Morning Good - The Old Harlem Red Lobster Clean Open Mic - Episode 84

Episode Date: May 31, 2022

Thanks to Derick and Lawrence for coming back on the show. Check them out and give them a follow for more info on shows in NYC and other dates on the road. You can find Lawrence on Instagram @lawrencereese__ and Derick @officiallyderickgonzalez.As always, find Michael Good on Instagram @michael_good1125 and on Twitter @agoodmichaelThis podcast was produced by Paxton Fleming, you can find him on Instagram @yaboypax 

Thanks for the F-Shack. Love dirty Mike and the boys. Hey, are you dirty Mike and the boys? How you know who we are? What's this? They called the podcast? Morning. I love that.

Yeah, it's me with the boner on the front. Welcome to morning. Yeah, but it's also like, by the way, we're here with Lawrence Reese. Yes, sir. And Derek Gonzalez. What's up? Well, that's the thing. It's like, I don't know, the nun's smoking.

I feel like it all those, like, funny and not, like, Like, there'd be somebody who's, like, Catholic. But it's like you have culture. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's like culture in a way. Yeah, it's like a girl's, like, the whole thing is like girl stuff. It's the- Depends on what you're applying for. Yeah, it's true.

If you're applying for power, I feel like this shouldn't fuck you up at all. No, they'll be like, oh, you actually care. But a firm? Maybe. Yeah, yeah. But all it takes, like, one person to be like... This isn't company of puppy. That is true.

We were just talking about that because we were talking about HR videos and how funny that shit is. Oh, yeah, that shit is. What you mean HR video? It's always like somebody says like a racial joke or something like that in the office. And then they're like, who did the wrong thing in the situation? Like actually everybody did because they were all involved. There's always got to be that one person that gets kicked out. But all right, we're all good.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. The rest of it was good. Someone has to take the bigger blood of the blame. Yeah, yeah. So that's the only reason like they're like, I feel like the office has definitely ruined how people look at HR. Yeah, yeah, yeah, everybody's like fuck it. Well, it's also like, like, there is like a line.

Like, I get it. Sometimes in the video, there's somebody that's like over the top. I was telling you they're like, that Indian chick smells bad. You know, you're like, all right, well, obviously, like... That's why I feel like people working from home definitely helped a lot of HR people. Oh, yeah, dude, because they're like... You can't sex, you harass someone if you're in your own house.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. And everyone's just doing what... You're more comfortable when you're in your own house. Oh, 100%. Also, you're really relaxed. Dude, at my old job, I literally would fucking... There'd be a work meeting. I put my laptop in the other room.

Yeah. Put it on and just jerk off completely. And they just go... And you can never really do that in office. I feel that way, too. There's a lot of comics that say when they worked from home, they was like, wearing no clothes.

Oh, yeah. I was comfortable. And all I had to do is open my laptop and I was at work. Yeah, dude, it's the best thing in the world. Now you're happy with your boss and you don't care about these employees you're around.

Because you don't have to... And you're making the same amount of money anyway. Yeah, yeah, and you're not paying for the train. Yeah. Exactly. But you're traveling to go see people that you don't fuck with. I feel like the travel part is always the worst part of any job. Yeah, it's because you're in the morning and you're on the fucking train. Yeah, get up.

That get up part is the hardest part. Yeah, once you're in the office, if you can just wake up and be in the If you could just roll over and open up a laptop, I feel like you're good. Yeah, yeah. And what I would do is I'd like wake up. I'd like eat like a cliff bar, take an Adderall and then just lay in bed like with my eyes kind of open. And then I'd slowly start to kick in. And then they start speeding up.

Yeah, yeah. You don't understand why they brought them back? Like, why would they put people back in offices? Because of taxes or some shit. Yeah, but you don't have to pay for that building now because people are at home. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Well, it's going back before. At first they were like, we need everybody in the office.

Yeah. And now they're like, oh, we're paying a lot for rent. You can do both. You could do both. So they try to switch on and off and shit like that. Well, it would be funny if somebody was like during work on the laptop and they got evicted. Oh, yeah.

Doing laptops, like, why is your furniture moving? Just slowly, fucking. Guys, minor technical difficulties. Yeah. It's like, can I come back to the office now? And like, no. I need the office space for other reasons now. No.

My girlfriend worked from home. She has had video FaceTime. And sometimes as I won't know, she's on face time, and I walk, like, ass naked through it. And I almost get caught in it. It's like, dude, I don't give a fuck. Honestly, like, these windows are up and I'm like, I don't really. Judge you on what you that's like? What do you mean?

Like, during the, she's like, who the fuck is that? Yeah, she's like, you're banging somebody with a small dick. He's so pale. You can do better than that. You're working at a good company. But he looks like a Michael. Imagine you're fired for your spouse or the person to get a relationship. But that's crazy.

Yeah, well, that's the problem. It's like, I have to like, I have to lie, like, like, to her. boss because like I'm at I'm at fucking home all the time so I'm basically at the same job as my girlfriend because I don't have a fucking job right now so you're doing like the work she doesn't want to do she'd be like yo can you just do these numbers

yeah yeah she'll be like what I happen is like she'll go clean the dishes wearing a fucking apron but it'll be like I had a job opportunity and I got fired again from that because my podcast I already talked about it but I already told her boss

she's like yeah Michael's got a great job lined up it's awesome all this stuff and then the next day I'm just like sitting on the couch because I got fired. He's like, Michael, how's the job going? It's going.

It's going. It's going. It's gone, actually. It's gone. She was so funny to hear her just like live for me. She's like, actually, it was below his pay grade.

And I'm like, no, I'll take fucking anything. That's why Michael be working his ass on when he barking outside. Yeah, yeah. No, I'm like, I need to. I'm like, choke somebody up the other night. He did. He was somebody looking at my like,

free comedy show. No, no. Free commie show. You're fucking coming. You're gonna be here. You need to pay rent. You're gonna like these drinks. Sir.

Dude, I saw the crazy shit. There was this one homeless guy. He was super nice to me all the time. And I just saw him. Saw him a week ago. Saw him this week? No leg. Just no leg at all.

Are you talking about? So, yeah, legs before. Full leg. Full leg. Leg guy. Big legs. Big leg. Great leg.

Tall legs. Yeah, amazing. Just got enough. I feel like Trump. I'm like Trump. Trump sucks. Yeah. The legs were so good

The legs were fantastic They're like So now he has one leg Dude yeah And it is like At first I was like Oh look at this guy Pulling the whole missing leg trick

And I looked at the nub And it's got stitches and shit I was like Not even a fess Like FXR What is the way you lose That fast? I was about to ask him

You shouldn't bro Yeah I'm gonna ask him like tomorrow Car crash But why would he be in a car Because you guys are cool right Yeah you cool with him Maybe the cancer caught up to him Yeah I don't know

Dude it was like I'm sure it got You know what it could be? You know, just lose a leg? Yeah, he probably owed somebody money. Yeah. You think it was that serious? Yeah.

Dude, yeah. It'd be like that sometimes. Because I feel like they want like, I don't know, I see him being the like, like, I always see them with like the drug dealers just being, getting yelling at each other because it's always just like, oh. Okay, he owed money in the street. Yeah. Which I don't know why you'd ever lend a homeless guy drugs.

I'm sure he'll pay me back. Like that's the fucking way. He's a good guy. He has great character. 20 years later. Yeah, yeah. You can know. You're not getting any of that.

Would you give up your leg to pay someone back? you had no money? Yeah. Well, what's the other option? I don't know. That's up to you. You're usually asking if I don't want a leg. I want a leg.

Basically he just said, like, you could pay them back with your leg or you don't have to pay them at all. My leg is, I don't know. What do you even do with the leg, though? Because I feel my leg's expensive, but like, I'm honestly, I'm at the bone marrow. You can sell the bone marrow.

How much you think your leg is worse? Why don't you? I think it's worth, like, almost nothing. A weight leg, definitely not. Nah, it depends. Let's see. Because on the black market, a heart is worth a million. So let's start with that.

Okay, a heart's worth a million. But here's the thing, you get. Melanin is worth more than a million. Really? If you took black skin off of a person, it's worth more than a million. You almost had me. I would be worried about that. Of course.

If I were you, I'm not, I'm like, oh, okay, for me, I'm like, oh, I don't think anyone wants to be white. Not right now, right now. 20 years ago, white was like a higher price. Someone's doing a face off of black skin? Yeah. I don't think anyone's ever wanted to be white. I just think white was just at a higher value.

Right. Well, Michael Jackson, the one guy, maybe. Yeah, but his skin was bad. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It was going white regardless. What was it? Yeah. Yeah, yeah, you did, but you didn't finish it.

You didn't finish it. You didn't finish it first time. You didn't have faith in myself to say. I didn't have faith in myself to say it. But I did. I did, I was just like, just push this show. I don't like how Derek does me because he can't say words like that with you.

I didn't say mad words, No, you don't. Yes, I do. No, you do. I'll say words out stare at somebody. I'll be like, I use that correctly, right? I say shit all the time. There was one the other day, like, voluptuous.

That means, like, good. Yeah, it's like, good. I used it in the right context for my job. Nothing worse than that person in the group chat that always got misspelled someone. Oh, that's me, dude. I'm a missol the guy, too. Dude, and I'll send it and I'll be like, eh, they know what I'm talking about. Yeah, every time.

But then there's that other person, they got to, like, make sure it's the right word. Because I'll be having a good roast. You're like, oh, bro, fan. You know what I'm talking about. That's Graham Cooper in this group chat. You'll be the one that's like actually. That's climbing in ours. Yeah.

Yeah. It's always like that because he's some educated. Yeah. Yeah. Who gives the fuck. You know what I'm talking about. But like it does fuck up a roast or you like misspell a word. Oh, dude.

Or the grammar slightly off. I have so many jokes. You're like, you fucking idiot. Listen, outside and a roast, you mess up on anything if the roast is over. Yeah. You can't get it back. Voice crack. You're done.

But it's all the word. Stutter? Yeah. My brother had that would be one time. He was taking fun of me. I was like, why can't I hang out with you and your friends? He's like, because you have a vagina. I'm like, oh, yeah, I do.

I have a what? Is that bad no more, fam? It's over. No, but that's, but like, but in a group chat, someone fucks up that. It's a joke. Everybody could jump in on that. Oh, yeah. Outdoors is, like, it stops.

The rest of the time period. Exactly. So then you just leave the group chat and come back with the, when they're talking about other shit. Yeah, yeah. Mm, I love a group chat. Dude, it's so much fun. We have, we have one guy in our group chat who,

I'm not going to get in a specific because I can't leave. Of course, He's in jail, but he's still in the group chat. I'm like, is he still getting these messages? Hilarious? Yeah, I was like, is there like a prison guard? It's like, yo, your boy's got some good memes. He's like, wild into that.

That'd be hilarious if you're actually in the cell and the cops is reading you the group chat. Yeah, yeah. He's like, oh, you were guilty. Yeah, they're going off from you, son. They're going off for you right now. That's what the NSA be doing. Oh, God. Oh, yeah, they're so.

My buddy, you, my buddy used to call me on the phone all the time, and he'd be like, hey, how's it going, man. By the way, I'm going to kill the president. I'm going to kill the president today. And I'm like, don't fucking say that. I'm that guy in the chat. Allegedly. Allegedly.

That's a little sound, a little bit for you right there. Allegedly shit. Let them know, yeah. Yes. But he would be like, hey, it would be like the most basic conversation back. You want to, should I grab a six pack of beers? Like, yeah. And also, I'm going to kill President Barack Obama today.

Don't say that shit. Don't say that shit. But at day, they probably sell. They're like, all right, this guy's in fucking suburban Florida. There's no way he's kidding. I forgot what I was talking to last night. They were like, I hope Obama comes back. I'm like, why?

Obama's having a time of his life right now. Yeah, he's done. He made a statement. He's living it up, bro. One thing I will say, I felt like when Obama was president, I felt like people felt better about race relations. Like, although things may not been... Because he was black?

Yeah, I felt like... It felt like things were moving in a good direction. And then Trump became president, and then immediately people like... People started looking at guys like me, and they're like, ah, you're probably a piece of shit. Yeah. Even though I'd rather have Trump as president than Biden.

Yeah. It's a tough one. It is. Because Biden literally doesn't do shit. Doesn't do shit. At least, like, if you're gonna have a fuck... Would you rather a fucked-up person with no character or fuck that person with character?

It's tough. But also, like, I think Biden's probably a great... He seems like a good guy. I think he just... No idea what the fuck's going on. Yeah. But I feel like it's probably... I mean, we just...

Kamala's just president, right? Isn't that basically what it is? Yeah, but she gets no blame. Yeah, yeah. That's kind of a good move. You get to make all the move and be like, hey, is this fucking retard. And we don't like her either because, you know, she put a lot of people in prison for marijuana.

Yeah. We don't like her either. So, like, who would you give the blame to? Yeah. Who's next? Who is the next option for me? Yeah. A woman.

I don't think anybody. It goes out of secretary of state. And then we don't even know who the fuck that is. I'm talking about the next person. No one knows who that. But after this term, who's the next president to be president? We don't know if it's going to be. The rock, nigga?

I'd be cool that. That'd be. The rock? More celebrities. Celebrity presidents? Nice. I don't want to hear how the rock feels about, like. Global warming.

He would just be positive. He would be like, listen, I know we got bombed today. but I know we're gonna get through this guy. Guys, we'll just do, like, Jabronis just do like five good push-ups. You know what I'm sad. The rock went to fucking China and had an argument with this thing

and then hell of nowhere, a rock bottom. Wait, what happened? Like, if he just went to the fucking other countries and just rock bottle of the nigga because they didn't agree with each other? Yeah, yeah.

That's the best way this-in-lawful. He's like a cool-looking leader. Like, he's so huge. Now, and then two years in that term, you can be like, I don't like them at all. Yeah. He went down.

Well, it's always like somebody you like, and then they'd end up doing bad shit. I think it was the same with Obama's like, oh, we're excited for this. And then he, like, bombed some wedding. And then he, like, bomb some wedding. Put some children in cages. Like, it's a whole part of it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But I never know.

I don't know. I don't even know what the president really does. So it's hard for me to be like, fuck this person. Because I'm like, there's always. Not anymore. Like the president, you used to know, like. Yeah. Probably like 2000, right, right, like, probably Obama-ish.

You're like, Bush was definitely like, you know what the president does. But then Obama is just like, you. We kind of know what he does, but, like, now you're more accustomed to, like, knowing what laws are being passed or some shit. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Because we have more than information shit. Crazy. Yeah. Now it's, like, now every other thing to, like, law 4302 is getting overturned.

And these motherfuckles on Twitter no more than the president do. We might have all this education, like, all this knowledge of shit now because of, like, the internet. But I still feel probably just as dumb before. Like, the fact that we have it all. But we can't fucking. Yeah. Also, like, I feel like issues were simpler. Because it used to be like I was like gay marriage, legalized marijuana.

I was like, hey, let them suck dick. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And let them fucking dick a joke. But not in the parking lot, shot. I was talking about what he said was like, it was so weird what he said because it was like technically homoph, but it was more like just a weird thing to say. He's like, my fans don't have AIDS. I'm like, that's not technically homophobic. He said my gay friends.

It's like a father, but like, don't suck dick in my house. Yeah. That means I love you, but not enough for you to do that much. Yeah. It's also like if you had a daughter you'd be like don't suck dick in my house. Yeah, but it's also a weird thing to say at a concert that's outside. Yeah, yeah. Who is actually sucking dick in the parking?

Yeah, yeah. Somebody else, somebody was, oh, somebody was like, stop it, stop, stop. The baby's talking. The baby's talking. The baby's talking. The baby has some things to say. Oh my God. I do respect how like he, he fucking is who he says he.

You know what I mean? I'll give you that. Didn't he shoot somebody like a week ago? No. He had resurface video. That's all-surfed his video. Oh, okay. He killed a dude in, like, 2017 for trying to kill him.

And then everybody's just like, oh, yeah, he didn't insult the fence, blah, blah, blah, blah. But then they see the video. It looks like that nigga just went, bah. And just shot him. Well, no, no, no, there's something different. Somebody broke into his house and he shot somebody. Oh, that's a different one. But there's many, he just shot the guy.

Anybody breaking my house, especially when you live in South Carolina. No, no, I agree. Like, I'm not. I'm not opposed to it at all. I'm not like, I'm like, yo, I'm glad there's actually somebody who's like. Shoot a nigga, bro. Yeah. Big ass crib.

How did you even get in here? Yeah, yeah. That's a fact. You jumped my fence and you think you're not going to get shot? If I'm not going to do it, someone else will. You think MacLamore is going to shoot? You know what I mean?

That's why I'm glad that fucking the baby exists. The funniest shit was the phone call where the dude was crying in the background. I wasn't here about that. What happened? The dude was crying in the background because he got shot while he was, the baby was calling the cops telling someone

is a brother on my property. Yeah. So he's talking to the cops. And he was crying in the background, bro. Like. Why would you shoot me? broken to my house. And then the baby's trying to use like sophisticated words to tell the cops that he got,

he's like, I have the dude unarmed. I have apprehended. I have apprehended. I have apprehended the trespasser. Hey, niggins that's not what you want to say. You want to shoot. You shot this thing. But when you talk to the police, you do change the vocabulary.

You got to use certain words. You got to make it bigger. You got to make it bigger when you talk to police. Got you certain words because they use certain words to get you caught up. Exactly. So I'm like, yo, this is, I've read the law book. I'm like, yo, I'm using these words. That's it.

fucking yo that shit don't work anymore now for rappers no just in general rappers yeah yeah because they use their music against them bro you know about the racketeering oh ys L baby YSL what's young thug and all of them about to get caught up yeah wasn't there's like some drug trafficking thing no it's it's the rickle charge and it covers a lot and conspiracy is probably the most the healthiest charge you could get the deadliest it's like guilty by association right no conspiracy is by association but But conspiracy and Rico is connected each other. You don't get one without the other.

Of course. Rico Char is made, and conspiracy is basically saying that if you knew about something or you were affiliated with something, that mean you were a part of something. Yeah. Well, then I am guilty of some shit. That's why people don't claim gang if you're not going to do it. Right. Exactly.

Because it's say, like, if debt, I don't want to put the my name in, it's say random person was doing something. The niggins said dead. And then I was like, this, nigger. I was like, it says somebody was doing it. something and then you happen to be friends with them and then they throw up a gang and then you say, yeah, that's my boy gang gang. They're like, oh, now you're guilty about you.

That's your boy, huh? You come with him then. Yeah, yeah. You come with them then. Yeah. It's crazy. That's that whole regattarian. And then the hardest thing about it is when you're in that shit with it, you say it's

not you, that means you're snitching. Yeah. You say it's not shit. I mean, somebody in this crew did it. Yeah. Right. So you still like, you're still not putting the blame on your, you're not. Like either you put the blame on yourself and like maybe it gets less, but it's probably not.

That's going to be so hard if you have tattoos though. You're like, I'm part of this gang. You're like, I'm not involved. That's why back in the day they didn't get tattoos because that's how you get caught up in your crime. Exactly. James, you don't have tattoos for a reason. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I remember he's just like, I don't do.

Like, I'm not a Crip, it just says Crip right on your forehead. That's why I never, that's why I always stay on state. I was like, I never understood why gang members wear band colors. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Because you're letting people know that you're associate. Oh, yeah, yeah, it's probably way harder, yeah. When you want to kill a nigga and then have a jean jacket on? Yeah.

Why would you want to wear a full red outfit on you? You're like, I'm not gang. Bring up the picture in the corner of it. So, you're not, huh? You know what? There's probably a lot of friendly fire that happened. Oh, my God. Dude, you're some guy who's wearing a blue shirt.

Like, isn't that a thing where people, like, in rough neighbors could be wearing the wrong shirt and they think you're part of a different game? I think that's more west coast than East Coast. Also, it happened a little bit back of the day. West Coast did way more serious than East Coast, too. Yeah, I used to watch Gangland That's a fun That's true

He played guilty to his But he only had one count Yeah, so he probably He's good He's not going to do that much time Young Thug is the problem He got it Well, they didn't bring nothing up on Jeffrey

Yeah Jeffrey got something Is Young Thug Is he the one that sings That Volcano song Which one to sing it? Volcano Yeah

That's something about that That was good That was Jeffrey I couldn't I couldn't understand That Gunner's real name is crazy What is it?

Sergio Kitchens. What the fuck type of name is that, Nick? That's why some of these people We have the hardest fucking names Because they names is trash, bro. But back of the day, niggas would have the softest name And he was the gangsters.

That's true. Like Cornelius. Cornelius or a gangst named Pinky. That thing is going to murder you, bro. Oh, that's softy over there. Yeah, right. What the fuck? Or Mother Deer, as though.

What's his name was talking about on the last episode? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Mother dear, yeah, it is bored. Free YSel, they didn't do shit. I ain't doing that, me. You're going to get caught with some complete. I'm not going to get a conspiracy over here.

We've heard the Michael Good podcast. This podcast is getting everybody in trouble. It's getting me fired. You're already thrown to jail. Everybody's fucked. I don't want to go to jail. Yeah, I had a friend. I remember I was one friend in high school when his dad was in jail and he's like,

dude, I want to go to jail so bad. I'm like, why would you? I don't know. I don't know. I want to be the mom. Yeah, I'm like, dude, that is not... What if he just gets to Dale? His dad's like, I fucking hate you.

He's like, yeah, imagine his dad made him his bitch. Oh, God, yeah. So the dad's just like, fuck a kid over here, bitch. He's just like, yo, I'm doing this for your safety. As someone that has been arrested before, when you go visit your dad, it's worse than actually being in prison. Because they search you like a motherfucker.

Oh, yeah. Oh, really? Yeah, because they feel like you're going to... Try to sneak shit in. Bring shit to them shit. Yeah, yeah. I've only called my friend. Put loosey cigarettes in your butt or something. That shit.

It's way. of getting shit into people. There's so many ways. They watch, they only let inmates kiss their wives like that because you could you could put smooth shit from your mouth. She could pass it to them that way. You could do a razor blade from the mouth to him. Uh-huh.

Because he could be like, yo, this... Get drugs to them, get all that type of shit. All you have to, like, just have it, like, little wrapped up. I remember when we went one time and my nephews were real, real young, my mom, she couldn't even have, like, the milk in, like, a bottle. She had to put in a plastic bag, because they were, like, the bottle, could be container something. Oh shit.

That's how crazy it is. And they had like a restrict outfit. Like he's like you can't wear blue jeans. Like what the fuck blue jeans? You gotta do anything. Nah, you get to trigger something in there. They were like, is that a nigga wearing blue jeans? Well, I also like, I have like female friends

about to visit people in jail and that, those rules are so strict because they can't dress like slutty because they can't get them horned up. Yeah, because then they're going to fight everybody. Yeah. Yeah. They're going to go crazy in the back. Yeah. If my girls showed a slight.

sense of ariola if I was in prison. I'm fighting it. It's just like, you know the dress coat. It's just hijabs only. It's just crazy in there. Hajabies. Bauska boy. That's going to be tough in the summer. A job in the summer. Oh, yeah. How dedicated are you?

To be fair, the Middle East is warm itself. You can probably handle New York City. Damn, I had a racist ass thought, bro. Say it. Just wasn't funny. What kind of. I will say I remember one time. Time stamp 21.

21. I do remember seeing an article of a woman in Middle Easter getting five years in jail because she tried to fight for the rights to get driving. Yeah. That's hilarious, nigga. How funny it would be if they, if they start driving, they're like, oh, I hate this shit. Why do we fucking... I don't want to drive.

That would be funny if they're like, you want to drive some bad, all right, drive us to America? You know what's crazy? It's also driving is a bitch move. I don't want to drive anywhere. So it's kind of weird they don't like, I would only have women drive. Wouldn't it be funny of men back and they try to fight the cook?

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. You're like, it's a bad. I can cook too, we'll do it. I'm gonna add some spices and shit. Gee, I got cooked for all of you. But you know what's fucked up wearing a hijab and then trying to like, like stay focus while driving. It's basically like you're already squinting

with the hijab arm. So now you have to force your eyes open like a motherfucker. Unless you got like mirrors on the side. You have to do something. I will say, Middle Eastern business is be built very, very good. They're fucking. Oh, yeah.

They be hiding that body. Well, that was also, I didn't see anything that in Florida until I got to New York. I was like, oh, there was some really hot Middle East. Yeah. And I'll be, well, bug me out, I'll be seeing something. And they'd be having a shoe game. Oh, yeah. Oh, dude, that's so a thing.

Yeah. It'll be hijab and then like some sweet-jia. Yup. Yeah. I see a bitch with phone piles on. I said, I was like, yo. I swear the guy, when I went to BMCC, I saw a girl with Yeezys on. Oh, my God, bro.

She had some yezies on and wearing the whole hijack. And they got the shit's tied, right? Like, they got the shoe laces on tie. Who taught these things? And you know what's the crazy thing, bro? The crazy thing is, and the religion, if someone dies, they have to wear all black hijab for a year. So basically they're not spending money on clothing like that.

So they get to spend money on shoes and all the other shit. So you'd be like waiting for your... Which one's hijab and which one's Berka? I don't know. I don't know. I think Berka's the one that doesn't cover your face. So the one looks for more telotel. I know it's fucked up.

Yeah. Tiki wiki. I see you. There's... Whenever you have just your face showing, it just looks like, I just think of Telatubis, I don't know. Hmm. I don't know.

But I do remember when Nike got in trouble for doing the hijab. Really? Yeah, but they had made like an athletic wear hijab. And they were like, oh, you're pandering. They were like, nah, I think, well, Nike makes the best shit. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Why wouldn't you want a Nike? You know how hype they were when they got polyethamine?

Oh, my God. Jabs? Yeah, yeah. It's crazy. It is kind of pandering, though. It is, but, like, lokey. I'm like, bitch you want the swishish. too. Yeah. Of course.

When you want that shit? You know you can be talking shit when you get it. Like there's the silk hijab and then there's a one with the switch. You still got the homemade, huh? Yeah. But there's also got to be hard to play sports like in that's why they made it like a, it was like a, you know, like when you were a ski mask? Yeah. Yeah. In a way.

I love that shit. Yeah. That's the thing is I'll never stop asking questions. That all religious stuff. I'm always going to be like, what's going on with that? I didn't grow up religious. I don't know. I grew up really but I'm always going to be like, what's up with the Jewish hats? I'm not like insult. I'm just, it's funny to me. It looks different. And I'm like, I'm not like you guys are, yeah, I want to know.

Yeah, I'll make a joke and then ask questions. Yeah. Will I do research? No, I'll joke about it on my podcast. Tell me. Just give me the details. Yeah, yeah. I don't know.

Man. Yeah, those, because I still like, I don't know why I still, I, like, the Hasidic thing is interesting to me too, you know. They go hard. Yeah, they get each other. Yeah. Jews hate Hasidic Jews. Yeah, yeah, dude. Every Jewish guy I know.

I don't know. I didn't know who that. They're like the fucking. They're like the fucking ascetics with their fucking... You know what it is? It's like growing up Christian, and then you see like the... The fake evangelicals... Oh, they piss me off too.

Evangelicals give me something. And you're like, oh, you guys are representing us very badly. And so it's like... Well, it's levels of everything, though. Yeah, yeah. I'm pretty sure there's a homeless dude. That's just another homeless dude for having less money than he does. Oh, dude, I saw that.

There's one homeless guy, and he always talk. He's like, dude, I got to fucking rob somebody. It sucks him out here. This is so stupid. And there'd be another home because it's... that guy on his fucking drugs what I fucking lose I'm like, you guys, it's levels. I was seen one time

where it was a homeless dude, I was just watching. Homeless dude talking to the girl that was homeless. She left him to go sit next to another homeless dude. I was like the nerve. Yeah, yeah. She's got $4 over there. Oh, you guys, one train car. Yeah. You're thinking, what?

You drink a steel reserve. This guy's got by lights over here. I remember in school and he used to do shit like that. If you had a crayon pack Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. He wasn't shit, that nigga had a 64 crayon pack. Yeah, yeah, yeah. He was the guy.

It never ends. It's levels to whatever you doing. Because the thing is, yeah, the regular one, you'd be like, oh, but I want my blue bag. And they go with the 64, he's just like, go, take it. He's got colors that I didn't even know it was existed. Indigo? Nick, a mac and cheese orange, thing. That's no sense.

I was a kid eating the crayons, so. Eating the grounds? I wasn't right, yeah. Not literally eating them, but I was a dumbass kid. Yeah, he was the glue kid. Yeah, just eating the clip. All that put it on his hands and then starts peeling it. What I used to do is when I found out a hot glue gun, I was just started gluing stuff

for the table all the time. Like I take Kleenex, I put him like under the table and have it like come from there. Yo, I feel you went to a high, all right. So yeah, you, Florida, you had like home at them and shit like that. Like you had like wood shop. Uh, yeah. You had a workshop class. Because I never had woodshop in my school building.

They put woodshop class in my school building when I was a six grade. You're not going to get them fucking hammers. And they, they took that. They took that. rocks, yeah. We built that shit the fuck away. They took that shit the fuck away. Like, I don't know.

Some deaf guy went crazy probably. I'm pretty sure. Like, sixth grade I had, like, I remember walking into the building and they had the wood shop, like, built, like, a room. And it was just like, we don't go in there no more. I was like, come right, what the fuck?

You would never get them. The last time we did wood shop was we had the class build a wood door over the wood class and they would be going there. Final project. Why would you teach these kids how to hurt you? Yeah, yeah.

The thing is like, I always wanted to do it. Like, because I always watch TV. I'm just like, yo, I always see these kids in like rural towns and shit. They'd be like, I'm going to Woodshop. I'm going to Home Act. I got a mechanic class. Like, what the fuck? Well, the thing with a woodshop class, remember we had because it was like a, because

what's it called like an elective class? Like a class where it's not required. Like you got to tell you. Yeah. Those classes are always the funniest because those get the lot of kids that don't want to go to school. And it's the kids that you don't meet. Yeah, yeah. So it's always just like some nerdy guys.

Like today we're going to build a same. Fuck you, we're not gonna build a sailboat, bitch. You got the nerd and then you get the jock in the same elective. So you just see both worlds. Yeah. And there's that poor redneck kid that's in the fucking mechanic class. You got the bad bitch that don't know she bad. Yeah.

All of them in one class. That's what I'm telling you, I wanted to go to right high school son. I wanted to go to like those like fucking TV movie ones where that bitch will take the glasses off and now she's the prettiest bitch in the school. Like I always dreamt about that shit. We had a girl like that and now she's like doing like nude modeling. And I remember in high school, like this girl's hot. This girl's hot, and people are like, she's weird. I'm like, you're a fucking idiot, dude.

She's hot. I remember the first time. We had some bad bitches in our class, and this one girl had a sports bra on. Took her shirt over and it just sort of sports brawl during her cloud. Yeah, that she used to be the best part of being in high school. Oh, yeah. Italian bitch, too. Didn't know they got big ass tithies and you just get hyped up because you're like, yo, we got to go to gym.

And then back then they didn't know it wasn't like weird to do the look. Yeah, so they didn't know. They didn't know I was looking at them. Yeah, they were just like. you focus on your shit I'm like I'm focusing I remember the day I realized that girls could look at your tits the most disappointed day one of my girlfriend she's like not girl but like female friends she's like hey

you know what you can't tell you're looking at Bruce I was like no you can't she goes look at this yeah and I was like are you that's what it looks like when we're staring at your tits like yeah I'm like God I am so fucked oh yeah I'll be doing like this I go oh you got to do a little side moving you got there yeah I'm going bad for these kids though because like

they autistic that too but the shit we were doing oh they can't get over that yeah yeah They can't do that no more, bro. Because not everybody know about sexual harassment. Because there was not a thing back then, bro. We went to school at the right time.

Remember, yo, bro. Remember booty tag? Booty tag? What was Booty tag? You just tap booty tag? Yeah, did you play tag? We smack the shit out that ass. We play that game where you know that you pounded somebody,

you grab the fist? Yeah. If you did that, you could only undo your fist if you touched the girl's ass. I remember there was a day. That's crazy. We literally had titty Tuesday, son. Everybody knew about it. Girls would literally let people grab their titty.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. That was a thing. I remember sixth grade. My school was like one of the, yeah. You need the cops who could be like, hey, you're guilty of Titty Tuesday. What if this blows up on Twitter? These two rap scallions and they're fucking Republican friend. Dude, I was already talking about how like, like, how we are on a fucking field trip one time.

It was like seventh grade and somebody's like, I bet you won't whip your dick out. I fucking just windmill my dick on the fucking school. That was funny. And the teacher's like, oh, Michael. He's so funny. Such charisma Michael was That shit

I remember grab ass Grab ass was a thing And then I remember If you was the man in middle school You were just getting hugs From random bitches That's a fact That was a thing

There was a guy that always got hugs And then it was a nigga That was a huger And I was him Yeah I was like nah fan You're wilder My favorite

That you were talking about We had a pottery class And like everybody Everybody just kind of get high Before Yeah Because you just make stuff And I remember

I saw a prodig teacher one time. He's in the car by himself. Me and my buddy are driving to school. We see him go, we see him go, sniff his fingers and just have the grossest look in his face and he just drive to school. Where's the best-looker to see him go? Oh.

It was at a red light. You're just looking at somebody driving by. Oh, that's fucking great. It's great. In school with the electives, it'd be the most random electives that had the worst kids in it. Of course. Creator of writing the worst kids. That's what I do. My college degree is created in writing.

We didn't go anywhere. All of us are failures. We had culinary arts in our school. Literally the worst kids. All of us was bad. All of us smoked weed. All of us was just wild. But surprisingly, they made the best snacks.

Literally. I took culinary arts school because not only that I liked to cook and my dad cooked and I'm like, all that shit. But literally, like, we had, like, in our classroom was an actual, like, restaurant. Oh, really? So we would literally open it up at the same time as lunch. Wait, oh, shit.

Well, why didn't that be an issue? Because I feel like kids would be putting drugs in the food stuff. The kids couldn't go there. The teachers only could. Oh, okay. So, y'all was slaves for teachers? Kind of. That's crazy.

They were doing like catering and all that shit. They were teaching just working hard. But you wouldn't work the food that's being served to the kids. No, we had to make the food. But I feel like kids would put, nobody would like. No, it wasn't in the lunchroom. It was in our own classroom. Okay, I get what I said.

And like, you would, like, we put out a menu at the, like, once a week, put out of a menu. Okay. And the teachers, it brings people outside of school could come. inside eat that we made. I still feel like my teachers wouldn't trust me to give food to other people, though. That's just crazy. I'm surprised nothing that got E. coli or some shit.

We were really cooking shit up. Dude, somebody would put glass in it or something like that. Oh, no, we wasn't that crazy. Because we wanted to eat it too. Yeah. That's true. We was like, we was like, we made the best shit out. The craziest thing, you'd be like, yo, don't fuck this up for us. Because we want to eat crepes too. Yeah, we had all that shit. We had crepes.

We were making, like, potatoes and all that type of shit. Fry shrimp, all that shit. Man, I want to go back. I've fucking loved high school. It's so sad when you realize you're like, Oh, man, this was a gross. Only put electives. Fuck history, nigga. No, I was good at history, nigga.

I was... Yeah, but... I used to sleep in class. I used to sleep in class, and then the teacher, like, pointing me and I'll answer about Mesopotamia and everything. And then she'd be like, how do you know this? I'm like, bitch, I'm educated.

And I'll go back to sleep. That's how you fucking do it. I mean, my parents were definitely teaching me the right answers to history. Yeah. I don't believe in that white shit they tell you, you think? Yeah.

Oh, that was told me Malcolm X and all that bullshit. They never taught us that shit in school. Really? See, I actually... My school, for the most part, was progressive. The one thing I will say it was funny is, for most part, that we're teaching stuff that was like fucked up. We watched videos of, like, not videos of slavery.

They didn't have camera. I mean, they had, like, pictures. But the one thing that was fucked up is we had one history class. I've already said this on the podcast, but is, so, they had all these actors read historical documents. Yeah. And it was on the history channel. And they had a white guy read a slave narrative.

Dude, it was so, it was like, And then he was loud. And we're like, me and my friend are laughing. And our teacher's like, you think slavery is funny? I think it's funny. I think slavery is a choice. It was a hot day. And you're like, Jesus Christ.

And the moon was shining so bright upon my skin. That's the only thing the kids got on us now is so much shit that you can just look it up. Oh, yeah. You can just look it up. But they're still in no shit. I pulled that to one teacher. It was the most dumb thing to say. I was like, yo, it says acids, the strongest hallucinogenic.

Actually, it's DMT. And you're like, you're like, you're like a piece of shit. I also think these days, the teachers that teach the kids are like, closer to their age. That's true. Yeah, yeah, right? So they're probably doing the drugs that they can literally tell them.

They can be like, you don't want to do DMT on an empty stomach. Make sure you have someone close to you. Yeah, that was a fucking time. It was cool, man. The good thing about high school. A lot of comics are teachers,

so you know that's so much. Yeah, that's show for you. I know, I'm not going to say his name, but we'll be out at midnight show. He's like, I got to be up in like four hours. I know a bunch of comments. Yeah. And I was like, I love, hey, I'm like, you shouldn't be teaching.

You shouldn't be allowed around kids. Yeah, yeah. You shouldn't be allowed around kids. But it's also like a job that nobody wants to do. So it's like they have to take. And it also fits the coming schedule. Especially when in summertime, it's going to be the best time for them. Yeah.

Yeah, well, you don't work at all there. No. Is that? But even if you are in school, you only did it for like summer school, three hours. Even if you have, but like, that's if you want to do summer school. You don't have to do it. I'm about to become a teacher, y'all. I'm going to teach them kids.

You just got to go through the program shit to get it. You got to just get your fucking finger. You just got to get your fingerprinted. That's it. I remember when my friend was becoming a teacher. You got your fingerprinted? Yeah, you got to get fingerprint and all that other shit.

If you were to teach what grade? I don't want to go too high. This is a creepy question. Not intentionally. You can't be like seventh grade. I can't be like 12th because they're out to get out. I'm like, probably six because then like they still like

elementary school trained. Fuck that. Sixth graders are evil, nigga. That's the point. Two-grade of evil. I go fourth grade, fifth grade. And you just have to be evil to them, too. That's it.

Ah, fuck that, man. One of my teacher was so evil, like, he, oh, that nigga, he told me he was like, give me a PS2 if I get my grade up. What? Yeah. Come over and study with me. No. Fuck, you was right, but fuck.

I remember that shit that used to try to get us on with the pizza Friday shit. Oh, if everybody does well-old-old-old. Yeah, everybody gets older pizza. And then you get older than pizza was only like $10. Yeah, yeah. And you know what the trick is? They cut the slices even more thinner. Oh, my God.

Oh, that's the worst shit. Yeah, and depending on where you're at, the pizza is probably not even that good. You know, the sad part is, I felt for that for an open mic. The producers club used to have these open mics. And they'd be like, oh, it comes with, you paid $10, but you get pizza. And then it's dollar-slice pizza. So I'm like, wait a second. And then the slices are super thin.

But Sal, Alligator Lounge with that nigga, that shit fed us some days. Yeah, yeah, that was good. Allegan Lounge, you get that little mini pieces with a beer. I hate Algae Lounge. It fed you when you had no money. Yeah, that was my favorite. Someone told me Alvin was talking shit about me. Yeah, I'm friends.

I started to get really offended. They're like, yeah, we're going to people. And they go, because somebody goes, Michael, good. Man, that guy will eat fucking anything. I don't even mind that. I'm not really a disc because I've seen a lot of comics eat the most weirdest shit off the floor. Oh yeah, yeah. And a lot of comics are bisexual, so you will eat anything.

I saw, the wildest thing I saw the other day is, you know, you ever see like a cookie or like food that's stamped into the ground? Yeah. I saw a homeless guy. Scrape it out. And start eating the crumbs. And I was like, that is rough. That's, yeah, you're hungry. And you hungry. Yeah. But I'm like, I also want to explain to him like, dude, this is Medugel Street. Somebody will give you money. Just give it like two minutes. Literally. That's a fact. You're going to see somebody get knocked out. Yeah, yeah. And the money is gonna be falling on the floor.

Yeah, but I've also seen, I mean, one time I used to work at Cinebund on 42nd, right? Oh, I know exactly where that is. Yeah. Late night shit. Yeah. Yeah, that's what the crack is good. The crack-haired story. Right across the street from the porno shop.

Yep. This homest dude. I lived right by it. Oh, yeah, you did! Right next the street right by the little porn. Yep. And that little strip club in the spot. Mm-hmm.

This homeless dude, big dude, walks in there and just started a little. and just started eating shit out the trash can. My manager's like, yo, bro, you can't do it. He's like, nigga, I'm hungry. What's you going to do about it? My manager is like, and he swings on my manager. My manager ducks and he wants to go outside. I grab him, I'm like, don't fight that dude.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. He didn't got shit to lose, fam. Nothing. He didn't got shit. And then my manager goes, grabs the blade and goes outside. This dude, knock my manager out, fam. Dude, that's so shit. Knock them out, bro.

Oh, my God. And I gave him to do the cinnamon bun. I was like, you won. Yeah, yeah. I'm not gonna fight you You just beat this guy's ass I thought it's nothing to lose As a homest guy

If I win I get nothing Yeah yeah Well that's it people tell me all the time Except like some random rag Yeah You don't get a disease that didn't even come out yet Yeah give me everything in your pockets Alright three dollars

Yeah it's a plane ticket Yeah Where you going Yeah that area was great I used to live So I moved I used to live on 48th Which wasn't as bad But when I lived on 42nd

That was bad That part of Manhattan That people don't talk about Yeah Dude it was like It's a fucking shit It was a fun into my apartment of just like

the wildest people. And every drug to crack this, but they're fine. They're not, nobody's selling drugs wants any trouble because I don't want to get fucking arrested. It's the people,

it's the people they sell the drugs to you. Like, they'd be acting out. That ends tourists. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Tourists is too much.

But that's the shit, like, back in the day, Tom Square was literally the most dangerous part of New York. Yeah, and it still is dangerous if you just get caught. Bad fam? Oh, I was there.

I was there two days ago. I went to, I went to a strip club on Mother's Day. Oh, you told me. How was your mother's there? It was great. It was wonderful. How many mothers did you see in a strip club?

Like five. Nice. Just other people's moms just like. Strippers or just ran their mothers? Actually, other people's mothers. Yeah, just random people would go with their mom. I'm like, that's really weird to bring your mom to her. She's like, there's my baby getting the boner.

Yeah. See, you haven't changed. Honey, clean up yourself. You're looking on nasty. I would never go to a strip club. No, never. But I have picked my mom up from being drunk at a lounge. It's literally the funniest thing.

Yeah, drunk parents is always funny. Drunk parents are the funniest shit ever. I remember one time my dad. My dad got so drunk one time that he literally was on the floor in the house. Like, you know when they sketch out the sketch artist shit? You did that around him? He just did that. He was just like this.

I was like, your pops get up. He's like, I'm drunk. I was like, fam. I want to know what type of drunk parent I'm going to be. Like, that's shit going to be lit. I'm like knowing how type of a drunk person you are, it's going to be hilarious. I'm just going to hate that regret the next day. I'm like, ah, Jesus.

There's always a regret. Did I call my son a retard last night? I think I did. Like, I feel like the next day. He's out here and sobbing his, why the fuck that come fucking retar? The podcast guy is going to hear the story about Derek being drunk one time. He went in the Popeyes and yelled at them for not having fish.

Yeah, you're talking about it's the last time. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. He was just mad that they didn't have fish. No, they have shrimp. Shrimp. No, you went to fist. Either way, I got them. I got them last time.

Yeah, he was like, you got them out like they found it? No, like. I got them. I got the food. I told you. God damn, you caught me, but you caught me,

Derek. He just get chicken. It was five in the morning. He should be happy it would open. Yeah, I didn't even know it was five. And he was like,

where's the fish at? They were like, we don't have no one fish? Like, so y'all don't have fish. I didn't even know they serve fish there. Yeah, the last shit,

you don't know they said and stuff. I got old and realized they had po' boys. I didn't know they had po' boys. They got like funnel cake too? Funnel cake? What?

Yeah. Holy shit. No one was on that menu when they go to Popeye. They just think they just get the fucking chicken sandwich. As a kid, all I thought was the gig was the box. That's true. You get the box that's advertising the front. I like their biscuits.

That's good too. Yeah. But like when you get older. I like Bojangles better because they're... Bojangles is way better. Way better. Big ass ice tea. Oh my God.

They have Bojangles in New York? No. No. I've had Bojangles when I went to the South. You like... And in the airport one time. Yeah. It's like literally like North Carolina starts Bojangos.

Yeah, I've had it in D. Do you have Bojang in D.C.? D.C.? Yeah. Really? I was just out in D.C., my favorite joint slept on is Cains.

Cains. I'm into Cains. Cains is fire, bro, and I wish she would come to New York, bro. That's a West Coast thing. Yeah. Things will spread, though.

Like, the occasionally, like, I think there's, like, in-and-ounce opening in, like, Florida or some shit. But it's just the timing of it is always, like, some weird shit. Yeah, well, they didn't have Chick-Flan in New York for a while, right?

For a while. I remember they tried doing Carl's Jr. Carl Jr. They tried to work out. street and then it got shut down. And then they had, what's that other, other chicken spot? It's like the,

it's like a blue label. Ribbon? No, not that one. That's just, it sucks. Blue ribbon sucks. I think it related. But they,

they had one on 40 seconds and that shit got shut down. Some sort of, time squares just a gamble, right? It's a gamble. You know, you'll make your money, but it's not going to be clean.

Yeah. One thing that's definitely, like, always slitting. It was churches. Oh, yeah. Churches. Yeah. Churches.

That church is fired, bro. That biscuit, man. The one thing that's, certified in New York on 42nd is the red lobster will I've been to the one in Harlem that's the only red lobster

dude they used to have they used to have a mic yeah yeah yeah they could bomb your ass off in front of you eating good ass food yeah I remember it'd be clean but the DJ if you curse you'd be

whoa yeah he would get kicked out and he'd just go whoa he would just stop he would literally stop like stop it yeah because they had a speaker

on the outside so walking down the street you just hear there'd be nobody There's nobody there. It'd be nobody there. It'd be a comic and a people eating. Yeah. It's it. You'd be lucky if you got a crowd. When you got a crowd, you'd be like, yo, let me do this. I'm not, I'm not. One thing is like, yo, you're trying, but this biscuit is hidden.

I was like, I know. That's a good shit, thing. It's good shit. That's so fun. Yeah, there's lots of weird places that try it. Well, because, like, I'm surprised Red Lobster could do that. I'm surprised like corporate Red Lobster doesn't have, like a specific rule. Yeah. You know what I mean? Because normally, like, normally, open mics are like the manager is like, oh, yeah, well, we'll have. He don't even know what comedy is. Yeah. But it's just like, it's weird.

There's some places are just opening up in New York. Like, where did Krispy Kreme has come out of nowhere, bro? Yeah. Yeah, I was... Growing up, it was only one Krispy Kreme in New York. That was in 34th Street. That was like... Right on the next ground.

I don't know where it's everywhere. They literally can sell it in any store now. Yeah, they have a Krispy Kreme in the Bronx on Fordham Road. They got Krispy Kramer. But they can sell it in grocery stores. It's the donuts. Yeah. I walked in Walgreens.

They had that shit. Like, what the fuck? The jelly donuts not bad. It's like it's probably one of my favorite ones. Well, I've only had the powder donuts. I've seen the little ones. I've never seen the big ones. I always get glazed.

You know, when I go to, yeah, I normally get glazed in the store, but I've only seen on display like the small powder ones and like a bag. You're saying they have the glazed ones in the store now?

Yeah. I didn't know that. I think they got the crispy cream. They think they still might have the Krispy cream on 23rd Street. Okay. I think that one is there too. They definitely have a time square one.

Yeah, that's fine. And 28th. Have you had their milkshake? I was curious to try that. No. I'm not really a milkshake guy. I love milkshakes, bro. Johnny Rockets should be our favorite, but they don't have it.

They do have Johnny Rockets. I remember Johnny Rockets. Yeah. But they got Johnny Rockets in New York. No, not a Hoboken. They got one more light on a 40-second right. No, like 30 something in. Johnny Rockets.

Are you serious? Yeah. Well, I'm fucking going then. I didn't know that. I didn't know that. I remember the ticket to the back of the day, said. I remember I was in high school. I tipped one of the waiters at Johnny Rockets with a condom.

That's no. You know what I see condom? Oh my God. He didn't use a lot. use these, I have five kids. That's why I'm working Johnny Rogers. Johnny Rock was a shit, but one thing I used to hate, they love ketchup. See, I'm the opposite.

I love ketchup, so that's why I love Johnny Rockets. I'm a mustard guy. Bring me mustard, man. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You got to tell them they probably put too much on stuff. Yeah, but they're bringing the food out and they just have ketchup on the condiment. That was his name. Yeah, yeah.

Let me choose what I want. Yeah, I also wonder, like, is it always staying 50s or when they move? Like, because it seems like 50s diners, like the only theme place to go to. It's 34th and 8th between 8th and 7th. That's fine. It's open? Yeah, man. It must be new.

Yeah, man. Has always been there? I think this one must be new. I think they must have moved the other location, but this one's there. It's nice, bro. Looking good. That's better than good. Yeah, that was...

Probably going in the night, huh? Yeah, dude, I feel... I eat garbage. Like, I'm not changing it. Like, dude, I will... I have four meals a day. Never, you would never change it? Nah, I like eat.

Like, I'll exercise. I'm gonna do it off. What did you move into, it to, like, an island? I wouldn't do that You could eat garbage now Dude I would love to be a healthy Nicker but it's so much fun to have a French ride It's so much way more fun

Dude I'm like Oscar the Grouch Or fried fish Shove shit Yeah But I like I don't go crazy with it But I've had them days You ever have them days

We just go to multiple different fast food Yes dude all I have those days Every day Just go crazy Yeah Dude like I'll have fucking like Yeah chicken stamps and pop by

I'll get nuggets from Chick-fil-A Yes A little something Something for everywhere. Yeah. And like it always rounds up to like 25. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Firehouse Meets place. I'll have you have milkshakes sometimes because I'll be like, I'll have milkshake and pizza. That's good. You were a wild boy. No, I'm disgusted. You're a ninja turtle nigga? Yeah. Michaelangelo ass motherfucker.

Dude, I used to have, they had this restaurant called, what's it called? Fucking. It's not John Rock. It's a fucking burger place. It's themed the same way. What do you call it like a 50s theme? Burger joint? No, it's a steak and shake.

Staking shake. Yeah, yeah. I used to go there. I used to get so fucked up. I would do coke all night, and then my appetite would come back after doing it. Yeah. Yeah.

And then I would take my milkshake and I would pour it on my burger and eat a burger. Wow. What's wrong with you? A lot of shit, it's always, I can't even defend my actions. I'm like, that's disgusted.

Like, you were doing that made me think that you got molested. Like that was just like, oh, you good? I wonder that. Often. I'm like, there's something off about me.

I don't know what it is. Yeah. Mike is eating for the time. He wished he had. Yeah. Yo, he eats like those kids in the movie. The movie Hook? You know how hooked they'd be in bad.

Yeah. Imagine a whole point of food. Did you ever hear that story about Bobby Brown where he fried chicken and cocaine? No. That's a funny story. That's a little. He fried chicken.

He was so high on Coke that he had Coke. And then he was like, fuck this. I don't need the mixing. I'm just put chicken in Coke and fry it. He was like, it's the greatest shit of me. Oh, my God. He also kicked Jan Jackson out of his. rim of butt naked.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Legendary shit. That's how you do. Well, it's got to be weird eating coke because your mouth goes dumb and you can't taste the fucking thing else. I think he was on so much coke he couldn't tell.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. That's fucking wild. Yeah, I, uh, I eat fucking garbage all the time. What's your favorite meal you ever made? You ever got home and got creative because you were so high? Yeah, oh, dude, I was really drunk. We had like,

we had like a family house in Tennessee. Okay. It's like in the woods. And I started making peanut butter jelly hot dogs. That sounds. It's actually very good. It's not bad. Especially if the bread is toasted.

Yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah. It's like some KFC shit. Remember when they had the chicken sandwich with two glazed donuts? Yeah, that sounds awesome. They had that shit. We made that one time.

Me, my brother made that in the crib. We was like, we got two crispy cream donuts and we fried chicken. Because like chicken and water. Literally, I didn't want to go nowhere. I was like, I have everything I need here. Yeah, because you get the sweet and the savory. Yeah, my favorite shit to make when I'm high is nachos. Yeah, that's good.

Yeah, yeah. Love nachos. I can go with nachos. Nchos. Nchos is my favorite shit. Because it could be breakfast and dinner. Isn't it? I don't get.

I think it's just you doing that. You can have nachos for breakfast. You can't. It's got breakfast nachos. It's scrambled eggs, bacon. Oh, that actually sounds awesome. I know. And I like little potato wedge, like the little mini potato wood.

Yeah. Like the, mm. Wait, I forgot to ask you, so you totally off top. But you used to work in the Mirage, right? Yeah, Brooklyn Marage. Damn, I went there this weekend. I was it. I was it, man.

It's a big-ass space, right? Who did you go see? Some random guy. So what happens? My buddy was in town. We were supposed to go see a concert. concert, concert got canceled. So we started drinking at brunch.

We got here. I was like, I haven't canceled my shows like this in a while because I had a buddy in town. I'm going to hang with him while week. I haven't had a clear weekend. And I, from noon, just all night, so we started, we had brunch. We got fucked up. And then went to the Mirage at 4 o'clock to like a rate. Oh, no, first part is.

Yo, my buddy, he's really into like electronic music. And he goes, yo, we're going to hit up baby. He goes, he goes, bro, I got this underground rape. We're going to try to get in. And there was like, there was like. like a rainbow flag and I was like it's like a gay I'm like sure I'll check it out what's going on and we get there in the door there's a gay guy and like

and security guard and the gay guy looks us down and goes sorry guys it's full we're like we just looked at like we're like yeah no we get it it's probably like not for us anyways Brooklyn Mirage is a wild put I seen your schoolboy Q there once oh he's crazy he's fucking sick it was crazy but it was like we that was not the Mirage that was just like some random warehouse and it was like

it one of those like I know it was right it was right it was right it was something like It was definitely turns that street with all warehouses. Yes. I used to work. I know exactly. I used to work there too. There's nothing but Blitzwake raves down the street.

I hate that place. Yeah. I'm never saying so much Doc Martins on one block. Oh, yeah, yeah. And then we went from there and then we're like, all right, let's go to the Mirage. And we went, it was awesome, dude. But it was just wild because we were at 4 o'clock. And it was an all-ageous concert, which is weird.

I hate those. Yeah, because there's people with, like, their kids. When you see 16-year-olds. But then later in the night, the old. But there was also, like, children. Yeah, like toddlers. I was like, what? Why is their toddler here?

Yeah, but it was all these old househeads. So, like, the people that are like, they listen to EDM when they were a kid and did drugs, and then they just never stopped. Yeah. And they had kids and shit. Their baby has a mohawk. Yeah, yeah, shit like that. One of the dudes is fucking sick, though. I was like, damn, dude, this is good.

And then I saw, I'm not going to say who, but it was a comic who had a kid, and they made eye contact with me and immediately went away. Like, you know, when this shit is. I'll tell you who it was. But it's so funny because I was having the second time, I was like, And they just fucking looked away And I was like, oh, I know you're bringing your kid To a rave They at least have headphones on the kid

No, no Wow That kid's just listen Yeah, I can't I just fucking kids pop and Molly all right I remember just working those events And I'm just like looking at people Like bring their kids in

And I think the kid doesn't want to be here He wants to be in his fucking bed Yeah Yeah, like just chilling And you got to bring them to like a rave A 2 o'clock rave And then later in the night They slowly like fade out

But you can see their parent Kind of stay a little bit longer Like someone got the kid. Get a baby or just have a friend do it. You know what I mean? It's like everybody has a friend

that could just take care of the kid for like a couple hours while you go out of you. I remember there was this one comics. There's nothing worse. Even if you like going to raves, you don't want to go your fucking parents. I mean my mom used to...

Like, I don't even want to go to dance hall with my parents. I remember being younger and my mom used to like basically own a 7-11 and I had to be there all day with her. It was the worst. But the only thing good was I got

CERPies all day. Yeah. So that just made up for it. I couldn't imagine being at a raid with your parents. No, it's horrible. And you don't, like... Especially you got, like, a weird mom. She's, like, wearing, like, fucking pasties on her kids.

You see how your mom owned 7-Eleven? You got slurpees. What, you're going to give your kid fucking Molly? Yeah. We're like, yo, thanks for checking out. Chillin' me, bro. Yeah. Yeah.

It's a little... It's weird. It's weird. Yeah, I went to Bonner. You had that, too. People bring the kids in my key. It's just weird. Damn.

There's, like, naked people here. And you're, fuck... That's the weird thing about festivals, though, because some people just go there just to hang out. Yo, not even the like party. Some people are there to party. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And they literally just sit in the grass with a blanket.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's why Roos Picnic is probably the best place to go when you go on that type of stuff. Where? Where's Philly? They do the little shit, but it's like a, it's like the R&B music, so it's not going to make you want to do drugs. Right, right, right. You want you to chill. You probably going to drink a little bit.

It's like a picnic. Yeah, yeah. That's good. Like a day fest is good. Yeah, that's what I would do again. Fest was at night. Different story. Yeah.

Yeah. different. But I'm saying like one day long. Like I'm not doing like a fucking four day thing anymore. I don't like festivals, man. I remember I did like a fucking, it was at the Brooklyn Marage. Fucking, it was a Nike. It was like a Nike.

No, not Nike. Adidas sponsored shit. Oh, okay. And it was just wild. It was just a wild fucking night. I forgot who performed. It just was crazy. And then I just had to save some girl that was almost overdose on like ketamine.

That's the hard part about knowing if somebody's overdose like ketamine. Because the effects of ketamine are to look like your overdose. Yeah. to close your eyes and lay down, so you're like, I don't know if this is... I'll lift this 100 and, like, probably 20-pound wet girl just for fucking, fucking, you know, over my shoulder and my fucking short friend just like, yo, bro, go to the EMT that way you said that. Yeah.

You said 120-pound world. It's wet. I don't know. Maybe she was wet. I thought you were saying, like, she was fucking panties wet. She was fucking soaking. She was like, she was fucking soaking. I'm just like, you're not my problem. I walked away. I went to stop this girl at a house party. She was literally stuck on the floor outside the door, like on the steps leading to the house on a K-hole. And I literally was about to help her up, and then they were playing my favorite song. I was like, yo, I got to chill first.

And then I came back out to help her. She was going to be, okay. She's got a couple of days. You're playing biggie right now. I'm not better than biggie, bitch. I was going to mosh if I heard, got some holes. I'm like, I'm like, just start running over there. That's a weird part about Kedmi

Because I like it It's like alcohol It's like you can have a little bit of it And have a good time Or you can have too much of it And you're on the floor throwing up But that's the thing about Ketami Is like if you ever been to a house party

Ketami is out in the open Yeah Yeah Yeah It's not like cocaine Where everybody's hiding In the bathroom or something like that Well because I think less people want to do it

Because everybody wants to do it I say it on stage I'm like if you're brave enough to do ketamine Everyone should know who's on Ketami Yeah Because this one girl one time She's like I won't see nobody's name

But she works for MTV She literally spread it in half. It's like, this size of Cadamia, this size of Coke, choose what you want to mix those up. I was like, I don't want another of that. I don't want another of that shit. Especially because people get drunk and do coke to drive home, like less drunk. You don't want to have

two Cadabede and try to drive it. You're like, all right, they're going to be a lot. Yeah, but the thing about comedy is like, you meet people doing shit and they just everyone does parties. Yeah, yeah. Not everyone parties. It's a mix. I have a lot of friends. Everyone's over. They party did a different way. Everybody parties, though. I remember

we've hung out with teachers. Yeah, yeah. And then you think about when you were in school, like, oh, my teacher was a lot, was fucked up. Yeah, yeah. That's seven in the morning, too. Well, that job. Because you think about the days you're like, oh, why?

Like, she just seemed tired when we're watching the movie. Yeah. And we both, like, fuck teachers, too. So you, like, my teacher was sprung out over this one nigga, and then that's why his tree was longer. Exactly. That's when they pull in the Bill and I, the science guys coming up. You're like, that's a hungover teacher thing.

A little nature channel. Yeah, yeah. I think I talked to you about this. Like, one of my teachers was a comedian. Oh. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, so anytime she'll just be coming back and just saying... He bombed last night.

She was trying to work the new material on us. We're like, mm-hmm. Yeah, I wonder that. That's definitely a lot of comics that are teachers, like, working material on their kids. Oh, definitely. And kids are the hardest to make laugh. Oh, yeah, yeah, because they're like, that's not funny. Everything's gay and not funny.

You're your most honest when you're at a child and when you're old. Yeah, that's very true. So, like, he has no while to look on life yet, so he don't even know. know what's the line. Yeah, when you're old, you don't really care. You'd be like, I'm done saving people's feelings. I know somebody who would like, this guy had like a birthmark on his face where he's like purple. And so that guy goes, you look like fucking two face from Batman.

He's like, he's like, what? That's just, I don't think he said fuck him, but he's like, what? You look like two face from Batman. I wanted to fight with my nephews one time. He looked at me like, yo uncle, why you're your teeth ugly? I was like, nigga, why are you four years old? So we stay in facts. Yeah, right.

You just tell him he little business. That's a shit. my sister said my dad, she goes, am I going to be, she's like, am I going to be, uh, she had no idea that she wasn't, she thought she was made smaller than everybody. She had no idea. Like, I guess nobody explained to her that she was going to grow and randomly I think she was like, eight or something. She's like, yeah, why did God make me smaller

than all you guys? She just had no idea. Oh, she thought she was just there at that height. That's a beautiful kid. My brother told me, this is a prank, he goes, when I was like, I think eight, he goes, yeah, you know, after you turn eight, your dick just stays the same time your whole life. And I was like, are you fucking serious? I was so mad. I'm

I was like, fuck you. Just like so bad. Why won't you grow? Yeah, yeah. I was so bad. I was like, are you fucking my whole life? It's got to be this size. I'm eight years old.

I remember my dad once when I was like 13, called me jacking off. And he was like, what you gonna do with that little dick? You ain't doing nothing. I was like, I'll show him. I got caught like mid-clean up. So I'm like, clean up. It's still in my hand. I'm like, I'm like, I'm like,

It's lotion. I was rubbing on your face, I'm like, nah, that's gay mom. I'm at one time I fell asleep jacking in my mom in my room

and she just clicked my phone. Yo, dude, I know what you're like this. I was like this. I was worse, because I had headphones on and I was like this. You wouldn't ask me fuck.

Why you have headphones on? What's the... My parents were in the house? Nah, I don't go fuck. I keep that shit mad low. I go to the lowest. Yeah, but you have to go in between putting against your ear and then watch.

No, but like, no. That's the worst part. Yeah, you're like. I'm talking about that perfect bounce where like all like the clapping of the cheeks don't like echo through the house but the uh kind of fades into the into the night you know what I mean but are you want people that always like go lower go higher depending on the porn star yeah yeah of course sometimes you want to hear like the loudness so you go you go you know some point sort of be like me mill the value just go up but you're impressed up yeah yeah yeah I was like who's mixing this sound is my phone yeah Yeah, I'll mix it like that. I'll take the one porn star's moan and I'll put it over a different... No, I'm just kidding. Do you have like a...

Garage band, I go in there. Do you have like a number one porn star or your top one? Not really. Like, I'm like... It depends on the mood. I think Riley reads pretty hot, but I'm also a lot like... I don't be like... I don't know.

But I'm also like, like, I'm not like... I'm not like, oh, this is so-and-so. Like, I literally... I don't have a particular. I'm just like whatever's on. Shout out to... Shout out. Right now, it's probably Angela White.

Oh. Angel White. Isn't she like one from, she's British, right? I don't know what the fuck she is, but she could. Australia. I think she's Australian.

Yeah. I don't have a number one, but I do remember like, yeah, I don't either. I said, Rallieba. Lela Star?

She got a fake ass. She got a big fake ass. Oh, most porn star, though. Johnny Sins. I'm just kidding. His wife was bad, though. Who's his wife? Kaiser Sins.

Oh, I like that he did last name. There's no one. They're like, that's by legalized. And they do scenes and shit. That's cool. That's just love making them. I don't want to watch that.

I don't want to watch that bullshit. That's disgusting. That's disgusting. Keep what you doing your household in the house. Don't involve us. I mean, a lot of point stars and married point star. Yeah, but it is, it is like gross. Like, it's like, you know, and like your friends talking about banging his girlfriend.

You, I know her. Yeah. It makes it so much. Yeah. Yeah. But I'm pretty sure in that lifestyle, their friend is just as weird as they are. Oh, yeah. So it's like, I'm sure they're swapping all the time.

It's it. Who cares of shit? We are at an hour, though. Oh, man. What do you guys want to, want to promote anything? All right. I realize that I've been on this the most. Yeah, you have to start making some fake tour dates.

So, guys, let me go on my phone real quick. I'll be in Nashville on the 18th. You know what I was thinking? You could lie about opening for certain comedians and just random cities back. In Wichita, Kansas, I'm opening for Dave Chappelle. Exactly. Nobody. Nobody doing research like that.

But you look crazy if you did. Like, when they finally comes up and you start actually getting popular. Shout out of Shepel for beating that. Nicky ass, though. Facts. Oh, yeah, yeah. Oh, he didn't even talk about it. They tortured that nigga.

We didn't talk about Roe v. Wade, Chappelle gave his ass. Well, the problem is this is the way. So, guys, so many backlog episodes that this one's going to come out, like, my last episode, we were talking about, like, the subway shooter. And I'm like, God damn.

That came out yesterday. I was like, three months ago. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. All right, yeah, talk about Chappelle shit. That's the last shit we could talk about. All right. First of all, justified ass beaten. And also, who brings, like, a fake gun,

but a real knife? Yeah, no. Also, what security like at fucking venues like? It's wild. I found out the same security company that was on that show, same security that did Travis Scott's concert. And the same security that did the Las Vegas shooting in 2016. See?

So they're not good. Stop hiring. Yeah, that's a horrible fucking company. They have a bad track list. A horrible track record, yeah. Or if it's... So mass shooting. Yep.

Famous comedian getting fought on stage. And Travis Scott... That's like mob. People dying at those stuff. You know how, like, you ever post something? And then, like, I guarantee you the beginning of the concert, people took pictures and were, like, greatest night of my life. Oh, yeah. And they forgot it was on there.

And they're like, yeah. Yeah, but the thing is, like, if you really want to do some damage, then, like, just find out where they're, like, helping with the next event and be like, I'm about. I don't know where the fuck. Yeah, but they beat that in the ass for a good reason. Yeah, he had a big ass lump on his head. His elbow was twisted. The guy had, like, a song called Dave Chappelle, right? Or something like that.

Some shit. He had a Dave Chappelle song. You know he was a fan. All of those. I know Jamie Fox beat, I know Jamie Fox broke his arm. Jamie and Buster Rums. I know they broke his arm. The funny shit was like, first of all, it turned to a rap concert.

They beat that thing up like Wu-Ting. Second of all, Dave Chappelle was hilarious because he was not only was he bringing it back, he was like, hold up, I'm gonna go back and see what they're doing. And then he comes out, I was like, yo, Buster Rines, this taught me how to jump a niggie. The funniest part is like,

I've been through a comedy for over 30 years. I've been waiting my whole car. career to be in the gas. Dude, BusRabs is huge. He's a big dude. I've seen him in person. He's a huge. Oh, you saw him. He's talking about the stand. I saw him before that. I see him just randomly one time in New York. I just saw him like a revolt show once.

And saw him and A.S.F. He was like, he's giant. Bus is huge. You know who else is surprisingly huge? Jared fucking Leto. That guy's... Really? No, he's fucking...

Yeah. Because I've seen him too. I was like, what are you talking about? He was just like a Bushwick bitch. I was like, did I not see him that time I saw him? Because he was fucking tiny, bro. Dude, short, then, yeah. I wasn't mad that one time I missed Mike Tyson at the stand.

Yeah, that killed me. I looked on a little shit and he said, Mike Tyson here. We was at Pink, so he rushed there. And then they was like, no, Mike Tyson left for hour ago. I was like, fuck! Yeah, he stayed there for 10 minutes and dipped. And then this next day, he punched that guy, like, in the airplane. So he should have technically stayed a little bit more.

And then come to find that he's a friend of a friend of an o'neika. I'm like, oh, my. Oh, really? Yeah, that's how he got there. Huh. I know Matt Damon was there, too, but that's not as cool. Damon who? Matt Damon.

Oh, yeah. That's pretty fucking dope. He's pretty fucking dope. Yeah. Mike Tyson, though. Mike Tyson's letting him. Matt Damon's playing who Mike Tyson would actually be. Yeah.

He's playing the character. Well, speaking of playing. That's why Jamie Fox beat that nigga's ass so bad because he's training to be Mike Tyson in his biopic. Oh, yeah. So that's perfect. He's like, yeah. He's fucking getting ready to fucking...

And Jamie Fox is. Big as shit, low key Yeah, like, James Fox's like 6-2? Huh? Jim Fox's like 6-2 with there? He's a tall dude. He's a tall dude. They beat, they literally beat this dude's painting off his nails.

That's so funny when, like, you get past security and that security is not going to take you away from the people. Because they're like, oh, no, they're not going to, they're like, okay, do whatever you want with him. And then you also have this person's show where they love this person. So they want to see you get beat up. Dude, they could have just thrown him into the crowd. They had to beat this shit out of him.

They were to dog that guy. Yeah, yeah. They're gonna play Fuck the Club up. And that person would have... Oh, that person would have got fucked up. Fuck the club. That song makes you rhyme for my nigga staying down. You just play whatever you want...

There's certain songs you're just like, I'm gonna be ignorant. I like Get Merked. You know, that song about Just Juicy J. That song just goes so fucking hard. Days that I'd be filling down. I love watching, like, hip-hop fights. I like watching fight comps. Oh, those are late.

Fight comps. Oh, and homeless fights. I miss those errors. Lawrence has some crazy videos on his phone. Oh, yeah. Yeah, with the stabbing. Yes. He's like, yeah, you can't

You go, I mentioned it? Yeah, he goes, he goes, watch this video And he's like, it's like, this is some Cartel in like a Third World Country. I'm like, I'm sure it'll be like a blurry picture of like somebody. Yeah, it's the real shit. I was like, let me see what this is.

And then I look and I could almost 4G pixelated. I'm like, all right, it's too much, too much. I just saw somebody's head out before I get Chicago. I was at the house probably one time. It was after a comedy show and I literally traumatized someone there. I'm sure.

I didn't want to see. He literally got on his knees and pray. Like, stop showing me. Stop showing me. You probably show him when he's high, nigga. I showed him like 10,000. Yeah, while he was high, right? You're fucking asshole.

That's like CIA torture. Oh, it was so funny. Imagine trying to be in bliss, being high, and then this fucking motherfucker comes in here, showing you someone getting to capititated. It was, it was worse because my- He's like, we're all like little fabrics on a rug. And they're like, look at his head!

Look at it! Look at it! And then Miles was showing him another video would get his head blown off with a shot good. I actually liked that video. That one's good. That one's good. It was so funny.

That's just the internet, bro. It's like the crazy shit you see on there. That's why Twitter is a crazy place. You literally see all that shit. Yeah. See your only fans. You see like a fundraiser. Yeah.

Then you see a kick in the head blowing off. Well, that's the funny part about like, I was watching a nature documentary. And there's all these chimps. And they're the most disgusting fucking assholes. And they're an inchway from camera. I'm like, you can't show a woman's nipple. But you can show it a chimps dirty fucking asshole.

And then like, you show a lion eating somebody. But you can't show like a woman. Crazy thing about TikTok, you only show a nipple of your breastfeeding. That's a fact. Really? Yeah. It's weird that they, yeah, okay. That's weird, right?

So then you just get people that are watching. There's people that literally just watch fit his breastfeeding. It's so creepy. I don't know where that drug. He's like, no, the nipples have got me hard, not the baby. I don't know where that fucking move the baby. Yeah. The best review is probably the one where, like, her tits out for a second.

Oh, my God. You know she just wants to show tits, but she's like, come here. Yeah, yeah, yeah. There's some good-ass tits on there. It's amazing. TikTok. All right. This is it, right?

Yeah, let's wrap it. Yeah, what you say? You said, you said... Yeah, Nashville, Tennessee, Oklahoma, Kuwait. Also, every Sunday. London? Yeah, every Sunday, London.

Now, but every Sunday I'll be at the shrine. Yeah, Harlem. 134th and Comedy Fight Club. And you can, you know, follow me on Instagram. I'll be around the city, bouncing around. Oh, and I'll be in D.C. next month. Ooh.

A little road gig. I'll be outside every day and shit. There we go. I got shows coming up, you feel me? That's the hard part is I just realized that this is going to come out in a month. So I'll let's judgment be... It's fun.

We'll probably still be doing the same shows. I was still going to Kuwait. I'll still be doing the same shows in the city. Shout to my people. It's Derek and Mike, you know. Me and Ryan did this something big that we can't even talk about yet. RIP, Patrick, Hinchcliff.

Yeah, it's a boy. He died recently with RIP, Patrick Henscliffe. And love your mom and make sure your family good. All right, there we go.