Morning Good - Rogans in Paris (RIP Sean) - Episode 62

Episode Date: February 7, 2022

Sean was a tighter-than-family friend to the Morning Good staff, and we've even recorded an alcohol and drug-fueled podcast with him once that thankfully never made the air. This and all future episodes are dedicated to him and Cord Davis, who left us too early in 2020. Thanks for sharing some laughs, which is all Sean would have wanted for us.Thanks also to Dan and Ryan, two good friends of the show and absolutely killer comedians. Give them a follow on social media and check them out live in NY and on the road.Dan Carney is on Instagram and Twitter @danmancarney. Ryan O'Toole is on IG as well @itsryanotoole and livestreams for Amazon and reviews products that you may want or need, so check that out as well as his new podcast The Ryan O'Toole Podcast.This podcast was produced by Paxton Fleming, you can find him on Instagram @yaboypax 

Thanks for the F-Shack. I love dirty Mike and the boys. Hey, are you dirty Mike and the boys? How you know who we are? What's this? They called the podcast? Morning. I love that.

Yeah, it's me with the boner on the front. Welcome to morning. My cock and we're recording. Holy shit, we're fucking here. Let's do it. Finally. It's been a long week. Yeah, I know.

Really for me. Yeah, my friend died. We're just got to talk about. All right, drama. All right, drama queen, dude. Uh-oh. Jesus Christ. I'm ripping vapes.

I haven't slept much recently because I live above a bullshit bar. I'm not going to say the name of the bar, but fuck that bar. Key bar. Key bar. Why can't you say the name of it, dude? Why can't you say the name of it? Yeah, no one's going to murder me above key bar. Key bar, yeah.

I live above key bar. It's only owned by the Russian mob. Not a big deal, dude. Dude, they will be blaring tech now. There'll be fucking three people in the bar. It's the most annoying shit ever. But I didn't buy an apartment right above a bar. Oh, look at him flexing over here.

I bought an apartment, dude. You bought a apartment? And you're, now you're sucking down vapes. Yeah, you've had, you've had a rough week. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. The fact that you're outliving your friends is impressive, though. Yeah. That you're outliving your friends is impressive with your health. I'm outliving my, oh, outlive. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I know. No, no, I am, I am, yeah. I'm probably like one of the healthiest ones. You've had a cough that's, you know, four years probably. Yeah, yeah. You stand outside in 11 degree weather every night selling tickets. Oh, I want to say one of my favorite. I didn't get to speak about this before I get into the friend dying thing. I was out there. RIP Fred. Friend. He was Sean,

not Fred. We'll call him Fred. Yeah, we'll call him Fred so they don't know who we're talking about. If anybody, yeah. But I was outside fucking selling tickets and this dude comes up to me. He goes,

hey, man, can I get a light? And I was like, yeah, sure. And I give the guy my lighter. And for five minutes, I just watch him smoke crack with my lighter.

Because you see lighter. You assume it's like a cigarette. cigarette or weed. And I guess you have to really heat crack up because he's just standing there like, do you have it on the foil and stuff? Was he just like it? No, he had a good pipe.

It was like a glass. Well, yeah, he knew what he was doing. But it's funny too because Leo's just there making fun of the guy. It's like, yo, this motherfucker's smoking crack with your live. And the guy didn't care at all because he's just high on crack. And then everybody left.

Did he look like a crackhead? I could have figured it out. Yeah, once I saw smoking the crack, I was like this all that. But like if he walked by you on the street, would you think he's a regular dude or a crackhead? No, I would say he's a regular dude. Okay.

Let's dissect that for a second. You tell me people who smoke crack aren't regular dudes. You're right. I can't just be a regular dude who also smokes crack. You can. Cracked does not define me. Okay. Crack is just something I do to take the edge off.

That would be a great black and white picture of you just like sitting. Smoking crack, crack. I love how they sell crack pipes in smoke shops and it's just not a big deal at all. Oh yeah. I mean, they also sell like Whipitz K2. Yeah. Great. But you go to like nice smoke shops and there's just crack pipes.

Well, you can smoke weed out of them too. Really? Yeah, yeah. But you gotta call it something weird. You can't say a crack pipe. You got to call it something. You did, I've smoked weed out of crack pipes.

Can I get that crack pipe? How is it? It's just like a one hitter. Yeah, it's essentially like a one hitter. But like you feel like fucking, it's like, oh, that you're holding it like, oh, this is cheap because it's a crack pipe. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

They have a different price difference. There's one time I was smoking weed under a bridge with one of my friends. You can only pay for a copper wire and like old BCRs. Yeah. You're smoking weed out of, yeah,

no, you can cut me off. It's fine. Yeah. You've had a, you've had a, you've had a, you've had a week. That's been to everybody

that's fucking week. Listen, we, you made a good point about, you said you were acting like an asshole and your girlfriend let you off the hook for something. What's the limit on like,

because I know I think I'm a little different where it's like the second you came home from Florida, I was making jokes immediately. Oh yeah, which I, because I think about it personally,

like when I've been in shitty situations like that. My favorite thing is to just get ripped apart, just to have like that open thing. But it's like, how much can you do real? Like, how much, like, eventually it's going to wear off? Like, so what are you going to do? Are you going to be like, when you do something fucking retarded, are you going to, like, tell your girlfriend, like, come on. Yeah, it's been four months. Yeah, yeah. I have overlap because my one of my friends died same time last year. So I had like six months of that grace period. And then this happened. But you re-upped. Yes. I've been killing my friends so that I can get away with shit.

5 subscription. Yeah, yeah, exactly. Get them some vitamin D. Jesus Christ, dude. Is it this time of the year? Vitamin D doesn't help with fentanyl or suicide. There's no, there's no level. Ivermectin.

Yeah, Ivermectin. That's what you need. You need Ivermectin. I'm depressed. Have you tried Ivermectin? Yeah, yeah. That's the funny. That's a bit thing with the sleep stuff

because people are constantly like, have you tried this and now? I'm like, I've taken Ambien and stayed up all night. That's what's pretty fun. Dude, you trip balls. I was hanging out with my girlfriend. Oh my God. I was like, I was talking to her and I was like, I would go into my dream state and I'd be

at Jeff Ross's house. What? It's so funny how that is it. You have like, I mean, usually the people are at Jeff Ross's house are also asleep. So. So. A few years older. Yeah.

But, um, no, it was one of those things where it was like, yeah, you, you zone in. You could trip fucking balls. But it's like, it's like you go into the dream, but you're still totally aware. Like I had one where I was like a warm and like caves. And I'm like fully alert. I'm like, this is, I'm, on Ambien right now. I wasn't like I'm an actual

I'm a worm. I'm just a picture like the worm from Men and Black. Oh yeah. The one they're running it that gets in the subway. Yeah,

that's what I was. Yeah. That's pretty cool. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Ambien's prescription, right? Yes, for me. And anybody that wants it if they just ask their doctor,

it's very... Be careful. That's the shit where it's like if you take that and drink a lot of times you don't wake up. Yeah, yeah. I don't drink with that. Yeah, yeah.

Unless it's like Thursday afternoon. Yeah, yeah. Because you're trying to really have a good time. No, no. But yeah, I finally got fucking sleep last night, which was great. Which involved drugs. But I fell asleep and I slept for 12 hours. What kind of drugs?

If you don't mind. I took a little bit of Xanax and I had a beer and then I just fucking... What's one BFL like when you're on Xanax? Amazing. So good. You're like, this is fucking awesome. The first time I drank while on Xanax, the first time I took Xanax and like it was like a happy hour.

It was like a Friday afternoon and we had like a few drinks. And dude, we're back at my apartment. Me and my two other friends who took it. and we're like smoking weed. We're like, we just looked at each other. We're like, dude, I'm floating right now. Oh, yeah. It feels so like you just, and then you just,

you don't like fall asleep, you just become asleep. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. You're floating and then all of a sudden you're asleep. It's not like, all right, I'm passing out, just floating, sleep, wake up. Wow. So, you woke up like 16 hours later. Yeah, you sleep for a while and you still like can feel like the residual effects of a little.

Oh, dude, all day. I don't give a fuck about anything. You got a hangover? from Xanax. No, no. And actually, if you drink and take Xanax, you don't get hung over because you're still on Xanax. That was probably the only time I did it because I was like, damn, this is so good that there's no way it could be good for me to do all the time. Oh yeah. And the thing with it too is Xanax makes you know, no shit. You need a thing. What do you? Oh, that was a shock to you that Zanax is a shocking to me. You're like that all of that escalated everything. I'm not escalating

but you don't think Xanax is good to do all the time. No, I don't. No. That's my, uh, Hey, hey, you know what? That's my polarizing statement of the episode is I don't think Xanax is good to do all the time. I think it's a good substitute for the vaccine. Yeah, yeah. Because what happens is you take Xanax and you don't care about anything. So COVID does not exist if you're barred out everything. Yeah, it's, it's the, it's very Buddhist.

Yeah, you're just accepting your reality. Yes. Yeah, it's very zen. It really is because that's what they should call Xanax. Yeah. Dude, that's, that's very accurate. La-a-la-la-la-ba. Bear where, yeah, no, well, the thing, that's the thing is like, if you're a

loser and you take Xanax, it's great but horrible, because you don't give a fuck that you're a loser. If you're a loser to take Xanax, you're fucking cool now. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Now you're a cool kid. It is the great. I mean, the job of the drug is to make you not care about anything. Yeah. But... We can all use a little bit of that. Yeah. No, that's why in a little bit of it. Like, if you're like a high-stressed guy, you could take some Xanax. If you're, like,

really need it, you're in a mental breakdown. You're like, yeah, nothing matters. But if you do that every day and you fucking just play GameCube, then you're, yeah. Well, we went to college with a lot of those people. Yeah. Yeah. Well, Zanix is also exactly what your parents told you pot was. Yeah. Like, it's 100%. It's like, oh, you're not going to care about...

You get nothing done when you're on Xanax? No, no, no. And you don't care about where you are in life, which is awesome. And then you just don't... Your apartment's a fucking shit hole. There's Chipotle bags all over the table. All over the place. Our parents will lie to so much over weed where it's like...

Remember the commercials where they're like sitting on a couch like that and they have no bones in like this sitting there? And there's live above the influence. Dude, I smoke weed and I can't sit... I go, crazy when I smoke weed. I'll do dishes. I do dishes all the time I smoke part.

Dude, that's a great. That's a great. Cleaning your room. Yeah, dude, the only time in my life I ever had a six pack was like three years ago

and I was smoking weed every single fucking day. It's good for your metabolism. Dude, I was working out like a madman. Yeah, because you're like, I need to get my life to get to you.

I was smoking PCP. No. I was smoking high grade Massachusetts fucking marijuana. Dude, and I was ripped. But I eventually, but why is it?

Where did that come from where it was like, if you smoke weed, you get nothing done? I mean, I don't know. Everything's related to the people that do the drugs. I do there's a lot of times where weed, I smoke weed pretty much every day. And it's not like I'm always doing something productive. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, that's a good point. Also, like, a lot of drugs are based off who does them. So, like, apparently, a lot people say this, the people that do some of these harder drugs are out of their mind,

and that's why the drugs get a bad reputation. So it's like, because the drug has a bad reputation, the only people that are doing, it are people that are like, I don't give a fuck about my life. So like, literally people say that angel dust is like actually not as crazy. It's just crazy people do angel dust because that's such a bad rep. It's like guns. Yeah, they're awesome. Yeah, guns don't kill people.

People kill people. Exactly. So guns were, by the way, guns are brought out at the after funeral party. I just want to say this, one of my friends, favorite quote of all time. You show up to the pregame, horrible idea, but has guns. And then his quote is he goes, I only bring guns when girls are around. Which is the funniest thing.

No girls like, oh, hell. Yeah, let me see you're fucking... Why, to impress? Yeah, yeah. Or to lay down the wall. Did he just have... Did he have it like in a hole? Did he have it like in a hole still?

Was it tucked in? What was the... It was not safe. I got used for being honest. Florida is one of those places where you go to your friend's place and I'm like, yo, fucking look. Yeah, yeah. A gun.

Like, all right. I have a friend like that back home and he has a few guns and we were fucking around one time. This was like, it was over the pan... The height of the pandemic. We're getting shit-faced. And I was just. I'm like, yeah, just take your gun out.

And one of my other buddies was telling him not to do it. And he took the gun out. And luckily, he took the bullet. He emptied it out, but he was getting sick. His shit face, he dropped the gun. Oh, Jesus. Of course, it didn't go off because he took the round. There was no bullets in it.

It caused like a fucking shit storm with my friends. Oh, dude. Because someone, because someone. Because that thing, if that, it would have went off. I do not fuck with us. I don't show your face. I'm a fucking Winter Park, Florida.

Because, yo, my bad, dude. Winter Park, we're fucking. the most hardcore people. Dude, hard. Where is Kodak Black from? Definitely not Winter Park. Far from Winter Park. Perot lives in Winter Park.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Winter Park's like the nice suburb. Yeah. But, uh, dude, first thing I want to talk about is the fucking fuck United, dude. This fucking flight, six hours, because, like, what happened was the engine wasn't working.

It was before the fucking snowstorm. And then this guy goes, this is bullshit. Fuck you guys. And the flight attendant was like, we're going to have to ask you to get off the flight. And the guy wouldn't leave the flight. So we had to wait for three more fucking hours.

And like this, But it's so funny because they couldn't get the guy off like, what if this guy was a terrorist? You guys couldn't get off a guy who was complaining off the plane. We were so... No, I don't want to go. I hate how we have to... Like, I hate how there's a code of conduct at airports

where it's like, again, if you need to bring him off, call the fucking cops and just be like, listen, let's get this retard off. The amount of war stories I hear where it's like, oh, my flight was delayed fucking five hours because some dickheads causing a scene and they don't do... Why can't they just go in there,

tase him and get him out? Yeah, I would love... If they just got tase him, dragged off. Well, why can't you just act? It was because that Asian guy got dragged off. You got to only drag off. This guy was black too. Somebody gives us a black versus a gay flight attendant. And the back, it was a standoff. Those things cancel each other out, dude. Do you know what I mean? Somehow at some point he's like, it's because I'm black. And the gay guys like, yeah, and the gay guy is like, it's not because you're black, but you have to leave the plane. It was just the funniest. It's not because he's like, I'm not getting involved in this. I'm not getting involved.

How close to the action were you? Oh, I was like probably like six seats back. I didn't hear the full conversation, but everybody had their phones out immediately. Like usually like a line of phones just like it's like a, we live in like a black mirror episode. Oh yeah. Anything like semi-controversial happens. Phones coming out. Yeah. Yeah.

It was fucking nuts though, dude. I was, I was blown away by that. And I bought like 30 knives on the plane. They didn't stop me. Hell yeah. I'm just kidding. Did you bring anything illegal on your flight there,

a flight back? No, I always worried about though because I always put weed in my backpack. Just like, so it doesn't wreak up my parents house. I mean, they don't care, but it's still not like a good look.

And then I always like, I'm like, did I get that out of the plant? Like, I have no idea if I ever brought it on my bag. I always think of that because I always think of that when I fly. Because I always almost always have weed on me when I'm flying. Apparently it doesn't matter.

My buddy's like it works in weed in Colorado and he's just like brought over. Oh, my friend flies with like weed mushrooms, pill. See, I get nervous with the mud. He like lives out of his backpack and he's like, yeah, it's fucking fine. I get nervous with the mushrooms. But then I'm like, how are they going to prove that the bad mushrooms? You got to try something. Yeah.

I know. The airport just like fucking starts nibbling on it. All right. All right. But it's like, well, if you go through like, there was a rap. What was his name? Was it Vic Staples or Vince Staples or whatever? He got, he was, but he came from like Africa or some shit and he was bringing mushrooms and he got in trouble.

But that's because he went through, you go through customs. They go through all your shit. You fly in domestic. They don't go through your shit. Oh, yeah, yeah. Because I, yeah. Also, South Africa, one of the few places you can get Kualudes still. It's like the only place on Earth that you can get Kualudes.

But they did this. Shout out Nelson Mandela. Fuck. Yeah. Big time. Yeah. That'd be so funny. He's got a shirt of him.

It's like, no. Quailudes are. Apparently, there's a theory that they... You don't think it was for civil rights. No, you just fucking had Quailudes. They do this crazy. The crazy they do now is they crush it up and they put it in like a horn and smoke it.

That's called the Mandela effect. High up Quailudes. Yeah. And you misremember everything because you're fucked up. Why did they make... It was the Bernstein bears? I don't really give a shit. Why did they stop Quailudes?

Because they don't actually were? They discontinued it. And then the guy, so it's methyl quillone. And the guy who, like, made it all, like, apparently threw, like, burned down, like, a fat. I don't know this is true, but I heard, like, he, like, deleted the recipe, like, got rid of it. But then, like, somewhere in South Africa where it was, like, being manufactured. The old family recipe. Dude, it gets crazy.

Like, I watched a documentary on it. It was, like, it's too powerful. That's fucking awesome, dude. Yeah. And it was, like, there's a huge argument. Like, apparently there was, like, a weird trade of, like, oysters and quailudes going on between two countries. And, like. They used to have quailudes in, uh, the old Coca-Cola.

recipe. Yeah. With Coke. I'm relaxed, but I'm skeeted. I would kill. I've never wanted, I've never done cocaine mainly for the, I think it's underrated.

I'm overrated. No, actually, I agree, dude, it is underrated. No, no,

no, I think it's overrated. I've never done it for the soul. It's never interested me to do it. You know what I mean? Where it's like, but I would love. I would kill to have an original,

an original Coca-Cola dude, I would fucking kill that. Yeah, but it's probably just the weakest, you were getting like no coke in you. because it's like you have to take so much of the cocoa plant to make cocaine. And like what was in Coca-Cola was like a very, like it was like some of the cocoa plants.

Like you probably would have to drink like 50 coax to get like worth of two bumps. I would not want to be around you when you're on cocaine. Oh yeah. Why not? It's got to be bad. You're already so high energy. What? You're already so high energy.

I don't think I don't need cocaine. You do not need it. No. Yeah. I've been told this by, you know, it's funny because like you're not, you guys aren't the only people that have told me that before. Oh, we believe that. Yeah.

Some of my friends who do Coke They're like, you don't really need to do it. It's not going to do much. Yeah. I don't even like drinking coffee. Like, I like getting hyped, dude. You know what I mean? I fucking like it.

But it's like, drinking too much coffee. Is it kind of like drinking too much coffee times 12? No, it's like, I don't know how to describe it. It's kind of like you're trying to, I've never done it. It's a little bit like you're trying to like fit in at a party.

And then you want to look cool. So you go with your friends in the back of you do it. And then, I always fit in at parties, dude. I believe that. I am. Everyone thinks. Heapiti High School Class of 2012, Life of the Party right here.

I don't do Coke anywhere, but I like being around Coke. Every time I hear something gets Coke. I hate it. I hate being around it. I was at a party recently where a guy was, like, doing a bunch of Coke. And it was kind of funny, but he was like this greasy hair motherfucker. And like, me and Brandon Barreira were there. And we weren't doing any.

But like, we were like, they had karaoke at this like pregame. And me and Brandon were like doing some karaoke. And this guy comes up to us, puts his arm out of us. He's like, guys. I've never met two guys or two people that have a passion for karaoke I fucking love you guys Yeah yeah

He's the most annoying people Everyone on cocaine acts like everything's the biggest deal of all time Yeah but it's like okay this is when I like Coke When I'm drinking all night And then everybody wants to go home But then the people that are on Coke are like Let's fucking do something That's fun when it's like 3 a.m.

People are like let's still keep partying But 3am It gets scary hours for me Because then I'm like You know the next day is going to be a fucking wow Absolutely. Yeah, yeah. You're like,

I'm not getting anything done. I kind of have that a little bit too. I mean, it's definitely fun for a while, but like, I'm going to do, like, now. It sucks.

That's why I like the only, that's why my favorite time's drinking now. I love drinking when there's football on during the day because it's like I start drinking at 11, 30, 12 in the afternoon, dude. I'm going to be good at like eight to nine at night to just crash. Yep. Oh, yeah, but then I wake up at like 4 a.m.

Me too. That's starting to happen to me too. I really do think I might get to a point eventually in my life where I don't drink at all. I'll never. I'll never reach that point. Yeah, yeah. In my mind, the idea of getting sober is scary to me because I'm like, then I can't drink.

Like, my mind. I'm like, oh, wait, a sober dad? I was like, how am I going to enjoy like alcohol? Whoa, hanging out like, yeah, I guess that's right. But I get to a, but it's like, I've gotten to a point where I've been, I loved drinking at one point in my life where I loved it. I do like it a lot less now, yeah. A lot less I like it.

I don't enjoy like. I still love it. I still fucking love it, dude. Yeah. It's still great. I like, I mean, I, I, to a certain point. point, you know, because now, like, a motor, I'm like, oh, man, I'm getting fucked up. But someone just lean into it, you're like, okay, all right, this is great, then it's, it's, it's awesome.

Yeah, yeah, if you're like, I'm literally a piece of shit, then it's fun. I love going to a Mexican restaurant, getting some fucking chips and sauce and be like, you know what, fuck it, let's get margaritas. Yeah, that's fun. And you know what, let's get a second margarita. Yeah, yeah. Like, how we did now, I had the bud lights in the fridge, it's like, you know what, let's crack out open some bud lights. Yeah.

That's, that's fun. Yeah, I agree with that. Yeah. like just kind of like the unexpected drink or, you know, or the expected drink is nice. It's more so I don't think. I don't drink every night. I don't, I used to love drinking like every single Sunday when the Pats were on. I was clearing a majority of a 30 rack where I was going to drink probably.

I found a solution for you. What? I found a solution for me. I may have found a solution for all this. Bud Light 55 select. They're 2.5% alcohol. Oh, no, I can't do it. I'm out.

No, no. Listen, this is what it is. So it's half a regular beer. So if you're out day drinking. I still want to talk to my dad. But this is what it is. It's half the amount of regular alcohol. Because my thing is I love chugging beers all day, but I don't want to be blackout

drunk. So you drink these at fucking like noon and you will be five beers deep by five o'clock instead of ten beers deep. So you can pace yourself perfectly and you're getting water. I drank it this weekend because after the funeral we started drinking at like three o'clock and I was like, I'm not going to be able to party until 3 a.m. But by 8 o'clock, I had 10 of these, but that's only five beers. So I was like, that's a perfect, because I hate pacing myself and you're looking at a beer

and you're like, oh, I have to drink this over the course of an hour. I'd rather just slam beers and slowly get drunk to the point. Dude, I, uh, I, one of the, my favorite day drinking days is like, when I, in college, I had this apartment where, like, you can get out on the roof. And the roof would, like, overlook who's from, right from my room, directly from my room, and get on the roof. You could sit on it, chill there. Like, we used to hang out there, listen to music and.

Did anyone ever jump off of it? No one, uh, uh, uh, uh, or fall off of it? No, no one ever fell off of it. No. If you fell off of it. would you be fucking adios? It would be... It wasn't super high up,

but it would not be good. It's wheelchair height. Like you'd be in a wheelchair. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Potentially wheelchair height. That'd be hilarious if each, like, floor had like a wheelchair. Crutches...

Like a different... Crutches. Crutches, a wheelchair, Stephen Hawkins, and then a coffin. Yeah. But, dude, we were sitting out... It was like... I remember...

It was like, I just gone over the flu, and I was like, man, I want to, like, fucking go out, do something. But we just had some people over and, like, me and, like, three or four friends, drank beers on my roof and we just chucked the empty cans off

when we were done. We were just smoking weed and drank beer all day and then we went to the Chili's that was on our campus and just got fucked up. Yeah, just like passed out

in the Chili's. That's always one of the best like when I think of like a nostalgic day and drinking days, that's always tops for me. And there's also something special about being fucked up

when nobody else is fucked up. There's a special feeling where you're like, oh yeah. Oh yeah. They're fucking sober. I'm hammered. I'm a big fan of that.

When I was in high school, I remember, it was my, I can't remember if it was my junior or senior I went to a prom and all my friends said they were going to drink like before. Like yeah, we'll all meet up. We'll get fucked up.

We'll sneak booze in or whatever. And we all went home and we all left school early to like get our hair cut and just, it was an excuse to get out early. And I got smashed at my house by myself. I remember I was drinking mill of high life and gray goose. Shit face. And I remember my mother told me she like,

you're literally going to get thrown out of school. You're wrecked. So we're taking pictures or whatever. And I realized I was like the only person Hammond. Like no one else drank. And I was like 17. No one else did anything.

I was like, dude, you guys are retarded, dude. Yeah, they were. They were pussy. They fucking were pussies. My problem day was on acid. She had a horrible time. Oh, your problem, date.

Yeah, yeah. She didn't know she was on acid, though, right? Yeah, yeah, yeah. That'd be a funny drug. It's like, we're not going to have sex, but I'm going to spiritually inspire you against your will. She didn't know she was on a date with Michael Good. Yeah.

She thought it was a giraffe. Yeah. Chili's is like a great restaurant to go to, though, like when people are actually acting like Chili's, isn't a Chili's and you show up to a Chili's the way you're supposed to show up to a Chili's. That's a good. That's a good thing. Dude, we had a Chili's on our college campus for the first three years that I was there.

That served alcohol. And there would never card you. Hell yeah. And there's always Bogobargs. Was James Winston ever there, dude? Probably. I wouldn't get one. Margaritas, dude.

Pretty much all the time. See, that's the shit I don't do. Like Massachusetts doesn't have happy hour. It's illegal. So it's like, yes. It's illegal. Yeah, in Massachusetts. It's illegal.

Well, like Massachusetts, Texas. Because someone killed them. They don't serve alcohol at like gas stations that CVS passed like midnight. Like certain places where it's like... But those are so funny though because they're like, I'm sorry your son died in a drunk driving accident. Now we're going to outlaw happy hours. That was not the problem.

The problem is your son drove hammered. Yeah, that's exactly what it is. Are you supposed to close a deal with no happy? Yeah. Good point. And it's crazy too because like Massachusetts, specifically Boston is the biggest college city in America. Maybe the world, honestly.

But definitely in America, it's the biggest college city in America. Well, those fucking Harvard kids need to figure something out. Yeah. Yeah, that's fucking nuts. I'm down to, by the way, I'm down to pop into some reavers. Hmm? I'm down to fucking, we're about how. Oh, for some reason, I thought like...

You want to spock this baby up, Michael Good? Yeah, I said we're going to wait until we're 30 minutes in. I haven't ever used this one hit out or any of this. Should we pause it? Yeah, yeah. Can you do that? And it'll still keep, it won't fuck it up? Yeah.

Don't say anything, too. All right. We're back from that little cool guy break. Hell yeah. Dude, we're mad cool. Yeah, man. It's recording, right? Yeah, Dan got some pussy real quick.

Oh, dude, he got, he fucking smoked so much weed. And then this girl came up. She's like, I'm trying to suck a real pothead cock. And then Dan was there. Yeah, right place, right time. But she had dry mouth. So she actually got stuck on his penis. Whoa.

No, that was, that was, yeah, that happened. Yeah, exactly what happened. Yeah. Yeah, but a lot of people, a lot of people get stuck on the penis. You have a little taste of Dan's dick, and you will never let go. It's like, you know, and it's, you know, and it's cold out and you put your tongue up to like a, like a telephone pole or something like that.

So you have it's your penis? Yeah, yeah. That seems like it would be like an animal instinct. Like, you know, like frogs or something? They're like, we have a barb penis so like the women can't escape. Oh. Like a sticky penis. I don't know if it's a women can escape or thing.

I think it's like frogs are like the ones that are colored brightly. They're poisonous. Oh. Because they, you know. They attract. It's like a to. So I'm not supposed to let them lick my penis? Maybe we edit this part.

No, no, no. We're leaving to stay. Nothing's getting edited at all. All right. that we're high, we're paranoid. Cut out that part. Cut out the whole podcast, dude. I can't talk about frog penises.

Let's talk about Joe Rogan. I'm not getting it. That's the one topic we can't talk about. Dude, let's talk about Joe Rogan, man. All you Spotify listeners are fucking cucks. If you put this podcast on Spotify, I really do think you're racist and there's something wrong with you. Yeah, I agree.

Well, I'm putting it right on Spotify. It says a lot about your character. everybody knows it's okay Joe Rogan said the end we're quoting me so it evens out white people can get away

with saying the N word now if instead of the N word they say Rogan that's just the by the way we can't edit any of the sound just said

yeah we're not adding any of the sound all right I just want to you're acting like we just said the out word dude you know what I mean oh shit my bad dude I'm sorry

fuck you can't say road yeah stop stop don't say it Dude, I don't... No hard end. No, yeah, no hard end.

Yeah, there we go. All my Rogas. Dude, I want a compilation of video of me going, Rogan, Rogan, Rogan. Let's just... I'm sorry, I was using it in the context of what he said that. Let's just, let's just do famous, famous black movie scenes where we just use... We just use Rogan, dude.

That word with Rogan. Let's do it. Or just him saying it. Oh, that one. Get back here, you. Rogan just like someone had Django. Instead of every time they say the N-word on Django, it's just replace it with a clip of Rogan saying the word. So like when Leo's given some fucking monologue, it cuts to Rogan saying it instead.

White people, white people obviously still say the N-word in movies, right? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. It's the only reason I'm an actor. That's why I went to acting school, dude. They edit in a black guy doing a thumbs up. Like, it's part of the scene. You have to see it. Every N-word in a movie now has to have a black guy say.

Still, one of the best episodes of South Park ever is when Randy's on Whale of Fortune, dude. Oh, yeah. And the neighbor's one. Yeah, yeah. And the cameraman, when it's N blank G-G, and the cameraman just looks to the side. Yeah, yeah.

It's one of the best fucking scenes ever, dude. The funny part is like, you got to active school. They really teach you, like, pronunciation. Yeah. And they're like landing hard on the Oh yeah. There's just like an active coach. He's like, all right, all right.

For this, you know, you got to really land on. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You're kind of stumbling through the word. You know, there was a conversation that happened between Jamie Fox and Leonardo O'Donacabria apparently was very similar to that where Jamie Fox had to pull him off set of Django. He's like, you're not really saying it like you mean it. And Leonardo DiCaprio was like, okay, he's like, I want you to fucking say it.

And Leonardo Carvers like, all right, I'll go say it. My favorite thing I showed you, it was that it was, you know, I heard everyone on set of that movie was. on alpha brain while they're... It was... But my favorite is that quote I showed you... You know how people do Leonardo DiCaprio quotes? Yeah, yeah.

They did one of him, but it was like, you know, you gotta keep working as hard as you can. Like one of those motivational quotes, but they used the picture of him from Django. Oh, dude. It was just him as a slave master. I have, like, 30 memes from Facebook saved. I only go on there now to, like, save memes from there

because it's like a meme of like, if you doubted me in my past, you're not part of my future. And it's like Joaquin' Phoenix and the Joker. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. People do it. Are you fucking chutesing someone's throat? Yeah.

And, like, the account's called like Joker motivational quotes. Oh, God. And it has like 1.2 million followers. Do you think that serious, though, that account? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Well, I mean, you don't think it's some fucking dickhead like us. who's like, let me fuck with people.

Maybe, but like the fans are serious. People are in turp. But they're like, yeah, this is fucking true. Yeah. You know, it's like the hustle hard, like Instagram shit, but it's like the fucking Joker. Yeah. I want to delete it.

It's pretty great. I swear to God, dude, I want to delete Instagram. It's all bad. It's like so bad. I heard some, I've heard people say this a lot. Like, I've heard people say it over the years, but like, you know, it sucks. I heard someone say recently that like, they're going to look back if we even fucking make it this phone.

Yeah. But they like, we're going to look back eventually and be like, I can't believe we let kids be on the internet this month. You know what I mean? I don't think, I don't know if we ever like, well, though we're going to get it. Because like now kids are getting on it younger and younger and younger and younger. They have like fucking five-year-olds with accounts. Babies that like VR headsets. That'd be a great parenting thing.

You should put a VR of like something nice for your kid. No, I'm here with you. This is how grabbing beers. I can't wait to put my kid in the metaverse. So you just get fucked up. smoke cigarettes and cheat on their mom. Just tape them to a chair. No, we're playing right now.

It's so weird, though, because, like, dude, Metaverse is a lot of perks that they don't talk about. It does make you think, though, it's like, do you think we're in some, like, the more I see shit like, simulation theory. Well, I'm serious. Why do we have to smoke pot? God damn it.

The more I see, like, the Metaverse shit, I'm really like, well, maybe we are in a fucking simulate. Granted, it doesn't matter if we are, but maybe we are in a game. I know, so I'm trying to get as much pussy, collect as much pussy points as I can. Yeah. Oh, yeah, dude.

Wait, wait, what if you get out? They're like, actually, uh, this was the simulation test. The people that fuck the pussy were the gay ones. No. Technically, you're gay. What if the only way to get to the next. If you're bad dudes, you're straight.

So, what a gay. And we're a homophobic society. So you're, it's bad. What a ride. Yeah. Oh, man, what a ride. You guys got to go out of old internet.

That, uh, oh, the one they got to talk about old internet. One of my favorite. old internet moments. Old internet's great. Oh my gosh. Just throwing shit on there. They were like, what the fuck.

There was like 10, what I love about. World's not hip hop. Dude, World's not hip hop. Old YouTube. Oh yeah. How there's like,

I love how there's like seven or eight breastfeeding videos. Like the greatest wonders of the world, like these seven or eight YouTube videos that everyone just remembers. Mike Tyson's funniest moments. That was one. I'm talking like, remember like unforgivable. Oh yeah.

Bitch give me. Yeah. Yeah. You should be. That one. The fucking lizard one. That might be the best YouTube series. still to this.

Unforgivable one through four. Those might be, to this day, the best YouTube. Someone made like a mini documentary on it on YouTube and they like dug up. I watched that. It's really, dude, it's really cool. One of the guys died,

the guy who filmed it died. Really? Yeah. And because they took it off YouTube because they, those two, it was like, the dude was in it, and the guy was filming it.

This is a white dude from Texas. They're both from Texas. And they made all these short films and they were on set of one of them. And they're like, I really don't, don't really know fuck with how this is going. So they were just like goofing around and they

uploaded that and it was like by far the biggest thing they've ever done. Oh yeah, way better than what they were already planning on. And you know, they made a lot of other shit but like that was like by far the most viral and like was like culturally impactful. Absolutely. My acting teacher we're still talking about. Dude, my acting teacher

Jeffrey Hoan dude, he's fucking acted with everyone. He was like literally in the fucking act this studio. He was an unforgivable three. No, but he was in he was in a bridge on a river Kwai, dude, and he told us that he was in that. And Unforgivable quoted that. Remember, he's like, we don't watch three movies. Like, I forget what it was.

Bridge on a River Kwai. Something else. He's like, a lean. But I only knew that. I never seen that movie from 195, dude. But I knew the Unforgivable dude said it. They were like major film buffs, those guys. Yeah, the major film nerds.

And I think the guy who was in the video kind of like. Absolute legends. Not like gave up on it, but they never had any success really outside of at the white dude, like, who filmed it was in. in like production team for some shit. But he died. And then they re-up, he re-uplopped the video.

And he was like, this is for Jeremy. And it's in the description of the video now. Damn. I know, dude. Made to bring the mood down in the room. Dude,

you know, all the internet, one thing I want to talk about. What time we went to sleep over and everybody's like, yeah, let's watch two girls one cup. You're like,

ah, it's gross. We watch that. But then he goes, yo, yo, yo, let's watch two guys one hammer.

And we watch the video. I think I've told this. It's one of those, like, You know, you're like, let's see. Where is that kid today, dude? He's dead. It was actually...

Where are they now? All those kids died, dude, remember the dude? The dude, the dude, got fucked by the horse. Oh, yeah. The glass jar guy. No, no, no. The guy... The glass jar guy, you remember that one?

Yes, no, no, but let me get to this. We watched the video. We're like, oh, this will probably be some gross thing. And then it's just a video of a guy in Serbia, murdering another man with the hammer. And we were, like, in eighth grade. I remember, we went back to school the next day, just, like, looking off in the distance. We were just like, you guys is okay?

we're like, nothing fucking matters. We watched a guy get murdered in the woods of Serbia. Now we're going to go, like, learn about the pyramids. We're like, none of this matters. Well, it's funny because that was probably on, like, YouTube is, like, I think people forget, like, YouTube back so, like, I mean, you see the warnings YouTube puts on videos. It's for, like, it's for, like, lyrics in a song, but it's like the entire, literally the entire

world watched Saddam Hussein get hung on YouTube. That video was uploaded on YouTube and nothing else. You know what I mean? Yeah, I was fucking rock hard. So hard, dude. America. I was like a fucking Patriotic. I pre-came a little bit when I saw him. It was like a little, just a little...

But like, imagine that being on YouTube now? That's why... How funny did that be, just like... They'd be like Man dies of COVID-19. Middle East of Man-Dyes of COVID-19. You guys ever see two kids in a sandbox? Yeah, the screwdriver one. The one where they like...

It's going into his fucking... Yeah, yeah. By the way, let's clarify it's not children. Did you guys willingly... Did you guys see? Because I, I remember I saw two girls one cup for like 10 seconds. I was like, I don't need to see this shit. Did you guys want to want it over? And like seventh grade just showed us every single.

He's like, guys, I'm about to put you on to some stuff. Yeah. And we watched like, the worst. I've been to these videos and we're like, all right. There's a whole world out there that we don't know about it. And then you watch Shaw and you're like, that's lame. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Real.

That's how I feel about a lot. This is our real. That's how I remember like, because that's why I don't know. I think about it. I had a, did you guys have a. Did you guys have a black box back in the day? I said you guys have a black friend? We had like one.

You think I'd be friends with you guys if you did? Did you have a black box though? I've been inside a black box before. Oh, there we go. No, is it like an Xbox but for people from Boston? No. It was like a cable box, but it had every channel. They were like illegal.

Oh yeah, I remember. Did you have those? So we had... My dad's like, we have four channels now. And I'm like, all right. Fuck that. My dad's gotten rid of various. We have four channels.

This was old, though. This was like before. Like, this was before, like, Comcast. This was, like, not, this was like, T, was like, T. Oh, yeah, definitely pre-Tvo. Tvo came out towards, like, the end of that, I'd say. But fucking, I remember, like, is a kid just flipping through it, I'd go from, like, there was an A side and the B side, and all, like, the regular shit was the A side, but the B side,

it's still, like, Cartoon Network, a couple channels, but then you'd be, it was, like, cartoon network, I think in Boston was Channel 60B, and then you went to, like, 61B, and it was just, like, some broad getting railed on paper. Oh, that's awesome. You know what I mean? And then you go to like 63, it'd be QVC. Then it'd be like Howard Stern, but they'd be talking about wild shit.

They would never, it was all, it was every paper, you could watch wrestling and shit, but I feel like that was like a big thing too where it's like, that sounds nuts. It was crazy,

but everything was on, yeah, but you got every WWF pay per view for free. You know what I mean? Wait, so it's like an illegal device. Yeah, it was super illegal back in like the 80s and 90s.

They were awesome. Damn, dude. I don't have that. You don't have it. You don't have it. Oh, no, yeah. But that, I don't know. I did.

What are we even talking about? Black box. We're talking about having... You should just have everything on. I will say this. It was so funny because one time we were my friends were joking. Like you watched those videos like weird porn. And that's always, you would do that as like a joke.

And then one guy is into it. And I was the guy that was, it was like chicks farting. That's so funny. And then I was like, well, I'm going to watch this for a couple years after. I went out after a show there night with, uh, Mina Coal Comics and these few girls in the audience. and we were just like at this bar just talking about like

it was like these three strangers and it was kind of good we just immediately started talking about like crazy sex stuff and like we're talking about like the weirdest porn we all watch and like total strangers it was like some guys like child shot like hold on a second

hold on hold on he's like I know fucking wacky right I don't know man it's just my thing dude it is fun like quick aside my friend was at the Met the other day and there's like a An exhibit at the Met, the museum. The Met?

The Met? All right. The Metropos. The Met? The met. Well, you're gonna come after me for saying words wrong? How did you say scaffolding? You said, scaffolding?

This guy says scaffolding. Go ahead. Your friend was at the fucking Metz. Like it's a fucking Netflix series about the Royal Family. How many languages do you speak, Dan County? I speak one, American. Okay. I speak like six languages.

Okay, so go on. Oh, you speak retard fluently. All right. It's a bad thing, dude. I speak Rogan. Robonics. Rogonics. Rogonics.

Yeah. It's like, I'm just, I'm saying, I'm saying, I'm just, I'm not a house at, I'm not a house, Rogan. Oh my God, dude. Yeah, man. Podcasting. This medium is going somewhere. This could be the next big thing. Oh, man.

We'll all be fine. I don't want to talk about the rogue thing anymore. What exhibit? The fucking, Oh, yeah, there's like a Walt Disney one. No, I don't know. There's some exhibit. And he was like, yeah, there was like fucking, like naked.

They were walking. There was like fucking like naked kids. in this example. Oh, yeah, yeah. Always. I've said that before. And I was like, like, okay.

Why is that allowed? I agree. Why is that allowed? I've been saying this for years, dude. So if it's on someone's computer, they're like, can they be like,

I'm an art collector? Fucking Central Park, dude. I've been saying this. Central Park has a fucking statue of Romeo and Juliet making out. They're fucking naked. Dude, those kids were 14 in the fucking story. Every film like that used to be like a little kids penis

and it would pee out of their penis. Yeah. Remember that? Lots of peeing kids. Yeah. There's a lot of peeing kids. Did you ever, like, see one of those on, like, they would have them at, like, any, like, landscaping.

And they're never circumcides. It's very frustrating. But it shows you. Exactly what I like. It shows you how unorganized the pedophile community is. I would use a pedophile community. Yes, it is, because they would never get in, because, like, if you have, you could make a case that child porn is technically a work of art.

Now, I'm not saying it belongs in a museum, but it's like, you can't tell me there's no creativity. It's like, it's Indiana Jones. It belongs in a museum. museum. It belongs in a museum. But it's like, I think, you know what I mean? It's like, just go to a pedophile's house, like, so you can fight this person. I'm sure there's one good film that has a good cinematography on it.

You know what I mean? He's just replacing child tapes with the, what does he do? Like the bag of sand. But, yeah, I know it's weird. So make the case, Ryan. I was just saying, if pedophiles was smart, it'd be. be like, well, how is this any, why is this any different than any of the paintings in the Met? Because I agree with you.

Yeah. I don't know. I mean, I'm glad pedophiles are retarded also. You know what I mean? I don't think they have the wearer with all the fucking, I don't know. They clearly don't. Yeah, they clearly don't. I just don't think the Met does it for them.

They walk by it and then that happens. Then they're like, this is a lot to you. Yeah. Maybe it's like, it's like, it's too out in the open. Yeah. It's not for me anymore. Yeah, I have to watch it in my mom's basement. That's the only way.

What if that's really it? maybe just being hidden in your mom's basement is with the real fetishes they just I don't know you should get one on I'm talking about it I've talked about this I will 100% have one on I'll get canceled immediately but it'll be the most viral episode of the podcast fuck pedophile straight up bro I'm gonna I'm gonna take a weird stance on this

I think they're pieces of shit but a lot of them were molested so it's kind of hard to like say like the victim of being molested and them I'm not saying you're innocent from it's fucked up but I think I think to a degree it is a mental illness so I'm like, I don't know. It's so good about people with mental illness. Why are we cutting them slack?

You know what I mean? Defending them. No. Guess what it's 2022 figure it out. Yeah. You're an alpha brain now. You can just take that. That shit gave me a headache.

I took that shit one time, that alpha brain shit. It gave me. I actually liked it. Blue shoe gives me a headache. If you're taking a blue shoe, dude, you'll be, I mean, maybe it's because I'm hammered when I take a you a bonus, right? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

You've got a headache because all the bloods left your... No, the Mets. Things at the Mets give me, but no, um... I'm kidding. They give me headaches. Taking a blue chew before you go to the Mets. Getting hard going to the Mets, dude. That's a pedophile challenge.

That's how they're going to catch pedophiles. They give them a blue choo. Everybody has to do it. It's like a driver's license. You get one of the I'm not into kids license. And the cops give you a boner. You go to the MET. And if you're good, then you're good.

Dude, I saw, uh, I was on TikTok and, uh, and I saw this video of this guy. it was like a like he got caught by like an organization that like the sting operations like for pedophiles. Like to catch a predator? Yeah. Like they do their own version and he had to like call his friend and be like, hey, I need you to keep me on the straight and arrow. And they just fucking post this video. Oh, wait, wait. Oh, because he was like, wait.

So he got caught in a sting operation. I guess it's a group. And I guess they don't call the police. Instead they like film you. You have to put like your fucking shit out there. And then like you have to like knock on every door in the neighborhood and be like, hey, I need you to keep me on the street. said one of your friends called you and said that? No, I saw it.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. That's a big, I thought you're just opening up. You're like, now our friends are pedophile. We don't know what to do with it. No, I saw us on TikTok. And the guy who he's on the phone with was like, oh, they got you, huh? And he's like, what has he been in this?

Oh, I know this game. And he goes, yeah, you know, they're, they're making me call you. And, you know, you're the person I could trust most of the office. So I need you to keep me in the straight and arrow. And the guy on the line goes, man, you can get away with damn near everything. in this state, huh?

Dude, it was so weird. I'm like, yeah, why is this all fucking... I'll watch it. That sounds fun to watch, too. Obviously, it's an interesting watch, but like... To catch your predator's most fun, fucking joke. My favorite...

With the TikTok and Instagram stuff, good at your point, it's like, it's all like, this is not... It's like, nothing about that video was like, good. Yeah. Like, yeah, obviously it's good that he got caught, but like...

What's the, it was for, for what, for viral content? Yeah. We're, we're a, we're a social media account that traps pedd predators. Bro, people always do that. Buy, you buy, subscribe to our Patreon. Yeah. For, use our code for 15% off. Bro, that's all 99% of these people do this shit for.

It's fucking, no one was saying, no one was, Just call the cops on them. Fuck it. But everyone wants credit. Everyone wants to, like, have a, like, good, be, like, ahead of stuff in a good way. When it's like, a lot of people do it for the profit. It's all that, dude. The good shit that comes with it.

Yeah. For ratings to get some fucking buzz and attention. I just want to dip out from this this fucked up road of society. Dude. Capitalism, dude. It's fucking die. Let's go back.

Don't you wish you were born in 1955? Dude, man. We would be crushing it. Remember what everyone used to? A couple white guys in New York City? Oh, yeah. Oh, my God.

I don't know. I just want to go to Korea. I just got back. I just got back and I've been beating my wife ever since. I don't know. I think my grandpa was in the Korean War. I don't even know. it was, really.

Nine was. It was kind of, the Korean War was a vibe. I think everybody went. There's a bunch of a war, it was just a fucking vibe. Yeah. A bunch of people went,

right? It was like a lot of people were there. Yeah, from like 1950 to 1956. Yeah, a lot of people were there, Michael. What kind of question is that?

That's when the bad, that's when the bad Korea started, South Korea. Kim Jung? No, no, well, yeah. Well, yeah, the good guys. How do I sit there with an accent?

Kim Jong. Yeah. I said that weird. The good, yeah. You know, Kim Jung was just on mass singer. Did you guys see that? That was pretty crazy. I thought you showed him with Kim Jong.

No, no, no, no, Kim Jong, the North Korean leader is a best singer. And then Ken Jong was on like, do I stay? Dude, that would be a... Apparently, he left the show of something, right? Yeah, because fucking Rudy Giuliani was on the show. So he walked off the fucking stage? No, but it's like, obviously the point that everyone's making is like, well, yeah, like, you work for a company that, like, Fox, Fox produces the show.

Why is everyone such a... pussy. I walk by people on the subway in New York City that probably have murdered people. I don't get to just leave the tree. You know what? You can't be on a studio television show with someone you don't agree with. I'll fucking say something, you pussy. But they're like, it's just, well, it's just safer to leave. It's also like they want to be in more movies. I want to keep working. It's like, maybe you don't host the mass singer if you actually give a shit about it. Like, you just care about money. Yeah, yeah. You're also as much of a sellout as is, is Rudy Giuliani as at least really Gianni is like standing for something. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Damn right.

is. I don't approve of, but I don't know. I don't even know anything about Rudy. Everyone, like, people, that's another thing. Like, when people say, like, oh, I don't agree with his politics, but it's like, well, can you tell me something about his politics? I know he cracked down on crime in the 90s. He got this city straight out. And he was on an episode of side film. Yeah, yeah. That being said, look at the city now. Do you, dude, New York City's a mess, dude. Yeah, that is the thing. That's my only issue with him, because, like, I guess he was a piece of shit. He was against, like, people jumping over the train where it's like, fuck you, dude. Find something better to do.

So you do hate Rudolph, Julian. But now the new, you see the new mayor said that he was like, I apologize for my past comments about white people. Really? Yeah, yeah. Yeah, we're the comments. First time for everything. I pull us up. I was like, all right, you think you're going to get off that?

I'm good. I heard him say something like he was afraid of the subway the other day. He said even he's afraid to ride the subway. It's like, he's like, I couldn't believe it. I was like, well, when's the last time this guy's been on the train? You know what I mean? He called, uh, you apologize for calling white New York. Department crackers in 20s. Dude, this guy has my vote. I'm voting for this guy.

I said. I'm voting. What did he say? Do you have the exact quote? Do you have the exact quote? Every day in the police department, I kick those crackers ass. Hell yeah, dude. Let's go. Dude, this guy's cool. Yeah. Let's go. Man, I was unbelievable in the police department with 100 blacks and law enforcement. That's incapitalized. Maybe that's official a group. He continued referring to a police advocacy. 100 blacks is an official group? co-founded in the 90s, yeah, became a sergeant, lieutenant, and a captain. You know the story. Some people all of a sudden trying to reinvent me. But the reality is, the reality is what I was then, is who I am now. So do you still hate crackers or what? Yeah, yeah. Wait, that's actually it.

That's it. Yeah. Do you still hate crackers or what? That's that's my question. Yeah, man. That's pretty funny. That's a little. Damn, dude. I might have, I might have signed up If I ever hear a black guy referred to the word crackers as the C word, I'm, that is, or the doubtful. I like, dude, fucking say it. Yeah, yeah. Say it to my fucking cracker face.

Yeah. I know, we gotta start calling each other crackers more. That's what we thought. We need to do. I was actually thinking about this the other. How white women not commandeered this word and just ran with it?

Oh my God. Yeah. That's happening. Yeah. Honkey, I like honky too, but Cracker has like a, has like a, well, it has the art. Because crack is like, I feel like honky isn't like an urban term.

Like cracker, like, I've called people crackers before. You know what I mean? It's like, I've never called someone, I feel like a, like, when I think of someone who would call someone a honky, would be like a redneck with like a truck a hat on. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's a classification. A cracker and a honky is just any white person. Yeah. But you know, you know, you know, the root of it, right? No, not all crackers are white. No, you don't know the, it's from

cracking. Oh, crack in the whip. Oh, so maybe it's not even. Oh, I thought it was like saltine cracks. Yeah, we're those. Yeah, we crack wips. We're the late masters. It sounds bad. Yeah, we cannot call it. Dude, fuck. I used to, I thought it was because of, like, saltine crack is. That's what I thought to you. But then I remember I actually had heard the cracker the whip. Fuck. Yeah. If it was the salting crackers, I'd be way more happy with. Yeah. Yeah. Because that's like the closest thing to our skin color. You know what I mean? I'd say a salt. I'd say if you made my skin color. Actually, it's kind of yellow technically. Not to not. Yeah, that's right. I'm like white.

I feel like, yeah. I'm saline white. Yeah, me too. Same here. Maybe we should start calling each other saltine. Chickens. Chicken or chicken colored? Chicken colored?

I don't think that's... No. That's going to happen. No. It's chickens a dock. Depending on the kind. Hens of white, right? That'll fucking know.

I think chickens or whatever. This is why I wanted to smoke pot halfway through. I think it worked out perfectly. Yeah. This is where the trail off happens. We're like, all right. Well, we get nothing. I think white people should be called.

What do you? I mean, I don't know, man. I think that, uh, that Spotify needs, needs to figure something else. It doesn't, this whole thing doesn't, like, I don't even like talk. It's not interesting. It's annoying to talk about, dude. Let's talk about my friend dying. It's more funny hat.

Yeah, you said you got in a fight the other day. Yeah, we got to fight. I want to talk with a fight. Your friend died because he was listening to the Joe Rogan podcast. Yes, that's what happened. He went to an all red meat diet and he died. Yeah. from not eating carbs or vegetables.

Yes. Yeah, that's how we died. What are they got in there? I might have one more beer. I was going to go to the gym tonight, and this is not having it. Not after three beers. I'm about to have a fourth. Yeah.

Yeah, toss me. Oh, shit. Boys are coming out. Yeah, the boys are coming out. No, I'm good. I'm good. Don't, yeah, don't throw it. We don't throw things in this house.

But the fight was we were all at a bar, and we just been angry that whole week, and this guy comes up to my black friend. And he's like, what's up, my N-word? And then we're like, what did you just fucking say? White dude, a black dude. It was Joe Rogan. No, no, no, no.

No, but it was just something like, random white guy. He had like one of those Che Guevara hats. You know, like, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. And then we were like, what did you just say? The guy said it again. And then we're like, are you fucking serious? He goes, yeah, what are you going to do about it? Oh, what time was it?

This is like 3 a.m. outside of a karaoke bar. Nice. In Florida? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Let's go. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Also, the karaoke bar was nuts. I'll get into the story a second because he's paying, but the karaoke bar, there was some dude just,

there was some guy, he had a satchel with the chihuahua in it, and he had, was just throwing money at the karaoke DJ for his friends to go up early on. Like a stripper? Yeah, yeah, but he was throwing it because he had like a girl with him and then he was like throwing money at the DJ to just have the girl go on and sing karaoke. So what happened when, so, so the guy's like, what are you going to do about it? Okay, I, I, all right, this is pretty regrettable. It was him by himself?

Yeah, totally by himself. How many, how many, how many, how many, how many, how many, We're like six deep. Yeah, yeah. We're like six deep, and the guy walks up and he's like, what the fuck's you say? He goes,

what are you going to do about it? And I drunkenly, this is so embarrassing. I would never assault somebody with a glass bottle. That's fucking going. What are you talking about? Dude,

I wouldn't, I wouldn't. But I took a glass bottle and I stood away from the guy and tried to bang it on the table just to scare him outside of the park. Yeah, just to threaten to stab him?

I wasn't going to stab him? I hope he'd hear the noise and say you guys are crazy. Were you going to, were you going to like break it and still hold the handle so you could still... I wasn't going to...

It was bad. It was bad. It was bad night. I probably wouldn't have actually done that. This is what? Like three days after you, you lost your buddy too, right?

We were all so, man. And we were banging it, and I bang the Hineke bottle three times it just does not break. So I just look like a fucking pussy. And the guy's just staring at us. And he's like, what? And then he tackled my friend.

And then they all jumped him. I don't think I would have actually threat. Like, that would have been crazy. But like, I was just trying to like... That's actually probably good. It didn't happen. Because if you did that and you stabbed him, you would have been fucked.

Yeah, I wouldn't have actually stabbed. The whole point is I was just trying to show him, hey, we're crazy, man, because I wasn't even going to punch him until somebody else got involved. Holy shit. I just, this is fucking crazy. I just saw some news here. Joe Rogan has just stormed the Capitol. You sold that very well.

I was like, oh, shit, what happened? So what happened? And it's him, but how old is this guy? Probably like 30, but, like, he was just like a thin, you know, uh, Forrest Gump, you know that guy who, like, beats Jenny? That's just how I pictured him. Yeah, yeah. He was just a very...

I never beat him. Jenny. No, no, my boyfriend. Shut up, Jenna, you're dumping. He was beating Jenny. He was just having sex with her. Yeah. No, the way, he did. He hit her. So what happened? All you guys kicked. I like the idea of force gun beating Jenny. Well, it was like, this is like Vietnam era.

I mean, yeah, it wouldn't have been wrong if he did. It was that lion's son of a bitch Nixon. That's what he says about it. So what happened? So you guys all beat the shit out? Yeah, the blast bottle just does not break. And once again, I don't think I would actually threat. I was trying to do something crazy to show the guy we're nuts. But the glass bottle did not break. How hard were you just?

I just imagine you, like, softly tapping it. Yeah, I thought I would break a lot. I was just kind of like banging it. And I was like, this isn't really working. You were banging. You're fucking... Yeah, but anyways, I tried to Google later. I was like, Heineke bottles are thicker than other bottles, right?

There was just no evidence to support that. I'm just a fucking badge. I'm at the bar with my friends. And a man called one of my black friends the N-word. And I'm there with a hynigan bottle. And I'm tapping against the bar. And it wouldn't break. Is it just me or are they thicker than other than other garage was?

You know, I had a similar situation the other weekend. happened to me. And I was wondering the same thing. So I ran an independent case study where I had a Miller light bottle, a bud light bottle, a bud light heavy bottle. Also different racial slurs were used to say, yeah, and different racial slurs were used to inform the ferocity of which I was slaming the glass bottle. It's like, sports science, dude. Remember that show? Yeah, that show was great. It was sick. Whenever I'd see that, I'm like, I'm about to find out something. They used to put some guy out there, it would be like, how fucking hard junior say out how, how many like, how, how, how, how June you say how tackles you.

Then they'd get like some random white dude to actually take a hit and get a concussion on the show. Dude, the whole show is like quasi-racist because just like a bunch of white people being like, how do they do it. Yeah, but they actually told you how they did it. I know. I know, I know. But, oh yeah, I did the, great show. So, yeah, that was that show, it had a little brief run on, I think on FS Sports.

Yes, that was before Skip Bayliss and Shannon Sharp were there to boost the ratings. Yeah. It was when it was good. That fucking, uh, best. damn sports show. Remember the best damn sport show? Oh yeah. What was that guy's name again?

Who ran that? I don't host. I can't even remember. You had like a goatee. You know what I'm talking about. I want to finish my story. All right. Finish your story.

I don't even care. But, uh... Oh yeah, it's actually a good story. So five of us just beat the living shit out of this guy in front of a karaoke bar for like... Yeah, the guy who called your friend a slur.

Yes, for like four minutes. And then by the bar, this was not about the guy at all. Like, this was about us being mad about our friend die. Like, I wish while, while kicking the guy, I would have been like, this is nothing. Yeah, but he shouldn't have went up and fucking talk shit. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

He wanted to get here. No, 100%. Because if he was like, if he, like, no one does that without wanting to fucking. Yeah, yeah, I take it, you guys want to beat his ass even if your buddy was there too, right? Yeah, yeah, yeah. But the whole thing was like, I think it was like, if you, however you talk with your own friends, that's one thing, but he was purposely trying to per, it wasn't like, he was just trying to be cool and say. Because if he was like, he was just trying to be cool and say, it would be like, hey, that's dumb. But, like, don't, you know what I mean?

Like, don't call him that. like if he was like genuinely trying to hang out with us and thought he was cool for him to say it that's a misunderstanding in which he's a dumb ass but for him to go what are you going to do about it was clearly like I want to fucking fight because he said that he said what do you do you get anything out of that like do you get out of that was a nice little bit out of that was a nice little bit out of God yeah I need we were like God yeah I need to be kind of like we kind of needed that we kind of needed that you're like to talk like we got like we're going to have to testify because of this podcast you guys you guys oh yeah he's going to get testified because of this podcast dude. I mean, baby. Well, the guy, the guy fucking, the crazy person, apparently the guy was smiling the whole time. He was, dude, there's blood coming down his face. He was still smiling. Yeah, because he was dead, dude. No, no, no. It's like a monkey smile when they get mad.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. The dude, it was, it was like, he's like getting his ass to be, hotter, faster, harder, dude, come on. There was a girl and she said he was smiling the whole time. She goes, I think he was genuinely into it. Damn, dude, it's pretty hot. Yeah, it was bizarre. Yeah, it was bizarre. But then my buddy took his little shake of our hat because he had one of those little berets with like the red star on it.

That's so fucking... But he do, you're a communist or racist? He still has a dead? I mean, I think it was more of it. I'm kidding. Yeah. Does he still have that beret today? My buddy...

Well, this was like three days ago, so yes. Yeah. It was pretty in time. Yeah, me three days. You're pretty fresh off that fight. Yeah. Yeah, dude. Kicked us fucking ass.

You want to go? You want to go? We're in all gray sweats. Just feeling like a fucking boxer, dude. All I did is, I kicked him once in the ribs. And then, yeah, that was basically... I think I punched him a couple times. But it was just the anger from that weekend now.

Let's fucking, let's go out and beat me. We should. We should find that. Let's fight crime. The priest story was crazy too. I don't know if I should talk about that. Oh yeah, yeah,

talk about that. We're at the funeral. And it's a Catholic funeral. And this is what the priest literally says, because they don't believe you go to heaven in Catholicism, if you kill yourself. The pre goes, yeah,

you know, because of the nature of what happened, I'm not sure if he'll be allowed into the kingdom of heaven. So he's just implying. What a cut! Yeah. was wild. We're like, what the fuck is going on? And then he backtracked. He's like, to be fair, I don't know if I'm technically going to the kingdom of heaven. They were like, oh, somebody's

gets a fucking dark secret. Yeah. The Catholic church is really one to determine. Yeah, yeah, yeah. They'd fuck, fuck Catholicism. Did you grow up Catholic? Uh, he's Irish and Boston, 100%. Yeah, but, you know, I remember getting my communion and then I remember I didn't want to get my confirmation, but my mother's like, Ryan, you're going to make a lot of money during this. And I was like, all right, I'll do it. Do you have a, you remember your saint? But I excommunicated myself from like... Dude, I'm trying to do that too, because I thought

about doing it, but I was like, I want to fuck it. Oh, you guys got confirmation? I got confirmation. Yeah, I did that shit. Dude, I checked out my confirmation saint. Like, I remember like a few years after I got confirmed. Dude, he was like, uh, like an anti-Semite. Yeah, he's a horrible person.

I remember when the, when I was, it was in the spring. With great ideas. He's the right idea. It's wrong execution. Yeah. No, he's a horrible. He's like, he fucking, like, executed. They were all fucking, fucking.

Oh, he asked. executed someone, yeah. All the other ones molested someone. He executed somebody? Yeah, a lot of, he would execute pagans and Jews. Wait,

your old priest? No, no, no. What is going on? This is the problem with weed. I'll miss here. The person you get named after? I thought the priest who gave you confirmation.

I mean, just killing people in the fucking streets. That would bring people back to church. I was like, you're so casual. Yeah, he was a, Murders. It's not cool. He actually,

how did he say killed? He just executed him. It's fucking, yeah, it was bad. Yeah, I checked that out. I was like,

yo, what the, why would you let a kid pick this person? I didn't know that about him when I picked him. I always picked him about because I was like,

it's a fucking scam. What is he the confirmation scene of? And I was like, I want to pick one like fucking, I was like, it's a confirmation scene of like talking or something like that. And he was just the closest one.

And I just picked him. And then I found that shit out. Afterwards, it was like, hey, he converted a bunch of people thaws us. I'm like, yeah, because he's fucking killing people who wouldn't convert. Yeah, is it kind of a dick. Yeah, he's kind of, hey, turns out wasn't the best of dudes. No, not a joke guy. Yeah, but who was back

exactly. You had to pick a side. 60 years ago. Yeah. I only did my first confession. You don't have to have to pick a side. Hundreds of years ago. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Do you remember your first, my first confession was that I told a dirty joke, which is not a sin, but I had to literally tell the priest. I was like, yeah, there was an inappropriate joke I told. Your Honor, I'm, I begin too much pussy lately. I remember I was to say, your honor, dude. I call my priest, you're on. Your honor. I had a, I can, that'd be really fun. I confess.

We should do a hidden camera thing with like a priest and a confession. That'd be cool. I would absolutely do that. Yeah, that's a good idea. I would actually do that. I'm right. We should definitely do that. I confessed one time.

They're like, well, you got to go there and tell everything you did bad. And I was like, what the fuck? So I vandal. I remember writing my name all over Fifth Street Park and salty. Like what a maca. I just was fucking tagging it up, right and shit. And I was like, oh, it's not, they made me feel so guilty about it. And I was like, now looking back at it, it's like, fuck you.

I was a kid with a maca. Oh, yeah. What are you going to not draw stuff? Yeah. And then I remember, you want to know what's funny? They feel so guilty about it. The police?

I told a dirty joke. Well, email those guys like, yeah, your friend might go to hell. Yeah. And they were like, what you said is way worse to me.

Told a dirty joke. They're molesting kids and not going to jail for it. How about that? How do they have any sort of legit? How do you still? I cannot believe that people believe that Catholic bullshit. Dude,

one of my, my grandma was telling me because she's so go. She was like, yeah, our priest said, let's go Brandon to close out of mass. All right, I'm back on. It's fine.

You know what? Yeah, you're making the, I get it, you know? But it just shows you, though, that it really is just some fucking idiot.

It's a fucking club, dude, it's a joke. Yeah. Jesus, we talked about this before. Jesus killed himself. It was death by cop. Yeah, that's true.

It's like, this guy killed himself. How do you know what happens? You've never died before. You know what I mean? He's like, we don't know technically. Fuck him. But it depends. Yeah, you don't know that about anybody, dude.

Fuck him. I would have punched him in the. fucking face. That was the part that he brought it back around because he clearly saw that he wasn't going well. What a cunt. He was like, oh, well, technically we don't know. But the whole, but it's like, just don't bring that.

It's weird thing to bring up. Technically, I don't know. Then why are we in a church right now, dickhead? Technically, this could all be bullshit. What the fuck are we doing? It also should be a sin to get pussy. Fuck that. Well, if that's the case.

Or, you know, fucking. Yeah. It should be a sin to get pussy. It should not be. Oh, I agree. Dude, I don't even think he can jerk off. You can't. No, no, no.

It's in the Bible. huge tits. There's like a specific, it's how hot she was. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Is that, is that actually true? Yes, if she's not smoking hot. I never sin then, because I bang fucking dad. I never sin. I never said. I never said it, dude. I never sin. I always say no fat chicks. That's the rule. He's the Irish priest. Yeah. It is true though, because the other dude that came up was Jamaican. It's like the

access were off the wall. They all have to have big titty. Yeah, there should not be any Irish priests whatsoever. The only Irish priest I recognize is Jordan Peterson Okay You know Rogan when he said the word It was It was okay

Can you not even drink If you're Catholic too No no you get hammered I went on a mission trip to Haiti And apparently every A priest can priest drink? Yes yes One of my priests growing up

Was a stuntman They can't fuck They can't fuck They can't fuck They can't fuck Shut the fuck up Is it the damn podcast Is it the band podcast?

We're using all of my equipment in my head. You're not getting out of here, dude. Yeah, it's basically your podcast. But, no, it's funny. This priest, like, we went to Haiti and everybody said the priest. You went to Haiti?

Yeah, I went to Haiti. Yeah, yeah. For what? To donate shoes. When? Like, uh... What are you, a part of the American Red Cross? When did you go after the earthquake?

I did. No, no, like years. Well, Florida to Haiti. How long's that for, like, 25 minutes? Yeah, it's not far at all. It's very close. You don't even get in a boat, right? Yeah, yeah, yeah, no.

It was pretty easy. but they said that the father apparently got hammered there and that's so funny the idea of a drunk priest thought it was a UFO I love the idea of just like a priest just hammered in Haiti he's just like dude man fuck build the houses man let's build a fucking bar here

he's just like having these business ideas he built a bar no no no no the priest went down there to help build houses in Haiti but apparently he was hammered on the trip but I love the idea of a drunk Haiti trip we're coming with ideas are you guys sleep up all the time he also used to be the stunt

double for like Sean Connery in James Bond movies. When Sean Conner was hitting his wife. Yeah. Yeah. That was our priest. Yeah. That's pretty cool. You'd get fucked up all the time.

And our other priests would joke during sermons about how, like, he was always drunk. The other guy was always drunk. That's wild, dude. Yeah. What was it back everything I said? What was Haiti like? What was he?

Were you sleeping outside? Yeah. No, no. I was sleeping in, no air conditioning. No, I did like the legit Haiti experience. Yeah. Damn, dude. Yeah.

Yeah. What are you going to do? There's no four seasons down. Yeah. but with less N-words. No, we went in and I was like donating shoes and no electricity, sleep it on a thin mattress. I really didn't. So you said you had the whole, the full Haiti experience.

No, I didn't. You mean full Haiti experience? My father was not murdered by machetes. Yeah, yeah. It was way different. And to donate the shoes that they bought three years ago. Yeah, yeah. That's not the full, the full Haiti experience is like mom getting shot in the head by your cousin in front of

you when you're four and then sleeping in like a mosquito net. Yes, that's more accurate. And then a hurricane coming and absolutely disrupting. Destroying everything. And then Donald Trump throwing paper towels. That's the whole Hadesk. That was in Puerto Rico, you asshole.

You know what, man? That's, is that true? Yeah, because it was after the hurricanes. He probably did that in Haiti too. Yeah, yeah, yeah. They still get hurricanes. Yeah, we'll cut that Trump part out. I mean, we can't.

We can't. Why can't we cut yourself? stuff? Because I got to send it right over. Because it's tonight's episode. Damn, dude. Well, hey. Dan Connie, wrong. Dan Connie not paying enough attention during the Trump presidency. I got Puerto Rico and Haiti confused. I apologize.

For, in the one specific incident, I apologize. I want to start making apology videos. Sounds fun to just really go after it. Every, what if every post of yours on Instagram was an apology? I'm sorry. Then my last apology. I'm going to make one tomorrow. I'm going to make one tomorrow. I'm going to make one

tomorrow for saying retarded. I'm going to make one tomorrow. You know? Should be all for like, mundane things. But do it, do, do, do, do, do, I like the idea of you just in different places saying retarded like they did with the podcast with sliced up. It's just you in different like locations.

Yeah, I'm going to do that. I'm going to do that. I'm going to do that. I'm going to call people with that. Well, what do we? Yeah, I love my favorite word. What was I going to say about Haiti, Haiti, Haiti, Haiti, Haiti. They're doing pretty well.

Mike, Michael, I had the full 80 experience. He's essentially half a Haitian. How long were you there? How long were you there? I was there for like four days. There's nothing. I want to give my. close.

I had the full Haiti experience. I've been there for four days. He had a whole country. Did you swim there? No. Yes, I swim. You swim? Oh, no.

In Haiti. Not in Sweden. They got nice. They have nice beaches there? No. No. Beaches aren't nice. It's a hard place, man.

We should give some money to them. It's bad. Why should we give them money? I don't know. I wanted to save all the bad things I've said about Haiti in the last three minutes of the podcast. Maybe I'll send all my clothes. I just try to save something nice.

Maybe I'll send all my clothes. If I can I just put them in a mailbox and send my clothes down. It's just Haiti. Just put Haiti on them. Two Haiti. I'll send my shit down now. You could do, yeah, yeah. Why don't we send the fucking Amish down there, dude? Fuck the Amish. They would love it there. They'd be like, this is an amazing place. You guys don't have water?

This is perfect. Dude. No electricity anywhere? That's kind of a perfect mix. For real. How mad do you think people in Haiti would be about the Amish? They're like, you guys, wait, have electricity and you're not fucking using it? Pieces of shit. The Amish are selfish. Do you know there's an Amish community in Florida? I didn't know that. In Sarasota.

really look it up it's called like pinecraft and uh dude just pictures of like Amish people on the fucking beach it's actually hilarious what else are they supposed to do I don't know if I can move back to Pennsylvania back to where it came from

I don't think I've ever seen I got like two minutes left by the way we gotta close that pretty soon anything you want to promote are we getting Mexican food after this I'm kind of down I'm located out we could get some fucking margs dude maybe I'll get a mugged am I getting drunk like the 15th night in a row

I know I don't know if I want to get drunk drunk, dude. One more. Right now I want to get drunk. I want to get some chips and sauces, some chips to guac for the table. Ooh.

Some chimichangas. I don't know if I want to eat it. That burger was fucking, shout out to Gemini Dinah, dude. Yeah, Gemini Dyna. Shout out the fucking... You guys had a burger like three hours ago. Yeah, well...

Chris Rose was the host The Best Damn Sports show. Oh, they could say at the Gemini diner. That's right. Yeah, I was going to say, damn dude. How'd you find that out? Yeah, Chris.

We got to close that. Anything guys want to promote? You could follow me. Yeah. at Dan Mancarnie, Twitter and Instagram, and listen to the Morning Good podcast. Oh, thanks, man.

Follow me at, it's Ryan O'Toole. It's ITS, Ryan O'Toole. I do shit on Amazon once a week. Fucking, I got a podcast, Ryan O'Toole podcast and some other shit, so fucking do that. Oh, I forgot. Listen to the Joe Rogan experience.

Yes. All right. We're good. Adios.