Morning Good - Redneck Playboy Mansion - Episode 163

Episode Date: April 2, 2023

Jake Ricca and Captain Wright join the show for today's episode. They talk about friends who are too comfortable with guns, what high school is like now, and performing at the Sausage Castle in St. Cloud, Florida.Thanks to Captain Wright, fellow Winter Park High School graduate, for joining the show. Check out his and Jake Ricca's links down below for more.Captain Wright is on Instagram @captain.wright and has live comedy out on YouTube as well. Jake Ricca is on Instagram @jakericca and has a podcast with fellow Florida comic and former guest, Joe Censabella, called Cup of Jokes. If you're in Orlando, Florida, make sure you pop into Milk District Comedy too.As always, find Michael Good on Instagram @michael_good1125 and on Twitter @agoodmichaelThis podcast was produced by Paxton Fleming, you can find him on Instagram @yaboypax 

Thanks for the F Shack. Love dirty Mike and the boys. Hey, are you dirty Mike and the boys? How you know who we are? What's this? They called the podcast? Morning good? I love that.

Yeah, it's me with the boner on the front. Welcome to morning. I can do this. With Captain Wright? Hell yeah. Fucker. Got it right. And Jake Rick, a couple Orlando boys.

A couple. Ballin. Oh. That was a good shot. We're on fire. That shit. Dude, you, so we, what high school did you go to, by the way?

I went to Olympic Heights in South Florida. Olympic heights. Oh, okay. And this guy, me and me and Captain went to the same fucking high school. Winter Park, dude, wildcats. Rahr! That's the town we made every day. Start school.

We didn't do the fucking gay-ass Pledge of Allegiance. Then we went, rah. There was still one guy on a knee going, roar. Yeah. Wait, so, wait, he's in high school. Was there a pledge of allegiance? just like debate at your high school? Because like that's when I left high school

when all the like kneeling for the flag stuff happened. We just had a... We just got pussy. We had like reacting. We had like a segment of each class that was just reacting to body cam footage of cops. Oh really? That's crazy.

I happen in news crew like three times. The teacher just, I guess she just wouldn't want to teach. You know, I'll just play some crazy body cam footage and kids. Damn. This isn't right. Yeah.

It was pretty fun. Oh, your teacher played it. It wasn't you guys just doing it. Yeah, because she was just trying to be like, this is what's going on. world. And she's showing a bunch of fucking 17 year olds. The kids need to see this. Yeah. That's nuts, dude.

It's pretty funny. It was pretty good time. Because me and my friends are like, damn it sucks. Yeah, yeah. Of course, yeah. And there's probably one kid who's just like like camo hat in the back of the room. Like, I can't wait to be a top. You didn't see what he did before. They always show the bad part. Play the director's cut. The director's cut. The director's cut. It shows the whole thing.

Dude, every once we with this guy at a bar, this was fucking sick. So we, we, got he didn't he didn't murder anybody does not that would sound what I was saying uh we went to this fucking bar and we saw these guys playing uh what's it called um cornhole no uh air air hockey oh nice and they start yelling at each other and they're like dude if i lose i'll legit cut off my pinky don't get excited it didn't get that crazy uh but and i'm the one that talked them down which is so stupid i was sober and i was like wow these were random guys the bar is like probably

Marines. He wasn't even your friend? No, I should have Let him do it. Yeah, but instead I was like, all right, Pierce her nipple instead. Let's do that. Which I, I'm so, I'm so angry myself. I didn't watch a man cut his toe off because that would be fucking wild. That's crazy. It's such a fun story. Instead, it went to like weird nipple stuff. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. And they like wouldn't let all of us in there. By the way, this is a guy didn't know, and I'm

just in the tattoo parlor, like, Pierce's fucking nipple. All right. So, oh, we know, you guys left the bar and went to a tattoo bar. Yeah, yeah. But in between this, the guy was showing me that he goes, yeah, I was like, what do you do? He's like, I'm a bounty hunter. I was like, oh. You were talking to the dog? Yeah, yeah, yeah.

I'm the dog. And it's like you, I forget that's like a completely real thing. And, um, I mean, I don't, I don't know about that. Well, the whole, it is like a thing, right? It is a thing, but it's still like a made up thing. No, no, no. It's these cute little outfits. Yeah, it's fucking.

Yeah, they go out. They put like a fake little patch on that says bounty hunter. Yeah, they wear that fucking. Yeah, they wear that fucking. helmet from Mandalorian you know. Dude, but the video the guy showed me

was him breaking into somebody's house if you're screaming you see him kick a glass window. It's all POV. So it's like imagine a body can

but you're taking your own body can with your phone. So the guy's just running into somebody's house like kicking shit and he's like, get all the fucking crowd! He goes, dude,

I was so coked up during this and I'm like dude, this is weird. It's like first person like POV bounty hunter. Yeah, yeah. He was like there wasn't even a bounty on anyone's head

and it was just training. I think he just broke it. Yeah. I just gave a warm-ups and breaking into people's houses. Doing the fucking vigilante missions at Grand Theft Auto in real life. Well, it's, I don't understand it because, like, sometimes they don't even have, like, warrants on them or something. Yeah. And I'll see, like, videos of, like, these bounty hunters pulling people over.

I'm like, how does that work? Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's insane. If I saw some guy in, like, a Subaru try to pull me over, I'm going to be like, no. Yeah. Or it's going to be an F-150. Yeah. Yeah.

I've seen. There's no liberal bounty hunters. Dude, just a lesbian? That'll be bad ass a lesbian. Just fucking people up. Just, we need to defund the police to fund me. Yeah. To fundle his fist.

He gave me a motherfucking money. Yeah. They rob you while they're bounty hunting you? She quefs on you. Now show them. You have the right to... How dare you not pay your parking tickets on time. Pussy!

They brought in the big guns. It's Francine or whatever. Frantzian. What's the fuck her name? Arlene. Branty sounds like a lesbian name. I don't know. Yeah.

But. Or Bernice. That's a good one. So you were watching innocent people get murdered on TV. Basically. Every time something would happen, like in the news, it would be like, oh. Because you're 19, right?

Yeah. So much shit. Dude, Pete COVID, you were in high school. Yeah. That's fucking nuts. So fun. Great time. Dude, just being on Zoom class was the best.

Like, because I have. a friend who lives in Texas and he had Zoom classes. So he'd give us all the code to his classes and me and all my friends were just going and fuck with the classes. Dude, that's fucking awesome. He would send us like the roster of kids in the class and we'd just make

all of our names like other kids in the class. Oh, dude, that's fucking rules. So the teacher just had to figure out like who the right Iris Gonzalez is. Dude, that's incredible. The best one is we had this one kid I think, I figure out of a school he went to. but he popped up and he just

as soon as this thing pops up it's him just taking a hit of a bong and there's a girl named Iris Gonzalez so he made his name Isis Gonzalez his peak it was great yeah it's fun COVID that's fucking crazy Was it your senior year that COVID? No no that would have sucked it I think it was like

junior oh so wait I'm just realizing your time about this all happened to resume yeah oh my god speed so you straight up you guys were Zoom bombing as a whole. Yeah. There's people that have careers now. Oh, ICE is always buying.

Oh, I says, yeah. St. Moses' bossy. Yeah. He says, Godzolling. Bro, fucking Zoom bombing became careers

for people on YouTube. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Well, because, like, we, this is the same friend group that was, like, really into prank calls for us. So we're like, oh, this is just a step above prank calls, you know? Yeah, yeah.

FaceTime prank calls. Yeah. Did you guys have, like, a, how do we probably didn't get, because my girlfriend. That's bad. I was talking about my sister. I tell they called my sister my girlfriend. we've all done it before

when in Rome by Florida my sister she like her senior year was it sucked she didn't get do senior prom or anything like that your senior year

was kind of just like whatever but it was only like half the year because we live in Florida yeah yeah yeah yeah so there's only have some kids are like still doing it

the last couple years because you had that thing we're like I saw a video of Rhonda Santas going to like some high school he's in a lot of he's like other states they can't play football

you guys get the blood. I mean, I'm over exaggerating it. But he's like, just banging on lock, because he's like, you get to play, because we're fucking free. We're, who. The one where, I think it was in Tampa, the one where he was like, at some school speaking, he turns around, I was like, guys, take off these fucking masks.

You guys gay? It's just these, like, clearly virgin kids are like, take all the basket. The news said we're all going to die. The news is gay. The only time you should use a mask is to dab your mouth after eating pussy like it's a napkin. Like a man, man, man. That's how you do it.

It's like, this is a new bill we're passing. It's pussy eating less. Fucking ninnies. I was talking about the last episode. It's always the same thing with these bills that go in. I always see a really liberal person on Facebook post. They're like, oh, Trump is trying to murder Brad Queens.

And then you see the, or not Trump, like some southern, like, legislation guy or politicians. And then you read the bill, and it still is homophobic, but it's very specific. It's like, you know, last time I had, to make the joke like, it's like, it's like, drag queens can't play basketball with children or something that you're like, that is homophobic, but it's weird. It's, dude, I, this is so fun you're saying this because I literally wanted to make a TikTok last night. It was someone doing that. It was like someone with their face, they're talking and the bill is behind them. And it was like super homophobic bill. And I wanted to duet it. And I like write, I like write a fake bill that just says, new bill, evil bill. evil's now legal I'm like, this is the most fucked up bill

I can't believe they're passing this The evil bill Yeah, yeah But it's so funny because like I never know when it's serious or not Like there's a bill where they're literally gonna shoot babies in the face And I'm like yeah, I'm sure there is

But like I paid so little I could be right They'll probably coop that bill in with like Oh, we'll stop polluting the ocean Plus being trans is illegal Wait, what? What am I voting for? Yeah, yeah, yeah

This is why I'm out completely Don't drop it in I'd be like yeah We'll stop polluting the ocean You have to have sex with me You voted for it dude Line up guys What is it pro monoccus

When like That's a big word dude You got to explain that It's crazy In England Harry Potter house I've seen a I saw Braveheart

And it was like the The king or the royals They get to like fuck your wife On her wedding night Dude nice Oh that makes sense But I said a bit about like They did invite

It just came to your house just fucked your wife. That's a step up, because America used to have a law of, like, you would have to, like, court her soldiers, right? Yeah, yeah. They were like, no, we're going to court your wife. Yeah, yeah.

Yeah, could Obama not fuck, it's not because he's black. He's bigger. He's bigger. No one in afterwards. It's going to be... Nothing to do with it. Yeah, that was so...

Yeah, he was just looking for his birth certificate in there. That's all the whole thing. This is my wife's pussy, apparently. I have no idea. Your wife's pussy? Your wife's pussy's good. Oh, I think I bombed the wrong hole. Yeah, what was that?

Didn't he bomb like a Yemen wedding? Something. He bombed the wrong city. And everyone just like, oh, Baba. Yeah. I've always said this. I think the funniest would be like if you saw a POV from a Jones strike and they're doing the cha-cha slide or something like that. And the guy's like, oh, man, they're just like us.

We're like, do it all right? Do it all right? We're not so different. You and I. Oh, they're dead. Oh, fuck. Oh, my God. Jesus, right. What do they do? Well, one of them was, like, part of a meeting.

Yeah. Oh. Thank God we got him. Dude, I used to have a... I used to have a friend that every day this guy would call me. He always go, I'm going to murder the president. And I was like, you can't say that. Yeah, you're not allowed to. I'm going to murder the president of Barack Obama.

Like, you can't say that. Jesus Christ. It was once every time he answered the phone, he'd be like, hey, what's that man? I'm going to murder the president. I'm like, dude, stop doing this. You're putting us on a list. Yeah, yeah. That's a funny...

I would expect that for Trump. No, no Obama. That's a funny voicemail, like, thing to leave yours or voicemail. It's like, hey, sorry, I didn't get your call, but I'm going to kill the present. If you don't answer, I'm going to do it. But, like, wait, so I'm trying to think what teachers. Is Coach Russell still there? Yes, Coach Russell's still there, dude.

I had a weird experience of then where I tried to ask out the woman in the front desk. So there's this woman in the front desk, and I walked up my last day of high school. And I was like, I'm going to be, actually, I was returning my book, so I already graduated. And I was like, all right, I'm going to try to be adult and hit on this woman. the front. And I was like, hey, how's it going? She's like, fine. And I was like, great start. And then I was, she's like, fine. And I was like, I was like, what's your name? She's like, Mrs. Arnold. I was like, what's your real

name? And she goes, you don't get to know that. I was like, well, you want to go out sometimes? She goes, absolutely not. I go, well, here's my phone number. I'm just going to leave it here. And she goes, you should pick that up right now. And then where Coach Russell just standing there and just mean mugged me. And he's like, that's my bitch. No, he didn't say that. But yeah. Coach Rolls is a big black dude. He does not talk about that.

He was black, dude. Did he like you? I got on Instagram. I sent of a selfie right now, dude. He doesn't remember me. Oh, fuck. I was one of those guys. I was never into the getting tight with teachers.

Because there's always those people that were tight with teachers. So, and so is the coolest. I never got. Yeah. Russell was pretty cool. Did you play a lot of sports? No, I did wrestling in high school. He's a wrestling guy.

He is a, oh, now he is. Yeah. He wasn't when I was there. So usually it's like you get tight with the people I knew that were tight with the teachers. They were either like in student council or they were playing a sport. Yeah. That's a good one. It's like, well, usually one of those two.

Or they just like, they're a kid that people were trying to keep an eye on. It's like, he doesn't really have friends. So they, like, are nicer to them. Yeah, yeah. There's usually one of those three. Get tight with the teacher. I always found the teachers that like to talk.

So I'd get tight with them. Because if you get them on like a rant, they'll go the whole class. Yeah. So we don't have to do anything. Oh, I was like, oh, what's your craziest story, Mr. Johnson? And he'll fucking go. He was like, well, I went to a fish guy. He was like, oh, there's actually people from Miss Christ in college.

And he'll fucking go. I believe it or not I used to have hair back then Funny right guys Wait did you do you have Mr. Flood No I don't have Mr. Flood He's a ninth grade center You do the ninth grade center

Yeah yeah yeah the ninth grade's like divided For the rest of the campus Do they still have trailers for the special needs kids Yeah yeah of course they do Why can't they put them in the building I'm still trying to figure this out The contamination purposes There's a comic in our scene

Dude how funny would that be if somebody goes in With like a hazmatz here to teach the special needs Look I'm not trying to get any drool on me I don't need any chromosomes a lot John over here. There's a comic in the scene that teaches them. Oh, at Winter Park?

Yeah, Alex Fancy. Yeah, he's fucking teaches him. Does he have bits about it? Oh, yeah. No, he doesn't have bits about really anything. He's not going to fucking listen to this podcast, dude. He just wears crocs and cat shirts. Yeah, I think he's

one of them that just escaped. Oh, actually, I've been to teacher this whole time, huh? I guess. Yeah. Oh, yeah. Like, Gilles' They went one of them play? Yeah.

They went one of them coach? I feel like they overtook the room and they like stuffed the teacher's body somewhere and then he just wore the jacket and it's like, yeah, that's me, it's me. Yeah, because also there's a very forgettable teachers, especially if they're teaching special needs. They're like just out off campus basically.

Yeah, I'll see them just kind of touring the campus every now and then I'm like, all right. We had a girl in my, I can't remember the class. It was like a bullshit class. It was like, it was an elective, easy as fuck. we had a younger teacher who was cool as fuck and he was straight up hitting on this girl nice and this chick had six toes on each foot

Whoa What? Yeah I vague I 100% That is an incest thing Because I looked it up I used to think like Down syndrome's incest That's not incest No it's just

But shit like that that's like jeans I just it was the reason like looking back And I know he was hitting on her He was like me He was like flirting and making fun of her Because she was wearing sandals He just really got six fucking six toes down there. You fucking climb trees with those things?

I was like, yo, this is the coolest teacher I've ever met my fucking life. That's incredible. You're trying to climb this tree, you guys? He was straight up. He definitely could have made a move. I could have.

That's fucked up that she wore sandals, dude. If I had... No, she was cool about it, though. She wasn't like, stop talking about him. She was like, look at him. Yeah. You know what I mean? Like, she's front page of...

Dude, I bet you have. Yeah, they fucking blessed. No, dude. Yeah. I'm telling you from... You're a foot guy? Yeah. I'm telling you, if it's fucked up, she's blocked.

Really? Blocked. The big B word, dude. She's gone. Really? So you like the perfect... It's got to be perfect, clean, nice, soft. Because, oh, some guys, the other way.

Some guys, like, dirty. Yeah, yeah. It's a spec trim, dude. It's a... I'm telling you. Yeah, yeah. Dude, the dwarf thing is huge now. The what?

It's big. Chicks. People are really... I've seen them on Instagram a lot. Like, a lot of meme pages. The fucking... The mids will, like, pay them to promote. And they'll, every now and then a meme page will, like, post the sexy image.

Dude, there's propaganda trying to get us to bang little people. It's true. I'm telling you, it's fucking. Biden's up there. It's like, yeah. It's Biden's America. He's like, the economy, people won't be able to eat. And then they won't grow.

So it's all related, man. It's all related. It's fucked up. Yeah. Have you ever fucked feet? Yeah. Nice. Dude, I respect that shit so much.

It's nice. I haven't. bro, if I'm looking at a video and she bust the dogs out and start playing with your wiener with feet, I'm changing the video. It's like, it's more of an aesthetic feet. Oh, there you're saying. She pulls puppies out. No, no, no. I'm into that.

Yeah. But the feet thing, dog. Like, I've literally like, looked at it. I'm like, oh, this girl is exactly what I would want to have sex with. Click the video. It's going well. I'm like, I'm about to do it. And then, no, no, it's just a dude the whole time.

But then the feet come out. And I'm like, oh, God, fucking next. Real? I can't do it, dude. I like socks are hot. Like, growing socks are wearing socks. But at some point, I'm like, this is a hurting, not hurting my dick, but this isn't feel right. Oh, no, no, I was talking about, oh no.

I was talking about what we're wearing socks during sec? Yeah. And you're like, yeah, fucking socks. No, I was talking about wearing socks during sex. Or like in a porno. You're talking about fucking socks. Yeah, no, it's not to look at us. I was thinking about, like, getting like a foot job with socks.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's weird. It's weird. Like, where do you come? Do you come, like, uh, on the feet? I haven't came from it. I've just like done it. It seems like it could be good.

It seems like they can really mush the pressure, and that would feel good. You know what I mean? Like a nice mushy one? It's the same as a hand job, if not really? Or a boob job. Now, chimpanzee foot job, that would be next level. Would be fucking monstrous too.

Oh my God. That'd be lethal. Do you tearing your dick off? Dude, those things are strong. That would be a very funny person getting caught having sex. I'm not getting a foot job from a chip. You're like, I don't know if they were.

technically abused. I don't think you'll get AIDS from that, though. No, no, no. That's the whole story. Not the ones I'm fucking with. You will. They're crazy. Wait, so you fuck Phoebe, you never, okay, that makes sense. Yeah, it's not like a, because, you know, are you a foot in the mouth guy? Yeah,

I'm not in, like, in the mouth that's like crazy, but I'll, like, kiss. Kiss, and I'll suck on a toe or two. Sucking toes, dog, okay. But I'm not just shoving a foot in my mouth. I'm not a monster. I like where you draw the line. Yeah, it's going to. Yeah, it's, I'm a, I'm a, I'm a gentleman.

Yeah, yeah. Have you read somebody to be disgusted by? Because I'll talk about, like, I am. Yeah, me. Yeah, I'm disgusted by. I've had a girl that, like, oh, my ex, she wasn't into it at all. Yeah, but that's really? She'd be like, stop.

Oh, really? Yeah. And I was like, you bitch. You're evil. Yeah. You, you're bad. Yeah, that's crazy. Yeah, I guess so.

But people weirdly talk real shit on foot people. They do. Because it's like, dude, I don't know there's like, fucking furries out there. Yeah, it's crazy. Yeah, yeah. It's like, what's wrong with furries? A lot.

Okay, yeah, they got problems. What about a furry feet? Does that turn you on? Those are paws. Yeah, it's not, yeah, no, it's just, I don't know, people are just in the crazy shit. Like, I, do you publicly,

like, does the beach get you more horny? Because there's not to be there, no? Because it's just, like, a dirty feet. Because it's got to be, like, a casual, I mean, a sexual setting. Yeah, yeah. It's not like, if I see a girl wearing flip-lops, I'm gonna, like,

cream. Yeah, well, there's also things that in porn look hot Like, dude, I'll be honest, I jerked off to fart porn for a little bit I was like that's right. Really? What the fuck? Yeah, yeah, yeah. By the way, it's my first time admitting it on the air, I'll be honest, I'm a little nervous, some blushing a little bit. Well, you're like, oh, I have a fucking foot guy, they can't judge me, fart porn.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, I'll say that out loud of people and they're like, yeah, whatever, and they'll be like, yeah, then foot porn, you're like, that's disgusting. And I'm like, farting is grosser than feet. Farting is crazy. How does fart porn even work? So, however, I was, I was a kid, and I was watching it, and the girl accidentally farted when the dude pulled his duke down. And I was like, yep, all right, that's hot. Isn't that a clue? I was like, God damn.

I was like, I was like, I know I don't know a lot. But I know this isn't normal and I know I like it. Is it, is it Brazilian? It's part of their culture. I'm not here to shame it. No, no, no. It is, it started in Brazil. It's an art form.

That's so crazy. That's the origin. That they claim that. They're proud enough to claim that. That's our port. The sticks. We here there. The farts.

We did the fart form. But that's something in real life. I don't like in porn it's hot real life now. Yeah. Yeah. Dude, there's some girl like farted. But it's weird because then if an ugly girl farts in porn, I'm like, that's disgusting. But it has to be like a hot girl farting specifically because like you're not supposed to be doing that. You freak. Yeah.

And then like somebody who's mildly, I'm like, that's just get your farts and get out of here. But that's pretty awesome. Yeah. That's a, that's a free spirit right there. Yeah, yeah. I'm trying to be more open in this podcast, you know. That's good. You got to.

I'm also racist. No, I'm just kidding. I feel so comfortable. Yeah, let me really get into it. There's a lot of things I've been wanting to say. Yes, because I used to watch a lot of like POV humiliation when the girls are talking mean to you.

Like, you're fucking small dick loser, but some of those turn racist and the girls starts calling you the N-word and you're like, whoa, I think this is not for me. And the dick and the video's white. And you know, like, what's going on here? Yeah. There's a lot of black dudes that are into it. For real, man, that's fucked up.

I've never watched any weird category of porn for the most part, but I've definitely... That sounded like a lie. I swear. I'm literally trying to think. You never dabbled in like hentai or anything? Never know.

But when I was a, I tried to, I literally tried it once because when I was a kid, my, this is a weird story, but my buddy got, basically we were playing football and my buddy and his girlfriend,

they're white, and we were going over to our black friend's house we play football with, and they're watching porn. And his girlfriend goes and he goes, oh my God, it's black! And like, she yelled.

Nice. And I was like, oh, fuck, I've never watched black porn before either. Yeah. And then I went home and I watched it and jerked off. I jerked off to,

every race. And I still... Yeah, I have, yeah. I've, like, made a point to, like, I gotta see what I want, you know? Yeah, yeah, yeah. So you were watching, like, two Mexicans do it. No, it's going as far as he's like...

No, yeah. Two Eskimos. I've literally watched... Nowadays, it's like, I gotta have interracial. I got to be able to insert myself. Yeah, I can't watch a porn with a black guy because, like, you can't put yourself. Yeah, exactly.

Black girl, all about it. But my guy, I'm like, it's not my wean. You know what it is, too? Honestly, it's like, I'm really, weird, but like, I watch a porno where the guy is kind of fat with an average dick, and I'm like, I see myself here. Like, I can't watch porn where the dude's too yoked. Because I'm like,

yeah, yoke dick is, I'm just like, what's going on? This is fake. This isn't... Yeah, where does a dick stop? It, like, goes up into their abdomen. Yeah, that, dude, that's just crazy. You think you could pull it, and then their abs would just fall off like a sheet. But it also goes the other way. It goes the other way for me, too. Like, if it's like a real fat

fucking slob, like, I'm just like, ah, it's too, it's too on par. But I've seen, like, it's like a fat old guy fucking this... The blue pill guys? I don't even know. There's literally, like, seen... I think they might be taking advantage of these old guys.

They look like they don't know what's going on. Because if you first... You click on the video, you're like, oh, shit. This is like a 19-year-old girl banging old guys. This feels kind of creepy and gross. And then the old guy's like, oh, man, this is... Grandpa.

Are you sure that's not a camera? Yeah. He doesn't know. He's being killed. Oh, it's fucked up. Come on, Grandpa. We'll get you some potatoes afterwards. I've been baited in

some of those videos. They'll have like really hot, like, fucking Spanish chick or, like, Asian chicken. I click the video and it's just like some old, like I'm talking about 60-year-old fat white dude. He wants to be in the video. He's like, what's up, guys? He's just fucking, I'm like, whoa.

I watched the porn once with a porn star I really liked at the time. and it made me uncomfortable because the guy kept hitting on her during the video oh dude that's the word

he was like he was like maybe we could do this again sometimes she did I said she dead ass says like oh maybe because she just wants to film the video and leave she doesn't want to like fucking talk to this guy

yeah it was so funny you know like me yeah I laughed he was like maybe yeah it's amazing it shows him just driving down the road later just yeah she likes Can you tell the porn trading card story on here?

It's cool. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Dude, I don't fucking care. Oh, can you talk a little bit of the mic, by the way? What? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. This story you were told me earlier. So, yeah.

So in middle school, we, uh, a bunch of, it wasn't like my friend group. It was like just the broad. Glenridge Middle, by the way. Glendridge Middle, by the way. Just a big group of guys. Like, all the guys in the grade were like in the same friend group. So it was a huge, it was like 100 people. And this was right when everyone started to become like sexual.

and stuff. So these guys Not me, bro. I was eating pussy fucking four years old, bro. I walked out and you straight.

It's a go-go guy, guy. Give me some pussy. Go-goo. Give me that pussy. Yeah, so these guys started to get

news from these ladies. And of course, you know, they show your fellows the goods you got. But then they took a little extreme and they're like,

hey, someone, some genius, mad scientist, middle school was like, hey, wouldn't it be funny if we made

trading cards and printed these out? Oh my God. Yeah, exactly. It was fucking horrible. So they started mass producing these news.

Mass producing. They're outsourcing the bugger. We got these kids in Asia. They bring them out. Building child porn guards. We all put together our allowance. We got a good thing going here. The wolf of child porn street.

Fucking. Do you any holographic tinnies, dude? Yeah. I pulled a good one. once. It never left Glenridge. So these didn't go anywhere beyond. You say that, but somebody's dad. Just fucking for sure. Yeah. But yeah

and of course, kids got caught. So the principal it was like a huge bust and the principal had these kids and I remember like one of these kids telling me they're like yeah, the principal literally said like yeah, you can get me in trouble because I have to keep these now.

And it's like, what? You don't have to keep those. Yeah. When you're in middle school, it sounds fucking hilarious, but looking back on it, you were just mass-producing child porn on this fucking Pokemon cards. Are you sure this guy didn't start it? He's like, yo, which tells one of your friends, like, wouldn't it be crazy

if you guys started like printing these out? Yeah. No way. That's fine. I'll have to confiscate those. But I won't tell, I won't get you in trouble this time. I trust you. Yeah. And let you make, like, why are they framed?

He's like, that's the evidence locker. He has, like, a picture of his wife and it's just like, It's on the desk It's evidence It's evidence Why is the story? You can't do that Yeah

But it was fucking It was crazy It was a terrible Somebody by way One of my friends Had that idea In middle school And we thought we were gonna be like

Millionaires We're like What about not with adults We're like We're like we're like we're gonna be You know every idea you have It's like Genoven idea

You're like I'm gonna make millions of dollars Yeah Somebody told me this It has to be fake somebody told me that there was a high school where this girl got caught because she sent a video of her fingering herself that went around the school and somebody's like yeah

and then they had the parents come in and they made the parents watch the video and I was like I don't think that's a real story. That's really fucked up. They would not make the parents watch that. Yeah, yeah, yeah. They're like to identify that it's their daughter. Are you sure this is your daughter? Stop looking away! I'm the police. Look at me!

What is that, Batman? Look at me. That's insane. Look at me. Yeah, dude, that man, that camera fucked everything up. You know what I mean? I mean, it's like, yeah. Yeah, yeah. I mean, my mom got my dickpigs through the ICloud.

Well, Snapchat. Your mom saw your dickfix? Yeah. Dude. And terrible text messages. Oh, really? It's a disaster. I've accidentally pulled up my phone before and like, someone's just seen my dick.

And I was like, you got caught in the fapening? Yeah. You caught yourself? It was me, Jennifer Lawrence. Yeah. That'd be so funny. Nice. He just thumbs up.

That's like Catnus Everdeen's pussy. Oh, that's so sick. She has some, didn't she have one where she was like, did somebody jizzed on her face or something? Or was that somebody else? I don't know. Hillary Duff, I have the respect for it. Hillary Duff, there's a video of her blowing a dude on a surfboard. That is so cool.

In the ocean? I remember it this way. Can you, do somebody pull this up? Actually, I don't know. You know, Jamie, pull that up. I'm gonna go pee. Jamie, pull up Hillary Duff blowing guy on surfboard. Are you going to peer or you're going to go jerk off some Hillary?

I'm going to pee and I might jerk off that. Yeah, can you look that up? Yeah, can you look that up. Hillary Duff, Bull. I'm really hoping they're surfing. thing because that is just impressive dude could you imagine being like Lizzie McGuire sucking my dick in

Maui right now how was your weekend Lizzie McGuire sucked my dick what was the Lizzie McGuire I don't remember was there a theme song to it I couldn't even tell you it was kind of black or it was a cartoon right I just know she went to Paris

hold on how do I look this up Hillary Duff's surfboard Blowjob I don't want this in my search story just kidding Oh, wow. Hillary Duff proposal and below job pictures. Yeah, like her...

Whoa. Proposed to her and then she blew him on a surfboard. Seleb Jihad. That doesn't sound safe. No, that's the one. I could be wrong with it. This could be Twitter, though. I trust Twitter more.

Yeah. Oh, no, it was on a... I was wrong. It's on like a balcony. You're all happy he looks. Yeah. Well, he's getting his dick suck. Yeah, yeah.

TMZ is just like invading their houses. Yeah, TMZ is just like, oh my God, they're having sex in their bed. Thank God. we have our cameras. Yeah, yeah, yeah. What the fuck you guys do it? That's just so funny with their like,

this guy flips out on reporters. They have the camera like an inch away from his face. It's like, dude, no, there's one. No, no,

what you say? My favorite freak out on press that deserved it was Toby McGuire. He's like trying to just drive. And there's like 17 fucking paparazzi surrounding him with lights. That must have been a light day if Toby McGuire's your big camera for the, yeah. Well, this is like back when he was super famous. Yeah.

But they're literally shining. lighting lights and taking pictures and flashing him in the face. And he opens up the door. And he's like, I can't see. Get the fuck out of the way. He's screaming. He's at him. Yeah, he went full venom. He just starts ripping and he closed up. He started to do the little jazz dance. Did he hit her in that movie? I don't remember. Or he like pushes her or something?

I don't know if he did, but he should have. You've changed, Peter. I think he did. I think he accidentally, like, threw her to the ground while he was like, he was like arguing with like the guy she was talking to. and then she went to be like Peter and he went like that and threw her on accident and that was like one of his moments where he realized he's gone too far

Yeah potentially He could be wrong This is a bunch of nerd shit Yeah wait what was the complex Fuck you What was cool when you were in high school Like last week? What was the what was the

Who was the coolest guy? Because I was the coolest guy In my high school Was the dude, a fat dude who Had a tooth that he could take out of his mouth And he just got so much pussy He gave everybody herpes are you serious?

Yes, dude He had herpes in high school? Yes, that's terrifying That's so fucking cool That's pretty sick Dude, he fucking And then there was another Like it was like the cool guys

In my high school Like just a fat guy He just didn't give a shit Wow There was some dude who had like A heroin problem And he didn't wear shoes To school one day

And people were like The girls wanted to fuck this dude So bad That's fucked up Dude he literally He shows up to Winter Park He's like I have shoes

And then they're like You gotta have shoes And he ducks taped Carboard to his fucking And walks in Oh my God Yeah Yeah we had a

So it was in tears all the friend groups my friend group were like the tier two's yeah yeah we showed up to a party we're still good and you know

we're all having yeah but I was not the top of my high school there was cool yeah yeah yeah there's for sure there's the tier ones and we'd address them

as the tier ones I think the fact that we made this tier system made us the tier two yeah of course yeah it's so fucking lame yeah it was pretty lame um

it was just like you know the basic fucking like you know lacrosse players and shit yeah yeah just like I don't know if that's I don't know if that's the thing

ever, but Winter Park, La Crosse was like really well respected. La Crosse is the thing, yeah. But were we even that good lacrosse? I have no fucking clue. Yeah. We're terrible wrestling. No, girls don't think wrestling suck. No, I don't think any... It's disgusting. I don't know. I couldn't tell you a single guy on the wrestling team. Yeah, yeah. Like, oh, they still suck. Like, oh, they're usually at the parties. LaCross guys are at the parties, football guys.

Not wrestling guys. Baseball guys, they got a weird morality to him sometimes. Like, I have a friend who's like a comic-y, play baseball. He's like weirdly Christian. Yeah. And there's the thing, too, with... So there's something about a guy who has his front of his hat build too far down. Like his eyes are almost covered. There's something that's too wholesome about him. And he's just like, I only play baseball

for the Lord. They're all Hicks. Yeah, yeah. I'm here for the long haul. I'm trying to go to league one day. Yeah. But they're not like Kenny Powers, guys. Like, I like that kind of. Yeah. Kenny Powers is my fucking idol. Oh, yeah, that's awesome. And there are rednecks like that. They're like, I don't give a shit. I do fucking pills.

And you're like, yeah. But then there's the side that's like, no, I shouldn't have sex before marriage because they're a fucking nerd. Yeah. They're like, they're like, like, yeah, they're like, they'll have like a truck parked in the parking lot with like a ton of political stickers. Like, dude, you're 17 years.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay, so that's still, because we had dad a lot where it's like, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, it's like, come on, man. Do people still, I mean, I still knew people that had, like, Confederate flag stuff. And was that a thing? It's probably, oh, of course, dude.

Yeah, yeah. Now that it became like a thing, kids would just do it to piss other kids off. Right. So, yeah. I knew a black guy who rock Confederate flagstuff, which is pretty fun. That's pretty cool.

Like, two school? Uh, I'm not, mixing it. Where people because I never happened. So I know there was a girl. I knew one guy I've seen wearing it. And then my girlfriend knew a guy who'd wear like at her high school, like a belt buckle like America or like a

Confederate flag, which it looks it looks so fucking cool. It does look as an image. It looks very cool. Yeah. Because it looks like you're saying ex-American, like fuck America. Like he kind of... That's kind of what it was. It was the Confederacy. They were trying to secede. There's a funny joke in the Cleveland show that it's like redneck neighbors

flying the flag. He's mad. He's like, what do you mean? It's my Duke's a hazard flag. That's the flag that they is in the top of the car. I used that my, because my car broke down and my brother has a Florida flag on his truck. The Florida guy looks too much. Yeah, it's so similar.

It's pretty scary. I had at least three black comics come up to me like, hey, what's going on? I was like, it means Florida, dude. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That comes from a Spanish flag. It's a totally different thing. The Florida flags come from a Spanish show.

But it's funny that it's white too, so it could be like, oh, my ultra-confir. Yeah, yeah. I don't even like that. I don't even want it to be ran. It's the base Confederate Florida.

I'm a super confederate. When DeSantis, because the president goes, we're making that one red. We gotta fit in. But, uh, actually, that's still a thing. What are the, uh,

are there like, uh, we had the weird, you guys have those, uh, scene kids with like the, nah, that's hair folded over the side.

But it's mostly like, that, that kind of crossed wires somehow with like anime. That makes, Yeah, I think I caught the tail end of that. Yeah. Yeah, weaboos probably took that spot.

Yeah, weaboos definitely took it. Just like weird. Like past geeky kids. Because, like, my whole friend group all, like, played video games and shit. But these kids, like, their whole life was fucking video games. The music they listened to is like video game soundtrack music. Yeah, it's like, what's wrong? That was just racist.

No, that's spot on, dude. It was good. I'm sorry, I will only hear K-pop once. Yeah. Yeah. I had a, my issue was my, and. In high school, my closest friends in my high school, all used to play football and wrestle, and they all quit. And all they did was just smoke weed and play video games, which was like my favorite thing to do.

But I was still playing football. So they were just like, they were just like, dude, come on, just quit. Yeah. That's cool. Join us. I'd never quit. How bad did you want to? Dude, I remember like, fucking.

I didn't want it. I loved football. But I was like, these are my friends. God, you guys make quitting sound so fun. Yeah. But I never quit. Yeah, because I did football in middle school and I fucking sucked out. I remember when I fucking didn't do it after that, I was like,

dang God. I mean, sports are sure your kids don't do drugs because I got into drugs because I was bad at sports. Oh, I got into drugs with most people. I got high with most people on my team. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, a lot of my sports friends are banging on drugs. It's crazy. All my friends are like super into sports.

I've never really played a sport. But like my friend group never like was big enough drugs. It's mostly just like get really drunk and rowdy. Like, we're just so much property damage, dude, it was bad. Oh, I like, which one thing you broke, I mean. Oh, go, no, go, go. Just house. There's a vandalize houses and shit.

Like, it started off with T-Ping. Like, that's pretty funny. That's standard procedure. Then it was like a hammer to their windows. Then we'd cheese people's cars, which is really fun. It's like, and like the, before everyone wakes up what you do, or if you know someone's going to be away from their car for a while, you put like a ton of American singles on it.

So when the sun comes out, it just melts. Oh, that's. awesome. That was good. That's fucked. Just throwing stuff. Do you have a trash can tip? No, I know what that is.

It's not the thing where you're driving and you grab the trash can. You drive really fast and you throw the trash can. Yes, that's part of it. We used to just, we would fucking just, honestly, my friend had a shitty car. And we would just go 20, 30 miles an hour and just fucking drill trash cans. And then we did it so much that they started hiding in behind their mailboxes. That's awesome. So, we had four kids in the car, including the driver, and we each grabbed the trash can out the window.

Yeah. And we drove them to another neighborhood, and we're throwing garbage cans and bowling with them. It's so horrible. I know if you grab them and, like, the wheels are, and you grab by that thing, and you start just dry, you gun it. And then you can just throw them and they just launch. They go so far. Yeah, we haven't done that, but we do that tonight. I should look, yeah.

Dude, that was some of my favorite memories. We're just trash can tipping. Dude, I might start hanging out with, like, maybe not high schoolers, but, like, dude, I want to go out with your friends. Because my friends are all getting lame. We had a friend group crossover the other night. I was at this, you know, Fiddler's Green. Yeah, dude, that's like, that's like my, when I'm in town, that's where I go. Yeah, yeah, dude, we were all there, and then everyone walked in from comedy, and it was good.

I felt really good. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's the best with two groups. And you're like, ah, wow. I was getting lectured by some fucking freshman in college. Like, yeah, Cole's pretty old. Yeah, dude. That's so funny.

dude yeah we uh we have this game we play there it's uh every time we order a drink the glass you get it and you have to keep oh yeah and then just drink as much as you can so just fucking kids will be like like 10 shot glasses so many people steal from that place because they got such cool glasses and shit yeah yeah it took every we took the kerosene lamps on the table it was bad this is like last week too this was literally last week that's why it's easy to sneak into because now they have the fire the smoking patio where you've got to just sneak in there.

Yeah, I just use an ID to get in there. Yeah, yeah. Because they have a guy walking around now. So you got to, you get your fake? It's in the other room. I'll get it. Yeah, I want to see it, yeah. Did you ever do a fake?

No. I never did. I always bounce in the park. No, yeah, I bring beer everywhere. Iowa, let's see. Fulton Street. 12-509 Fulton Street, right? This is somebody else's, right?

Yeah. Yeah, that's a good movie. You get one that looks like you. Yeah, nice. That's great. Yeah, it's worked everywhere. It scans, too. Oh, that was a big thing.

I didn't know it scanned? No, I never had, I always bounced, so they just kind of let me drink at the bars. Oh, yeah. Dude, I, I didn't know it scanned, and I went to, you know, our arcade monsters? I was there. I was trying to get a drink there once. And I thought I was like, oh, I'm going to just look at it. And she takes it and she takes it, she grabs this machine.

I was like, fuck. Like, I'm screwed. And then she scanned it and went green. And I was like, oh, it's great. I almost got a fake ID taken away Because like I remember my buddy used to make them And I didn't realize that they're kind of easy to make Like we could probably make fake IDs

Yeah But I didn't realize it's that easy And this guy made them for us And we're going to see Ice Cube Downtown by the way We're we're We got fake IDs to see the Ice Cube concert Did you do?

We're three white guys We're wearing like I was like let me look older So I'm gonna wear a white I was so fucking delusional I'm wearing a white I thought that just because I was confident enough that I could just fit in with an ice cube concert.

Yeah, I'll sing every word to all these songs. Dude, I get it. 16-year-old me, 100 would have said every single word. Yeah, I would have definitely. But while wearing a, like, Ralph Lauren button down, like salmon khakis and, like, spary shoes. Oh, man. That is like the least old.

100%. Yeah, but I was like, I don't know, the black kids in my high school let me say. You're just that stupid. You're like, yeah, this will be fine. Yeah.

And my buddy got his fake ID taken away, like at the door, because they pull out, they pull out like a book and they have like every state because you used to be a bouncer. Yeah, we honestly did not give a fuck when we were,

we were bouncing because a lot of the bouncer's were like 20, 21. Yeah, yeah, you know what I mean? So they were just like, you can't drink in here. Yeah, where did you bounce at?

I used to bounce at fucking lib, pub, dude. You ever go to this place? My buddy, my buddy kicked out. My buddy kicked out Tony Welland. Oh, that's awesome, dude.

Dude, I want to go just get fucked up with the UCF bars because, like, we went to high school with. Tomorrow. Yeah, yeah. Dude, I'm in, I'm in Tallahassee. I'll be getting fucked up with those bars, but... Oh, you go to pots and the strip? Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Was it one called, is it recess? Yeah, recess, the rooftop line. Yeah. Dude, Knight's Library was great. One of my friends got a fucking knife pulled on him, and he pulled out like an old, I think it was like a revolutionary war gun that he had on a fucking guy. that's so sick what the fuck rules

that's so sick oh my god he puts gun powder in it yeah he's a muscle fuck you up it's fucking insane

dude yeah that's awesome yeah it's um do you have a do you have a gun heavy friend group group guy I had friends always had guts and I was always the guy

that was like this is how people die I would say that like every week I'd be like this is how my one friend he would have his fucking

dude we were coming for like a baseball game he had an AR 15 I think he bought it like a gun show insane. He was like 18. No, I think he used a fake ID to buy the gun.

That's fucking. And then... Look at scans. Yeah. Buy-bye high school cafeteria. Oh, my God. He fucking... Dude, he's the kind of guy that, like, you'd be like, don't do that.

And he'd be like, all right, I'm gonna fucking do it. And he literally turns down Paramore. Like, which is, but people don't know. It's like, I don't know what it still is now. But, like, when I was in high school, Paramore, like, the roughest street in Orlando's like that or it's yeah you don't go over yeah yeah dude it's like it's like 10 p.m and he's just holding his gun outside the car window like it's a cigarette what a fucking and he's just like hey what's up just and we're like dude fucking go let's get the fuck yeah i've seen him shoot a sign with it

that's crazy that's fucking yeah i'm not not i've never had friends that like i chill with that just had guns constantly but i have had like a couple bouncers that they were like they are super gun heavy like someone leaned on their truck one night and they went out and they were like get off my truck and like they said it like kind of like a dick and they're like bro chill the fuck out he goes really goes into his car and grabs his gun

it's just like it fucking points it at him and it's just like so crazy what the fuck bro this kid's like 20 yeah what are you doing when you're a trained fighter like me you don't need a fucking gun that's what's that dude your body is a weapon dude for real I'll kung fu the shit out of a motherfucker dude I don't fuck I've never do you guys

and do you guys own guns at all or no no I don't think uh I don't think Are you allowed to in New York? No. I don't have a lot yet. I thought about it one time because in my college apartment, I walked downstairs and there was this woman getting held by this man who looked like a pimp. And she was crying and he was holding her by her like wrists. And I was like, what's going on here?

I was kind of scared. I was really nervous. And then the guy ran away. And then I was like, I wish I had it. And like the next week I was like, I'm going to get a gun. That's right. So I could just be like, hey, step away from the lady. Yeah, that's cool.

But then I realized like I talked to my brother about it. He was like really into guns. he's like, you should never point a gun unless you're planning to shoot them. Yeah, like there's no. You should never pull it out to fuck around. It's like you take that out with the intent to shoot it. Otherwise,

don't take it out. Yeah. Like that should be your word. Sort of years. You were being a pimping. No, I walked into a subway once. I was like,

the line's really long. I need to buy a gun. Yeah. I was like, this is crazy. I want my tuna fish. Yeah. Living by my,

do you have roommates? No, I live my girlfriend, yeah. Oh, yeah. I don't know. Living by myself, I should have a gun.

Yeah. I feel it's smart to do that. There's times I hear noises that night and I'm like, the fuck was that. Especially downtown, dude, yeah. Yeah. To be fair about homeless people just knock at my door and ask me for money before. That's crazy.

You know, they even sing a song? Shoot him in the face. Yeah. Don't even open the door just through the fucking door. I had a homeless guy. And it's like nighttime too. Yeah.

And you go, excuse me, sir. I was just like, bro, what are you doing? Yeah. I need five more dollars so I can buy shoes so I can work at Publix. And I was like, I'm going. I'm gonna hang up. There's, there's no way

they're interviewing you at publics. They're like, look, you need shoes. You seem great, but if you can find your pair of shoes, then you're it. The smell is fine.

Everything's fine. The human shit in your pants? You don't need some fucking non-slicks, dude. Don't worry about those. Yeah. I was just like, we just need some non-slicks on you, bud.

And we'll get you working. I'm a pretty big guy, and this wasn't even like a big homeless guy. Yeah. But I was still like flustered. I was like, what the fuck? Like,

do I need to like watch my back right now? Yeah. Yeah, yeah. I could imagine, like, look behind you. But I was thinking if I had a gun, I would have shot so much nonsense. Like, I hear, like, cracks in my apartment. Yeah, like, p, p, p, p, p, p, p, p, p, p, p, p, p, yeah. But he has so many funny videos of him just shooting it when he shouldn't be.

He's a video of him fucking fishing. It's him and his buddy on the boat, and his buddy looks, his buddy's, like, doing something, and not paying attention. And he just goes, oh, shit a gator! I'm sorry, shoots, like, five times into the water. His buddy's like, what the fuck? I thought it's a hot gator. Dude, I have a friend that went hunting with his like,

he hung up this guy who's like from the streets, like this hood-ass dude. Yeah. And he brought a gun out and like was shooting, like trying to shoot the fish. Yeah. And then this guy was so hard in my high school and be like, this guy's fucking like, don't fuck with this guy.

And then one time they're like, and give it up for the special needs basketball team. And we saw the guy there and I were always looking at you. They were like, wait, has this guy been mentally challenged? And he has guns? Yeah, yeah, he's like... Oh, God. It's like, sometimes that can be overlooked.

Yeah. Somebody's so cool, you're like, nah. Like, I have a friend who's like slightly autistic, but he's a bro, so you don't even know. He's like, yo, what's up, dude? How's it going? You're like, oh, man, he's... Yeah, but you don't realize you're like, oh, he's...

So, man, how's it going? He's like, oh, I'm just watching a train video. You know, fucking... No, we're comics. We have so many friends who have autism. Yeah, yeah. There's an autistic doing the show tonight. Was there?

Which one? Yeah, he has bits about it. All of them. We don't even know which one. Yeah. No, I can definitely see myself being autistic. But I think it's overused too much now. Like everybody says over.

So many people self-diagnose that shit, no? Yeah, yeah. Go on TikTok and be like, they'll self-diagnosis like OCD, depressed, gay, whatever they got. Self-diagnosis is gay. Doctor, I think I'm gay, okay. No, no, no. I think you really need to take a look at it. We need a test test theory.

Yeah, takes his dick out. We're going to put you in the gay machine and see for gay. The doctor just licks his fingers sticks in your head Does that feel good? Yeah, you feel pretty gay in here Yeah, yeah The method's a little old

But it's trad and true Oh my god Did you have I'm trying to think Teacher-wise Who's the principal? Fucking Some pussy

Let's talk shit about all this Arnold dude I like that you just got out You got out like a year ago Let's just talk shit on everybody Who's the worst teacher there? I'll talk shit about everyone Dude

We had this I have this one I think she quit I think she got pregnant fucking quit. Dumbage. Spanish teacher, dude. She was a black woman.

Not even a Spanish woman. She was a black woman Spanish teacher. All right, all right. Now I'm gonna step back on us shooting on her. All right. No, I'm just kidding.

But no, but she would make us all, like 18 year olds would make us all sit on the rug and sing songs. Oh, yeah, one of those. And I was like, dude, if we weren't singing, she'd stop the song,

but captain's not singing. Oh, really? We're all gonna stop until he decides to sing. Was it? You know, sometimes... That's wack. Even as an adult,

I hate when people, uh, like treat people like children. They're like, we're gonna start... It's really condescending. It was, it's so crazy.

Yeah. And it was, uh... By the way, that wasn't that bad at all. He's like, she made a sit in the room and sing.

I was like, yeah, but then she, like, failed everyone. Everyone, like, failed.

It was just a... That's whack. We had a teacher that was so fucking cool and gave everyone A's in the class and, like, the test were so easy, completely open book.

Yeah. No one gave a fuck, but it was an AP class, like a college class where you had to take a standardized, like, college exam after. Everyone failed it. Everyone failed it. He was the coolest teacher ever. I felt like I was doing a set every time I was in his class. I was just saying the most outlandish shit possible to try to fucking make fun of people. Oh, that's what was the best.

I got pants in that class and I wasn't even upset. No, dude. It was the teacher. It was just bare ass. See, like, it was a half pants. Okay, let me explain. It was one of those tests where you walk up and you turn the test in yourself. I walked up and then my buddy having me walking up behind me, I put my, no, no, I'm sorry,

he was in front of me. He put his test down and then I'm going to put mine down. He walks around, pulls down my pants like just my ass and goes, good hustle and slaps my ass. Oh, my God. That's good. He's brother of the whole class. Wow. And I have a giant hairy man's ass.

Yeah. And I'm 16. And the teacher just looks at him, he just shakes his head. He didn't do a fucking thing. Yeah, that's crazy. It was awesome. That was beautiful. Yeah, we had a, my senior year English class was fucking, uh, it's hysterical because

he said to us at the beginning of he was like, hey, all I really care about is a presentation. So we were going to have like a ton of presentations during this class. But he was like a really chill teacher. So we just fuck around every presentation. Like I remember we read the book, The Glass, Castle. And every time I'd write in the presentation, the Glass Castle, I'd like make it seem like the G and the L got fucked up. So just say Ass Castle. So my guys, I'm so sorry. I don't know how this happened. The Microsoft XL got fucked up. I'm so sorry. It's just Ass Castle everywhere. That sounds awesome. I'm going to take this bitch to the ass castle.

Think of that. You've been to the sausage castle. Yeah, like three times. Yeah. Yeah, this is like, by the way, listeners know, this is where I want to fucking go. Oh, for real? You talk about the sausage castle on this spot? Dude, yes. Because, like, I, the only clips I've seen of it is this girl I know from high school, as I said, she's overdosed twice on heroin, but she's cool. She'll fit right in. Yeah, yeah.

No, no, I'm kidding. They're cool over there. No, yeah, she seems cool. I don't know, she's like, uh, she, I remember in high school, she was that kind of kid that, like, she walked in and she had one of those, like, uh, rave bras. She would just wear it to get ridden up just to show out a sexy outfit on the first day of school. Wow. Like, it was like, you could see full under poop, like nothing.

Whoa. Yeah, that's why I knew I was in the wrong math class because she was not the smartest. Like I sat in the math class and I went to the wrong building And there's this one dude, this like white dude And he goes up and the math class first day, it's like we're 16 And they're like, I want you guys to write a little pamphlet about yourself. That's the project for today.

And I was like, oh, this seems like a little slow for math. And then she gets up there and like, it has her tits basically hanging out. And I was like, okay, she's okay, I mean, I Okay, whatever. The next of this guy goes up, he goes, yo, I made a little. a fucking pamphlet. He's white guy. I'm doing a voice but he's a white guy. And he's like, Hey yo, motherfucker. He's like, yo,

I drew fucking dollars on here because what I'm all about is making fucking money. And then they're like, okay, very good, very good. Eric, sit down now. And then I was like, yeah, I guess I'm completely wrong mad class. But anyways, Zachar went to the sausage castle. And people who don't know, it's Mike Busey's place, right? Yeah.

He's not related to Gary Bucy. I thought he was. He's not? I thought he was like his brother, but apparently he's not. I thought he was like his son's like nephew or something. I could be wrong about this. But anyways, it's like a redneck, uh, fucking, uh, what's it called?

Playboy Mansion. Yeah. It's just, what was your first experience there? First experience is I'm like a year, almost two years in the comedy. And, um, my buddy who like does the booking over there and does like a lot of their social

media and stuff, he sees me, like we become friends and he books me on their show. I think it might have been, uh, either like a new year show, something. And we're performing.

I would drop by way. I just saying I would drop everything in my life to get into this. We're doing stand-up there, and it's right before, I'm sorry, right after us, it's a wrestling match. Like a backyard wrestling match. Like, right before it's at the level of, like, there's W. W.W.E. and then this. Yeah, yeah. And they have, like, the legit ring from, like, the actual, like, WrestleMania, like, one of the OG ones, like, the real ring.

And they're doing, about I have wrestling fucking, like, 100, 200 people surrounding. What part of Florida is in, by the way? St. Claude. It's the same cloud. And they have us in this little corner where the wrestlers would come out and we just one by one walk out and do stand up.

And no one gives a fuck. Yeah. They're just ready to see wrestling. And the photographer... Did anybody kill? No one, no. No one did well. Dude, I'll fucking bomb just to be there.

I don't care. The second time I went back to it, they were more paying attention. And it was a really good time. The first time, though, the photographer walks out. He's a dude who's just butt naked, swinging dick,

taking pictures of us. Oh, my God. And there's just girls like fucking showing their titties all over the place, dancing. There's people just like, like, motorboating. And like, and then we're just trying to do stand-up during that. That's a bunch of like mediocre, like newer comics. Like, some of the, a lot of the comics on the show are really good. But like, we were brand new at the time.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. So they're just getting really mid-material while there's dicks and pussies out around. Yeah. What are they going to pay attention to? You're like, so Uber, isn't it crazy? And they're like, yeah, there's literally a man's penis right next to my face. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. So it was like. like a fucking five to ten minutes of just like really having the tough through it so you can hang out for an awesome party. Yeah. And what was that party like? Parts. Was there a dwarf there?

I think there's dwarfs there. It's any, any influencer that you could think of that like when I went there, what's it called? Who's a scozy bear? Like the really fat dude? Gucci main? Yeah, yeah. I know who you're talking about. He gets kicked in the nuts a lot.

Yeah. Him and Long Neck were there. That's so funny. Oh, dude. I think somebody told me about Long Neck being. Yeah. Who I was talking to do was there. there, like I say his name, but he's like, talking about Lonneck.

And he's like, wasn't a... He was like, don't you think of these people are just having here just to make fun? And he's like, nah, man. They're like, one of the comics we were when said that. Yeah, yeah, he's like, nah, man, everybody likes me. It's like, yeah, your neck is just as long as shit. They just called him out. But it's just a house full of strippers, a bunch of people getting fucked up, having a good time.

And then every, just celebrities will just pop in like that. Yeah. And you're just like, talk about... I don't know if they're celebrities. For following eyes that are on them, everyone, if I say, I said their name and you go, oh, I know him. Yeah.

Chocolate rain guy. Yeah. Chocolate rain. Yeah. The Ginghers don't have souls guy. The racist Joker guy shows up. Yeah. The Burger King crown guy from the plane.

Get her off the plane. The Asian guy that got dragged off American Airlines. Yeah. What those things are in the brain? I'm doing an act on of all these. people. Yeah, that's fucking wild. But it's a good time.

And there's a lot of, like, a lot of people you meet there, you'd be able to Google them and then watch them have sex on camera after. Wow. Yeah, that's just straight up like only fans' chicks. See, I'm less there for a horny purposes. I just want to see, like, a wild party. Yeah, exactly. That's the place to go.

And talk about somebody with crazy guns. Like, I've seen videos that guy just, AR-15. Yeah, he is crazy. Oh, his room is fucking coded. His podcast. If you watch the podcast, the whole background is just, a wall of guns. Yeah.

Did he, what's his story? Did he grow up in Florida? I assume. Hopefully. That was good. What? The noise that just came into.

I was trying to, I'm trying to not like burp. Burp. And it came out the other hand. I got the hiccups, dude. I heard that. I felt it. You know what?

You did a little too, didn't you? I didn't fart, no. Tutty, two to make fart. You'd be farting all night out there, though, I promise. Nice. Remember before I knew that, bro?

Remember before when you were like, you were like, it smells like fart. I was like, dude, he must have crop Crop dusted us That was totally me Yeah

It was you The farted a day Why are you showing up You think I was gonna cancel The podcast To be like yeah It was really fun night But then Jake shit his pants

Dude I had to feel like That I farted I thought I think I almost lost A friendship He was like What the fuck man That's not a good friend Dude that's fucked up

I only had one friend Get really annoyed by far I got the hiccups bad dog Someone punch me In the dick I'll have someone Scare you

I got that homeless guy That knocked on your door I'm bad Jake. No, yeah, but. He's like staring at him. He's done? No, no, we're not done.

No, no. I thought you were looking at me, like, you done hiccuping and fucking, fuck. Oh, yeah. I got fucking steam in me, dude. Yeah. And cream. So who's the coolest guy at your eyes? I like, I'm still going to be.

And cream. Oh, man, dude, I feel like, they're not going to fucking see this. There's, so there's kids that we'd, like, ironically, make cool in our heads. Yeah. Because they'd be like the cool kids. Oh, yeah, they're the fucking cool kids. But that can build into a real career. Yeah, yeah, for sure.

There's always that guy's like, look at this guy wearing the fucking anime hat. Yeah. Oh, he actually's like, step off, pussy. Well, not even that. They were genuinely cool, but like, yeah, you're the coolest guy. We're like, look at their snaps chats and they'll say like gay things. Like, yo, Mel's on a bender. And we're like, dude, Mel's on a bender right now.

Just being dicks, basically. friends older brothers like that. Like, he'll condescendingly joke with you. He'll be like, good train over here, having a good time. I'm like, you know what? It's so funny that I'll let you just make fun of me to my face. It's the best. There's this one kid here, the comedy.

I love him to death. Emery. Oh, my God. Incredible. Emery wears the dumbest fucking outfits of all time. But he'll pull up and I'm like, that's a good outfit. Emery.

And he's like, what are you doing? What are you doing right now? You're like the seventh dude to comment on my fucking outfit. He sounds like one of the three stooges. He'll be wear like a, what's that brand? Who wear, like, fucking golf pants and then, like, a really bright fluorescent polo. There's something weird. We're like, what the fuck you wear?

He's, he's a white guy with, like, a really punchable face, but he's a chain that just has Africa on it. He says Africa? Dude, that's just the continent of Africa. Oh, it's like, actually. Yeah, it's just the shape of Africa. That's blacker than the words Africa. It's a continent of Africa. He's so funny. He's a character, man.

That's crazy. He wears the fucking, like, I almost got a shirt that said it. Afrikan, not Afrikan. That's pretty good. But I was, like, it would be funny if I wore this one time. I'm not actually going to seriously wear it as a white guy. Yeah. Yeah, he'll just wear dumb shit.

And I'm like, dude, Emery, that's a good outfit. You look fires hell tonight. You're trying to get some bitches tonight, Emery? And he's like, what are you talking about? He would always roll up, though, with, like, seven girls. Sometimes. They're always his co-workers. And then he'll, like, dude, he'll roll up with, like, seven girls.

and then just talk to some fat bitch across the bar. And I'm like, Emory, what's going on? Speaking of fat bitches, I recently completely changed my perspective on Lizzo. No way. Yeah. This is,

I thought about as long and heart. This just hit me to CBS. For a second, I was like, he's always the coolest guy. I always love fat dudes to get a lot of pussy. Because you ever see,

like some muscular guy getting a pussy, not muscular, but like, a guy with abs getting a pussy. You're like, whatever. You're an abs guy getting pussy. It's kind of lame. You're like, who cares.

But you see a fat guy getting pussy, like the sausage castle guy. Yeah. That's cool. You see Big Texas getting in. You're like, oh, right. You're like, that's cool. So Lizzo, I used to think she, I was like, whatever.

I like her music, but I was like, her fan base is annoying. And I'm like, she's literally a fat woman who's probably banging just gorgeous, man. Oh, yeah. And I'm like, that's very cool. It took me a second to realize I'm like, she's probably getting railed by like, pens on the dudes. Bro, she's fucking, like, top tiered dick. And then she's like, I don't give a shit.

I'm going to eat fucking garbage all day. That's, that's baller. Hit it from the back while eat McDonald's. whatever. Some shit, bro. Yeah, that's cool. It took me so long to realize, like, I was just at CVS and her music was playing. I'm like, that's very cool. I don't know. I just hate the confidence that a lot of bigger women have.

It's not even like a joke. They haven't, dude. Tell me, have you guys ever, like, I haven't had this happen, but of course, this is like just a thing. She's like, I know you're trying to hit on me. You're like, I was just reaching for somebody over here. I'm eating right now. Who knows? You try to hit on a girl at a bar,

and their fat friend comes. comes in. Like the audacity. I've been in a relationship for a while, but I do remember that. Yeah, yeah. They're always cock blocking. Always. Yeah.

They're always just like, you're having a great time with their friend. They walk him and they're like, play socks. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Or this happens to live a lot. This happens it live. Yep. They let a lot of them in there.

They should. They have it. They should. Step on the scale. Get off the scale. Yeah, but then like they wear the craziest outfits. Yeah, that there, I will say, I do agree. Lizzo has done this thing where, like, women that are like super fat will wear the slutty's clothes.

And I'm like, come on. Why are you doing this? I'm trying to have a good time tonight. Like, I'm trying to have a good time. I'm trying to have to throw up in my mouth. Yeah. But it's like, it's also one of those things, too, it's like, as a guy, like, it's like, I understand that as a guy with a gut, yeah, I can't be wearing like a mesh tank top.

Like, it's like ridiculous. Yeah. I do. I'm wearing black and it's a little bit loose now. Yeah. I'm not trying to like really fucking wear like tight shirts. There are hot that way. No, yeah.

But it's also like. But they know. They know how to. They know the. Yeah, yeah. It's like sometimes they'll wear things that like don't look. Yeah. It's like you're not working with what you have.

And like yeah. It'll be like a crop top and like booty shorts. And I'm like, you just look horrible. You're not even trying to make it look good. Yeah. You just went on sheen and typed in as many X's as you could. Yeah, and bought it But I also saw the whale

So now I have more appreciation for fat news That's the one where the guy does fat face, right? Yeah, he has been deputing the whale It's fucking insanely offensive Wait, really? Those Austin Power movies, fat bastard? Fuck, you're right? The gentrifying, the gentrifying fat people

I cried in the whale, dude, it was a beautiful... I didn't see it. I was eating like an ice cream sandwich while watching it It's about like a... I just talked about this on my other pot It's about like a gay guy that his partner dies and he lets himself go, right? Yeah. It's something like that.

It's beautiful, dude. I cried so fucking much. For real? Yeah. Like, I'll, I cry probably six times in that movie. I can't watch dramatic movies. I can't watch gay fatties. I can't watch gay fatties.

How about they just call it gay faddy. Yeah, I'm watching the opposite. That was real close to another word. I was like, whoa. I'm watching probably the opposite of that this Sunday, the new John Wick movie. Exactly. It's a good movie. It's so good.

Have you watched all three? Yeah. I haven't seen any of them. Of course, I've watched all three. I haven't seen any of them. I've always kind of not really liked Keanu Reeves, which I know it's like a crime in society now. Yeah, whatever. But I also get really dushy when everybody starts like, he's like, like, I hate Pedro Pascal because everybody likes him.

Oh, Pedro Pascal. It's, it's dumb. Last of Us, Mandalorian. Oh, I guess. Get sex to your mom. Yep. Oh, fuck that guy. Yeah, he sucks, right?

Okay. Yeah, he does suck. He got us ice cream that one time, though. Oh, yeah, that was pretty awesome. It's cool. Thanks, Pedro Pascal. Yeah, but I don't know actors that well, but I don't know. The second I see somebody on like a TikTok and they're like, oh my God, this person's daddy.

I'm like, I hurt him. It's his moment. Fuck him. The John Wick movies could be anyone acting in them and I'm like, this is awesome. It just stimulates me. I hate watching a John Wick movie with someone who's like, this isn't even realistic. Shut the fuck up. Yeah, shut your fucking mouth and enjoy this.

He just killed like 400 people. People are like that. Yeah. He just 1V8, a bunch of people from China. with swords. And you think you're mad because he fell off a bridge or something? And they're the best of using swords. They are, dude. Yeah, they're childhood. Yeah. Chopsticks are

training for swords. I yeah. It's a small wooden swords for sushi, dude. Yeah, they're used to discipline children. That's what... Really? Yeah, it's to teach you discipline at a young age. Chopsticks? Are you serious? They don't give up at anything. Because you learn, you have to learn

how to... Yeah, it's really, and it's a kind of fucked up. If you think about it, like, I need to do a discipline. And we're over here like, oh, have a fork, have fun. Eat your butter. Do you remember, I remember arguing by my parents about why I should do drugs in high school? I was like, I was like, literally mushrooms aren't even that bad for you. Yeah. Joe Rogan in a study. Look how successful he is. But pull up neutropics right now, Mom. Jamie, pull up neutropics. I need alpha brain. You're fucking holding me back, mom. Mom, it's called Jock Go.

It makes you go. I need my go juice. Dude, we were a such piece shit. I remember one of my friends, he's like, dude, my mom's such a con. She threw up my bong. You're like, dude, your mom's a bitch.

That's so reasonable. Yeah. But I thought his mom was like crying to me because she's like, he dug through the trash to get his bonged. He has a serious problem. Who does that? I was like, I don't know.

Maybe somebody's spent $400 on a fucking bong. Yeah, maybe I'm broke and threw away my piece. Yeah, yeah. My fucking peace, mom. Yeah. That generation's weird with drugs. It sucks. I remember my first sales job.

This is like Joe Rogan was, there was the Joe Rogan experience was out. But it wasn't like, it's nowhere near what it is now. By the way, I hate saying his name because of how attached it is. Like, I can never say, no matter what the information was, if I heard that there was a national crisis, I can't be like I heard on Joe Rogan. Because now immediately, that's coded by so many opinions. You know what I mean? Yeah, everyone just kind of just like, oh, you listen to Joe. Shut up.

You probably watched a clip this week, bitch. Yeah, yeah, yeah. He's fucking everywhere. But, um, what was I going to say? Fuck you, bitch. This is like, when I was, like, right before and, like, right when I was, like, just getting into stand-up, I brought up, like, a clip from Joe Rogan and someone who's, like, he's like, he's like, oh, you know, you know, me that guy that does fucking mushrooms.

Yeah, yeah, listen to that fucking loser. Yeah. It's like, okay. That's such a funny stance. I was like, bro, I'm 23. We're working the same job, idiot. What the fuck do you now? That guy who takes mushrooms?

Like, that's so funny. Yeah, that perspective is so holy. Because there's like, there's always that guy who, like, works like Miller's hardware. He's like, I never smoked pot a day in my life because you know who smokes pot? Losers. Yeah. You don't have a real. He's like, I still drink about 15 beers, beat the shit out of my wife every night.

But I've never touched that devil's letters. Man, I ain't going to hell. I'm going to hang out with Jesus at my $3.95 an hour job. Dude, if you don't do drugs and you're still a loser, it's like, come on. Yeah. What's the point? At least do drugs, man. Give yourself an excuse.

That's why I like all my coworkers and Einstein's because all of them are like under, except the manager, but he's about to leave. Everyone's under like 24 years old. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So it's just a bunch of fucking teens. We're like, you know, we could still have a life. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But that's the age you're supposed to have that job because it's a shitty job, you know?

Yeah. Like, you're not like, oh, I can't wait till one day. I'm going to grow up and run this Einstein's. But no, you're supposed to take a shitty job, do it while you're doing the shit you care about. And then you fucking can either grow with comedy or, all right, I'm a fucking... I'm a fucking... Yeah, I could revolutionize Einstein's.

I was like, dude, if we just were able to play rap music in here, we'd have a whole new fucking demographic in here. Dude, if I could smoke black amounts in the back. We don't need to buy food. We have food here. Yeah. Just pay rent. We eat for free and drink for free.

Like, everything is just free there. Yeah. Yeah. It's so fun. I used to do it with Rita's. That's why I'm fat. It's Italianized. Oh, fuck.

Oh, Rita. I remember. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, it's like a Jeremiah's. Yeah. Yeah. sorry at Jeremiah's and give all my friends free shit. Jeremiah's weird.

They'd hire really attractive women, but like... They're 14, yeah. Right? Isn't it fucking... It's weird. Jeremiah's ICE hires hot kids. Because I'm not saying this as an adult. They're like, you need yellow fucking spanks. And you're like, what the fuck? Dude, every hot girl in my high school worked at Jeremiah's.

And I'm like, you guys are 15. That's wild. That's so weird. Yeah. We should stop. Jeremiah's ice cream. You guys are fucking pedophiles. I'm a little bust right now. If you work in Jeremiah, At the same time, like, you have one girl that's actually of age, because we've had this happen.

We've got one girl is of age. She went to work at a wing house. Yeah, which is basically just hooters. Yeah. And then the same time, you still judge them, but for the opposite. You're like, you fucking slut. I don't remember being like that. We were like, yeah, what a stuff you got to work out here?

She's like, we're a freak. Then we had a girl starting an only fan. And she's like, she's throwing her life away, dude, this fucking bitch. Really? Yeah. She's making more than, like, everyone else's going to school. Yeah, well, she's in the, the top like maybe 99%

for, she's not even too good a home I know a dude comic, we know a dude comic who does only fans Oh, we do I know, I know, I know like two or three, which one you're referring to? Oh yeah, yeah, I know that dude I'm about to throw down to watch this dude fuck I'm so curious, I know that dude, dude, I'm so curious

Yeah, there's a video of anybody I know fucking Like it's like, because it's like, if it's a woman, I don't, I have a girlfriend I just, I don't want to pay for only fans, I'm like Yeah, if it's a dude, I'm paying. Yeah, I'm like, that's a dude, I'm paying. Yeah, I'm like, that's, that's, Babe. Dude, it's easy. Watch my dude get pussy.

I remember, I don't know if you were there, Jake, but we all read his bio his hysterical. We laughed very hard. The OnlyFans bio? I do BG or B5. Yeah. Oh, nice. I have to look that up.

I haven't read it. My buddy, Chris Rinaloa has one, but it's like for stand-up. You know about that? They're trying to do OnlyFans TV. And OnlyFans, like, produced like a little of many special for them. Yeah. They're doing, that's so sick because they can go for it. Yeah.

Yeah. That's a great idea. Dude, I bet you would the best. comedy movie they could release on OnlyFans. That would be fucking sick. Yeah. Dude, because it's like, I've always thought this, like, they ain't, like, comedy was going such a crazy direction until they took it back.

I was like, they should have a fucking comedy where you see somebody, I don't know, keep getting shed on or something. Like, that would be funny. Yeah, like the G.G. Allen of comedy. Yeah, dude, that has to be created. You're just peeing on a guy. Yeah, yeah. Yeah.

Dude, imagine being in a movie theater. Just like, and two girls, one cup comes on? You're like, whoa! Have you fucking wild. I'm four. I'm very, like, I don't know what the, a very Gigi out. I'm like,

let's fucking push the art for him. Yeah. Someone did, I think it was a guy out of Austin just released a special where it's like,

it's called from across the bar and it's just a bar like a bunch of people sitting down a bar and he's at the end of the bar doing the jokes. I gotta respect. Which is pretty,

I didn't see it, but I just heard people talk about it. Is it on YouTube? I think so. I don't promote other people's content here. We're gonna believe that out. We're gonna believe that. I don't even know who it was.

Just someone. Keep the Jeremiah's. pedophile rant, but bleep that. Yeah, yeah, yeah, Jeremiah's, you guys are... Dude, that's a funny conspiracy theory, Jeremiah's pedophile rang. Dude, I'm telling you, I'm gonna start feeding that to my Q and on friends. You know what I hear? You guys...

QAnon friends? Just like friends there, just a good group of friends right there. I don't have any like that far as you guys meet. Not that I want to know. Q&ON. Dude, I heard my buddy who's the one who I said earlier, you know, he gets bust a lot of pedophiles. Oh, you didn't say this in the pot.

He has a pedophile hunter of run. Yeah, well, he doesn't go or like beat up with these people. He just goes into the chat rooms and kind of makes YouTube videos. Like, like, exposed. So he's doing nothing for society. Well, no, like, it'll be someone who's like a game developer. And he'll, like, expose that, like, shit like that. It's very fun.

Damn. But apparently found out that the owner of Fun Spot. Is it a petto? What? Yeah, fun spot. What was he pretending to be? When we say Petto, that's a wide range. Is this like, is he pretending to be a 17-year-old?

Check up. Is he trying to be? a 17 year old girl or is he like I'm 13? No, so he'll go in like a furry chat room and it became a 13, 14 year old boy who's just getting into furry stuff. My family isn't. And those people just try to haze him and like, you know, do all that cool stuff. Wait, so he pretends to be a boy. Yeah, it's like a whole group they have and they'll share like a account on like Twitter, Discord or something.

Oh, but he's talking to other children. No. So how is he a pedophile? No. Wait, who is a pedophile? The fun spot guy. Oh, that's a different thing. Okay.

But yeah, but yeah. Yeah, we make something. Everyone's a pedophile. That, if you run fun, by the way, it's probably slander or libel or something like that.

But if you're running a fun spot, dude, that is just a, that's a pedophile factory. That is. A factory? Well, that shit goes down behind the go cards,

if you know what I mean. Yeah. The smell of gasoline gets me horn. yeah they use like the oldest most fucked up golf carts i mean go carts there like it's the old kind we're like oh you want to go on the go go carts all right oh yeah yeah you would think they would electrify the motherfuckers by this i went on a 3d ride there you put on VR goggles and you ride a roller coaster i'd fucking and it felt like somebody's pulling my pants down during it maybe i'm just kidding yeah my

clenched up thank god yeah dude i would throw up that whole time oh i love you're not a roller coaster guy? I still, I get sick on roller coasters, but if there's VR right in front of my face the whole time, I get motion sick, easy.

I think you got the option to take them on or put them on. Yeah, but if you put it on, it's like really cool because you're in like a color land and you're doing all those cool stuff. I don't want to be in colorland,

dude, keep me out of colorland. Dude, my great grandparents had to put up with it up. Jesus Christ. You watch the white. You're just like in the complete whiteness.

Yeah. I is just, I mean, we're, yeah, we're an hour 15. I think we should wrap up. Fuck yeah. All right. Well, I've wrapped up this whole time. Yeah.

I've had a fucking condom on this whole pot. Oh, there we go. Fuck, yeah. That was a bad one. Yeah. That was a good one. That was like, what did I do earlier, the Chinese thing? I was like, yeah, because they're training.

What do you guys think of that? We keep everyone. Get rid of that. Yeah, we're still warming up. The other atrocities. I want to promote Jeremiah. This is a call to action. I'm just kidding.

Yeah. Do not do not do anything disrespectful. No, actually, Jeremiah's is kind of lit because they don't have their reward system is all fucked up. So I keep signing up for new rewards and saying it's my birthday. Oh, really?

You get a free ice cream for like a 15 year old girl. Yeah. I kind of want Jeremiah's. That's just delicious. Let's go. Get some right now, dude. Open light.

Are they really? I don't know. Over under and the age of the person working there. It's probably like 12. Yeah. Child labor. Yeah.

Labor and laboring up. Hell yeah. What do you want to promote? Fucking, my socials are just Captain Dot Right. I don't have any fun shows coming up. I don't think so. I think there's a lot of horrendous things. My name is Joe Sensabella.

Go ahead and look that up. Joe comedy. No, Jake, R-I-C-C-A-on- Everything. Yeah, I'll be at the 96-hour comedy festival in Austin, Texas. March 24th to March 4th. I mean, May 24th, May 29th. When does this come out? Next Sunday.

Oh, next Sunday. I have a show at the Improvice Sunday. Milk District Comedy, check it out. Check it out. Every Thursday and Saturday. If you're in Orlando, awesome shows. And once again, Mr. Jeremiah, I'm not calling you a pedophile.

It's a joke. Don't assume. Yeah. But whoever's hiring your fucking staff. Yeah, keep an eye on that guy. Because Jesus fucking. Since I was, I'm not even, because I was like, kid, there was girls in my high school getting that job.

Yeah. So weird. It's still going on, apparently, according to. It's still going on. I keep going on. Yeah.