Morning Good - The God Flow - Episode 159

Episode Date: March 5, 2023

Osama Basal and Ryan Thomas join the show for the first time on today's episode. They talk a lot about Islam, Osama's experience moving from Syria to Michigan, and babies born with abnormally large testicles. Thanks to Ryan and Osama for coming on the show for the first time. Click their links down below for socials and more.Find Osama on Instagram @osamathecomedian and check out the show he co-hosts with TJ Francis in Manhattan called Clock Out Comedy.Ryan is also on Instagram @ryanthomascomedy, so follow him and also check out The Vegan Chitlin Circuit Podcast as well.As always, find Michael Good on Instagram @michael_good1125 and on Twitter @agoodmichaelThis podcast was produced by Paxton Fleming, you can find him on Instagram @yaboypax 

Thanks for the F-Shack. Love dirty mic and the boys. Hey, are you dirty mic and the boys? How you know who we are? What's this? They called the podcast? Morning. I love that.

Yeah, it's me with the boner on the front. Welcome to morning. All right, we're here, Osama Basal. Hey. And Ryan Thomas. Hello. And you're talking about that you have a 15-year age difference between you and your little brother?

17. 17. That's wild. Yeah, it's very... It's still bizarre. Yeah. So you take out more like a dad figure? No, I let his dad do that.

But I... Did you bully him or like, because that's weird? No, no. You're basically bullying like a baby as like a grown man at that boy. No, no. I've always been very sweet to him. He's a very nice kid. And, yeah, just, you know, I've always been...

I've also missed quite a few years in his life because I was here when the war started. He's from Syria, by the way. Yeah, just to start the podcast heavy. The war in my country and the civil war kept me away from my family for years and years. So I missed like five years of his childhood from the age of three to the age of eight and nine. I didn't see him.

Yeah. And then they came to Michigan. I know. Damn, dude, those are the cutest years too. Yeah, I know. You missed him like waddling about? Believe me, I've cried after a Knights of Coke afterwards. I'm thinking about him.

Wait, what? After nights of Coke? You ever get so high with your friends and just like, yeah. And you're up here and then you crash. As you crash, as you crash, I'm a horrendous brother. I'm missing his cutest. And I have pictures of him when he's a baby. You're doing coke off of baby pictures.

That's my brother, brother. I can't do coke. I get too. I've had like mental breakdowns. Word? Like full on mental breakdowns. Like, dude, I wonder if I'm going to try Coke. If I'm staying comedy long enough, I feel like I might do it.

but like the fact that you got to snort it is fucked up to me. No, you can drink. You can put in your drink and drink. Yeah. If you're going to do Coke for the first time. Actually, can you hold the mic closer, by the way. Actually, you can take the first snort, not to teach anybody.

But you can take the first one, get that like first high and then drink it with a nice, like sugar drink. And then that would actually elevate you slowly. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's a better high. Okay, hold the mic closer, by the way. Oh, yeah, yeah. Yeah, but I feel your stomach would get numb, though, right? Because you do in your mouth, it gets numb.

It's like, does your stomach just feel numb with you? Your stomach got all that acid. I mean, do you even feel your stomach in shadow? Yeah, I can feel like a sandwich in there, so I feel like a bunch of cocaine. I would feel like that. My stomach feels a little cocky. I don't know.

Oh, you can just rub it in your gums. Yeah, you can always just gum it. Definitely. Does that make you higher? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. It goes into your system. The cops would always do that in the movies, but it still gets you high.

So, like, the cops are essentially doing cocaine. I used to, like, you know, my mom's not going to see this, right? You're my number one listener, bro. I saw you on the morning a good podcast. You said about the cocaine habits. You said a mouth of cocaine. I love the Michael Goods podcast, my favorite. No, I used to like lick the tip of the cigarette where you smoke it.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, co-pop. Yeah, and then like dip it a little bit like a crack head and then just smoke. Oh, wait, wait, wait. They call it cocoa puffing? That's what we call it, but you, wait, so you tip the end of it where you light it? No, where I inhale from. Oh, that makes way more sense because if you smoke cocaine, it doesn't do anything. You have to try it to crack.

No, no, I don't smoke cocaine. But the cigarette, then your lips become numb and then you get a little bit of high. I was doing it wrong. I was licking the end of the cigarette, hitting it and then smoking. I hanged out with the best of the best. Oh, but you got to put it on the... Yeah, yeah.

Your people knew what they were doing. Yeah, yeah. Everybody I met taught me the best version of everything. Dweed and then, and Coke and... Wait, people you met in Syria, people you met in Michigan. When I was in Michigan. Detroit, right? No, Lansing, Michigan, Michigan,

Michigan, particularly is why it's a party. Oh, Michigan State. Michigan State. Oh, you weren't smart enough to get in the University of Michigan, which isn't even that hard to get into because it's like 50,000 kids. No, I didn't care. Then you party super hard at Michigan State. I didn't care. You know, plus, you know,

it's not about the intelligence at that level. It's about the, you know. The parties. The parties. Yes, exactly. I went to college for the party. Like, I literally imagine doing Coke and University of Michigan. That is exactly the point I'm making. The priorities are different. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. There are very few cool people. But I also, I thought

you're from Detroit. I don't know why. And I was like, I can't, Syria to Detroit. That seems like a lateral move. Like, that does not seem like That's because I'm Arab. Because I mentioned, and I have a joke, I mentioned I moved from Syria to Detroit, and that was a worse move. Yeah. But that's for comedic effect.

Yeah. Syria is worse. I would be very clear. To any list. Detroit is worse. Detroit over Syria. Yeah. No, no.

I did land in Detroit. That's, that's, yeah. I did land in Detroit. Yeah. How excited were you when you, like? I, well, I was, not. So it was a mixed bag. I really had mixed bag.

And then I remember landed in Detroit. I took a connecting flight to Lansing. Yeah. And they have a very small airport in Lansing. And I didn't know who was going to pick me up. And it was this Asian kid, Chinese guy. And he was a student, actually, but he was doing a summer job. And he had the...

And I got fucked all the way in. Like, the airports, they fucked me. Every stop, my name was Osama. Oh, yeah. That's an hard name. It's also... It's also 2010. So it's only nine years.

You're like, what are the chances is the second Osama? I mean, come on. Lightning doesn't strike wise. This cocky son of a bitch. Yeah. So they fucked me over in Amsterdam and they can. acting for them. They fucked me over in Detroit.

And then I landed in Lansing and then this 80s Chinese kid has a big sign with me and my roommate's name. It says, Osama and Balala. It says, Ahmed. I'm like, put the fucking shit down. Did you say Osama B? Yeah.

Osama B. Dude, that is so fucking fun. Osama B and A, Ahmed A. A. What? Al-Zawahiri? No. He's like, and Ahmed was coming the next day.

And so I was like, Ahmed is coming the next day. He goes, I just put the sign down with talking a little bit but I'm like yes I'm like I'm like I'm like yes

why would I lie is my roommate he's coming so and then he yeah and then I you know I went to his car and not to stereotype but he wasn't really like

you know comfortable driving and because I remember I told him how to turn on the light he was like didn't know I'm like oh you got a

you know an Arab czar the opposite we're taxi drivers so you know I'm like you got to turn and then I remember driving and Lansing

and you know Michigan is known for their potholes and they the streets are not lit up. I'm like, this is a third world country. I'm here. And he drops me

in this random campus area and I'm like, this is bad. What the fuck is this? America. Yeah. It was exciting. Because in my mind,

you're like, I assume it being positive, but I realize, but you're leaving a negative thing. So it's not like you're like going to Disney World. It's like you're leaving a shitty thing for a

No, it's not. No, no. Syria was, I also left from Dubai. I went to Michigan State in Dubai first. It was a long... Oh, I didn't know that.

Michigan State has a campus in Dubai? They had a campus. By the way, I hate to say this, can you take the glasses off? Yeah. Yours are five, it's a weird light thing with this. Because mine is cheap. That's why. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I'll call it down. I'm sorry. No, no, no, no, don't worry. I'm glad. The eye insurance glasses over here. No, but now you can see my nice green, blue Arabic eye is beautiful.

She lived in Dubai. I lived in Dubai. I lived in a neighboring city. I didn't live in Dubai, but the college was in Dubai. And they opened in 08, 2009 was my freshman year. and then the recession was going on so they had to shut down so people don't suit them and they were like hey we'll send you guys to America just apply for the visa

we told the embassy you guys are coming and we'll give you guys lower rates I was paying like peanuts when I came to America I was paying like three to four thousand

a semester Wait would you not have come No I don't have that much money No there's no you know no So if the recession didn't happen you would have just stayed at Michigan stayed in Syria In Dubai not in Syria

In the UA in the area of Emirates Yes I would have been there I would have probably Yeah just I didn't to come to the U.S. I don't have any... Your eyes are really pretty. Thank you, so. I didn't even know.

I zoned out for a little bit. Girls always, like, figured out, like, later. The girl got to fall in love with me before she realizes my eyes are pretty. Pretty eyes. They just brown. It's like a dream, you know? Like, these Arabs are really nice. Yeah, so yeah, I just, yeah.

So it was, it was really fun. And Syria, it was a year before the war, so Syria was, I actually wanted to go study college in Syria. I wanted to go back because I haven't lived in Syria growing up. I grew up in a different Arab Arab Emirates. Would you grow? In the United Arab Emirates. In the United Arab Emirates. The UAE. I never heard of that. Oh, that's a country? And then I lived in yeah. Bro, I thought that was like a group of countries. That's where Dubai is. It's like the United States of America's the United Arab Emirates. Immers are what is

equal to a state. Son of a bitch. And there's seven Emirates and one of them is the Emirates of Dubai. But I lived in a lower little providence that was close to a country called Allman. which is next to Yemen. It's getting more third world as I'm talking. Oh, yeah, no, no, no, I'm here for it. I used to, yeah, so we used to, what's it called?

Yeah, so I used to just live there and then take a bus to Dubai to go to college and, you know. I don't know that's that close. I have that close. I have no idea where... It's like an hour and a half drives usually take an hour and a half, like, bus with a bunch of other college kids to go to Dubai and then come back and stuff.

So when they shut down, I came here, everything was really swell over there. It was, I wanted to just come study here and leave. I didn't care about the U.S. that much. Yeah. People think, like, oh, weren't you happy? I'm like, I used to watch MTV and Dr. Phil. I got enough.

Yeah, you get the point of it. I won't go to America. I'll be like, there's more to us, but I'm like, I don't know if there is. No. I'm like, there's so many pedophiles in America, man. Stop touching kids. Yeah, it's just all you go. Dude, I've been watching, go, what's it called?

So I'll take back what I've said about Vice. I used to say that Vice used to be the coolest news organization. And then lately, they've kind of been just like, this comedian's, special, but like too much of that stuff. But I realize there's a big corner YouTube where they still have really cool stuff on there. And they

interviewed like the pedophile hunter guys. Like the guys who like go around and they're like blade but for pedophiles. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But they just shame them and occasionally get in fights. It's a very weird Why would you fight a pedophile? So not cool. They're weak

people. Yeah, I guess you never really see like a yoked in shape pedophile. Yeah. No, because why would you waste your time? Yeah, yeah, exactly. Mother Nature's already made you stronger than your prey. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's, that's over. Lines don't work out. Why would pedophiles? Yeah, that's a good point. Yeah, but that was, that thing was kind of like, it's a weird mix because you're like, it is, it's, the, the police stations were like, we don't like these guys because they're kind of like a little bit what they're doing is now pedophiles are scared to talk to kids online, which is good, but it's bad because

we're having trouble catching the pedophiles because now they think it's a setup. Isn't that good? Doesn't that mean that the pedophiles aren't going to pedophile as hard? Not necessarily. So the hard part is this. So it's like, these guys, they catch the pedophiles, which is good, but they just shame them and post videos them online.

So they're not really getting them the way they're doing the wrong part of the Chris Hanson thing. Because my whole thing with the catch a predator is they should be throwing them in jail. The videotaping them is only to benefit Chris Hanson. Yeah. There's no... There's no... For the views. Exactly, yeah. So these guys are kind of of like, they think they're catching extra pedophiles,

but really the pedophile, I mean, it is a noble thing to do. But the police, local police stations are like, yeah, we, these pedophiles are skittish now and we can't catch a lot of them. These guys just record them and then don't get them in any legal trouble. But they just, now the guy's just on the internet as a pedophile, which is good in the sense that, like, people can see him or whatever. But then they still have to blur their faces, so they're like, if you see a guy in a green shirt, he's a pedophile.

So it's kind of. So kids, if you're out there what Michael is trying to say, put yourself out there more, all right? Yeah, yeah, that's exactly what up. Let these pedophiles feel like comfortable. Yeah, yeah, yeah. If you're a pedophile, it's exactly what it was right.

If you're a pedophile, good for you. Well, that was a strange. That's all I'm clipping. You can delete the rest of the podcast. It's just so sobam-goat. If you're a pedophile, good for you. You can get away with a lot when you have beautiful eyes.

Yeah, thank you so much. No, no, thank you. Honestly, I'm happy to be in your presence. So these pedophiles are based, these pedophiles are basically, they're really like Batman, whereas, like, I'm glad that you who whoop the shit out of them,

but we don't have evidence. we didn't go through. Yeah, yeah, exactly. Yeah, we need some stories. Which is why the Joker's back on the street every goddamn time. Yes, yes, yes. Because we didn't build a case.

Yeah, that's a good point. Yeah, you gotta got a problem. And it is funny how they catch them, though, because what they'll do is like, I'll relate this in a sense. When I was 14, I used to sex with this, like, 40-year-old woman in Indonesia. It all relates.

Give me a second. Every, every one of my thing starts over here, and I'll eventually tie it together. Okay, so you say. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And I would tell her, I'd be like, okay, hold, like, like, two or three fingers up so I know you're like legitimate.

And she would. So I was like, okay. Sorry, was she Indonesian or did she just live in Indonesia? She was Indonesian. Okay. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, but, uh, so I was a kid just like sexting with this grown woman. You knew what you were doing.

I knew what I was, yeah. No part of me was like. How old were you again? I was like 14. 14. Yeah, you know what you're doing. Yeah. Did she know that you were 14?

I don't think I ever said it, but my profile. I mean, I was like, I was like, I was 20 years old. I was 14. Yeah, yeah. But what would happen was, I'm still friends I'm still friends of Facebook I believe

I think she has a whole family Good for her Yeah good for her Good for that pedophile Wait a way to figure She got a fucking homegrown Yeah I don't go to the grocery store

To get to my tomatoes I grow up That's a great point I didn't realize that I was probably But it was a weird stare Because I guess she didn't know How old I was

But either way These pedophile hunters What they'll do Is they'll the pedophiles Will be like They'll do the same move Or they'll be like Hey hold three fingers up

So I know you're a real kid And the pedophiles hunters have these face aging apps. So it's these grown men that make themselves look like five-year-olds through like CGI, basically, and then get the pedophiles that way. They're like, we won't ever post nudes. But like, that's not cool.

Because pedophiles ask for nudes, which, that, you, what are the laws on that? That's a weird law. Like, a pedophile hunter posing naked and then making his face look young. They pose naked? No, no, no. But I'm saying the pedophiles are asked for nudes. So then they got to, like, wax their balls and, like, put ice on this.

Yeah. It's like these are the balls of it. Let me ask. So they do CGI for the entire body? No, no, just their face. Oh, okay. Oh, look at me. I'm Derek.

I like, you know. Derek is a very old name. Yeah. Yeah, I guess. If you're a kid named Derek, that's a set up. You're a dude. That's a sting operation name. My name's Harold.

There's no heralds anymore. Yeah. But back to Syria, because I am more curious about that. That's a baby with huge balls one time. I had to get that off my chest. I just had to get it before I go back to Syria How did you see that? I did.

I was in Whistler. I was in Indonesia. It all connects. No, I was in Canada at like this resort thing for like a work event and I was in the hot tub drinking a whole bunch of, what do they call them? Coffee martinis.

This keeps getting worse. Yeah, I was drunk. I'm like, I don't know this defense. I was like, you know what I? Hey, I know exactly what I'm talking. Give me a second. My girlfriend loves them espresso martinis. Espresso martini.

Yes, bitches love espresso martini. They did. I was really hammered off espresso martinis. I was hanging out with my home girl. And then this one sales guy comes in and he's like, yo, I just had a kid. Well, I'm at this work retreat. So my wife had the kid, but I wanted to go on vacation. He was like, yeah, my kid has huge balls.

And we're all right, good for you. He's like, no, these balls are huge. You got to see him. We don't want to see your kid's ball. Yeah, that's wild. And he was like, no, the doctor said they'd never seen balls this big. What? You got to see these balls on this kid.

So I'm over here thinking they're just going to be like big balls for a child. These balls were enormous. They were like, on the baby, like the balls started where balls start by. I swear to God, they went to like the knee. They were just like enormous, overly swollen. He has to get a diaper. They might shrink because that's my brother when he was born. Everybody in Syria has huge balls.

Yeah. Well, he was, well, he's half Syrian, have Palestinian, sorry to bring it up. Oh, son of a bitch. Give me $14. I know you couldn't. No, that's the. my brother's, I didn't talk about it. No, I didn't, he's half and half.

But when he was born, because I, you know, I had to leave for the duration of the, the, the child birth. And then when I came, he was on the table. I remember, like, I remember, like, looking at his fucking, like, ball. I'm like, I was jealous. I was 17. I was like, why is he? How big is he guys? Do you guys have the same dad?

No, different dads. That's what I'm saying. Different dads. His mom has enormous balls. Yeah. My mom was nuts. But, yeah, apparently it's a thing, where sometimes kids are just born with like very large balls and like over like a couple days. That's weird there to be taking a picture of your kid's balls.

I got to show the people at work this because it's like... I mean, that's a guy thing. Yeah. It's also a sales thing. There's so many... I had a teacher though who would talk about. She's like, my son has a huge penis. It's really weird.

What? Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's weird. Huge balls is less weird. Agreed, agreed, agreed. You can't be talking about your son's huge dick. How old was the kid? And how old were you?

Toddler or something like that? And how old were you that she was talking to you? I was a high school student. She's like, yeah, my son, huge penis. I'm like, I don't know. It's an English class. Like, I don't know how... She was like, I wish my husband was like my son.

You had to get another woman with a huge dick passing on to her kids. Sorry, back to Syria. Yeah, back to Syria. What do you guys want to come back to Sierra for? Because it's interesting. By way, this is my relation to the Syrian war. This is how little I know about.

When I was in college, I was hooking up with a girl in my freshman year. And she was like, you got to come to this protest for Syria with me. And I was like, hungover and trying to keep banging this girl. So I was like, absolutely. What year was that? 2013, maybe? I wanted to call it 2015.

So it was... Oh, yeah. Maybe it was going on for three years. No, no, no. It's still going... You're right. It's still going... Yeah.

You're still going to... Yeah. It's actually pretty bloody year that year. So you go. Yes. But I was... I went with her for like three seconds to hold the sign.

And then I looked at it and I realized like, I don't know what this war is. So I'm going to leave. So I did like the most... The worst thing possible because I was like, I was like, let me hold the sign. And I was looking around. I'm like, I'm holding a sign for something that I know nothing about, and I'm only trying to have sex to this girl.

So I'm going to, and I just left. And that is my only connection at all to the Syrian war. Well, thank you. You're connected a lot, actually. You actually mean a lot to us. Yeah, you went out there and did something. Yeah. What's the question about it?

So, like, you, so from your point of view, what's going on? Because it's like, you, I'm saying you, not like politically, but I'm saying you left when it, like, broke out, right? At the time, there was something called the Arab Spring. The Arab Spring is, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, series of uprisings in the Middle East that was pretty much held

by millennials so people are our age right now when we were younger that to dethrone the governments sorry for the little bit to dethrone the governments from you know the oppressive leaders

the start of in Tunisia went to Egypt and then Syria it happened in Indonesia no in Tunisia in Tunisia yeah I was very confused in Tunisia step down you pedophiles

no Tunisia Tunisia And then ironically, Tunisia was like the guy stepped down within like a few days. And then Egypt, when I came to America, I had my roommate, Ahmed, was Egyptian, actually. And so we used to watch, we used to get high and watch, like, the protests. You know, and then they did throw on Husdie Mubarak. You know, Obama was very heavily involved. They used to set up enemies.

And then the Syrian thing started in 2011. Wait, sorry. I have to go back. Yeah. Where are the lines, or how are the lines, on like during the Arab Spring. Like here, the lines are pretty much racial. Sometimes they're gender-based.

Like, what were the lines? Corruption. The entire population is oppressed. The leader has all the money. Nobody has any money. That's the whole entire. That's the very basic principle, that these guys are dictators.

There's no terms. They've been in power for 30, 40, 50, 50, 60 years. Their kids run everything. Their friends run everything. So, you know. And the Arab Spring was, pretty much a social media war because people were... That's what I was asking about, because I was so curious, I was like,

what did social media play in this? Because I was like, now wars have changed. Like, you see videos of the Ukrainian war and you're like... Well, that's pretty much inspired because of Syria, because there was no... In Egypt, there was foreign media in Egypt. They can go in and capture things. That's how they, like... That's how... That's how... That's how...

But that's how... That's how... I love when you used to say something fucked up and funny, you're like, all right, well, it is funny still. That's how some of the, like, the foreign like press, like the ladies

were like allegedly harassed because they would like land in a protest in front of among like 50,000

Egyptian men you know who are protesting for their freedom and she's like a ha blonde so any comments about the

Egyptian she's like come here and so yeah and I think they beat up Anderson Cooper too in Egypt

but he's he deserves it he's he doesn't don't take a camera in anybody's face when they're trying to like

get freedom just leave them alone anyway so Syria actually had no foreign press and so the whole camera idea the whole entire war became a social media war starting with Egypt and stuff but

in Syria all you see is clips even the news play camera clips because it was only people that were in and people were in there and people in Syria be like just like filming and stuff like this is the dynamic the same there in the sense that like the hottest girl has the most followers so she is bringing the most attention to the war no no anybody

it didn't matter you know at the time you know at the time it didn't matter I guess it's the most interesting. The footage. Are you also there? Because now the war kind of has stopped. Now it's like the U.S. Army is in Syria. The Russian armies in Syria.

Allegedly ISIS is Syria. Allegedly the U.S. is fighting ISIS in the northern part of Syria, which is all where the gold is. And, you know, and... Is it where the gold is or is it where the gold is? The gold was. Okay. So no. Yeah.

Yeah. It's confusing use of air quotes. Yeah. Well, I'm just trying to say I don't get deported. Deported? What is deportation, really? Yeah, yeah, I love America. Guess never understand that the listeners can hear the air quotes.

So that always happens. People are like, what is that? I thought this was, all right. Yeah. What the fuck is the camera on us? Yeah, it was just for clips. All right. So if you clip this air, yeah, yeah, yeah.

If you clip it, clip it. But like, yeah, so I mean, yeah, so the Civil War started and it didn't officially really end the end right now, but everything was kind of going. So pretty much the leader stayed in power. And where were you during Air Spring? Like in Syria or you're in BATRA. Every spring, I was in Tunisia and Egypt. I was in the Middle East and I came here to study.

And a year after, I came in 2010. So in 2011, February or March of 2011, the Syrian Civil War started. And I was here and my college was like, you can't go back. You can go back to the UAE and see your parents one more time because your visa. I had a visit visa. So, like, you can go. You can see your brother's big balls one more time. One more time.

And your mom's huge. They drank them in. You can go back. So I did. I did. I went back. I remember it was, you know, summer of 2012.

I remember I had to be back in the U.S. before July 21st, if I'm not mistaken. And I flew back on July 19th. And they were like, even with the officers, the immigration officers ask you where, why is your thing expiring? Tell them, don't worry and show them how your papers say that you can stay in the country to study. Yeah.

And tell them, oh, that's what I'm doing right now. Because they never, would they send you back? No, they won't send me back. But, I mean, if I. I had something called the I-20. I-20 is what you get with the student visa. A student visa allows you to go in and out of the country. I-20 shows that you're still studying.

Because you can have a student visa for five years, but let's say you graduate within two years. You can't come back in as a student. Right. So the I-20 verified. So I had the opposite problem. I had the visa expiring in 2012, but the I-20 up to 2015,

so come back to the country, finish your school. That's what my college told me, Michigan State. And they were like, and we'll figure it out when you graduate, which meant I will figure it out. They didn't figure out of shit with me. We're here with you.

And then I graduated. All right, see ya. Good luck. Good luck on the war, man. Where do you want to donate to the school? And that's, they always call me and I'm like, so, you know, you're one of our Illuminize. I'm like, yeah, I'm a Syrian refugee right now, so I don't know how good you guys are going to do in the future,

but you think you have hope now. Wait until you buy me a country, lady. Like, all right, all right. And they close the phone. But yeah, so then I became an asylum seeker or slash refugee, as I mentioned in my bits and stuff, in 2015. 2016, sorry, because 2015, 2016, I had a work permit that was valid for a year, but could have been renewed for two more years if I met an employer that met certain specifications, and I couldn't. And so I applied for asylum then, which is why my shit is late. Allegedly, I took too long to apply, so.

That would be me. I haven't been filed taxes. Aren't we supposed to get started on that soon? Yeah, yeah, we do. Jesus Christ, I hope not. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I would be the last guy. Before April.

I think you would fuck me hard for it or not. It's either April 15th or April 14th, because tax day is like on my birthday or the day after some shit. So it's one of those days. Yeah. And what was your first impression when you first came to you at? Like you get in Michigan State, so it was big party school, right? Yeah, yeah. No, I remember.

I want to hear about the parties is what Michael was asking. Yeah, I tell you, I came here and I already had a bunch of friends. We all came from Michigan State, Dubai, right? So I came with like a group of 15. Syria is Muslim country, right? Majority in Muslim, but it's a secular country. Syrians are not like what you hear, like, you know, the most strict country is Saudi Arabia.

Yeah. The Gulf region, all that's the Gulf region. That's all the camel shit. That's where they, we on the more of the Mediterranean, we are known to be like, first of all, that's where Jesus came from. And so we have Christianity, we have Judaism and all that stuff. So, yeah, so the Syrians,

usually there's liquor stores. you can go by, you can drink whatever it is. Yeah, yeah. It's like America. It's conservative Muslims and there is like secular. There's atheists. There's Christians. There's a little bit of Jews.

Too many for your taste. It sounds like. Yeah. Yeah. I think a little bit of Jews is a lot. All right? It's like cayenne pepper boy. You just need a little bit.

Yeah. It's like, yeah. What's it called? Saffron. It's expensive. You just need a little bit to add flavor. That's cool. She's a good thing, actually.

No, so yeah, no, so, yeah, I was around, like, I've seen some drinking, but, you know, I never, like... Can you drink in Dubai? Yeah, you can actually drink. I've heard it's weird there, though, right? Not in public. You can drink and you can get hookers and shit, but you got to be inside of hotels and stuff. And there is bars. You can go to...

You can bring the biggest DJs. You can't ban hookers in the streets here, either. I mean, I mean, you can bring, like, they used to bring the biggest DJs there. And, like, it'd be like DJ Teistone, all these guys, like massive raves and stuff. And, yeah, you can do whatever you want. You can do drugs there. That's the fucked up. You can drink.

It is funny, though, because I always forget that we can't do drugs here. I'm always like, oh, I heard they're really strict about drugs over there. I was like, wait, you get thrown in jail here for a lot of drugs. That's a, that's a Britney Griner thing. I'm like, well, I don't know. I'm not, I wasn't really empathetic. Yeah, you brought a we pen to Russia and you're serving time. It doesn't matter.

Just don't bring anything with you. Don't even bring fucking cigarettes with you. Buy your cigarettes from the duty free and just take them with you with the receipts. I've also decided I'm just not going to dangerous places. Like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm not going to China. You can go. You can fly anywhere you want and have fun. Just Americans always want to take their drugs with them, you know?

Like, just don't take your shroom. Don't just go have fun. You can probably drink there. Just go have some drinks. And if somebody offers you something, I said, a situation. I'm not supposed to have fun without drugs, Osama? How about you answer me that? Talk to the people.

Have a conversation with it. Yeah, and what fucking language, Osama? Oh, I speak as English. What am I supposed to do? Say hello, man. They're supposed to learn the other language. Also, also, people like, People like Americans when they see them.

They go to drogas? People actually like Americans. Every time I met an American overseas, they've always been, like, fun to talk to. Yeah. In fact, but we always used to meet the lamest Americans, the ones like their parents are diplomats and shit, you know? Oh, yeah.

Hey, man, you American, bro. Well, fucking, obviously, no Americans are vacation in fucking Syria. No, they are, yeah. Syria is a beautiful, this beautiful place. Okay, Damascus, on the record, Damascus is the oldest, is the first capital. in the world. Oh, that's some shit.

Damascus in the Bible, right? Damascus is in the Bible. When you do your... Yeah. So when you go to Damascus, it's a beautiful... I mean, not now, but it was a beautiful...

It was a beautiful country. You can go... It's very safe. It's very, very safe. You know, that's the biggest thing in the Middle East, too, is that people don't fucking know this, but it is safe to walk around

at night. It's safe. Nobody's going to fucking harm you. Very few robberies. If the same amount of things happening in New York happening in Syria, people would, like,

fucking rise up. I'm like, what the fuck are those people? Why is he jerking off? You know, like, they will... Respect. Why is your cock out there, man? People will stand up for... Yeah, no, it was very safe.

It was very fun. It's so historical. You can go to nightclubs. You can go to, like, you know, classic restaurants. Have a... Food is one of the best in the world is Syria food. And that cuisine area, that Levante cuisine is really good. Yeah, really, really nice, really nice places.

They were really, really good. Like, so... Yeah. So Americans... Any American that lived in Syria, been to Syria has always been the highest of their lives. Anybody in the 70s and 80s and 90s that went to Syria, you can ask them, how was like, oh, it's the most beautiful. Oh, yeah. It's the most beautiful thing I've ever went to.

It's really gorgeous. It's like going to Colombia. Really? By the way, I picture, I'm the problem. I picture a country and I see, like, three images. Like, I see Syria. I see sand. I see, and this is, I've no idea what it's like.

I've never seen a picture of Syria. And I just, I don't care that much. Yeah. You are correct. You are correct. It's kind of like with Mexico. I don't Google. I just like imagine like El Chapo everywhere.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's just indifferent. Like a baby El Chapo like in a stroller. With his mom, El Chapo. His husband is a chippa. El Chapito, you know, all that stuff. Wait, so it's like lush, you're saying, with like greenery? So desert is the world, the Iraqi side.

There is desert. There's actually Syrian bedwinds and they're actually really interesting people because they live in the desert and stuff. And they come to the city to do business. Like a dune? Yeah, they live, yeah. Do anybody build sand? sand castles in the desert? Like, is there so much...

Like, that is the dumbest thing I mean to ask. So, the beaches of... You fucking... No, you can't. No, you need the water. Yeah, you need the water. That's a good point. You've built sandcastles.

It's always on the wet sand. I guess you're not wasting water in Syria or like a... But no, but the desert in Syria is it like the desert in the Saudi Arabia or the UAE. The desert in South Arabia, the UAE is very beautiful. It's like, like orangey sand. You can actually go sand surfing. I've seen videos of this. It's really gorgeous.

We used to actually stop on the side of the highway and, and, you were. the UAE and we'd go like with my uncles and stuff we actually like take our shoes off and the socks off and like let's go up the sands and go down and hang out it's so soft and sweet like it's really it's like the you know I mean you can't stay there for too long because it's hot but like

yeah that's how people go to safaris because it's you know like yeah it's it's really the Middle East is so much you guys fucked up your own vacation destination you guys could have been yeah we bombed the destination the living shit out of it and the thing is everybody who was like a terrorist there

is not an Arab. Like very few. The rest are all like Westerners or like psychopaths from different parts of Asia and Africa. And some Arabs are there and Europeans. A lot of Brits. A lot of Brits. These guys, you know, I'm Muslim. I'm like, we'll stay in you fucking go pray.

How can you spread Islam? This is always the ridiculous. It's an Islamic state trying to spread Islam in a Muslim country. I'm not, go get the fuck out of my face. Yeah. It's already here. Yeah. It was founded on the very same.

Yeah, yeah. Why are you spreading Islam? Yeah, you Muslims believe in the wrong. Get the fuck out of here, man. Don't tell me, you know, so... Because the notion was that Syrians were fighting each other. And I'm like, maybe the army is fighting the people, but Syrians don't kill each other like this.

We don't do that. It's the same reason why Mormons go on there. It doesn't matter where religion you are. Syrians are more nationalistic than they are religious. Like, when I see, like, a Syrian guy, he's Jewish, Muslim, whatever. I'm happy that he's Syrian. So, oh, we bond over that. Right.

Instead of you're this sect. It doesn't matter. Yeah, yeah. It doesn't matter. Syrians just killing other Syrians in cold blood, it's not like that because our blood is more related than like Americans are. Like you guys all come from different backgrounds. I'm Irish American.

I'm African American. I'm Caribbean American. No, Syrian is a fucking Syrian. Right. That's why we have no black people in Syria. You heard? No, imagine.

We keep it. No, but that's why you don't just kill your own countrymen, you know? Because they're the same race as you? You guys are so racist that you still get it? By the fuck I was wondering about when he was talking about the Arab Spring. I was like, wait, so if y'all are like out here protesting and it's not on racial lines, then what the fuck could it possibly be about? Corruption.

It's even in Africa, like in Nigeria and stuff and other countries that have, not Nigeria, particularly, but like Rwanda, if you talk to Ethiopia or whatever, there's like militia issues. These militias are like... But a lot of that's religious base, though. Yeah, it's, sure, it's religious base. They fly the emblem of religion a lot, but it's business. It's all business. Dude, you know what this just made me realize? It's part of the reason why corruption skates so easily here

is because we're so distracted by our diversity. Yeah, oh, and 100%. Right? Because if we're protesting shit, we're not protesting corruption. Yeah, we're protesting race. Religion, not so much. And like sexuality. Man, they're like gender.

Those are the, that's the shit that we protest these days. And the government doesn't give a shit. A lot of people think there's freedom of speech here, which there is. You can talk a shit about the president on air. Yeah, yeah. Like tonight shows, we go up and like, so Donald Trump, and you see like, never Trevor Noah, who's not American, making fun of the president in his country.

This is wild. Yeah, it's a good point from an outside perspective. And then you go like, oh, man, look at this freedom of speech. And then you can see people protesting about the garrets and stuff. I'm like, yeah, but nobody's touching the real issues that really can make a change. Like, that's why when they had... Oh, I guarantee if you went on like Fowl and started talking about Blackstone versus like some financial company like that,

people would start to be like, yeah, we can't... You can't talk McDonald's because there's sponsorships and stuff. Like January 6th was an example. example. Like the coup that was a coup. You know what the coup is, right? When you take over a government, you take a coup. A coup is a life with that situation. If you want to take over out of the government, you got to go and expect not to come out. Either you seize power and you declare a new government, which is what these idiots thought they were doing, but they start taking selfies and shit. You got to take over the house. I was watching, come on, I have better point. I have, I can give you a better example. You're doing it wrong, man. Come on, take over properly. You know, but they, you know, but nobody does that. That's why, remember, like, when Trump went and took that picture in front of the church and they had the Bible.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. And then they went to protest in front of the president and they kind of closed and they shot them with, like, live rounds, like rubber bullets and, like, they shot them with, like, a gas tear gas. Like, can you believe that the government, I'm like, yes, I can. Of course, you're coming close to the, are you crazy? Yeah. They're trying to approach the president. They're going to shoot you in the face. Yeah, it's crazy the president used to like answer the door back in the day.

That was the thing where people he'd knock on the White House and like the president would, I mean, I guess. Maybe, I mean, maybe like not like the 80s, but like the 18, whatever. 80s. Yeah, of course, because his house was just. Lincoln kind of was like, then people were like, oh, you could shoot that guy? Like, I think people were kind of like. Actually, I don't even know if he was the person gets sats. It'd be funny.

And the guy was like, I'm going to shoot that guy then. Yeah. Jackson came before Lincoln, right? Yeah, he had an attempt, though. And then he, like, found. Actually, I should know. Andrew Jackson, I think, came before Lincoln. Either way, he had multiple attempts on his life.

And there was one time where someone tried to assassinate him. The gun misfired, I think twice. And he beat the guy to death, right? And then he beat the shit out of him. And I don't know if he beat him to death, but I know the secret service pulled Andrew Jackson, the president, who almost got assassinated, off of his would be assassinator. Yeah, yeah, yeah, that's crazy. Mr. President, that's not cool, man.

Stop. That was gangst of those. Yeah, he whooped his ass so bad. He was like, all right, it's not a good look that the president kills someone. So, like, you gotta come up to. That's good. At least these guys used to be in shape.

How old was that guy at the time when he was running? I don't know. 50s, you think? I imagine he was like in his 50s, but he was also. That's a good age, man. He was in something like, I don't know, 50 duels. Like an amazing amount of duels. I mean, not to sound Republican, but that's what men used to be men.

Fucking preach. You know, I'm serious. I mean, all these guys, like, all these, like, Biden and Trump, all these are actually a solid. Soft men. They're soft. Oh, dude, my buddy, I don't know if this is the original thought. He may have heard this on a podcast.

My buddy says, in Trump's ideal world, he would be gossiping with the local moms in the Upper West Side at like a brunch. Like, that's where he'd want to be. And he may have, I don't want to, if I'm, if he took this from another podcast or but he's like, Trump just being like, oh my God, did you see her hair? It was disgusting. That fat slut. Like, that's like the world that he would be in if he was not in politics.

And that's why he did. Like he was. There's no way he doesn't want to just sip like. Oh, man. Bellini is and just talk shit with... It's true. Our last... Let's see.

So we had... It was Clinton, Bush, Barack Trump, right? Yeah, yeah. Of those four... Who served in the military? Huh? From these guys. Who served?

H.W. did. I think that was the last one probably to say. What, George Bush, the one that I know? His father. The one before from like the 80s. So now these motherfuckers served. None of them served. See, these guys are just like desk politicians.

Yeah. Which is cool. He's the thing. No, that's why guys like fucking the Chinese dude, J.Ping and whatever his name is. And then like the fucking and then Putin and stuff. Putin was in the KGB. Yeah. People talk shit about Putin, but it's like, yo, this motherfucker has medals.

Well, that's true. He does have medals. But like America's already going to rock your shit if we decide to. And that's with a desk politician at the helm. To get to respect. And also even have the acumen. The thing is, it's like, the hard part is. I don't think we have a lot of defendable wars.

Somebody's like, I fought in this world. We're like, yeah, we didn't want to be in that war. So now that you fought in it, it doesn't necessarily give you credibility. But it could be the other way. I think you could have an Iraq war veteran because a lot of them are anti-Iraq war now. Like, there's a video of some guy yelling at, um... Of course, because I have a lot of friends of veterans and Iraq War veterans. And they're like, fuck that.

Well, I mean, they were lied to. They went there and he goes, I had a friend. He cried. I mean, we were doing coke. But he cried. He apologized to me. We were doing actually in Molly. That's why he apologized.

And so he goes, he goes, I'm so sorry. I landed there thinking I'm going to fight like the bad guys. And I found myself in this lady's house and she was screaming. And I was like, miss, please, I'm so sorry. But we got a post here. And you know, you know, Arabs are. And, uh, see me. No, I probably knew what she was saying.

Even to you, it sounds like that. You're like, what is this mumbo chumbo? Come on, miss. Yeah, and he was like, he's like, I'm so sorry. And then any noise at night, we got to shoot at it. He's like, I probably killed. He's like, I probably, he's like, he has 14 confirmed kills and quite a few more that he can't confirm because it was late at night. So he just hears a noise.

With the heat sensors, they can figure who the person is, take them out, but they can't retrieve the body. So it's not counted or whatever. And so he's like, I shot kids. He's like, I shot kids because we think they have a bomb. And maybe they do. But maybe they don't. Maybe the guy is just playing with a soccer ball. How do you know?

And it's funny because I don't like that, but I understand. I understand. Because if you don't shoot, okay, what if he does have a fucking mom? Now you, now you and your friends are gone. Now you're dead because it's a war. Shoot to be shot. Did you hear about the transcripts? They released transcripts of the Ukrainian, the Russian fighters to their moms.

They called their moms during the war first weeks and they got transcripts and they hit the names of the actual soldiers. And it's like, and it's like they were lied to. They went to the Ukraine. Like, oh, it's easy. We won't even cease. We're not going to fire any bullets. We're just going to go there, take the city over.

It's easy. And then the kids are calling their moms, and they were like, I'm killing people. I am killing people. I think I killed this many men. And then his mom is like, but something, something he goes like, yeah, but I got to shoot. Yeah. I'm not a bad guy. I got to shoot.

I got to live. Now he's just, now he's shooting for him. He's not even shooting for Russia. He's shooting for himself. It's kind of like the Vietnam. You know, you go there. Like, now I'm just fighting for me. me and my friends. I really got to survive.

Yeah, yeah. And that's, that is the craziest thing of it all, I feel like, where it's like good people do bad things under delusion. And it's like if you're taught this horrible thing, it's like, you don't understand what's going on around you. That's why, like, I don't know, I think the ability to question authority

should be something, I get why it's not implemented, but like that's such an important skill to have. Yeah, yeah. It's like, kid, that should be instilled in kids. I understand why they don't want to teach it, but it's like, you should constantly be asking questions. That's the number one thing. I always say, like, it's It's like America is free, but only the freedom they want to give you. He can be the biggest, he can choose your gender.

You can choose whatever, but you can't fucking, you can't do anything beyond. He can choose whatever you want. I don't know if this happened to you. It was such a trip because, like, we're so indoctrinated growing up unless our parents, like, really go counter hard on it. That, like, America is the freest place. It's the land of liberty, all that kind of stuff. then when you find out that there's like other countries that one are like ahead of us in like whatever education economic education and then you find out that there are other countries like most of them

most countries in the world are just as free as we are in most regards you're like huh yeah i don't know about that though i think it depends what you so i think as far as corruption we are equally as as corrupt as anywhere else so like we will shit on like third world country because we're like look at them their government it's like why we're bombing the shit of people but i do think there are countries where you can't mock like a lot of countries where you can't mock the press. Yeah but is that the biggest thing that you want to mock like in Syria that's the biggest thing right now at the

time was that you can't talk about the government I used to set up like traps like they have like the guy who cleans your shoes and any kiosces like you have in New York there's all a kiosas like this is Syria with like chips and drinks and ice cream and you can buy from the The bodega cat has an eye in it but like a little like microphone attached to it you're like oh

look at this cat yeah yeah what you think of all the guy and they ask you questions and that guy would be like an informant. But aside from that part, aside from that part of life, like everything else is fine. You can fall in love. You can do this. The only corruption part is that sometimes you can't open your own businesses and succeed. But also in America, there's hindrances from that part too. I agree. My whole thing is I do think freedom speech is informed. But he was funny. After the war,

I was talking to somebody who went to Syria and I was like, what's the biggest difference aside from all the destruction? He's like, people can talk shit now about the government. Oh, in Syria? Like the government now, to a degree, yes. So the government is like, I mean, we won the war, but we destroyed the country. So let them talk a little bit of shit. Honestly, in a lot of ways, I feel like talking shit somewhat protects the government

because then you can just get it off your chest. Like it doesn't build and build and build up until the point you feel like you actually have to do something because anytime you're annoyed, frustrated, pissed, you can vent it. You can go to the bar. That's really interesting. You can bullshit.

You can put it online. You can do it on the show. I'm like, that's what I'm saying. And a lot of times that's all we want is people is to be heard and feel like we're, understood and acknowledged. And that's cool. Yeah.

Yeah. So I think it helps the government out. Like even now that they're doing New York, they're doing the hate, the hate parade. You ever heard? Oh, a hate parade? There's a hate parade. Oh, I want to know. And it's primarily about like anti, uh, it's primarily it's going to be an anti-semitic

parade slash like, you know, the whole like, you know, them attacking LGBT's too, like, you know, not attacking physically. So you had to clear your schedule for this, right? I mean, I mean, I'm the one heading it. So, I mean, I'm the one heading it. So, you know, to be able to. No. but they actually

because you got to submit a tape you got to submit to the it's like it's a comedy festival you gotta go to your local priest and submit permission to do that on the street right otherwise anything for anything so they submitted like a hate rally

wait is are they calling it a hate rally man I can show the article I put up after the past the people that submitted the rally are calling it a hate rally yeah yeah yeah they're not even like under any delusion

that it's like a freedom of speech rally they're neo-nazis they're neo-nazis and they're doing this is what on news and so everybody is scared including the Jews in New York

understandably including the gays in New York understandably everybody is scared and then the government and then the police

comes out and says he's like well you know based on what they submitted it's Obama the police

but based on what they submitted it seems like there's not going to be no violence but we're going to keep close eye on particular like areas

if anything happens but they submitted to do the rally and the submission was legal enough and they had say yes, but that's the kind of freedom that's not good. If anywhere else...

Oh, I disagree completely. I think it's a terrible message, but I think you should absolutely have the right to... No, you should be like, no, you want to do a hate rally? Go fuck your mother, all right? And let's say, that should be the end of that. I disagree so strong. You should stop dumb people from doing dumb shit. Sometimes... I disagree. You could definitely...

No, no, no. I understand what you mean. I understand. I think also, also the problem is that, and this is not like to go up on you, but like, a lot of times particularly white Americans are all about, yeah, you can do whatever you want to do. But it's not like, you know, we have a saying over every police station in Syria. The law does not protect the fool.

You can't be an idiot, and then just because I can do it. Why can't I? No, because you can't do a hate rally because the obvious is going to rile up the people. Why do the hate rally just cancel the whole thing? I think you've got to speak whatever you want to say. But some people just you can't get the biggest ingranness of stages just because you can. You got to have limits.

I believe so. But I get it. I've heard this a lot. It's like, oh, yeah, you should be, it's constitutional. It's essential to the country that we say, whatever we want to say. And sometimes I feel like, no, dude, don't say it. Don't let them say it. See, I just, my personal views on this are that I, this has gotten so serious.

But I think that it's like. It's been serious for like an hour. Yeah, yeah. But I think that there is stopping people from saying dumb things never correct. I've heard the most racist things in the most quiet settings What does it say? It says, Neo-Nazi...

It's called Day of Hate, actually. Day of Hate. Oh, yeah, yeah. They literally, they're calling it Day of Hate. Yeah, it's called Day of Hate. Wow, okay, that's crazy. My whole thing is, I've heard people say, I've been corrected by saying dumb things

and somebody says, that's dumb. So I think that the more we've been repressing people from saying racist things, it hasn't affected any of the... What do you want to say, man? Just say it. Don't say the N-word, man. These people behind closed doors are saying more negative things,

and now they're not speaking out in public. And when they speak out in public, they get corrected because I've said lots of racist things, and then somebody's come up to me and said, that's really dumb you said that. But I don't hate you as a person, and this is why what you're saying is incorrect. And I've changed completely the way I think about things

because of my... And I think a society that represses those people, I don't think this, like... I think the radicalization of people a lot of times because they go into Echo Chambers. I think if you could say dumb shit on Twitter, other people correct them and say, you're a fucking idiot.

And that's just my personal belief I'm with you. I mean, of course, if you say something stupid or dumb or racist, whatever, you can still have a conversation. I love conversations. But you're saying walking off the streets and having a parade. I mean, you have like something that's such a physical act like this.

Like, yeah, say whatever you want to say, but you want to have a day of hate? I'm like, bro, you know what? That's what's wild to me is it's not even... It's a neo-zzi day of hate. Like, even if it's legal to submit and it fits all the good criteria to like have a regular day of hate.

That'd be funny if they're cracking out. They're like, do you guys have floats? You need floats for it to be a house. The actual parade, just like these weird details. They go to the organizer and the precincts like, oh, so you guys have flows, no flows. All right. Do you guys have, uh, kazoos? Yeah.

But it's not even an ideology. That's what's crazy to me is like it doesn't, it almost doesn't matter what it's about. If you're billing it as a day of hate, no. Like why would we support? And hate is a kind of energy that's just like, like, why would we support that? Like, they're saying what it is. It's not even other people implying like, oh, we don't approve of your ideal, your idea. ideology, we think that your ideology is just about hate.

And they're like, no, that's not what it's about. It's about pride and it's about being happy about who you are. Like, there's not even a delusion. They're just like, this is a white pride. He was like, for the other fuck other. We're not even proud of being white. He was like, fill out the form. There's an argument to be made for white pride.

I don't think it's a good one. But there's the argument to be made where it's like, yeah, if you can be happy with who you are, I should be happy with who I am and it can be a slippery slope, whatever. But like, day of hate? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Market yourself. Like, they actually went to the police precinct

and they were like, so what's your event called? The title is Day of Hate. Oh. Yeah, let's do it. But I mean, all that thing also, whenever you have one way pushing is gonna, like the pendulum is gonna swing so hard.

Like, I've seen black people also become like, like, what is like, when white people are like so into their race? White supremacists? White supremacy. Is there something called a black supremacy? Like, the black Israelites, I guess you could say is like,

you like that's that's the other swing of the pen well like you know like i've heard the other because i'm not american so i look at it and i go like this also not accurate either like you know black people we are the best we created everything the music the rhythms the foods the dot i'm like that's not don't forget jesus yeah whatever are you forgetting jesus i i am i i am jesus i'm like it's like it's also that's not true either man it's like okay of course Africa where everybody came from I'm like so yeah so that means Arab

I mean we came from there too I mean my people could have created something But everybody did come around did they Huh? Didn't everybody come from Africa Didn't black people make the best music? I legend No no to me It's not the best music

Really Like African like from Africa I like like Because I'm Arab I'm also I also believe in bias Just say you're biased To your own stuff like I Do you like Arab food the best

Arab music the best Yeah I heard music for me The Instruments we use I can't stand Arab music It depends with you're listening too. There's some like hacky shit. You listen to a hard, but there's some really, like, Arabic love songs are some of the best songs you could ever listen to in my opinion.

Nothing puts you better in your fields than like a really the poetry is stone. That's what the Quran is so powerful because the Quran, people don't know this, but the Quran, which is the holy poem. Did you know that? It rhymes. I did not know this. The whole thing is bars from a shepherd. I did not know this at all. The shepherd was like, I can't read or write, but God came down.

Now I got bars, niggit. And everyone was like, yo, this is this ball. and the one guy in the back like, just don't say the N-word, all right? Mohammed just don't say that. And that's how the whole shit spread because everyone's like, yo, you gotta check this out, bro. I didn't know this at all.

That was his miracle. Like, so Moses, Moses... His rhyming. No, no, so... If you didn't know it, and somebody started rhyming out of the blue, you're like, what do you... That is magic.

But here's the thing. So Moses split the sea, Jesus can do a bunch of stuff like the wine. Issa and the Quran, right? His name's Isa. Issa, Isa, and Moses. Moses and Muhammad.

Yeah. Nice. And then... as if that makes up the rest of the ignorance that he has. I'm like, let the hate pride happen. He's just, my bar is so low for what I expect for him to know.

But then Muhammad, his his, his, his, his, his, uh, his, uh, miracle was that he was an illiterate man. Can't we cannot write. And then when Gabriel came down and gave him the first verses of the Quran, the verses at the time what made,

it was called the times of ignorance, the Jihili at times, the times of ignorance. People at the time worshipped stones and worship this. There was a lot of deception in sales and business and people would add milk to the water which is now skin milk. But that was like actually at the time.

All that stuff was bad. Everything was bad. You know, like there was also slavery. You know, they own slaves. Almost said we. I think you did say we. You know, the Arabic Peninsula owned all that shit. And then, I'm from Syria.

I'm not from the Saudi area because that's where all that shit came from. So he, this man who was a known shepherd in the city couldn't read or write or whatever he was very like honest came down after going to the cave for a little bit and came down with like the hottest and what people used to gravity like you know rap battles

Poets used to come to the center market and spit quote unquote their lines which is why there's a big notion in the Middle East that like a freestyle rap actually is not an African American thing it's actually an Arabic thing because it used to be done 1500 years ago

used to come It's a poetry slam And one guy will go against one guy with the lines versus. So that used to capture the people. So this guy came with one of, to this day, the best kind of lines, poetry. And God told him to challenge any poet. And all the poems. Wait, wait.

God, ghost wrote for Muhammad? Mohamed was a rap, I did not know this. He was a rat battle who didn't write his own bars, which, you know, take away more respect for that. I mean, I lose low respect for that. Because that's the whole thing. It's the message from God. So, God sent Gabriel to Muhammad with the messages. and the messages rhymed and sounded good

and you can read them. I play you after this. I play you one of the most beautiful like I saved one on my Insta. Yeah, played adfords. I don't want to let's just turn it off. Exactly. No, no, no.

Smash their tones. No, but the reader. Ah! Osama promised me bars. I'm going to sign up for the day of hate, actually. I'm going to put on some black thine. No, but like, readers of the Koran are like trained vocalists, like not trained, like they, if you're a vocalist

and you can read the, it's not easy. Like, the vocals, the, requires it so hard blah blah and so do they sing it or do they rap it it's a melody yeah you can sing it so it rhymes and it's a melody too and it's really really really really like capturing and so this man who could and this is quality so he came and they were like Muhammad like the shepherd and so all the poets who can write poets when they read what he was saying they were like who wrote this for like this is no human being can write this at the time yeah oh he had the god flow. He had the little

God flow. He was the rap god. That is insane. I knew none of this at all. I should, you know what's funny is that if I was more religious, I would be a very good ambassador for Islam. I'm very good at spreading the message. Yeah, I was very, this is, yeah. Okay, see after me. Ashadu, no, imagine, just come very much like that.

Welcome to Brother Muhammad Good. Yeah, I remember the first time I heard about that. I was like, that's pretty cool. I never knew any of anything about that. No, actually, you did not. Really? Who told you that? It was a dude whose name? I forgot.

Who's that brother? It was a homie from Michigan. I forgot his name. Social media, dude. Isn't it? There's also some part, I know so little about the Quran, but I heard there's a part of it that is not in the Bible where Jesus talks as a baby. So there's a continuation of the story, yeah, because people go like, what happened to marry. They got the leaded scenes in the Quran.

Yeah. That means directors cut. We have, we have the, we have the cut scenes, you know. We got the after the director's cut. Yeah, so Mary, when she gets Jesus back, because you got to believe in all of them. You cannot believe in Jesus. That's how many people's time is,

she doesn't believe in Jesus? I'm like, I actually know when he was born or where he was born, so I won't tell you when his birthday is. Wait, so, wait, what's this? There's a part where they say where he's... So, no, no, so when I'm saying about that, no. So let's go back. It was a silly joke.

But then, so Mary gets back Jesus into the city, and she goes like, but Jesus, not Jesus, but she's with God, how am I going to come back with a baby, and I'm a virgin, and people are going to think that I am a woman of indecency. Fair question. Fair question, Mary.

A whore. Yeah. And she goes like, well, just point to the baby. And she goes like, all right, you got it, dude. So she goes to the back and she wheels in. I like this is you got it to, like the little Olson twin in the full house. You got it, dude. So,

and she said that in English, too. I got it like, I don't know. So she gums in with baby Jesus into the city of, I don't know, I forgot. Nazareth or whatever. And she comes in, for some reason, it's a big commotion because they all know

Mary and Mary is a virgin, but she has a baby. And she goes like, oh, you are a whore or whatever. People like, oh, you know how they used to gather back. Shame her. Shame her. That was the thing for some reason. How did you busted it wide open?

And then she points to the baby. And then she points at the baby and the baby speaks. And she goes, I am a messenger of God and blah, blah. And like, I forgot to set this. like, I'm listening of God,

and people were like, hey, yo, let's go back saying potatoes. Yeah. What if they put like peanut butt?

You know how they make dogs' mouth moves when they do like, like, like the acting movies? She's like a rhetorical. She's like a bad trillo quist. Yeah.

My mom is not a slut. And you all give her a dog. Everybody you get her a dog. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. drinks a cup of water. He's all the way. One thing for sure that I don't know, I got to read more and check in it. But there is not much info about like, there's a couple here and there, but there's not much like stories about Jesus as a baby. You know, it's wild that that would be in the Quran where Muhammad is the dude.

And not in the Bible. Seems like we should have. Is that not in the Bible? No, because it's not. There's a lot that was taken out of the Bible. Like, like, yeah. The actual Bible is not real. There's more that was taken out of the Bible than from my understanding from one five-minute video I watched on YouTube.

Oh, nice. Yeah. Yeah. There's more that was taken out than is in there because a lot of people say, well, this is not, I don't know. They, yeah, they took out a lot of the. It did not fit the European narrative to control the masses. Christianity was probably one of the first religions. The first Abrahamic religion to like be used, I think, in my opinion, to control a group of people.

Yeah. Oppressed about law. Now Islam does that. Now Islam does that. Now Judaism also does that in like, I'm going to mention where. It's sold out on some. top 40 shit. You know what crazy Bible story I came across recently? You don't, so I'll tell you. I was reading this book on the history of human violence. And there's a story in the Old Testament

where someone steals like Abraham's granddaughter or some shit, steals her, kidnaps her, rapes her. And then apparently at that time, that was like par for the course. And then the family would come back and be like, hey, we raped your granddaughter. So like, she's part of our family now. And that was just, that was just how it worked. That was how it worked. That makes sense. But this time, they were like, dude, that's not cool because the guy that raped her is uncircumcised. So we're not going to play that shit. Oh, my God. In fact, we're about to rock you unless he circumcises himself right now and also everyone else in his village circumcises themselves.

If everyone that gets circumcised, then we're good. That was the problem. What is the lesson? Just get circumcised and you can rape people? This is insane. Imagine. That was the lesson. Imagine.

We're fine if you're circumcised. So then what happens is all the dudes circumcised themselves in the village. And then while they're bleeding from their dicks, Abraham and his whole posse just roll through and kill all the men. And they're like, all right, now we're taking the women and the kids. Now you guys are part of our thing. Yeah, because they couldn't fight back. Imagine the guy that didn't even hear about this story just was in the city and he was like

working. They're like, hey man, you got to get circumcised down. You got a circumcised. Why? Because Osama can't keep it in his pants, bro. She's honestly not even that bad. So the lesson that the book said was like, back then, morality was different and it wasn't about like being good or bad as we would think of it.

It was being good was being obedient. Right. To authority and the highest authority was God. And if God said that you had to snip off the tip of your dick, then that was way better than. I'll be honest with you because Moses came at the time of the pharaohs, right? For me, the pharaohs are the most interesting group of people in terms of like what they knew about God and stuff. because the whole entire idea of the pyramid is to get closer to the skies.

Everything they're built in the pyramids is like a symmetrical thing to the stars, to the moons. It's like one time in the year, every year we're like one of the pyramids, one of the kings of one of the pharaohs, like the moon, the sun hits directly on the tip of the pyramid

and it illuminates something. It is the most fascinating. When the pharaoh's culture, like when the civilization fell apart, they say that they, what I've always heard is that two thirds of the world's knowledge went missing. So we went back a lot because of them. They knew a lot. There was a rumor too

that these guys used to talk to birds that used to act as their consciousness. Like it was it was so like ahead of the time. I wish you're in the desert for too long. Your son bring its little fried in the sun. Maybe. The best part is the one third that we caught included slavery. They're like, all right, we don't know what they knew, but we knew they had slaves. So maybe keep slaves. Yeah, we're just keeping the bad parts. Yeah, maybe slaves are good. But everybody had slaves. I mean, it's such a, it's such a, it's such a clear. thing to say, but everybody had slaves. Well, I know, but the fact that the

greatest civilization on earth arguably had slaves. Well, look at America. Mm-hmm. Yeah, dude, fucking... Oh, I get that. I mean, slaves get shit done. Like, it makes sense. Well, you need to build things as fast as possible. It's not even slaves get shit done. You need to build something as fast as possible.

You don't have the manpower, but you have the power enough to get... Well, that's why we do... I think the answer is we have robots slave to do that feelings. Robot slaves seem dope, man. Yeah, I don't think anybody... I also think sometimes these slaves don't even might not even start us. It might start like a war contract. Hey man, you guys as a group of people

you guys are poor, whatever, you guys want to come we need you to help, we'll pay you this much. And then I think it's easier to get it this way done and then slowly take away their rights. It's like the people in Qatar, how they build the stadiums. They came on visas. Dude, I heard it was nuts and they would like take their shit and like be like... They would take their

pass-bos, so they would come on a work visa and they just come into work and then literally this is almost like if you think about it could be the same exact story as like the that, you know, like, it could be the same thing. Well, like, they came on a visa to work, and then they took away their path. When they got there, they took away their passports. Now, if you, blah, blah, we can put you in jail, blah, blah, and then the poor Indian guy just,

or pexan guy just like, not working. Now he's a slave. Now he's a slave. Now he's a fucking slave. Yeah, it's fucking wild. To the point where he has to work in sandals and, like, 130 degrees, weather, in any height, even if you're scared of heights, even if you're not scared of heights, nobody can go up on a skyscraper like this.

And none of them probably have construction experience So they do die because they're learning Yeah, people like that are probably built into the stadium They tell and died and like are like part of it I'm making that up But I'm assuming like there's a part of me that thinks that I don't think so I think people maybe got squashed or whatever

But I think people have fell a lot Electrooted Mushed there's a lot of people Yeah, it's like a lot of people who died People like injured yeah And like so that's also how slavery can happen Is that you can contract people And then you can just

Slowly take away right You can be quickly. You can get a group of people like, all right, yeah, you guys are ready to start working? And then once they start working, I'm like, all right, fucking close them in, grab the loved ones, and if they do anything,

we're going to kill everybody. This is easy how you can do it. I think only in America, American history, maybe, not only, but I think American history, because it's documented, too. That's the problem with Americans, like, with the whites in America,

is that there's pictures. Because we all have slaves, but there's no pictures, so we can't be bad. You guys have, like, vivid, like, oh, Oh, that picture is in HD and colorized. It's not real until you see a picture up until it's just a hypothetical person that may or may not exist.

Yeah, because you're like, I don't know who drew this. But the Europeans, like the Europeans, they went, they took slaves from Africa and they took them. Like that was a slave ship right there. That was the direct thing, you know. I think in other cultures in the past, it might have been the same thing, imprisoned from war. Or maybe they got brought in from other tribes that were poor or whatever and then just got captured. And, you know, at the time, morality was different. Because I know somebody that believed that he actually, he's an Egyptian guy,

and he believed that he believed that some people were made by God to do that kind of work. Yeah. There were passages in the Bible about slavery that are like, not. They're not like, don't do it. It's not about color. There's passages in the Bible that tell you how to take care of and sell and buy slaves. Yeah, yeah, it's crazy. Yeah.

But that's not the real Bible. Well, it doesn't matter. The point is there's passages in a holy book. So Islam's, I think Muslims and Jews have a similar belief. I think when I was like growing up, they always tell us that, you know, sorry, you can marry anybody from the four Abrahamic religion. You can marry somebody who believes in the Abrahamic scriptures, which doesn't exist anymore. You can marry a Jewish girl, a Christian girl, a Muslim girl, but they always said the Christian girls. The problem with Christianity nowadays is that Judaism and Islam believe in one God.

It's a lone God religion. Not the Trinity. And they go like. Because Mohammed's a prophet. He's not like a God. He's the prophet. He's just a regular human being. He's like speaking.

And Jesus is also a person. And Moses is also a person. And Abraham and all these other guys. And what's his name? Solomon with the stick is all just people. But they were messengers. And they say that they always told us in school, but he's like, you can marry a Christian group. But she more likely believes that the Trinity and the Trinity is, like, it makes her not Abrahamic.

So it makes it actually a non-Christian. Like it's a whole, it's a whole. Oh, the Holy Spirit and the God. I'm like, I'm like, this is. It is not, and I've met real Christians. I met Christians that were like, lone God. Like, no, I'm a Christian, but I believe in one God.

I don't, Jesus was a messenger. And that's a Christian. I've spoken to people like this. Yeah, no, I think that, like my, like, I know people like that where they don't think that Jesus necessarily even had powers. They're just saying his message is what makes me like Jesus. Like, like, the message he was sending about love,

it's like, that's what I like about him. I don't necessarily even think he walked on water. I just think that his, I'm a Christian because I believe in the message of Jesus Christ not because I believe in the superpowers or anything like that. And turning water into wine, I think like just white girls love that story. Oh, yeah.

Oh, man, sure to die. I'm like, all right, bitch, it's not religion, man. What are you doing? Oh, man. Put in my butt. Like, what are you saying? I do feel bad. We do have to wrap it up somewhat soon.

Oh, we do? How soon are we talking? Not like, I mean, like sometime in the next. Okay, this became very, it's probably one of your best podcast. Dude, I was thinking that the whole time. I was like, this is, because, like, I had, I had this shit. I'm like, yeah, let me bring up Michael Keaton's Batman if we hit dead air. And I'm like, we got so far from that.

I was like, in a good way. Like, there was not a single moment in this podcast where I was like, oh, this is, I was like, no, this is intriguing. There were some times where I was like, I feel like bad because I feel like I've Ryan on as a guest and I'm just asking you questions. But yeah. I know our life is more simple. He was also asking. You know a lot of the answers I would give. No, no, no.

I am equally. I'm not. I'm not. of the Middle East and of the one true religion, which now we know. Islam. Yeah, if you didn't know. No, no.

No, no, I think I'm going to give it a shot. What's funny about Islam, too, is that, like, not funny, but, like, the thing is about ISIS and stuff like this and these groups is that they don't do Islamic stuff. Like, in Islam, like, one of the stories about Muhammad is that he went to a tribe and he, because he used to go and, like, kind of like, selling Kirby's, he would knock the door and be like, hey, yeah, like, it's like selling Kirby's or, like, like, knives.

Oh, I picture, like, a little red, he was. no Kirby Kirby is like that Hoover Oh Kirby yeah So he used to go like door to door like village to village Kind of like selling like you know like a set of knives And like hey have you guys He worked for like a marketing multi-level marketing scheme You know he used to do that

And see we get like throwing rocks at And people would like this same and stuff But then there was one tribe that told them All right listen we will do your religion For one day or one week I forgot how long And if you do hours for one day and then God sent Gabriel with another message, another verse of the Quran,

that said that you have your God and I have my God and you do you and I do me. And we always grew up under the impression, not an impression, under they believe that you don't force anybody to be Muslim, man. It is not, I can tell you. Oh, what a fucking great belief. Yeah, because you don't, like Christians,

do you go around trying to convert people. I can tell you about it. I can tell you about it. I can, you can ask me questions. You can do whatever you want to do. And then if you have interest, I'll show you more. But even if you have interest in Islam and you come to me, I am not a good Muslim like this.

So I then I got to refer you to somebody who is good who can talk to you more about it. But I'm not supposed to recruit anybody. Dude, that was so much fucking pressure. Did you grow up Christian? Yes. Was your church about like the whole it's not good enough for you to be Christian? You got to go out and convert people? No, not at all.

I had a weird thing where like I would go to the Catholic church and then my dad was a loose Christian scientist, which is a crazy form of Christianity. but he wasn't fully, he believed in like the mind ever matter stuff, Christian scientists. So the strong Christian scientists or the hard ones, they don't believe in the use of medicine. So it's, oh, those people. Yeah. Yeah. But my dad was like a loose, like he was more like I just believe in mind ever matter. He was like, I just don't think we should put a child on Adderall.

Yeah, yeah. So it's like, it's like you can, it's hard to label yourself something, but you're, I mean, everybody, you label. I don't believe. I'm actually doing that on that. Don't, don't be fair, every, every Scientologist that was crazy. Yeah. But maybe I'm wrong. I don't know.

But yeah, that part of it was wild because, like, you're a kid and you are converted, you are saved, you believe. Which sect of Christian God? Oh, we were just generic Christian Protestant. Like, we didn't really have a denomination. Loud. But yeah, yeah. Well, actually, no, there was too many white people where I live. So we were, like, kind of chill about it.

Yeah. And so every time I went to black church, I fell asleep. It was too loud. It's one of my goals to go to one. A black church? You had ever been? I watched sisters act growing up. I was like, I want to be in a black church.

Oh, dude. I'll go with you. I want to do that shit. I love. Also, if you ever find yourself in New Orleans for Jazz Fest, they have a gospel tent, that's like Sister Act. You just go in the gospel tent and it's fucking great. I want to do that.

Maybe Christianity is the wave. It was the best part every time. Like, I'd go see other stuff and then be like, hey, this is dope, but you want to go back to the gospel tent? That's the sad thing about the Muslim is that. You can go enjoy that. And the whole time, I'm like, they're so wrong, but this is nice. This is all lies. These guys are going to hell.

That's the actual Muslim. A Muslim guy just hangs around you and be like, oh, this is nice. Okay, cool. You guys are going to us nice. Okay, that's nice. Enjoy your spiritual diabetes. It is delicious.

Have fun. Have fun, man. The devil will be cutting off your feet when you go down. It's just like, oh, music in. Okay, that's nice. That's what's over. We do got to wrap up. I hate to fucking...

That's fine. That's felt like a good place to end. Yeah, yeah. What do you guys want to promote besides Islam? Besides Islam. You know, yeah, so you can follow me on Instagram. Osama the comedian. Osama the comedian. I'm going to post some shows there.

You know, just follow me there. I think that's the main thing. You know, you can find me also on Facebook, but our YouTube, just type of my name, Osama Basal. Just follow us. It would be nice. Just a couple more. Let's say, just two more. And I'll be up to 1700.

Oh, there you guys. go. Yeah. And 25 followers. Yeah. Follow me there. That's all. Yeah. Work harder. Follow me there. Follow Ryan Thomas. Ryan Thomas Comedy. Ryan Thomas Comedy. And if you're in New York,

like, follow, a lot of you don't know this. If you're in New York City, if you look on comic stories, that's where they're, that's where they'll post the shows they're doing. And both these guys are fucking hilarious. Thank you. So definitely go see them. You're really, really, I want to say this too. I, like, you know, I met you a lot more than I saw on stage. And then one time you

went up on stage and I watched you and you started off something about a joke about your aunt or something right you have a joke about your aunt oh the metaverse one yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah you just started off the bed that and I just I'm like this guy is really really really good like I was watching like this guy is fucking like entertaining to watch every time oh you're saying I would buy yeah no no no you did great oh yeah I'm saying you're good I was watching make this guy's fucking out like that's what I'm saying I'm saying I watched and I was like this guy is a really good joke rider like you're a joke writer you look for the punch lines you dig it in and And, you know, great charisma.

Because I'm a fan of comedy. I'm a student of the game. Yeah. I watch a lot of people. I like to watch people that I know. I'm like, this guy is really, you got to watch this guy. And so, like, when I watched you for the first time and I was like, oh, wow, I didn't expect that at all because I'm like so natural.

The same energy on stage is scared, the same nice laughter, the same stuff. Really good writer. Like, it's such fun to watch it, too. And this guy is. Oh, thank you. I appreciate it. It's fantastically smart. You never had the guy, like, make really good points.

while making people laugh. Really good shit. If you guys want to watch smart comedy, come see me. Don't come see me if you want. It feels like the part of the movie. If you want to watch funny comedy, stay the fuck away.

No, who said that? I do smart comedy. I think I relate to you. Whenever I'm, here's the thing, whenever I'm on a show and I see Ryan go up and he does great,

I'm like, oh, I'm going to have a good time too. Yeah, yeah. I mean, oh, they're going to get me as well. If he doesn't do well, which is very rare, I'm like, oh, I'm going to have a hard time too.

Like, it's just not going to, you know, you know, Ryan is the Osama of the Of the This feels like the part of the movie Where it's like people are like, we can't defeat the villains And this guy's given a speech He's like, Ryan, you got the brain of a genius And the heart of a lion

And Michael, and we can defeat them This is like the nicest thing ever. I've never met someone who writes like you, Michael. You can write circles around these people The whole time you can do it while being yourself. He got this. I'm fucking hyped up I'm ready to tell some jokes

Well also like you're really good at writing on stage You ride on stage, don't you? Yeah, I do. I do. I watch it's really hard to do man. I watch this guy and he rides He goes up with like a couple. I know that he goes up with a proper Because I can see you thinking

And you like Work a joke on stage I'm like this is really hard to do You don't just fucking do that like off the top Yeah, thank you Yeah, I suck at that dude Somebody somebody fucking says one comment I'm like oh I wasn't expecting interruption

I suck at it too. I should write more before and know what I'm going to say before I get up. I don't have the discipline though. Yeah, definitely follow you guys. Also, Morning Good is only on Sundays now, but also my YouTube...

I can't know what my YouTube handles. I don't know what it is. But if you're watching this on YouTube, also listen to it on Apple and Spotify because I don't post a lot of the episodes on YouTube. But every Sunday, thank you so much for listening. Appreciate it. Thank you.

Thank you, my. Peace and blessings.