Morning Good - The Hunter Biden of Winter Park - Episode 136

Episode Date: November 27, 2022

Paxton Fleming returns to the show for this extra special episode from Winter Park, Florida. He and Michael talk about suffering from Peter Pan syndrome, reverse Black Israelites, and old Florida guys that look like E.T.Happy Thanksgiving everyone! Thanks to Paxton for coming back on the show for this special holiday episode. As this show's producer and editor, he's been a part of the team since day one and it's always good to have him on, especially back in Florida. Check him out on Instagram @yaboypax and on Spotify and Apple Music under the moniker, Ya Boy Pax. As always, find Michael Good on Instagram @michael_good1125 and on Twitter @agoodmichael

Thanks for the F-Shack. Love Dirty Mike and the Boys. Hey, are you dirty Mike and the boys? How you know who we are? What's this? They called the podcast? Morning good? I love that.

Yeah, it's me with the boner on the front. Welcome to morning. Check. All right, we're here with Paxton Fleming. Yeah, your boy, Pax. The producer, we're in my dad's office right now. Yeah, yeah. This is great.

This is so funny because I said on the way in that, You're the Hunter Biden of Winter Park. Yeah. We're walking. Your dad's letting us into this nice, beautiful office. And we're like, oh, yeah, we're going to come up here and just shout about dicks and stuff like that. And we're dressed nice. Well, I'm dressed nice.

Yeah. I literally, I didn't wear a button down because I was like the fans, I feel like. You had to wear your Rolling Stones T-shirt? Yeah, yeah. Yeah, I was like, I feel like they're going to lose me. Because my thing is like, you want to chop up and put good clips down. And for some reason, if there's me in a button down, I'm like, I'm going to. Well, especially right here, we look like, we look like,

we're talking about the Chamber of Commerce or something. Yeah, yeah. And if I say something wrong, they're going to be like, why is this politician talking like a fucking idiot? Why is this white piece of shit talking about? Yeah, yeah. No, this is my only button-down shirt. I told you, I meant, like, I had two button-down shirts in my closet. We're coming, we're going to a party, an engagement party later.

And I looked at my button-down shirts. No athletic here. That's the one rule. Yeah. And I was like, I wore this one to Sean's funeral and this one to Cord's funeral. So let's get a new shirt. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Let's have some new memories on this.

Yeah, yeah, exactly. So this is a fun, this is a wedding shirt, not a few-year-old shirt. No, it looks nice. Yeah, I was trying to explain my mom because I'm borrowing my dad's button downs. I'm like, she gave me like a preppy one. I was like, are there any sexier one? I'm like, I want a sexy. Dad doesn't have any sexy.

I want to look provocative. She's supposed that like a gimp outfit. No, I don't like that. Because I'm like, there's certain button down. There's like two times of button down. Yeah, that's a good one. Yeah, this is a good one. Yeah, I'd look for a while.

I don't want to wear like a vineyard vines, pussy. No. I want to wear one that's like, the city boys. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Something we're like... Some of a guy in Miami would be like, like, trying to pull a girl in it. You know what I mean?

Like an old guy that would fuck 19 year olds. Yeah, exactly. But that's like a cool look. Where it's not an expensive shirt, but he will never not wear a button down shirt, you know? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Because it's like, it's like a class thing. But it's not preppy because this guy goes clubbing.

No, exactly. I can't be preppy. And also he's, you know, a piece of shit. Exactly. Right. Yeah, I want to look like a piece of shit in his party. It's going to be fun, man. I'm going to get drunk.

I've been drunk. This whole time I've been down. I got drunk on the airplane. It's exciting. Oh, you dragged on the airplane? Yeah, I got it. Oh, I was hungover. I forgot you flew in because my friend's balloon today. I thought you flew in today. I think you're like, yeah, I'm fucking shit-based right now. No, I haven't started drinking yet, which we should have brought beers. And you were talking about bringing beers into this. That's what I made the Hunter Biden joke because that adds to it.

Just into a conference room. Yeah, yeah. There's weird painting of like, I don't know what's going on there. Some, I don't know, it looks now. Artichokes. Yeah. Dude, the one thing I am bummed you missed was the night before Thanksgiving. I know. that's that's the that's the that's the one really yeah it's wednesday night Friday night it's

different but Wednesday night before Thanksgiving is like the one that you want to be at oh for yeah for sure and the problem was like I I it's so funny that I'm 26 now and I still I come back I did like a show news somewhere I'm like hey mom is there any chance I could borrow like $20 like I'm like I should not be doing this as an adult I'm like because I thought my card got maybe like uh it didn't work at like a gas pump yeah I was like I don't know what's going on. Well, they might be just like, because you're in Florida. Yeah, that's what I'm saying. So I was like, yeah, I borrowed $20. She gave me $20. I like run out of the bars. And I see like some kids from high school. They're like, do you have a lighter? And I was like, nah, but I got a vape.

And it was just so many how excited I was to go to the bars and like this old. It's, it's like, it doesn't go. I'm trying to let that go and be like, it doesn't matter that I'm 25 and 26. I'm going to go. I'm going to, you know, pretend I'm in high school. Like I'm going to, I'm going to really sink into like the Peter Japan syndrome. Yeah. And not, you know what I mean? I'm like

like a backwards visor. Yeah. Just go in, start hitting on girls from high school and shit like that. The funniest was

going in to the bars on Wednesday, the amount of people I called cock sucker and the amount of dudes I hit in the balls. Dude, I was just,

I probably hit like 10 dudes was up pussy. Yeah, yeah. He's still on JV? Yeah. It's like, no,

I'm in real estate now. I make a lot more money than you. That's just funny. He's all the, all the kids that actually didn't do anything creative and didn't follow their dreams,

now we're getting to the age. Now we're getting to the age where they're actually making way more money than us and it's not funny anymore. They're like, oh yeah, you're still doing. You're doing a little morning woody podcast, huh? You're doing a little... That's cute. Yeah. You're making hip hop. Yeah. Well, the best is people told me all

the other night, they're like, dude, we listen all the time. I'm like, really? Well, it doesn't reflect in the numbers. Yeah, yeah, right. Because about 300 people that I have told me they're listening. And, uh... Well, no, people are. do. People listen. You don't do the numbers like I do. I look at it every single time I upload something. You should tell me. And I triangulate and I try to find people and I'll see if they're lying.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I'll be like, hey, you said you were listening to five. You're not. You fucking little bitch. Dude, I, my favorite thing is it'll never not be funny to like, mimic gay sex with like dudes from high school. Like, I just walk up and I'm like, uh, yeah, no, that's, I don't want to let that go. I, I, I'm excited. Oh, I, this is something I'm excited about. I'm excited to get back into this energy. Me and you bond a lot about doing drugs at 14. It was like the last podcast we were on. My little brother is 14.

And it's like a fucking light switch. Like he's going into high school. Yeah, yeah. And, you know, last time I saw him, he's like, oh, you know, has the high voice and everything. Now he's like, he's got like the Puerto Rican kid look where he's got the big head, hair on top of the shaved side. The Edgar cut. He had a slit in his eyebrow. He's like, dude, you know what I mean?

Like, I don't even fucking... He's got a streetware brand, and he's already smoked weed. And I'm like, fucking let's go, baby. Florida on top. Like, he's becoming a Florida kid. He's already smoked weed. He drank for the first time.

He got really cross-faded. And he told me about it. He got a blowjob on a cruise. Oh, that dude, yes. And I'm like, that's... I'm like, psyched. Like, I finally can talk to me about it. Yeah.

Cruise kids get late. I never went on a cruise I was an adult, and every cruise kid's like, yeah, no, I had sex with, like, an 80-year-old woman. Also, you can always make it up. Yeah, yeah, that's true. But the stories I heard were insane.

They were like, yeah, no. So, like high school, it would be like, yeah, no, I banged a guy's wife with him. Yeah, yeah, swingers cruise. I never went on one when I was in high school or middle school or anything like that. Neither did I, yeah. But I feel like that, like, I'm so happy that he's getting to do the things that I didn't get to do. Yeah, yeah, yeah. A job on a cruise and things like that.

he like showed me like pictures of the girl and stuff like that. I'm like, I'm a little too old though. Yeah. I'm like, no, that's awesome. I'm glad that you did that. But don't like give me any more. Yeah, I don't need to see her Instagram. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I trust you that she's hot. That's a child. Yeah. I can't really tune and be like, nice. Yeah. Why'd fine. I also love the way that you're like, like the cruise thing, you're like, you know, I want you to have the opportunities that I'm just like a dad. I work really hard and I got you these strippers because my dad never got me strippers. Yeah.

Well, it's funny because my dad wasn't around a lot at that age. So I'm getting to see my dad be like a real dad to my little brother. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. And that's really nice. And he's turning out like so much less angry than I am. You know what I mean? Or that I was at that age. So it's nice.

Generational curses are being broken. And, you know, he's making streetwear and he hangs out with hood limbs and stuff like that. And it's just nice. It's just nice to see. You're like, I have no idea how he's doing in school. No. But I don't care. He's so stupid.

He does not, like, he is, his vocabulary is just awful. He's not, he's going to a terrible high school. It's actually really, like, an issue. Really? Yeah. Yeah. But, hey, that's not what we care. That's not what we care about.

Yeah, dude, my thing, too, is like, I'm, I'm, like, I came in and I was, like, sit. Like, I have something. Hopefully it's not COVID. I don't think it's COVID because, like, I've been sick. Oh, dude, I was sick really bad a couple weeks ago. I had the flu, and it was terrible. Maybe that's what I have, and I'm just drinking through it. Yeah.

Oh, that sucks, dude. I'm still lucky that I got sick two weeks ago because I was like... I should have tried to get six weeks. I've worked like three days in November because now I'm on vacation. Oh shit. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I've been sick the whole month and now I'm just, I'm not working. I didn't even bring my word computer.

I'm not going to do anything this whole trip. That's a good move. So you fucked up because now you just got a job and then you went on vacation and now you're going to be sick. Yeah, yeah. My thing, too, is I don't... So they're not going to believe you. What happens if you drink through being sick?

I'm not going to die, right? No, you'll, you won't like, heal because you're immune system. That's fine. If I can just, I'm cool. See, my thing is like... Will you fly out tomorrow, right? Yeah, and whatever I have I don't think it's contagious because like I got it like last week. I'm like almost like a week into having whatever this is.

Well, I'm like a superhero because I just got sick. So it's, I'm fine. Yeah, you're healthier than me. Yeah. I'm about to this whole person, I hope there aren't old people at this party because they're fucking dying. Oh, there will be. I'm gonna... You're gonna kill somebody's grandma tonight. Yeah. Yeah. It's so crazy. I don't know who had COVID at the party. That's...

Yeah. Who would go? No. I mean, it's like, I don't have any loss of smell. I, it's, it's mucus I'm coughing up. You can take a test. Don't, don't they have tests here? Yeah, you know.

Go on, that I can't go. No, I did. I did have a, what's it called? Like, it is hot in here, though, right? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay, I'm sweating right now. Yeah, yeah, yeah. This party?

I'm literally, I looked forward to this. You've been freaking out all morning. Your mom's like, you're running around. You're like, no, we have to get there. We have to do the fucking podcast. You know, talk about dead. You watch me hit my mom. Shut the fuck up

You wouldn't get it, bitch This is an engagement party, okay? This is the last first time Everybody's been together Outside of a funeral I know You wouldn't get it It's so exciting

I've never been to a wedding That wasn't my parents Oh really? Getting remarried to a stepdad Or a step mom Yeah, yeah So this is excited I'm so excited for their wedding

Yeah Whenever it will be I'll be invited Yeah, yeah That would be it No no I think this is the This is the cooler group Yeah

Like I think the wedding Is like more people Kind of stuffy Yeah yeah yeah Yeah, at least that's what I'm telling my parents because they didn't get invited to this. So I'm like, hey, look, you guys will be invited at the wedding for sure. And I'm like, they didn't get invited?

No. By all the thing, it's mostly a kid's party. They're kind of gay. Yeah, yeah. Your parents aren't going to come and do all that gay shit, right? No, yeah. Weird. What is funny?

Because one of the dudes running, is it works in weed now? What? What are you talking about? Oh, the guy. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. So it is funny to like. It's so funny. I'm so, like, I still have his business card, and it's like, head of, not distribution.

What is it? It's like head of, maybe it is distribution. And it's so funny. Trapp lord. It's like we, it's like, it's like, who would have thought when we were smoking weed and getting in trouble that eventually like he would like get promoted to head of weed distribution? Which is so, I'm so proud of him because. Yeah, I know you're saying. Well, because, you know, his family worked in real estate and it's like instead of, you start at the bottom of the weed. business. Yeah, head of distribution. Isn't that great?

That's awesome. I have a bunch of friends. Dialed it. Oh, yeah, I'm not going to say the name of the. Whatever. We'll bleep that out. Yeah. Oh, yeah. There we go. That's all. It's weird, though, because... Or maybe we won't. I'll bleep this out, but dialed in gummies, Denver, Colorado, great fucking business, great gummies. Yes. We'll ask them. It looks like they're selling pills in the back of this, though, because it's like... They're gummies that say THG exclamation mark on them.

Yeah. Yeah, there's a couple beans in there, but, but, you know, that's... That's under the table. Well, that's the weird thing about New York. It's funny. It looks like robitussin. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Well, the weird thing is like, New York's so weird now because weed's legal, but it like...

You don't have stores, right? We do have stores, but it's no regulation. So, like, they're selling... That's great, though. I wish it was like that. You say that, but it's like, I'm like, is this Indica? And the guy's like, 100%. And I look it up, it's like 40% indica.

Like, it's like, they're selling. They don't, oh, yeah. The weed looks good, though. Like, it's... I just mean the fact that it's like you always go to a smoke shop to get papers or something. And then you're like, okay, now I have to go to the weed store. And it's like, weed should just be in the gas station where they sell papers. No, I agree.

Yeah. It should be more regulated in the sense. It's like, I have no idea what they're. You should have like a weed kiosk that's like separate, but it could be in the store. Yeah. You know what I mean? Because I hate like East Coast, like, Maine, weird places like that where it's like you have to like scan your idea at the door. You said you had like a totally fine experience in Maine.

Dude, we went in to Maine, and the dude, one of the dudes didn't have an ID, and he goes, that's fine. I can't let you in the store, but you just yell from out here what you want. So I'm in the store, though, and I'm like, hey, you want blueberry cush? He's like, that sounds good. Well, like, the security card's like... He's like, obviously 10 years old. Yeah.

Somebody said that. There was a dude at the bar. The guy, like, because there's so many underage kids going out on Wednesday, the guy at the door fucked with me for a second, he goes, he's like, I'm gonna let you in with this? He's like, nah, I'm kidding. But don't bite off more you can handle. And I was like, what?

He's like, hey, a lot of these girls are underage. So just so you know, don't be fucking around. Some of these girls are 17. Yeah, yeah. No, that's so funny. It's like, I only get ID coming back here now because I go to all the bars that I went to in high school. Do you have an out-of-state license?

And I have an out-of-state now. Yeah, yeah, now I have California. Which is funny because in California, it's like, I used to be like, when we were 18, 19 going to the bars, you'd be like, how the fuck do we get kicked out? Like, I thought my ID would work. What is this bullshit?

And now, if I see a 21-year-old at the bar, I'm like, what are they doing here? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Like, who's his fucking child here? Yeah, yeah. Well, you can always tell because they dress what they think adults dress like. Yeah.

You'll have, like, a 19-year-old dressed like his dad. Right. So you'll have a 19-year-old with like a polo. And they have, like, deer eyes, like, going up to the bar where they're like, ah. Yeah. But it's like, why are you wearing a Rolex? It looks fucking ridiculous.

Like you look so insane. It's like you know it there's a soft. Like the skin is so, it sounds creepy. The skin is soft. It's so soft. It's so soft. No. It's like you look like a child wearing.

You haven't filled out yet. You can tell it's the skinniness. It's a, they haven't gotten, they haven't drank enough yet to get fat. Yes. Even when they are fat, it's like more even. They don't have a gut yet. Dude, for sure. You know what I mean?

Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's like there's a soft fatness. Yes. And like a skinny faceness that. It's amazing that alcohol goes straight to your face. It does. It makes your face, you look like an orangutan. That's just like what happens to your fucking face.

Yeah, alcohol turns you into a monkey. Yeah, yeah, yeah. In a lot of different ways. Yeah. Yeah, it's, but yeah, I saw a lot of those out there. It's weird going out of my sister now, too. Yeah. Because, you know, there's all the conversations where it's like, oh, you know, my parents,

like, how do you think she's dressed? And I'm like, I'm not getting involved in this at all. Yeah, it's so funny because you were such like a, like, you bring home girls and shit like that in high school and whatever. So it's like, now that she's older, it's like, you can't say shit. Yeah, you're on zero. Yeah, I can't say anything. You can't be like, hey, be conservative. It's like just like you when you were fucking finger banging some girl in my bed.

Yeah, yeah. 15 or whatever. Yeah. Whatever. No, yeah, you can't say anything. Yeah, so it's... I got a handy. Never mind.

I don't want to say that. Come on. I got a handy in her room when I was like 15 or something like that. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah. Because, yeah, everybody's out of town. Everyone, because everyone goes into rooms and, like, hooks up or something. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

There's like the one lame kid in the living room that doesn't, that's just kind of hang out there. Yeah. Well, a fat girl. Yeah. The amount of people that have had sex

and other people's like parents' room and stuff. Like, it's just, yeah. But there was, I missed that adventure. Like,

I remember one time I got like blown in this girl's like parents house and it's like, I'm in like a king-sized bed. Yeah. Yeah. Just like looking at a picture of like their dad fishing.

Yeah. It's just like some chick blown. Or in the laundry room. Yeah, you don't do that. You don't go with your girlfriend of seven years. You're like fiancee and go have sex in somebody else's bed.

That's just weird. It's like, why are we doing this. But as like an adult, it's like, yeah. It's like that Bert Chrysier thing. It's like you don't get first kisses anymore when you're married, but you get first drinks.

Yeah, you know what I mean? It's like you don't get that, that adventurous thing. But I did, me and my current girlfriend, where we did hook up in somebody's house as an adult, and they had cameras.

So I guess they like stall us like going into their bedroom. That's cool. That's real Florida. Was that in Tampa? No, no, I was here. Yeah.

Yeah. Well, but it's also like, it's still swing or energy. You know, Yeah, we had the camera pointing at the... It's like, no, we have the balls and ass angle. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

No, no, no, you guys can do whatever you want in there. Yeah, yeah, yeah, we're just gonna watch. No, I save this one. That was one of those nights where somebody fucks somebody on the side of the highway. Like, it was a new year's... On the side of the highway. Yeah, we're friends fucked a girl on the side of the highway. Is she okay?

No, no, no. She's fine, she's fine, she's fine. But, yeah, she's that girl who got totally sober and now is like all online. about it. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. It is like just... Oh, really? Has she been... By the way, that New Year's, she told me, I was like, hey, are you throwing a party? And she goes, yeah, I know, I've really grown up a lot since last time we talked. She's like, I, you know, pointing... And then she got fucked up on the highway. Yeah, she got fucked on the side of the highway.

It's like, yeah, I don't do that anymore. It's like, okay, we'll see it in a couple months. Yeah, yeah. That's so funny. I've gone through that phase where it's like, I was on probation and then I was like, like, even when I got off, I was like, I'm kind of done with all that, like, drinking and whatever now. And you just go back. You just go, you go up and, like, I'm sure at, like, 29, I'm going to be like, hey, guys, I'm done with all that. Yeah, I got to really focus on my career.

And then 32, I'm going to be getting hammered, smoking cigarettes in my ears and my nose and be like, oh, guys, look at me. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's the funny. I like, I really like the people that go, I'm going to be sober for seven years. Like, they're like, I will 100% drink when I turn 30. That's kind of a cool move because, like, you build a career and then you're like, all right, now I'm just going to get.

Because you are some, like, when I was on probation. Like when I was on probation, it was the best music I've ever made. I worked like three jobs and worked out. And like my relationship was awesome. Like there was no problems. Like everything was awesome when I was sober. And then I started drinking again. And it's like, you know, my health gets worse and whatever.

It's like more fun. But yeah, it's better. Yeah. Objectively better. Yeah. Dude, my favorite is seeing like, oh, dude, when I see an old guy drinking and I'm like, there's something about, dude, seeing a guy in like salmon shorts and his legs just look like E.T. colored just from the sun.

but he's like a white guy. And then he's just smoking cigarettes, drinking. E.T. colored. That's great. Yeah. Because you don't get black, but you get some weird leathery brown,

like mahogany. The burnt hot dog. The burnt hot dog. Yeah. Very Florida. Yeah. And I'm like, to die.

I'm absolutely smoking cigarettes. I want to be that. And that's what I don't want to, I don't want to get too old to have fun. And because you see that when people get married at like 27 and they're like, hey, I'm too old now. I don't have fun.

Yeah. That's like your brother. Yeah. Yeah. That, that. I don't really. know, but that's right soon. He settled down a lot.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm settled down, me and my, you know, whatever. And it's like, you guys are still have fun. Yeah, yeah. Well, he also doesn't like drinking anymore, which is weird to me. That. Oh, he, I don't like that. You like, his body doesn't enjoy that.

I always knew there was something fucking weird about it. Well, it's like, I do, I do get some of it. The problem, like, dude, I literally will like, look, I'm not going to fund a cure for cancer, but I will fund, like, a hangover cure thing. Like, the science. They need to find the science behind that. No, it's- Cancer's not going anywhere.

Hangovers, we can figure this out. It's Matt. I realized when I got an alcohol violation at Florida State and they made me take the class on it, I don't know if you ever had to do that. It's literally, it's like if you drink 15 beers, it takes 15 hours for that alcohol to be gone. No matter how, like, much or long you've drank,

it's like body weight divided by. It's just mathematical. There's no cure for it. Because you could get, you could cure like the dehydration. Yeah, but what I'm saying, when you're a child, you can get fucked up and the hangover's not as bad. No, I think you literally just... Yeah, I don't know. I don't know what that is.

We need adrenochrome. We need something to make us young. Dude, I don't know what it... Dude, if adrenochrome cured hangovers, I'm killing kids. We're going to go out tonight and see some like 17-year-old who obviously snuck in and we're going to be like, hey, you want to come back to him? We want to come hang out with us, man. Let's show you some cool stuff, man. Just slit his throat. You know what's funny too? Because like the whole adreno crow thing is you have to scare them enough to get their blood. I love the idea just like Bill Clinton and like a ghost outfit

like, ooh-go-book-a-book-book-a-gook. He's like, all right, what scares kids these days? Yeah, you gotta be careful in Hollywood. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's funny, too, Hollywood is such a bad neighborhood. It's literally, it's the most dangerous part of LA. I have friends that grew up in Watts, and when they see there's like a show or something in Hollywood, they're like,

I'm not fucking going down there. Oh, really? Literally, because it's so many homeless, crazy people and shit like that. Has it gotten more dangerous? It's COVID? Yes, it's disgustingly dangerous. I picture a guy. Because it's not like, there's no gangs or anything like that.

That's exactly how New York is. I'm not like, you know organized crime. Most of the time people selling drugs do not want to get in trouble. Nobody's selling drugs. I mean, I've had a knife pulled on me. And that's why crime statistics, if you look at crime statistics, you'll look at like neighborhoods have like really high crime because people do crime to each other.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. People rob each other. People kill someone they know. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But it's like, that's not what I'm afraid. of. I'm afraid of being in Times Square or fucking Hollywood Boulevard. Yeah, some guy with like a fucking bicycle lock just hit you in the face. Exactly. And there's no reason. He's screaming about Satan. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. That's not me, dude.

I'm just picturing just like a homeless guy coming up in like trying to, like, do any of them, do any of them think they're in Hollywood? Yes. No, because you'll see, it'll be, I talked about this last time. It's like a guy with, like, a platinum blonde wig on. And he's, like, screaming. And he's like, I know share. I know share. I don't share. And you're like, cool. Do you think any of those people, maybe they partied with those people?

I think so. No, I think so. Because New York has that too. Like, I know a guy's like a painter and he's totally homeless. He's like,

yeah, man, I was really fucking good, man. Yeah, because L.A. and New York, like,

you end up eventually rubbing elbows with someone where you're like, oh my God, you're fucking Hannibal Burris or, you know, whatever,

like some, some, like, minor celebrity. And if you do that three times and you're schizophrenic. Yeah, exactly.

And then you're homeless because you're not actually, you think you're famous, but, you know. Yeah, it is a funny. I'm having that too with stand-up where it's like, I'm doing shows in Florida now. And you realize it's like, oh, yeah, I don't know, it's like, it's certain things are harder in different states. Like race humor might be easier here, but then like something else might be harder here. But, yeah, it's such an up and down with you realize. Yeah, you can say the N-word as much as you want.

In Florida, you're fine. Tony's great. Tony gets away. Tony could say anything because he's got that. He doesn't say the- anywhere, by the way. Yeah, well, he's... Behind closed doors.

No, I'm just kidding. I don't know him that well. Yeah. But he does black rooms and just kills it saying the most wild stuff. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, no, yeah, that's how he... Yeah, yeah.

Because he's just so unapologian. He's just like, what? No, yeah, that's who I am. Yeah, yeah. But, yeah, yeah, it's... You have that here, but then, like, other things, like, I have, like, a dead baby joke,

and it was, like, pulling teeth doing it down here. It was like, yeah, because I had to go to a baby funeral one time, I'm telling the joke about it. Oh, yeah. But it is fun because you get better at stand-up because you're like, I'm going to make...

Because, like, once you hit the third joke about the subject, they're like, all right, I guess he's not changing topics. And they're like, well, yeah. Do you think abortion is the reason they don't... You think because they're anti-abortion? Yeah, I was like, no, no, no, they tried, they kept the kid. They know abortion. They're like, clap, gop, got up.

But, like, he just died because of the... Natural causes? Yeah. I don't know if a bathtub is natural causes, but... Oh, how did you have the kid die? You left him in the bathtub? Yeah. And drowned?

Yeah. So dark. That's what they say, though, but I don't know. No, really daddy got angry. I think they think he had information on ISIS. And they were trying to get it out of them. You hear those stories about guys that get really in the queue. And then their kids are like, hey, dad, stop.

And they're like, what do you know? Yeah. It was one of those things. Well, the craziest I was learning about the cue to woo. So like a lot of the hippie people are like they like... Oh, woo, like woo, woo, like woo. Yeah. I thought you meant like Wu-Tang.

Yeah, the Wu-Tang fans have got it. Wu-Tang to Kanye West to Q. Yeah, yeah. No, it's like this thing. No, that's real because my girlfriend's in that community. Yeah, yeah. There's a lot of overlap between, like, hey, they don't want you to know this. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

And then that being like, they don't want you to know that the Jews run Hollywood and our sacrifice. She believes all the Satan's Satan. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Satan Hollywood shit. Yeah. So you're absolutely correct. Well, there is, okay, so there is like, in the, there, I'm sure there's some say, but saintism is bullshit because Satan's not real.

Exactly. Exactly. Yeah. There's not real. There are people. She's not a Christian. She doesn't believe in Christ in the Bible. And so she'll be like, she'll be like, that's demonic. I'm like, you don't believe in demons.

Yeah. You're not a Christian. Like you don't, she's like, they're sacrificing to Satan. It's like, you don't believe in Satan. No, no. People are killing kids because it's fun. It has nothing to do with, it's easy. It's so much easier for me to believe in people wanting to fuck something.

and destroy it because they have a lot of power. Yes, compared to them. They want adrenicro. Yeah, exactly. 100%. Yeah, I understand. I can get into that mindset. Yeah, yeah.

I totally believe there's a pedophile elite thing going on. Yeah. But it's not, they're not, they worship them itself. They're so too fast. Yeah, exactly, right. They're like, Satan's real. I'm Satan. I'm running shit.

Yeah, and that's his oldest time. Fatty Arbuckle. They didn't, you know. Excuse me? Fatty R. I'm just kidding. Did you fucking call me? Yeah.

Yeah, Fatty Arbuckle. He was like a silent film star and he was like a, Goof, he was like the opposite of the straight man, you know? Yeah, yeah. And then he, like, some girl was like 18, like young actress, just found dead and like mangled. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It was one of those things where it was like a Harvey Weinstein or not a Harvey Weinstein, but like where half the people were like, no, fatty wouldn't do that. Yeah, yeah.

And it's like the darkest shit ever. I picture them interrogating him and he's just like, whoa, whoa. Yeah. He can't talk. He's a silent film star. Yeah, yeah. This is real life, though. It's like, bo bo, bo, bo, boom.

Her insides were turned out. The point, did I tell you about that? Because you know how there's the black Israelites. There are black people who think that, like... Yeah, yeah. Did I take to the idea of the reverse as Jewish guys? That think they're black? Like Jewish teenagers?

We are the real Ethiopians. Yeah, yeah, yeah. We are the real Egyptians. Was us, the Jews. Yeah, he's like a 17-year-old guy with braces. Instead of, like, the opposite, like the black guys dressed in, like, Israeli garbs, it's, like, Jewish guys dressed in, like, du rags. Yes, yes, yes, yes.

Because we went to high school a couple guys. Or Deshikis. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Because there's always those Jewish guys that, like, love basketball. They love hip-hop. Jews love basketball. Yeah, Jews love basketball. They love hip-hop.

I could say this as a Jew. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's not racist for me to say that I like hip-hop. In basketball. Beastie boys. Actually, you don't like basketball. I don't like basketball. I'm only half Jewish.

Yeah. That's an Irish Italian in me. It's like, well, basketball. Come on. Yeah, come on. What are you one of those? Yeah. Who was that?

I don't let me know where our brain's going right now. I hate when you say that. That's the one pet pee. You ask for like feedback on the podcast. Never, never, never, never anymore say, my brain can't, I can't think of this. My brain can't think of this. Yeah.

On the microphone. that'll, that'll do it. Yeah. That got a serious. I didn't mean, you could do it. No,

no, no, no, you're good. No, I agree completely. Because it's just, as a listener, you hear that and you're like, why the fuck am I listening to you that?

No, no, I agree. I agree completely. But it is one of those things that sometimes it's my brain. I also have a thing where I start a sentence before I know where it's going. Yeah.

Which is a horrible way to talk. Yeah. That's how Conjeet West talks. That's how Donald, that's how Donald Trump talks, they're like, they finish a sentence and they're like, wait,

what did I just fucking say? Now I got to back up. You're like, do you regret saying that? They're like, I don't fucking know what I said. It was funny hearing Kanye on like Lex Friedman's podcast because like it was... He doubled down hard on all that shit. That was so funny. And Lex Friedman's like, he's the worst.

I hate, I can't stand him. He's like a great guy, but I just can't when he's like... Dude, he's such a nerd. I'm like, he's dressed up like a fucking limo driver. He's one of the worst examples of Joe Rogan making someone famous that shouldn't have been. Yeah, you're like, okay, sure. He's a scientist, but he can't talk, interestingly. And he's like, no, people deserve to live the life they want to live.

And people deserve to be creative and life is beautiful. And you're like, shut the fuck up. Yeah, go make something. You fucking nerd. Yeah, go make something. Yeah, exactly. Fucking nerd. He's not cool like us.

Yeah, no, we're fucking cool guys. Yeah, that is the, oh, the worst one guy's like that trying to make a joke. And you're like, Elon Musk being like, I'm not fucking funny. I built a rocket and shaped like a penis. You're like, no, it's not. It's like, for all the reasons to hate. Elon Musk, it should be that he thinks he's like a

fun, goofy guy and isn't. No, yeah, yeah, yeah. That's, that's just fucking drives me crazy. Yeah, yeah. Him like hosting us and always like, oh my mother. Nobody, he brought his mom out there. Yeah, I don't know. I don't like him. No. I don't like him. Yeah. I don't even care that he was an

apartheid, uh, trilling there and like, what was it? What is this? Murder's kid. Well, he was, uh, apartheid. I'm just throwing out buzzwords. Yeah. I'm like, Iran, Contra involved. Well, he was, he was from South Africa. It's funny, his family is not from South Africa.

They were from, like, America and Canada and went there during apartheid. And I saw him on a podcast. He was like, I got, like, TikTok. They showed me this. I'm like, why? And he's like, well, he was a pilot and he liked to explore. And so South Africa was a land of opportunity for him to explore. And it's like, yeah, but they, they, they,

were like killing people on the streets. Like that was the time when they were doing it. Listen, listen, my dad, he explored Afghanistan. Yes, did he bring machine guns to explore Afghanistan? That thing ever, I was watching old Shark Tank episodes. And there's one from like 2005 or something. And it was this company that was like, we're all ran by Marines. We're all ex.

And they like that ex-military stuff. Yeah. And it was a spice company based out of Afghanistan. them. And they were all like ex-CIA and ex-military and stuff and they were like, we're providing opportunities

to the locals who grow these spices and we're selling them on a global market. I'm like, is this the fucking East India company? What the fuck is this? Yeah, they're still doing that. I don't know, I pictured it being even more I picture just like an app.

They're like, you could tell if somebody's a terrorist or not. Like looking at their face, you're like, come on. Yeah, yeah, a lot of that stuff is bullshit. Yeah, it's funny knowing nothing about it because I'll learn a little bit about, I'll pick, okay, we went to, I don't, yeah, I know very little. It was interesting learning about the poppy stuff. Oh, by the way, real quick.

Yeah. I'm going to clarify, we beeped a name on an episode. It wasn't me saying the N-word. Oh, no, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I got a couple things. First off, I have no idea what the, what is it the, uh... We'll go through because I listen to these and I'm like, that's not right. That's not right.

Like, you guys don't know. Dude, so the, uh... The beep wasn't the N-word. It was somebody's name. Yes, a white guy who acts black. That you didn't want to offend that you think. think you're close to, but you're not. Yeah, yeah, but I was just like, I don't want it getting

out there today. You're like, he's, he might hear, it's like, no, he's way more famous. Yeah, yeah, he won't. But now the beep sounds like I'm saying the N-word, because we're like, yeah, we just hate that they act black, beep, and then it sounds bad. But, yeah, there's that. And then I have no idea with the, what's the Jewish organization, I was going to say the Jewish organization that sues people. I know that's the,

a lot of them. I know, the, what's it called? Reformation League. Yeah, yeah. You said they were started by Italians so people wouldn't call them Wops or something? Way off, way off. I heard that once I wanted a podcast. The other thing was, I thought that they just sued people for saying anti-Semitic things.

There's nothing to do with that. They only sue, like, uh, like they're not suing Kanye or anything like that. Like, that's not. Yeah, it's like the Southern Poverty Law Center. Like, they provide legal, like, help to people that are going through civil rights cases. Yeah, yeah. Because if you got your civil rights, like, violated and you're going up, a big corporation or something.

Yeah, you step in and they're like, hey, we'll give you money to help your legal defense or whatever. For sure. I thought there was just somebody stopping people from saying anti-Semitic things. And for some reason, I was like, hey, let them say. I don't agree with it, but let them. Yeah, they were just like, their whole job is going through podcasts and being like, that sounded awfully close to the K word. Yeah, yeah, no, no. It's not that at all. But the only shady thing I did see, it was like, apparently there are certain times where, like,

because they're very pro is real. So, like, that's the only thing that's, yeah, because somebody. says something, they're like, that's an he's medic. Yeah. It's like, and it's like, I said you shouldn't shoot kids in the face. I wasn't even talking about Israel. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Oh shit, my bad. We thought this was, uh, you mean when they did it in Israel? I'm like, no. No, no, I just say it's a general thing. Yeah, yeah, yeah, that's, uh, yeah, also I was talking about that before that, the terms are so weird because semi-technically like Asian. Semite is more, also, that's outdated.

That's when they used to call Asian people Mongoloid. Yeah. It was like cocazoid, negroid, Mongoloid, Semetic. All of those sound horrible. A cocazoid for Caucasians? Yeah. Is he a cocazoid? Yeah.

Like, no. When I hear a cocazoid, I don't know why I pictured like a... Like a little person, just like a huge cock. Like half his body is penis. Or maybe like a robot, too. Yeah, anti-Semitic is... And also because it's like ethnic, too. So it's like Semitism or like Semitism.

or like semites are like an ethnic group. Right. Where it's like, because like Palestinians are Semitic. Yeah, yeah, yeah. They're both Semetic. So it's like a Palestinian can't be anti-Semitic.

Yeah, because that's, yeah. Yeah, because then they would be a self-hating Jew. Yeah, yeah, which is the thing. It is a thing. Yeah, yeah. That's always the weird thing with the, uh, yeah, I don't know. It's always confusing because I'm like, people are always like, oh, you, I can't be this because I'm that. I'm like, no, you can still be raised it.

It's like I say that. Like, I can make Jewish jokes. Not really. I didn't have a one. Yeah. Well, it's like you can be like a self-hating black. You can be like, you're not racist to give... The problem I do is, you know what I'm starting to try to do is like stop making fun of white people

because it's so easy and it's so fun. Right. But then I'm realizing it's like, that's kind of the same thing. Because there's guys that, like, especially in L.A., they're like... Oh, yeah. Especially in L.A. or New York. You know what I mean? They're like, they'll...

They're really like, they're really like, they're like, they see. say they're not racist, they say they're not, you know, like, prejudice towards anything, but then they'll see some guy and, like, dress like us right now. Yeah. And then they'll be like, what is this fucking cracker, dude? Yeah, yeah, yeah. And I'm like, oh, you might also be racist, too. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, because if you're, you're putting people in groups like that. So I'm trying not to be racist against anyone, even white people, which is so hard because it's so funny and it's so easy. Well, also, I think there's baseline humor where you are, like, taking tropes and making fun of them. Yeah. And then actually believing it. Yeah.

Like, I think there's a big difference between thinking that, like, all of us are shooting up high schools and then joking that, like, somebody looks like a school shooter. You know what I mean? Like, I don't think it's like, yeah. But I don't look like school shooters because we're cool. Yeah. So it's not really accurate to us. No, exactly. Not us, them. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

The Pikachu kids. Yeah, yeah, those are the ones. But it's also like, it is one of those things that was like, one thing that everybody has a problem doing is like, like, one thing that everybody has a problem doing is like, like, Like, I think whenever somebody of a race stands out and says, my people don't believe this, the problem is now mentally, I start thinking all of them. So, like,

I was talking to, like, somebody about it. And I was like, they're like, oh, well, black people don't like, when this happens. And you're like, well, to be fair, now, that's not true. Now, yeah, yeah,

now you're making a whole population think that they all think that way. I was like, what black people are exactly like white people and says that, like, we all have all kinds of different views. They're so diverse. It's such a, it's, they're not, like, relevant terms because there's so many different, kinds of black person in different parts of the country.

And that's not even like Africa. You know what I mean? Like they're all over the world. Different kinds of black people. So even when somebody's trying to be progressive. And white people too. Yeah. You know what I mean?

Even when somebody's trying to be progressive and they're like, well, black people don't want this as when you're like, well now you're not all of them. Yeah. Yeah. It's just as diverse than any other group. Because when people think that all black people are liberals, I'm like, you haven't been in the South and met like a black grandma. Yeah.

Yeah. That's like you're not fucking going out of my house wearing that. Yeah. They're conservative. They're like. They're Christian. For sure. They're Baptist.

They don't fuck around with that gay shit. Yeah. Like, I'm in my house. You're not going out. Yeah. But that's every race has that. So it's like, yeah, it's one of those things where you think everybody thinks the same way. And I mean, some of them think they're Jewish.

Yeah. Which is, it is funny because some people, like, I see them all the time in New York. Like, it's really. It's big in New York. Yeah. Yeah. Are they in L.A. at all? Well, I don't know.

I don't think so. I mean, but there's a lot of, I'll be hanging out with guys that'll be like, you know, we're the real Jews, right? And I'm like, but I do what I do with everyone, which is I totally agree. And I'm like, hell yeah, dude. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Because I hear so many different political opinions all the time. And I'm just like, you know what, you're on to something.

Yeah. And then I walk away and I go, that guy's fucking crazy. Yeah. But they're not on the street, like in New York. Because when I went to New York as a kid, I saw him. Yeah. And so, some of the dudes, one of the dudes. And I didn't get it.

I was like, that guy's black and Jewish. Yeah. Well, and there are also like people who, like, Who are? Yeah, there's drinks. Yeah. Which gets confusing because that's all one guy, too. One dude looks so fucking badass. He for sure had to be a black kids or like, or maybe he was just the coolest black Jewish guy I ever seen. Dude had black turtleneck, black leather jacket, a ginormous star of David. Sorry, David, that's so hard.

Giant afro and a yarmulka. And I was like, Jesus Christ. That was the coolest. He looked like he had like a gun with a silent. He looked like what are they called black exploitation films? Yes, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. He looked like one of those where it's like. like he was it's like that's Jewish Mike

and it's like he doesn't let nothing happen in this neighborhood yeah like Hebrew Tyrese the cop who's like also like an undercover agent like bhao and shit like that yeah he gets his his like counterparts like an Irish guy and he's like he's like racist against blacks and Jews so he has to get partnered up with him

and he's like oh shit yeah that was funny watching is it dirty hair that was the funniest thing where they're like isn't the whole reason they call him dirty hair they're like he doesn't like anybody and he names all the races and he's like So he's not technically racist. I don't like blacks.

I don't like whites. He's still racist. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's like, no, I only like my type of white. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. He's like, no, I actually hate myself. I hate myself. No, he's just an angry, bad guy.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. They're like, he doesn't play by the rules. It's like, yeah, he's a dirty cop. He should be fired from the police force. Probably put in jail. That's somebody, that was a full trope. They're like, he doesn't play by the rules. It's like, yeah.

that's police brutality. Yeah, so many, even in early 2000, even like cop out and shit like that. Yeah, as much as that they drag a guy behind a car and they're like, what is this? It's like, oh yeah, he doesn't play by the rules. It's like, aren't we like protesting that? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

But don't worry, he'll catch the drug dealers. Yeah, right? And it's like they're moving tons of weed. And it's like, oh, I don't even care about that. That's not bad. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, that is the weird thing. But the one thing I did realize, though, it's so funny.

It's like, if you've bought in cocaine, you truly have funded murderers. Yeah. There's no way around, that is the hard thing I just realized. Yeah. Because, and I'm not saying, by the way, I'm not saying don't buy cocaine because I'm like, do whatever drugs you're going to do. I don't really believe in boycotting necessarily. But like, if you're going to boycott one thing, I guarantee you what Walmart is doing is probably not as bad is what a cartel leader is doing.

Right. Well, it's like, I don't know. I think they're moving towards they're trying to make it where the cartels actually have like real legal authority and they're legally allowed to do all that shit. Yeah, so they stop the violence. Wait, how would that stop the violence? I don't know. Well, because they're not going to be, because there's wars in the cartels where the Mexican military. Oh, right.

Because that's how the military stirs a lot of that shit up. Really? Yeah, because the cartels might be like somewhat working together where they control certain territory. And then there will be like a military unit that'll come in and just start fucking killing people. And they'll take, like, that's how the Zetas were. They were trained by the U.S. they were like an elite task force of like army rangers that ended up becoming a cartel basically.

Oh yeah, yeah, yeah. Because they took people out and then they were like, well, let's control this area. And then they just broke away from the military, from the government. So it's like if they're not fighting them with military, they don't have to upgrade the arms. So it doesn't keep escalating and stuff

and they can just control their little territory and everyone like stays. I don't know how long that'll last. That's a good point. I always think of, like, when I hear a cartel, I think of a guy with a machete and I have kids in a basement. But those kids are the rival drug dealers kids. So it's good. Yeah.

Hey, look, that's what you get for having a father that's involved in the long business. I get so torn because it's like, I don't know. I mean, I don't know. I don't. But I love Mexico so much for the lawlessness. That's what's so great about Tijuana is it's like, you could do whatever you want there. Right. But then it's like when I went there.

I want to go to a donkey show. I'm just saying. You got, you would love. You would love. You really, I'm telling you right now, it's like, you love New Orleans. You love Miami and New York and places where the bars stay open all night and it's crazy. That's, that's the New Orleans of Mexico's Tijuana. Damn, it's amazing.

It's just live music all night and people doing crazy stuff. I know a guy who was like, he was in high school and he like banged a hooker at like a show. That's, yeah. And it's so funny because he's like, look at this. I went to Mexico and I was like, yeah, sure. What did you bang a hooker? And there's a video of them banging a hooker. That's funny.

When we were down. on there. I'm like, aren't those strip clubs? Like, world famous? And all the guys went all the time that I was with. And they were like, yeah, they're like, yeah. And I'm like, yeah, we should go. It would be fine. I'm like, I have a girlfriend. I'm not going to get a lap dance. I just want to go in and have a drink. And they're like, okay, all right, if you want to. And then we walk down and we're about to walk in. And he's like, okay, well, you usually just kind of like tap one of them and be like, and I'm like, what do you mean? I'm like, I'm not getting a laugh dance. Just want to have a drink. He's like, do you know what this is? Yeah, yeah, it's not. And I'm like, no,

he's like, this isn't a strip club. This is a brothel. They just call it a strip club. Yeah, because they can't just be like, fuck Lord. And we peeked their head at it. It's not, there's no poles. There's no dancers. They're just girls around.

Yeah. And the guys have the girlfriend experience where they sit and have drinks with them. And then they're just going in the back and fuck it. I'm like, oh, I don't want to do this at all. Yeah. I'm not going to do it. I'm not going to do it. Yeah.

You want to see your friend with boobs in his face. That's what. Yeah. You want to go in and be like, hey, I have a girlfriend. I'm not going to, you know, whatever. but this is fun, this is whatever, we're going to have a drink of them and pop out. Not,

and it's so funny that my friend, he's married and he was like, he was like reluctantly taking me to this. I was like, you knew this whole time? He was like, yeah, I thought you wanted to get your fucking dick stuff. Yeah, he's like, all right, I guess we'll go. And it's funny because he grew up in San Diego, so he knew, he's like, we all did this in high school.

That's what they do. Oh, they just, yeah, yeah. They all went and it was like a whole day. So he was like, oh, we'll take you. Yeah. That's gonna be so funny to go to bang a hooker in Mexico And then you get back to high school And this girl's like

You know, I think I might be comfortable Of giving you a hand job You're like, I don't care I just started methamphetamine off of a machete Yeah, right A 40-year-old woman I don't want a hand job Also, they're not, they don't card there

They don't give a fuck No, there's no, yeah Yeah, for sure It's funny though Because then you see kids Like people are so Because Mexico's so crazy Like middle class kids are so sheltered

Yeah We like ran into some kids And we were smoking a blunt out front and they were like, hey, can we, can we try it? And we gave it. And the kid does the goofiest, like, yeah, yeah. Wow.

Like, it hasn't even kicked it. Yeah, and it's like, we're in Mexico being a bad influence on this, like, on this kid. Yeah, yeah. You know, because we're so used to L.A. just smoking blunts outside. Yeah, it's not making a difference. Yeah. It's funny. Yeah, my fear is, I brought a guy to his trip club recently who had never been.

And this guy, he looks like, like, he looks like a, he looks like a fourth member of, like, super bad, like curly hair, like skinny guy. and seeing this girl wrap her heels around his neck and shove his face into her ass, like bang her asshole against his nose, I was like, this is why I go. That's what you want. Yeah, the guy who's like, I don't know about this,

and you're like, ah, you got butt in your face now. Yeah, it's that, but when he goes, okay, can you guys let me $200? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. He's like, do, please. And it's like, yeah, this isn't healthy. We shouldn't do this. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Yeah, it's funny that that's just like a world, that would be an interesting sitcom around like a strip club. There's a lot of funny stuff that happens. I'm sure, yeah. Remember, we did it in New Summer and a Beach, we walked. That's my favorite. That's what you're talking about. We go to strip club, by the way, we're like,

we're like, let's just go to dinner at one. Yeah, yeah. We're like, that'll be whatever. It'll be funny. We'll have a drink and, like, get some food at the strip club. Little do we know, this is basically just a whore house during the day. So their hours are open at 5 o'clock because people go to fuck hors there. Sex workers.

Yeah, come on. I'm not saying that in a bad way. Hey, hose are cool. I respected. They are fun to hang out with. I don't think I know any. I did. When I was a bartender, there was one that would come and bring Johns to the bar.

She worked at. She was so funny. She was so awesome. She was like a fun hang because you would see some guy there and then he'd be buying drinks for her and you'd be like, Oh, you got another one? Yeah, yeah. Yeah. She's like, well, this guy's kind of been out of small dick.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. And joking around with her. Yeah. that's against client patient confidentiality. They're like, no, he pays me to make fun of his small. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. But you're like, I get that. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

If anybody understands that, it's me. But we went in, it was so funny because they were like five o'clock, and there's nobody there besides like three guys drinking at the bar. We're like, are you guys open? They're like, yeah, we're open, yeah, we got a girl coming right now. Like, this isn't what we're looking for. They had the energy of when you're throwing a party and no one's there yet. You're like, it'll get better.

Yeah, yeah. They were like, no, just stay, hang out. It'll be fun. One of the hookers was like sweeping up popcorn on the floor. And they're like, yeah, you wanted to see these girls' tits? And we're like, no, this is what we're looking for right now. He knew it was bad because there's a motel right there. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

One of our friends got his balls sucked and blown at the same time. Oh, yeah. That was funny because he was at dinner talking about that night. He's like, dude, I fucking went and got my balls. Yeah, not when we were there. As we were getting the check. And he's like, thank you so much. That was a great meal.

Yeah, no, everyone can, we had like a bonfire. everyone came back and they were like, no, we all got her dick suck. Like this, we only paid $50. And we were like, maybe we shouldn't have gone

to that thing. Yeah, yeah, I'm glad it was closed. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Because, yeah, that would have been,

yeah, it's weird because apparently. Because if everyone's getting their dick sucked and then it's just me and you with girlfriends sitting there like, that's not fun. Yeah,

yeah, I don't want it. And then everyone comes back and they're like, oh, it was fun. And I'm like, sure. Yeah, yeah.

Or what did they, I guess they just not even have fun and just relax. You got to deal with them, you're like, hey, was it fun guys? You're like, no. Yeah, yeah. How much time we got left on this? We got like literally 10 minutes left.

Oh, cool, cool. Yeah, no, I'm going to get fucked up today. I'm getting drunk this whole time. Yeah, yeah. I'm definitely, I'm saying it's allergies. I hope it's allergies, but we'll be fine. I really don't want everyone to get sick and not be able to hang out the next few days because you got them sick. So hopefully it takes a while to kick it.

Well, whatever it is. I've had it for like a week now. So that's why I think it's allergies. You don't seem that, but you haven't coughed on. I've been coughing. No, it's also, maybe it's just hot in here. Yeah,

it feels terrible. I don't know how they work in here. What the fuck do they do? Is it just, it's probably, yeah, we're in one of my, the conference rooms in my dad's office.

I bet you this is like an intimidation factor. Yeah, yeah, he's just like, he bring people in here. He's just sweating. Hunter Biden and shit. I love this.

This is, like, would have been such an uncomfortable environment when I was younger. And now it's like, pretending. Yeah, now I'm like, I'm never gonna work

in this building. I've never, yeah, yeah, it's fake business. I love it. Oh, yeah, yeah.

We should walk out and like, by the way, how much, how many farts besides mine do you think have been in this conference room? Probably zero.

No, a lot. Well, yeah, people get nervous. Someone gave a presentation right there and just ruined their career. Fucking crazy fart.

Yeah, thank God random boners aren't like a thing as an adult. Because like it's, no, you're just like impotent. Maybe,

maybe, maybe, Not to like the same level Because we were kids Like you would get fucking wrong heart In church Yeah You'd be like literally this

And assembly In the middle school Yeah yeah And then yeah You go up to get the communion Yeah Yeah And then

You get a little back rubbed You see Jesus on the cross And you're like Oh This feels so bad It's so funny How gay Christianity is Yeah yeah

Yeah There's everything about it You're like I just have some I just need this man Inside me It's fun It's so funny

Everyone I know that's like really, really Christian is a little bit gay. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I've worked with people, and they're like, they have that kind of like gay Southern, you know. Hey, how's it going? Yeah, of course, I'm a man of Jesus. And, of course, yeah, they're always Christian. It's like, you're, you want to fuck Christ. Oh, yeah.

You want Christ inside of you. Everyone knows. Yeah. Well, they make them so goddamn sexy and all the pictures. Yeah, exactly. Yeah, it's like, wait. And then you find out priests are fucking kids and you're like, this whole thing. Yeah.

This whole thing about butt fucking. You read into the Bible, it's like, there's a lot about anal sex in here. Apparently. It's like one must clean their rectum. Go to those tallest streams and put your asshole against where the water comes out of the river. It's a lot about, like, stealing iPhones and having anal sex. Yeah. That's a West Hollywood joke, by the way.

Stealing iPhones? Stealing iPhones. Gays, like, when you're in a gay neighborhood in L.A., like they have signs that are like, watch your phone. People steal it all time. Because you know what? If you're trying to steal phones, a horny dude's probably the easiest thing to steal the phone.

Guys were short shorts with the phone in the back pocket. Oh, it's so easy. Just give him a little pat on the back in the butt. Yeah, that happened. I was at a bar. Dude, if I was getting my asshole fingered, there's no way I'd notice what's in my pocket. Zero percent chance.

I'm getting blown by a dude. I don't know what's going on. There was a gay dude that was hitting on me at a bar the other day, and I had my AirPods in my ears. I was ignoring him. And not because I'm homophobic. He was hammered. And I have my case right here.

And he's like trying to turn. And I'm like, no, I'm just like hanging out here or whatever. And then he grabs my AirPods right in front of me. Oh, my God. I'm not as drunk as you. I could see you right fucking there. Yeah. And then it was a big mess.

You got kicked out of the war. But I'm like something, something. It's a stereotype. I didn't know existed. And now I will 100% watch out for. Yeah. Gay dudes stealing. And so everybody's like a gay club.

Be like, it's a dangerous neighborhood. Yeah. Yeah. Like kids, kids. phones in pockets. Yeah, yeah. Do they have buttons? Snap them.

Yeah. I also, I don't know why I, I, this is what I'm talking about too, just playing the tropes. The idea of gay guys stealing things and just putting them in my, their ass is like, it's like obviously that's not a thing. They crave things in there. Yeah. It's like a PSA.

Yeah. It's like, that's not, we want to sell the phone. Yeah, yeah, yeah. We're not just going to cover it. It's like the like, like, uh, like African, like anti-gay stuff where they're like, they eat the poo poo. Oh. That video...

They take the phones and they put it in their butt. I rewatch that video. So funny. So funny. He's like... And then they eat it like ice cream. And then he's just like...

And he's just showing... He goes, if there are any children now, they leave the room. And he just shows the most like graphic gay sex... Yeah. And it's... That's the kind of guy. It's like... I don't know if they ever did, but he's watched so much gay police.

Oh, yes. Yes, yes. He's like, this is disgusting. Yeah. I cannot believe. Yeah. Dude, if you Because do you know how, first off,

scat porn is not on the first page of porn sites. It's so hard to find it. It's so hard to find it. This guy, I've seen it just to say, but I actually, actually haven't. That's how hard to find it is. You've seen two girls one cup. I've seen two girls one cup,

but that was shown to me. I've literally never accidentally saw someone taking shit. Skat porn for me is like, listen, I'm gonna get into it for a second. Scat porn to me is like a band. I like throwing up a little in my mouth. You think is cool for like a week? Like, look, I watched it for like a week.

I was like, maybe this is for me. And then I was like, this is not for me. That's insane. Yeah. I was like, I was like maybe. I was like maybe,

you know, because it's foreign. I can't judge. I've done, I've gone through all types of revelals. Yeah, because I'm like, okay,

the idea of a hot girl is hot, right? Right. The idea of a hot girl taking a shit is somewhat mysterious. You're like, I'm throwing up in my mouth.

So I don't understand it. I'll. Well, hey, now I don't. But we're different. Yeah. That's okay. You're black.

I'm white. Yeah. But it's like I watched it And I was like... You just grew up differently. Exactly. Exactly. Yeah. But yeah.

Now, now it's grow up. But I was like, yeah, let me see. And then I was like, yeah, no, no, no. Not for me. Somebody eating shit, that makes me throw up. But you're seeing somebody take a dump, it's kind of funny to me. I'm like, yeah, whatever. Somebody pooping.

Yeah. He was really a double cannibal duke. Yeah. That's amazing. Because it's all grainy. That's funny. That's where it started from... I'm just kidding.

This guy cannibaling and you're shooting in a pool. I'm like, well, what if that was a woman? I'm like... On a glass table. I'm so gaggy. Like, Oh, right. No more poop talk.

No more poop talk. Stop saying poop, dude. What about peeing? Yeah, we had, we had some friends in the, in the pee. And that would talk about it. Never mind. I don't know who you're talking about, yeah. Yeah.

I'm gonna make that joke. I'll tell you later. Oh, okay. Yeah, yeah, yeah. What a disgusting for you. But it's funny because it's like, you always have a friend that's into something like that'll like casually drop it. And they'll be like, dude, isn't that?

Yeah. What are you talking about? It's like, yeah, that scene wasn't that kind of hot in that show where she was over? There was a guy. Hey, man. My favorite thing I ever heard.

Oh, yeah. That guy, this girl randomly was like, I need to pee. And this guy's like, she was joking around. It was like, it was like ninth grade. Yeah.

She got to pee. And he's like, uh-oh. He was joking. She goes, she goes, somebody came up to like, she was like, it's something about peeing in her mouth.

He goes, that'd be hot. He goes, if you guys actually watched it? And they're like, yo, it's like, what? I was like, you keep that to your, you don't just say, especially in ninth grade too.

Yeah, pee my fucking mouth. That's so funny. Yeah, that's wild. Because now it's like, at 25, it's like, yeah, it's like, yeah, it's like, yeah, it's like,

compete on. As long as it's not a kid. Yeah, exactly. But at 14, you're so, it's like, you have, like conformity is such a big thing. Doing anal with a woman was called gay. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. We're gonna fucking chick in the ass. It's so funny. What do you wish it was a dude with a penis and no boobs? Like, I remember like, like,

Like pretending like a girl licking your ass was gay, even though it's the best thing ever. It's the best feeling ever. Yeah, yeah. And it's like I, that happened to me when I was like 16. That happened to me. And I like told somebody and they were like,

that's show gay. And I'm like, yeah, dude, that was like, I was like, no. No, no. Definitely not my ass. And I like threw her out of the house. So I was like, no, dude. Not in my watch.

Yeah. But really I was like, let's do this again. Yeah, yeah. Well, that's the funny thing. And then it got cool, like, two years later. Yeah. Oh, it became so popular.

Now it's like, yeah. But it was funny. We take it for granted. Yeah, absolutely, yeah. But that was the funny part, too, because I knew a lot of people would say bang her on the ass is gay. I'm like, that's crazy.

It's a female. Yeah. Is banging her mouth gay? Because dudes also have mouths. Yeah. Gay dudes blow each other, too. Is that gay now? And then I knew some guy who would never do anal

because he's like, apparently you can get shit in your dick. Oh, sorry, but I'm dropping the shit. poop. I'm done talking about poop. Which is, it depends on her diet. Yeah, I don't know about any of this. Well, I do. It depends on his diet. I mean, her diet.

I think, oh, we're almost there. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, we're there. Anything you want to promote? Your boy packs on Spotify, follow me on Instagram. If you're in L.A., come out to Love Supreme in Ontario.

That's our DIY, residency, we do music and stuff like that, crazy beat makers, experimental music, and, you know, people smoking weed and hanging out and listening to good music. So if you're out in L.A., let me know, hit me up. You know, if you want to see some cool shows and stuff like that or comedy, I'll point you in the right direction. We got friends out there, five minutes from my house. You got to come out to do only friends. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Gordon's thing. Yeah, yeah. It's hilarious. Dan was out. So yeah, yeah. Yeah, that's it. That's all I have to run.