Morning Good - Make It Happen - Episode 241

Episode Date: October 13, 2024

Matt Bowman and Surya Deer join the show for today's episode. They talk about Tampa's Lieutenant Dan, George Droid, the Buster BBW dating app.Thanks to Matt for coming back on the show and to Surya for joining us for the first time. Check Matt out on previous episodes of the show and for even more, hit the links down below.Surya is on Instagram @suryadeer and runs Smolder Comedy, a monthly live comedy show at Revision Lounge in Alphabet City, NYC. Matt is on Instagram as well @mattbowmancomedy and also hosts the podcast Matt Bowman is Bothered.As always, find Michael Good on Instagram @michaelgoodcomedy and on Twitter @agoodmichael. Check out the show on YouTube and follow the official Instagram page @morninggoodpodcast.

Thanks for the F-Shack. I love dirty mic and the boys. Hey, are you dirty mic and the boys? How you know who we are? What's this? They called the podcast? Morning, very good. Oh, I love it.

Hey, welcome to the air. Thanks. Welcome to morning. All right. I'm here with Matt Bowman and Syria Deere. Yes, which one's which? Well, I mean, there's audio. Dude, that's so racist.

Yeah. there's audio listeners, so they'll have no idea. That's true, I'm sorry. I just met him too. I'm sorry, I hope we're cool. I wanted to do that thing. Nice. It's, it's, I'm Greek.

Yeah. I really want to do that thing because you guys don't know each other and I wanted to make it really awkward. I'd be like, wait, no, Matt, you said you know him. Like, you said you know him. You said you know him. Because I fucking, dude, I hate those. I've had a couple of those introductions, especially with the comics. Like, do you know so-and-so?

And like, yeah, yeah. You go, cool, we're about to see him around the corner. And you're like, oh, fuck. Ooh, I have five them once. But you don't say that, and then you introduce each other. And they're like, hey, you guys know each other, right? And the guys are like, I don't think we do. No.

No. Sorry, Dave Chappelle. I told everybody we know each other. Yeah, that happens a lot. You and Dave Chappelle running into each other. Oh, I get a lot of dreams. My favorite is I'll get dreams from, like, I build relationships with bigger comics, and I'm like opening for them and all this.

Yeah. And then I wake up. I'm like, fuck, I have no idea. I'm like, God damn it. Dude, I had a dream one time that I went, this was in high school. I had a dream that I did first through third period. in school, and then I woke up and I was in bed, and I was furious. What do you mean?

Like, I woke up, and in my dream, I did first period, second period, third period of school that day. Oh, yeah. And then I woke up and I was in bed still. I was furious. Oh, and you had to go redo it? Yeah, and I had to go redo school. I'd already done three periods of school in my head, and then I wake up, and now I have

to actually go do it. I have that when I'm, like, really stressed about something. Yeah. Or, like, the next day I haven't, if I'd have, like, an exam the next day, then I'd take that exam, like, seven times in my sleep. And then I take it like The eighth time And then I'd be like

And then I do well But sometimes I just be like Fuck this Yeah I've done this before I'd be like fuck you Yeah Yeah yeah yeah

Well I had one recently where I was I was trying I woke up early to like get like a nice writing session Yeah And I took a caffeine pill And then I Fell it I was listening to stand up tapes

And I lucid dreamed So I was taking a nap But I think maybe it was the caffeine pill That like had me alert Yeah So I'm just watching my tape in my dreams, like, breaking down the jokes. And I was like,

I should have paused more there. So I was like, I was like sleeping and doing a writing session. And the notes were like, I woke up, like when I woke up and got out of the dream, they were like reasonable notes. Damn. You were somehow more productive asleep than I am at my host awake. Yeah, I was fucking insane, dude.

My God, the ultimate comic. On all the time. Even his subconscious is generating material. Dude, yeah, that's the, I would love to like talk to you like a comic, like, you fucking, you're not lucid dreaming? Dude, you're wasting hours every fucking idea. I do 10 sets in my sleep.

It's like that Ralphie Mae, like, speech where you're just like, ah, I don't, you guys watch TV? I don't watch TV, I write. You guys watch, you watch, you're watching, you're watching criminal minds? That's 45 minutes so you could be writing. I'm better than you. And I'm like, how much that was the tone of it?

Stuffing your face, you fat, retard. Dude, and then they killed him. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I like that one. That's a good conspiracy theory. I love it. every comic is now getting on conspiracies. Have you seen Eddie Griffin is now into conspiracies?

Oh, really? I just saw a clip of it. First off, saw the clip of it. I love you. You see a comic in like a gamer chair and you're like, sweet. This guy's podcasting now. The background is like a world map or something like that. I don't like hell yet.

He's like the hurricanes, they're making it happen. Like he's in the- I didn't hear about that until today. That's a thing. Oh, by the way, for the listeners, before we make all these jokes about thousands of people that are going to die. Yes.

We are starting her. Hurricane Milton. So nobody's died yet. So I feel like I'm literally going to be like, oh, and then my whole entire family is just going to be wiped out in Florida and I'll be like, but I already sent it to my producer and he's like, dude, we're already uploading and I'm at the beach. That's happened

last weekend. We had to cut some shit because somebody like name drops something and then we already dropped the episode. Oh no. My producer's like, I'm at a festival, dude. I can't. Sorry. I'm like, yeah, that's fair. What are you going to do? Yeah, but we were saying your system? People, I just saw today that people are thinking that they

start the hurricanes with like a laser or something? Well, Marjorie Taylor-Grid, I love that she said. She goes, yes, they can control the weather. And I'm like, just say Jews. Because either you don't think it's Jews. We're all going to think you're saying. So you say Jews. Because I think it's Elon Musk's Twitter. I think you could say Jews control the weather on there.

What didn't at the end of that tweet, wasn't she just like, yes, they control the weather, and if you don't know that, you're an idiot. It's like, all right, dude, that's so crazy. Those memes are so good. I saw a meme. It's like a guy on the couch. It's like waiting for my Jewish girlfriend

to get back from the weather factory. The factory is so funny. It's like ships that every Jew has to like work. Well, it's such a weird thing to say because saying they control the weather, everybody, like if you don't mean Jews, but you just mean the government and then save the government

because everybody's going to think you mean Jews. Yeah. If you mean Jews, just say Jews. Because everybody thinks you're talking about the Jews. So you don't look at it. Yeah, I don't know. Yeah, you don't save much by just saying they. Yeah, unless that's what they wanted to go by.

Yeah. In which case, I don't know. It's actually, it's more anti-Semitic if you say they and not Jews. Yeah. Right. Yeah. You're not even humanizing. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Dude, she's an idiot. That's like something more. That's what I just came up with. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm going out on a limb here and saying that she is a moron. Yeah.

Well, somebody has a good bit about that. Like, if they would control the weather, then why would they live in the, Israel would not be the desert? You are right over there? Yeah. Dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude. I had, like, fucking so much caffeine today. Like, the problem is what I do for my job is I take a bunch of caffeine, and then I work on the couch, and I'm, like, wondering why I'm tired.

Oh, I think that they, like, pay you to take a bunch of caffeine. You're just doing, that's how bad it is. You're just enrolling in drug trials. While I'm just hanging out of the apartment, I'm like, can you guys quiet down? I'm trying to work here. What's it going to do? Dude, there's, like, a guy. I heard he was on Shane Gillis's podcast.

He fucking did that shit. He, like, did, like, pharmaceutical trials for, like, psych meds. That's so crazy. Well, I've taken the crazy shit I've taken is this thing called Syracill. So it's for, like... Do you know what that is? No, but I'm just like... I don't know.

I just imagine you in, like, a lab. Giving it to you in... No, no, no, no, no. But this guy would take, like, for pay, which that's crazy. Yeah, yeah. But I was going to do, like, an OCD thing, so I took Syracquil, which is anti-psychotic. Uh-huh. So they use...

Like, if you have, like, extreme anxiety or, like, OCD, then they get that to you to sleep. Yeah. But if you have schizophrenia, like, I had a friend's schizophrenia, they just, they just, you get that to you in the morning. So schizophrenic dudes are basically just on like heavy sleeping pills, like all that. Whoa. And it makes you like a fucking zombie. Yeah. Shit. Damn, dude.

And he was in such a bad way financially that he was like I need to sign up for that to test that out? Or was he just doing it because he likes drugs? You're talking about the Changilis guy? Not my friend. Oh, yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, I guess he was just to make money. Oh, damn. Your friend was actually schizophrenic. Yes. Oh, wow. And you're schizophrenic? No.

Oh. These stories are getting all mixed up. I said too many things at once. Okay. So your friend is schizophrenic. You are, you are actually schizophrenic. We do not exist. Yeah.

Dude. Yeah. I've got a really creative brain then because you guys are treats. Wait a minute. I build such good characters in my schizophrenia. Hold on. He's not schizophrenic anymore? He's dead.

Oh. Yeah, I was trying to figure out. I was about to be like, wait, how is schizophrenia less intense than like alcoholism? Yeah. No, he's very dead. Oh, no. Well, it's so funny, too, because it's like, every time I mention the guy, I'm like, okay, they're going to ask him. He's dead.

They're going to ask how it got cured. Every time, you're not the first. Every time. So how did he cure the schizophrenia? Well, yeah, when you phrase it, like, he doesn't have it anymore. You're kind of burying the lead that he is dead. One of my dead friends with schizophrenia. There you go.

But, yeah, that shit's crazy because it's like, I would see him and you just be like on, he'd just be so relaxed. And you really want to be that guy. who's just like, hey, bud, throw those out. Let's get the old you back. Right. Come on. You don't want to be that guy,

but there's that little piece of you that's like, I mean, it's like anybody. That old guy was like fun. What's up? That old guy was fun? No, it wasn't that. It was just like, it was such a like, like, the old guy was fun.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. This gets afraid, but there's the middle ground. So it's like. For sure. I don't know if schizophrenia is like a 24-7 thing, though. I think it might be like you have it. And then you go,

I think you go through like phase. is where it like... It's like Bautamania? I think so. And they have... Do they... At least in like every, like, crime show that has like a schizophrenic,

like killer or kidnapper or whatever. They're hallucinating, too. That like, yeah, hey, that guy's not really there. Or like, that's the big reveal at the end of the episode that the girl he was talking to wasn't fair. But I don't understand it, like, a beautiful mind. Because it's like one of those things were like, I never saw him going through an episode,

but I did seem even when he was on medication and he would say some crazy shit to me. Yeah. Which sucks because he's like, he'd be like, yeah, dude, I was thinking about I was going to get up abducted by aliens or some dumb stuff like that. Anyways, can you give this guy's necklace so that the sun saves? And you're like, wait, wait, wait, wait. It's hard to, like, tell somebody like, I mean, I would kind of just go along with the shit.

I wonder why, like, I feel like a big thing with most schizophrenics. And again, I don't know anything. Don't, he's not alive. But it seems like, it seems, a lot of their delusion goes back to that the government is watching them. Yeah, he's just more like God stuff. Like he thought he was God. Oh, shit.

That's way cooler. That sounds like so much fun. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Dude, because he's not living in like paranoia or anything. He's just like, you know, he thinks he controls everything. Right, yeah, but then it's like, then you think somebody else is the devil. That's where the problem comes up. Oh, man.

That sounds. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, dude. But it always, it feels like it always goes back to just like, they're out there. They're in the birds. Yeah, well, then there's different types. There's like, he had to get so effective. which I don't know exactly the difference, but then there's like,

there's like paranoid schizophrenics, which I guess I assume are just more paranoid. And then there's like less paranoid. I mean, there's some level of fun that some people have. Like I've definitely seen some homeless dudes and they're just like having like a great day with the worm and shit.

Yeah. Dude, I saw one guy. He had like a banana phone. And he would just be like, this guy would be like doing business meetings. It was outside of open. He'd be like, yeah. Well, we're going to make it happen.

We're going to make it happen. Dude, there was a, there was an old Christian, Finnegan bit that I saw it was like on a Comedy Central half hour and he was just like I envy those like the homeless dudes conversations that they're having with themselves. He's like I spent

like four hours talking to my wife about a new bed skirt. Meanwhile this guy over here is discussing military strategy with Charlemagne. Yeah. I want that conversation. That sounds awesome. Well dude they were saying Patty was saying in the last episode he's like do you should start giving out your phone number to homes guys to leave

voicemails and stuff like that. Oh shit. Yeah yeah. I think that would be really fun. I think we'd get some interesting convos. Yeah. That, I mean, that's why... Or they would be terrible. You'd be like, I was stabbed! Yeah, I'm like, I just got to hear a guy bleed out.

Yeah, then you're just an accomplice somehow. What if they actually have just insane insights into the human condition, you know? They're all right to think about you. I hope they're figuring something out. Yeah. You don't have a goddamn job. How about you figure something out, pal? Yeah.

That's what I always say. Yeah, and then I kick them. I do that. I normally give them a math equation. I say, look, when you solve this, I will give you exactly what. one penny. Yeah, me at MIT. Like a young Ronald Reagan. Exactly. No, I'm more like just a fucking

dumbass. I like, I was drunk a couple I know I was joking. Yeah. Dude, I gave a homeless guy a four loco like a week ago and I was like, and by the, it's not the first time I've done it. It's not like, I'll be drunk and the guy will be like, hey man, I can't get a four logo? And I'll be like, everybody deserves a

four locoe. Yeah, dude. Like in my mind, I'm like, I remember my forced loco, even this is like, it's like, it's like you living a commercial. My first loco. But you know kids, when I was a kid, homeless guys, bought alcohol for me. Really? Now it's time for me to start.

Oh, dude. Pay it forward, dude. So, hon, who approached two in that scenario? Oh, I would approach homeless dudes. And be like, hey, can you go buy me? And what was in it for them? They could keep the change or they could get some of it? Yeah, yeah.

You'd be $5 you buy us. Okay. We go to the beach and there'd be homeless guys. There's one guy named Robo who, like, would just be really, fucked up on Robitussent and he was Oh man that's way lamer Yeah He thought he was gonna be like fucking the robot or something

Yeah he was actually Dude have you seen those George Droid memes It's so fucked up They're like George Floyd is like brought back to life Like Robocop Oh my gosh no It's a really racist but funny page It's called George Droid

Wow I have not But I'm not shocked that it has come up on your 4U page It's so wild They like They're like he's made with five beep bites. Like they make it sound robotic.

And they're like once the vent reactor started, the machine comes back. But it's like they'll AI it. Like it is objectively funny just because like it'll be like Elon Musk. But like AI saying like when we decided to bring George Floyd back to life. George Droid.

But yeah, it's pretty George Droid. George Droid. Yeah. But then you ever see something like that? And then you see a black guy, you know, like to you're like, okay, so I can laugh at this, right? You're like, yeah, yeah. Okay, so I could, I think this is, whoo, right that I was. Damn.

But the fucking, yeah, I know, he'd buy us stuff. Then there would just be other just like Santa Claus looking guys that would just buy us beer and we're kids. Nice. How young we talking? Probably like nine. No, I'm getting. I wish that was legit. I wish I had a dark past.

No, no. Okay, what's, what age is the cutoff for when, like, I started? Sex with me. No, like, when kids are, what age is, like, oh, man, that's sad. Like, when, if a kid's, like, I started drinking at X age. I think it just depends on where they are now. I think, like, 12. 12?

Well, I think, like, 13, I'm like, I'm like, yeah, 14 was when I started. Damn. So I was like, well, I'm going to fucking heaven. So I started at 21. So you guys, yeah, you turned 21? Well, technically, I had my first beer a couple weeks before I turned 21. Really? I'm Hindu, so I'll just come back

in like a bad life. I'll come back a cockroach and then I'll just like rebuild. I'll worry about that. We were just talking about Hindus the other day. And no, I want to hear your opinion on this. The do, okay, so like, why am I stuttering?

It's all right, get it out. Can I just be racist without worrying about it? Can you maybe chill for a second? Did you see how I started this episode? Yeah, dude. So schizophrenia is it bad. Okay, so like, do most Hindus actually believe in the gods, or is it like a, like a, like a, uh, uh, the way people believe in things like metaphorically? That's a, that is a good question.

Thank you. Because like, by the way, the way I said this on their podcast, I'm like, no, they don't believe in that. And that's, and that's not racist at all. No, no, no, yeah, yeah. I thought you were going to be like, so why, how come you look black? Yeah. And why does that make me angry? No, no, no, no, no.

Like, that's a racist question. No, the question was just like, can you? Can you explain your religion, please? It's very reasonable. No, no, no. Well, I think the thing, too, is the one thing I do love about this podcast is not intentional, but the diversity is very low. And the reason I love that is because it's very funny to watch people speculate on things they don't know the answer to. So, like, a lot of times we'll be talking about Hasidic Jews.

We could just have a Hasidic Jew on there. But I would so much rather my friends try to figure out why their hats are like that. Because it's like, we can solve this just by having a Jewish guy on. this. It's so much funer to watch. You live in Williamsburg, Brooklyn. Yeah, yeah. It's just open the door. They're out there.

Every time I've been here, I've seen it. Oh, totally. Yeah, yeah. And it's like, but that'll happen with, like, other groups, too, we'll be like, why do black people like, where did this whole cool thing come from? And instead of, if there was a black guy on the podcast, he would explain it. But I'd much rather watch a white guy, I'd be like, well, actually, it goes back to slavery.

Try to figure. When, you know, they would crush up berries into a powder. be grape flavored. Right. And then you have the whitest Indian guy in the world on the podcast and you're like,

oh, I don't want to come across his race. Yeah, the rest of the reason. You don't have a mom is because you're too much of a puss to ask the question. You're too much of a puss to ask Carty garage. But I am interested in the answer to that.

Well, it's like interesting because like both my parents are kind of, I mean, yeah. So my, I look at my mom and she's like, a big believer in the gods, and she's, like, super religious, and she's kind of, like, a fanatic of, like, one god Shiva, but she believes in all of them, but, uh, yeah. Why ones, is one, are some more powerful than others?

Yeah, I think it's, like, it's difficult, but some people, it's difficult to explain, but, like, it's not, like, Greek mythology where each one has its own, like, purpose. It's more, it's kind of, like, I think each god is kind of like, it's like a DIY, you know? So you have one god that's your primary focus. And then there are others that you acknowledge and kind of like throw prayers

towards every now and again. But that's kind of what like the diehard Hindus like typically believe in. Is it like, okay. So like I guess you could say like the Greek gods or like the saints. They're kind of like a superhero league where like one can do this and one can do that. But then there's

one like Superman who can just do everything. Yeah. There's yeah. So they're more like specialist right like gods in Greek mythology. And they have those in like Hinduism but they do like big three and typically people of those big three people typically only really worship like either Vishnu or Shiva. Okay. So by the way, have you heard Stanhope's bit about Vishnu? No. It's so funny. He's talking about he's like, you know how there's like a bus rape problem

in India? Yeah. He's like, that's why there's, that's why Vishnu has forearms. He's like his one indie guy is not capable of raping a woman. So the ideal form. would be one man. Oh my God, that's great. Dude, it's like a five minute. His bits are so, they're so long. But, um, like, was vision? Is that the god of war?

He's, uh, yeah. It's like, well, I think, no, I think that Shiva. I don't know. I think they're both like war gods. Okay. Honestly, everyone in Indian mythology is a war god. Okay. Like, there's, yeah.

Well, it's interesting. I don't think I've ever, like in my, I don't think I've learned about an Indian war. like in my mind, I think of every country and I see like three images in India. Yeah. I mean like... As in like in India,

at war propagated by India the country? Well, I'm saying like I know there was like some like British dudes that were doing some bad shit. Yeah, they're like, I mean like there's tons of, I mean, there's a lot of shit going on around Kashmir around like the occupancy of that

between like Pakistan and India. Oh, yeah, that's been like an ongoing struggle for... Well, I guess like since Pakistan's like, inception. Okay. Maybe,

I mean, shit, I don't know, the 60s. Okay, well, you know what makes sense too, though? Because I feel like American history

or like, schools in America will teach like only wars that were involved in. Yeah. I mean, I only know about that

because my grandparents are like, sure. Or were like actively just fuck attuned to it. Yeah. Right.

Right. I am a massive history fan and so like I probably know more but like, it's a very, it's a very, funny criticism that I think when people are just like, yeah, like

in American history classes, like, you only learn about America. It's like, yeah, yeah, yeah, dog. Yeah, yeah. No way in Japan, so they're learning about the Civil War. No, there's no fucking reason to it. Yeah. I mean, in Indian, I'm, like, in schools there, they only really learn about, like, Indian history. Yeah, how much time do you have a day to teach? Yeah. There's so much of it. Yeah, unless you're going to some

bougie private school where they're teaching, like, AP World. Right, right. That's a class. Or you have like an elective where you can take Indian studies or something. For sure. Yeah. You're not getting, yeah. You don't fucking need it. Who cares?

Well, my favorite thing I used to think, this is how dumb I was when I was a kid. I thought the, I thought world wars. I thought all of them were every single country fighting. Dude, that'd be sick like the Olympics. Yeah. Yeah. Like a bracket style. I thought like indie.

I thought people just freaked out one year and we're like, oh, fuck Mexico and India is fighting Mexico and like. What if they had like a para world war? where like it's that, but it's like all the retards from every country fighting. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Not retards, like, retarded people. No, I don't, yeah, retarded. Mortarded abled people. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I had a... Strong necks. Strong necks.

Can I tell a quick India-Pakistan story? Yeah, yeah. So I did, I was out on Long Island, this was several months ago. I was taking too long. I'm a kid. Yeah.

I was out of long. Island. And it was, I stopped into a smoke shop to get a vape because I'm a real cool guy. And there, there were three Indian dudes that were there. And like, the guy was at the cashier. And then, like, his two brothers, I found out were sitting there and they were looking up at a TV. And I go over and I look. And they were watching cricket. And it was the same day that the United States had beaten Pakistan and cricket, which is like a huge fucking deal. Like, in Pakistan, India, cricket is top dog type deal. And so I asked him, I was like, are you watching, you watching cricket? He was like, yeah, we love it. And I was like, oh, did you see the U.S. beat Pakistan today? He was like,

oh, yeah, me, my three brothers, we dance. I was like, oh, yeah, dude, he's like, oh, yeah, dude, are you Indian? He's like, oh, yeah, and India would never lose. I'm like, all right, dude, that riffs. That's so funny. Yeah, we had, I remember, like, I didn't know that cricket is, like, a big Indian thing. Yeah. And then we had an Indian kid or a score of one day, and, like, he was, like, not athletic at all. And we were, like, a gym class. And then, randomly where he did like cricket. And like he's just fawking every... Like he is like a professional athlete.

Like every other sport he was just kind of like, you know, like... Whatever. Yeah, yeah. And then cricket comes around and he was like... Bang and his fuck at it. Dude, I don't know. And I... This is another thing where it's just like I could easily solve this problem by Googling how to play cricket.

Yeah. But I just don't understand the scoring of it. Because I feel like every single time I look at a cricket score, it's like 300 to 12. And I'm like, what is happening in this game? Yeah. So they have this thing called like runs. So you get like a run. Yeah, so like you hit the ball

and then you run back and forth between two wickets. Every time you run to another end, that's one run. Got you. You hit the ball over like the boundary. That's six additional six ones. In the boundary, but it still goes over.

Right. Like it bounces and goes over. That's four. Okay. And then it like fucking adds up. Yeah. Well, I mean, it seems like it's just like, baseball feels like a derivative kind of of that to a degree.

Yeah. Yeah. I just don't like, like, I hate when you play some games, though, and people start making up these crazy rules. Like, you know that shuffleboard game where it's like sand on a shuffle board? Oh, yeah. I just like, we're out at a bar this weekend, and this guy starts like, first off, he takes his like Costco card and starts combing up sand

and like evening out the sand on the table. It's just like a bar game. Yeah. And then he starts, like, make up these crazy rules. Because in my mind, you're like, okay, well, there's all these numbers in the table. I assume wherever your puck lands, that's the number you have. He's like, no, no, no, it's the furthest one minus this. dude and I just hated that man

I hate when I don't play pool but there are times where I'm just like oh this bar has a pool table hey you want to play pool and then like you there's always some guy who goes I'm playing win

and you're like there for five hours yeah and you're like dude no one knows you what are you doing or then they are just like oh you touch the they're actually the house rules and we play a diff I'm like dude I'm just trying to fuck around

and drink a couple of blood lights like what are we talking about you're trying to get drunk forget about my week and my ex-girlfriend I'm not to the low point of my life where I give a shit about the rules of pool. Yeah, I'm literally, I'm, an hour from now, I will be on Tinder trying to bang the fattest girl in the world.

And you're saying this to me? I have a wife. Yeah, yeah. Oh, dude, you gotta get on Buster. What? That's a real. Please tell me that's real. That's real.

Dude, fuck, is it for big chicks? Yeah. Dude, I definitely, I got, I like fat women. I like them so much. No, but for real. Like, I mean, it's just like, if you have a dry streak, you need a fuck of fat girl, and then like break out of it. Yeah.

And then it's just, but that's all it really takes. Yeah, yeah, well, no, no, no,

no, no, this isn't like a dry streak or this is, I like fucking fat women. Like, almost more than like, I don't know, it's a mix. Wait,

where he's saying? My God. What? You disgust me. Damn, dude. But, uh, no,

I like, yeah, well, I don't know, it's like, I don't know, it's like, I don't know,

it's like, but it's not like one of these things, too, words, like, I don't also not like attractive, but I just like additionally like, like, fat chicks. Yeah. Like, I think some people have a weird taste where they're like, oh, I'm on a, not weird taste, but it's like I'm, I'm very appreciatives of all kinds of.

Yeah, I like a nice body and like nice. If you go to, if you go to porn hub, what's your first search then? Fat chicks, big chicks. A lot of times, yeah. BB dubs. I like them, yeah. Yeah. Yeah, but it's like, uh, it's like just appreciating different things, you know?

It's always, I've always said this. It's like the guy who's like, oh, I like music and you're like, really? And he likes, like, one band. If you like pussy, you like every kind of pussy. And so somebody who fucks like one hot girl every three months. He's like, I have high standards. I'm like, shut up. The way that you were just like, yeah, that's a great point.

This is my gun. Damn, dude. All right. What are the gun laws in India? I don't know, dude. I mean, like, I feel like I've met people who owned guns in India. Okay. Yeah, I don't know.

I feel like they're lax, but it's probably banned. Like, it's probably outlawed, but if you own one, you can pay a cop off. Because I'm just based in slumdog millionaire is alive. That's all I know. It's pretty accurate. Okay, sweet. Yeah. I mean, for that, for if you're, like, living in the slums.

Sure. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Not for, like, you can have a gun if you're poor. I get, yeah. Well, they're, like, gangsters. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But, I don't know. Yeah, they're gangsters and, like, people who live in slums.

Like, there's also just the middle class. that exists in India. Yeah, you either think of, I just think of like a really rich guy like, oh, or I think like, poor as fuck. And then there's me.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Well, it's like every country, I never think of just a guy working in an office, which is everybody to go. Like, when I think of Africa, I never think of a guy in an office. You think of, like,

you think of fucking Rafiki from the Lion King or some shit? Yeah, I just, I will, yeah, I've also Lion King, I've said this multiple times, when does it take place?

in the future. Okay. Randomly, just like a hovercraft goes by. You're like, what? I mean, it's all animals. I know, but I'm still curious. There's poachers exist and there's no poachers in this area. Okay.

Fair enough. Like, are you going to see a truck full of, like, kids? That would be a really, that would be a funny remake of just like, you remake of the Lion King. Yeah. But yeah, there's humans. Yeah. Occasionally. You know, like, when they go about, like, Pride Rock and they're like,

like go over there. It's like the bad area or whatever. And there's just dudes just like ripping tusks off of elephants. It's a horror movie. Like, wait, what the fuck, dude? Oh, that would be sick. Yeah, yeah. Let's make it.

Wait, what's that country you can shoot a bazooka at a cow? Wait, let me look this up. There is some country where you can do that. Probably America. No. Like if you fancy. Fucking Kamala, dude. She won't let you have anything these days, dude.

Oh, dude. Such a strict lady. I will say this is getting a real problem. I think I think I got real sexism because every time I see Kamala's talk, I'm just like, shut up. Well, you're not.

Are you sure you're not just racist? Ooh. What do you think it's both? Oh. I don't think it's both. I think she gives off principal energy. She does not give off cool black lady energy. That's why I don't think she's black.

I don't, I really, I don't care, but I do think if, like, just listening to her speak, I don't think, like, I'm not like, shut up, but I do think it's clear that she has no idea what she's talking about at all. Like, did you see that 60 Minutes interview? Cambodia is where you could shoot cows the bazooks. Oh, dude, let's book it.

I think she's like, I think she's like a regular politician. And she's just like, yeah, she's sure she's like crafty and she's like weird and oblique. But that's how like all politicians are. And she's not like an insane media personality. No, no. So it's like whatever. It's like she'll suck. They'll all suck.

It's just a principal energy. I don't know. At least she's normal, you know. I'm such a rebellious cunt. Like I was walking by yesterday, you know when you walk by a set of a movie, and you can't walk past you. I love just looking at some NYU saying, yes, I can't. I'm just walking

that, but just because they told, it's so insane that I'm like... And because you're a pedophile, yeah. And because I'm a pedophile? Yeah, yeah. No, I'm just kidding. Sorry for derailing your... Yeah, why do you think he's blocking out his face right now? As he says that, he doesn't want to be seen. What? No. Yeah.

No, yeah, I don't know. I just like, but it's weird because if people are taking a picture, I will always go around. I'm like, oh, sorry about that. Interesting. But for some reason, they're shooting a movie. And I'm like, especially just because like their job, they're just getting ready to tell me. Yeah. You know what it is?

If they were just wearing a t-shirt, like, hey, could you not walk by? I'd be like, absolutely. But they said you can't walk by. Yeah. I'll fucking show you. Yeah, it's my right. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And then I'm going to be in this movie. Yeah. I get that. Yeah. Oh.

well, he's kind of the king, right? He's kind of the boss. I guess. Yeah. Every time he makes a movie, he makes a hurricane too. Yeah, yeah, that's what I've heard, yeah. Mm-hmm.

Yeah, I don't know. I also saw, I saw a crazy, I saw like a Google map that, like, went in, and it was, like, Google Maps, and the guy went underground and, like, showed that there's, like, it's, like, it's, like, clearly fake, but it's, like, people building a hurricane thing.

It's a guy's in scuba diving masks, like, building devices. And I'm like, you are so retardant. It's like, it's air. It's also like hurricanes happen all the time. It's like, and I think the problem is when people are just like, oh, by, we should turn on updates. While, uh, the problem I have more is like the people that are doing the, like, it's like you, it's like whenever something happens in the news and then you can't believe it so you come with the conspiracy. Yeah.

Like the people that believe the government's controlling the weather. If you thought that like three years ago, then totally. But just now that there's a hurricane, now you've decided to believe it because you can't, you know what I mean? It's like the same with the Trump assassination. It's like, there's people. that now are saying there's like aliens involved. It's like you just this is just a weird thing that happened. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, I think that's just the human condition to try to try to find a reason for something. Because it's a scarier world to live in where just random shit happens and no one controlled it. Yeah. So you need to be like, no, this crazy thing happened, but it's because X, Y, and Z did it. There should be some sort of rational explanation behind it. Yeah, because you think you'd fix it a little bit. Even if the rational explanation is absolute dog shit.

Yeah. Natural disaster is like scary as a phenomenon. Because there's no real catalyst. Yeah, no. Yeah. I mean, it's just like so fucking random. Dude, Tampa is just gray right now. Yeah, well, okay, we're watching the live cam of the storm right here. You know, I also want to see, dude, that guy who's in the boat, I messaged him on Instagram.

I really fucking wish you'd answer me. So you guys, like Lieutenant Dan. Oh, that guy, yeah, I saw him. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So he's just like some crackhead who's in like a boat. He said that like a forest... Dude, how does a crackhead have a boat, and I have... This is a three hours ago.

I just made a video, but it had no sound, so I'll make it through again. Just to let you know, I'm still on the boat. I don't even know what time it is. But, um... So he's just in the Bay of Tampa. He's like this guy with one leg. He's like, God's going to take care of me. I'm going to be fine.

And then they're like, anything gets you out of this boat? He's like, you have me a hotel room and a woman. He also has somebody goes to go to the woman that's going to stay there. and it was a little ravey but yeah. But yeah, he's like, then I'll get out of this boat. My brother was like,

what if this is just a giant plea for pussy? Like he's just, he's like, I'm a dad, unless any women want to go. Dude's crafty, bro. Dude's are craft.

He doesn't have care but he's curling his hair. He's like, unless, like, you don't any cute girls. The one that I saw like some dudes, some, like,

wapped up to him. He was like, Lieutenant Dan, what's you doing? He was just like, I'm staying on my boat. Yeah. Staying on my boat.

And he was like, are you sure? Like, you think it's going to make it? He's like, man, as long as I stay on this side of them boards, and he points, and it's literally just like a dock that's like four feet wide. He's like, if I stay on this side, I'm going to be good. I'm like, I don't think so, brother, but whatever, man. Well, the funny part too is like, he's like, in his mind, he's like, yeah, water rises so the boat will rise.

Like, in his mind, he definitely is like a meth head who's like, he's definitely a religious meth head. So in his mind, he's like, this will be just like the arc. The water will rise and I will lift. But it's like when it's a hurricane, it's not just, if it's a flood, I get what you're saying. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But it's like the wind is also blowing at you and like a weird raid and there's going to be lightning storms. But I hope he lives and I hope, or it'll be an interesting thing is if he goes in to like rescue people on that boat.

But then he's like, well, now I saved you. Yeah. You want to give a little kiss? You want to go to a hotel room and stay? Yeah, yeah. He's also, he's got like a stub leg. It would be cool if he had like a dildo device he could attach to that. So he could bang two chicks at the same time, just like.

Yeah. That sounds like one of your lucid dreams. Yeah. Like, whoa. Yeah. As you're doing that, you're like, is this anything? So I'm working on this bid about hurricanes. Yeah, but I don't know if he lives in the bill.

I look through his old, he's blowing up on TikTok right now, but I was looking through some of his old stuff. And it's all just, you know, P of you video is like, I love just one of those guys. He's like, yeah, I'm here in front of the racetrack. Somebody shared my video earlier. I appreciate that, Debbie. Yeah. Yeah. It's kind of like when I talk to people sometimes, because everyone,

realize sometimes I say a lot of things that you're just me filling the air. Yeah. And Jake's are the best thing to me. He's like, you know, it's kind of awesome because you'll say like 10 things that are irrelevant. But one of those I'll be like,

this is what I'll respond to. Oh, yeah. And he's like, you give me like 10 options of things to have a conversation. That's great. It's like a buffet conversation. Yeah, yeah. He's like,

nah, that's all nonsense with this right here. This is worth talking to. No, dude. Yeah, yeah. Yeah. But, crazy conspiracy theories

I'm all right but this hurricane I'll talk about that hurricane yeah yeah yeah well it's hard too because every hurricane they always the news always says

really big so people in Florida just don't take any of them seriously yeah yeah so it's tough because they could be like this is the biggest hurricane

you're like well you guys said that the last nine hurricanes yeah dude that's how I felt about that like growing up in Ohio with snow they would always

just be like fucking don't even think don't even look outside it's gonna just be dead tomorrow and then you wake up and you're like am I not going to school and they're like, you're actually late.

Get to fucking snow now. Like, there was no snow. I'm like, all right, dude, what the hell? Well, you know what part too? I love those guys out there. There's always, like, a guy, weather reporter who's, like, standing there on, like, a pier and it's, like, the horror case.

He's like, no, everybody needs to be inside now, but he's still there. I mean, it's important we get, like, a view. Why is it important? He's the sacrifice. Dude, I think, he's the toughest guy. He's like, everybody, I mean, these idiots, they won't go off. I'm the martyr.

Yeah, I'm the strongest guy in this town, so I can stand up against this wing. I just imagine the guy that I feel bad for in that scenario is like the cameraman. Yeah. Because the reporter's the nut job. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Dave just gets assigned. Right.

And he's just like, oh, I fucking guess. Also, we have fucking drones. Why aren't they're, I mean, I guess maybe they're not strong enough? I don't know. Send George droid. Yeah. George droid. But, yeah, I don't know.

That's fucking, it's insane. I don't know. I think it's like one of those things we're like, yeah. I started that sentence thinking I had enough momentum for it to lead somewhere but it did not. It's all right. I like talking podcasting now.

I'll be talking to people and be like, yeah, you know, and that's just the way things always have been. And I'm like, why don't I have to tie a bow on this sentence? And in conclusion. I did go to a Renaissance fair this weekend, though.

Oh, shit. Is that something you do? No, no. What the fuck, dude? I don't know. Yeah, I'm just out here banging fat chicks, dog. I feel like a lot of them are the Renaissance.

Here I was thinking you were a nerd who was desperate. But in reality, you just love the Renaissance Festival. And fat chicks. Love them. They're great. They're great. Like in my mind, I'm not even kidding.

I do like, there's always body positive because they're like, a big man, man and I'm beautiful. And I'm like, yeah, they're fucking hot and it makes me horny. Yeah. But I'm not going to act like I'm a better guy because of it.

I can't remember somebody said something about it where it was like about the body, positivity movement, and they were like talking like, men need a bum, I was just like, dude, we've been liking fat women for a little while now. Like, black dudes have been on this shit for forever.

And they know what is fucking cool. Yeah. That is my favorite shit is I will like fuck a fat woman. And then I'll be like, yeah, she's pretty thick. And then, but I'll like show it to black guys. They're like, she ain't even that fat. I'm like, thanks, bro. Just setting myself up for like

Okay, this is like this all... Bitch. Oh shit. She, and a wreck sick. Yeah. Yo, get that bitch some... Grossly overweight. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

God damn, bro. Yeah. She has an eating disorder. But, um... The Renaissance Fair was crazy because it was like, I didn't think it was just gonna be like... Because I'm, look,

I'm a single guy, but I'm also like, sometimes I'm like just trying to have a day with my buddy. And I went with my buddy, and I was like, let's just get really high, go to the Renaissance Fair. And I fucking like... And then it's like, show more hot women than I've seen in one place, like almost ever.

Wow. Did you dress up? Yeah, I dressed up like a king. I was looking for something really gay and Party City didn't have anything gay. I was kind of, I was like genuinely mad at parties. Like a gesture? Dude, I wanted to wear like just like tights. Like what do you call the, is it a Lear player?

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. And they always have that Lord Farquad haircut. Yes, I wanted to, oh, I should have just gotten a lord. They didn't have anything. Oh, so you wanted to go all out. Yeah, like I was like purposely like I'm not trying to hit on chicks the Renaissance Renaissance Fair. I'm trying to look goofy as hell.

Oh, that's cool. hang out with my buddy. And then we get there and then I'm dressed like a nobleman. So I got this like cool for like... Wait, wait, wait. Is the story going in the direction of, and I didn't want to get pussy?

No, I got toned at the Renaissance fair. And I'm so pissed about it. But we got bored and my buddy really like, nagged me into like, he's like, dude, if you don't hit on like nine chicks here, you're like, not even a man. Wow. And I was just like, but I smoked pot all day

and I forgot how fucking hard it is to talk to anybody when you're high. So I just had the worst conversations in my life I'm just like, so do you like dragons? And I just like lost all social. Like I didn't know how to talk. These are in character, dude. Dude, there be people trying to talk to me, like, trying to make friends with me sometimes.

And I would be like, yeah. And it kind of ruined my day. I forgot like pot can either make a day great or you can just ruin your fucking day. Yeah. It was so much better if I just didn't smoke pot. Because if you're not, if it's not going well, then you're just sitting there thinking you're like, I'm never going to get out of this. This is like, this is like, oh fuck.

This is going to be like four more hours like there or whatever, you know. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Exactly, yeah. And there's one of those things, too, where I'm just like, I don't know, I could have, like, I wanted to do other things.

I was like, I think we should do ketamine and get in wheelchairs so nobody can kick us up for being fucked up. They're going to be like, these guys are just disabled. Whoa. That's not what I was actually going to do that. But I was like, you could get away though. You know what you should have done. I don't know if this is, you should have gone as like a wizard like Gandalf.

And then you could just like bring a pipe, smoke that. And then if you're fucked up, it's all like part of the character. Yeah. You're just the zany old wizard thing. Because Gandalf is always high True They serve booze there I was really bummed

Because they said There's a pub crawl And I'm like Oh there's maybe like medieval pubs We could go to It was just You go to stands that sell beer I was like totally chile

Like I thought I would be I don't know why I pictured myself At this table full of like Guys going Oh Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha Just chugging mugs of beer

And like Somehow we would all know A medieval song together You thought you'd be transported To like a medieval world Yeah I don't know why I may fucking read that Now are there

Are there people that are employees that are like in character? Yes. And my buddy nagged me into hitting on them as well. And do they, were they just like, oh my goodness, the Lord speaks to me? Yes. Some of the people, they did have

to speak in character, but then this one woman, she explained, she was like a lunch lady and we got her whole story. Yeah. And then you just dragged her off to the stockade because you're the king. Exactly. Yeah, that's, that rips. Yeah, yeah. No, I'd walk up to men with their daughters who were like 12, and I was like, it is my...

I am invoking premonauter. Yeah, just a guy proposes to his wife. I'm like, oh, the marriage, I must consummate. But... Hey, pal, get off her. Somehow he's a 50s jock at a Renaissance figure. Hey.

Look at that guy. Hey, Michael, where should get that black guy from? But it was like so like, yeah, it was like all these like, and you would see the men that were, the women that were with men, literally, this needs to be, like, played at an in-sale convention because there was the hottest chicks I've ever seen

with the goofy, like, the weirdest guy. Like, it would be like a guy who's, like, the ugliest guy you've ever seen with a, like, I'm not even kidding, like, an eight. Wow. It was crazy. It's impressive. Yeah, I was out of control. But then also being high, everything just bums you out,

like, I'm a lunch lady, and I'm like, I wish you would have lied to man. Wait, she's a lunch lady at the Renaissance Fair or outside of the Renaissance? That would suck. You're just the lunch lady. You try to escape into like this medieval world. You're still like,

you're actually the janitor, bro. It's like, fuck, all right, I guess. Yeah, there was one guy really in character. He's dressed like Robin Hood. And yeah, he just started talking to it. He just robbed me. He just stole my money. Well, it's like, I also like, dude, the weird,

there's one woman who had like a lock around her neck. And I was like, what is that for? She's like, it's for things I can not talk about at the medieval affair. So, you're wearing just weird sex stuff here, and then you're asking me not to talk. Yeah. I don't know. That's awesome. But, yeah, then there was a joust.

The joust was fun. Oh, on real horses? Was it like a real joust? Yeah, yeah. Like proper, you could die from it? No. Yes, those were the stakes you could die. No, but they did have, like, blood packets, and they'd spray them.

Oh. Oh, it was like a performance. Right, yeah. So you donated blood in the last year. See, I'm an idiot now. That's okay. Don't. Oh, that was good.

And whatever. Suck it, Patty. That's pretty clear. Yeah, yeah. I was trying to do that earlier when you were like, it's called The Runs. And I was like, speaking of Indian food. Dude, that would have been great. Yeah, but I was like, my brain was like figuring out where I could insert it.

I'm like, just doesn't make sense. So overall, you got a good experience? No, I had a bad day. Then I got on the bus. And then I just started thinking about my breakup. And I just like, dude, I went to the bathroom. What was your breakup? It was like a year ago.

Oh. Yeah, I know. I know. I know. But she was a lovely woman, very small penis, but lovely woman. But no, I'm like in the bathroom just like crying. And you know when you pet pee in a bus bathroom and the guy's like, you're just peeing. I'm just peeing all over myself.

Yeah. And I'm just crying. I'm just covered in like piss and tears. And I'm just like having like the worst day of my life. Like just like. Because you also like when I start a piss, I can't stop it. And like the bus is just like hitting some sort of turbulence where it's just like, it's like, some sort of turpulence.

some sort of turbulent. Yeah, yeah, it was a nightmare of that. But I just like to think, like, in my head what I'm imagining is at some point, it's like there's so much turbulence as piss and, like, tears. Tears are flying around that it, it just starts raining piss and tears. Yeah, it's about hit the seal. Yeah, it's tristling down. It's condensating up at the top.

Is that cloud yellow? Like, what the fuck is going on? Yeah, I'm somehow shitting too, which is everything's coming out of me. He's like, well, what? It's like a closed loop It was funny You to get off the bus like kind of sad And throw my

Nobleman garb like away in the trash I'm literally a port authority Just like Just some guy that just really got rejected Yeah Yeah But then Yeah then like I went back and watched

Ancient Aliens my buddy and kind of you know Relaxed a little bit But I was like It was like he fell asleep on the bus So it was just like high with my own thoughts And that's kind of weird Yeah, I got really depressed. But I feel better now.

Everything's fine now. It's good. Yeah. Because you're not high anymore. Yeah, it's true. Yeah. Well, but sometimes it's important, though, I feel like to kick those thoughts to the front of your brain and be like, hey, you got to think about this now. Yeah.

Absolutely. Yeah. And also, I mean, I was like, I went into it with the bed. I like, I had to wake up early, but I was like, I'll go out like the night before. And I went out the night before and went to this bar. And I have like a whole testing kit for Ken of Maine. And I'm like, you know, I'm really not going to do this. And then I really got bars like, like, hey, you want to just.

do some ketamine and I was like yeah I don't need to test it because this guy seems nice. And I just did Kennedy with this guy at this bar. And then I'm in this room with these people talking and I don't know why. I'll get really fucked up and keep saying this. I'm like, this is literally what matters right now. And I have no idea what I was talking about. That's happened like multiple times from like this is what is important. I have no idea what it was.

You sound so annoying on drugs. Oh yeah. Honestly, let's never get hiding. These are the moments. I don't know why it turned into like a high school movie where I'm like, This is what is important right now. Remember this next summer. Toilipaper was already bought.

Patty grabs the worst toilet paper. I don't think he loves his own asshole. Every time I use toilet paper he has, it's like... You have a green asshole, but... I'm my own worst asshole. Do you know your asshole? It's no surprise to me. I am my own worst asshole cream.

You know like Scotch? I, it's just... Yeah. Yeah, I don't know. That stuff's a disaster. I don't know. You don't like scotch? No, I need...

Charmin? No, no. I pay a gay man to put little sheets of dryer sheets on... Oh, I'm not gonna lie. I fucking forgot what we were talking about, and I was like, you don't like, you don't... Oh, I thought you were talking about toilet paper, right? Yeah, he is. I fucked up.

That's my fault. Yeah, yeah. So, you... Do you think there's anybody that has a person that wipes their own ass? Like, because that's, like, besides, like, a disabled person. Like, do you think there's a movie who's rich enough that, like, that sounds like it's peatty thing. Like you'd have people wipe his ass.

Yeah. Or like a, like something that would happen in like succession. Yeah, you know? Just like, how committed are you

to the company? Yeah. Come over here. I bet there's like a service where you can get like a deep clean to your ass. Yeah. He's just like a professional.

Like any sort of like residual poop. There has to, I mean, that has to be a sex thing for somebody. Yeah. Like I know people like getting shat on. Right.

There's got to be somebody that's just like, all right, I'm going to shit, and then you're going to, like, go like this and then stay there. You know what? Like, that's got to be something like that. Yeah, I wanted to be a butler, though, like, Alfred, but he has like the sheets, like, he has the toilet paper like in his tuxedo pocket

and then he just, but it's like a nice napkin. Rather than a pocket square. Yeah, yeah, it's just toilet. But it's like a pocket square, so he puts it back in. I just covered in shit. I hope that was to see your lock in Mr. Wayne. Oh, shit. Looks like we'll have to change the doctor. Biotop briefly, Master Wayne.

I knew a man in Cambodia who liked this. What was the point? Don't pay me enough to do this. The point of that story was just that people are chaotic, right? Some people just want to watch the world burns. They burned, yeah. Oh, the Cambodian one?

Well, they... Well, it's weird because, like, yeah, that's the point of the story, but, like, you think about it, and you're like, holy shit. Like, Alfred was just part of this fucking very colonialist paramilitary group where they fucking burned a forest down. Yeah, yeah.

And like, I guess fucking replaced I forget what it was. They replaced like a dictator with some like revolutionary figure as like sort of a pawn for Commonwealth control. And I was like, what the fuck?

And he's like, and the joke, and he's like, and the Joker, that's what it has to do with the joke. It's all connected to that. And Batman doesn't even He does say it's so nonchalantly He's just like, how they catch him? He's like, they're burned a forest out.

Yeah, and it's like, wait, the whole forest? Also, you just don't know before that Alfred's backstory? Yeah. He drops it in one sentence, right? So what were you doing? Yeah, I was right pink men, women, and children. Yeah. I was shooting Indian kids in the face.

Have you ever heard of Hotel Rwanda? Yeah. That was my idea. Yeah, it's so like, uh, The Ho Chi Minh Trail All of it The Holocaust I do want to see

Camer Rouge I do want to see The new Joker movie I love I've said a hundred times I love It's like the Joker was in the writing room To make it a musical

It's like terrible It's apparently like a very boring Law drama And then randomly it'll be musical And then he gets raped in prison apparently Whoa! Yeah I don't know if it's musical For that part

But no laughing matter Yeah For a movie named Joker, I thought they'd be a little bit more culturally sensitive in their attempts at humor. Well, it's so different, though, because Todd Phillips, too, is like an anti-PC culture guy. Yeah. So he's like, yeah, we're going to have a rape musical scene in the new Joker movie. I don't care what the liberals say about it.

We're like, what? Why? I said, we're like what? Hey, I'm a left-leaning non-political guy. Yeah, he like, yeah, I don't know. I definitely do want to see it, but... What if it's like... We'll see the Joker 3

where it's like, the Joker goes to like Vegas. Yeah, just a fun. Like loses. It's like the hangover with the Joker Blowsdown. Yeah, and then it's like Todd Phillips back to his roots. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

I've only ever seen, I've only seen the first one and I only saw it once. But like doesn't it end, it ends with him like in Arkham, right? Yeah, yeah. And doesn't he like kill somebody like as he's running around? Yeah, yeah.

This is in the hangover. And so then they get, and they get, he wakes up her tattoo. It's just like, what? What? We also should have known because the hangover sequels were pretty shitty. So, like, that should have been, like, a kind of heads-up. This is going to kind of be a similar one.

Yeah, sequel. Oh, yeah, yeah. Sequels are so hard to nail. It seems like the second time he was forced to do, like, a sequel. Yeah. Like, it seemed like he didn't really want to do the hangover, too, because it's the same movie, but in Thailand. Right.

And then it seemed like he really didn't want to do this, but they threw him enough cash where he was like, I can't say no. Yeah. Yeah, but it was, like, such a movie that, like, there didn't need to be a sequel to. Of course not. That's what he was saying for like a year after it was made.

Oh, he's like, I'm not doing. Yeah, he was like, there's no fuck. Why would I make a sequel? Yeah, because the first of all, I thought it was a good movie. I'm never going to do that. But the thing was like, it's very funny to like also like, I love whenever a shitty movie comes out,

but weeks before your Facebook and Instagram is filled with ads. And it's always behind the scenes. He's like, I think this movie, it's just going to, when people see it, you'll know when you see it. Right. What I'm talking about. You guys probably don't even know. Your brains are so uneducated.

about this film. And then it comes out and this is the biggest piece of garbage. Like all I get is like Megalopolis things now. Dude, that clip of the

entitles me. Yes. So go back to the club. I heard her supposed to be funny. Is it? I think so. Yeah. That's also a great movie.

Just having a movie, Bombagic. I actually fucking comedy. Yeah, I think it's supposed to be like satire? Or that's what like some guy was telling me yesterday.

And then people were like, oh, it's so stupid. I'm like, yeah, because you don't get it. Well, I think... People were somewhat upset. We're not upset, but it's just like, I guess he's been...

Francis Fort Coppola has just, like, forever been like, this is my masterpiece. And then people watch it and they're like, you made the godfather, too. Like, this is awful. What are you talking about? Oh, it's made about the same guy I made the godfather?

Yeah, I'm pretty sure. It is like, yeah, well, the marketing behind that movie is just like, from the best director, who made the best... greatest movie of all time comes his magnum opus the culmination of his life's work. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

But he's also pushing that himself, I think. Well, he had to make it himself. No studio would make it. Because it's a dog shit movie. It's so bad. He literally put like 50 million of his own dollars to make the movie. And you saw it?

I have not seen it. You just called the trash, and you ever seen it. Well, I've heard that it's very, very bad. That's what I have heard of this. You made me question. You made me question myself. He's never even seen Donald Trump. Have you seen him in person?

That's a great answer. Oh, you're not going to vote for Trump? Have you ever seen it? You don't even know the guy. Yeah. Have you had a single conversation with him? Not at all. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

I've been trying to, that doesn't matter. I think you just did flagrant, which is awesome. He did? Yeah. It was actually like, like, pretty, I mean, they kind of, they didn't really push back on anything. Yeah, yeah. But it's the first time that I've really sat down and listened to like a long, winded version of him.

Because I don't watch like a speech or I don't see like any like press conferences or whatever but like I was like this is it was entertaining

I mean like these are all podcasts that are now like run by like millionaires. Yeah. It's like they're all like about protecting

their like wealth so they're gonna be like favoring Trump more right? But then you have like and they also Kamala went on call your dad

call her daddy yeah but before that podcast changed I really wish that it was real OG's like so Kamala So.

Do you like an uncirct or a cert guy? Yeah. You big dirty slut, com. I like, uh, comrade Kamala. I like sex from time to time. Growing up in a middle class family, we had sex. Sometimes, you know. Yeah.

Yeah, that's what she said. Uh, you see, the Tim Dillon thing, I wish they did that differently, too. I love to. I haven't watched it. Is it good? So it is, uh, it is good. But when they do? Uh, no, no, no.

Tim Dillon has a new show where he interviews people, But the thing that would have been really funny if they did, it's like a Mori-style show. But they have very funny situations like somebody's like, you know, mom finds out they did porn. Is it real, though? I think it's fake. You think it's fake.

But it was way funnier if Tim Dillon just had people's lives falling apart, like genuinely serious dramas. And then he's just like, dumb bitch. If he had actual security guards stopping women from fighting him, that would be the funniest thing on the planet. But it said it's like silly kind of situation. where it's like, oh, your boyfriend's,

your girlfriend's gonna find out you used to make porn. Or, you know, your mom says you have med dieting correctly. But it was like serious problems. And then he's just roasting them while their lives are falling apart. That would be so much fun. That's like what's funny about like Dr. Phil and stuff. Yeah, yeah. Where somebody comes on is just like, I don't have a penis anymore.

He's like, well, son, sometimes you just got to try really hard. You know? What are you talking about? I was, I didn't know my father. so it's a similar kind of situation. I never saw my father's penis, and so I don't even know if he happened. You're the man of the house.

You got to step up. He's funny. He's like a big border guy now, too. Is he really? Yeah, there's just all these like... Doctor Phil. There's like Dr. Phil border specials where it's like him being like,

gotta stop him go away. Dude. It was just a funny, I don't know. He's... I don't know, his expertise thing is really interesting because he used to be a guy that, like, comics would be like, this guy's a fucking idiot.

it. And then now he's like very ingrained into like that world. Well, I mean, he's a whole character. Yeah, it's like Adam. Like Adam Ray does. Yeah, yeah, yeah. A whole character based on him. Do you think, I've thought about this. Like, specifically with, with him. Like that. That the character's very funny.

I know, but it's just like it's become like his That's what I'm saying. Like it's famous and now he has to be that. So like if he goes out and like is headlining like a funny bone, like he goes like Pittsburgh and does like the Pittsburgh improv or something. Like do you, when he comes out and he's just like like, hey, I'm Adam Ray, I'd like to do some stand-up. How many people are just like, shut the fuck up and do Dr. Phil? You know what I mean? But he's doing

two, though. He's kind of doing this thing now where he'll do multiple characters. So he is, the other characters he's pushing and they're kind of getting a little bit. So now he's just like, he's a character guy. Yeah. Oh, that's right. He did. He did come out as like a grandma or something on Giltony or something. Yeah, that was the funniest. Yeah, that was Andrew

Ginsburg did it. And he like just thought that was Eddie Ift. Eddie I. No, no. Eddie Isard. Eddie Isard? Yeah, yeah. He's like a trans person. He's like, yeah, no. Eddie If heift. was, or Eddie was, like, roasting me. It was Adam Raydressed his old lady. But yeah, that seems like a prison. I mean, he seems to be doing very well

and it's getting him, but like, I would, that would suck. Yeah, maybe like... Just being an awesome. Oh, yeah, characters in Austin. Yeah, yeah. You have like a, like a Broadway show style costume. Sure. I'm sure he wants it. And I'm sure he can go out as himself if he wants.

But then again, I mean, that's whole, that's Dice. Like, Dice was just a persona for what's, like, David, whatever last name he has. I think it's Andrew Silverstein. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And that just became his whole thing. Yeah, I don't think you even break scared now. He became an Italian. No, yeah, he's just that guy, which is insane.

Yeah, that's kind of drive you a little crazy. Absolutely. Yeah, I wish I had like a dedication to any bit. Yeah, I had like some dedication, but it's like sometimes I'm like, yeah, this isn't really working on switch topics versus somebody's like, no, my whole life, I'm going to be an Italian guy who wears leather jackets and smoke cigarettes because that's funny. I'm also so vain that I'm like, no, if I make it, people are going to know, my name.

They're going to know who I am. Let's say about the other Michael Good. I get like a like, I'm like, no, no, I'm not changing my name. I know what happens. Dude, that is, I'm not going to lie. I know it really bothers you, but it is so funny to me. It is a other guy that there's like, two of you. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. It's hilarious. It only bothers me when he like, like. I am the one and only Michael Good. The definitive one. Anyone else named Michael Good is fucking gay and fat. That's what I always say.

And he's the host of Sesame Street, apparently. Well, it's like one of those things you were like... That's what the other Michael good sounds like. He's not. No, he's a nice guy. And he doesn't sound like that. No, no, no. I don't know why I'm.

He's a very nice guy. But it's like somebody like, there's like, like, he got like the New York Comedy Festival or something like that. So he was like, congratulations. I saw you on this thing. And it was like a thing I didn't get. So I had to be like, oh, no, that's the other. Oh, dude, I would just let it slide.

I'm just like, yeah, dude, go on thinking that. Yeah. Actually tell everybody that I did really well at the New York Comedy Festival. I have that happen to me, but like... With the no, suria deer? No, just like for any other Indian guy. Oh, yeah, that's kind of suck. Thank you.

Congratulations. Well, it's just like, hey, man, I really liked your set at comedians you should know. And I'll be like, are you thinking of Sonic? Yeah. What the phone? That guy is like much shorter than me. I really like your show The Patriot Act. Yeah.

Are you thinking of Hassan? Yeah. Hey, I really like 20. you freed it. You're thinking of Mahatma Gandhi? Not even a comic. Yeah. Like when people come up to you after shows and they're like, hey man, I love that bit.

Like, dude, I love that bit about cows and you're like, I don't have a cow bit. Like, they're just like, oh, I'm a person. Like, I'm barely, I don't know. Oh, some guy really tried to get me down the other day. He's like, yeah, I love that podcast clip about you talking about painting with your own come. Which, by the way, sounds like a podcast clip. Absolutely. For a second, I was like, when did I?

Okay, who is like you did so and so podcast. I don't know who that is. I'm like, huh, I guess I've gotten to the point of my career where I've done enough podcast that I forget about something. Yeah. And there's just a different guy wearing sunglasses. He's like, oh, I guess this isn't you. Oh, wow.

That's funny. Yeah. So now when are we going to paint with our own? Yeah, we should do that. Let's do it. Yeah, I am under utilizing it. I'm kind of just spraying into the toilet. Also, I feel like that'd be hard to paint.

Like, do you dye it different colors? Come? Yeah. How would you paint with your own? You know what, dude. I think you'd probably save it up. and then throw food dye in it, and you can probably,

yeah, you can probably really paint with your own gum, and that would probably sell for a decent amount if it's a dry, yeah, I mean, there's like, you know what,

though? Every guy says this, they're always like, I could be in a modern arm museum, but, you know, I'm just too lazy to do. I could fucking paint some things together. I could glue a couple tic tics,

do it to the Metropolitan Museum of ours. Why don't you do that if you can do that? Yeah, it's been so fucking easy. Yeah. There are women that, like, I think that,

like, they're like, this painting was done in my period blood. And I'm like, all right, dial it back a little bit. How much? Like, yeah. Come on.

What has to, it has to do with the struggle of you, right? So like a period blood thing would be like the oppression of woman. So a cum painting would have to be just me getting rejected at the Renaissance Fair. This represents the struggle of a man

trying to get pussy who does not get pussy. That would be really funny. Here's my, here's my picture. I drew it in my period blood and it's just like Winnie the Pooh. Yeah. He's got no pants.

somebody wears a t-shirt. Is that silly? Yeah, dude. He's really rebellious in that way. Oh, we are in an hour, though. What do you guys want to promote? Oh. I have, I do stand-up around here.

I'm also doing, I'm doing a bar show. It's not a bar show. It's a brewery show in Maryland. So if you live in Maryland, I have a baby. I have a baby. He's fucking adorable, so you can see that. Yeah, yeah.

But yeah, that's really, that's really all I have for right now. Does your baby have anything coming up? A birthday and a birthday. about like nine months. Okay. Yeah, that'll be his big first birthday. Has he said anything yet? No, my wife swears that he said like, hi, and I'm like, that's bullshit.

And she's like, yeah, I know, but I was just trying to make you jealous. Yeah. Because I was at work, and she was like, I'm going to make him think that he missed a big moment. But I didn't. Yeah. Yeah, nothing coming up. I'm actually moving. Oh, shit, that's right.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, I'm in Texas. So that should be fun. Tear it up. Teared up. I love us promoting life events as things coming up. Yeah. So you can catch me in Texas.

You can catch me in Texas. Yeah. I'm going home for Christmas. If you live in Cincinnati, you can see me there at Scullies, you know. Also, this is before the start. If your grandma is watching this is like news to her, she's like, yeah.

That's good. Fuck. David, he's confirmed. He's confirmed. David, Jean. It's a weird relationship. Yeah. Also, if you're listening this now, you know, this is coming from us before the hurricane.

We actually made alarmingly few hurricane comments. I know, right? It's on the TV. It's just gray. Whatever. It's kind of a bummer. Yeah. Yeah, I will say that. I was watching it today. And I'm like, yeah, people are going to lose a lot of money.

But for my job, I have to watch it. It's your job. I staff Venezuelan guys on construction sites. So there's going to be a lot of construction over there. So a lot of Venezuelans are needed. Hell yeah, dude. that's what's up. Yeah, so sorry the hurricane happened,

but not sorry to my fucking bank account. Amen, brother. I keep worrying. He's such a piece of shit. That's right. Maybe he's got a comment. All right, I think you,

bye.