Sharktooth Takes NSB - Episode 173
00:00F. Shack.A little dirty mic and the boys.Hey, are you dirty mic and the boys?How you know who we are?What's this?Morning good?I love that.Yeah, it's me with the boner on the front.
00:21Welcome to morning.All right, let's go.We're here with Derek Gonzalez.They don't care about the black people on this pod.You need different lighting.The Jess Levin, we're recording, by the way.The first thing is they don't care about black people on this spot.Yeah, I'm just going on.
00:37Michael Good doesn't care about black people.Michael Good, just like George Bush.Exactly.We're also here.So, Jess Levin, Levi White, and Derek Gonzalez.What's up?What's up?Got a little Latin Afro flavor on this one, dude.
00:48Yeah, yeah, yeah.And we got a lady.Ooh.We got a claim.How long is it been since you've called?I can tell them, by the way, that struck your heart that you're like,I'm a lady.See, if I get treated as such, I'll act as such.
01:00But I don't get treated as such.So I got this way.You see that?You see that?I realized, you know, I learned this the other night.So last weekend I was hosting and this dude came up to me and he was from Egypt and he was like,you're funny, but you scare me.And I think a lot of people get scared by, are you, you're not intimidated.
01:21You know, you're, because you're black and cool.I was like that you're touching him while saying that you're not, you're not intimidated by it.You're not harassing.No, but I noticed a lot of dudes are intimidated by me and chicks.but whatever, they'repussies.But I mean, like, you know.Well, yeah, you have a lot of energy.
01:35So people are like,mm-hmm.Really?Is that why?Yeah, yeah, yeah.That's because of my energy.Levi,why are people intimidated of me?
01:43Yeah.Well, you're loud.Okay.And usually, like,they're calling people cunts.Yeah.True that,but it's just for fun.
01:50You're like a black woman,but white, they don't know how to feelwhen they're yelling.They're like, wait a minute.This doesn't make any sense to take.Yeah.So they shut down.They're scared.
01:57Oh, it's just have a weirdshut down a moment, I feel like.Oh, right, right, right.Well, maybe they should grow up here.That's the fact.All right.I don't know why people are suchpussies these days, dude.
02:06Why did you take the braids out, by the way?Yeah, come on.Okay.We'll get into fucking braids.Okay.Wait, are you going to go, but you're going to go to him?Because you would be baller if you wore him here.I'd give you so much.
02:15Yeah, yeah.In Florida, you're with your people.Oh, in Florida.Dude, people, okay, so this is, I'm going to tell the whole story.This is, I lost my voice.I have one of the craziest three days.I had a fucking blast.So by the way, for six months, the only reason I have, nobody knew it.
02:30I was only doing it for the braids.So you could grow out your hair?Yes.So it was a six month long thing.For every year we do this beach trip, it's the same place we went to high school.And we're like, I'm like, I'm going to get coronos next year.Never had the hair long enough.This year, I'm like, I'm going to make sure that I get cornos this year.
02:45So did you get them up here?Did you get them down there?I got them down there.Pussy.See, you got to get that shit up here and get on the plane, bro.Exactly.That's what I want.You got to make a minute.
02:55Dominicanbarber shopand be like,yo, I need some braids.Like he lookedlike a white exhibitafterwards.Yeah, right.
03:01Or you gotta go to Harlem.You gotta go toone, two, fiveand Malcolm Xand go ask for corners.Well, I mean,I did go to like a black bar.Like, I wasn't gonna go
03:08to a white placeand get cornered.So you got them in Florida.Yes, but to be fair,so they're advertising.There was one white guywith redlocksin the advertisement.
03:14So I felt targeted.I was like,okay, that's for me.Okay.It's let me knowthat like it's acceptablefor me to go there.Right.
03:19And I went.in your Instagram Algo or was thison a billboard back in the Everglades?Or you tried like Google search there or Yellow Page.I looked at corn rows. And also I didn't knowthe first place I called. I had no ideawhat they're like, what kind of corn rose do you want? I was like,I got to go. I'm like, what kind
03:34corn on the corn on the car? I was likeI don't know. So I had to like look them upand then I was like, okay, the straight back cornrows.The straight back. Slave kind?The flave ofkind.But I wed it and I showed her a pictureKenny Powers, like, from Eastbound and down
03:52with all the braids. And she's like, that's going to take too long.I'm like, all right, so I'll do 10 of them.And, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, I'm like, I didn't realize how fuckingbad it hurts. Yeah, it's fucking, I'm like, am I going to crygetting cornrows right now? Like, how much of a bitch am I going tolook like? And, uh, she, she, she was enthusiastic about it.I mean, it's fucking, like, then they twist the shit.Yep, they get all up in that bitch. Yeah, yeah.
04:14Like, they get a fucking, like, uh, what do you call?Yeah, they do. They split that shit. They're not gentle.Yeah, by way, shout out to Tim.at Tim's, Braids and Dreadlocks.You want to sponsor the podcast.Is this in Orlando?Is this in Orlando?You should have got it like prison style.
04:28Sit between a man's thighs.Just teeth is at your fucking.Exactly.Right there.And the moment you feel it is nuts being warm, you're like, oh, we're almost done here.Yeah, yeah.But I was like slightly nervous about it.She's like, you look handsome as hell.
04:41And I was like, all right.And I thought, by the way, I did this because I'm like, okay, it'll be fun to looklike riff, and see what it is.The second I felt it looked in the mirror, I was like, I love this.I was like, this is so fucking awesome.I feel like a fucking badass.I was like, Jesus Christ.I was like, I've never, I've never, it's the best decision I've made.
05:00You know, that stutter.It's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's likeHe's close to me black.He wants the cool card.He's so close to like, he's like, enthusiastic about him.Like, yo, this is like a different level of like, I want to white guys.Enthusiastic about having a black friend.He's like, no, I had the experience.
05:14I want to go back.Exactly.I was going to be like, I understand what you've got.I had to go walk to a Publix, man.And, you know, they ran out of fried chicken.And I asked for it.And they told me to fuck off.And I get it now, man.
05:30I feel you a pain.I'll get some, what's it called?Keen te cloth.Like Dancy Pelosi and all those dumb fucks?Yeah.But I showed up.My favorite is we went to go buy liquor.And we go to a public.
05:44He called the cops.They all right away.They gave Hennessy right away.They're like, this is what you want.Well, that's why I say we're watching liquor stores.That's what kind of liquid you are.Black as he like goes up.They get him.
05:56Hicknostic.But we walk it, I swear to God, the first person we see is an old white guy.I've never been stared down that much.He was like, like, just freeze.He didn't know what to do.And I feel like he for sure went to his wife and he's like,Barber, that grocery store is getting sketchy.We got to stop down there.
06:14Get the fuck.So wait, what else did you get?Like, what, did you go to a grocery store?Did you get any other little?Yeah, yeah, so we got liquor, and then we're just getting hyped about the weekend because I'm like, this is, I'm very excited.Sean Paul comes on the radio, like perfect.I'm in Florida.I'm not sober in Florida.
06:29You don't go to Florida for sobriety.Oh, yeah, I wasn't sober at all.No, when you go to Florida, that's why everyone needs to shut the fuck up.I love Florida, and it's pure redneck debauchous stupidity.That's what you go for.Well, that was when I was like in my hometown.Then I go to the beach town, which is New Smyrna.Okay.
06:47They don't even.They don't even.They don't even.dance at me. They're like not even. Andwe get to the first bar, we're just drinking.I was kind of quiet all day. And thenI have a couple of rum of cokes me. I'm like, I'm fuckingback. I'm fucking ready. I'm like, I'm finally here.
07:00Wait, why were you quiet all day?And what are you coming back from?Were you having a moment of like,I'm wearing cornrows and I'm not representingthis is wrong.Right. Were you having it? No, no, I was justdriving to the beach. I was like in that serious zone.And rather than say, I'm back, not even getting a
07:18fucking four by four, not a two by four.comes flying and almost hits me in the head.I almost fucking die.Where does this fucking come from?Because there was a tent that was nailed infor the restaurant.And I literally like, like this giant plank of woodalmost hits me.
07:31I was like, dude, if I fucking dieright after being like, I'm fucking back.Imagine like final destinationwhen your first day being black like that?You're like, yo, being black sucks, man.It's not a freak accident.It's just the cop shot you.So wait a minute.
07:49So you had a little more.moment of thought and then you get almosthit by a piece of plywood and thenYolo and Rihanna. Yeah, then we go inthe fucking weekend. Now, during theday, people didn't bat up by but when I hit the barspeople were insanely excited. Yeah, they shouldbe. Yeah, people were fucking so hyped.
08:04It was... For your hair? There's people thatactually thought I was riffrapped. They never seensomebody. Yeah, yeah.There's no way this guy just is a whiteguy with Cornynors. He has to be doing something inpoor. How many black girls came up towho was just like, so how long it took youfor your head?
08:20Yeah, really, real questions.No, not.Not one black person came up to you?No, no, no, no.Well, my friends were like, they, like,they knew I was getting, no, not all of them.Not all of them?All right.
08:30So they, my one friend was like, dude, it actually looks good.That was the thing is people were like,pissed.Yeah, yeah.People wanted to be like always good.Yeah, people wanted to look like an idiot.And I think it happens the way she did it.She did it really well.
08:44And I was like, holy shit.She put a lot of time into it.How much should it cost you?100 bucks?Yep, I knew it.God.Damn for some...You should have less...
08:52Like, you should have kept itcoming back into New York.Yeah, I know, dude.I should have...Well, I'll get into thatand it's sexted.So, um...Sexted.
09:00Nice.So I decided...The next day I got my ear pierce,you know, we're just getting fucked up all this.Wait, what's...Let me see your ear piercing.What?I've been, uh, what's it called?
09:09Like, I've been...I closed it up.Oh, okay.So you just got it...You did this all over.You did this all over.You went black.Down in Florida.
09:17First of, I didn't...I didn't go black.It looked.It looked.It looked at it.You went black.You saw the shit.And I was just like, let's think of black as fucking.
09:25I'm like, I would never walk around like that.I was thinking black.I heard mixed reaction.Some people said I look like a white guy trying to be black.Some people said I just look like the Pukeshell necklace.Maybe it just looked like a very Florida guy who's just off the world.Yeah.Which I thought it looked more like that.
09:37I don't think it looked like a white guy trying to.I think it looked like what is going on with that guy.Like it looks like I sell ecstasy outside of like Daytona Beach High School.Oh, there you nailed it.Yeah.That's great.Yeah.That's, God.
09:48God damn.That's perfect.You just don't.Yeah, yeah.Oh, my God.Okay, cool.So then you got your ears pierced?Yeah, yeah, yeah.
09:56Just by my buddy's girlfriend who's like, I've done it before.She, like, fucks it up, like stabs me twice.Ow!Yeah, yeah, yeah.Were you drunk for that one at least?Of course.Good, good, good.Yeah, I mean, fuck.
10:07All right, and this is all in the weekend.So Friday.The days all merged together, by the way.It was just three days of full.So the first day you get there, there's braids.The second, maybe third.You get a piercing.Yeah, yeah, yeah.
10:18And then one.home? Fourth day?Yeah, I head on the fourth day. But the last nightI met the most off the rails person I've evermet in my whole entire life. Somebody that was crazier than me.I wish, I got to send you guys a picture this guy later.There's this guy, we go to the bar andor this just a restaurant, we're grabbing dinner. There's a guy
10:32wearing no pants in a t-shirt. Everybody's like,why's that guy not wearing fucking pants? That's like weird. Like he's notwearing even like any, his balls are out.So we find out, we find out later he's wearing a jock strap.Which is like a step up.But the whole time we think this guy... But the cheeks are out.Yeah. Yeah. The whole time we're like, what'sgoing on with this guy. He's got long white
10:48hair. Right. He's got a zebra headband.Perfect. And he's listening. He has his headphones. Is he one of those like super tanmotherfuckers? Like it's like leather? Yeah, yeah. He's like alike like a just like a fat white old beach guy.Okay. Jeff Leppard, what's in the fucking, did you know what music he was playing in? I'mreally this is, this is how off the rails he was. Okay. Cool. Blasting white noise intohis ears. Oh shit. Wow. That's another. That's a different level of crazy,it gets so much fucking crazy. So like this guy's out of his mind.
11:18And then we're like, what's up with this guy not wearing pants?He goes, pants, who the fuck needs?Why everybody asks me about fucking pants?Every time you mention pants, he'll go off.So I try to tone it down.I was like, oh, okay, what's your name?He's like, I'm Frankie.How's it going?
11:29Nice to meet you.And we start talking a little bit.And he goes, yeah, you know the band Candlebox?I used to manage them.You know the band Three Doors Down?I still manage them.And I'm like, really, and then he does not.We looked into it.
11:40Just not.Complete psychosis.That was the weirdest.Fucking bands to choose from them.Exactly.That's why it's so specific.Like he should have just thrown out Savage Garden.Yeah, yeah, yeah.
11:50Just another probably band you don't even know.Levi, do you know that existence of Savage Garden?I know Savage Garden.Okay, good.So he's saying all this stuff.This is my white noise.This is my white noise.Fucking straight up.
12:03They have that horrible song called Truly Madly Deeply.And it's hard.I'll be your everything.Yeah, that doesn't come on Hot 97.It's fucking.It don't come on anything.I don't even know.I don't even know it was on Spotify.
12:19It's fucking awful.They turned it into T.J. Max Art.Literally, my friend who lives in Floridahas a sign over their bedthat says truly madly deeply.And I'm like, I can't believe my goddaughterwas conceived to that shit above for a while.Horrible.
12:31So, anyway, back to this.So he's like, candlebox is the lead zeppelin of the 90s.People don't even understand how good candlebox is.The best bad.And he's like, the best fucking bad.You don't understand how good candlebox is.I managed it.And then randomly you're talking.
12:46You're making him sound like.an old Jewish, like, you don't even get it.I'll show you videos after the podcast.This is the most unhinged human being.And we start talking about it.And he goes, I fucking love eating pussy.I love him.He goes, I'm going to fucking eat the pussies later.
13:01And so we're fucking with him.I was like, I bet you I like eating pussy more than you.He's like, no fucking way.Nobody likes eating pussy more than me.I was like, do you like Bush?He goes, fuck Bush.We blew them out of the water.They're nothing.
13:12Because he thought I was talking with the band, Bush.So now he's just shitting on Bush.He's like, there's nothing compared to Candlebox.And I'm likeI'm like I'm like fucking wastedI'm like is this fucking happening right nowIs this guy really talking aboutHe manages these bands
13:25He's talking about how much he loves pussyAnd then he's like manTell you what I walked all the way around the worldHe's like I walked around the whole entire worldI was like that's fucking sweetWhat was like Egypt like stuff like thatHe goesNo no no I've just walked so many steps
13:39That it equals around the worldI'm homelessYeahThat doesn't make anyBy the way in the middle of thisthere's like a Floridahorror looking woman that goes up. It goes, hi, Frankieand gives him like a kiss on the cheek. So I was like,
13:52okay, so I guess he's not, there's somelevel of reality. Are you sitting at the bar?Are you at a table? And he's screaming at you fromthe bar. So it's a restaurant with a bar, and we're allsitting at the bar because I was like, I got to engagewith this guy. I got it. But it took a second to get histrust because he's just kind of screaming about how we don'tand I'll be like, I like the song Far Behind
14:08by Candlebox. He's like, fuck far behind.That's their worst fucking song.You got to listen to the deep cuts. It's alsolike, by the way, I also like a month ago was likeOh, does Candlebox have any other songs besides Farby?And they all fucking suck.That's the only good song by them.Anyways.
14:22Did he mention any other songs that we could even like...Summer, summertime, I think you said.Something like that.Summer, summer.That's...But the things you said he goes,you say the candlebox is opening three doors down.And he's like, and they buried them every fucking time.
14:37They cannot follow Candlebox.He goes, the lead singer Candlebox tells me,he says, I'd hate to fucking follow me.I'd hate the fucking follow me.Then I ask him, I go,okay, you like eating pussy so much.How many pussies do you think you've eaten?He goes, okay, so I'm 69 years old.
14:51I've eaten 74 vaginas.I was like...That's the lowest number.Yeah, yeah.I was like, it's not even that much vagina.That's like almost like one and a half vaginas a year.Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.That's like nothing.
15:02And he's bragging about how much he loves eating pussy.Then we go to take a picture of him and he just grabs my friend's girlfriend'stits.Just like, just like immediate.We've known him for like 10 minutes.And he grabs her tits and he's just like, ah-ha, like it's just a crazy.What does she do?I think she laughs it off.
15:17She's like, fucking Frankie.I'm not the only one, man.Yeah, yeah.Which is weird.The guy was, like, when I show you a picture of him, the look in his eyes is just the mostinsane thing.And he only drinks wine.I was like, you want to take a shot?
15:27He's like, no, I only drink wine.That's like everybody gets one situation.Like, it's like, weird ass dude grabs me.It's like, you know what?If I gauge with this.I invited him in Boston.And he just didn't show up.We're a pream's like a street over.
15:39That's a lot of hand to grab him.Right after he's actually harassed my friends.My friend.This guy, this was a meathead I met in Boston.right? I was just going to follow up withso as we wereno Levi wasn't there but I was in Bostonand I told Levi yes he was
15:53and I was with Joe Nunick and Derek Comfreyand there was this guy in the bar who's likeI'm from San Diegoand he was like definition of a meat headbarbed wire tattoofucking likelike stuff rightand his bicep was like the size of
16:09of Joe Nunick's head like it was just likeand he kept on like being in the waylike it was just like his bicepwas just in the way of Nunick.So the whole timehe's just being annoyingand then he,where the bar's closing up
16:20because it's Bostonand everything closesfucking at 1 a.m.I know,they're so lame dude.It's so stupid.It's so beyond dumb.So we get outside
16:28and the guy's standing thereand he's like,I love your tinnies.And I'm like,oh, thanks.And he's like,can I touch him?And I'm like,
16:34yeah,you want to touch him for a second.And I'm thinking of myself,what is it like to get plowedby this dude?Like I can't help but think about it.It's like a retarded thrust.It's just like,
16:44Like, yeah, kind of.Like, I know it's like, I've seen porn up where it's just like, the guy's like,yeah, going in.You know, I've never had that before.And I'm like, you know, I don't know why.It's an experience that I think every lady should check off their box or in their box.Just a retarded doubt.Yeah, totally.
16:59So I was just like, like, oh, maybe a bathroom, whatever.So I'm just like standing there.And then finally I'm like, the lifts shows up.And I'm like, all right, time to go home.I'm like, my lips cared last time to touch him.He goes, I only want them.I want the nipple.And he went to go.
17:12He got my shirt.And the bra, like, went like this.Half my titty's hanging out.I'm dying of laughter holding him back.And Derek O'Reilly and Joe were like, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.Like, they're the serious ones.I'm getting sickly.And I'm like, this is hysterical.
17:28I'm like, this is like, is this what sexual harassment?Like, that's why some chicks, it's like, some situations are just ridiculous.Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.So ridiculous.And it just made me think of that when you talked about that guy grabbing her friend'slike, really?I'm not going to.It's so crazy enough that you're just like, I can't.
17:43This is not even harassment.This is just comedy.Like this is just a clown fucking.It's like ridiculous.Yeah, I support that.If you're listening to just grab it in your hair of tities.You got to do it with the,no,
17:54don't wear pants.You got to have.Just get it in there.A candle box.It's just got to be so ridiculous.They blew them out of the water.That's the Zeppelin of the 90s.It's just like,
18:05yeah,and you're saying what you do it.And you'd be like,and then somebody comes later,be like, why are you wearing pants?You go, who needs pants?Why is everybody asking me about pants?It's so funny to not wear pants.
18:15And he's so mad.And he's so mad.And he's like,somebody brings it up.You talk to the bartender?Like I just want to know.Because people have to know him.Yeah, yeah.
18:22Like Frankie comes to you all the time.See,this is what's great about Florida.We had like this one.When I was living in Naples, Florida before it was all rich, there was still like someswampy, inbred wild things kind of people there.Okay.And there was a guy that would come to the bar and he was supposedly a bounty hunter.
18:39You didn't know much more about him.I've met one of these.I met one of these.Right?Yeah, yeah.Well, this.Yeah.He was a weirdo, like the dog, the bounty hunter people.
18:46And in Florida, there's a lot of them because there's a whole...I didn't know this.You were a certain part of Florida.There's just bondsman, bondsman, bondsman.I don't know what the legality is in Florida.That's why I like...You know what?You want to commit a crime.
18:59Go to fucking Florida.It's just like the perfect...You want to sell opioids.You go to Florida.You want to find the newest hustle and you want to take advantage of a situation.Go to Florida.You know, you need those states for a reason.You got to keep them somewhere.
19:13people exist. So anyway, we wereat this one place and there was a lot of bounty hunters to hang outthis bar and it was the laststanding thing that resembledold school Florida, Napleslike the word crackercomes from. That's what they used to call oldFlorida, right? Isn't that? Not from
19:29from you? Which actuallydoesn't come from slavery. I thought it was thatbut apparently has a different origin. That's what Ithought. I thought it came from Florida. Like white peoplethat lived in Florida, they called them crackers.Yeah, they called Florida crackers. But I thought it was from like whipcracking.People tell me that and I was like, no. That's one of theThat's what we, that's what I thought, too, and I looked at it up.
19:47I forgot what it was.I'm like, I didn't know.You guys had a different version.It was just called these Florida white people.They called them crackers.Yeah, I think it's something to do with your son crack, your skin cracking.From the sun.Yeah, yeah, yeah.
19:57But I was like, oh.Like overexposure and shit and all that.Yeah, like heat and shit like that.We wouldn't know nothing about it.Yeah.Too lucky.So like, I forget.So, yeah, this guy was like, and he supposedly were like boys with the Alman brothers.
20:12but he used to wear these wicked short shorts.His nuts would hang out all the time.And he would know.He just wouldn't give a fuck.His nuts were just out.Also, I believe that any guy at a Florida barthat says he knows a celebrity,Zero.
20:28They're like, dude, I remember there's a guy at this bar.He goes, yeah, I used to work at the comedy store.Yeah, I used to drive Polly Shore around.I was his personal driver.I was like, first up, it's a weird celebrity to choose.They always choose.They always choose.Exactly.
20:40The one that you don't like.want to look to do the research foryou know what I mean?They're like, all right, well, it's a sea person.Yeah, yeah, so I'm not gonna.Jerry O'Connell was my best friend.Exactly, right.Right after standby me and right
20:54before Kangaroo Jack.Like, that's like a 10-year span.Nice, that's a kangaroo Jack.Well, that's a fucking movie.I've never seen it.Saw it in theaters.Oh, it's a bad way.Did you?
21:03Yeah, I was like fucking seven or some shit.No shit.I've never seen.I love the beginning of that movie.The bad guy is like, hey, go along, kid.and he just throws a football into the ocean to, like, murder a kid, basically, which is so wild.It's like, I don't know.It's a weird.
21:18It's a weirdly good movie.Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.When murdering kids was funny.I mean, they're still pretty sick.It's still funny.Beau is afraid is the greatest movie I've seen in a while.Wait, did you guys see the new freaking speed?No.
21:30Fast and Furious.You're like, grandma, I'm talking about it.You ever seen the movie car fast?I know.I do want to wrap around a little bit, though.So the, uh, room, room time.Yeah.I can't take us to
21:45speed go fuck yourselfbut I don't knowyou made me think of Fast and Furiousbecause I've heard a lot of people talk about itI didn't know it's like the beginning of a trilogyIt's another beginning partIt's a beginning of a trilogyIt's got to be three parts
21:59No I didn'tI still haven't seen itI've already a fucking movie that's likeHow many movies are going to end on likeThe 13th or some shitThey're going to end on 13I don't know manAnd supposedly
22:08I didn't know Mamoa's in itYeahAnd he actuallyveryeffeminate.He's a villain, right?He's a feminine villain,but he looks like that.
22:17They do the gay villain thing a lot.They used to do itlike in Disney and stuffand now they're like breaking up.I'm a homo thug.Come out late night after the pride party.Yeah, we'll be like,so which one of y'all niggas
22:29giving the booty up?It's like prison sexall in the alleyways down on Christmas Street.Yeah, you're a nasty for North.Christopher Street?Yeah.Yeah, Christopher Street's where all like the strong transvestite.Can we use this transvestite?
22:45Yeah, so it's like strong.It's like the strong black trainees.I saw, bitches with dicks.Yeah.That's where they all roam.It used to be that, it's that place and it used to be the McDonald's.That McDonald's right on West 4th.No, yeah, yeah, yeah.
23:00So that's where they all used to be fucking there.Right, right.And that was even before I started doing comedy.I was just like, I just knew not to go there.My brother would be like, my brother Jimmy,because I was last year, I was down at the shop.Yeah.And I was working it.
23:10And it sucked.It was probably the worst.worst shows ever.Horrible.And I was telling my brother, I'm like, I'm going home.He's like, yeah, you better get out of there.It gets the late night.You get the witching hour gays.
23:21You're going to watch out for that.Because it's like, you're a woman, but he's like, watch out.Protect your eyes.You're going to be fine.It's like, it's like, it gets, back of the day, it would get volatile.Yeah.Get violent.It would just be like, you know.
23:37And then for good or bad, it just grab in and or being dick.Or being dick.being homophobes and beating the fuckingit just got very... Oh, damn. So it was likedudes by fucking, dudes fighting. Fighting for being for butt fucking orthere's enough dudes butt fucking. They can rape the guy that tried to beat amob. Yeah, exactly. So it's just a lawless kind of... There was a guy.It used to be. That's when, that's when being gay was kind of cool.
24:00That, exactly. That's when it was like... Now it's all mainstream and...Now it's a white girl that's show our titties.Yeah, that's always the day. Every time a corporation does itYeah, I mean, good for you guys. But that's why it doesn't make any sense to be.They fucking put a fucking black lives matter.You said good for you guys?No, because Levi made a...You're wearing matching clothes.
24:15Yeah, kind of.Yeah, you guys kind of are.You're going the blue and you're going...They're faded...It's like the different version of Louis C.K.Whatever.I wear this every day.I wear this shit.
24:25So, no, because Levi made a faceto the titties. I get it.You want to see titties.But it's like so weird to me that these chicks are going down there.It's like, gay.So I can pick my tits out and they'll be safe.I'm like, what are you talking about?Oh, yeah, it's true.
24:37You know?I was showing at Washington Square Parkand we was just like watching all these gay guysjust having fun and just fucking around.I'm drinking.And then they just start fighting like crazy.I'm just like,this shit is amazing.
24:47I've never seen gay men fight.Yo, they fight like crazy, bro.They fight like,they're still men at the end of the day.Yeah.You don't forget me.You forget these sissies are men.Well, also back in the day,
25:05especially if you're like, you know,you can't say transvestite, right?What do you call?Trainees.No, transsexual.Transsexual.Transsexual.Transgenders.
25:12Transgenders.My dad called transgen.It isn't technically right, but isn't wrong either.I like that.I've never heard of my dad.My dad says transgen's.Which isn't offensive.Transgen's.
25:23But it's not the right word either.Yeah, but transgen's.It's like short.It's cute.It's cute.Transgen's.Back in a day, a lot of transgen's hookers on West End on West.They would have switch blades and shit because they had to
25:35to protect themselves.So you never fuck.You don't fuck with like RuPaul back in the day.She used to have a show like.back in the day interviewingas a way ofbeing like represent you knowbecause we're people fucking two assholes
25:49so but you don't fuck with thembitches I always I was like thatyou're people too assholesyou're hypothetically arguing with somebodywho's not here as somebody elseyou're like hey we're fucking peoplewe have goddamn rights and fucking transphobicthat's the spirit of June baby
26:06yeah and Juneteenth it's funnythe people that hate homophote like homopholesThey did that shit on purpose, bro.They put that shit together, man.They did that shit on purpose.Yeah, dude.But at least they give us a day off now.So it's like, we could take the time to relax and be like,
26:19you know, these niggas is gay.Yeah, I forget.They gave up what?What did they, what did they give up?What did they gave up?Probably Arbor Day or some bullshit.Not Arbor Day.I think it's either memorial because of the unions, I know for having to pay.
26:31Wait, so that's where they have to give up a holiday to get another holiday.Yes, that's what they did.That's so stupid.They can't just give us a holiday.That's ridiculous.They're like inflation.We can't just be making holidays.I think it's either Veterans Day.
26:41I think it was Veterans Day.They gave a Veterans Day?They gave a Vets Day for your day.Damn right.Bullshit.I'm sorry.But they did for the union.Because I remember when we had to pay.
26:55I was like, wait a minute.Because we used to have to,the Vets Day was the holiday.Now Juneteenth's the holiday pay.And all the producers are all nervous cunts.They don't know what to do.They're like, we can't work.But if we do work, we got to pay them.
27:07But we shouldn't work.You know what I mean?Depending on how.like the crew, how diverse the crew is.Yeah.They're all like stepping on like, you know,because if they need to get the shot done,they're like, well, you got to pay a holiday pay.
27:19But if you,yeah,that's why you got to give the pay off.It's like,that's like,after George Floyd,I was like in June teeth was thing.I was like,
27:25there's a zero percent chance.Well,June team didn't happen because George Floyd died.No,no,no,I know.But what I'm saying is like,
27:31I'm like,there's a zero percent chance.They're going to ask,like they're not going to treat it like a holiday.Oh, yeah,they're going to eventually.Yeah.I was like, they can't be like, that's not a real thing.
27:38I knew it was a real thing when, like, they actually put in the Google calendar.Like, before it wasn't in the Google calendar, it was like, it literally just said June 19th.Then they're like, uh-oh, June 19.June 19?Is that good, guys?I know they're doing a temperature.Yeah, they're like, yeah, I need that little notification.Yeah, I know, right.
27:56They're totally.My favorite thing I saw is there was a CEO of a company.I'm not going to say, I'll tell later.But he posted on his thing on Black History.he goes, well, every dayfor me, he's a white guy. He goes, every day, every monthfor me is Black History Month. Thatbeing said.
28:15I was like, wait, so is gayis that also Black History Month? It's like, isWomen's History Month also Black History Month? I know.I know. That's so insaneto be a white guy. Be like, listen, every monthis Black History Month for me.Yeah, I know. But it'sthat whole thing. It's like even Spanish
28:32like they don't even get a full month. No, they get halfof September and half of October.Right.They get it.You know where that's from.An old saying, you're acting like a Puerto Rican on the 15th of the month.Oh.That's fucking.
28:45What?You're trying that shit.I was like, I'm like, that could that's a thing.Yeah.I'm not Puerto Rican at all, by it.Racism.Every Spanish person hates every other Spanish.I know.
28:59That's why I love them.But that's why I was like, that's believable.But so do Asians.Yeah.Every Asian.They hate each other.They hate each other.Chinese, Japanese, Japanese, Koreans.
29:06they all fucking, you know, that's what's so great.Hate's everywhere.Hates sees no color.It's just hate.Yeah.Hate you have a month.I mean, whites hate, like, dude, the, freaking, if you go to the Brits and the Irish,you got the Catholics and the Protestants, that's white on white.
29:20You see somebody being racist against an Irish guy?Like, that's how you know it's a rough neighborhood.That's how old it is.They're still dealing with, like, old time.They're like, you're like, you're, Polack's moved in.It's like, what?Totally, good.What fucking year is it?
29:34That's fucking great.I lived with a cute.Cuban and a Puerto Rican in my freshman year.And they fucking hated each other.Because the same flag just reversed.You're right.True that, dude.But the Puerto Rican was mad cool, though.
29:47She was fun.She was fun.The Cuban was also a girl?Yeah.It's just a female thing, I guess.Well, she's like, she's more like European.And the Puerto Rican had more like, she's a boy.That is always funny when there's like a blonde person or like, there's a lot of,
30:04there are white Hispanics, just like they're black Hispanics.Derek, there's likeLatin America is fucking just like us.But that's why it's always funnythough when person's like, I'm not white, I'm Hispanic.You're like, well, you're a white Hispanic.You know, it's like you are both of those things.That's funny. You know Juan Nicolone? He's got a joke
30:18about that. He's like, because where he's from in Uruguay,he's like, I'm white. And then I came here and they're like,no, you're diverse.Yeah. You're brown. And he's like, what?I'm white.Like he doesn't like, he didn't like, you know, especiallyLatin America. That whole fucking place is justfor sure. But it's also funny.
30:34It's a wild, wow, West.It's everyone and everyone.race.I was hearing about somebody who's given this speech about how like their ancestors were raped bywhite people and they were very white Hispanic.Yeah.No,no,
30:44your ancestors.Was doing the rape.Yeah.Technically,I've always said,technically you are on the math work.Technically,it is 50-50.
30:53So technically like if your ancestors were raped,your ancestors were also rapists.But I was like when you're that,what, you were the most raping.Yeah.I guess, right?I mean,I don't know.
31:03Rape.I think that's on like,every ancestry has.got everywe all have a littleway in ityeah that that's allrape wasn't illegal
31:10until like1960sin 23 and meit's like thispercentageof you was rapedand then likeyour ancestry
31:16was raped by thisjust a hundredpercentratewhen it's allmixed it's likejust rapeyeah
31:22yeahyeahthat's howyeahyeahyeah because that's howlike especially likelike Vikings
31:29do they justcome to your townand justrape everybodythey comeand they camethey camethey came
31:35they camethat's just suckyou know whatImagine being hung over.Isn't that correct?I was thinking about this the other day.Isn't it fucking insane?Yes, Mongolians.
31:43That's not a raping.That's a prick.That's a trick.That's a what?Small dick joke.Come on.The black guy can't make a small dick joke.You got a little bit of him and you.
31:54I don't know.Look at your shit.No, my shit is pure.Ebony.And I agree.But I was that I was like, it's so weird that.hangovers have existed forever.Like I never thought of that.
32:09Like that George Washington was hung over at some point.That's like wildly weird.They even worse because of the sugar intake, dude,because they were drinking like fermented.Yeah.Like it's not they're like drinking clean fucking shit that we had.They weren't drinking much water.Right.
32:22And yeah.That's all they're going to get desistary and die.It's just crazy thing about like King Tut like vomiting.It's like nobody fucking talk to me right now.Like that's just weird.Well,they're making a new king Henry the 8th with,what's his fucking face?
32:36It's going to annoy me.I think it's Jude Law.Yeah.Right?And they're getting all up in arms because he's grotesque as fuck in it.Yeah.Because he was.He had like, he had his Levi's disease, gout.
32:50Because Levi's.Leo, I got the gout.Yeah, he got a little gout.Like an old black man?Yeah.I got the sugar.Levi would be like, y'all, I got the gout kick.He got me.
33:03He got to do it.He seriously.The poor guy's got to cut down on you.What is my blacker than me?He never had the guy.Locks up toes.He's fucking puffs up and shit.It sucks.
33:10Yeah.He's very upset about it.He can't drink anymore.Are you serious?Yeah, I'm not drinking.Yeah.Well, good for you, bro.Yeah.
33:17Shut the fuck out.You're stupid wine of tequila.No, it's not.Yeah, you've been drinking tequila.I feel like randomly, the last five minutes of the podcast, you're going to be blackout.Tricks out of him.I hope to pee on the couch like I would.Yeah, your old man, pan.
33:36I like my old man pants.Yeah, you can rock that shit.I gotta get you that.But, uh...Yeah, so hanging over.So, so King James, they're making, like, that's what I'm saying, all the old fucking people, and they smelled.Like, I mean, it's no time.We just, like, stop.
33:52Yeah.Oh, yeah.Those women, they make them so sad.They should have just busted ass.No.They're busted ass in breads.All those king, they were old.It's like, I like a baby arm sitting on.
34:01Bring it out, pulling my mouth.Yeah, put it in my mouth.I want to stick you, but.Oh, she's the most beautiful woman in all the land.He's cocking in my sucking next.He'd be slipping my flippers and it's cock, eh?Whip them peckers out.Put that Willie and me.
34:21Let me get his sneak.Not as dirty as the last one.This one got no warts.They were sick, fuck, man.They would have, like, gang green and just put perfume over it.There's some flowers.That's why I can't do it.It's like, this is the worst time to exist.
34:42It's like, go fuck yourself.Dude, are you out of your fucking mind, man?Dude, we had a, like,a world pandemic.Yeah.Where people would die and they're like,oh, we'll make a vaccine real quick.Are you kidding me?
34:54That back in the day, like, I was thinking about thiswhen I was taking a shower.I'm like, it's awesome that we have indoor plumbing.Thank God.You know, right?Because I love a bath.I love a shower, dude.I love a shower, well, I like a bath,
35:05but it's just like a bath.I take a shower first, then I take the bath.You know what I mean?How long do you take a bath for?You'll be in that bathtub like Red Run, bro.I'd be in the phone just be chilling.You play it.Cilke and shit with your fucking head.
35:14I've said it before.I'm going to say it again, my bathtub game.I do this game, right?I feel.He's got rubber duckies?No, no, no, no.You got candles and shit.I call it the sandbar.
35:25So what you do is you get in the bath, right?Of course.You turn on the water.You have to jerk off and come in your stomach before the water hits your stomach.Ah, ha.Ah.So it's a race against the clock and you can't use video.Because you don't want to come to float and touch your chin.
35:41You know it, yes.Yes, that is why.That is why.Come floats?Yes, and you can't, you can't catch it.You can't catch it.It's like an egg shell.It's like a fucking egg shell.
35:51You can't catch it.Can you put your dick out and have a dick like suck it back in?What do you talk?You know, I can't suck.Come into my dick.This is what you start showing a woman like.I know.I'm like.
36:03I'm like.You cannot suck gum into your own dick.Well, I was just saying, it would be funny.You said like an egg shell.You can get an egg shell by taking another egg.It's like baggates.So I get more cum in my hand to scoop out the gum.I cover my hand in different juice and try to have it.
36:16Just got a bucket full of cum next to the bag.People make like wax of their hands or something shit.You just have to keep coming on it.Your fucking bathtub must be slippery.Yeah.That's like fucking Rikers in that bitch.Do you play the, ew?Oh my God.
36:32It's the Christmas Street alleyway.It reminds me like, fucking, you ever see ASAP talk about when he was in prison?Aesab Rocky?No. He's talking to another guy, Aesab Ferg.He's just like, yeah, I was out here.People were testing me going hard.We had to fight in the fucking shower.I'm out here slipping on semen.
36:48That's got.That's poetry.Yo, his first is just like,you don't know shit about fighting in the combat.You're like, what?You're like, no, bro.It's okay, man.You're good, man.
37:04You hold, you hold.That's crazy.You know it's like.Levi, you made faces, though.You don't do bath.Bats are disgusting.You're animals, all of you.You fucking pigs.
37:20Just living in your own slop.No, it's ewes.Also, you're doing a backwards.What's wrong with you?You got to take the bath first, then the shower.No, you take the shower, because you don't want to clean the bath after.You don't want to make it dirtier.You know what I mean?
37:31You did actually make sense.You didn't actually make it.Yeah, that makes more sense.Because you take the dirt off first.shit off and then you get into the bath.You see, he's just a dirtymotherfucker. You just revealed yourself.Do you know what, dude? The Japanese are very cleanly
37:42people and they're in the baby. You didn't geteverything off, your asshole, everything.You know, you got a scrub, bro.You still got a 30, dude.You know what the washcloth?You know what the washcloth is?I know what a lufa is.You see?
37:57You just told all of Harlem,all of Thompson and that's great.Yeah, that's great.Come fight me.That's an annoyingshit I've heard of my life.The streets, listen,the streets,
38:11Levi on Instagram,follow him,see where he's coming and fight him.This is a call to action.Beat his ass with a looper.If you're not soft,you will beat Levi with a luf.No,
38:23bring a soap on a rope and beat the shit out of himwith the soap on a rope.Wait, so you lufa and you use washcloth.What do you use?Washcloth, man.Washcloth is more efficient, bro.I use my hands and I don't wash myself.He's the actual fucking stupid white.
38:38White shit.Do you wash your legs?So what do you do for exfoliation?Barely.Because the lufa helps with exfoliate.I got a nut.You nut?Well, I mean, you got better skin naturally.
38:49Yeah.You put,I just scrub hard, bro.That's it.You scrub hard.Just scrub hard.Get in there.Locian, right?
38:56Yeah, lotion to oil.Locian oil?Baby oil?Like, nah.Like a caster oil?Castor oil is fine.Caste oil.now you suck in like this uh fucking after after shower oil type shit what do you use to do you put what do you put on put shit on my face that's it
39:12I'm fucking see no you got to put shit on yeah you got to put shit on yeah wait you don't put soap on your bodyno we're talking about afterwards oh okay do you do you hydrate do you put a what do you put a no I haveI don't really get acne yeah he's just like I don't need a wash because I don't get acne yeahAre you in high school?I don't get zits.I don't even take showers anymore.Yeah, that's that good shit.I don't know what the fuck to say about it.
39:38Dude, you don't put any lotion on to keep it hydrated?No.Your girlfriend never trying to change your like a, like your wash routine.I'm not letting her change me.I guess I'm a bitch.I'm a bitch.Don't listen to them.Okay.
39:55My girl's like, do a little face your mask once in a while.I'll put, I'll put like, well, not anymore.Why?This is how disgusting.Oh, okay, but you did, right?Yeah, I got a pussy.All right, well, then, you know, so that, you know.And I was pretty clean beforehand.
40:07Yeah, exactly.If I have a rash, I'll put the cream on every other day.He says it like, if it's like, it's a Tuesday, I get a rash.I get a rash.I get rash.Maybe because I'm not exploited.He's like, oh, is this 100% linen?What's happening here?
40:22Wait, wait, what kind of rash do you get?Just all over Johnson rash is.Johnson rash is.Get fucking shit on here.And, you know, I get it.Like I called this dick of Johnson.Johnson.Yeah, yeah.
40:33Do my buddy start?I heard that this weekend.That's how Johnson and Johnson became Johnson and Johnson.Why?I thought it was just two black guys.Yeah, Johnson and Johnson.Like I'm like dick.Shit.
40:45We made a vaccine.Because that's being incognito, man.But I think you need to start fucking.You need a lufa.Yeah, or a washcloth.They make men products now so you don't have to feel.I bought a shower cap when I had braidsYou're thinking about the braids
41:04Let's go back to thisYeah let's get back to the bridsI'm really pissedListen you spent $100 and you didn't come back with the braidsAnd the piercedureSo what is this?You know what this tells me this never happenedYeah
41:15There's hundreds of pictures to documentNoNoNoThat one white girl that fucked the black guyShe's like I did itAnd we've seen those picturesHis name's Emmett Till
41:27Yeahsorrytell themshe's good for hershe's good she'sshe's for the people I guessbutbut uh
41:45I had a work presentationand part of me was like howfucking raw would that be if I hadrose in for thatyou walked in with fuckingyou don't have been so sickbut umThe worst part was
41:59We clean the whole Airbnb, right?Normally you don't want to face the hostThe Airbnb, you're like, whatever.We clean the whole fucking houseAnd then we realize we don't have the key.So the host has to come over,and I'm like so hung over,My ears are bleeding.
42:11There's like blood and I have cornrows on it.By way, I have eight ball beads.The beads are like black eight balls.Nice.Yeah, yeah.Shut up.On the bottom?Yes, yes.
42:21Dude.Like, if you were black, like, you set us back.But like,Right. Do you know what I wish you had?I wish you had a tie-dye shirt that's like all with likelike stripped with like the beads on the bottom of the shirt that a lot of bitches wear.Yeah.I'm talking about.
42:41Yeah.Like a cover up.I wish you would wear that.It wouldn't fit the fit.It would fit the fit to fit.Dude, it would fit.But, um, and then the, uh, my favorite is the picture with the gun.Because that's a good picture.
42:52I was just so hung over.I was like, whose fucking gun is this?Yeah.I'm like, what happened last night?Wait, whose gun was it?I never held a gun in my life.Really?I held multiple.
43:03It was one of my friends, but I was like,I was like, yeah, can I take some pictures with it?He's like, yeah, of course.Respectfully, I don't know.What do you want me to sell?Allegedly, one of those sheds.You're all, respectfully.But yeah, I never held a gun before.
43:17I don't think I need to learn about a gun.I'm scared of a...Really?You might be a liberal cuck at this point.Well, you know why?If I, if I, my temperate, I should really have a gunshot.You don't have to hold it on.You just shoot it once I'm going to leave it there.
43:32Yeah, but then I like it.You know what I mean?I don't want to like.You don't want that new rush.I don't want that new temptation, dude.Dude, when you have eight balls and your beadsand you're holding your friend's handgun, you're like,when you're having an eight ball and you got your friend's handgun, I'm like, yeah, that's my,
43:44that's my, that's exactly what I'm a fucking afraid of you.You think I'm a person?And I'll tell you what?I'd be the first woman shooter and I'd fucking not miss, dude.I'd do it right.Damn right.Right, dude.Yeah, but I don't want to.
43:56There's no, I should not learn.My friends used to do that in high school, they would just get fucked up and just go shooting.Yeah, of course they would.Yeah, go in the woods.Yeah.Yeah, that's Florida.Yeah, that's Florida.See, that's white.
44:07This is Florida.Revolvers are lit.I never had a.I just spent it one time.Jesus Christ.That was crazy.Yeah, no.That was in Honduras too.
44:14So I'm like, that's horrible health care.Oh, my God.In Honduras.Oh, my God, dude.That is bad ass.Then they go after your family just because you shot a man's gun that is like, it just,because of way things are found there.I don't fuck with Honduras, man.
44:29It's not a bad place.It's a horrible place.Dude, yeah.I don't hear anybody from Brooklyn being like,I'm going to Honduras this week.That is always very funny.They're going to the DR.They're fucking that up.
44:41Costa Rica's been.I never hear one person say I'm going to Honduras.Not a one.There's no cruise ships going to Honduras yet, is there?No, that has to be.No way, dude.We have a nice.Nice ass beach, bro.
44:56Do they?We have a nice-ass beach, but then once you leave there, then it starts getting sketchy.Right?Like literally...You know, literally one time we had to go from this place called San Pedro Sula.And then from there to Toguza Galpa.And within that...Making words up.
45:11No, but from there, you have a seat.You gotta get them breakfast.You get the but cerella.Oh, my bad.Am I like one of those of Italian-Americans?Yeah, you know what I mean?The mortadella and no other than they say something.say regular shit.
45:26They're like, yeah, but like, you know, I'm outside.That's like a lot of Latin people that I know.They're like, yeah, you know, and then we went to fitness with a lot.It's like, all right, dude, shut the fuck up.Relax.No, but between those two spots, there's like a big bus that'll take you from those twospots.They will have cars that'll stop in front of those cars just to rob the people that are on there.
45:40That's what I'm saying, man.Which I can't blame them.It's easy money.To be honest, it's really is.It's easy picking. Somebody comes up to me with the guns.Like, here you go.The driver has a gun on me.The driver always has a gun.
45:51The driver always has a gun.but they also have more people and more guns.So it's likeand how much you care about these motherfuckerslike that. Exactly. Exactly. Fuck that. And I'm not going toand they're probably eight years old that's fuckingholding you up. You got to shoot an eight year old. That'sfucked up. And they also do that at the fucking airport
46:06too. Like they'll like try to help you reach a luggageand they'll throw their luggage into like pickup trucksand try to ride off.It's so much.There's just fun, bro.Dude, that's funny. I can't say I blame them.It's easy.It's easy.
46:21Fucking easy pickets.It's like back of the day, you're coming in the Port Authority.Yeah.Like it's one of those countries where you don't dress up before you get to the place.No, no, no.You don't wear shit.You dress like you're a bummiest.So then they'd be like,
46:32does he have money?Bumiest.Bumiest?Oh, you dressed the bummiest.Your most bum.Your most bum.Your optimal bum.Right.
46:41What time is it, by the way?We're good.624.Oh, okay.Yeah.So you dress like that.So then they don't think of robbing you.Oh, no shit.
46:48So when you rolled up, what did you, did you have this shit on here?I don't know.I would never dress like this.I'd probably just wear some fucking regular bullshit cargoes from Old Navy.Yeah, but what do you do when you're like me?What do I do?Just wear this.This isn't a fashion police, nigga, the fuck?
47:04No, I'm not saying that asshole.I'm going to get robbed no matter what.I'm white, right?Nah.I stick out.Yeah, you got a decent enough.Like, they're like, that's a lot.That's a lot of rob.
47:13That's a lot of rob.Yeah, yeah, yeah.That's why I'm always protected, man.Mm-hmm.When you walk, that was raised that way.It's like, you got to be like, you know, you want to, you want to, youwant it you want to like frat boys don't fuck him because i'm six one that's like yeah that's trueoh that's the ones they'll go after the frat boys no i'm just like i'm just saying i'm like if i walk
47:28around like a bunch of frat boys they don't try to fuck me because i'm six one they think but thatthat right levi and good yeah i blend then i was maybe more michael a little bit but levi's justkind of like he might be like a serial killer face or something yeah he's not here for likeif you brought a beefcase they're like yeah i'm not fucking with that levi i got analytical eyesi think like it's one of those things like if you see him looking around you like i don'tfuck with that.Yeah.Yeah.
47:54This is a fucking Labrador.The buddy's too is like,Who wants a peanut collada?Well, the buddy to do is I was talking to say what I normally do.So I was like, oh, I'm sorry, miss.Like, I was talking like exactly like that.But with Rosen.Yeah, but you would be the guy.
48:13Until I started going by shark tooth.Like half of the weekend, I was going by shark tooth.I was telling everybody I'm shark teeth.Then that was a fire.That is a good name.I would say.But I would, I can imagine if, like, you're on a bus that gets held up.You're like, I gotta go to the bathroom.
48:26Like, you know what I mean?Like, you're like the worst hostage.Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.You would not be a good hostage.Like, you would make me, I'd be like, shut the fuck up good.Yeah, yeah.You're putting in some deeper water.You're like, well, I'm just saying, if we're going to die,
48:37like, are you going to do it here?Are we going to, kid, I got these mushrooms?Yeah, yeah.Like, I feel like you'd like make it worse.Yeah, I try to make it better back.I'll talk it over, guys.It'll be cool.And then they'd be like, we're going to kill you fast.
48:50Yeah, exactly.Especially if I'm drunk.I'll try to relate to fucking anybody if I'm hammered.Hanging out with a fucking homeless guy for like an hour.I know.Just trying to talk to Indonesian lady.Seriously, then.Did I hear your name saying meatbone?
49:07Listen, I notice you have cornrows.I want to tell you something.I know the plight of getting cornrows.That pain that you must have gotten.That hour.That will never get back.I paid $100 for mine.How would you pay for it?
49:22It's like $100.Now I'm definitely robbing your ass.Yo, you had to know they probablywhite guy taxed you.For sure.Yeah.How much have you gotten Cornrose?No, never in my life.
49:34I was always like a dark Caesar kind of dude.You know what I mean?Just like.Dark Caesar kind of dude.Just like it's just always like put together.But like even when I grew my hair,I never thought of like it in braids.They could white tax the shit on me.
49:46That was,it was the best.decision of my whole entire life.Well, I really wish you would have...A lot of people probably have issues with it, but I...I have to say, I wish that you would rock that.I wish people would do shit like that up here because it would set more of like aholy shit.
50:04Yeah, just like, yeah, because you know what?I hate every fucking white comics.Like, I'm going to get a mustache.Ooh.Yeah, come up with fucking braids.Yeah, yeah.They're like, ooh, I'm going to fucking get a mullet.Aren't I off the rails?
50:14No, get Rose put eight balls in them.Get a chintstrap beard.Here's your ears. Get a shark tooth necklace.Go buy shark tooth.That's funny as fuck.Yeah.I think you need to do this as a character, to be honest.Dude, I thought about it.
50:26I thought about it.Do you know Janice does that thing?He's like, which up?There's Derek down.He does Derek.There's the Florida guy.Yeah.He's fucking great.
50:34You should do a thing where you're shark tooth.Yeah, yeah.There was a couple of variations of shark tooth.There's a very...Definitely has a black girlfriend.Definitely, definitely, definitely.Yes.Yeah.
50:45There was a couple of variations.There was like...She's like a...SWV nails and shit.One of those bitches that believe in crystals and shit.Yes, yes, yes, yes.Smells of butchuli and shit all the fucking time in Sandalwood.Yeah, it doesn't fucking...
50:59Right, that's totally it.Yeah, I got to get a bowie knife.If I had a fucking butterfly, dude, that would be fucking sick.Just you know what I'm talking about?Those butterfly knives?Yes, dude, if I was just rocking one of those, a pediguana.That's a Florida man right there.That's a Florida man right there.
51:15See, that's the thing is everybody's like,oh, you look like trying to be black.Like, no, no, no, this is a different direction.No, no, no.This is...There is a special Florida.Yes.I don't want to call it trash.
51:25It's like patched out from generation to generation.That is a Florian, like, just been there forever.That is an amount, like, that is, like, generational Florida swamp person.It was like the first white guy to come back from Jamaica.Oh, shit.Oh, we got, we got a wrap up.Oh, man.That's...
51:41Fucking camera died.Oh.I said the last five episodes, I'm going to get a new character.I'm gonna get more batteries or some shit.Yeah, no.No.We used talking about this.You need a fucking nerd producer, bro.
51:53You need a fucking...I do, yeah, yeah.Just like a skinny, lame, white guy.Yeah.Yeah, yeah.Just pay him in and spot.He was like, do you want me to edit the partswhere you talk about Shark Tooth?
52:02Do you want me to put those in or out?You did say the N-word.Levi said,do we need that?Do we bleep it?Shut up, bitch.This is Shark Tooth's territory.Levi didn't say it, Sharktooth,
52:18say it.The one thing aboutShark Tooth, too, is we're at a restaurant.I like the idea that Shark Tooth is still orderinglike kids food, though.Like, he's hard as fuck, but he's like,yo, y'all got Capriestan on the back there.Y'all got Dino Nuggies.
52:31Okay.Dino Nuggies.He's like, Dino Nuggy!Dino Nugges is late.Dude, oh, like, you're like Tracy Morganand fucking Dirty Rock.Be like, yo, you got any apple juice?Okay, I'll take a vodka tonic.
52:44We do, we dogot a wrap up.What do you guys want to promote?I don't know.I got a podcastbut I don't knowthe name of it yet.I'm in the middle
52:50of figuring that out.Derek's going tofucking pregnatesomebody this weekend.That's where I'm going to push out.I got a showevery Sunday at 6 o'clockat Harlem
53:01the shrine.We're doing a special showin the BronxJune 21st.Jutee, good support.Oh yeah, our June teen show'sgoing to be fucking fire.We're going to have a live band
53:11and shit.Are you really?It's weird.You didn't book me on all days.Yeah.Strange.Strange.And what else?
53:18He's gay.Gay as fuck, bro.Shout out to June.Oh, yeah, Comedy Fight Club.I'm on there.I DJ sometimes when I'm not busy.Yeah.Good DJ.
53:27DJ don't believe women.Every comic will never stop calling me that on like a show that's not a roast battle.They'd be like, oh yeah, give it up for a DJ.Don't Believe him.I'm like, niggas, they don't know this shit.Just call me a DJ.But then they still laugh.And I'm like, all right, whatever.
53:47Hey, cool.Levi.At Tuffloff comedy.Wednesday at the Comedy Shop.Nice.Levi the White on Instagram.Bye.Thank you.
53:59Peace.
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