Morning Good - The 2024 St. Patrick's Day Special - Episode 213

Episode Date: March 17, 2024

Randy, the little-person actor/entertainer/exotic dancer, joins the show for a special episode alongside Brandon Barrera celebrating St. Patrick's Day. They talk about Randy's life and escapades and pre-game for one of his gigs in the city. Thanks to Brandon Barrera for coming back on the show and of course to Randy for being an all-time great guest. Make sure to follow them both at their links below for even more.Randy is newly on Instagram @967randy Brandon is on Instagram, and to book him for an event in NYC, go to nychappystrippers.com. Brandon is on Instagram @brandonobarrera and hosts the new Welcome To This podcast.As always, find Michael Good on Instagram @michael_good1125 and on Twitter @agoodmichaelThis podcast was produced by Paxton Fleming, you can find him on Instagram @yaboypax 

Thanks for the F-Shack. I love dirty Mike and the boys. Hey, are you dirty Mike and the boys? How you know who we are? What's this? They called the podcast? Morning, very good. I love it.

Hey, welcome to the air. Thanks. Welcome to morning here. All right. We're here with Randy. Randy, the major man. Randy, the what? The Mason man.

Leopard con. Fuck, yeah. All right. So, by the way, for the witnesses don't know, if you haven't heard Randy, Randy is a actor and little person stripper. Yes. And a bunch of other shit. We're here with Brandon Barrera as well.

What's up? How's it going? And this is the St. Patrick's Day episode, and I am just realizing I'm already fucked up. I got. How much did you drink already? We started early. Yeah, we started early. We started.

Just two shots deep. He's a little two shots, a little buddy, platinum. We're doing all right. I had a little more than two shots. I do have to be at a bar tonight for an Lepican gig. What bar? I'm not even sure. wherever the Uber gets me, over gets me.

I kind of want to go with you. Can I escort you there? Sure. That sounds fun. Which bar is? You're in the city? I just got to get, I got to pick up a few boxes of Lucky Charms. I don't know what that is that. Do you actually have to get Lucky Charms or is that code word for like drugs? No, no, that's lucky charms. I was like, if I'm going to go, we're ready, we're going to pick up his blue ecstasy before we go to this bar. Do you do drugs at all?

No, never. Never, really? No. Me neither. No. Yeah, that's so great. I don't know. To me,

never, never got, just never got into it. I mean, I know people that do it, but not, not me. Isn't it the worst

when, like you say that? And then somebody goes, but you drink, alcohol's a drug. And I go, shut up, dude.

Yeah, that's what they say. That's what I was going to say. I was going to say, you guys both booze a bunch. I know you do. It's like, shut the fuck up.

Alcohol's the worst drug there is. I'm like, go fuck yourself. You are doing drugs. I said, how? You're drinking. It's a drug.

I said, Oh, no, it's not a drug. It's just drinking. It is the most regular, to be fair, I'm like, I got, I got way too drugs, way too fast. Good, I hope you are. I hope you're slurring your words in the podcast. How much weed did you do tonight?

Oh, we don't talk about that. Oh, alright. So, yeah, then shut up. You were doing drugs. Yeah, well, that is a weird thing. People try to act like weed is not a drug, wherever it's a fucking plant, dude. Because it is like, it's all drug.

Like, it is all. But alcohol is like the most regulated one. Like even though weed's legal, like, you don't have no idea how much you're fucking smoking ever. No. Oh, man. I know some friends that do it to weed and man, they come out of bathroom like, whoa. Wait, who's smoking weed in a bathroom? Like a Coke?

Or they're outside. They're coming in. And it's like, too, I can smell it all over you. I'm getting high right now. Yeah, yeah. That is some strong, whatever you were taking, that's some strong stuff. Man. You never smoked weed ever?

No. Ever near your life? One time. One time. One time. I think he should never twice. It's not never. It was actually when a friend was like ready, yeah, take two pups.

I caught my brains and it was a stone storm. We were going from one bar. I said, dude, I cannot walk no more. I'm stuck in the snow. This was a bad snowstorm. So the only place you could go to were bars that were open. Yeah. So I said, I will never.

I will never do that shit again. How old were you? Me? Yeah. At the time, how old were you at the time? Oh, it's probably about 10 years ago. Oh, really? Yeah.

Okay, cool. It's not that long ago. I'm only 21. I know we picked you. You picked your leprechaun years. That's leprechaun years. Yeah. But in real life, I'm 55.

We picked them up at NYU today. We had to get them from class. Oh, dude. Yeah, it was funny too. Oh, my guys. Nice. There you go. Sorry, guys.

We're doing the big ones today. Yeah, we're doing. Don't apologize. We're doing fucking tallboys. This is... Come on. You got to go big. Yeah, we got to go big. By the end of this, we're three minutes in, and I am fucking drunk. I want to get there. I want to meet you there. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Well, you got a platinum, so you'll catch up.

And I still say, I still like butt light, whatever that want that... Who was the one that... Dylan Mulvaney? ...made a comment about Bud Light and everybody... Oh, Kid Rock? No, who's it? Transverse... Yeah, Dylan Mulvaney. Yeah, yeah. She fucked up Buttlight.

call her a transfer? Whatever she was. Probably the best for genders. Probably the best thing he could have called it. And everybody says, too. Stop drinking butt light. I said, why? I said, I drink what I want.

Fuck yeah. There we go. There we fucking go. I drink whatever I want. Dude, this is my thing. They should have gotten a bigger titty trans woman because butt light is a titty boy community.

I saw nothing wrong with it. I was like, this is cool. They should have gotten a hotter one though. But it is very, that they immediately caved and they were like, I'm so sorry, I'm so sorry, what do you guys want? I was like, stand by what you're doing. Just stand by it.

Yeah, we fucking, we love her. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Who cares? Who cares? I mean, you shouldn't have made it a trans straight, leave beer out of the conversation. Yeah, but if it was butlite between two giant tits and then it zoomed out and it was a trans woman,

I'm like, fuck, that would have been the best butt light at every year. Just show boobs, you're fine. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Boobes when boobs have no gender. Thick bitches is what butt light supports. I will say this, skinny bitches don't drink butt light. So as long as the bitches are thick, we're good. That is true.

I actually almost did have a butt-like commercial. Really? Super Bowl, yeah. Did you audition? Yeah, I went down, but they needed a much, much shorter guy, but it was a funny commercial. How tall are you? I'm four, six. So how much shorter do they want?

Like a bunchkin? Like, like, was it a boss? It was more or less to fit into the refrigerator. What commercial is this? This was the whole thing. A refrigerator just walked up to him. You open up and, yeah, get your butt light. And there was a little guy running around a little refrigerator.

And then what you don't catch us when he, oh, man, he runs in the back. I need a break. He gets out of the fridgeator and he takes a butt light. That's what I need it. Oh, that was the line. Yeah. Uh-huh. And did you have to go?

You went in. So wait. Bud Light was holding conditions. Oh, it was a bunch of... Budlights holding auditions. There's like, let's say, how many 50 little people? It was different times. I always try to get there, the...

I always try to get to be the last one. But because you're the, that's the freshest face still remember. Well, I mean, I did, what was it? How long was this? This has to be, I think 10 years ago. Everything's 10 years ago with you. Yeah. Ten years ago, things were happening.

Ten years ago, things were happening. Things were, yeah, things are crazy. Yeah, yeah. But, yeah. But the biggest one is, like, the girl says, you got the job. I said, for why? I'm going to hire you. It was for GQ magazine.

Really? Yeah. You were in GQ? Yeah. You still have the article? It was actually a photo. Really? Okay, yeah.

Me and some NBA star. You don't remember who it was? Oh, man. I don't know who. Where is the knee, like, where was the knee as far as like? Because I've seen, I've seen pro basketball, it's a fucking giant. It's crazy when you actually see a person.

I mean, we shot everything down the Wall Street. Yeah. And, you know, they had those luxury buses. Yeah. And we're dressed up in suits. And I got this freaking big, big, big, big cowboy hat on. Yeah. And the guys, too, you look like twins.

I see, I look at him. Like, you know, this is going to go on all day. Yeah, I'm used to it. You're like just, you know, you got to ride the wave, buddy. This is what I deal with every day. It could have been, it could have been like, you don't think it was, if it's GQ, it's got to be somebody pretty big, like Shaq or something. No, I think he was a Russian, a Russian player.

Russian player. Yeah. Does the faces get blurry at that point? Like, like, if that's so far away, like, is it like one of those things that, like, I feel like I couldn't even recognize, like, I've seen professional basketball players, and you're like, I can barely see their faces. and you're like you're four, six, I'm five-tenth, so it's like, that's got to be like.

I mean, think about Shaq. Holy crap. I would be like, whoa. Yeah. His knees would, I wonder where Shaq's knees hit, right? It's probably like fucking, and it's always so crazy when guys like that are fucking like little women. And the size of his, uh, his shoes?

Damn it. He's probably got a fucking horse cock. But buying shoes for you has. be cheap, right? And what's your shoe size? Four and a half. Yeah. So you still shop what? Kids? Yeah. Nice. Actually, I go to kids' apartment all the time. Yeah, it's easy. But it's always funny.

Mommy, mommy. He's shopping like me. Mommy, mommy. You hear that every time you go into like Foot Locker? I'd punch those kids in the face. And the mother's like, pulling him. Don't look at him. Don't look at him. And then what do you go? Do you go? Ah! I give him that crazy look like Raura.

And the poor kid is like, poor kid, I could just see you now. He's going to go have nightmares. Yeah. Mommy, that guy was like me.

No, no, he wasn't a boy. He was a man. No, he was a boy. Yeah. But yeah.

I still shop for the kids to bother. I mean, I would. It's cheaper. It's cheaper. Yeah. Yeah.

You get like their shoes like half off pretty much. Everything's half off. Well, it's funny My jeans, I get from Children's Place Yeah And I said

Wait, children's place Children's Place That store, children's place Yeah, yeah, it's all over All the world Yeah, it's like a gap Yeah, it's like a gap And I said, damn, I go to this place

I can't find jeans that fit me right I got one pier I said oh this is perfect 999 Sure Yeah. I don't care what the name brand is. Yeah.

No one looks at the name brand. No one gives a shit. Jeans are all jeans. I mean, the only name brand is like at Nikes. Yeah. And those are the best things that fit me. Yeah. Nice.

Suits are the worst thing. Yeah, it's got to be fucking tricky. It's hard. I buy Kevin Klein. Yeah. Because they just fit perfect. Yeah. But now, you know, now you got a belly button, a beer belly now.

Yeah. It's a little hard to get in those pants. now. So you got to go more size. That's the thing because you're shopping at a children's place, but like children's place is still a children's store. So it's like they don't factor in like the guys like you were coming in with beer bellies. They're like,

I don't really have like it's a booze. They're like, yeah, he's got like. No, actually I found a new place, Burlington Co factory. Oh, Burlington's good.

Oh, man. Yeah. Suit? Nice. 4995. I've got a nice. For a nice three-piece suit.

I got a nice London fog. I was like, whoa, you cannot go wrong with. this. Yeah, no, you can't. This is, oh, this is amazing. Yeah. Are you, are you originally from New York? I'm born here. Born in Astoria.

Born in Astoria? I love it. You still live in Astoria? I love it. I won't, I will not move. Because why? It's the closest thing you're going to get to like a suburb in New York, you think? Not because everything is there. Like what? Transportation, all the bars. I mean, it's like to go hang out, why should I go in a city and pay $15 for, A beer. A beer.

Yeah. That I could pay $6,000, $7,000. At your local bar, yeah. And it's jumping a cab, and it's $8 home, and that's it. A lot of your friends still live in the same. Oh, huh. Do you, wait. You were class president, right?

Yeah. Yeah. Class president. Yeah. That's my favorite things. That was, man. I think I blew everybody's mind that day of graduation day. Wait, what grade is this?

86. So, what do you? 86. Yeah. Eighteen. Twelve year. Hold on. 86 grade.

86. I graduated. Yeah. I said I'm going, going out with style. So you wanted to get B class president? So I came in with a tuxedo. Yeah. Pulled up.

Callie Klein? Pulled up. No, no. Top tuxedo. Yeah. Pull up. I told my one teacher, I said, you're going to see me pull up in a limo. I pulled up in a limo.

Everyone was blowing their mind. Like, holy shit. He really came in a limo. Family and all. Your family came with you. Yeah, everybody, my grandmother, grandfather, my sister, everybody was there. And you have no little people in your family, right? No, I'm the, I'm the only one.

You're the only one. That's fucking awesome. That's awesome. You just get to, like, you know, you hold that status. Because you always assumed it was like, like, I've seen big people little world or little people big world, and I assumed it, I thought it was like a thing where everybody's, like, the whole family's little people. They have kids that are like, taller than them.

Little people Big World I think the one Do you like shows like that Or you're just like What the hell is this? I'm not I mean

Reality shows If I could get my own reality show I'll do it I was the guy I was like the guy At the bar That Got it all going

You were like the The pump up guy I was almost like the president Every time I've seen you at the bar He's always on the bar Oh really? He is on the bar It is a stage

Like what Okay wait Which, which, okay, so wait, bars hire you to be the hype up man. Yeah. But what, okay, so what is, what, it just gets a crowd going. What, now why would you need to get the crowd going at a bar? Just because, like, just to get the, like, bar. I would drink more.

Do you, if I saw him on the bar throwing. Yeah. They want to have fun. They want to go crazy. Yeah. I mean, I, was just in Hoboken. Yeah. Where, which bar?

Uh, Wicker Wolf. Wicker Wolf. Great bar. Great Wings. That's a great bar. Plus, we, we own one in Philadelphia. Wicked War Philadelphia Uh-huh

Uh-huh People know when I come in Oh yeah The man is here The man is here The class president I have I have two

Two bodyguards with me From the bar When I'm on the bar Make sure no one Gets out of here And when I walk around And when I have to use the bathroom They clean out the bathroom

So You can just do it by yourself I do my stuff Quick and I'm out You do your stuff Dude that is such Pimp status Like, people clean the bar before I go piss or shit in there.

Yeah, because drunk people will fuck with you. Oh, it happened one time. What happened? Some girl, she knew what she was doing. She spilled a drink so I could slip on my ass. No way. So that's why. She tried to antipil you.

Well, I saw it. I fell right on the bar. Because you had new free runs. You were like, I got this. And that's why I have these guys that just watch. one guy in the back, one guy in the front. So when I'm walking down the bar, pouring out shots, they can see everybody what everybody's doing

or everybody's going to try to do something. They were growing them in. Okay, it's time to you to go home. Wow. So people try to fuck with you like that. Oh, yeah. Why? It happened a few times that one girl got thrown out and her friends were still inside.

Like, I didn't mean to do it. I said, whoa, you're not, you're going home tonight. your friends to stay but you know many times i've been told you're going home tonight i've been told you're going home tonight a lot of times but i've never i've never tried to do that there i've never tried to like have a little person who fall you you kind of have people i kind of notice it's with like certain girls right like what's like any any particular hair color any any particular head color hair color i think it's just like they want to make make something

stuff with other friends. Watch this, watch this. Watch what happens to this guy. I'm going to, psh, oh, shit. Boom. He just fell in his ass. Well, my favorite thing you've ever told me is you were on an episode earlier. And you said, women will fuck you is like a gimmick.

And you're like, great gimmick, you suck my dick. You're like, yeah. Great prank. I got my dick sucked. I was going to ask that. He gets a lot of fucking pussy. You get a lot of pussy. Oh, yeah, all the time.

So much fucking pussy. My friend's Adelis. Do you watch his podcast? I saw our show He sent me a clip And I was like Oh this is I sent it to all my friends

Like too I love it I love it It's like You just come out and you just say You just tell the truth Yeah that's why I like that That's what makes the best podcast You've told the best fucking sex stories

I've ever heard this podcast They're all fucking I mean What's the name Lisa Ann That girl's up Wait you fuck Lisa Ann No, she was one of the judges. Yeah.

We did a win contest. Yeah. And they had met her. My boss told me, oh, Lisa Ann, porn star, I said, I had a look at it. I know her from her podcast. I said, wait a minute. I know this girl. Yeah.

I said, why do I know this girl? Who's nailing pale? I said, oh. Who's nailing pale? Yeah. Oh, I got her video. I said, I know who she is. well when we first oh my god she's sure i take a picture with you took two pictures and we were talking

wait a quick question tit's height is it tit's right in face because you were telling me before that like the good thing about being your height is there's tits always in your place that's the problem i mean it's so funny when i take pictures with girls i always look at okay she's a little disfay i got to do a little tip you toe to get close Yeah, it did. It's like being at the orthodontist office all the time. It's like, just tidies in your face. Constance. What is so funny? Is that what the orthodontas was like for you? I had a man. She's taking a picture with me and her friends are taking a picture. It's like, Dick, just cracking up. You just went like this and, whoa, just to get a ooh. Yeah, yeah. Yeah. A lot of times,

a lot of times I just turn around and go, woo. Put them right there. Wait, neither of you all have been in the dentist's office and had your head smushed by titties. No, all the time. No, my dentist. All the time, right? All the time. My dental hygienists never have, like, bazungas.

Oh, dude. Every time I've ever been to the dentist, there's always some big titty woman, and it gets right on your ear or your cheek, and you're like, this is why. She's been in this way, putting, I got the suckling thing in your mouth,

and she's like, I got to clean your canines, Mr. Randy, and you're like, I love the canines. Get over here. But, yeah, this girl, a lot of pictures I have. I have taken.

Oh, my God. These girls are crazy. Okay, wait, wait. Okay, so, hold on. So, okay, so class president, then you go to culinary school. Then you finished culinary school. When did you? I didn't go to culinary school.

You just wanted to be a show. I was supposed to go to Kobe Skill. That was up in, upstate New York. Right. Orbany, somewhere around there. Okay. And then. And I just like, this is too far.

I don't know if I'm going to be able to deal with it. Yeah. So I just started doing it on my own. Right. I learned from a lot of people and stuff that I learned today is like, how'd you learn how to do, too? You cook this this way. You don't have to cook it that way. Right.

So that's, I mean. But then, but then, so then from there to becoming like to becoming a stripper. A stripper actor. Uh-huh. Yeah. What is, how did that happen? What was it? I did one, one, one, one, one.

event where somebody asked you to take your clothes off. Actually, I forgot what year where that was. That was a... I think it was 10 years ago. It was all 10 years ago. But wait a minute. Okay, wait. So somebody asked you to do an event.

They said, would you want to... They said, would you want to do this? And you said, sure, why not? I mean, stripping? Damn. I mean, my friend is like, what the fuck? You make that kind of money in one hour?

I see. Yeah. Can you tell us? How much you're making, like, how much, the most you've ever made in, like, one hour? Oh, it's gone, it's gone, it's gone, probably a thousand or more. Oh, fuck, yeah. A thousand or more in an hour. Yeah.

Yeah. And that's all dollar bills. You're losing money doing this podcast. You got, you, you got your pay. And it's like the girls are just going nuts and nuts. Like, I did have one time, oh, man, this was, I had my driver, who was a good friend. And he's bring him in. Girls are like all over him.

This is Bachelorette parties. This is a batch, oh my God. Have you ever fucked a woman's about to get married? I won't say. That is hilarious. So girls are doing that on Bachelorette parties. They are banging. He won't say.

I won't say. You won't say. You're a good worker. That's why you're going to get. So she already had like the 500 in cash on her. This was, I forget, I think there's a friend or the bride one of the head by me. There's always stuff. I always say this.

I don't know what's like Bachelor of Priests. There's always the person who's not getting married. He's trying to make it as crazy as possible. She went to her pocketbook, took whatever care she had out. And she said, Freak it, I'm writing you a check too. This is, her friend came all ripped up the check. And my friend was like, I wonder how much the check was for. I said, I didn't even get to see the check.

Oh, yes. You couldn't even get mad about it. No, I didn't get it. They took care of you. The girl, the girl, just, no way, I'm not doing that. I'm not, I'm an honest girl. I'm not gonna, and she was getting pissed off at her sister and the maid of honor. Being an honor.

But it turned out to be a good party. Yeah. Are you the only one who usually goes and dances or is there like somebody else who comes with you? Just me. Just me. But you have other friends. Okay, so you have a lot of stripper friends, right? Well, half of them,

having them got married, having them don't dance no more. Oh, shit. I got shook. Do you still do it? Oh, I got a party. I got a party on Saturday. I want to go.

These girls all, we were just texting just before. Yeah. These girls can't wait. They shut down the bar. It's just going to be the girls in the bar, bartender in me. And tarps,

because of how fucking, how much coming lady piss is going to be on the floor. No comment You go full nude or you go only two string You go cheese string Yeah I've worn one of those

Those are nice They're comfortable No I get custom made Very sexy ones Really? Yeah Where do you get a made A guy mixed them in Brooklyn

My cousin and I So when I was younger In high school My cousin and I We used to play hockey And there's a Hockey helmet Called the Red

Bauer 4500 Which is like The most popular hockey helmet in the league. And I went to go show my my cousin was like, oh, I've never seen this helmet before. I was like, let me show you. I went to Google, I typed your red 4,500.

And I click search on the images. And the first thing I came up was this guy's nut sack in like this nice like pocket. Yeah, yeah. It's like a G-string with like a pocket. And I go, oh, that's not what this is, obviously. But like, we should order these. And we do, we order these red G-trings.

I was only, when I was, when I started, it was only Speedo. Yeah. And I did a show and then a regum male dancer, tall guy. He's, oh, man, I love you, man. You're great.

I could get you so much work. But we got to upgrade you from a speedo to a reel to a string. To a drill G string. And he says, I'm going to give you this. Keep this. I always have extras with me. Use this. The girl's going to love it.

You shared a G string with this guy? No, no, it's a brand new one. Oh, thank God. He always keeps extra because sometimes these girls could get a little crazy. Oh, they rip it. off. Rip it off. So they want to see your

dick. Oh. Oh, God. But then at that point, it's like, just take your dick out. Who cares? Yeah. What,

why do you not, why do you not go full nude if it's a private party and no one's ever going to see? No one's ever going to see it. It's a private. Yeah. Oh, yeah.

It's like, it's like, you just don't want to. It's like a little. Do you ever see dancing bear? I have seen, I have the dancing bear. He's got dancing bear. I met the dancing bear.

Holy crap. At the box at Lower East Side. Holy crap. Are you, are you, you can't say it? I've seen some of these videos and I cannot believe. Holy, what goes on. But I've read, I've read up on it. It's all fake.

It's all fake. Because I kind of, I kind of caught on some things. I said, wait a minute. All these girls have red, red, bloodies, uh, bracelets. And the girl has a green one. Oh, bracelets. Yes. Yeah, bright, probably nobody has braces.

Sorry. And I said the girl has to, she's the only one, the green one. That means that that's the one that's going to get married. She's the one that's going to get banged. Oh, get banged? Yeah. Oh, the rest of them are just extras. They're just like sucking dick and.

Well, the reason I found out about it was when I looked up on it, because after I saw the dancing bear at the box, I was like, oh, have you heard of the box? It's like a burlesque, it's like a burlesque club in Lower East Side Manhattan. It's good. I think you. Nice place. it's cool it's nice yeah I think you'd enjoy it

they do a lot of like shows and stuff like that like different like sex acts on stage it's cool oh I used to do Webster Hall where's that oh Webster Hall oh man that's that's in uh that's in uh lower it's in not lower east village East Village East Village around the court

from Amsterdam Billiards what is it 8th Street or 9th Street Yeah it's right around the court from Amsterdam But now it's it's totally it's a different They used to do Friday nights Which was what? They would get $100.

So guys or girls, whoever could go, they only have, I think, two minutes. Yeah. Show your shit. Show your tits. Show your dick. Fool. Some of these girls used to go, whoa. Some of the guys used to...

Jerk off. No, just fucking pull it all. Yeah. So whoever we were line up, and I would be the guy to say, okay, you're the guy that got the $100. So it's all based on size, or is it, is there any other guy that is it? No, it's more or less how the crowd gets. How the crowd gets crazy. So if somebody had a tiny dick, but they got the crowd going, they win.

It depends. It's all how you use it. It's who's up there. You got to have talent. And I remember doing, I had to dress up as a priest. Okay, wait, so let's back up for a second. You were the judge. I would walk back and forth.

I am so fucked up right now. I will have no idea what's happening on my own podcast. So, wait, you were the judge. So Webster, Websterall used to hold these live, we would go like this. Okay. Contests. This one.

It's a crowd. This one. This one. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You get to. It always depends on what the crowd, what the crowd goes for. Yeah, the noise. And I'm like, okay, this is the girl.

she showed it all she gave it all right she got a butthole would be a win right she got

she got her she got a hundred dollar bar tab that's all you did was a hundred dollar bar tab for showing your pussy but back then

it was 10 years ago that was a lot of money yeah but yeah that was that was crazy but Webster Hall stopped doing that that was like the

kill Tony of of sex shows wepte it changed different owners. They went in a different way. They didn't want to do that. Suddenly they became a bunch of fun. They more or less, they more or less just do parties. They don't go crazy on

how all other clubs do it. So, okay, so wait, so obviously you're in this world, right? No one, people have approached you to do porn before, probably. You know what? A lot of girls ask me when I'm dancing. Yeah. Can I ask you something? Have you ever done porn? Yeah. I said, no, never. Never.

You just wouldn't do it. I just won't. I have respect to myself now. I just, I love what I do now. Yeah. If I'm sure, if you do it, you kind of go a different way. Because, because it's more. I mean, look up.

She's done it. She's the big, she's a big, she's a big point. She was a big, big, big, big one. Uh-huh. She's done. She got married. She has a kid. Right.

She's done. I mean, she made money. But it follows you for life. That's why you don't want to do. Well, that's the thing. I mean, I look at having these girls. Okay. If you do it right.

Yeah. Like Lisa Ann. Lisa Ann. Lisa Ann got out, got away Scott-free with it. She did it. She done great movies. Now she has a top... Top podcast.

Podcast. Yeah. Series X-M. radio show called Better Haves with Brett Rable. Got to plug you. I love Brett Rable. Anyway, go ahead. And she does great. I mean,

my God. But that's like, that's like less than 1% that get out of it. Yeah, but I think things have changed a little bit. So I think things have changed a little bit too. I think people are more receptive to porn stars now. Yeah, because now it's like, I can't get open my fucking Facebook without it being a porn star podcast.

And I'm going to click it every time. I'm going to be like, whoa, what? She's like, that cat is like, does size matter? I don't care. I've heard the same answer to the question a thousand times. No, like. Every time I'm going to click on the porn. porn star and be like, what did she have to say about it? Right. Totally. I think a lot of porn stars are

having bad times now. Just, was it last week? Last week we lost one. Cagney Lynn Carter. Cagney Lynn. Casey. Cagney Lynn. Yeah. Cagney Lynn. Yeah. Cagney Lynn. Yeah. Cagney Lynn yesterday. That's how my algorithm knows me. That girl. They go, did you know? Tagney Lynn died? I go, Jesus. My God, beautiful. Cagney Lynn? Yeah. She was gorgeous. Another one It just happened Just past week How did she die?

It's the same way every time She OD She ODed Remember Autumn But there's another one right now That she's fighting for her life And They're just hoping

She comes to it Do you think You think that's... Oh she's not dead? I have an update She's in critical condition I have an up She's like

Incredible But Do you think that directly has to do with the mental health decline that comes with maybe like, you know, like all the scrutiny that they probably get from doing adult. I think so. I think so. Yeah, I think this is the thing.

I have really strong pains on this. It is. I'm fucking hammered right now. So fuck them. You know what's so crazy? What? I never realize that business. It's crazy.

Used to be a million dollar business. And now? Today it's a billion, billion, billion dollar business. So they don't give a fuck? about you? I mean, if the girl does it right, she knows what she's doing, and she says, okay, you know what, I do it for a year and I'm out. Yeah.

But I think it takes on their, uh, their, uh, their mental, like, uh, I'm sure. Toll? I'm sure the family, a lot of the families must, uh, I don't want to have nothing to do with you. Riley Reed's family just owned her Actually, yes, I will own her though I will take back whatever Riley Reid seems fucking awesome Yeah, whatever

Oh, she's part of my family Yeah That girl is She's amazing She seems amazing She's beautiful You better? No, I saw her

I I couldn't believe I know the same exact way Rayne Because I'm like you I'm like she's amazing I love her a lot It's beautiful

I saw the one video I love you, Riley. Yeah, she, oh, she was in... Oh, what was the movie? I love that you know, first of all, blacked. I've seen this one. First of all, I love that you know the movies. But she took a bat up her, uh...

Shut up. Yeah. Like a... Caboose? Caboos or, uh, Poonani? I was watching an interview. A flying bat or like a... No, no.

A bat. Like a Louisville slugger. A slugger. Okay, but I do you say black dig. It's like half the size of a fish. She put it in a slugger She put it in a pussy or ass Yeah

But she was doing an interview in a little more Because they were on the way to The pawn chute And the one friend She said yeah I took Yeah I put it back How far did you go?

I got it up there as far as I could go Yeah before you get impaled Oh my God Oh my God Then I was looking at it up I said I gotta check this out And she actually took Oh my God

This poor girl has to be in pain the size of that bat and the size of my ass that's what I normally think when I see a baseball bat in somebody's asshole they gotta be in pain dude yeah no dude I never knew

I see friends here look at this video and what the holy shit is that fucking crazy? No this is all real this is a horse do you mind if we get in some of your like because I feel like you've had some I mean if you're comfortable we can cut whatever you'll

want, but like, you've had some sex capades. You've had some fun. Can you talk about any of it? None of it's paid. We're just talking all just adventures. Actually, from here to here, my fist was up a girl, so for a, for a show. Her ass? No, I'm busy.

Really? It went that far deep? Because he can hit the angles. Like, your dickhead can't do all this shit. Was she going crazy? I put the rubber glove on and put oil a lot. No. And she just she told me what to, well, it was the party. It was the batch of party.

She was the bachelor? I never did a bachelor. This guy, let's put it this way. This party

had so much going on. Okay, yeah, well, that's a lot, number one. What else was

going on other than besides that? Somebody got shot the leg. There was actually real, uh, real sex show.

And my body, yeah, I was like, he put, he threw the mask off, she put the mask on because she didn't want, and way back

was called one, they heard your dye a mattress. They had two mattress delivered to the bar. Oh yeah, that was a real sex show. Two matches. Wait, are they brand new mattresses or are they used?

No, these are brand one new one. From like mattress. I'll tell you, this guy. I feel so good to jizz on our new mattresses. This guy had to spend he spent good crazy money. The restaurant. The restaurant was shut down because it was a private party.

That would be so funny. Somebody was just eating while you're fisting. We're going to put a curtain over here. Don't mind the noise. There's a kid making fucking draw little pictures in the table. It's at carbon. No, I remember.

Enjoy your spicy ricketon. We're going to put up in the noise. I remember we had a topless bartender and a girl waitress on roller skates.

Okay. Wait, actually a new girl in row of skates. So they got the bartender. We're going to pay you this. Go fucking, go nude.

And she's like, whoa, that kind of money. That's a lot. So she was like nude bartender. New waitress walking around, getting drinks, everybody. But the bartender wasn't supposed to be nude. She was the single. No, she was only supposed to be topless. Wow.

And the money, I guess so. It got her. It was like, I don't get money. I'm not going to make that kind of money. Yeah, she's like, it's a private party. She was like, it's a private party. If you're listening and you marry me, this will be my bachelor party. just fully accept that

there will be a little person fissing a woman on a mattress somebody's on roller skates non-negotiating. There will not be a little person on fisting somebody on the messenger. Randy will be fissing a chick. Randy, I will have you at my bachelor party.

That was the whole thing was like my boss said, Randy, yeah, we got the girl for you. This is what they want. They want you to fucker. Like, too, I'm not going to do it with a fun. I don't know how many. How many people are there?

What's the deal? And when I saw the girl, when I got there, I said, oh, that was the girl. They switched around. She was hot. And the girl said to me, oh, you're the one I was going to fuck. I said, yeah? Oh, my God. Damn it.

Why? She wasn't attractive? Oh, she was attractive. Oh, my God. I just wouldn't do it. Why? You wouldn't do it? I just wouldn't do it.

Because you were like, yeah, this is. Because it was. This is going beyond what you believe in. Yeah, I was like, I like, I like that. to keep my private life a little different. What if you had a full gimp mask so nobody could see your face? Well, the guy that, my buddy that was the dancer would work with me, he banged her. He banged the boss.

He banged your boss. Yeah. Your boss is a girl. How partner was Randy, this is what you're going to do. You're going to put this glove on and this is how we're going to do it. We're in the back, testing a little out. Okay. I know how to do

I'm come out Come out as a cop We got a school girl We got another cop And we got like a Prison Prostitute We pulled them over

Okay This is a whole scene You were like You were like reenacting Macbeth Yeah What was crazy Put it more in The guys

Started trolling more money And they There were guys At the party It was all guys With What women do you think are flicking their bean to watch as a woman get fisted? I don't know.

I mean, all the other shippers had to watch this party. Like, okay, wait, okay, wait. I don't know how you. The girl your fisting is a prostitute. No, no, no. She played a prostitute. She's a bachelorette. No, she's the, she's one of the dancers.

Entertainment. Oh, she's entertainer. From the same company that you're. Yeah. So you knew, she's like your coworker. Yeah, yeah. Oh, my God. And I'm like, see her at the water cooler next week.

She's like, get to see again. She just told me... She just told me... She just told me, listen, this is what we're going to do. I'm going to loop you up. Get ready. And I'm going to just point you

how to do it. It's like you're going to one or two and then you're going to slip right and you're just keep going. The more I kept going, the more they kept spending money. Which means you go further. Yeah.

And these guys... Jesus Christ. These guys... These guys were, these guys were, these guys were spending. Thousands. Hundreds. Hundreds. Hundreds.

Hundreds. Hundreds. And the other girls are like watching all this like, oh my God. This is crazy. Yeah. But I think, I mean, really, everybody walked out of there. Where to go, mine. Yeah.

With a go, my. And, and the customer leaves happy because they're like, oh, we saw what we got, we got what paid for. Oh, he. I mean, the guy that was getting married. and the guy that threw the party? Yeah. Oh, man. They were just, ugh.

They were so happy. This is a great party. Yeah. Because that's, honestly, it's a crazy show. But at the same time, it's also like, you're doing your service. This is what, this is what they're paid to do. I mean, what's so funny when I tell my friends,

man, no way. Your fist was, I said, yeah, my whole. Oh, my God. Yeah. Girls, when I tell girls, like, I want to meet you now. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, they want to hang out with you. You want to hang out with you.

What are you doing tonight? You know what? It's so funny because I've had, I've had at-home strippers before. And I'm the type of person. Like, how do you feel about this as, like, a performer? Because I'm the type of person where, like, I meet an at-home performer. And then afterwards, I'm like, oh, like, after seeing the whole show, whatever, I've been in the situation where I go, I'd love to take you out or something.

Because, like, I get attracted to some of them. You know what I mean? Is that, is that? I've been at parties. I've been at parties that it's crazy. Like, dancing, I'm done. I change. We're hanging out.

And this one girl, I mean, this happened one girl. She was like, tip me very good. And she just said, I'm out of here. I got to go. I got to get to my other dinner. And we're on a same elevator together, like going down. So you just such a great job. I said, thank you.

And I thank you for the tips. What are you doing tonight? Yeah. And I'm like, well, I was going to go hang out and maybe have a drink somewhere. Yeah. All right. Why do you come back to my place? We have a drink.

I'm like, no way. You said no? No way. This cannot be happening. Yeah, it's not. I say that every time I get posted. I said, there's no fucking, all right. All right.

Let's, we want to go. We're going back to my place. don't worry, I got beer and wine at my place. I'm like, all right. I should just hang out, have a drink. I'm just going to use the bathroom. I'm going to do a few things in my room.

She comes out. Just bar and panties. I'm like, holy shit. She was hot. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. He was going to nut on the podcast. She was that hot?

Oh, my God. Really? This girl was, oh, man. No. And she just turned around and says, I'm all yours. I'm like, hell of your shit. I didn't have to do nothing to say. Come on.

We're going into the bedroom. All right. And that was it. Got it done. We both walk up in the morning. And she was like, absolutely. We're going to go take a shower? I mean, I had to put the same clothes on.

So you were even looking like a leprechaun? No, no. I was dressed in my regular street clothes. after dancing. Is this in New York? Yeah. And she says, come on, we're going to go have breakfast. All right.

And he says, this is for you. What do you mean? This is for me. You paid you. Just keep that in your pocket. I had such a great night. I'm like, oh, God, can I get your number? No.

Just a like a one-night thing. She said that. Yeah. So that's, because that's the, that's the con to it all. Because the pro is you get you get somebody who's like down to be crazy like that for a night. But then afterwards, like, I want to like maybe explore this and they go, well. I have friends. I have friends like, oh, my God.

I wonder what he must be like. I have one girl in Astoria. She thinks she wondered what you're like in bed. Oh, she looks at me all the time. She sexualizes you. She looks at me and less. We joke around. Yeah.

And. I look at her and she's looking at me like something going to your mind and then like I wonder what he must be like in bed wonder what the slammer is like yeah so get your street cred up with the ladies up in Astoria for sure

Oh Astoria? Yeah You're throwing dick around there Yeah it's great Yeah Yeah yeah yeah That's great You walk into Eddie fucking bar

They're like Oh Randy's here Have you done threesome, two chicks? Five times. Five times! Dude, what is it like? Because honestly, like, I've wondered about this. Is it hard to be in a threesome as a guy with two girls?

Three times. Three times was three Brazilian girls. Two Brazilians! Oh, my God. Oh, I would have. I mean... What I would do. Can I pause you for one second?

I like the way that he stares off in the distance before starting the best. sex story I've ever heard. It is like watching your... You ever hear your grandfather tell stories? You're like, Jesus Christ, he's like... No, we went from the jacuzzi to the bed. Back to the jacuzzi. Back to the bed.

Don't too relaxing. We're both in the jacuzzi. We're just... Now, okay, wait. So, because a lot of guys probably have this question. How do you get a threesome to happen? Like, what's the best... Like, there's probably no specific way to do it.

But what's, like, the best tactic to get a threesome to happen? Because I have a buddy who tries to get the reason to happen all the time. He thinks it's just like two girls hanging out with him. He's like, oh, I can just probably get these two to make out. But I think it's more than that where you got to be like... I just talk to them. You just talk to them. I just talk to them.

And are they, before you talk to them, are they like into each other enough to like hook up? No, we just start talking. And I'm sure they must have probably done this before. Like, oh, the first time, let's go. Wow. are they making out while they're hooking up with you? Like, why I'm banging one, the other two are just going at it. Wow.

And then I switch over. And you're, how long you lasted in these things? Too! We go for hours. Hours! Your stamina is probably good. Are you a blue-choo Viagra guy? No, I don't do no, I don't do none of that.

How? I'm 27 and I'm taking fucking Bluetooth. Because you're probably desensitized with all this stuff because you've been around it for so long. I don't, it doesn't bother me. Yeah. Because just how they feel. I was like, you just, she just, she says no more now.

She's, I need to rest. Okay, now I got to take care of you. He's got a fucking hog. He's been, he's talked about it before. He's packing. How much packing? What's it? I mean, my ex-girlfriend.

Yeah. She wanted me to become her wife. I thought you were to pull it out of your fucking. He was tucked into his fucking sock. You want to see it? It's right here. He's like, you know, he had on his cap. I thought it was just going to be poking out.

Yeah, she lived in the Bronx and, man. Is she a little person or no? No, she was a tall, beautiful Oregon girl. Good for you. You're pulling fucking anything. And, man, she's like, I had almost put the pillow over her. It's too loud. That's loud.

And the people next look. Keep knocking. Shut up. Shut up. Yeah. Well, that's the Bronx. Shut up. That's the Bronx.

Well, you're also, I didn't mean to catch up, but you're saying you're perfect height for doggy style, right? Because most guys got to be on the neat. But you were saying before the angle you're hitting doggy style, perfect doggy angle. Today, me, I like it, a cowgirl. Cowgirl. Girl should look at me.

I'm just going at it. And you're just looking at her. It's like, she's ready to pop. Ready to pop. She's, it's that time that she's ready. Oh, she's coming. She's coming. It's hitting her now. Oh, she's loving it.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. I gotta take a break. Okay, take a break. And you never have to take a break. You're never, like, down the break. No, as long as I got Gatorade. Gatorade. Gatorade helps your libido. Oh, but.

You know what the best thing is? Pineapple. Oh, I love pineapple. You make your cum taste better, right? It's, this is the thing. Make you come past it, well, and I tell the girls to eat pineapple, too. Makes your pussy taste better? Oh, my God.

Do you ever, oh, dude, I've eaten out a girl that has terrible pH balance. Tastes like dog shit. Oh, it happened. And I still do it. By the way. I will still eat you. I still eat out. It's really that asshole tastes better than pussy.

Because it's 97% of the time. Asshole just tastes like copper, pennies. It tastes like pennies. I sometimes have some skin flavored assholes. Dude, literally. I think this has become a sex show. Yeah. Which, by the way.

It's a St. Patty's Day show. Yeah. We haven't even mentioned St. Maddie's Day. Wait, which, by the way. Has it ever happened? It has happened. Yeah, girl says, put your elf elephant on.

I want you to do me your elf outfits. Oh, they want a role play. They were like, dress up. Do you ever do an elf voice when you fuck them or is just the outfit? No. Wait, do you think, do you, this is an honest question. Do you think role play helps what happens in the bedroom? Do you think it helps enhance the mood?

Or you think that's a myth? Because I think it's corny. It depends on the girl. Yeah. You really got to get into it. I mean... Depends on how good she is at acting. I mean, there's some girls that have been...

I mean, it was not fake and it was... Fucking real. Yeah. I could see it in eyes. Like, eyes are... This girl's having it all guys. Boom. Yeah.

Perfect. She just came out. It's all. I felt so good. Oh, man. Do it again. Give me 20 minutes. I said, right.

Let's go. Let's take a little relax. Yeah, this is funny as a guy, you become like a worker where they're like, can you be ready to go in 10 minutes? You're like, absolutely. I hope so. Here I go. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

I mean, I'm the biggest. It's interesting that year 55, having the hardest dicks in the planet. I take dick pills. Like, I, I, I, I. You do the gas stations? The first time I want to fuck somebody, dick pill. Make sure I'm good to go. We go, bluechoo?

Or, or like, romantic night, like, when I was a relationship, like, Valentine's Day, Bluechew. You want to get my shot? Yeah. Oh, fuck yeah. Oh, I'll take it another. He says it like such a fucking pimp. He's like, you want to go ahead and, uh...

It's a little shot for a safe patty safe. Wait, I'll take one with you, Randy. Hold on. Well, it's all fucking take one. Well, I'll go. All gonna take one. But yeah. Have you done three-sum of two dudes and one girl?

I never, never bring guys into it. Okay. I don't blame you. I, that's just me. I just never. I like my private life. The girls love it. Thank you, sir. Dude, I am so fucked up,

Braddock, we might, we might coppers with ten minutes. I have, I have done it with two sisters and a friend. What? Yeah. Dude, this is crazy. Okay. Cheers, cheers. Cheers, cheers.

Cheers, cheers. Cheers, cheers, fucking. Cheers, cheers, cheers. Cheers, cheers, cheers, cheers. That was a, that was a good. I'll be honest. That was a great. Oh, man.

That was a great, great, great. Great time. Wait, you had two sisters in a three. Two sisters and her friend. Okay. Their best friend. So this is a foursome? It was me?

Yeah, it's four people, yeah. Me? Two sisters and a girl. Yeah, it's a foursome. Yeah, it's all. It's fucking awesome, dude. Wait, okay, two sisters. Wait, can I stop this for one second?

I think this, I really believe this. I believe most people are fucking cowards and they want to live the life like. I'm wrong. Maybe some people just want to live a regular life. But I think a lot of people want to live a life like this and they're just too scared to get outside their regular sexual norm. And honestly, maybe I'm just fucked up. But I have a lot of enthusiasm for this. Because I think

there's a lot of people that would kill to be in this position right here where they're fucking three women at the same time. Dude, I mean, I don't think I can't. I mean, all my friends like, all my guy friends is like, oh shit, I said, no. And when they come down to the bar they're all hugging me,

like, those are the girls that you're I said, yeah. Yes. Fucking you bastard. I hate you now. How many married friends do you have that are just like in the garage? Oh, too many. Too many like, damn it.

Wait, Randy, have any people, have any women from your high school class ever requested to have you as a dancer? No. They know what you do? No. None of them know. No one keeps up on each other. I'm sure those, my teachers, they're not even here no more. Are you like on a website or do you have to go through like a social?

service to find you. Did you find you online? What is it? Well, he's on Instagram now. So by way, can you pull your Instagram real quick? Use, use. Yeah, I'll pull Randy's Instagram up, by the way. We'll do this at the end also, but.

You could do my Instagram is, uh, uh, 9671 Randy. 9671 Randy with my Instagram. And that's how you book you? Well, they don't have booked. I mean, there's a few people that have done it. because they couldn't find me and I just found me there. Can we do both? Sure.

But I get all these girls. Oh, my God. Every night. Every night. Dude, would you like to hook up? Sure. Where are you found? Texas.

You're too far away. All right. You're in Texas. You want to come to a story of Queens? Well, this is so awesome. Because every guy, this is my fucking thing. Every fucking guy, they love to get online. They go, oh, women don't want short again.

You want to do the guy. If you have a fucking charm, if you have a lucky charm, you could fucking tear it up. You can make it happen. No, it's one crazy thing. The one bar, I have one girl.

I know she wants to do it, but she's shy how to do it. You know how to say it. She looks at me at all the time. You know, buy drinks and talk. Just don't know how to say it. Yeah.

That they're a lot of it. They want, yeah, they want, listen, can we maybe slip to the left or right and get out of here and go back to my place? Sure. That's what they're, I think, they're shy or they're embarrassed? Right. Doesn't bother me. Yeah, I'm the same way. So my thing is I will be embarrassed.

If one was like, nobody can see that I fucked you. I'll be like, I don't care. Right. Like that really wouldn't, I have no ego in the sense. And I'm like, look, if you were going to bang me, like my way, I'm like, if you don't want anybody to know, you bang me, you don't have to tell a single person. I'm the type of person.

I don't really tell people I banged anybody either. Oh, unless people ask, like, this guy's probably banged Michelle Obama. Have you? The scariest thing is... Michelle? A BBW. How thick we talking?

Holy shit. She kept buying me drinks and like... At the bar. Yeah. So this wasn't even like an on-call. like job. No, I'm sitting by myself. And the bartends the shit, the drinks on the house.

So-and-so sent to... I can see her all the way down the bar, but I didn't know... I said, alright, let me go walk myself down and thank you. I sent her a few drinks and sent me... I'm like, holy shit.

This girl is... She'll kill me. I'll get lost or I'll have a heart attack. we were talking about this before it's funny that you said this because we were talking about before somebody watched a video of a little person fucking a BBW and they were saying it was like... No there was a girl there was a girl

pawnster yeah she's a porn star yeah she's a pawnsor she did a it's a guy in her in in the BBW I'm like oh my god they like they swallowed a girl

yeah but she enjoyed it yeah yeah we were talking about like we were joking about before the podcast, like, you gotta wear like a light hat. You gotta wear a light hat. It's like loading a musket. You're getting lost in there. Like, it's the size difference.

Like, especially like an Amazon woman. Yours is the Amazon woman. They're like fucking seven feet tall, fat as shit. And you're, you're banging that. Does that attract you at all? Because like, in my mind, I could go either way with like, I kind of want a fat woman to be mean to me. I don't know why it's been what I've been through recently.

You probably have a kink. I got a thousand different ones. Do you have kinks or no? There's one girl, Sophia Rose. I think I've heard of her. Oh my God. Born star. This girl, yeah, she's a born star.

BBW? BBW. My God, she is beautiful, beautiful face, crazy body. But I was like, whoa, this girl goes nuts. Sophia Rose. Oh, oh, she's hot. You see? She got the face.

She got the butt. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. You banged her? No, I. She could hold you on her tits. Her tits? Oh, my God.

Big a beanbag chair, dude. She would fuck you up. I mean. Oh, dude. That's hot for me. I don't know. I do fat. Totally fat chicks.

Just being mean to me and feeding me Doritos. I don't know why. She's like the BBW, the number one, number one porn star. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Did you tell Lisa Ann what you do? She knows what I do.

How does she know? Well, we're talking to that name. She knows I'm a shirber. And what she said about that was she's like, oh, cool. She's very sex positive. She laughs. I mean, like everybody laughs. They're like, oh, my God, that's so funny.

That's so good. She, that day, I didn't look at her as a porn star. No, no, no, no. You looked her as a personality. A personality. I mean, her body. That girl has, I think she's 41 or 42. That is crazy how young she is.

Yeah, she's very young. Oh, she's, ah. I mean, she did, done the years of porn. I looked at, I looked back when she started. She had enough in body now today. Huge. Amazing. Yeah.

Amazing. Wow. I think her, the movie I saw was dinner dance. I love that you know the cinematography. You know the cinematography. Because if I'm the type of it's talking about porn, I'm like, Well, I saw a movie the other day. It was called, you know, teacher, cucks,

husband's best friend to bang, you know, male or something. You know what I mean? Like, it's just like a very generic porn term. But you actually know adult film cinematography. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, I'm, I'm, I'm, the thing is, is, uh... Do you watch porn films in entirety?

Like, if you're watching... No, I'll look up, I'll look up something. look up this and look it up. And you're watching a few snippets of it. Just to see what it's all about. Right. It's like, now we have one porn star that's in the hospital and that she's fighting for our life.

Yeah. Because she did something that, who knows what it was, and looked up at videos like, oh, my God, no. You can't jerk off it. It feels weird. No, it should, like, Tritrina. St. Clair. She's a great.

She's on my Instagram. She's a beautiful girl from New York City. And when we lost, Chris. Cagnling Carter. Yeah. That took her apart because they were good friends. And now we have another one that's fighting because.

Now you say we're fighting. We have another one. Fighting for her life. So you put yourself, even though you don't do porn, you put yourself in the category of life. like sex work because like you do, what you do is like sex work kind of. It's like performance.

Me? Yeah. It's entertainment. It's entertainment. It's the same thing. It falls under the same category of entertainment. It's a little different. I feel like sex work was what happened when prostitute, which I'm cool, I respect prostitution. I think prostitutes started clumping in everybody who does anything sexually active as sex work. And you're like, well, these are different things. Everything's categorized differently. It's like, look, I've sent dickpicks. Am I a porn star? No. But it's like people want. want to say every time you've been paid for something it makes a thing. It's like, no, it's not all the same category,

but it's people who are on the far end of the I think the spectrum, which I'm cool with. I respect prostitution. I think it should be legal. But I think a lot of it's pros. I mean, it's Vegas, it's illegal. It should be here. No, I think all of it should be legal. You said it's Vegas. It's illegal. Vegas, yeah, you could do whatever you want.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. But, I mean, here in New York, now you've seen all the... You go to Jackson Heights. I heard that's the spot. Where the hell of that? Where the hell is that? You have all the migraines. We'll go out of it.

The migraines. All these girls came over. They have no way to make money. Maybe we don't go there. They're going to just sell their body for $20, $25. That's all. Whatever. Jesus Christ.

Yeah, that's why, like, if I go to a strip club and the woman has an American accent, immediately I'm, like, on board. But I get really weird. I'm almost like racist in that sense. I'm like, if somebody's Eastern European, I'm like, I don't know how you're making, I get weird about it. I get very uncomfortable. But speaking of St. Patti's Day, I was a trip club once.

Irish woman. She said she just walked on a strip club and told them she's here to work. She was hot as fuck and just went dancing. I was like, that's cool that you could go in places and just like let it rip. Are there any of the sales clubs here? Like male? Oh, hunkomania. Honkomania.

Hunkomania. Ladies, we got a couple of listeners. It's still alive. I used to work for them. I don't, one, two. Three live shows that they bring me in as the second or their guy to make the party. Oh, crazy. Randy, all I need you for 15 minutes, get on the stage and do you think you're out of here, you get paid.

Wow. Make it on to your next party. Wow. And those girls go crazy. They throw you a shit ton of money. Oh, God. Yeah. Did somebody approach you?

Like in the beginning, you'd be like, Randy, you got to try this. This be so fun. And you were like, nah. Try what? Like when you were, when you were first approach to do performing? Shipping. Yeah. Were you just like, were you very, were you very like, I don't know?

Were you like into it for a second? When I got the contract from one agent, okay. So I went out, bought a speedo. I said, this is what I'm going to go to. And I said, oh, this is fucking good. Because the money's so good. I said, man. I just made this one hour

This is crazy So I got more into it And Met my buddy Who's a Mel Stripper He said yeah I'm gonna change you

You're gonna change that into this When I changed that into that It would even went more nuts That's wild I even did a What he called The club in New Jersey Bada Bing

Bada Bing From the Sopranos It's actually a real It was a big It was a big birthday party Downstairs That the girl hired me She was a

She was a bartender But she was hiding for Her boss's birthday And I came in We have a surprise for you That was the biggest Biggest Biggest night

I probably walked away With 3,000 How much? How many How many minutes? Just one hour One hour

The tips Were crazy Yeah Because the girls Were still stripping Wanted to get downstairs To the party Yeah

And see And see And See this is where I stand We've been on a podcast Three times I want to party with you Sometimes

Because we have a good time Every time We're hanging out And I would love to just We're going with them To the bar after this We don't have a ton of time What time you got

We got a dip here We got 440 How much time you got Oh fuck yeah Yeah We might cut out some at the beginning because this is just getting accepted. We can get off. So wait, so, Rand.

So, all right. So sex parties are crazy. You've been to like an orgy? I've been to two orgies. Two orgies. And that's, that was crazy. I was the, what do you call? Were you invited as just like a regular, just like a, like an invitee?

Or were you just like, like, because like, I mean like, what, why would you get invited to an orgy? What happened? Everybody's naked. Everybody's naked then, like, there's no reason for, you. to be performing. This girl had a agency and she ended up calling me up. Randy, are you available

tonight? Yeah. I said, for what? They got the costume. They got a what? They got the costume what you go to wear. It's kind of crazy party but you're going to make a lot of money. I said, okay.

She picks me with a boyfriend. And she's dressed up and he's dressed up and he's dressed up. Yeah, it's an orgy. And they put just, I just wore my G-string, and I wore a pair of wings. And I had a thing on my body to pay out a spray suit. So it's supposed to be passion.

Passion. Love to get girls going, guys going. Oh, my God. It went crazy. Next minute, ready. Yeah, walk around, go have a lot. fun, give whatever. I'm seeing this one.

This one. Holy shit. This is a real, real sexual. Guys haven't banging this one. This one. I don't realize

this is what the Jewish life. Is this what the Jewish life is like? Oh, there's no way. There's a acidic neighbor. There's no way they're getting this much pussy. Holy shit. They were all Jewish. Like his seeds?

They don't care. They're not his seeds. No, not his seed. They're just Jewish. Are you Jewish yourself? No. Oh, yeah. I'm Italian.

I'm Italian. Are you seem Irish as well? Well, you are just like a lepracon. I put a little bit in. Okay, wait, okay. So, yeah, this party was I'm like, I don't believe when I'm seeing.

Were people asking you to join in? No, no. Not at all. Just give me a potion. Give me some of a potion. I mean, it was only a The thing that I had on my back Was a sex

What's that? Sex on The Rock or? Sex and the beach. Sex and the beach. That's what he told him. They knew what was going to happen. So they just looked at you as like a server? Yeah, just a server and just watched. And how many people were banging at this party? Everybody.

Like how many people were off the... And then asked my boss. dude, where you've been? I have a little fun. No, wait, he was at that party? She was at that party. Oh, she was there. Yeah, because she, you drove with that.

She was the, the contact and. So you drove, you watched your boss go have sex. I don't know what she was. But she had fun. Yeah. Were there people wearing masks? Nah. That was pretty open.

You know the microphone a little closer? I think today, yeah. A lot of girls, a lot of girls put a, put a mask on. I don't know. in life. I will say that it does bother me. I watch fucking weird porn out there. I was wearing a mask. I'm like, I want to see what you... Yeah, come on. Let me see your eyes. Let me see your faces. Yeah, I want to know who this is.

I'm watching. But I've quit porn because I was having sex recently. You actually quit porn? I was having sex, and I thought about a porno I saw while having sex. And it made you soft. No, but I was like, that's not the order it should go. I should not be coming about the porn I watched earlier today. I should be coming about the sex I'm having

right now. Right. Was it hard to quit porn? Look, I've relapsed. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But, like, I, no, out of the last three months, I've watched porn probably, like, once, twice. What kind of point are you like? Me? Uh, well, I like, like, a threesome, you know?

Nah, yeah. Two chicks? Yeah, two chicks. Sometimes, sometimes, you guys. Wait, wait, wait, can I, can I share a fucking, look, I'm fucking drunk as shit? Yeah, go ahead. You guys? Yeah, yeah, yeah, I tear it up.

I might tell this story right now. I wasn't going to share this in the podcast, but my therapist is, like, fucking go for it. Oh, you told your therapist about this? I had a devil's threesome Oh, holy shit Yeah, how it ran he's excited out Even Randy's like, what the fuck Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, okay

We'll get into it a second Dude, I am fucking Wasted right now Yeah, I don't know what happened I mean, dude, I actually got Really. You're pretty fucking up there We're definitely cutting the first 20 minutes

Yeah, whatever you gotta do Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah I was speaking to the two microphones You're my mom too. You had a double three-sum when? Like, fucking two weeks ago? A guy and a girl? Yeah.

Couple. Oh, they asked to be a part of it. A couple of fucking freaks. Yeah, well, wait a minute. They asked to be a part of it? Yes. I'm going to get one once Raddy hops in. Oh, my God. Ready, hurry up. Yeah, we do have all my family group chat's popping off. That's a bad time. Yeah.

This is the only thing. Ready, ready. Grab up, grab a Pabs. Grab a Pabs. Grab a Paps. Yeah, yeah. A PBR right there. I'm a grab. Dude, my favorite is Patty Devena. My roommate's gonna come home from home. And he's like,

what the fuck is going on? You guys are all shit-faced on the couch talking about a devil's threes? Is he coming home soon? Yeah, he's gonna be home with like probably one minute. Dude, Patty should get on this fucking bog. Oh, yeah, yeah.

Well, he's the most Irish. We haven't even touched to St. Patrick's Day. You definitely have a fourth person should bring him in. Yeah, oh, no, no. We might in some point. But, um, all right,

fuck it. Who gives his shit? My therapist is like, fucking go for it, talk about it. Okay, wait. Prefaces for a second. You had a devil's threesome. Yes. Your therapist asked, told you to talk about this.

She goes, I go, look. She. She, yeah. Oh, she says, is she hot? Randy's like, does she need, does she need a dancer? Maybe I can fix it up. I do because, like, Randy's little, then I go, man, I hope this horniness sizzles down. And then I meet Randy, and I go, I guess it does not.

But, so this is it It was funny Our first show Oh my God We went crazy Yeah We were just like We said we only have an hour

But I said you do what I mean today we're gonna I have no time Yeah As long as I get back to That's by the At my time

Yeah It doesn't bother me Right Am I gonna talk about The right. All right. This is the situation I got into a couple weeks ago. Fuck it.

All right. I'm fucking wasted in my own. All right. Yeah. How many girls? No, he just said. It was devil's threesome. He's just going to call me gay the whole time.

Wait, wait. Are you in a guy? I didn't bang the dude. I'm straight. I'm straight too. Randy's about to fucking just get a whole episode. Randy's like, I'm straight too, but I bang a couple dudes in my life.

For the love of the game? No, no. So what happened was dude? I was on, uh, this is three. weeks ago, I did ketamine and I'm on a zap call field. You know what field is? Of course. Fields for the freaks. I used to be and then I got

sextorated. It's the whole story. I'll tell you later. But go ahead. All right. That seems relevant. But I'm on field. I do fucking bump a ketamine and I get matched with somebody and says like me and my boyfriend are looking for somebody to do a threesome. And she's fucking hot. So I was like, all right, yeah, sure. I was like, hey, what do you guys up to tonight? She goes, come to her place.

So I go to their place. Nice place. Get in there. The guy is like what you describe is like a dude who was probably a little nerdy in high school, joined the Jewish fraternity in college, went to the gym a bunch. I feel like you know, like a lot of eight pie kind of guys. Okay. So he's like this yo, kind of like semi-nerdy guy. He's got like

an Apple Watch on. And I like that he is normal about it. He's like, look, I know this is fucking weird. He's not, he's not like the Romans were polyamorous. He's like, he's like, no, this is weird, but I'm into this. Like, alright, sweet. So I start making out with her. And, uh... The guy asked you,

he goes, start making out my girlfriend. No, no, I went. I was like, can I, you're asking like it's like, hors d'oeuvres or something. Can I, you mind if I? Were they hot? Both of them? I'm straight. Not a bad looking guy. Not a bad looking guy. Yeah. But it was very like,

What about the girl? What about the girl? Yeah, of course. Yeah, I was only there to have sex to the hot woman. I wasn't like, oh, let me. I mean, part of me was like. Oh, I'm over close. Closer by there. What's up? I'm always close up. By there. What? Close by there. You always close by there?

Yeah. It happened one night. The girl. Wait, wait, wait, wait. Hold on. Ready, ready, right. Wait, right. Go, go. Go, go.

Go. Go. One story at a time. Yeah, one story. Yeah. So what happens is I'm there and I'm making out with her and she's eating them out or he's eating her out. And then he's like, switch. And I was like, it was very weird.

He was like, okay. So now, which is the gayest thing ever done is eating the pussy after you guys eat at a pussy? He said like, yeah, he said switch. Yeah, he goes, okay. So I started eating her pussy. And then he goes, you guys go to the bed. And I was like, okay. How old?

How old? You and I are 27. They're our exact age. 27. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And they're this advanced. This is advanced sex. No, I respect.

I respect that. This is advanced sex. I respect it. I wouldn't be able to handle it. No, I would not. And then I'm banging her. And I noticed at some point they're both wearing socks and I'm not wearing socks. I'm like, did I miss, was there a sock memo?

No, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And I'm banging her and her boyfriend's just fucking beating it with his, I see his Apple Watch glowing while he's got a sock sauce on. So you're just looking at a dude being it. And she's kind of looking over it. And I'm like.

Yeah, he's got an Apple Watchout, so you know he doesn't have any SDs. He doesn't have any SDs. No, no, no, he's got registered. Yeah, he's not good. He's good, he's good. He's good. He's good. And then we switch off.

We do like a little bit of like, we're switching off Eiffel Tower wise. But the thing I don't like is that he's directing. So he's going like... Telling out what to do. Yeah, well, it's like a guy playing with an action figure and a Barbie. He's like, you go on top, you go here, you go there. And I was like, I don't want to. Don't tell me how to fuck your girlfriend.

I'm going to fuck your girlfriend. How your girlfriend wants to get fucked? Was she down? I'm gonna fucking girl. I'm gonna fucking girl. Was she like, was she like into it? Yeah,

but like it was weird because I started getting things from her and then I'm banging her and then he's whispering into her and I'm like, I'm missing out. You might hold the microphone closer. Yeah.

So I'm like, I'm like, what's going on? I'm like, are you guys sharing secrets without me? Like I'm getting feeling very left out. She's like,

he takes fucking smallest I don't know what you're saying. I don't know what's happening. So I'm a little bit. She's like, I don't love him. Yeah. Yeah.

And I'm like, what does it going on here? And then she quiffs a bunch. And then she's giggling. And then we're like, we could keep going. She's like, I'm going to take a break. And then it just never went momentum. I left. Lost my keys. Got locked out of my fucking apartment. And then I was like, God damn. And I left it to the

fucking threesome. So I was like, I never want to see people again. They probably never want to see me again. And it turns out I gave, I stayed at my buddy's house and his keys, we were both blink fitness members. So both of us just have. Each other's keys. Yeah. So we're just sitting there for hours at his place. And then it turns out, yeah.

Yeah, that was the story. Yeah. Did that couple ever hit you up again? Where they were like five-star review? No, and I'll be honest. I'll be honest. I'll be honest. I was like, lots of fun. Love to do it again.

It just no response. Yeah. The dynamics tricky. This one was two doctors. Hold the microphone closer? Two doctors, man. Two doctors. Yeah, two doctors, real doctors.

Women. She. Women. Women do doctors? No, a women and a male. He paid for me to come. But I had another. a little person, a female.

It's a divorce party. Okay. A divorce party? People have those. I was like, okay, I'm here. Where's everybody else? No, it's just me and the divorce girl and you and you and him. I'm like, oh, shit. We're doing everything.

This girl, which roses around the bed. Nice hotel, and she had to paste these on. Oh, my God, my God, this girl is gorgeous. She wanted it. She knew what she want. Oh, yeah, we have a fun. I went down to my G-string. The other girl just didn't go much.

Listen, listen, can we send her home? That's up to you. You pay for it. She just wants you. I'm like, okay. Dancing. One pace he comes off. One pace he comes off.

Oh, man. This is going to be a... And I'm looking at him up on the corner. He's beating it. He's beating his dick. I'm like, holy shit. This cannot be a nurse. This cannot be a doctor.

they would never do something like this but yeah she crazy wanted it but then she just backed up but he was jerking off in the corner he was jerking up upstairs why she was playing

with herself and I just said to her yeah that's probably what they do that's what I think every doctor does whenever I'm like I'm going with her up to there's probably a little person banging his wife always jerking up let me tell you the girl on her 36 double these

Great tits I took I fucking I just took You should be naked Like me I took a batches Well great tits

Great great tits 36 double these They're great jets Well I think I mean I'll be honest I'm really I'm a tick guy man

Yeah of course Yeah I think I'm a tic guy He's a Bud Light guy. He likes, you like Bud Light, he like tis. I'm a tic guy. I'm a tick guy. I think I'm a tick guy, too.

Well, you're also classic. You're a little older. Tits were bigger in a different generation. We're an ass generation. Tid eight? My God, they're getting bigger. The tits are getting bigger? Oh, God.

How much is life improved? The tits just keep getting bigger? No, I don't, I think life improves of natural. These girls are getting real. They don't have to get a... How do you feel about Sidney's? You ever seen Sydney Sweeney? No.

Oh, dude. You've never seen Sidney's Sweetie? We got a treat for you. How have you not seen Sidney? This is the heartthrob now. Who is that? She's gorgeous. I love her.

I think she's a... This is Sidney Sweeney. I'm like mad that she's in a relationship. I have no shot at her. Oh, she's... Oh my God. I know. Yeah, I know.

I know. She's not a porn star. No, no, she's an actress. She's gorgeous. My God. Yeah, yeah. Look those fucking yonkers. Dude.

That's what makes it. Have you ever seen her? She used to be like a, she used to work at like her dad's like auto shop or something. What? Dude, she has a TikTok where it's like like Sydney tool time or whatever. Like she fixes,

she fixes cars and she knows a lot about cars. And it's even hotter. It's her fixing cars. It's before she blew up as like an actress. That's insane. I know. I will say this. We got to wrap it up soon.

This is by the way. This is the St. Patrick's Day episode. It's a great, great. I came out told everything. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. It's a great show. We're going to do a more shot before we kick it off. Are we doing one more shot?

One more shot. Yeah, why not. All right, let's do it. Guys, we're going to go do shots. All right, all right, all right. Let me promote everything first. Okay, so, so Brandon, what do you want to promote? Oh, Rand, you're going to like this.

I'm in, uh, Lebanon, Tennessee on Thursday. March, what is that? Are you flying it? What is that? Oh, far is 14th.

I'm on, I'm in Lebanon, Tennessee, March 14th. Oh, Tennessee. This will be out before the late. This is a thing coming out on, St. Patrick's Day. I know. Can you, can you film show your phone, actually? Because I got to post this like soon.

Okay, okay, okay. Come on, let's get it. Let's get a thing. All right. Mike, do like a little intro. We're here in the morning good podcast. What's up? It's a Patty thing. Randy.

What's up? We're getting ready to do some partying. We're partying tonight. We're partying tonight. It's Monday. Dude, I'm at Monday. I'm at Lebanon, Tennessee, March 14th, 2024. Perfect.

These guys might be there. We'll be in a store here. getting fucked up tonight. In New York City on the 14, 15 to 16. Well, if you're in Lebanon, Tennessee, let me know, because I'll be there doing stand-up. Rand

will be in our story, though. If you're in a story, come check him out. We're going to be doing so much crazy. Yeah, this is coming out on St. Patrick's Day, so this is coming out Sunday. What are you doing Sunday? You find a little Randy. You got the gold bucket. You can get the gold bucket. All right, in your Instagram, can you

put the microphone closer? Little. What is it? Your Instagram? Yeah, I forgot. Little Randy. One six. No, no, no.

I'm not showing you down. I got it right here. So your Instagram is Randy 1. 16. 967 Randy. Thank you for listening. This was the craziest. Guys, thank you for listening.

I had a great time. I love you. I love you, too. Enjoy.