Morning Good - Think About It - Episode 128

Episode Date: October 30, 2022

Big thanks to Ben Kirschenbaum for joining the show for for the first time and to Jake Velazquez for joining us once again. Find Jake on earlier episodes of the podcast, and for more info on Ben, check out his links below.Jake is on Instagram @jakevcomedy and co-hosts the Do Less Podcast with another former guest, Mike Bramante. Ben is on Instagram as well @benkirschenbaum and co-hosts a mystery themed podcast called We Were Had. As always, find Michael Good on Instagram @michael_good1125 and on Twitter @agoodmichaelThis podcast was produced by Paxton Fleming, you can find him on Instagram @yaboypax 

Thanks for the F-Shack. Love Dirty Mike and the Boys. Hey, are you dirty Mike and the boys? How you know who we are? What's this? They called the podcast? Morning. I love that.

Yeah, it's me with the boner on the front. Welcome to morning. Sweet, that should be picking up fine. All right. We're here with Jake Velazquez. How's it going? And Ben Kirshenbaum. Hey.

And I've gotten in one second. Let me hit this nicotine. Nice. I've only started vaping for the quality of the podcast. Like, I'm throwing my body away because it stimulates my brain. Yeah, it's good. I noticed nicotine in general, I think, does that because my friends used to do, like, used to dip while playing video games. Oh, it's like steroids.

It's performance enhancing drugs. Are you guys both from the north? You're from here. Where are you from? New York City, from Manhattan. Did you say the north before? I mean, it's the north. Like we're at war right now.

You're from the north. the Yankees. Yes, we would be on the opposite team. But, so, like, dipping probably wasn't big here at all, right? No, not really. It was, I went to a All-Boys Catholic school, which I feel like that's an environment where dipping thrives. It wasn't big until I got to high school, but I did notice a lot of, a lot of folks.

Because there's a lot of, like, Westchester people that are very bro-y. Oh, yeah. And those, like, you know, become finance bros eventually, they all dip. Yeah. I talked about this before. That, by the way, because finance bros. are going to be successful, they will influence the culture of the future. The way they talk, the, do what's up?

Like, we're going to see, like, very successful people with that voice. Right. That's a good point. Because it's like, you look at all of them, and all of them talk exactly same. They're like, oh, do, yeah, yeah. And I'm like, which I have sort of that. I have more like Southern bro, not Southern, but like, more like Beach Bro. But I feel like the finance bros, they will be the next generation of, like, our

president one year will sound like that. If there was just like a slightly different, like, head, like if you, you maybe got hit, you know, by like a car or something and it knocked something loose, I could easily see you in a button down in a vest. Oh, well, can't you picture him in a button down in a vest? If he got concussed? I'm saying, no, just like if you were slightly different. I'm not sure how many more brain cells I can lose.

If he was slightly different. If you were what? Like slightly different mentally. Yeah, yeah. I could have gone that route. Absolutely. I think about it every day. Like, my family works in like real estate.

And then, like, I went to Florida State. Everybody in my fraternity is like very finance broie. So I'm like that, I think about it once a day. I'm like, how would that life have played out for me? Right. I feel like I'd be drinking way more, though. Because if I think when you have a job like that, you hit, like, the clock ends and then you're like, I'm getting fucked up. Like, everybody I know that works in anything other than comedy drinks more than people I know doing comedy.

And you go to a wedding and that's like an event. I mean, it's already an event. But it's like it doesn't matter how removed you are from the bride and groom. That is you've been working for this. Right. Yeah. Because you have like work happy hours after work. So you're getting fucked up on that.

On weekends, you're going out to get drunk with your friends. You're going clubbing. Then you're hitting brunch on Saturday. Then you're hitting brunch on Sunday. Yeah, you'd be drinking all the time. You don't even be funnier, honestly. Yeah. Dude,

my friends of do-toe comedy are fucking hilarious. I know. Now, to be fair, I don't know what they like with stand-up. Like, that might just fail completely. Yeah. My friend is a resident or a fellow or something like that in orthopedic surgery.

And he, his whole Instagram is just him clubbing and going to, like, raves and stuff. Yeah. Which, well, that's not good. But still. Yeah. The more intense the job, the more you just kind of let loose.

There's also like, there's a 0% chance you go to raves and you're not doing drugs. So when you post a picture of you at an idiot, everybody's like, you do MDMA. There's like zero percent chance. Yeah, you can't have the conversation. We're like, no, no, no, it's all about the lights. Yeah, yeah, yeah, just about the colors. Like all those, I guess the DJs, some of them go sober. Like, because they're like, yeah, because that lifestyle is fucking crazy.

Because it's like, we did comedy is like hard stay. I'm like, no, they're staying up until like 5 a.m. Yeah. And, like, their networking is like, you got to do Molly with Avici tonight. You're like, or else I won't produce a new. I got to form this connection with him. Sure, sure. So.

Have you ever heard of, like, fish hooking? I know there's like a sex term, but there's also like. Yeah, I thought of what you're fucking somebody from behind. Yeah. It is that. But it is also the exact same thing. But if you're at a club and someone just puts Molly on their fingers and just like fish hooks you. Then happen to be a bonnery.

Yeah. It's just accepted. Yeah. And you'd be the asshole if you got mad. Like, that's how much drugs are flying out, that someone could just dose you. Right. And if you got mad, you're the, you're the, you're the asshole. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Are you supposed to be thankful? I think you're supposed to be thankful. I guess it's just free drugs. Yeah, I think so. I mean, if you end up, like, getting fentanyl, I think you can then be pissed, you know, from above. But, uh. They happened to be a bonner. I did, like, three days worth of drugs.

I was like, I can't do any more drugs. And this girl's like, ah! And then I was like, oh, my God. I was like, hopefully you got it from good chores. She said, yeah, that guy in a wheelchair over there gave it to me. And I'm like, I guess that doesn't affect the quality of it. But I'm like... Yeah, that's not what put him in.

Yeah, hopefully not. But, so you grew up in the Bronx and you grew... Not the traditional Bronx. No. No. The river area. Nice part. Yeah.

It's not a gated community. It's not a gated. No, no. I don't know why. I just, I picture it. I'm making all these... I've seen his childhood home. It's lovely.

Yeah. It's fine. Yeah. Yeah, it's not bad. I got a glimpse into that. I was riding over the bridge in like, the north part of, like, New York. I guess just the Bronx. Yeah.

North New York City. Yeah. And I was like, Everything you see is north and south. It's like Staten Island, that's the south. It's all down south. So they vote in geographically. But it's like I went through it.

I got like a glimpse. I was like, oh, that looks real. At some point I just saw like a nice beach. There's not beaches, but. I think it was probably just some sand and water. Maybe. There's a lot of like trees though. It's way more like foresty than the rest of New York.

Yeah, yeah. It's way more foresty than the rest of New York. So it's definitely you feel almost like you're, in the suburbs because there's a lot of like trees and like all the houses have like little gardens out in the front so doing the walk around is quite nice but lately this is going to get go down a weird road the neighborhood has changed when i was growing up it was a lot of jewish people a lot of irish people now there's like a lot of like uh Hispanics and it's just go on is there's something funny just like this morning i just passed like 10 bed of roses

in front of houses and also like all those houses had some guy with like a do rag rolling a blunt you know and I'm like this is interesting it is the Bronx but it's very nice yeah you know what I mean

and then where did you grow up so I grew up in Manhattan but I actually went to school lower school all the way through high school in Riverdale in the area that he grew up in so Riverdale has like two parts basically there's Fieldsston

which is where all the mansions are which is not a gated community, but for all intents and purposes, is sort of, like, there's a lower speed limit, there's speed bumps, and they have, like, their own little security force that patrols that area. Okay. And that's where Ben's school was. And, like, there's three of these private schools that are, like, the richest schools in

the country, and they're all in Riverdale in that little area. Do you guys hide being rich in comedy? Because I, I, when I first- I'm not rich, but I certainly would hide it. Yeah. No. I'm not, like, it's so funny because I thought I was rich coming from Florida. I realized that, like, New York money is, like, way different.

Yeah, right. Because, like, my parents have money in Florida, but I'm like, that's nothing compared to here. So, like, when I did comedy in Florida, like, everybody would just brag about how poor they are and, like, they're like, fuck rich people. And I'm like, yeah, man, they're the worst. Yeah. Yeah. I'd be like, yeah, yeah. I think I'm fairly honest with. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I got all these assumptions with you. Like, you're just filled with money. Well, I had a lot of money from working for a little bit, but now it's all gone. Yeah. Dude, it doesn't last. Like, I thought, like, I didn't, I never got, I got a pandemic unemployment, but not. New York State unemployment. I was like, dude, if I had that... And I'm like, you know, everybody I know that got that money, it's completely gone now. Yeah.

You can't give it irresponsible. I mean, you can. Like, it helped pay rent for a while, but I'm also like, I'm horribly financially responsible. So, I feel like I can't hold on the money at all, yeah. Yeah, it's... I think most comics are... It's like one of one or the other.

What do you mean? Almost every comic I know is frivolous, but then occasionally you just meet the most frugal because they, you know, because it, like, gives you these... Oh, yeah, like, Ryan O'Toole, who's like, like, dude, first time I met him, he was selling, like,

he's selling, like, coat hangers one time, which I don't even know how you, dude, he's like going into, like, that's actually the craziest thing to sell. They're free. They're basically free. That's like selling phone books. Yeah, yeah, yeah, I do. Packs of 900.

Just go to, like, steal them from the dry cleaner literally gives you those for free. Yeah, yeah, no, he was trying to sell them. So first he tried to sell them at open bike, he's like, you guys want fucking co-hangers? And everybody's like, no, we don't want co-hangers. And then I see him just like getting yelled at by like a, I'm not sure if he's, maybe this is my

vision, but he's getting yelled at by like a Chinese man at one of the stores like, come on, why don't you want any fucking coat hangers? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. And the second time I saw him, he was selling, um, like, uh, metro cards for like 40 bucks, but they were like month long metro cards. Oh, okay. Stop charging? Yeah, or no, no, no. So,

oh, month long is 100 something, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. But I'm like, I don't know, how do you even get that? Yeah. How are you plugged in? First of it's like, it's like he's from New York. He's from Boston, so he somehow made his way into the illegal metro card market, which I don't even know how you do that. He also, like, will do the street collection.

What do you mean? Which a handful of comics do, like, they'll go through garbage. Oh, hell yeah. And, like, get a big bag, like cans and stuff? No, no, not cans. Like, like, someone threw out a fucking TV or whatever it is. Oh, okay. Yeah, yeah, we'll pick up stuff.

He was at the open mic, though, for comedy, right? It's not like he just was selling hangers and he was like, oh, give this a shot. That would be an amazing. stories. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. So that would be beautiful. No, no, he was at the open mic doing comedy.

But, I mean, partially, he was, he seemed like he was trying to push the cone hangers pretty hard. He's incorporated it into his act. Well, I don't know. He was fucking sick coat hangers. You know, you can never have enough of them. There's a lot of, like, Ryan Othool Legends, so I don't know what's true or not.

So I don't want to necessarily say this one's true. But I did hear that he used to, like, date or it was, like, temporarily married to this girl that was very wealthy. Oh, he was, yeah. Yeah, and he would live in her building, which was, like, across the street from Central Park. And there's like this beautiful apartment building. And then he would go across the street into Central Park and sell water bottles.

Which is so funny to me. Dude, he's like the most street smart guy. Yeah. I feel like he's one of those guys who just knows how to do shit like that. Yeah. Which I'm the opposite. I'd have no idea how to start. I'm the opposite too.

Yeah. I literally just don't know how money works. Money works. And maybe that is, you know, the privilege of growing up in a, you know, upper middle class family or whatever. But I never, I never learned that kind of street smart. No. Dude, if somebody fucks me over, like, I just now started arguing with them. Like, I bought a vape pen and the guy's somebody with a wrong one. And then he's like, yeah, unfortunately, I can't refund the tax.

And I'm like, yeah, that's fine. And he just kept $10. I was like, wait, that makes no sense. Because the transaction didn't happen if I got a refund on it. So you gave it back to you? He gave me minus $10. Because apparently he was a $10 sales tax on it. Like, I just completely got ripped off.

But I'm like, whatever. Damn. I think that that is kind of the thing about my – because so much of it doesn't actually make sense. Well, just everyone's screwing it. I used to not think that. I used to think that it was just like mistakes, and I'm an asshole for bringing it up.

But then working in commercial real estate long enough and getting it pointed out to me, people often make mistakes to their advantage. So they're just trying to, like, screw you over. Oh, and like, if you don't say anything, then you're not going to... That's how all this customer service shit works sometimes. I feel like they overcharge you, like, by $10.

And they just keep putting you through a loophole of, like, calls until it's like, at what point does it become just worth it lose $10 is how they make half their money. Yeah, yeah, because time is money. And you're spending hours talking to people. Yeah, like I had an airline that wouldn't refund me and I was on the phone with them. Eventually it happened. But I'm like, yeah.

Yeah. Now I have like $90 with a delta points that I just haven't used. Right. I've been having a weird thing. Yeah, I went out drinking on Saturday and somebody brought up a conspiracy that just was not true at all. Have you heard this conspiracy that we invaded Afghanistan to get control of the poppy fields? And that's the whole purpose of the war. Huh.

I thought it was interesting. And, like, on Friday night, I call, like, three people. I'm like, yo, this is all a conspiracy. Who did you call? Who are your go-to? I have a couple go-to friends. So I have friends that talk a lot, so I'll call them on, like, a run. And I'll just have them just go on because it's more engaging than a podcast.

That's funny. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah. It's like a podcast, but, like, I occasionally chime in, cool or yeah. Yeah. Like, I have a friend in jail, and he always has something interesting to talk about. So I'll call him. Oh, that's good, yeah.

Yeah. It's not great, but, you know. No, no, no, but that you're calling, I meant more. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Because he's probably looking forward to a call. Oh, that's just what his one phone call is not to his lawyer. Entertain Michael. Yeah, a little bit's going on.

That's the funny part, too, is like, you always forget how much the call me to him because I'm like, yeah, I missed a call for, like, but now I'm like, oh, yeah, that's like the highlight of his week. Yeah, yeah, totally, totally. It's his Friday night. I took his way his Friday night. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. But it's like, he always has something interesting to talk about. Of course. Yeah, you know, this is going on.

The guards are being dicks or whatever, you know. stuff like that. But yeah, so I called like a bunch of people. And apparently it just was totally inaccurate. Apparently it's like the opposite. Apparently we went to Afghanistan and just destroyed poppy fields. Because I didn't know. Did you know like the Taliban funded their like war efforts with like heroin money basically?

I did think, know that. But I did. I have never heard that conspiracy that that was the reason that we went in. No, no, no. It ended up being the total opposite because we went in there to destroy. Right, right, right. Yeah. Then, you know, take, take up.

competition. Yeah. Well, no, that's, then I started looking into that. Because I just, like, I get bored and I'm like,

all right, let me look up some conspiracy theories. And yeah, apparently, so we get our opium, because I was curious, because, like,

opium's completely legal in some senses, because we need it to, like, make, like, pharmaceuticals here. Mm-hmm. And I guess we get our opiates

from, like, the UK and Australia. That's like, apparently Tasmania, which I didn't know was an island. Yeah. I thought it was part of Australia.

I guess it's owned by Australia. But I guess we, like, And that's the thing, too, is I have to listen to, like, an hour of a vice documentary. And I'm, like, taking notes when I listen to this, I'm like, all right, let me, when I repeat these to my friends, so I sound like I know what I'm talking about. Yeah, yeah. I got to, like, fully engage in this.

But I'm like, I guess that could make sense that we were, like, destroying their poppy field, so ours would benefit. I mean, there's like a thousand reasons. I think maybe, because I think all these drug companies, you know, based on my extensive research watching Ozarks, but I think all these drug companies could go to the lowest bidder. And maybe some of these, you know, procter and gambles go in after, get an Afghani opium because it's way cheaper than the U.S. is

from the U.K. or Australia. So they just once, maybe the war happened, but then they were like while we're here. Let's destroy all these. How do they do they, how do they how do they destroy it? Because for some reason I'm picturing, I guess it's like large fires and stuff like that. Yeah, there's them burning. It's like, it's burning.

Oh, for some of you're picturing, just like taking a machine gun. Because I don't, I mean, it sounds crazy. I think they would use like pesticides and stuff. Because it sounds crazy to light them on fire because it's opium. So then you're just you don't mean? It's like when they're like we're burning marijuana. It's like, right, doesn't that

get everybody high? I don't know. Oh, I guess it's concentrated. That sounds wildly dangerous to stand over a field of burning opium and be like, yeah, I'm just going to stand here and not get high on heroin. That'd be a great way to die. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. That's a good. And it is an interesting thing. He died in the war.

Yeah, yeah. He's a war hero. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It was fucked up. Yeah. Most fucked up person in history, probably. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, they're probably nodding off.

But I'm like, I think they use like pesticides and stuff like that. But yeah, I guess it was interesting to see how the whole thing worked. Because I guess like I didn't realize like the Afghanistan. Apparently like they can't just stop selling opium because like they will like die. It's like a giant fraction of their like. Oh, yeah. Like it's like their number one export apparently is like opium. And all the farmers, they, the farmers have like no.

idea or like what heroin is really because they're like oh yeah there's this plan it's used for medicine like they just hear for the person selling it like this is used for medicine they have like I guess no idea that it's like the most dangerous drug right right in the world but it's like if they like apparently like they just get fucked so like they use their money off selling heroin to like help the Taliban but also the Taliban started off like very anti-heroin because they're like a religious group yep and then apparently they were like justified it they're like no we can sell heroin just can't do it yeah yeah because like when we had I guess 2000, the Taliban said

we're not going to be like a part of like the poppy sales. And then we got into war with Afghan I don't know anything about it. A year later we got into war. Yeah. And then they were like, no, no, no, we have to like sell it. Yeah.

Interesting. Yeah, the end justify the means maybe kind of thing. Yeah, yeah, yeah. They're like, like, heroin's bad. But they're also like, in their mind, they're like all this heroin's going to the United States. So we're just kind of like ruining their lives while also.

That's a good point. Yeah. It's natural. Maybe. Speaking of Afghani conspiracies, have you ever heard of the giant of Kandahar? No, I know. Oh, come on. Basically that when we invaded Afghanistan, the U.S. soldiers encountered a giant.

This is awesome. Yeah, it's like something out of like a fairy tale, but it has to be a hoax. Dude, if I went to war, I would say shit like that. Yeah, that's what I think it is. Dude, everybody believes you. Like, it's one of those things that are like, dude, if I went to war in Iraq or Afghanistan, I could easily just say 9-11's inside job. And everybody would believe me. Right, right.

You could say, yeah, we encountered lots of UFOs over there. Nobody's going to not believe you because you're like, I've never been over there. Yeah, yeah. So you can just make up so much lore, especially like when you get older as like a grandpa. You're just like, fuck it. I'll tell people that this happened, but that happened. Well, there's like sketches of it and it's got like a spear through one like U.S. sold. It looks insane, but it's-old.

I love that it's sketches. Yeah, yeah. In an age of cameras and stuff I'm still treating it like Zasquatch That's sort of like the UFO thing With like the UFOs What they do is they get rid of all cameras

So that's why you can't take a picture of it Right Right It seems a little A giant of camera It just they Was it a it was a Gentle giant

Or it was a Militans Oh God Oh it was like fighting for the Afghanis Yeah yeah Oh That feels like That just looks like a satsquatch

That seems like just the lamest excuse for why the war wasn't going better. Yeah, yeah. They had a giant. We couldn't have done it either. It says allegedly encountered and killed by a group of American army soldiers on the mountainside in Afghanistan. Oh, we got him. Yeah, we got him. But he took down some forces.

They said he was 12 to 15 feet. Yeah, we didn't get bin Laden. It was just, well, bin Laden was like 6'6. It might have just been bin Laden. Redhead. Redhead. They said the giant impaled Dan was a giant spear. I've proceeded to attack the rest of the squad.

The business states that it took 30 seconds of continuous fire to down the giant. What site is this? Some bullshit website. But my friend has sent me stuff on it before. Yeah. Like it is a, It is a conspiracy. I don't know if he believes everything as much as he just like.

It's all fun. But then. I'll indulge in all of it. Yeah. It's exciting. It's exciting. But then this one, for whatever reason, does have some rabbit hole where it'll like somehow convince you.

Yeah. Yeah, you know, because it does go with the Sasquatch, and it's like these giants, they still exist all over the world. You'll see a video George Bush. He's like, the giants over. You're like, what? There's always a video of like some politicians say something like so out of context. You're like, he said it.

That's all the truth I need. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. But that's also an interesting thing I was thinking out too because it's like they went over there. The Taliban, like so many U.S. veterans also get hooked on opiates. So it's like the Taliban is just like benefiting so much from like. Right.

But I'm sure. some of their guys do as well. Oh, yeah, yeah. I'm the slowest war. Yeah. Dude, there's a comment on a bit about that. He's like, yeah, of course we'd lots of Vietnam War. Half our soldiers were on fucking heroin. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Was there heroin there, too?

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Maybe there is something because it seems like we only go into countries that have heroin. Right? Okay. Yeah, at least recently. Last 50 years or so, 60 years. We got to check out, fucking see what's going on. Ukraine. Yeah, Ukraine is probably just a fucking opium then. Yeah, no, and I think something had, See, this is the problem.

I want to be one of these guys that, like, throws this in conversation. I'm like, did you know? But I don't know half the facts. So I'm like, or how to insert it. Did you know? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Lately, instead of conspiracies,

I'll just make, point out to things that might be related and just say, think about, you know. Yeah, yeah, yeah, that's a great way to be like, hey, I'm not saying anything, but put these two things together. Because I was like, Hunter Biden. I didn't remember he got in trouble

for the emails with Ukraine when they were running and now we're in war with Ukraine. Think about that. But you don't know what I'm about to say You're filling them a gift Yeah, no, it's a gift. Because it does, it's like, there is something there. I don't know, but I have no clue what it is.

Yeah, yeah, right? You have these two points. You're like, I know they're connected. Like, I know. It's too much of a coincidence. Yeah, yeah, because I'm like, if you look at the timeline, I'm like, all right, looks like we pull out of Iraq, opiate crisis starts to build.

You know what I mean? Like, there's something involved here. Something's going on. I don't know how to fucking say two things. Yeah. Yeah, just think of it. Well, because Vietnam is, like, I'm pretty sure there's like a giant, that was the whole plot of, uh, wasn't the whole plot of, uh, wasn't the whole plot of tropic thunder is that they, they were trying to shoot something in Vietnam, but they went too far west. And then now they're in like the heroin territory. Yeah, yeah, yeah, right. Uh, that, yeah, that was like a huge part of like when heroin became big in the United States. So I know before that, apparently we had some deal with, um, Mussolini. Like, this was way before in World War II, we had a deal with like, not Mussolini, with the Sicilian mob that we would let them bring heroin. to the United States in order for them to tell us

where Mussolini was. I've heard this is completely true. No, I'd nothing to bag it. My sources. We got them. Yeah, you explained that then. How'd we get them? So, like, that was, like, the first wave of it.

But then, like, I guess the 60s, I was heard that a lot of Vietnam veterans came back and they were like, heroin's fucking sick. And that's what he became, like, a big thing. Yeah, I wanted to be, dude, I wanted to be Hunter Biden for Halloween, but people, you can't be anybody. without people thinking you're on one side or another.

Because I'm fully like political. Like I'm, I stay on involved. I'm probably not going to vote again. Just because I'm like, eh, I don't really care anymore. Midterms, come on. You have to vote midterms? You vote just midterms? Just midterms, not.

And how do you, do you, I mean, because you don't know a lot of the people. Curtis Silwa. Oh, is he running for something? Yeah. Dude, his videos are so funny. You ever watch his videos? Of course. It's like him and there's like some kid with autism that's like, he's like pal.

And they like just, they have these, like, like, like a green screen. They just go off about whatever's going on. They talk to each other? Yeah, yeah. It's like him and like a guy who dresses just like him,

like a minion. Yeah, yeah. Like a red beret. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And it's just like them, they're like, ha, ha, Eric Adams, look what he did this week.

And I'm like, are you running for anything? No, maybe. I don't know if he is, honestly. Yeah, yeah. Just voting midterms is great to me. I think that's the movie.

I don't care about president, but my comp controller better be. You have no say in the presidential. If you think about it, it actually is a good move. Like only eight people are voting for Alderman. Yeah, yeah.

I actually looked up the midterm election date today just based after going down a Twitter rabbit hole. Yeah. Like, we're going to nuclear war. Yeah, I've got to vote for the midterm. Yeah, this will do nothing, but you got to do it. Yeah, well, I'm still registered to vote in Florida, which is technically voter fraud, because I don't live there anymore.

So, like, I can, like, influence elections in that state. Technically, it's voting. I don't think you're going to have much say in that state. No, no, no, yeah. Either way, yeah. DeSantis is winning. Wait, is that, that one goes either way, though. Has it been Democrat before?

Or has it's only been a Republican? I think it's been a Democrat before. Oh, yeah, no, it's still relatively close. I mean, I know it's been a Republican. So maybe you could actually. Yeah, yeah. I don't even know who he's running against. He's running against the former guy.

Who? Who's running? Gillum? No, ah, damn. What's his name? Oh, Charlie Chris. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah.

Who's running? Ron DeSantis. He's running? Yeah. So I guess he'll just stop being... No, no, he's saying running for governor. That's what I'm saying. I guess I'll just stop being governor once he becomes president.

Yeah, yeah. I always was confused about that. Like, can you just keep them both? Well, it's weird that you would... Oh, he's the governor of Florida and the president of the United States. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's funny. Well, I think that was like part of the debates as they were asking them. They're like, hey, what's going to happen when...

Are you going to run for president? And I didn't watch enough to figure out what happened, but yeah. Yeah, I'd be curious. But also, like, I feel like I... I feel it's not a guarantee because it might be somebody else. Oh, yeah, yeah. I also like, I feel like for local elections, I just have no idea with the, I think the bail reform is maybe an issue going on. Crime is just like the main issue, which I feel like in, it's in other places that's just like not a thing. I mean, I think New York just crime is always just like the basis of. Now, now, now. For mayor or for governor? For mayor for mayor, for sure. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Yeah. Crime was not a concern before COVID, though, because New York was safe for such a long period of time. I think we took it for granted. We started, like, I at least started taking it for granted. It was very much like, okay, let's worry about other things. But now, I think we're concerned about it again. Yeah, I don't know how to fix. It doesn't seem like it's organized crime. It seems like it's just crazy, dude.

Like, that's like 100%. Unless that there's a conspiracy, that there's somebody controlling the homeless population. That's a good concern. Just once a week, they're like, here's a sharpened umbrella handle. Go attack a lady with this. Because that's like all, it's like just the random as shit. It's a same thing.

as Jake's thing, you just give him a weapon, think about it. Lady, weapon, think about it. It seems like that's just all the crime is just some crazy person doing something nuts. Yeah. I think I rarely hear about, they're like, oh, I mean, I'm sure there's like bankrupt, but I'm like, nobody's like the mob. I mean, maybe it's a thing. I don't know.

There is bank rob. Well, this is, I want to get into conspiracies. Yeah. This is what the take of a lot of people is now is that the mob is now no long. the criminals. They're legitimized business owners and politicians that just do crime. Oh, you know, like that, like, uh, at least in Italy. That's what they say where it's like the mob in Italy is like they have like seats. Right. You know, and that's what people would maybe say here. Because I think the mafia is like the, they work in like certain like union jobs and the food

business and things like that. Yeah. These petty crimes have nothing, you know, that's like they're not on the street like sticking people up anymore. That's so funny. It's like you're actually making money. It's like, it's like, in a place where they're like torturing a guy

in the back. This is a family run Italian restaurant. We do water barred people in the back. Unless you're not

a private party. Then we like free it up. And I think there are bank robberies, but they're by crazy people and they fail miserably.

I've read like a couple bank robberies and it's just like the person gets caught like within 60 minutes of rob in the bank. One of my friends, RIP.

Not in a bank robbery, but he's dead. I don't know. There's no, it's so funny. I keep talking about my dead friends. I don't have to mention they're dead on the podcast, but for some reason I always throw it in. I'm like, anyways, that guy's not really more.

Yeah. But his stepdad robbed a bank, no mask on. Wow. He's just a drug. During COVID? No. Sir, put your mask.

It was like a gun pointed. But it was like, he was like a drug addict. He was like, yeah, yeah. I remember the guy was like a nurse. And then what happened was my mom's like, yeah, I know. I saw him buying like needles. I'm like, he's a nurse. That's what it is.

I was like, nurses need needles, which obviously you wouldn't be buying it from the store that makes zero sense. And then I had friends that caught him doing drugs in the bathroom when we were in high school. And then my buddy, who's like not alive anymore, but he was like, yeah,

check out my old stepdad who's just like, it's him just wearing glasses. Maropping a bank. That's crazy. Wow. He saw Superman. He's like, look, they're going to have no idea who I is.

That's great. I'll be completely fun. It is so funny how that thing is Superman. Like, it's an old, like, hacky joke about, like how, but it's like, I'm reading the comic books now because I love comic books. And even in that, like, he's like trying to tell Lois Laney's like, I am Clark Kent. And she's like, nah, good one super.

Like for like, the whole comic book is like him trying to, like this graphic novel I'm reading. It's like him trying to convince her that he's also Clark Kent. And she's not. I kind of like it though. I mean, obviously it's extreme and ridiculous. But I kind of love the idea that if someone really was Superman, you would never expect the nerdy guy in your office. Like, it would be a very hard thing to put.

put your, you know, head around. Yeah, yeah. And she's, like, and she's, like, banging Superman in the comic book, and she's like, yeah, like, I would fuck Clark Kent. Like, she's, like, grossed out by Clark Kent. She's, like, that fucking nerd from the office. That's so funny. Yeah.

She's, like, deeply, like, grossed out by Clark Kent. Well, it's funny also that, like, Clark Kent is such a nerd because he just wears. He's still a hug, you know what I mean? Like, that guy. He's a journalist, and he's, like. Is a journalist bad? I think that's a cool. He's a writer.

He's a little typewriter back in the 40s. I guess if he's going for Superman. like if Superman's your thing Clark Kent wouldn't be your thing but I think in 2022 a lot of girls would prefer Clark Kent to Superman Oh 100% That's like Clark Kent is in

Yeah I guess that's a good point Even Jimmy is in for God's sake Who's Jimmy? Yeah yeah Yeah yeah yeah Jimmy Olsen yeah Yeah right Yeah well that was one thing I was talking about

Spider-Man because people got mad that like Spider-Man was just like a hot guy with glasses Because that's kind of what they did for the last I thought he was a nerd But like they had when they had Andrew Garfield they just threw a hot guy guy at the three glass, I'm like, he's a nerd now. And then Tom Holland's like a hunky dude.

They're like, he's a nerd now. I could see Tom Holland is a nerd. Short, I think, gives you a lot. Because Tom Holland's very short, right? Yeah, yeah, I guess that gives some. The underdog. It's fucking type thing. Pipsqueak.

Yeah. But I guess like, if you look by like, what, Spider-Man came out in the 60s, Superman came out in the 40s. So I guess, yeah, I guess glasses in the 40s must have just been the nerdiest. I think so. Yeah. Because a lot of those guys that are like two generations or a generation above us got LASIC.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'd rather laser my eyes than look like a fucking dork. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, I don't know, maybe. I do think it was a thing, though, because, like, do you ever watch, like, those cartoons, like, like, they would always just have, like, the nerd. That was the same thing. Oh, yeah, they just throw glasses on it.

Yeah, yeah. Or, like, brace. That would be funny. Clark Kent just has, like, the... He just has braces. Yeah, yeah. Superman. Yeah, it has, like, full head gear on, like, the Willie Wonka one.

Yeah. that's funny. But, I mean, if you really want to do it, Clark Kent should have been in a wheelchair. That would have completely, they should have just gone full out. Just flies above the screen. Stephen Hawking was actually superhero. That is fun. Yeah, it is interesting.

I was watching some video barely related to what you're saying. But I was watching this Facebook video. And it was about, like, this guy's on a plane. He's reading a book about advanced physics. It's like a PSA for like, don't treat people without syndrome, like, incorrectly. And there's this asshole in the plane reading like an advanced physical book. And next to him is a guy with Down syndrome. And the Down syndrome guy's like, what you're reading?

He's like, oh, you're too dumb to understand this book or whatever. Like, you know, just like, oh, PSAs, there's always some guy who's like way over the top. Yeah, yeah. Like, he just like literally hates the guy with Down syndrome. And then the Down syndrome guy spills a cup of water on him. And he's like, that's it. I can't be sat next to this imbecile here. Blah, blah, blah.

He's an idiot. And then they're like, sir, we'll make sure you're not saying next to him. It's like, we're going to move you to first class. And then he thinks it's him, but it ends up being the guy with Down syndrome. And the guy with Down syndrome goes, how bet you read the next chapter? The book gets a lot better. He goes, how would you know? He goes, turn the cover over.

Is he wrote it? Yeah, yeah. On the back cover, it's like the guy with Down syndrome. And I guess he wrote, he wrote. Oh, he wrote. It's somehow related to part of it. Yeah, yeah. It's like E equals MCD.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. I don't think this is right. Yeah. but it's like, it's where I'm like, yo, I totally, I get the inclusive message, but there's a zero percent chance in the township. And the first, the first thing is him try to put his backpack away. And the downside of the downside of the, but the back to actually. But, yeah, I was like, I don't know, maybe choose something different for him to be like really good at. I'm not saying they're not good at things, but like, by definition, he's not going to be an advanced physicist.

It would be funny if this guy was reading a book on the special. picks and then also getting pissed at like these guys are athletes here that was they four said and he's like read the next page oh it's you in there yeah also like I think if I was reading a book on advanced physics I would be like the first note would be like as a man with downs you know you'd be

you would know a little bit about the author that would be like a pretty and he's a giant picture of him on the back page yeah at some point you'd be like does that man have Down syndrome wrote this like I feel like you would be yeah yeah that's a that's a leap I think yeah yeah quantum leap Yeah.

Don't forgive him for spilling the water. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Right, right. Wait, oh, yeah, that seems like a douchey move. To what? To spill water on the guy. No, it wasn't intent. You didn't purposely pull it.

It seems like out of nowhere, because in general, the guy's just being really mean, but I'd be annoyed if anyone spilled water. Right, yeah, yeah. But it was just over the, like, it's one of those where he's just like, I can't be sat neck to this. So the message of it is, don't judge a book. By, it's covered. That's what I would say.

And all the Facebook posts are, like, so accurate. This could happen to any of us. And I'm like, all right. Well, it's just then you click on the profiles It's just people with Down syndrome. I don't think that's happening to any of you. Pretty cocky, this could happen to everyone when it's like, oh yeah, I understand.

I'm usually reading a physics textbook. Fucking so funny. Yeah, I'm done with both people in the video. So, yeah, I'm not... I couldn't read it even page of that. But it was interesting because I saw the other ones they have. And they're like hour-long PSAs. One of them said, it said,

this kid with autism gets bullied. the bullies immediately regret it. And I was like, this sounds like it's a school shooting thing. But I ended up watching the video. That would be a funny Pia. I was thinking, too. It's like, don't pick on him. It's like, at the very end he, like, winks at the guy is like,

you were nice to me. And that's like the lesson of the guy. Yeah, right, right. But he just schooled everybody in basketball. And they were like, I guess we shouldn't have bullied you. Because he schooled them at basketball? Yeah, the guy with autism, like, studied really hard at basketball. See, that one adds up.

I'm like, yeah, you could do that. But, like, sometimes they over... Studied really about, like, like, practice? Or you're just really good strategy type of that. Yeah, really good strategy. He like didn't get picked for the team and then they ended up doing that. I could see that being realistic, though. That's what I'm certainly more realistic than the other one.

Advanced physics. But the thing is, I'm just calling a spade a spade here. I think that other one's realistic, but is there people with autism in the NBA? I honestly don't know. I can't think of anyone. They're not out of the autism closet then. No, yeah. But also you can like, autism, you could be like a savant.

You be very, like, you could do anything. But it's like that's often coupled with other mental disabilities. Yeah, if the autism guy wrote the physics, that makes a ton of stuff. Yeah, that made way more. Because everyone reading those, everyone writing those books probably does have autism. What if the guy reading it had autism? And the message is that anti-autism as opposed to pro. That's good.

I like that. Yeah. But that's what I got into this week. That sounds fun. I don't have a job. I'm just watching fun. PSAs like that go through Facebook. Facebook's fun now.

I like, everybody's least favorite social media platform, but it's fun for me. I think it's becoming good again. Yeah. Because Twitter's just out of, I don't know.

I, everything I disliked, I like now. I used to hate celebrity news. Now celebrity news is my favorite thing. Yeah, yeah. Well, I like Twitter for news. Yeah.

If I need an update on something, I'll like, before I Google it, I usually look at Twitter because you'll find out much quicker, I feel like. Yeah, yeah. But to just,

then, of course, you get caught in the occasional, like scrolling loop, but to scroll Twitter on a daily basis seems crazy to me, but like, if like something pops off in the world, then you just want to look it up. I think that's what it's for. Oh, 100%. Yeah. Twitter was always like upsetting to me and crazy and all that stuff, but there used to be a

certain like masochistic like enjoyment to it and like seeing the crazy things. And then I just got over it. Yeah, it got to burn out. It got too just you're like, fuck. It also just becomes kind of hacky. It's like this is always kind of like filtering through the same. thing every time. Yeah.

On both sides. It's like either like super woke or super like all or like alt-right, but it's like you could see these takes from a mile away now. Whereas on Twitter you're like, I can't believe people are saying this and you'd feed into it. But now you're like, well, clearly you're saying that. That's just like, oh, that's just that one guy. You've been saying this for years.

Yeah. It's like Brooklyn Dad Defiant. And it's like everything is just him posting some like far like left thing. Yeah. You have like Ben Shapiro saying that Ken Showans going. something else. It just becomes predictable. It really does. Yeah, yeah. So it's not enjoyable. And super repetitive. It's super repetitive.

Yeah, it's kind of hack and it sucks. It is funny when you see something wild though. Like I'll occasionally see like some like far right thing and I'll see somebody like it. And I'm like, oh, I didn't know you thought. It's very interesting to see who who likes what. Well, sometimes I like things that might be far right or far left because I think they're genuinely funny even if they didn't intend to be. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. So people probably have no idea what to think of it. You know, if they were looking at both sides.

That's a way to be, I would love to just be like fully, I think my biggest fear is being labeled one thing or the other thing because I really like, like I'd say I'm like center left maybe, but it's like I hate like, I worry to an extent. Like I freak out. I'm like, oh, I can't do this because I'll be looked at as that. Right. You know what I mean? Yeah, I mean, you know what the big one is? It's just any celebrity or corporation that makes a big political point is it guaranteed like for me because that's the funniest thing to me. Oh, yeah.

You know if like Matt Damon just speaks up on it. issue. That's so funny. David's talking about like the born Ukraine. I'm like this hilarious. It's always what they choose. It's one thing when it's like super political, you know, Susan Sarandon or someone who comments on everything. But it's funny

when it's someone who never does. Rob Schneider-Hopsin. But it's always the most random thing too. It's like fracking. It's like, I got to speak of. Danny DeVito, like yesterday. Yeah. I put that. That was the I mean, I loved it. Well, because one, I'm a die-hard Danny DeVito.

Oh, sure. I'm going to like anything he posts, but it was like $60 billion in Ukraine. How about some money for Jackson, Mississippi, or Flint, Michigan? And it was like, Andy DeVito, where's the Trump from? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Because I also, I always thought of him. I mean, he is very liberal. But, like, it's weird that that war became such a political thing.

Now it's like, oh, you're either this or that. Well, I think it's pretty split on both sides, though, because I think, you know, because Biden is in power. Like, people kind of assume that the left is this, like, pro-nuclear, war party, but I actually don't think that's true at all. I think there's like a split on the left on what they think. There's a handful of people that are like, we need to stop Ukraine, but there's a lot of people that are just like, no, like, I'd prefer not get to nuclear war.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. I love Dannevito, too. He's the best. He's one of those people. He's liberal, but he's like anti-war. Yeah, yeah, yeah. See, I align more like that side. Yeah, yeah, yeah, I line with everything. But I also like, like, I love my North Star. I also love Rob Schneider just coming out being conservative. It's just fun for me.

Did that happen? Oh, Rockins is like a big conservative. Really? Yeah, yeah. Oh, that's amazing. Oh, that's so funny. You can do it.

Guys, like, listen, I am that guy, but also, we need to deal with these fucking immigrants coming here. Like, what? He was big a lot. What do you say? You know, not to slander any New York City clubs, but one of the clubs I perform at Uptown, big far right. And they have a book Schneider.

He's doing a show this week. And I was like, dude, I want a stider. And it was. It's kind of confusing. That's crazy. But now that you're telling me that does make sense. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Going back to the, I'm sorry, going back to the political thing real quick about like wanting to not seem one side or the other, I totally relate to that.

But the problem is that I do sometimes find politics interesting. Like, I do kind of want to talk about it. That's where I am. It's like this podcast. I wanted to be the silly thing. But at the end of the day, I'm like, I don't know. It's like my brain just gets flooded with politics all the time. It's like, I'm going to end up talking about it.

Yeah, right. Exactly. I mean, yeah, how do you do that in such a silly way where it doesn't really, where both sides can laugh at it? Yeah, yeah. Well, it is also one of those things where it was easier to be silly about it pre-COVID. Yeah. In my opinion, at least for maybe, but I think COVID and then everything that's followed now with the Ukraine war, everything's so high stakes. Yeah.

That it's almost like it's just hard to be silly because you're, because you're panicking a little bit every time you consume this news. where before the news was like Trump said some crazy shit like this is but I think that that's the key is to do characters stuff like Biden as a character, Trump as a character when you actually get into wars and stuff like that yeah it becomes trickier and trickier

like I was Alex Jones four years ago I couldn't do that now yeah oh yeah dude people would egg me in the streets if I was for Halloween I was saying that's who I was you know what I'm confused about though the Alex Jones and Hunter Biden how do you do what's the costume I had like a tinfoil hat

and like an indoor badge Hunter Biden I mean crack pipe laptop. Laptop. You got to carry the lap. I genuinely love Hunter Biden. I love him as a He lives like the coolest rockstar lifestyle. He's Charlie Sheen of politics. Yeah, 100%. Yeah, I'm like, he's entertaining. I think that if you're the president's son,

you shouldn't. If anybody can't smoke crack, it's that person. Right, right. That's fair. He'll be fine. Crack doesn't ruin his life. That is a good point. Yeah, yeah. Out of anybody, it's like he has the resources to do it. Just maybe don't give him access to, you know, all the sensitive information and high-powered oil business deals

in the Ukraine and things of that but I think if he wants to just sit home and do crack I'm very for it yeah yeah yeah I'm on board with that yeah yeah I uh something else I've been the fun conspiracies I'm now drifting away from the politics one

because I don't know enough about them I like the fun celebrity one but all of them are dead celebrity it's always this celebrity is still alive like there's an Elvis one where apparently like big time yeah his pseudonym they would use at the airport somebody used that pseudonym who looked like Elvis and they reported that he like flew out to like South America because I've decided like 100% if I make it big I am faking my death

I don't know how I'm going to do it but and I want I want if I become successful for people to listen to this podcast from like 30 years ago and go be like he said it one time and then I feel like faking your death would be so much more fun now because it's so hard so it's like really an accomplishment where back in the day it was so easy

is probably kind of anti-climactic. Right. You know, like, you fake your death and you're like, fuck, I kind of want to go back now. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Have you seen videos of Elvis towards the end? Yeah, but he looks bad.

He looks bad. Yeah, no, I don't really get it. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, that's the funny idea that he immediately got clean and went on like a juice cleanse. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Did you see the end of the elves? It's like, oh. Did you watch the movie? Yeah, yeah. I loved it. I thought it's great, yeah. But the end of it's so depressing when you see him just like a shell of a person.

Yeah. You're like, oh, that's brutal. But when he sings that song at the very end, not to give anything away, I thought that was like one of the most moving things. We're going to cut that out because people are going to, they can't hear that he sung a song. Yeah, it's going to fuck up the hole. No, yeah, I get what you're saying. I won't say anything else. I'm not going to say that he gained weight.

But yeah, I thought that was like so good. That's not a, dude, I should be, that's not original. I'm trying to take a Halloween costume, just fat, peeled up Elvis. I don't know. It's good. But everybody died. You know what I mean? Are you going to dress up?

I'm trying to do it's weird with like Because all the parties are at comedy clubs And normally at Halloween I'm like I go all out I'm like I'm gonna do something fun But it could go either way People can be dicks about it sometimes They're like oh you put too much effort

You know there's a weird like Yeah You either have to put a ton of effort I think Yeah Or a really lazy costume Or not dressed at all If you kind of like are in the middle of Yeah but it looks like you cared but failed

That's a sad Yeah that's bad That's bad yeah My girlfriend and I both like the movie And we were thinking about doing An Elvis Priscilla one But I noticed that the issue was that if we do... She's a child.

Yes. So if we do young Elvis, which is what I would want to be, she's 14. We do old Elvis. I'm old Elvis. Yeah. So you got to really thread the... It's got to be exactly when Elvis is 31. It's the perfect out.

Elvis, yes, but specifically 31-year-old Elvis. Yeah, that's funny. But then there's all those... There's the Alvara Levine is dead. There's always the funny ones that, like, I was like, why would they make a clone of Avrilavine? Well, Bill Hicks, being Alex, Jones is fun. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. It's a fun one.

But it's like the births never... Also, who's that one? There's one that... That pageant girl that got murdered? John Bonae Ramsey? Yeah, there's one that she is Katie Perry. All right. But the birthdays don't add up. It's like she was born after Katie Perry was born, so it's like... Same with, I think,

Alex Jones, Bill Hicks, like, Bill Hicks would be like in a walker now or something? Yeah, yeah, yeah. And Alex Jones is fair enough, not in a walker. Oh, no. I got to show you that video. I was telling him that there's a... Maybe we sent it to you guys, but it was a video of him seeing all the people being awarded millions of dollars and he's commenting on it. And it's the funniest commentary. Is he upset?

He's, yes, but he's not, he's just like, more. Bring it up. Bring it up. Oh, I thought it was more like that guy. No, but then he did do. He does that? He would just be like, never heard his name. Not part of any of this.

Oh, God. It's kind of funny It's amazing Yeah I wonder what's Somebody told me that he's so That apparently Filing for bankruptcy Doesn't mean you're out of business

There's this weird thing where it's like I don't know anything about economics But like it's like Trump filed for bankruptcy Right still was Yeah he filed for I don't know if he filed like personally Isn't that a way to say Isn't that a way to like get out of paying money

As you file for bankruptcy? But I don't think you could Fortunately right You'd be like oh I don't have any money But really you do I think he owned, like, a building. And often when you own a building, it's under an LLC, and that LLC filed for bankruptcy.

So, Info Wars filed for bankruptcy. Maybe. But Alex Jones. Oh, maybe Alex. No, Alex Jones probably filed for bankruptcy in this case. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. But I've heard a lot of people say, like, he's not going to end up paying that much money. No, I think people talk to a billion dollars.

People talked about it. It's just kind of like a statement. Yeah. More than a, it's like a symbolic. Like when they, someone else said this on a podcast. Dude, the shooting were, but there's just like a multiple life. life sentence. It's the same thing. It's like, clearly they're not going to be

serving multiple lives. Is Alice Jones just going to be like the most informed homeless person? I guess so. I can't see him as being home. I'll probably make money again. Yeah, yeah. Not nearly as much and he's definitely taking a massive hit, but I don't think he'll be poor. Yeah. Even if he is, whatever.

I mean, he had his run. Writes one book and he's a millionaire again. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, that is an interesting thing. It's like, it seems like we're in a big suing war because now Kanye's getting, everybody somebody's getting, like, sued for saying, it's like,

I don't agree with any of the thing. I don't like, I don't think you could be getting sued for speech, in my opinion, I don't know. No, yeah, I think it's slander,

I guess. Slander. Yeah. But you're not talking about being dropped from stuff. Oh, that's fine. Yeah, yeah.

Every business should have the right to, I mean, if you're breaking terms of the contract, that might be one thing, but if I'm assuming the contract had some, you know, specifically you can't go off on the judge. Please.

No, there definitely is some sort of thing like that, because everyone's lost sponsorships over the years. So you've got to imagine all these companies now have something in place where it's like if you publicly humiliate us. Nick Cannon's doing fine. Yeah, he kind of got away with it.

Yeah. He kind of like they were going to like fuck him, but then he like came back somehow. I think he apologized. He also didn't go nearly as hard as Kanye's going. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Kanye's going in. Then he say, I was trying to, because I was like, I was telling something like, no,

it's fucked up. He said he's going to DefCon 3 on the Jews. And they're like, what's DefCon 3? I was like, I actually don't know what it means. It's bad. It's bad. What exactly does it? Yeah, I was like, I don't know what it means. What does DFCON3 mean?

Oh, I don't know. I mean, I know what it means, but I don't know like literally where it comes from. Is it a military thing? Yeah, I was told it means like you're going on full defense, but a good defense is a good offense. So technically that's a threat in a way. Because if you're like, oh, because like some people interpret it is he's saying, I'm getting on full defense. The Jews are going to come after me. which is anti-Semitic, but that's not the same thing as I'm going after them.

It says it increase in force readiness above that required for normal readiness. So it's just like if you needed like one cop to arrest someone and they show up with like 10 cops to arrest one guy. So it is more the first one. Yeah. Yeah. So it's like over over there. Either one's very anti-Semitic. But I'm not sure what that means from Kanye though.

What do you mean? I mean, DefCon, there's just even with all his resources, there's no way of DefCon threeing the Jews. to know what that means. Yeah. Was there a second part of the tweet? Maybe there's a second part. Yeah.

Well, I've always said this. I don't think it's anti-Semitic to say that the Jews run the banks. It's anti-Semitic to say, I'm mad that the Jews run the banks. Because if you say the Jews run banks, I love what they're doing with it.

I don't know if that's technically what they're doing with it. You're like, it does feed the anti-Semitic conspiracy theory that, like, Jews run the world. But in a way, if you're like, I support them, I don't think anybody else should be running it.

Sure. I mean, I just think, it needs to be specified as there are a lot of successful Jewish bankers. I think that the wording of Jews run the banks is automatically. It's just the slippery slope aspect of it. Yeah, for sure. But it is funny to

be like Jews run the banks and I love, yeah, yeah, yeah, who else would I want running the bank? Yeah, well, that's always the problem is like, because people are always like, oh, what's wrong with saying something racist or anti-Semitic? They're like, isn't this take? It's like, that's not it's like a portion of Jews do run, like, work in

banking. It's like, that's not the same thing as saying. Right, right. Right. How do you avoid conspicuous? How do you, what, yeah,

the point where it's like you're not allowed to just say facts anymore versus the, your being anti-Semi. Be specific. He should have a statistic. Yeah,

this percentage runs. But also, like, I work for a Jewish company and I realize, like, I feel like a lot of it that people don't understand

is like Jewish people look out for each other. That's the reason that there's like, a success that you guys are, in my opinion, I have no idea. A global concern.

Even in the office, they're like, oh, yeah, Like, it's like I worked in an office with Jewish people and they're like, oh, yeah, I'm going to hire my, because you guys want each other to succeed. You have a got such a good sense of community. I agree with that, but I also feel like, first of all, there is plenty of infighting just like there is with any group. And then also that, you know, I feel like that's, isn't that universal? You know, bring on my cousin to.

It's not universal, but it's not exclusive to the Jews. Well, you know what I'm saying? Like, I would say a lot of Italians, too. Italians for sure. But I don't think, like, Irish, I don't think Irish people are like, let's hire another Irish. I think there's more, like, competitive. Yeah. It's probably either that or the exact opposite.

It is. Yeah. I don't know if there's much in between. Yeah, it's one of those things where it's like, I think it is true, but it's not exclusive to, it's like any major religious group probably feels that in some way. Even like Bible Belt and Christians in their community. I want to, Mormons. Like, there's just like every people that have strong beliefs. But, yeah, I don't know.

It's weird. that's why like I've always heard like because I work in real estate with a lot of like Jewish people and they'll be like like Jews are so tough in business I'm like yeah so are everyone in business so is everyone in business yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah like actually there's like special training in certain videos in certain like sales videos on how to deal with like Chinese people because they're also incredibly tough so it's like yeah this is an exclusive

to Jewish people right you know I mean it's kind of everyone that's doing this business yeah but I think the religion thing too is because like I know somebody that was like bringing up their atheist in a business thing. And then somebody else is like, don't tell people you're an atheist in business. Because like Jewish people, I think might even be more likely and Christians might more likely to hire Jewish people than like an atheist because there's that weird state behind like, oh, we're all. Morality.

Yes. Aethios don't stick together. I don't know. No, atheists don't stick together. Because there's nothing to like unify you. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And I think comedy can be the opposite. Sometimes you're like, oh. great. There's no white guys wanting to help each other out. That is the most divisive thing in comedy being a white. Everybody's like, fuck, that way. Like, if you see a white comic that gets booked on a show, you're like, oh, you're not fighting for other spots. It's like, there's a woman on the show. Everybody's like, oh, this woman who's hot took your stage time. It's like, no, that's a different spot on the show. Then, you know what I mean? It's like, I'm not saying it's like a diversity quote of it. I'm saying like that it wasn't you versus her. It was, you know what I mean? It's like, I think genuinely lineups do better if they are diverse. Like, I do believe it's like you can't just have like 10 white guys on the lineup.

I agree. I do think comedy does have a communal aspect. Even like from afar, like there's this, anytime like a comedian does something in the news or like, you know, I'm like, oh, that's fun. Like what? That it's like a comedian that's doing that. What do you mean? Like Seinfeld was at some sort of ribbon cutting thing. And then they wanted Rogan to, you know, do the debates.

I'm like, comedians are at the forefront of everything. Oh, yeah, yeah. And also they're going to make things more fun. They're going to be the jester. They're going to be calling stuff out and actually, you know, being, you know, real people. Right. But I think there is a supporting thing where, like, because we're in comedy, it's fun to see comedians do well in any fashion. Like, if a comedian ends up being in a movie, you know, like, if one of these, like, seller comics we see gets a role in a movie, it's, like, so exciting.

As long as they're still comedians, though. Maybe not in movies. But, like, when it's, like, enters the political realm or something like that, if they in some way become. the thing that they're joining, then that's very frustrating. Then we hate them. Yeah. Then you hate it. Then you're at the worst. Yeah, yeah. But I think it also depends if you're at different levels.

So it's like when I see like somebody who's way above me get something, I'm like, oh, that's awesome because that I was, but I think if I was at that level, then there might be some competitiveness. I might have to go get your car. I only got a few minutes left. Yeah, yeah. Do you want to do plugs and then? Follow me on Instagram, Jake v. Comedy.

That's it. That's it. Do less podcast. Come on. I've plugged it many times. But yes, do less podcasts. I have two podcasts. We were had and give me a name and yeah,

follow me on Instagram. All right, sweet. Yeah, so that ended so abruptly.