Morning Good - This is a Certified Hood Classic - Episode 60

Episode Date: January 16, 2022

Thanks to Charlie for coming back on the show, we hope to have Nick on again in the future. Make sure to go check them out and give them a follow if you liked this episode.Charlie's on Instagram @charliedcomedy and streams his podcast The Idiot's Catalog on the Callin app. So download that to check out his show. Nick is on Instagram as well @nicktaylorstandup.As always, find Michael Good on Instagram @michael_good1125 and on Twitter @agoodmichaelThis podcast was produced by Paxton Fleming, you can find him on Instagram @yaboypax 

Thanks for the F-Shack. Love dirty Mike and the boys. Hey, are you dirty Mike and the boys? How you know who we are? What's this? Did it call it the podcast? Morning. I love that.

Yeah, it's me with the boner on the front. Welcome to morning. So the thing about the vaccine... No, I'm kidding. When I was trying... One person just immediately turned it off. They're like, no, no, no. Still haven't got it.

No. I don't fucking news. at all, dude. I like, I've, any more, or as of like a week ago. One second. Pass me that? Yeah, yeah. I missed the part where Mike was like, hey, take apart the equipment right at the

beginning of this. Just a mechanic. Just you always just got to take something apart just so you can prove that you can put it. How do these work? Oh, there we go. We got Charlie's mic on. Yeah. Yeah, we're leaving that. I mean, it's less than a minute.

Let's fake it. Let's try. All right. Ready? Hey, guys. Good to see you for the first. What's up? What's up? That wasn't good either. That wasn't good. No, no. That was horrible. Um, well, that's the pod, right? I think we're done. Yeah, yeah. I think we're good. We're good. They guys, uh, go check out Charlie Dawson on Instagram. Charlie's Angels. No, I'm Charlie D. Comedy. I've toned it down. I got a normal handle. You got Charlie's Angels at first, though. No, I think I got Charlie's anglers. I swear to got it's even better. People were like, I don't get it. And I was like, well, imagine me fishing. And they're like, you still don't get it. Yeah, yeah. I don't get it still. Oh, by the way, we're also here with Nick Taylor. Yeah. Who has the name of a pop icon.

Yeah. When I hear Nick Taylor, I think of like Chip Skylark or like... Is that fairly odd parents? Yeah, yeah. Or like Aaron Carter. Like, Nick Taylor sounds like a name like that. Well, it was one of the dudes from Durand, Duran, I guess. Oh, really?

I guess. Yeah, yeah. That's what old people tell me that, but I don't... I don't know anything. Did your parents name you from Duran Duran? No. Okay. They didn't.

Okay. Otherwise, I would have known. But yeah, my, yeah, randomly, you know, old people find out my name and they just bring it up. And Duran Duran is a type of sock. Yeah, I think it's a sock company. It's right up there with, I don't know, other good sock companies. Yeah. We'll get going to. Would you shut the fuck? That is immediately. At least that. You guys are fucking up. No. Yeah. No, who are named after? Like in your family or? No. Santa Claus? My middle name My middle name

Roasted it Is he's a fucking idiot You still believe in them Because you're a bitch Yeah That was good this year But um I got COVID

Is that how you decided You were bad If you got Yeah I haven't caught it You haven't caught Ever or for the second time Nope haven't caught it

Are you Yeah That's great Yeah I understand like I didn't get it Until like that When that shit hit

That was like Unless I got it I was completely asymptomatic, and I didn't know, so I wasn't tested. And you're anti-vax, too, right? Yeah, I would never. You'd never. So my mom raised me, you know? Hell yeah.

But I think is, I don't really give a shit what anybody does with it, but it is funny like seeing, like, people, like, I had a joke about it where I was like, I wasn't going to get it. But then I saw Alec Baldwin tweeted that I should, and then I was like, what am I think? Because that's a funny thing that, like, before or after he killed that person? Yeah. He posted my favorite fucking. So because my thing also is like, nobody's going to be like, yeah, I think it's a

microchips, be like, wait a second. No, no, no. Olivia Rodriguez said I should get it. Like, you know, the celebrity endorsements of it are like crazy because nobody who's like not, you know what I mean? My buddy, it's not my joke, but he has a great joke about how Michelle Obama is doing a PSA to get it. And he's like, who is not getting the vaccine, but also

listens to Michelle Obama? Yeah, yeah, yeah, it's not. Yeah, it's great. Who's Olivia Rodriguez? Is that that that tough lady from Fast and the Furious? No, no, no. Singer, new, like, Ariana Grande. Oh, shit. Yeah, yeah, way off. She has, she's a song. She's a song, she's a song, It's good for you. It's good for you.

It's good, good for you. Do you know the words better? You know the words better. No, I do. I want TikTok. Yeah, yeah. I support her, but I don't know who she is. Yeah, yeah.

I don't support her and I do know who she is. But remember the tough lady from Fast and the Fearst that I was referring to? In every movie, she's ready to just fight. Yeah. I know what you're talking about. There's some actors like that every movie they're just like, fuck, let's go. I was like, whoa.

That's going to be me as an ass. actor. Just all, every scene you're trying to fight. This is a love scene. Yeah, I'm like,

I'm like, I'm like, a white beater on. Yeah, I've never once worn a white beater in my life. I've never once, I can't do sleeveless shirts.

They freak me out. Yeah, yeah. I was, never worn a tank top. Never worn a tank top. I tried it when I was like, I'm not, not exaggerate it like,

maybe seven years old, and I was like, I hate this. And I took it off and never wore a sleeed shirt again. I played basketball one year, and they were like, you got to wear the jersey.

I was like, I will wear an undershirt and then the jersey. Dude, I'm kind of the same way. I've never had, like, big arms. And it's also just like, I don't know, I just don't. I feel like, I don't know, it's a weird thing. I do live in Florida, or I did live in. So, like, that was kind of a big thing to wear tank tops a lot. But I still like, I don't know why.

Tank top's like a school uniform. Yeah. Hey, Mike, take some layers off, all right? Taked top and a backwards upside down visor. You have to have three vapes on you. But you got two, we got you. My favorite was there was a kid and by high school, he had this tank top

that said, party with drunk sluts. We wear a t-shirt over it in class, and then once class got over, he'd take it off in the hallways where the shirts and party with drunk sluts and then just put it back on. Yeah. That guy's overdosed. He's overdosed twice on heroin.

But he lived. Like, he died twice. He was with sluts both sides. Do you think he was wearing that shirt when he OD? The paramedics showed up there. Like, we want to treat him, but we just can't.

I hate that shirt. That's like a do not resuscitate thing for old people. Yeah. Dude wanted to turn. My favorite part about this podcast is that this specific one is that we didn't even say hi to each other. We walked in the door, sat down and jumped on. Straight to biz.

Straight to biz. And my brain is... I'm not going to say by either. I'm already freaking out about dead air. It's so funny. Like, not that I was like, these guys are great guests, but in my second, I'm like, I haven't podcasted in four days, man. I'm going to totally...

Yeah. Is that how long... I mean, I only do mine once a week. I started doing it two or three times a week, But then they were so backlogged. Like, probably the last episode is me talking about, like, the election or something. Just because of how fucking far it is. The Obama election.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's just, it's months in advance. Yeah. Did he do two terms? Yeah. He did four things. He was still in office. Black don't crack.

He was, um, yeah, I remember him in the dark night being like the same year. Whoa, dude. Oh. Well, it wasn't a racial thing. He was a light-skinned. Light skin night Like it looks like great a title Yeah

Yeah I took acid and watched The Dark Night and I came up with I had an epiphany Can I tell you all the opinions? Yeah, the whole movie, The Dark Night with Heath Ledger as a Joker

The whole movie is Yeah people that know They're thinking of a different one I can explain that Wait is there another one? No, you said with Heath Ledger's Joker Somebody's gonna be like I was thinking of the Dark Night

The Serbian movie It was about a soldier I'll keep going So the whole This is such a bad Dumb epiphany So the whole movie is The Joker trying to get Batman

Out of hiding to finally Because Batman doesn't want to fight Joker He's had enough with the destruction of Gotham But Joker is like fuck this I want to fight Batman So the whole movie is the Joker Fucking up enough things To get Batman to finally fight him

And that's the I don't think I needed to do acid To actually realize that Now I think about it I think I could have just read a plot somewhere. Yeah, well, he also would have like, I feel like the Joker didn't have to do those things. If he just robbed the first bank, Batman would eventually

get to him. No, yeah. He robbed, that's the opening scene. He robbed a bank. Yeah, but it's... Batman didn't want to fight. He didn't come out. But I don't want that, Michael, don't come at me. He wasn't there. He just saw, I mean, he saw the calling card. Was he supposed to fight the card? Oh, true. Yeah, yeah. He wasn't there. Yeah, yeah. I don't know

the movie. I've never actually seen the movie Ordon assets. You think? You think Batman just watched at the bank, he's like, nah. He's just letting people die. He's like, I can't. You know what I was thinking, though? It was like when you're trying to, when you're trying to pick a movie to watch and you watch the trailer first, I would much rather just watch you explain the movie. For every movie.

Well, the great thing about my- I want Rhino Toole to explain the movie. Have you had Ryan on? Of course. Yeah. He's so fucking funny. Oh, he's late. Yeah.

The way my brain works, I'll watch a movie and then forget the whole entire thing. I'll watch a movie six times and not be able to explain it. Maybe because you keep taking acid during it. And around it. Try some popcorn. Yeah. I keep doing it. instead of popcorn.

Dude, my favorite thing is we watched that movie and we're like, we watched it literally four days ago, me and my girlfriend, and we're like, what happened to Aaron Eckhart? And apparently he played one bad Frankenstein movie and the world was like, nope. Who's Aaron Eckhart? Yeah. Two-Face.

Oh, I like that guy. Yeah, he was so good as Two-Fa. Like, I love that whole fucking thing that had going on. And then, yeah, and then he just wasn't in movies again, ever again. Because I guess he played some movie where he was like a weird Frankenstein thing. Yeah. And then, you know, he just bombed so hard on his Frankenstein. Yeah.

Apparently, fuck, dude, that'll happen. I know the movie Batman. What's another one? Batman and Robin ruined, like, they say like six careers or something like that. What?

Like, his Chris O'Donnell wasn't in anything for, I mean, eventually he got back into NCIS and that's where he was. But like, that dude wasn't in shit. The dude played Robin. Yeah. Fucking,

Uma Thurman, I don't think was in anything after that. Oh. I'm just talking directly out of my ass. No, no. I thought so it was, um,

have you guys seen Stranger Things? No. The TV show? You know what it is strange? The, have you guys seen any of those actors since that show? that came out of it and the rest are gone. Yeah, isn't it?

In other sometimes there's, like, actors that stay in movie lanes, like, show lanes. Like, you see people that are crushing it in, like, um, Ozark or whatever, and then you just don't really see them in anything else. I always wonder. It's so time-consuming.

Yeah, for sure. Yeah, for sure. Oh, yeah. I mean, that's why I don't do it. Yeah, same. Yeah, I have options. I just choose not to. Yeah.

You also look, like, you look young, you look like you could be a stranger things character. Yeah, I've been told I could be cast as a high school. High schooler. But you also have, like, You also have like The flant, like, you look like Hip, I don't know.

I'm just on set, on acid, explaining movies poorly. Yeah. But I think is I hate, I wear this Grateful Dead shirt. And the problem is, everybody who likes them sucks. And so I just got the shirt as a present. I listen to some of their music. Like, I'll throw some like Grateful Dead on here.

Yeah. It's in my shirt. Yeah. Dave didn't wear that on TV, that exact show. Oh, wow. Oh, really? Yeah, now I'm gonna burn it. Yeah.

No. You're gonna get so much pussy now. It's just like impossible. after this podcast drops, dude? It's over. Oh, I had a riff from earlier. Can I try to throw it out? Absolutely.

We're talking about Two-Face. Remember we were talking about Two-Face? You guys know actually Two-Face was named after all my exes. Oh, shit. I'll leave. Charlie. Damn, son, where'd you find this?

Who was that? What's that from? Rap music. I know, but what's the DJ's name, right? Oh, it's nobody. It's like just a sample. It's thrown in songs. It's not like a producer tag.

No. My favorite is, This is a certified hood classic. Yeah, dude, you're crying. Does that you? Yeah. Yeah. Trapaholics Anonymous.

Real trap shit. Fuck, dude. I fucking love rap music. You know what I liked was that in the beginning, you compared something happening to the dark night. What was it? The correlation. It's how it reminded you that that's when that happened. Talking about Obama or something?

Obama getting elected. Yeah, yeah. I was like, this is a dark time. No, I'm kidding. I was like, wow, the, what does he say? He's like the night is darkest before the time. What movie was coming out when Trump went in? Okay.

Rises, right, Dark Night Rises. Whoa. Yeah, yeah. No, no, no, no, no. It was way, right? Was it way earlier? Yeah, it came out way early. Dark night rises like 2013.

Okay. So, Trump would have been like five years ago, right? Something like that. Speaking of talking on your ass. Oh, no, no, no. Batman. There was a Batman versus Superman. Yeah.

It was like the months leading up to the election. Yes. I think this could be a conspiracy. Every Batman movie a new president gets... Wait. No, no, because there's one coming out this year. Okay. Dude, it looks great.

Oh, I'm so excited. Have you seen the new Spider-Man? Yeah. No, no, no. I took a bunch of mushrooms and went... I swear to God, dude. It was me and some comedy. Y'all know, Leland and Adam.

I took a bunch of mushrooms, went and saw it, and it was the best experience. The best movie I've seen in a long time. Oh, it's great. It's funny. It's funny. My thing is I took edible salt, though, but I think when I get too high and...

see some movies. I just think about how I am and I'm kind of out of it. You're like sweating and you're like we're like, we're trying to breathe. Yeah, right? Do you like, I know? You smoke a lot of weed, right? I do, but the animals are a little crazy. They're crazy, right? Yeah, yeah, I make my own because like, uh, oh, yeah, I'm out of control. Um, just like firecrackers. Um, but, what do you mean? You take peanut butter, you know firecrackers? It's very easy. There's a high school thing, firecrackers. Yeah, it's like, it's like 30 minutes to make it. Okay, what is it? Okay, what is it? Um, so you take,

Sorry, I wasn't trying to like... No, no, how about we, none of us talk? How about you shun- You shun-up? No. You take, like, peanut butter, and you put it in a graham cracker, and you throw a bunch of wheat on it, and then you put it in the microwave for, like, 30 minutes, and it actually, like, cooks it in, like, very well. Oven, right?

You don't do a microwave. It's just, like, boiling and melting all the place here. Perfect. Yeah, it's still, like, the strongest... They don't taste great, but they're really fucking strong edibles. Yeah, and it's so funny because, like, I literally take, like, none. Like I took a little bit after a show the other night And I don't know

Every time I get high I like it But there's at least a 20 minute period Where I hate it I'm scared Same oh my gosh I face it I'm like Let's fucking do this

What I'll start doing now Is I blast metal Because like I have to like face the anxiety Instead of going away from it So I'll just blare heavy metal Which is like the most anxiety Provoking music And then I'll just go through it

And then I come out the other side I like that I like just run at it Run at it Yeah yeah Head first I'm just like Ahha

The bodega line Yeah What keeps you up at night? Dude, I stay up. I'm up super late every night. Really? Every night. Yeah.

To Brooklyn? To like two. To like two every night. Oh, shit. That's nothing, bro. I was up to eight last night. Yeah. Really?

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. So I took a bunch of mushrooms. Just worked a third shift at Walmart. Did you have to take which much? No, I was just out at the bars. I came home at like three or four.

And I'm up. I'm just up. Yeah. If I'm not out in the bars, I'm also just up. I don't like to sleep. I like sleeping, but my body doesn't. That's a better way to put it. I like it.

My body doesn't want to. Also like, you're like, you're doing shit all day. So at the end of the day when you're finally home, you kind of want to take a couple of hours and just relax. Yes. I do at least. Yes, I don't want to get right to sleep because then I didn't do anything fun or not fun, but relaxing during that day. So that's when I like get really high, freak out for a little bit.

I'm being angry birds. I'm watching, you know, just over. Yeah, because I smoke probably. Why do we like things that make us freak out a little bit? every time you might even have a joke about it I think where it's like every time I smoke I'm like huh but I do it every single time I start looking out the plot for a Serbian film you know I don't know what a Serbian film is it's like this movie we're like it's like it's a one of most disturbing movies apparently ever made it's like some porn star who like they like make

him fuck his dead wife dude my friend showed me this in middle I swear to fucking God it's just it's awful yeah yeah so I keep going no no but that's just what comes out of Serbia and that nothing else yeah this is a documentary no it's like a movie, it's like a... Not a feature film, but like a fictional film. Yeah. And it was one of those independent film festivals. People were like, oh my God, so good. He rips a baby. You know, it's like... But that's like literally like...

It's like... Another case. That's just like the rock... Rock music. You're just watching like the craziest shit because you're high. Yeah, but I was just reading the pot of it. I was like, I don't know if I was watching. Oh, wow. I can't read. I can't read. Same. Oh my God. I just can't like comprehend. I can't do it. Yeah. I can't comprehend. But it's like a human centipid. Like that kind of idea with like, we're going to make the most fucked up movie. And then people are going to... It's like Saul?

Yeah, yeah Yeah, yeah Yeah, I thought I loved you Y'all remember paranormal Activity Those were scary Yeah

All right Well Yeah Just like dragging Dragin the His girl down the hallway Yeah I don't know

It's scary But it's Hey listen I was young When I watched Am I They're nothing now Dude

I can watch all Right now Dude It's no big deal I'll turn the lights off Yeah Yeah What are all y'all's

Addresses Yeah Dude you know what happened to me the other day. I was, uh, you know how like someone walks by your car? You might feel like it's a little sketching you locked the doors. Yeah. That happened to me the other day and it doesn't feel good. No. Todd told us what race. Yeah, I was that immediately going to ask that. She was an Asian lady. He's like, oh, she's going to try to drive my car. That's what he's not. He's not worried about when I lock the door. She'll hop in and crash it. Oh, she locked the

door on you. I got the door locked on me. Oh, you. I thought, you know, oh, you. I said, you know, You know, I'm like a black girl walks by and you locked the door. Well, this was the opposite. It was me this time in the car. I was walking. And they, I hate when people make it feel scared. I would take that as a compliment. I'd be like, she thinks I'm black.

That's cool. You'll ever get this when you're, I've been walking. I've walked before. There's a couple walking towards me and the guy will kind of like, like, come on, like to his girl. Be like, come by me. And I'm like, what threat am I? Yeah. What?

I'm not a threat. Like, well, then you look at Ted Bunny though and you're like, you know. Ted Bunny? Ted Bunny. Well, yeah, he was. it was Bundy's apprentice yeah

thanks for saving me on that one I really buried you there dug you a hole made you climb out of it yeah he was a good looking he was a good looking

thin guy I genuinely thought you were admitting that you locked your car door when an Asian woman came back yeah yeah no

I was walking which is the funniest way yeah I was walking my dog and she but she that's why you were scared

yeah yeah because then I know I thought you would have unlocked the door but like yeah we're filming this

But she couldn't see my dog. She just saw him, but my dog stopped right in front of her car. So I'm just standing in front of her car, but she can't see my dog. So I get it. But it's like, oh, that doesn't feel good. She thinks I'm... No, I know you're a big gun guy. Did you have all your big guns?

Yeah, and my M6C-Ox. She was terrified. Yeah, I hate... I don't like when I feel like I'm threatening other people, which is rare because I, if you can see, I'm a thin... But, like, I don't like the feeling of being somewhere where I'm not wanted or where someone feels threatened. I feel more. Constantly when I'm selling tickets on the corner for comedy shows, people are like, don't.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. And it's a lot of, you see a lot of people that live in the neighborhood. You're asking, like, the same lady every night. They're not, some people are not. I've started snapping on people. It's not good for my mental. I think this is, I think it's wrong to put yourself, to get rejected. There's something, I'm going to turn into the jokers.

This is not like a good thing. What do you mean, snap? Like, what do you do? Well, like, what will happen is, uh, people will just be like, it depends what people say. So this is, people say, no, thank you. I say, no worries. have a great night. Right?

That's not snapping. People say, no. I'm like, no worries. But people say, nope. I say, you're fucking polite. I say that right.

That was more than I thought it would be. Yeah, same, same. I was with you the other night and someone was like, uh, um,

wish I could. And, or I think they said, wish I could. You said, ah, fuck, you know what?

No, no, this is my line. If they say, if they say this, if they go, uh, sorry.

I say, sorry, you're missing it. Yeah, yeah. That's funny. Sorry. Yeah.

Sorry. Yeah. I've heard you're one of the best, no sarcasm here. Like, best ticket sellers on McDooleville. Not anymore. I used to be. Who took the cake? S.B.'s fucking solid.

S.B.'s crushing. Someone told me that someone sold 50 tickets the other. Brandon's really good. Who's Brandon? Oh, not Barrera. Truzzo. Truzzo. Yeah.

Yeah. Taruso. Fuck, dude. Trousse. Trousseau. I don't know. T.R. Trousseau.

Okay. Yeah. Yeah. Brandon's charming. He's charismatic. He's very charismatic. Yeah. Good looking.

charismatic fat cock Yeah and he doesn't wear pants Yeah He's just selling tickets with a fat cock guys Comedy show guys Comedy show When I try to sell tickets People go hey how do I not buy them

That's big money though Yeah If you're good at getting off Get them off you get your spot And you get to fucking you know Cash out Yeah but it is There's a certain point of rejection

But I've got better at dealing with hecklers From that than being in shows Because in shows they Yeah They stay there You're like oh I have a couple of seconds to think about what to say to this asshole. But like when you're walking by, I'll fucking...

You gotta get sharp. You gotta get quick. My favorite was some guy the other day, he's like, this isn't that great of one, but some guy walks by, he's like, um, I was like comedy show. He goes, do I look like the kind of guy wants to go to a comedy show? I don't know what you look like, but you sound like a fucking asshole. And the guy just squawks 10 feet and turns out and he goes, fair. Yeah, that's nice, though.

Yeah, we're glad he's not coming, though. Yeah. Sometimes I like to tell people, hey, do you have a moment I can talk to you about Jesus? They're like, oh God. I'm like, just kidding. Comedy show. That's a good one. Yeah, yeah.

When I see dudes, I say there's lots of pussy in there. Every time, it's not every time, but like a group of dudes walk by. I'd be like, yo, comedy show, and there's tons of pussy there. There's something for everybody. And they just be like, oh, I did that one time with some lesbian chicks. Like, are you for real? And it was like a fucking nice pounded moment. You're like, Kelly.

Yeah. And she pounded it. Yeah. Some people are antagonistic, though. Can I tell a quick fable? Can I tell a little fable? None of it's true. So I was at work the other day, and I was working.

at Bloomingdale's Midtown, Manhattan. You guys know Bloomingdale's department? Store clothing? You say I was working. Did you get fired? No, it's events-based. So I was working event. I would like to get fired, though. Okay. That unemployment, you know, so I'm working. And I worked

I think a 12-hour shift, nightmare. You know, kids. There's Santa Claus. I'm taking pictures in December. You're taking pictures of kids? Yeah. I was like, Santa, get out of there, Santa. Get out there, Santa. You're ruining the shot. And at the end of the day, it was like 10 p.m. stores closing and the director of the desire,

the higher up came by and he was being an asshole. And I was like, whatever, he owns me in this moment. He's paying me. I'll be his whipping boy. Is that a bad term? No, that's great. Okay, thank you. And so they leave and I'm like, all right, I'm finally done. And I see a guy with a suit and a tie. And it's, the store is closed. The store is closed down. So I go, hey, do you know what time they're officially locking up tonight. I still have some more work to do but I don't want to get locked in. And he was like, do I look like I work here? And I go, yeah, there's a suit and whatnot. He goes, this isn't what someone who works here would wear. And I go, oh, my bad man. And he goes, do you really think I would work here? And he keeps, I swear to guy.

He was going and going. And so I'm like angry. It's been a long shift. So I kind of start, you know, trying to give it back and be like, why I was like, why you bust my balls? Why are you giving me shit? And this girl that was working with really sweet girl around my age comes up. And she's like, hey, are y'all okay here? Is there? Is there any? Is there? issue and the guy goes, I don't have an issue, but your co-worker thinks I work here, so he might have mental problems.

What the fuck? How do you know? Yeah, he's had bipolar too. That's fucking wild. And at this point, I'm like, if I argue with this man, he can report me to Bloomingdale's and I'm fired. And who the fuck cares? I should have yelled at him and kicked his

cunt or whatever, but I was... You should have kicked him right in the cunt. Right in the cunt, but I was like, you know, you need money and whatnot. So I had to just let go and all the rage that was in me from that fuck. Just like a like a troll, like a real life like troll who just like poke, it sucks. He sounds like his mom rented

him that suit. Yeah. For like a funeral the day before and he was about to turn it back in. He was being a cunct. He has nothing else to do. Nothing else to do, dude. Fuck. I hate that. It's like if you have nothing to do. You have nothing to do. Exactly.

When I was back in Ohio, I saw this guy and who care, whatever you want to do, but this guy was like anti-vax with a sign on the street. And I'm like, that's cool. That's cool of you. If that's what you want to do, but like, you got nothing to do? You got nothing, bro. What day of the week? Saturday. That's different. See, Saturday, it's not different. It's funny. Friday or Saturday. Saturday. Saturday protests are always funny because a lot of people are always mad. They're like, you think I want to be out here on a Saturday in the sun with my friends, yelling at other people. It's like, yes. Washington Square Park, there's a lot of girls like protesting, like the abortion laws in Texas. I'm like, why are you doing this in New York?

Nobody is against you in New York. It's like, you're fucking go to Texas. Don't be like, I was going to hang out of the park anyways, my husband's got a fucking sign. It's like, yeah, yeah, but they're doing it to feel good. They're doing it. Yeah, 100%. It feels good to be a New York City protestant.

Like, yeah, it's a whole thing. They got some good pictures. Yeah, they got some good pictures. It was a Thursday night. It was Bloomingdale's incident Thursday night. So, okay, get a life. Go out. Yeah, yeah, that's weird. If it's a Monday, I'd be like, you know what?

I get it, man. I don't want to go back to work either. Yeah, yeah, exactly. On a fucking lunch break. There's a night. Also, what are you doing in Bloomingdale's after it's closed, just roaming? On a third, just roaming. How did you get in here?

How'd you get in? He was one of the kids. He was 12. He was a kid with a seat on. Fight a 12 year old. So that's my fable. I was also on acid and mushrooms. Oh, yeah.

Yeah, they're shirt though I fucking ate. The amount of people that love grateful that, which I mean, it's whatever. But they fucking, I love how, dude, I'll try to get every viewer on my podcast. Like me, like, that's fine. you like the grape of bed. I'm thinking about individual. Right now, everyone's hit that fast forward.

Like, he's talking about the fucking dead again. 15, 15, 15. 15. Are those corduroys? I love it. They are. I love corduroys.

Yeah, man. I thought I was a dork for there. Are these quarters? I thought I was a dork for wearing. My girl got me these actually. I thought corduroes were dorky. They're in. I don't have it a long time.

Thick corduroys. Those are thinner lines, but like those thick, thick corduroys. Big boys. Big wharys. Bayee. And baney. meaty quarter-roats.

Yeah, yeah, they're cool. Yeah, very vascular pants. You got some girth to those. Yeah, they're great quartz. But I wear this fucking shirt and people, it's so funny the conversation that I'm around on the train and this guy literally is like, you see them in fucking O-A? I was like, God, damn. It was the worst conversation I've ever had in my life. The guy's like, I saw him in O.A. It was fucking sick. I'm like, yeah, great, man. And the next thing you know, it's like hours.

Like, it's probably a 30-minute train ride and this guy just will not. I don't know how to tell them. You almost get off. What's up? You almost get off and go to another car. Yeah. You should have taken the shirt off. Just taken off right there.

Oh, yeah, I don't actually. I don't know what these are. I hate them. Yeah. I hate them now because of you. Yeah. Yeah, they, I'm too nice to people. Like, I get in deep conversations, uh, with like, a lot of homeless people.

Um, like this happened. The other day, there's one guy who's so annoying. He's always telling me to get a job, but he's fucking homeless. He's like, he can get yourself a real job, man. I'm like, dude, what the fuck is? He's got this, like, long beard. It's, where is it? You can wear a mask for COVID if you have a beard.

It just always looks funny. He has a giant beard It's coming out of the bottom Yeah And But I found out He's very scared of COVID So it's fucked up

But I will cough To get him to go away Oh that's great But I don't have it So I had the three weeks ago So I don't have But he'll be like Oh what do you have COVID

I'm like yeah And he'll come back And he does this weird thing We're at the park Where he'll He'll You probably see him around Before Washington Square

Not Washington Square Park The one park He's like hey $10 dollars I can make it from here He's always play basketball Yeah he's always He makes his money

Just doing Not Washington Square What park? The one by washing school, wherever that basketball court is. Oh, right by. Oh, never mind. I know exactly you're talking about. And three doors.

Yeah, yeah. I know exactly you're talking about. Three doors down. And I watched him. I didn't bet him and he was pissed. And then I watched him miss it. And I was like, fuck, I should have. Yeah.

He might hustle you though. Oh, for sure. You don't fuck with people like that. They're just like, I'll make this if you, let's bet everything on my life. And I'll make. You're like, I'll just give you $10. So for me to walk away. He comes up to me all the time.

He's like, you know, I'm getting out of here, right? You know, I'm leaving. I'm like, I don't have the heart. Like, but I'm so close to just being like, I don't want to talk to you. But like, I feel like, I get some headphones and just keep them in and just get it. It sounds like you guys have a good relationship. No, he tells me to get a dad. Yeah. It's like, the idea of hurting his feelings feels so bad.

Like in my mind, I'm like, this guy's going to cry. Oh. He seems that unstable? Maybe. I mean, he's just coming up to random people telling them they should get jobs instead of selling comedy. Oh, not the hooper? It was the same guy. Oh, okay.

Yeah. I had a hopeless guy whispered that he hated me today. Oh, wow. I wasn't even mad. I was just kind of like, eh, I'll take the feedback. I'm just walking by smoking a cigarette.

He goes, I fucking hate you. I was like, oh my God. Fair. Yeah, I do look ridiculous somehow to you. I almost fought the one eye blind guy.

Yeah, same. He used to be a, one eye and the other one is blind. Really bad luck. Really bad luck. He's got one blood. and he's got like a wind.

It's like deep, but also it's like it's high pitch, just a little bit of both. She sounds like Cleveland Jr. from family guy. Damn, why are you being such a big news? He sounds like that. It's so funny because I remember

he's normally like, I mean he's whatever, he's got a blind in one eye. It's very murky. You think you could see the future in it maybe? Like there's a storm in a whole universe in his face. Yeah. Yeah.

That's so funny. But he'll like, you know, he'll whatever get in my face. And then I was like, he's like, do you have any money? I go,

no, he goes, fuck you, comedy faggot. I was like, Hey, well, what about the blind guy?

You said that was at the show. Yeah. Oh, you talked about that. I'll talk about that. Oh, that's great. But,

uh, yeah, and then I get into it with blind people. It's his thing? Is it? You see this next guy arguing with blind people. Yeah.

But, uh, it's right for the, the cellar and I'm like, dude, fuck off. Literally go fuck yourself shit. He's like, oh, you want to fucking go? He starts taking his fucking thing out. He's like, I'll fight your ass right now.

And then he's getting like, like, literally like, basically swinging at me. And I was like, I'm not going to fight for the cellar. And, you know, it's not worth it. And then... You fight in the cellar. Exactly. Exactly. And then I go to, I was barking for the...

That was the pair. And then I was barking for the lantern. And I was like, oh, I was talking to S. She's got like three tasers. She's got, you want to borrow a taser? I'm like, yeah. Almost tased myself, by the way. like so close to doing it because I held it backwards. Yeah. Oh my God. It's just like a metal stick.

Oh, we've seen. I've seen Sby Stasie. The purple one. Oh, okay. So it's not like those are the prongs. Here's the buttons. No, no. She has one that's like literally looks like...

Cal prod? Yeah. No, she has one. It's literally just like a metal tube. So like you don't have a switch. I haven't seen tube. Yeah. And she gave it to me and I'm just getting ready.

And the guy comes like, he goes, hey man, I'm sorry about yesterday. Uh, uh, can have some money? I'm like, no, this was an hour ago. No, you can't have any money. You try to fight me in Howard, you're fucking psychopath. It was 10 seconds later. Dude, I've had that habit. It was the dude tried to spin kick me.

And then later he's like, hey, man, can I have some money? I go, you literally try to make me. He goes, my favorite was that guy tried to spin kick me. He tries to spin kick me. He hits me like the back of his hand, like in my face. And then I was, what the fuck? He goes, oh, I'm sorry. Like, he, like, he bumped into me.

And then I was like, yeah, you spin kicked me. And then I tell him, I was, you literally just fucking try to spin kick him. He goes, no. I was like, yeah, he goes. He goes, I don't think so. I go, yes, you did. He goes, okay, maybe. You can make a cartoon out of these people.

I love the voices. Also, he's... Obviously, he's... Obviously, it's a bit changed, bit change? I know all the way. So well. You're turning into them barking so much. No, too, yeah, literally, yeah.

In 10 years, my girl's going to start spin kicking people. Yeah, dude. He'd be like, no, I didn't. Well, what's wild, too, is he's out there. Like, he said sorry after he accidentally hit you. He's out there just spin kicking people, her betting that they're not going to attack, like,

retaliate. And I'm not going to fight. Right, you know, you don't want to. Unless somebody like, but someone will. Yeah, unless I'm actually feel like I'm in danger, then I will. What would it take for y'all to fight?

So I hate fighting? So what would it take for y'all to fight someone? Somebody call me gay. I'm sure. Dude, my fucking gay. Oh, no, my fuck chicks. I fuck chicks. That'd be the funniest.

He was like, hey, what are you gay? Just you get a piece of a guy. I'm straight. That happened, though. That happened the other night. I was at a party and there's a guy I'm bisexual, what up, and there's a guy there

very cute and we were flirting. I know flirting. I've been in this world for a while. I know when I'm flirting with another man. It's when they're talking to you. It's when they can't hear me breathing behind them. They can't see me through their window. That's second base. And so we're flirting.

night and he's friends with my brother's friends and I go up my brother and I'm like hey the mark or whatever is so cute and I think we're flirting you think I have a chance my brother goes no no no he's gay but if you bring it up with him he'll try to fight you. Damn. He's that guy that we're just making a joke but he is that

fucking guy. Oh wow. Even ask him like hey are you on queer you want to maybe like you're attractive he'll fight you but as he hasn't came out yet he doesn't come out yet no and he's he's a union plumber and he's from upstate New York. And so, I mean, he's a beautiful

man, but he's like a piece of shit. And he's a plumber? It's a plumber. Well, that's why if you're, thinking about if you're closeted guy, because you're always trying to... He's trapped in a book sink. No, you're just around... Yeah, you went... Pony with it. He's just around union fucking brutes all day.

You can't be gay. I mean, I felt, I felt bad for the guy, but then I was like, you know, you're trying to kiss or whatever. That's the closest he's going to get to a man's just working on the toilet. Yeah. He's like, uh, That's That's gotta be

Just a terrible feeling Every day Like just fighting it Closing Yeah, pushing it down I can't imagine Did you like, were you like Immediately like gone by?

No, I pushed it down for years I hate it Yeah, yeah When did you like Serious podcasts When did you like to like find out? I knew when I was like 10 or 11 When I started being into women

It was both So I was like Oh so it's immediately both Yeah Not but yeah It was when I When I started getting hormones of any way it was towards both gender.

So I was like, but I always thought I was like defective. I thought I was like fucked up for like guys. I thought it was like a sin. I was raised in like a Bible area. So I thought it was like a sin and all this stuff. Yeah. I think every time I come on here, I always steer it towards my trauma.

And I plan to do that to do that every time. No, I like hearing that you're suffering. Yeah. No, yeah. That's gotta be, especially because I mean, I grew up in Florida and like,

people are like, the homophobia's not. I'm like, no, it is real. Yeah. It's very real. Not in New York, thank God. I mean, people will hate you in New York, but not for your, not for being gay or just because they hate you.

Just because like, fuck you. Just if you're gay and walking slow. Yeah, that's it. Yeah. I was actually, I was in Midtown. I don't think I've ever seen a gay guy walk slow, though. I feel like, no, right? Do they speed?

Yeah, yeah. My favorite is, I saw like a gig. I think I told you about this. There was, I was selling comedy club tickets. Gay dude. Full suit. Roller blades. He had his Bluetooth in.

I was like, comedy show goes, no, thank you. I'm working. And then just like, right. That's off. What is his job? I loved that. Yeah, I was like, fucking... Oh, my God.

Yeah. Yeah, I got yelled at the other day. I was in Midtown. I was on 42nd Street in between, like, 5th and 6 Ave, and there's no one... Like, it wasn't Times Square. It was just Midtown, dude, no one around. And this guy asked me for... He goes, hey, boss, are you from here?

And it looked like, he didn't seem homeless. He just seemed like a guy, and he looked at you on directions. He... We were in the middle of the Avenue, so it seems like he was going to be like, is that way, fifth ab or is that way, fifth ab? So I was like, yeah, I'm from around here. and he goes, he's immediately, my wife left me, my car got towed, and he starts rambling. And I was working.

And so I was like, sorry, man, I don't got time for you today. Thank you very much. And he immediately starts to call me the F word, the gay slur, just yelling it at me. And, I mean, he wasn't wrong. But it was just like, it was like people in New York, they'll identify the one thing about you. And then that's what they'll fucking get you for. You know what I mean? Like, it didn't matter what I was or did.

It just he found the one thing that I looked like. It was like, that's you now. and just yelling it at me. Yeah. But that's also like I've been called the fact, like, so many times New York City.

It's so weird because like the South is like, people will say it more jokingly in the South, but I've been yelled at it more in New York because people are angrier. One like someone's spin kicking you,

they'll call it. Yeah, yeah, exactly. Yeah, but it's, yeah, it's a weird thing with the, yeah, the homeless community has not yet became less homophobic. No, no, no, no.

But, uh, I'm not really scared to homeless people anymore. I used to be, but it's like, bomb home, like, they, a lot of them don't want to fight you, they don't want to fuck, they don't want to yell at you

and they want to, if I can get up in your face, but, like, well, they're tired too. They don't have, like, they don't have a full, you know. Yeah, well,

that's my, my choice of brain, like, I'm thinking, I always weigh it out because I'm not even kidding, the amount of times I've almost gotten in a fight

with a homeless person, probably like 15 now. How many times have you? All blot. Yeah, all blind. I'm like, yeah. Oh, I still gotta talk about the blog at this.

Yeah, I'll talk about that. But it's so funny, because in my mind, I'm weighing it out. Like, in my mind, I'm like, is he drunk or is he on met? Like, every, like, when that guy was taking a shirt off, I'm like, okay, how much food do you think he's really had today? How much protein does he have? Like, I'm like, is he hydrated? Like, I'm immediately sizing him up. Like, it's like a video game, it's like, you know, Aaron 24.

Like, scanning him. Yeah, yeah, yeah. What's his BMI though? Is that what is his BMI body mass index? Yep. Exactly what is. dude. And his,

this dude's bad as shit his is negative dude. He's got nothing. He's built up of drugs. Yeah, that dude,

that dude's pretty fat, the blind one. The blinded one out guy? Oh, is he? I remember, Sve gave me pepper spray at first and I was like, I don't know if that's effective.

He would have ate it. I would have went in and it came back fucking out of his, there's no other hole. You went like that. I was like, what other hole are you going to use?

The Wobloid guy was funny because This is like a couple weeks ago. I sold him tickets to a show. And then he's like, yep, let's go. I was like, okay. And then it was one of those where I didn't realize like, I was like, all right, yep, it's, you know, right over here.

He goes, I can't see shit. He's like, I'm blind as a bat. I can't see anything. So can you, you're going to have to show me. And I was like, yeah, fine. So I start walking him. And worst blind dog in the world. His dog literally walked him directly into a pole.

Like, directly. Jesus Christ. He comes in the showroom, almost falls down the stairs. I think he's like shit-faced. Hell yeah. If I were blind, I'd be fucked up all over. Oh, yeah, yeah. All the fucking time.

Yeah. He, uh, he kind of stumbled downstairs. And then he's like, hey, where's the bar at? And I was like, oh, it's over here. And I, because you don't know how to be like, you don't want to be aggressively condescending. So you're like, yeah, he can figure it out, which he can't. Like, I'm upset the reality of it. He's not going to.

Yeah. I tell him where the bar. I'm like, yeah, the bar is right over here. And I walk him like slightly. I'm not going to, like, touch his hand again. You know what I mean? I'll do that thing if he wants to do. But I just didn't want to be disrespectful.

and he walks right out the door of the venue like by accident, thinking he's like, he's going full out and then... It's an outdoor bar. And I was joking around, I was like, what was he gonna fucking heckle everybody? And then apparently he heckled every single comic. And then I

get on stage and I'm like, I'm gonna, I got some, you know, I'll give him some stuff. And then he did say a single word through my said and I was like, oh, I just have all these mean things to say about blind people. It'd be funny if you still went into? Even though he didn't say anything. You're like bombing. You're like, oh, by the way, fuck you, blind.

You know what look like? You know what you look like? You don't know what you look like. He's got a fucking eyes. Yeah, how do blind people color coordinate? That's my question. I used to think it would be funny because there are sticks.

The dog can't see colors either. So it's funny. I used think it would be funny because they always give you a red and white stick. I thought it'd be funny if like, they ask them like, what color stick do you want? They're like, I'll take a green one. They're like, I hear you.

Like, they would never know. No matter what they give red and white. That's so funny. That's the funny is Ray Charles thing. Because like, he would apparently feel girls' wrists to tell if they were fat or not. Whether you don't have sex or not.

But people would like... I respect him a little more now. He with money... I can't see, but I'm still not in a fat bitch. He's like, come on, dude. I can't see you, but my friends can see you. Apparently, he's not blind. I'm not the first...

No, people do think that's the thing. Yeah, yeah. I mean, he's dead, so he's blind now. Is he dead? Yeah. When did Ray Charles die? Like 15 years ago? Fuck me.

Damn it, dude. You're thinking of Stevie Wonder. Yes. Oh, my God. I am. I heard Stevie Wonder wasn't blind. That's what I'm thinking of. Wait, who's Ray Charles?

He's a guy loved heroin and he's from Georgia. Watched the movie Ray. It's a good movie. Played by Jamie Fox. Putting it on my list. Putting it on my list. Great movie. He's got good music.

They've never sprayed him every day before so he would like be mad at it. I'm just kidding. The director's like, I want you to really be blind for this scene. It's like, okay. Just, ah, fuck. How far would y'all go? It was a cop, though. Well, this works from seeing.

It was the South. It was different times. What were you saying, sorry? Oh, no, it's okay. It wasn't funny, but your thing was funny. So it's like, how far would you all go like method acting? Like, you know what I mean? If you got hired for a film and they're, say,

okay, basic example, say like, hey, this character is stranded on an island for a month and he has a meal a day that's equivalent to, I don't know, candy, but like, would you do the worst fucking revenant bullshit for a movie? How long is the movie? the movie itself

How long is like the like filming of the movie Man well no I'm just saying like I don't have a specific example like would you They gotta do reshoots that's like it's There's a lot that goes into it Because you know what I take my question back I respect the method acting thing Do you? But yeah I think it's cool

But like try it but I wouldn't like But like once we're not Then I wouldn't get help it I would do it all day long You know what I mean? Probably all like that Jim Carrey bullshit Right yeah Jim if you're listening

I hate you out of pod though, like, talking about Louis and be like, Louis, Louis's not listening to your pod. No. He's listening to mine, so. Yeah, I don't know. There's some interesting ones at the method acting. Like, the worst is, best is Jared Letto did it

to play the Joker and then he did a horrible job. His Joker's so bad. Yeah, I know. So bad. He got grinned. He's like, I'm the Joker, y'all. It sounded so fucking bad. He literally had, like, a speech at me. He's like, yo, I'm a fucking gangster, bro. It was horrible. Recreum for a dream, though. Great movie.

I haven't seen it. A great movie. Recreum for a dream. He plays a heroin addicts. Oh, that's not far off. He looks like him. Same voice, too. Just drolling all over himself.

I met him selling comedy club tickets. I was like, you want to check out a comedy club tickets? He was like, no, thank you. He was no, I'm Jared Leto. Yeah, he's like, I'm getting updated to that. We've also seen Michael Keaton. What?

Yeah. Who is Stephen Stevie Van Zant, the guy from Sopratos? Do you guys know what I'm talking about? No, we keep going. He walks around the West Village. I'll tell you where's that bandana. Stephen Van Zand. He used to be in a, who was that Jersey,

singer, Bill, Billy, the biggest jersey band you can think of. Billy Joel. Billy Joel. Yeah, no, no, no, fuck. Oh my God. I am all over the place. But yeah, there's a guy from the Sopranos. One of Tony's two guys, Stephen Van Zanzant, Stevie. You're not thinking of Billy Joel. You're thinking of

the other guy. Yeah, who am I thinking of? Bruce Springsteen. Yes. Bruce. I thought he was Boston. No, Bruce's Jersey. And so, but this guy, like, there's a bunch of character, like, Andre 3,000 will walk around Soho. Like, there's a bunch of, like, really famous guys who's like to hang. I saw Eric Andre, by Joey Bats when we were doing a mic one time.

What? Who was on state? No way, what did you say? I didn't say anything to him. I saw him in the corner of my eye. No, you know, Jack, Reichert is so fucking cool because Jack was trying to bark him for a show that was going to be there

and was walking with him and they walked by and he was like, oh, that's stand-up comedy. And he was like, yeah, oh, that's Nick Taylor. He's from, he's just moved him from Ohio, blah, blah, blah. Wow. I just want to have his way to just say something. I fucking love, Jack got me a job. Oh, yeah.

I don't want to tell you. Okay. So. I forgot we were doing a pod for a second. You guys want to do something else? We're sitting on the couch. Totally forget about it. That'd be a great way to add.

You guys want good smoothies? Do you have a good smoothie spot around here? Yeah, great one. Cool. So I haven't been here long enough in New York, though, that I still, like, when I see a famous person, I get shook. Yeah.

I do. Yeah, same. It's fun. If you're one of those people, I have a friend who, whenever we're driving over a bridge, it's a beautiful view. He's that guy to be like, it's not shit. bro. Why? Let it in. Let love in your heart. If you see

Michael Keaton be like, holy fucking oh my God, it's you. Why'd be like like, yeah, I should another guy. It's not. It's Michael Keaton. It's not another guy. It's a guy. But my thing though is with, you still want to be professional with comedy, though, because I think it's annoying to where people were like, dude, I should go talk to him. I'm like, no the fucking shouldn't.

What are you going to tell him you like him? But that's because we do comedy. We're not we're not acting. You know what I mean? Oh, 100 percent. Yeah, no. If I saw like, uh, riffraff I had 100% come up to him. Oh, my. That's his go-to, rip-rah. If I saw Waka flaka, I bugged the fuck out.

Oh my god. My favorite, my favorite Waka moment is there's this, like, there's this kid, and he's, like, he jumps on stage in the middle of Waka concert. I was there, and security tries to take him off stage, and then Waka, like, pushes security away and grabs the kid. And it just goes in and does, like, a duo with the song. No. Kid Fulni Bleran ends. And Walker. Oh, Waka's like, yeah.

It's like, 2010. So Wauke is, like, love. Just, like, jamming with him having a great guy. He's one of those islander boys. Yeah. He looked like an island boy. That kid recently lost his job because of that video. Wow.

Just dropping N-bombs. Just dropping him on stage, this kid. Well, that was like 2000. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. 2010. That was cool. I like how you keep saying 2010. Yeah.

Dude, I'm telling you, people have amnesia. Do this. Get yourself in trouble. Go on Facebook. Look up the N-word and see how many people have posts up that still have it. What? Yeah. I looked it up the other day.

I was just curious. I was like, yeah. I'm scared. look at us. There's for sure in words on my Facebook. If you go back, like whether... Like a week, yeah. There's gonna get people out to the show. Yeah, it's controversy.

There's a bunch of mine in the future. Is it raining? No, no, no. That thing was shaking. How are we doing? You guys are doing great. I'm having a great time. I had a long day at work. I'm a little nervous.

Yeah, yeah. But I want us to elaborate. on the N-work. What's your favorite way to spell? I thought it by myself. It's my favorite way to say it. So let's consequences. With the, Michael wishes he was that kid.

They got brother. God damn it. It was like trying to catch a shirt in the audience. He's like, no, me, me. One guy says it. If he's nobody of one guy says, the audience, he goes, no, not you. He's like, this kid only.

Just super bad at him. Fuck, I love Walker, fuck it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And I'm not 100%. That's how I remember it happening. It's possible that he didn't, but I'm like 95% sure that's what happened. I mean, he was singing every word of his song and like, that's how I remember it. I'm just, I'm just saying, I think that's why I have.

Every story ends in somebody saying the end word. What's the, is that the coolest rap concert you ever been to? No, riffraff was the best I've ever seen. Yeah. I swear to God, dude, he was like, he was two hours late to this music festival. And they were like, we don't know where riff rat. They literally, the DJ performance was like, we do not know where riffraff is right now. Over a beat.

Yeah, yeah, I swear to God. It was Matt Deason Block Party. We were, we, we, we, we, we don't know. And then he comes in just like, yeah. And then just fucking blow it. It was like amazing stage president. Him and some 41, two of the best stage presents. I've seen a fucking Robert plan of Led Zeppelin.

I've seen the Rolling Stones. Of Rolling Stones? Yes. Full before that one dude died, yes. Yeah. And riffraff was the best. Oh, this was at a festival. Yeah, but they're,

weren't all the same shit. Oh, okay. Yeah, yeah. Riffraff seems like a great performer. Dude, amazing. Just gets in there. Candy Gray Mercedes just like saying. Just speaking total abstract.

And we were just like, fuck, yes. Make what's your favorite rap concert? Dude, I went to a Lowellang Gucci Man concert. That's fucking soon. It was dope. Los, Columbus, Ohio, 2008, and December.

It was cold. But, dude, we got so fucked up on the way there. Blunts. Yeah, say more. Lil Wayne, there were so many people that came out and did time before Lowell... I was sober by the time the way I got on stage. It was so long. Yeah.

But it was dope. Can you name any of the people who opened for him by any chance? No one other than Gucci man, but Gucci wasn't even like he was big already, but he wasn't... He wasn't post-prisoned Gucci. No. Right? Before. Before.

He got so good when he got sober. So good when he got sober. Fat out of shape. He was dope, though. I remember I bought a tall tea from the kios to. Oh, hell, yeah. I was like, yeah, I still have it. Sweet Lowellan shirt in front of a Mayback, but I was like, let me get that in a large.

They were like, we got you. Got home. It was a tall team was like a three XL. Down your fucking ankles. I was like, fuck it. It's just, I just have it. They don't give a fuck, dude. They're just trying to get money.

They're just trying to throw shirts at people. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's fucking all. Yeah, I saw, I want to see Gucci. I know a lot of people that went to people like that and they didn't, like, my brother went to Gucci and Gucci just like didn't show up. Um, shit. JuCJ did the same thing. Yeah.

Sometimes I get too fucked up Yeah I mean it makes sense Yeah I saw a little John And I was so I met him too I went to

It was like in spring break Like I think like five years ago I went Everybody's like low key Like do little John's gonna be here Right yeah okay And then we fucking He comes out

He's hammered And he's like Shots shots Like does Shots That's it he goes I'm too fucked up for this He goes

I'm too drunk To do my job And I go Dude your job is being drunk I just want you To yell dumb shit In the background Like party

Like do this And then I remember the next day I saw him. I was like, hey man, can I take a picture? He's like, which is fair. I mean, I'm like, he's just hung over in the Bahamas. He's like, I'm not taking a picture of everybody. Lil John's an asshole, bro. That sucks.

Yeah, yeah. Cancel him. I did a, I made a sweet painting of Little John in high school. No fucking way. Got a good grade on it. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, I crushed it.

I wish I still had it. Yeah. I would take it. I would have brought it out. If I just brought it out right now, what would have it with me. I saw Wayne and Da Baby in 2020, in 2020. January 2020. Oh, fuck yeah.

for the Super Bowl 49ers After Party? What? Yeah, I was working. That's fucking sick. So it was me and... That's when Rockstar product came out. Brenno Lamborghini fucking CopCon.

Oh, it is. Oh my God. Yeah, he didn't do it. Is that Wayne? I don't think that's Wayne. No, that's the baby. Yeah. Oh.

This ain't no guitar. It's a Glock. Oh, yes. He's got some of bangers, yeah. He's so... He's one of it. At rapping. What?

He's one of your favorites? I like I like his rap. I like Tababy. And the things he said, whatever. I'm going to say this. I want to hop in this. I think what he said was more confusing

than anything. I understand what he meant by it. He was like, yeah, my fans don't have AIDS. My gay fans don't have AIDS. And I was like, because like, okay, the beginning of what I heard of it

didn't sound home of, like, what he was saying was he was like, what I heard of it was he was going and he goes, put your hands in the air. If you're not going to get some horrible disease, it's going to kill you in a week like AIDS. He's like, yeah, we're not going to die.

And like, I think he was like, it sounded originally like it was like, we're happy to be. Bro, yeah. A weird way to say it. Dude, he was just... But then he said, like, my fans are gay, but they don't have AIDS. Which is technically not homoph-it.

It's just weirdly, like... It's, it's homophobic adjacent. It's like... It includes homophobic people, but is he also, like, not, like, interviewist drug users to get... It's weird. I think he was just as drunk as little John, but he did his time. He stayed out.

Yeah, that's what he... He stayed out there. Liljohn knew into, like, gay shit. He was going to say some gay shit. Yeah. Oh, man. Dude, we were at this... So, we were at the concert.

I was at the concert. I was sober at the time. So I was just like chain smoking cigs. And there was like no one had that after because the 49 is lost that year. So no one went to the after party. The team was there. The team's family was there. Little Wayne was there and DeBaby was there.

And they were getting paid to perform. So I'm all the way in the back. It's this big auditorium in Florida, right? Yeah, Florida. And DeBaby goes up and I'm like, yeah, whatever I had the baby. And then Wayne goes up. And I've been like a Wayne stand since I was like 10 years old. So I see him in person.

And I bug the fuck out. I'm supposed to be working and I leave my shift. I fuck this job. I leave. I go to the, like, third row back in the crowd, because there's not that many people there. So I'm, like, 40 feet from Wayne. And I light, like, I said, I'm sober. And there's people, so I can't, like, smoke weed. It's Florida. So I light up a SIGs. I love SIGs. I'm, like, rapping every fucking word of the song I know. Every word.

No one was filming. It was fine. You get on stage, just yell the N-word. It was still the same thing. That's so funny. And you just go back to your shit like nothing. I was like, no, you can't work here anymore. You just yell the N-W. Next, big smiles.

And I worked for a photo booth. I don't know if that's clear. And so I'm fucking rapping every word. And it's like he does it, Wayne's headlining. So he does a long, he does all the hits. He does the new stuff. Carter 4 or 5 had, Carter 4 had dropped recently. So he was doing all new stuff from that, all the old hits.

And at one point, my coworker who's also comic comes up behind me. And I look bad. I'm like sweaty and smoking sigs up in there. yelling and everyone else is like kind of like just say hey wait and I'm like way too much you know and so my friend comes up behind me and goes hey man our boss is right next to you I look to my right and the boss

the guy who was running the event who was my boss at the time is just staring at me just sweaty smoky yelling cursing just staring at me and the next day my my manager like text me was like hey man what the fuck happened last night and I was like what do you mean and he showed me the email

this man chewed me out in an email got to get me fired just for enjoying way and he was like I was smoking I was doing drugs I was yelling profanities and I was like well yeah it's Wayne what are you gonna do? What is rapping? What is a pussy party from? I think of like an

Italian guy who wears like a vest He was like a vest and a lot of gold So let me let me pepper this in I don't know if I I think I probably should have said this earlier Me and my friend we were supposed to work a five hour shift we were very tired and angry We worked zero hours of that five hours So they might have been pissed by

And he also took a lot of food there was a lot of things that they chewed us out for but the the cherry on top was me with wayne but it was worth it I would have got fired over you got to be that close that's that close dude oh my god I could have kissed him oh the hard part about rap concerts is though I hate when they have a song and there's so many verses on it by different people that like only one person from that and you're like your favorite songs they're like you're just in them every other verse and they're like I'm hopping on the next first yeah yeah also though Sometimes you're out of concert and you're like, I know Drake is on this song.

What if Drake comes out? I've never seen that. I haven't either, but I'm always hoping. One thing I will say I was sick was because the baby was like kicked off rolling loud because like his rant. And then what's his name? 50 cent brought him out. And that was the cool one of the coolest thing I've seen. He jumps into the crowd with like a microphone and singing like rock star.

And he's getting what's it called? Crowdsurf. Crowdsurf. I've found out I've been dropped crowd surfing. That was my favorite. You've crowd surfed. Multiple times. What?

Twice. From Florida, that's how you get your license? No, yeah. Yeah. Just like at the end of a joke, just like, thank you for your sacrifice. The gods will be pleased. And that's why women be shopping. Yeah. I did a blink 182.

It was perfect because it was like, they always end on dammit, so I know how they end. So I'm like, you know the song? It's like, I don't know. One Blueprint. I guess this is growing. Okay, never mind. Blink 82 or 182? I'm not killing.

Blink 182. Is it a band? Yeah, it's a band I don't know Or are they the one who put the albums on your phone Even though we didn't want them on our phone That's you two That's you too

I don't know Is that are they Mr. Brightside I'm starting to get what the baby's saying about you people Yeah Dude Blingway 2 was old school They were like I was just I was ignoring I was thinking of the meanest thing I could say

Because I was like I love Blingway 2 Like blink 180 Jew No I don't know I didn't do something What would that be like The Beast was Oh yeah yeah All the songs are just whining, complaining.

I crowd surfed. Then I have to do Blink 1.80 Jew. I'm sorry. What songs are they have? All the small things. They have Dammit. Damn it would just be... Darn.

Gosh, sorry. They had bangers, bro, but I don't... I don't remember. What's my age again? What would that be in the Jewish age? I'm trying to do Blink 118 Jew, but I can't... What do you mean do Blink 118? I'm trying to find a Blinkwood A2.

I'm trying to roll with the rich. Okay, let's do it. No, let's do it. So, I don't know any of their songs. So you guys go ahead. They might be anti-Semitic now. I can't think of anything that could relate to Jewish people. I believe they're from out in San Diego County area.

Only one of the original members was. Or you're saying was from there. No, no, no, only one of the remaining being... Sorry. Only one of the band's first members is still in there. There's three members of the band. The drummer left. And he's still doing it.

Yeah, Mark Hopp is the only one. But he has cancer, so they're out to, yeah. Check it out. Anyways, hey, I had a homie. I lived in San Diego for a while. That's so funny. I lived in San Diego for a while. I got a homie out there who's a rock star.

He, him and his buddies were renting a space out at, it was just a giant warehouse that was so grungy, and it was just for musicians to run out of space to practice. and it was the same place that Blink 182 started at. And I would go there, I'm not a musician, but I would go there and get stoned and just kick it with my homie

while they would practice. It was like rock music shit. That's cool. Yeah. Yeah. So just being in that sweaty Blink 182, the beginnings of it,

you know what I mean? Oh yeah. It's like a fucking awesome. It's like a, you know, this is, if they were like, if Blink 1182 was like really sticky one day, you could call them Blink 118y goo.

I like that. So do you guys have any spots for me? I'm not booked. I'm just, man. Man, this is the biggest I failed at riffing on Blink 1.82. I'm not trying so hard.

Give it up. Here, let me find a... All the small things. Let me find some song titles. What's my age again? All the kosher things. There you go. Sort of.

All the... But I went crowdshirted for them twice. Some 41 is when I got dropped. I want to see some 41. And that was when I realized I was gaining ways. I got fucking dropped on my head when I tried near surfing.

It was awful. I got you. Blink 1182 has a song called First. Blink 180 Jew has a song called First Day and We're splitting the bill. There you. Fuck, I didn't know I'd have to go again.

That was great. We got it. We got it. We got it. Are you half or full? I'm technically full, but it's only on my mom's side. It's one of those. Oh, yeah, yeah, because that's how it works. It's how it works. So if your mom is Jewish, it's funny because it's not, if your mom's Jewish, you're fully Jewish.

and if your dad's Jewish, I think you're half Jewish. I think that's exactly how works. That's right. Okay, cool. So I'm half. Have Jewish and half gay. That's fucking dope. I know weird, dude. I just like to do a little bit of everything. Yeah. A little bit of everything. I'm also half, uh, Indian. Yeah? American. Yeah? Is that racist to say the first word? Is that first word racist now? So it's confusing. So, well, my people like to do.

We have complex feelings about this. Oh, do I get another hole in these people? I have a pair of pants. Wait, that's a really good premise. I never thought about that. Half Jewish. I'm going to write that down. Half Jew has gay.

The, um, thanks, Nick. You're welcome. It's weird because my girlfriend's like grandpa knew this Indian guy who apparently like, they liked being called. Like, it is, where's this question? My girlfriend's great, until I bring a grandpa in.

Listen, my girlfriend, this is all. It's like camera's offered. Yeah. So I don't know, but apparently, I,

some of them like being called Indians. Some of them like being called Native Americans. Yeah. So it's confusing. Call them Native Americans until they get me. mad at you for it. Change it. I call everyone Native American

until they get mad at me for it. Anybody. Sorry, keep going. No, no, that's all I had on Native Americans. Same. Hey, back to bring it

to your shirt. Yeah. Yeah. So you don't really care for the band. No, I like them. Oh. I don't love them.

I'm not like, yeah, dude, if they were here right now, fucking blow all of them. You know, I'm not like that. I thought it was one of those things where... With Blake 1 too,

I'm like that. Yeah. People were going to hate me. I lost their drumstick. Travis Barker through his drumstick. I caught it. What? No idea where it is.

What? Were you fucked up? Uh, yeah. Well, no, no. Like, it was within moving. I lost it like sober because I grabbed it. And then it's so funny because it felt the other hand to grab it. It was my friend.

And then we'll have like joint ownership of this. And then he's just like, you can just have the drumstick. And I was like, totally lost Travis Parker's drum. I mean, I don't know how. How do you even have that worth anything? You know what I mean? You're like, this is cool that I have this. But I mean, every show they throw out.

More so just a store. It's just, yeah, yeah. It was fun. Whenever I watch a drummer like with Travis Barker is it or Parker Barker? Barker is it? I'm so delusional I swear to God in my head y'all I see a guy like that drum and I go if I get out a few years Yeah I mean he's moving his foot up and down and yeah and it's like he there's like they're prodigate it just because like when I see something and understand it I think I could do it But it's like that's not how it works at all just because you get something doesn't mean you can like do it oh yeah

Well there's definitely something to it where you got to be able to do your feet your hands at the same time. Yeah You know what I mean? It's like a... You're just doing it right now. It's like a rub your tummy, head, hit your head. Yeah, yeah, I can't drum it all. I can't do two things at the same time.

It's so fucking hard. Yeah. Ringo Starr's a, he's a good drummer. He should have been in the band. You know what? Yeah. That was good.

I think we do gotta end it there, though. Oh, wait, really? Can we end it on a higher note? Yeah. Blink 12, more like... All right, here we go. Here's Blink 128 when they're having bowel movement problems.

More like blink 180, poo. Oh, shit. It's a... That sucks. Oh, that was another joke about the poop because it stunk. Oh, God. Damn, all right.

Let's quit while we're behind. All right. Where can they find you guys online? Oh, yeah. I'm at Charlie D. Comedy. Also, I have a podcast where you can hear me riff very just like this.

It's called Idiot's Catalog and it's on the Colin app. Do you mind if I plug a few things? 100%. Download the Colin app, folks. It's an app where podcasts are streamed. We record live there every week, every Sunday,

C-A-L-L-I-N. You can even call into our pod and you can hang out with us for a little bit if you want. Download calling. It's not on Android. It's coming for Android soon. Follow Idiots Catalog on Instagram, Twitter, Spotify, iTunes. Me, My co-host, Mia Faith Hammond, Leland

Long. It's one of my favorite fucking things to do in the world and follow me at Charlie D. Comedy on Instagram. What does D stand for? Dawson. Blink 182. And I think that's Follow way too zesty.

I do sketches way too zesty TV on Instagram. Thank you. Follow Charlie. I like how we did a plug to like a promotion. He's getting paid from your podcast. Oh, yeah. Just follow my Instagram. Nick Taylor, stand up.

And then I post I post some of my tweets on my story. Follow my Twitter that way because it's a different name. It's, it was already taken. So Nick Taylor stand up. I appreciate it, Michael. Thank you. Yeah.

Fuck yeah. Oh, yeah. Yeah, all right. Fuck yeah. Wait, where can they find you? You can find me? You can find me on the motherfucking street. Fighting blinds.

Fighting blinds. This is a certified hood classic.