Morning Good - Superman Randy, Round 2 - Episode 89

Episode Date: June 15, 2022

Thanks to Randy for coming back on the show and sharing some of his stories. Make sure to check out some of his acting work in Don of 42nd Street. And If you would like to book Randy for an event go to nychappystrippers.com.Thanks to Paddy as well, he's on IG @paddy_is_funky and Twitter @paddydefino.As always, find Michael Good on Instagram @michael_good1125 and on Twitter @agoodmichaelThis podcast was produced by Paxton Fleming, you can find him on Instagram @yaboypax  

Thanks for the F Shack. Love dirty Mike and the boys. Hey, are you dirty Mike and the boys? How you know who we are? What's this? They called the podcast? Morning good, good. I love that.

Yeah, it's me with the boner on the front. Welcome to morning. And now we're recording. So you bring a beer into the bathroom. Yeah, yeah, that is a sketchy move to do. I don't know why I. Yeah. It feels kind of alcoholic, he bringing my job.

drink into the bathroom? We're just talking about it. I was like saying, every time I, if I'm sitting at the bar, I got to, I take my beer with me and I go to the bathroom. So I don't know who's going to put something in it or who's going to take it or. Yeah, there's a lot. There's a lot of things. Maybe somebody might just sit in my seat and say, whoa. The girl says, that's not your beer. Your beer's over there. And she might, you, yo, I forgot to tell you, the guy drank and you didn't tell me that he drunk out of it. Yeah, then you mix up drinks in. Oh, by the way, is there your chance you can hold a little closer?

Sure, sure. Awesome. I feel like, by the way, introductions. I'm here with Patty Cefino. Hey, glad to be back on the program. Yeah. Not that professional. And we're here with Randy.

Little Randy back in the house. Yes, a little Randy back in the house. If you haven't heard the first episode, it was an earlier episode. Randy's a little person stripper. And also done a fuck ton of acting. Yeah, quite a bit. Yeah. Yeah, we were talking about your appearance on the Chappelle show.

Day Chappelle, yeah. You got to meet him Three episodes, met him It's just crazy Because like for me and Michael To meet Dave Chappelle It would take like 15 years of like Oh no, I met him

But I was drunk I met him one time At a comedy So everybody was drunk as shit He was like doing like He does like little after parties At comedy clubs Because that guy likes to part

Like he just likes to get drunk and shit And I met him like three It wasn't like a personal meet It was just like hey How's going You know one of those like just Right So it wasn't like I get to

How you do I? Yeah Yeah But it was not like I'm working in the same environment as you think. It's like it would basically be like if I was walking down the street it met him. Like it wasn't like the same level of like.

He's a guy that he can make you laugh. Totally make you laugh. Yeah. He just commands the room. That night we did the show. It was a long, long day. He got on the bus. He had everybody going just to get everybody feeling like

like everybody's like in a bad move, long day. He just pushed up a little more. Okay. Does he roll with like a cruise? Does he have like, people like, he has his own, he has his boys with him? His boys, yeah. That's, I want to get to the point in my career where I can just have my boys rolling around. Yeah.

You know? Might be random people, though. Just like, people have been friends with since middle school. People are like, who the fuck is this guy? He's not celebrity. I'm like, no, but he might not look like a college pamphlet. It'll be like every shape and size and color of human being. Oh, the most diverse, just squad of people.

Yeah. It'll look like the Avengers or something. Yeah. But there is one guy that's always with him. I think it's his, his writer. And I think he's a. juice of two of the show. Oh, Neil Brennan? Maybe that's...

White guy. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah. Big Dweeb. Always he, always with him. Yeah. What thing I heard, he was on Joe Rogan recently, and he said the most depressing thing. He was like, I've never felt joy before. Oh, God. And you're like, damn, that's... What a girl. That's like such a woman thing that's say.

I never felt joy. I don't know, man. I understand, like, that people get really depressed, but, like, he's felt joy before. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. He's done drugs. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

I know that for a fact. You can't just, like, maybe it's fleeting and, like, you don't, like, you don't live in that moment, but you felt joy. Everyone's felt joy. Yeah, yeah. Because you wouldn't know what sadness is

if you haven't felt joy. Yeah, maybe you just haven't felt as much joy but you still know what the general feeling of joy. Exactly, yeah. Because you'd have no, yeah, how would you even know what it is if you haven't felt it? Yeah.

Well, now we're getting a little, It's got way too early It's just what Rogan said I don't know, man I think of it. But yeah So you, yeah,

you were on like three episodes you said? Three episodes, yeah. Did they film them all like in the same day or week? No, one was like two months apart from each other.

But the third one we shot it, but they never aired it. Interesting. Yeah, I don't know. What was that about? I was playing a baker chef

and I had all these pies and cakes and I don't know and then they just like just cut it out and says you know we could go home now oh really yeah I think it was just he just wasn't feeling that I don't think they were feeling it like this is not a

so yeah well that's like I'm sure with someone like Chappelle he really know like he's it takes a good comic to throw away an idea yeah yeah because he sucks you're like let's just put out bullshit all the time exactly well that's like Like Saturday Night Live. Yeah.

They shoot two shows. They shoot an early show, and then they shoot an 11 o'clock show. So the early show, they film everything that they're going to do. Then they look through the whole thing to see, okay, we're going to cut this out, cut this out, cut that out. Yeah. To see what works, what's going to fit in the show. Right. I didn't even know that.

I thought it was one shot. Yeah. I knew that they cut some things out, but boy, like, that's a tough one. Like, people shit on Saturday a lot, and it deserves it for a lot of the respect because, like, they always have, like, an agenda or whatever. But to know that, like, this is, you're just doing it. Like, you, there's no turning back at a certain point. It's like the show is what it is and you have to put it out. Yeah, I'm surprised you never had, like, a meltdown.

Yeah. You know what I mean? If it's live all the time and you're dealing with celebrities, a lot of the times out of their minds. Yeah. I'm surprised there's not like a Will Smith moment like on SNL where somebody just freaks out Especially with like a get like a celebrity guest Yeah

Where they're just like this because there's so much stress like leading up to it They're just like I made a huge mistake Yeah yeah yeah yeah they're dressed up as like a I don't know baby or something Yeah that is a long show it's like I think yeah they had us for one episode We did the rehearsals And then we shot it

all right little guys we don't need you you're done for the day oh man so they pretty much just taped it and no one's going to see it so you just told all your friends listen i'm going to be on saturday line tonight oh they didn't release it oh and then it's like dude i didn't see you on saturday knife why i said well they cut it they cut out oh yeah sure they didn't want to use it yeah yeah that's tough and that's like and that's another thing that's all the money that they spend like all that time that you've been there that's over that rate was like about five something today is probably more yeah but uh yeah that saturday is the longest day like 500 something dollars an hour is that what it is no no no no that's that's five something for uh

that's for the whole thing the union scale okay i probably more today i have no i have no idea how much people deserve to be paid in this world. Yeah, yeah, especially when it comes to acting. I don't know, I don't know what pays what. Like, even for like a regular job, they could be like, Patty, you deserve $20,000 a year. Or they could be like, you should be a millionaire. Yeah, no idea what the difference is. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, I'm in between jobs. Now, you probably didn't know this, but I've been fired twice for this podcast. Let's make it three. Yeah, yeah. I'm down to make a three. But, uh, yeah, at this point,

I might just start promoting the podcast in job interviews. Yeah. Because I'm like, because I'm like, like if somebody like honestly like out if i separate for my comedy brain if i was at a company and they were like oh we interviewed this guy but he had a podcast and it was inappropriate i would listen to that podcast like there's no part of me that wouldn't listen to it check it out yeah i don't understand why it's it's such a bad thing to have a like like you can own a gun you can you know hit your wife well i guess i don't think you can legally hit your wife yeah that's true you could get fired for hitting your wife if they knew about it certainly if you're you put it on the resume.

Yeah. I don't know why you do that. You would probably not get hired. But it just, it blows my mind that like, just talking and saying bullshit. Well, yeah, yeah, yeah,

because it's also, it's so funny because, like, oh, people are like, okay, you can have these beliefs or opinions

because, like, most of my jokes are not my opinions. You know what I mean? It's like, most of the time I'm saying a joke

because I don't mean what I'm saying. Yeah. Usually it's the opposite. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Usually I'm playing a character or doing something like that. Yeah, so we're actually really cool.

Yeah. Sort of like hypothetically. Like that would be that it's so funny because I always try to draw comparisons and then I end up just referring to art

is way higher than mine. Yeah. I'm like, that would be like if you got mad at Leonardo DiCaprio for playing a slave owner and like I'm not Leonardo Caprio.

I'm making dick jokes, but yeah. You know what's funny is we're probably closer to a slave owner than Leonardo and a cabrio. Oh,

yeah, just who, yeah, yeah, just who we are as people. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, the success level, yeah, it's not. When you guys were talking about

drinking beers in the bath I'm not a big drink beer in the bathroom, but you're not a big drink beer at all now. Not anymore, but a shower beer. Oh, yeah. It's the best thing. You ever do a shower beer? That usually happens at the clubs or bars when I'm working. See, does someone...

Were there? No. Or they, like, cover you in beer. Someone spilled the... A beer shower? Someone spilled a thing and it's like, oh, got all my costumes. Oh, God. Oh, yeah, he was talking more about a beer in the shower.

Like, when I was a shower in beer. Yeah, yeah. No, I only... Well, that I only did it when I was on my cruise. Oh, yeah. What was the cruise? Cruise went to three different islands. So I made sure I got a nice room.

And it had a little VIP refrigerator with everything in it. Lunchtime, I have my lunch beer. Go downstairs and then hit the pool. Oh, nice. You got to have a pool drink when you get to pool. Oh, yeah. You just sit back and they just, they already have the drinks made for you, whatever you want. When you take a shower on a cruise ship, is it like using the ocean water?

No. No. Really? They like store water? I wasn't sure if like a starfish would come out of your... The whole thing is the water always gets recycled with everything that they do. Oh, really? Yeah.

Same thing with it when they wash their clothes. If you want something wash, the towels, the sheets. All the stuff is all being... Wow. It comes into recycle water. See, I don't trust the system. enough that way. I don't either. Because if I'm taking a shit and they're like this water will be recycled into like clean

water and then it'll pour back on it. I'm like I, it's somebody's going to fuck that up in the process of making it water. Like a carnival cruise, like especially if like some of the times their cruise ships sink. And like the most important thing about a cruise ship is that it does not sink. Yeah. And some do. So you think their water is like. So basically your, your first shower on the cruise is the cleanest shower. Yeah, because I think that's what it is. They're getting back into port. So everything, they got all the trucks, taking everything off,

and then reloading a few and all that stuff. Okay. I've never done a cruise. I'm like a little nervous to do a cruise. I'm scared of the ocean. Are you scared of the ocean? You're scared of being trapped out at sea?

No. Those are two different fears. You're scared of like the water and the sea monsters? I'm scared of the fish. Dude, any fish bigger than like, probably eight inches? That's a low.

bar eight inches and look yeah yeah feel like because i grew up in florida it's like i'm so like i swim and there's sharks and like you're just like used to that yeah yeah but yeah wait so what was the cruise for so you were like booked on i just went on vacation oh nice my first one was a uh was it three days three days four nights or it was something like that i took a smaller one just to see what it was all about i said oh this is cool smaller ship i said i said I'm going to the next one. I'm going to go a little big. Got a one bigger.

I said, I'm going to take another one. I even went bigger. I mean, it's like, today is the ones today. It's almost like a mall. Oh, yeah, yeah. I've heard they're nuts. Everything that's like a society. It's like.

It's a country floating around. Yeah. I mean, the water slides, everything that they have now. They have like a bank. They have like a town hall. They have like a mayor, basically. A jail. That's one thing.

They do have a jail, right? I've heard most crews have, like, a cruise jail because, like, there's always somebody that gets too fucked out that tries to fight somebody. I think, yeah. I think the security, they have a section, a room that they put them in until we decide what the captain wants to do to you,

if you're going to put you off the ship. The brig. We had an episode that got cut, but Chris Kimback was talking about. He met a girl on a cruise, and her boyfriend was in cruise jail. And she, like, he fucked some girl who's, like, boyfriend was in cruise jail.

Which is just horrible, because I'm like, you imagine you're in cruise jail. Cruz jail? He just comes out with a tattoo of an anchor on his arms. He's like, he's just been doing pull-ups all the time. He's joined a gang. He's just in there for three hours. Shaved head, Nazi sign.

Yeah. That's pretty good. I feel like that's kind of a badge of honor to go to cruise jail. Yeah, that shows you're a fun guy. Yeah. It really just means, yeah, you're the coolest guy on the cruise. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Like, because back in the day, what they should do is just throw you over.

Like there should be a plank. Yeah. You walked off into the, you got enough trouble. Actually, I saw that not too long. Girl. Some girl fell overboard. Really?

Yeah. Fell overboard. And she definitely got into a fight with her boyfriend. Yeah. She's like, what's that? Yeah. They actually caught it on the video

and they had to send out Coast Guard and everybody to. Oh my God. Yeah, they actually found her. Wow. Still alive. She's lucky. Yeah.

I was like, whoa. I was on your side too where I always think when I hear fell off a cruise I think of like a couple fighting For sure Like you know maybe they took a salsa class And the wife flirted too much with the salsa instructor And then the husband's like

I'm telling him because it pushes her overboard That seems like the story you hear Maybe I'm just thinking of like an episode of family guy Or something but that I feel like I've heard of that happening I honestly this might be an incorrect stat But I've heard that on like average It happens like at least once or twice every cruise where a man throws this woman over.

There's no way that happens Spencer tries every cruise. Yeah, I might have made that out. That would be an insane statistic. That would mean every cruise. But think about how many people are on a cruise. Yeah, but not enough to where one's getting thrown over. Also, like most cruises I've been on,

actually, I've only been on one, but over here sounding like I do it all the time. But it's like they set up a lot of like, what's it called? Any ledge has like another ledge. Oh, like a net or something. So you'd have to like jump far. I mean, I'm sure every ship's different.

so some kind of suck and some don't. Yeah. Yeah, that would be cool to have like a themed cruise where like the theme is you can murder your wife. On the cruise, yeah. I saw another one. I saw one where it was like a husband, a wife murdered a husband on like a cruise.

Wow. Yeah, yeah. What a butch woman. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Or a wimp. He was a weak guy. Yeah, yeah, the guy must have been weaker. Everybody thinks it's like ship is always like this.

No, it's cruising. Actually smoot. Is it going fast? Do cruising? Does this go, do they go anywhere? Is there like a destination? Oh yeah. They go to different islands and.

Oh, okay. I mean, I took one from New York. It took a day to get down to Puerto Rico. A day? Yeah. Oh, my God. It's like a plane. When you're sleeping, when you're waking up, you're already just pulling into Puerto Rico.

Wow. Yeah. That's pretty cool. I think they kind of push it up to speed at night. Yeah. I think they call it what? Pumpernute. So many knots.

It goes. Oh, yeah. So many knots. It goes quicker and faster. But yeah, I did take my last night on the cruise, we came into the storm that they were having. Oh, man. The best night of all. I threw so many women overboard.

Flamey Young we were having that night. Everybody. Just everything was going like this. I went back to my room. I put my life as a run. I'm walking around with ship, and everybody's like, looking at me. Why, this is the guy

he got his life as ever wrong? Did he have a few to many? Or I said, no, don't you feel how the ship is going? I said, I'm going to the casino. Maybe I'll hit some, maybe one of these machines may screw up and go in the wrong way. Oh, you get all the cash out.

Oh, shit, yeah. Maybe to make the numbers, sevens come up straight. and I'll hit. That's also awesome just wearing a life preserver at the casino. Everybody else started, like,

because people were just freaking out. Yeah. You could just feel, boom, everything was going this way. And the people that work on a ship, oh, no, this is nothing.

We're used to this. Yeah. I said, no, I'm not used to this. It feels like, it feels like the boats is going to just go like,

boom. Yeah. And the one thing I've noticed is why I have had, little bit of that rockiness. If you're drunk, you don't notice it as much. No, no. Which is so weird.

It's so weird that if your brain is like disoriented, you're like, yeah, I'm used to everything feeling kind of wavy and kind of like that. But that was funny. That night, everybody was at the casino and at the nightclub and at the regular, the few rega bars that they had. Everybody was just drinking because they couldn't deal with it. It's probably also like a great time to try to get pussy because you're like, we might die.

Yeah. You're like, everybody's like, it helps like your motion a little bit. You just got to play with the cards you're given. Yeah, yeah. If you're hitting like a good angle, yeah, yeah. Speaking of sex, do you have a huge cock? Hell yeah. Hell yeah.

It was nervous. We were talking about whether you should ask that question. I was like, I knew, you know, I just, every time I think of a stripper, I think of a nice big cock. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. And I noticed that the other podcast, nobody, nobody mentioned it. You guys didn't even tread on it. It happens. I get questions, X, all the time.

Yeah. And actually, during the COVID, I've gotten quite a few crazy parties. Oh, hell yeah. That pretty much all the bars, everything just shut down. You couldn't do nothing. There was no work for me. So people more less doing parties at home. Yeah, yeah.

And I was like, yeah, going to have a house party. And they were able to, I did it 40th. Yeah, she turned 40th. This girl was smoking. Crack? No, she was... Oh, no, not that. I don't do that.

That might stop my growth. They say smoking stops your growth. I don't know. Yeah, she couldn't believe I come popping out. It was like, what is going on here? Why am I sitting in this chair? Well, I'm your surprise. And she said, what do you be?

I'm your surprise. What's going to happen? Oh, you get ready. Shirt came off, pants came up. Oh, my Lord. What the heck is that you got on? That is some sexy G string. And that was a money, money, money, money making night.

Did you ever do like a Zoom show? Oh yeah, because comedians, we had to do Zoom show. That's where we had to perform on Zoom. Did you ever have to just like grind up against the webcam or anything like that? No, actually a friend of mine asks me, says, Randy, can you do me a big favor? Can you take a camera? Put your Superman on and just sing happy birthday to my friend. Because since we can't do nothing, I said, sure.

I said, well, you're going to sue pay me? Yeah, yeah. Are you going to pay me double or regular? I'll take care of you. Took care of me. I sent a video. Girl was so happy. I was like, oh, this totally made my day.

Is it one of, do you ever like, do you ever not look forward to something? Or are you always excited for it? Or like sometimes are you like I don't want to do this but then you do it And you're like oh this was fun Or do you like kind of get anxious and don't want to do a No actually Pretty much all the parties that I do

Are pretty pretty good Yeah I mean there's been a few like Oh man Thank God it's only one hour Yeah It was two hours thank God it's only one Because I can feel it already

Crowds not into it Yeah We were talking about this in the last episode. That's got to be so hard because you're putting so, you're half naked, you're shaking your dick or your ass, you're dancing. Yeah. Like for us, if a joke doesn't work, we're like, I'll move on to something else.

But for you, it's got to be like, you're really committing to what you're doing. I mean, you're working it so hard. Bumping a grinder to this girl, to that girl. And then you go up to this one and the girl, uh-uh, go over there. I don't like that. Oh, you never doubled down?

It was like two girls. I remember doing it. this party two girls at the party they stayed up in the corner just watched the whole thing i said go on no no no stay over there we're not into the stuff those girls are into i said okay see that's like a form of like security you have in yourself because like us as comics who like literally hate every aspect of ourselves yeah we would look at those two and be like why don't you love me yeah and we would just like drill at them and be like you don't and just ruin their night yeah yeah Instead of being like, here's the 90% that enjoys me.

We're just fixating on this woman going like this the whole time. Yeah, yeah, yeah. If there's somebody having a bad time at the show, I'm always like, ah, fuck, I want to get you to laugh at me. But it's also like, yeah, I've had that before where like, I'll have like some fucked up jokes. And most people don't like it, but one guy likes it. I'm like, I'm going because I'm for him.

I'm not for these other people, I guess. Yeah, it's like the only string of hope left is there like, At least someone is enjoying this. Yeah. And I'll use this to get through it. But it is also hard because, like, as a stripper, that job is coming on to people in a sexual way. Like, like, so I, when I go to strip club,

because my girlfriend has a role, I can't get lap dances. So, like, girls will come with me, and I have to say. I like that your girlfriend has rules. Yeah. It's not don't go to the strip club. No, no. She's like, don't get lap dances there. And so it's like, I have to, like, say, I have a girlfriend, no laugh atads.

But even still then, they're like, come on, is your girlfriend here? And I'm like, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, funny going about this way. Did a party. Boss says, yeah, listen, this is what it is. Okay. I get there. And a girl says, yeah, listen, be nice.

No driving and no other. So I put it all together. And the other girl told me what this party, she just got married to her today. So they both got married. I'm like, that's why you cannot, cannot be doing this, cannot be doing that. Yeah.

Oh, this is a real hard party. I guess everybody else here is Yeah, we're all lesbians Okay, it's cool But that's a weird request To have a male stripper for a lesbian party Yeah Hey, I don't know who

Don't know who set it up It's like a lot of vegans going on a steak dinner Yeah, yeah It's like why are you doing that? Yeah, yeah But it was funny I was like Whoa, it felt

Yeah, this party was really bad But I walked out of it with a nice Chunk of change Nice chunk of change Yeah, that's worth it Because what it is These girls have the money. They're not married.

They have no kids. They could do whatever. Right. And it's just here. I'll hand it to you, but not going to put it over here. Not going to put it here. Not going to put it there. Yeah.

They all drive school buses and fix cars. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, they got the money. It's also like, it's also funny though because even outside my, okay, so like, let's draw like, so lesbians, we're straight dudes. So we have the same sexual preference as lesbian women. I would still have fun, though, if there was, like, a male street. Like, if you were at a party, I'd still be throwing money.

You know what I mean? Like, having a good time. Yeah, for sure. Yeah, I wouldn't be, like, obviously getting, like, laugh dances and stuff. But you'd still be, like, contributing financially in a way that you're like, oh, this is the fun element of the party. I mean, the party that I did before with the girl's 40 a birthday, the guys even came up. Here, put this in your pocket. Put this in your pocket.

I'm not going to put it up. And I just, like, went to look, like, whoa, I got to put that someplace else. Yeah. The singles I put over here, the bigger ones I got to really put in a secure place. Oh, yeah, yeah, you got to keep that way. I was like, the guys felt like, yeah, you're making these girls happy. This is so, and all the guys just kept one guy and this are just, yeah, put this way. Put this.

Oh, so I walked out another good party. I've only been to a strip club one time, and it's actually a pretty funny experience because I'm so uncomfortable at a strip. Like, we just, we were all hammered and I was like, oh, whatever, it will be fun. was like me and three of my friends in Portland, Oregon. And we're sitting, we got like a VIP booth and like bottle service and everything. And they bring four girls to come sit around with us. And like, there's a girl like sitting to me. And I'm just like talking to her.

Yeah. I'm just like, hey, so how's it going? Yeah, like, oh, crazy weather. You know, like, I didn't know what to say. So I'm like, at one point I was like, I don't know what to do here. And she was so uncomfortable. She's like, why don't you just get a lap dance? I was like, let's do that.

So me and this girl get up to go get a lap dance. And then my friend Ryan and like the girl that he was with like cinnamon or something get up. And we're both like waiting in line to pay this guy who looks like a like a carnival barker. Yeah. To like get a lap dance. And at one point the, they're just like, all right, cinnamon come to the stage, which is my friend's like girl. And she's like, I got to go. He's like what the hell?

Like what? Like we're about to. So she goes up to the pole. So it's just me, him, and this girl. And I was just like, do you want to just share a lap dance? Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. And he's like, all right. So, like, we just both got into this tiny thing.

Like, it was like we were sitting right next to it. Like, we were touching each other more than this girl. You were touching you guys. And she was like going back and forth. God bless her. She did incredible work. Like, going back and forth, my friend was completely soft. I was 100% erect.

It was so insane. But it cost us each $100. Whoa. That's expensive. For like eight minutes. That's weird. So we got chipped. Yeah, yeah, that's crazy.

So it's more or less how it really goes to $20 a song. Yeah, that's normally how it works. Oh, really? Yeah. Unless you stare away to heaven. Then it's like 40s. Because we did listen to Freebird three times. I mean, that happened to me.

me one time. Speaking of Freebird, they ever ask you to whip your dick out? Where? Like, you get paid... If you just where, that means something like that's good at,

that I'll just keep that on the quiet side. Okay. Keep that on the quiet side. Let's just whisper it. Well, because, like, I know there's the different laws depend. So, like, there's strip clubs in Florida that

if they serve alcohol, they have to be registered by the ATF, the Bureau of Alcohol, Tobacco, and Firearms, so they can't go bottomless. But if they're not... All three of those are in the same alcohol, tobacco. Yeah, yeah. It's a bureau in like the United States.

Well, they have... In Florida, they have... It's called B.Y... BYU, I think it's called. BYU or B.Y. It's something... It's bring your own... You could go to a liquor store, beer store.

Bring your own stuff in. Yeah, yeah. The only thing that you do, if you want... You bought a bottle of vodka. You want orange shoes, so you want this. So I'm going to mix. You got to buy it from that. the bar.

Yeah, because then the strippers can get fully naked. Stripers can get fully fully naked. Oh, wow. Yeah, yeah. Totally. But then some of them,

if they serve alcohol there, they have to be stricter. Like, like pus? Yeah, 100%. Yeah. Wow. Yeah, dude,

I've seen a stripper, she put a glow stick in her asshole and somebody to ring toss on it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. How much, like, do you go home with like a stuffed animal? I remember that.

I played that one time with one dancer. Oh, really? Yeah, it was at a batch of party. We started playing some crazy games. Wow. That's pretty cool. So it was, I don't know how she felt.

Yeah. I'm sure that was, yeah. Yeah, no, that's, but yeah, some places are straight.

It just depends. But, I'm also, I've never been to a male strip club. I don't know. I would go. You know what I mean? Because it's a fun environment.

You know what I mean? It's like, it's like a good. Yeah. What? A male strip club? Yeah, yeah,

yeah. Oh, they have, they have the shows that they have, they do in the city. I don't a few of them. I'm like the special performance coming in. but I'm like a surprise

Like the guy that Do you like being a surprise more than them knowing what they're walking into? I like it as a surprise Because somehow some girls will see me walking in going through But they usually put me through the backroom Backdoor to okay this is where you're going to So no one And the emce would introduce me

And two girls are on the stage Because they call that The hot seat your friend would pay I want my girlfriend to go on she's the one that get married right give her the lap dance and Adam come out

here he is oh man little Randy girls are like next minute come popping out I either have my fireman off and on my police officer off and on it's like next one you just hear to quiet it

and then you hear the yeah the pop crazy everyone's just screaming like wait I have a dollar for you I have a dollar for you That's awesome

Then you got like these two girls like Sitting there Not know what to do Like we'd expect this was gonna happen We thought it was gonna be a six foot Sexy built guy Not a four feet Guy come walking in

Yeah But you do You just have like a lot of women That do want to like From our last conversation You sound like you do pretty well for you So how's the last year been for you With COVID and stuff

as far as love life. COVID. It's hard to meet people during COVID, right? It's harder for you to work, right? It was hard. I did have to do some shows with masks, with a mask on. You get to do like a sexy take your mask off?

It was like, the whole stuff, the party is set like, Randy, let's take it off. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Be yourself, it's only the five of us here. Yeah, I feel like the rule should be if you can see someone's ass cheeks. Yeah, yeah.

You should be able to take their mask off, you know? Because I think, like, some of the girls are like, we can only see from here to here. What does he really look like? We want to see the face. Yeah. You know, it's a mask coming off. Yeah, that's like a, yeah, that's an interesting.

Yeah, I've been to one like that because I went to strip clubs peak COVID in Florida. And there was a type of here we're masks, but. Everything else. Yeah, everything else showing. Yeah. No dental dams. Yeah. Yeah.

It's a weird. thing, yeah. COVID, for me, it was a really tough thing. Thank God I have good friends that Randy, listen, I'm about a party at my house. Need to come bartend.

Yeah. What do you have available to wear? I got this and this. I bring both. We'll pick out. Barton, go have a good time. And that's pretty much how it's just. So you're basically a private contractor

where you take... I'm a private contractor. But I do work for, you know, still work for some people. If they have, they have something coming up and they need me. Right. That's an agency. But 95% is my work is some people that I've been doing parties for private parties for for some time. Oh, okay.

Like return customers. Yeah. That's good. A friend of mine was believing. I done his birthday party, did his batch of party. did his bachelor party did the wife's bachelor party did their wedding

and then we just became a humongous friends and he's like a guy that just chose parties like listen calls me a 1 o'clock in the morning Randy I'm going to send him over to you so you can you be ready fire up Superman it's time

dude I'm in bed sleeping get your ass out of bed Uber's going to be there 10 minutes But you don't have my address Send me your address Okay, I'm going to send in 10 minutes Let me get my stuff ready

Uber's out Okay, come in Get to his place Holy crap Oh yeah, this is gonna be a good party Yeah It's about like 10 strippers there already Hanging out

By the way, if you have a bad part If you're, there's 10 strippers at a party And you manage to have a bad time You're a fucking loser Yeah I love people that they think they're above like, oh, okay, stripper. It's not that.

It's exciting. Somebody's boobs are out, somebody's dicks. Like, it's an exciting thing. So anybody who's having a bad time in that party is just a boring. Actually, it's pretty much, these girls are just walking around naked.

Yeah. Totally nude. Like, anytime I see a boob. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm automatically happy. That's what Neil Brennan needs, dude. He needs more boobs to his face. Do strippers, like, have sex often with each other?

Or is it, like, kind of like, a forbidden thing in the, the business. What? Male or female? I mean, what? Yeah, like, uh... Male stripper, female stripper? Yeah, or male stripper, male stripper, female, whatever, but like, is there a lot

of, like, stripper on stripper sex, or is it like... Because comedians are having sex or a lot. Yeah, comedians, apparently we're all not supposed to be having sex, but like... Yeah, yeah, yeah. People are just always having sex. Yeah, yeah. I haven't had that happen to me yet. Okay.

It's more or less it happens to the people. at the party. Right, right. If I'm, if I'm performing for these five girls, one or two of them, I'm going to come up to me and, like, say something to my ear. Yeah. But if it's me and a female stripper there performing, no, that. You guys are like colleagues.

We're just working and she might have someone or, listen, I got to get to my next job. Yeah. Okay, that's interesting. Wait, so have you had a three-some before with two people that were like it? I had three girls. one, two, three, five times. I like these counties. That's how you know what's a good time.

Five times. Five, but it was five different. You've had a foursome five times? Five different times. Oh my God. That's like Will Chamberl in numbers. Yeah, that's nuts. Yeah.

And it was so funny, the doorman. There was a door man? The door man. That's a man. No, the doorman saw it. Doorman we were going up to her place. And he looked at me. He looked at the other two, looked at her.

Whoa, this guy must be getting lucky tonight. Yeah. Yeah. Were you dressed as a lot of Lepricon? No, actually, it was it was a Senna's elf.

Oh, wow. That's awesome. Were they dressed up with, yeah, Christmas parties, that's got to be huge for you. That's got to be a good fight. I know you were saying St. Patrick's Day is where you fucking. St. Patrick's Day is great. Christmas time.

Halloween is crazy. July 4th. I mean, I do everything. I just, two weeks or one. When do we have a... There's Flag Day on Tuesday. Nobody's getting a stripper for Flag Day.

The Derby. The Kentucky Derby. Oh, okay. I dressed up as a jockey at this. Oh, perfect. At my buddy's bar in Hoboken. Holy crap. Nobody knew.

This is, Rennie, what are you dressing up? You're going to see. Now, the managers knew everything. Now, the two waitresses is, oh, my God. This is going to be so funny. So, ready. We could not find you a horse, but we found you a blow-up giraffe. So like the giraffe is like bigger than me.

I'm like, okay, so how are we setting this up? Okay, the DJ is going to sit up to a, when they count down the horns. That goes off. And like four girls outside with party poppers, I come pop out of door with the giraffe running like I'm on a horse party about everybody was just laughing like holy shit they actually got a jock yeah yeah yeah that would be a perfect way to like give a little girl a pony would it would be like a little person as a jockey on top of it oh yeah yeah yeah yeah it's like a presentation yeah yeah that'd be great but i did do it one year in the city another friend that

has a bar he actually got a real horse oh wow So I'm sitting in front of the bar on the horse for like two hours. I sit. I mean, we had the biggest crowd of all dressed up as a jockey. And I'm sitting on the horse like, this horse better not take war. Yeah. Oh, my God. This horse better not take war.

Someone hopes its ass. There was no saddle, nothing. Oh, is your bear back in? So I'm like, nothing to hold on. So anything I was holding on was more or less just holding on to us here. just in case if he did take off And horses are still, they're still so untrained Everybody's like this horse is trained

But every time I've ridden a horse, The feels out of trade, they're fucking crazy Exactly, it's a horse It doesn't know history, it doesn't Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah It's not reading, it's like It's not like I'm getting paid for this, Let me behave horses are like,

I will run off at any point Just because something scared me Like, although they have years of training They still, some of them are fucking nuts Yeah, they still need those things On the side of their head Yeah, yeah, yeah So where the bar is

It's a tourist area I'm sorry, I got to pee real quick No problem So they got The tourist bus The upper two-deckers Oh yeah The double-decker

So you got everybody taking pictures And What the heck They must like What is going on here Who's the guy on the horse Is that a real chalky Or what is that?

Yeah So yeah That's pretty cool What's like the most amount of people? Because you mentioned you've done some big parties. Like what's like the biggest party you've had to do? Or like event or a... Oh, man.

I'd probably say I did do a big show at a club, three levels. So it had to be more than a thousand. Oh, wow. Was this in New York? Was this? Yeah, this was in New York. Oh, cool. So I was like, whoa, never go.

I don't focus on what's out there. Right. Because you got one balcony, you got a second balcony. And then you got everyone is around you. Yeah, that's a lot to think about. Just do your thing and focus on what you're going to do. Right. Don't be looking though.

There's 500 people there. There's 1,000 people there. Oh, crap. But yeah, that's probably the biggest. The most amount of people. Yeah. Yeah, I feel like at that point, you have to scale it down and be like, I'm performing to these people in front of me and, you know,

and just almost block it out of your head. Oh, no, I totally, it's blocked out of my head. Yeah. I just make sure, like, got security over there, security over there, security in front that no one's like. Going to rush the stage or do this. or do that. Has anyone ever thrown like a drink

at you or anything? By the way, I saw a comic have a drink at her last night. Oh, yeah, I saw that on our story. Yeah.

No, I had a lot of girls just built, when I'm walking on the bar pouring drinks, girls into shots. Damn, oh, I'm sorry.

Oh, man. Got my shoes all wet now. Yeah. I mean, it happens during Santa Con. Oh, I got my L shoes on,

you know, dressed up really cool and all. And it's like, dude, oh, you banged right into me. Dude, you got my whole elf out with all. Now I'm smelling like this. I'm smelling like this. Yeah. So it's like I can smell bit here.

I can smell something sweet here. And I can smell, ooh, something smells, ooh. Does somebody do something that they should have done? Yeah. Well, that's also the thing is like, I took a shot recently and spilled it on my shirt. And first of all, there's always a couple seconds after you have the shot that you're like, smell of alcohol. And then it's just stuck on you

and you're just smelling that gross shot. Oh, that's, I mean, it's the funniest thing. It's when I'm pouring shots. Girls don't like, listen, keep your mouth open when I'm pouring. True. And then it just goes all over. Like, damn, you just had probably a $100 shirt on.

Oh, yeah, because they're paying way more than us for a shirt. Yeah, yeah. These girls coming into the place all skeeping up really hot What's your liquor of choice? I'm more of a bear guy. A shot guy, I'm Jameson. And he could put him down. I remember last time we were drinking.

We were hanging out for like five hours last time. Yeah, and you drank more. You could handle your alcohol. What thing I want to ask you about? So back to the three-something thing, you were telling me one time, so by the way, we can talk about whatever on here, we could cut out, whatever.

But you were saying some girls asked you to fist them? No, that was at a... I was at a bachelor party. There was so much going on at that party. We want to hear about whatever you could say. So much. I mean, there was a live sex show. Wait, what is a lot?

So it's two people you watch them have sex at the party? Well, it was a batch of party. So it's all the guys, the guys who was getting married, all his good friends. This party, they had a girl that was on a. Rose Gates, waitress. Holy shit. Topless, topless, no, nude,

nude, uh, she was nude and the bartender was supposed to be topless. But it turned out, the guy says, listen, gonna take you, I want you to go fully because she was smoking hot.

So she was weird. I love that. I was going to have a good topless, but then you showed up here. I got to see, I gotta see that. So, we're in the back.

going over everything, me and the three girls. Okay, Randy, you're the cop. I'm the bad cop. This is the schoolgirl. This is the other school girl, but they're both prostitutes.

So we got to punish them, handcuff them, and then... Then fist them to justice. So, Randy. Wait, real quick, let me make sure the camera's running before. Sure. All right, it's not right. Once I hear a good story, I got to make sure there's no

we're not losing it. So she says, I'm going to put this black glove on. I'm going to loop you up. You're going to start her off. Just one by one and going at it. She's going to be doing the same thing to the other girl. I was like,

all right. My head, Mike, am I hurting you? No, you're doing good. Just keep going. These guys are loving it because the money is just like,

money's just coming down like, Oh, true. So, boom, okay. Show's over. Everything's good. Then next show is coming up. Live sex show coming on. It was a live sex show.

A real dancer. Both were real dancers and went at it. Oh, is girl on girl crime? No, no, no. Oh, they did do the girl, girl shows and all. But they had a real live male or female. Where does he Is he wearing a condom during this or is it?

Oh no, yeah. Yeah. That makes me nervous about myself. What? Because I'm like, if they're wearing a condom. You're not wearing a condom. Yeah, exactly. Yeah.

I should probably be wearing a condo. But I assume you could fit. I was the time of this before. I assume your fist you can hit more angles than your dick because your dick head can only go like this. But your fist could hit all these sides. It seems like you could actually make a girl come better from a fist. It's almost like a claw. I mean, I pretty much for one.

I went, I was up in there. I was worried. I'd love to imagine someone pulling you out by your legs. Am I hurting her? Dude, here's more money. Harder. Harder.

Keep going. Like trying to start a lawnmower. Oh, man. And I'm looking at her. She's like just laugh. Trying to not to laugh. But she's just making that, oh yeah, baby.

Keep going. Keep going. Keep going. Oh, my God. What a trooper. Yeah, yeah, that's wild. Dude, they need to hire this girl to, like, fuck some of these school shooters. No, yeah, to make sure that doesn't.

I was like, save the planet. I just said, ah, so you Russian girls are really into this. Oh, she's Russian? She was Russian, yeah. Oh, that makes a lot of sense. They can handle shit. Yeah, I feel like people from the, the Eastern Europe have just, they're just tougher people. That's just a Russian hello.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. She had his humongous fake, fake breakfast. but she took it like a she just like go you could go a little faster all right it's amazing that she could talk while being fisted that's crazy to me I've had a finger in my ass

from the doctor and I'm like they're like they're asking me like a basic question they're like hey does that feel weird I'm like yeah your fingers in my ass does that feel weird they don't ask that they're just asking they're like have you been shitting blood that's a normal question they're not asking how does this feel

Weird. The only thing is she's like, I'm like, are you sure you okay? You know, I'm okay. I'll give you the single, like, slow down. But keep it going. Because they're liking this. The more we keep going to, these guys are spending.

Yeah. I think we underestimate how much women can take. I'll fuck my girlfriend. I'm like, is that too hard? And she's like, you're all right. Yeah. Does that hurt? No, like six inches does not hurt.

They can really shoot life out of their vagina. Yeah, yeah, yeah. A full baby. So that thing, yeah, it can always be stretched. I mean, I look at these girls that do porn. Holy crap. Oh, yeah, yeah. I mean, the gangbangs.

I remember that one girl, Jasmine, St. Clair, 300. And then Houston, 550. 550. Yeah. The last guy was Ron Jeremy. The last guy was Ron Jeremy. Oh, yeah. Oh, God.

So they're working their way. I've heard he's a... Oh, I met him. I met him. He actually stayed at the same place that I was staying at. Because actually, I don't know, somebody... Not sure if you know. He does comedy, too.

Really? He does comedy. Well, not anyway. He's in jail now. He's in jail. Yeah, yeah. It just found out. Wasn't an assault or...

Yeah, it was like a list of things. Yeah. Yeah, he... This is the list of things. But it's so funny. Yeah. What was your experience with him? No, I was doing a show with some other guys.

And my buddy was like, like, dude, so you're the guy that I see, yeah. Well, you want to see it? He was ready to pull it out. Like, sure. Yeah, yeah, yeah, this is how big it is. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. The hedgehog, I heard.

I'm like, a hedgehog is not that big. No, no, no. But that also had to be hard when they were dealing with the trial. And they're like, he said the hedgehog. What are you referring to by the hedgehog? Oh, in the trial? Yeah, yeah, yeah. But you were saying, you were saying he was like, hey, you want to see my dick?

I mean, I would want to see his. Well, he was like. Trying to show it. Trying to, like, we're going back to the place that we're staying at. Yeah. It's essentially like a photo showing a photo of your kids out of your wallet, like for a normal. Yeah, for him, that's what it is. Yeah, yeah.

That's what he's proud of. Yeah. Yeah. It's like that's, yeah. Yeah. But the funniest thing is like, nothing happened. But I said, yo, boy, he's up in a shower, taking a shower. Just make sure you don't go into the wrong bathroom.

I was hoping he was going to walk upstairs and like walk in and say, is this guy really what he is. Yeah. Yeah, that's great. By the way, I have a few questions just because viewers asked. Let's see. Let's see. These are all boring questions.

Fuck the viewers. Where do you align politically? I know. We're not getting into politics on this. Let me see. Let's see. It actually is funny. Oh, yeah, yeah.

No, it is funny. A lot of girls, I've been doing a lot of, a lot of young parties. 21 and up birthday parties, graduations and this and that. It's like, dude, have you ever did porn? It's the way. You want to do one? No, no, I just wondered. And I was just talking to two girls that work with me

that are in the bar business And they're into porn Randy I didn't know you like I said yeah I like checking out What kind of porn you like? I said like all kinds Oh we only watch girl girl We were just watching just before Why you guys were we were sitting in the corner

At the booth just watching it I said oh you're into that So yeah we just go crazy Randy, would you ever do porn? I said, nah. Oh, you'll probably be amazing. You'll probably make so much money, and every girl will probably, I want that guy. I want that guy.

He's not my next movie. Yeah, for sure, because there's not a lot of, I feel like little people doing porn. I mean, there's some, but I feel like it's not, like, it's not, I feel like I know more little people actors than little people porn stars. And I watch more porn than I watch movies. So I feel like I should. I think you have to look it up. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Dude, I know more porn, like, female porn stars than I do.

Female actors, yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Well, athletes are different. I watch female sports, but movies, though. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's true. I probably know more female porn star names than female actor names. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

I think today the porn, I mean, these girls are smoking. Yeah. I mean, oh, my God. They, I remember I did a party. The girl says, yeah. I turned 18. We were in Vegas. She turned 18.

They were already signing a... She was already signing a contract. That's a little... That's a little creepy. She was signing a contract. I mean, there was a lot of porn stars. You know how sad her father must be? Yeah, well, that's a tough to immediately

7th to 18th, like, you shouldn't be... Until the person's 18th birthday, you shouldn't be talking about doing a board. It should be, like, college basketball where you need to go to, like, school for one year. I thought you were saying they have to scout it out. Oh, no, I guess. Yeah, that's a little creepy.

Like you can't, like you need some kind of, like you can't just Kobe Bryant into like brassers and just go. Well, yeah, but also like how do they scope that out? You know what I mean? Like they can't be. Oh, there's TikTok. I mean, they go to whatever agency, vivid, all these new big companies who was going to get them the best deal. Right. I mean, look at what's the name.

So they shop around. Look at what's the name. Farrer, Abraham? Yes, I know you're talking about the girl from team mom. Apparently there's a video for her taking a shit online. That girl... I've heard. I've seen it.

She got... Whoa, her father went with her to make the deal and sign the contract. She got paid a nice... A nice chunk. A nice chunk. She only did one video. Well, now she has an only fan zone. It's like her taking shit, she doing all kinds of stuff.

That's like a crazy moment for, uh, like just that like your body is just money like like when you're an attractive enough girl it's almost like you're you're kind of making a mistake by not getting into a huge advantage yeah if you could make so much money and it's also like a small window in which uh well that was like i watched the interview of jasmine sinclair when she took the 300 on that interview the interviewer right after she talked how I wouldn't want to talk to anybody after that. I think the next thing was today's interview.

I mean, I had to buy, it was on Jerry Springer when they did the interview and somehow the girlfriend or the wife was on the show because the husband or boyfriend went for it to go perform on the video too. And watching this video and she says, oh man, she was only, I think up to. 40 and they're packing her with ice. Oh, at 40. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And she says, oh my God. What was I thinking of? Am I freaking crazy? Or I'm only at 40 and I still got to go to 300. Oh, my God. She's going to watch some Tony Robinson informational videos.

I think at that point, you're like... That's crazy that in one night she will have sex with more people than I will. In your whole life. entire life and beat it by probably 250 people. Wait, what was the number? 300?

There was one guy that she That she fell for. She met him after the shoot. Oh, really? Yeah. She's like, are you guys 285? I'm high.

I'm number 167. We had that eye contact for about two seconds. I felt it too. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But they, on this video, this guy had a Implant.

Holy crap. I don't. What do you mean? Like a dick implant? Yeah. He got a big allagement. Holy crap. And you girl was screaming like, she almost, but she had to take whatever.

But yeah. She's got to be excited with the small dick guys show up. Oh, my God. She's got to be like, thank God. This is a break. Yeah, that's a breather. This is the orange juice for all the vodka that I'm getting right now. She's like, I mean, I don't know what she looks like today.

She's a hot bazillion. Oh, long black hair, tall. Probably got a few gray hairs after that night, though. Fake, fake breast. What do you like better? A nice pair of small original breasts? I like, well, I like the real ones. I don't mind the fake ones a few times.

I've never felt a fake breast. Yeah, me either. Do you... So, question, so people are how you call us averages. I think we talked about us briefly. You've had sex with little people and averages, right? Three. Three little people and then...

Yeah. Yeah. But mostly averages. I'm more for average. Yeah. But how does the sex differ? It's not different. It's...

I guess the vagina is a vagina. Anyway, you... Anyway, you stick your fist into it. Yeah. I mean, it's pretty much the same. I mean, I got so many friends like, Randy, listen, man, I want you to hook me up with a little, little female. Oh, really? Yeah.

I got so many friends like, I have a fantasy. I would love to just a, I don't know. I could ask around, but I don't. Is there like any really strange fantasies that they want to do? What, these guys? Yeah. Oh, I don't know. I don't ask any of that.

They're just like, I need a room, a lot of butter. It's like I could just pick her up and she don't have to do nothing. I have to do all the work. Yeah. That's. So there's really no big differences. What's the tallest woman you guys? Do you know roughly?

Or does it blur together? Because I feel like for me, people that are taller than me all kind of blur together. I don't know the difference between six foot, six foot four. Like to me that's all the same. Yeah. She was probably about five, nine. Five nine. 5-9 nice

nice small not a big I'm not a big booty guy same I'm a boob guy I'm a boob guy but I'm not a booty guy yeah

yeah tall is my preferred perfect sense yeah now are you a boob guy because that's like perfect eye height for you yeah you know what's so funny it's like when we're taking pictures

the girl always got to go like this. I said, no, just stand out. Yeah, I want boobs my face. But she also catch like, why? Why? And then until the photos take, now the girl's taking a fit. She knows what's going on.

And I'm just like. And then she were like, oh, let me see. Let me see how it came out. She goes a look and says, hold that little bastard. That's why you had me stand up to be your height. And she says, I'll go with that, but we got to take a real one. I said we could take a real one. We'll take a few more.

I just, I say, huh? I just look at them in a sit. I go like that. Do you ever, do women ever say like it was way better having sex with you than an average? Because there's got to be, okay, so that's my other question, too. So that's the first question. The second question is, do you think there are jobs that little people are better at than regular people? Because everybody has their own advantages as far as.

Let me take a two minute. Yeah. I'll be right back. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Let's try to think of a few. I have these viewer questions, and you viewers are fucking losers. Dude, my favorite was like, I was like, so first off, for those people that aren't listening, this is like Sunday at like noon right now.

This is how I had to schedule it. But Randy, last time I was on, we were like, we were drinking. So I'm like, yeah, let's drink. So now I'm just like literally just drunk on a Sunday afternoon. And the best was I went to the bathroom And then there was just like a fireball Bottle on the couch Like right here

No, not in the bathroom But like I just look like such a piece of shit right now But it's my mind Is your day over now? No, no, no I'm gonna get high and watch Jurassic Park It's my buddy's birthday, so Oh, in the theater?

Yeah, yeah, yeah. I wouldn't invite you, but I don't know how he's about his birthday He might be like, no. Dude, you know what I saw the other night? Top Gun. Heard was amazing. Dude, I cried.

And it wasn't even like, there was no emotional attachment to it. It was so, like, intense and powerful. You saw Miles Teller's abs and you're like, oh, I'm like, can you rub that mustache on my forehead? But I just trying to do the mustache now just because of that movie. Yeah. And it's like, the mustache just came and went and came like so many times. You know what I mean?

It's been like, oh, it's cool. No, it's not cool. It's not cool. Yeah. It's really cool if it's not in. Like, I'm going to do the chin strap beard because that's so out right now. Right. Yeah.

Right. Okay, I'm back. All right. So what was that question again? Oh, so have you ever been told, oh, you're better at sex than an average? And then also, do you think there's any jobs that little people are better at than averages? Because, like, everybody has their own. Like, if you're taller, you're better at basketball.

But what's the reverse of that? Like, if for little people, what they're like? When it comes to the first thing, girls just give me the thumbs up. Yeah, yeah. They just give me the thumbs up. It's, I think it's more, I think it's a fantasy, fantasize for them. Like, hmm. I wonder, I wonder, hmm.

What would he be like? And what would he be like? Right. Right. I feel like some, especially with women, a lot of women are insecure about, like, features of their body because they think that men just, like, fetishize about them. But I, like, if someone wanted to, like, have sex with me because of, like, by feet, I would lead so hard into that. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Because, like, everything is a fetish in a way, even, like, brown eyes, really.

I love guys of brown eyes. I'm like, are you only fucking me for my brown eyes? It's a weird thing to get, like, upset about. Do you feel that at all? Do you feel bothered at all? Because, like, maybe it's just a man thing, but like, I would never be bothered by somebody fetishized in me because I'm like, I don't understand how that's an insult.

Like, I get to it at some extent. Actually, with me, I get in trouble with my eyes all the time. All the time. All the time. You have very nice eyes. Yeah, I know I got one celebrity, one celebrity. Can you fist me in the ass all? No way, man.

I don't go that way. There's one celebrity. I won't match your name and all. She was kind of picking me up. Did a party. Husbands there, kids are there. And, oh, my God, he's got such beautiful eyes. I can't stop looking at him until I found out everything later.

In the car, I was like, dude, she was really kind of trying to pick you up. It's like, oh, I didn't know that. but yeah that's what kind of gets me in trouble is my eyes yeah well trouble yeah yeah good trouble yeah i'm in so much trouble right now i'm in so much closer sometimes i got to worry about my my buddies when their friend girlfriends are like talking to me he's like why is my girlfriend talking to them so much yeah they've been like sitting there for 20 minutes i better go over there check on what's going on well i think the question we're asked that was like do you so do you think there are any like jobs that you think little people

benefit like our better at? Probably. I mean, I was a, I was working as an engineer. Yeah. I mean, engineer you got to go underneath to spots that you don't want to be in. Right. I mean, I've been in two places that have to go way, way in a basement.

And you're in these little holes that you've got to check on this, for this gas link, make sure this is right. It's like you look around like, and I'm, and I'm what they call it? What's that? COVID, COVID. You're in tight spots? Clostrophobic.

Yeah. Oh, yeah. Oh, man. That freaks me out. And I'm like in this little spot like, ready, you okay? Uh, uh, uh, yeah. I just, I'm getting out of the spot right now.

Yeah, yeah. I said, I don't know who could fit in this little. a little spot. I mean, you have to either go feet first or head first. I'm like, oh, get me out of here real quick. Get me on the elevator. I'm getting out of this building. It is weird that, like, as humans were claustrophobic.

But we used to live in caves. We used to live in caves. We also have all spent time in, like, our mother's uterus. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Vigina uter. I almost said stomach. I don't know where. Nine months.

Nine months. months in there, just like this. Not moving. Not moving. Until the day comes. Eat out of the tube. Even with our belly button. Until the day comes.

And to you, kicking away and get me out of here. Yeah. Time to get me out of here. The last time you ever see your mom's pussy. Hopefully. Hopefully the last time. Unless you're cool. Yeah.

We got like five more minutes. Let me see there's anything else. Somebody asked what was high school like. Was a good experience? High school was great. I mean, I became president of the senior class. Oh, hell yeah. So that was a, it was great.

I was, couldn't wait. Oh, senior year, it's over with it. Yeah. That's it. I'm done. Yeah, I felt the same way. I mean, I went out, I fully went out, full, full, everything. I had a limousine for my graduation.

Oh, fuck yeah. Took my family, everybody. Had a great big party. Tuxedo. And the biggest thing, yeah, I'm the first one walking down. Because they have to go by height-wise. I'm like, shit. Wait, that's how they did your graduation.

They did ours by name. No, they did. This was alphabetical. Yeah, I think they were pulling your leg. They did it by. Yeah, it's a dig move. They did it by. I would always, for me, I would.

always be behind the lines. Like, huh, wait, moving here. Oh, no, no. Come here. Randy, you're first. I'm like, oh, crap. I just remember that day. Oh, man, I was scared shit.

I got up. Did you give a speech? Yeah, I had to, how to do a speech. That was, I couldn't look up at anybody. I just kept looking down at, even though I remember everything. Yeah. I just couldn't look up

because I think if I looked up I would Well, everyone would see your eyes and want to fuck you. Well, I mean,

at that time, yeah. At that time, I had quite a few nice hot teachers. Oh, there we go. Yeah.

Those teachers were, yeah. That's also the funny, the funny differences, you were nervous about giving a speech and now you are in a speedo dancing.

Right. The amount of confidence. I mean, I went from a, I went from a speedo two G string. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. That's real confidence.

I feel bad we have to wrap up. Is there anything you want to promote? Any... As of right now, I have nothing coming up. Still got the movie out there, Donna 42nd Street. You want to check it out. The little hitman, Don of... Still, two Mafia families.

I'm one family, but I'm one of the hitman. Check it out. Great movie. We won three awards for it. I got to watch. I want to have you back on. I got to watch it. Oh, it's fun.

It's kind of like comedy and it's kind of funny. It's one scene we did it at the strip club, penthouse club. They put the, I don't know why they did it. They put a bag over the girl's head when she was dancing. She was not as attractive. I think I know why they did it. No, she had an attractive body. I don't know why.

It's just to make it funny. But they had to put me on a roof. of a BMW, me shooting everybody. Oh, hell, yeah. This sounds like my type of movie. He's shot, got balloons tacked to me and being shot up in the ear. Oh, hell, yeah. Or are you shooting people while you're...

I'm shooting people and they're shooting at me. You can save a lot on airline miles if you, uh, or airplanes. Yeah, it was just... What was great, I kept going up. They're shooting on me and there's a big, nice billboard. What do you think is the billboard? I think I remember this from the last podcast. Big boobs.

Two giant size boobs. Boom Right between it Hell yes All right well That was a great episode Guys thanks for listening And we're out of here

Take care guys And Patty you want anything you want to promote Nah Nah