Morning Good - This One's For Jesus Christ - Episode 149

Episode Date: January 18, 2023

Franklin Miller joins the show for the first time alongside return guest, TJ Francis. They talk about constant orgasm syndrome, Christian Walker, and the new MLK penis statue.Thanks to Franklin for joining us for the first time, and thanks to TJ as well for coming back on. Check both of these guys out at their links down below for more.Franklin is on Instagram @franklinmiller__. TJ is on Instagram @teejfrancis and hosts the TJ Francis Program with great appearances from both Franklin and Michael, so check that out as well.As always, find Michael Good on Instagram @michael_good1125 and on Twitter @agoodmichaelThis podcast was produced by Paxton Fleming, you can find him on Instagram @yaboypax

Thanks for the F Shack. Love Dirty Mike and the Boys. Hey, are you dirty Mike and the boys? How you know who we are? What's this? They called the podcast? Morning. I love that.

Yeah, it's me with the boner on the front. Welcome to morning. Now we're here with Franklin Miller. Howdy. And T.J. Francis. Howdy. And you guys are both men of God. Yeah, of course.

I love the Lord. Yeah, yeah. I was actually at one point in my life for real. Yeah. Twice, actually. Twice I gave my life up to the Lord. I stopped sex. Yeah, I gave it up.

Yeah. What did you, what made you stop sex? Was it after sex? I got religious. I got religious in, in college for the second time. To the point where, like,

I would, there was a movie on Netflix called God's Not Dead. And I watched, sorry, I watched it. And I was like, yo, that's the fuck, that's the best movie ever. That's true.

Yeah. I was like, that's it. And I was like, God is not dead. And then I was like, was actually, Was it actually a good movie or were you moved by like the... No, it's fucking terrible, dude. It's amazing they can't line that.

Besides, I haven't seen Passion Christ. I'm sure that's good. But it's amazing, there's two things... It's hard to line them up. Good, good. And a message. Good movies and a Christian message. Yeah, yeah.

There's some, I'll be honest, there's some banger Christian music though. Dude, some Christian rap. We had a station by us and it was hard, dude. Yeah, yeah. I mean, what's better than like talking about fucking like the Lord in rhythm of Kodak Black? Imagine if Kodak, he does. He goes, I got a Jesus piece. And we're like, yep, Kodak.

Talk to shit. Dude, when rappers talk about God, it is pretty hard. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Of course. Because they talk about God and they talk about playing God the next sentence. Yeah, yeah. I love God.

I fear no man. I'm God. You know what I mean? That's tough. You know who's a Christian band and sneaks it in? There's the killers. Yeah, yeah.

They're Mormon, right? Mormon, yeah. The Christ killers. Wow. Wow. Wow. Like that. Yeah.

Just a bunch of Jews. Jason David and Eli. Going out on my place. They love doing that. Yeah, they love doing that. Not all of them. Just Jason and Eli. Oh, yeah. You know what's so funny? Dude, I grew up Catholic. I became Catholic and Christian two different times of my life. And I truly have no clue, like, what the difference is between like, there's going to sound really stupid. But I don't really know what like the Judaism religion believes. So Judaism or Judaism, Judaism, the First Testament. Judegeism.

Yeah, that's what I call it. Yeah. This guy. Every religion's gay besides Christian. that'd be the funniest way for them to like try to get people to not join other religions be like you know you're gay yeah yeah yeah but um so judaism is the first book of the yeah yeah i know that statement yeah but like Torah is the Muslim version and it's the whole holy Bible plus other stuff so they see Jesus as a prophet they just think mohamma's most updated prophet I just yeah I don't really know enough about any even my own religion I don't know enough what is your current religion fucking baseball

well, dude. You know, it's my current religion, the gym. I'm back. The gym? I'm, I'm alpha shit, dude. I'm going to start taking steroids. I'm going to start being alpha. I've been working. That's a big crossover.

I know some chick from my high school. Who, like, she's like really into religion and crossfit. Well, here's why. Because you get big muscles and you got to, like God, like Jesus. You got to fill your muscles with something. So you put a cross there. Oh, that's a good point. Yeah.

Because you're like, well, how is my, it's not going to be as defined if it's just blank. Right. I need to fill up my. canvas. My body's a canvas. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's what Jesus said. He did. Yeah, yeah. Jesus was ripped, bro. He was. He was ripped. No tats, though. But if he had tats, I feel like, what would they be? Yeah, but he had piercings in his hands. That's true. Yeah. He was real big. Studs. Yeah. There was, I remember in my hometown, like, every year, they would tour the local elementary schools. It'd be like the power

team and these guys would, like, rip phone books and, like, Dude, I've seen those. Yeah. In the name of the Lord. That's awesome. I can see you doing that in, like, five years. I, yeah. Now, that's not. Now, there's a on the mic be like, all right, we're going to see these guys. That's my path. I bet I break a mic. Yeah. I'm like, yeah.

That was for God. Just see you guys know that one was for God. That one was true. Every joke that does one. I'm like, just so you guys know that one was for Jesus. It's like hamburger, but God. Yeah. That was for Jesus.

They like, dude, that's got to be such a rush. Like you probably like, when you murder and like a. Oh, yeah. It's like, it's like, hallelujah. And you're like, that's to God, but like part of it. But it's me. Yeah. God's speaking through me.

Well, I can speak a little bit on that. My dad is a pastor, and he tells jokes in the pulpit. Oh, and he kills. Church joke kills so hard because it's like the environment. It doesn't you have to be that good of a joke. No. Like, all you have to do is just like make a slight joke about a different religion or be like, be like, sister Jean knows what I'm talking about. And the crowd just like lose.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Like, oh, sister Jean did sleep with her, you know, her neighbor. Yeah. That'd be funny if he was using, if he was using bits from what confession? Yeah, that would be funny. Yeah, you shouldn't. I don't know why. right Tommy yeah this guy knows it up there's just kidding Tommy I'll see it behind the altar yeah

the communion wine the Catholics are here oh oh like that that kills proud wait there's no communion in Christianity there is but we drink like grape juice and stuff like that we don't drink oh really no alcohol you don't drink the blood of wait which uh which uh part baptist protestant i'm not catholic are you guys are you catholic uh partially so my mom side's catholic and then my dad's he's kind of all over the place with it he's christian but not specifically but we'll go a Catholic church and we got a crazy thing going on where one of our pastures is Haitian and the other one is Irish as

hell. You can't hear what the fuck is going on. Because it's the epitome of color change. It's Haitian and the pastiest white ever. And they just got an Indian guy too. So it's like you cannot You guys are like a full spectrum. I like this. But I don't understand half of what's going on. Was there some uproar in Florida when they're like, hey,

we're going to bring in somebody. And they had a bigger problem with the Irish. Yeah. Get those fucking mix out of here. here. Yeah, they're like, yeah, no, I feel like they're probably excited. Like, we're one of those communities where like, there's obviously conservative stuff going on, but then there's also just people that are like, you get those rich people that are like a little over the top excited. They're like, ooh, we got a black priest. Can we say it? Can we say it? Well, you know,

our church has a black pastor. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. And then their friends go, ooh. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay. You'll see an influx of people going to that church. Yeah. The block is hot with that church. Exactly. By the way, in the audience, no black people. No.

I was counting. That's, that's one of the games I played on Christmas is, uh, count the black people in my church. It doesn't seem like a game to play on Christmas, bro.

Yeah. Hey, Mike, what are you doing? Oh, fucking. Counted the black people. There's three. Yeah. Yeah.

What? No, just Jesus. Happy birthday. Jesus. Happy birthday. I was, I was,

I was making a full pie chart. I was like, okay, there's three Asian people in the church right now. Just because there was so little, but yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. It doesn't make it any better than I was. Yeah. It was counting. Mike goes, okay, so there's three Asian people. So somehow next year we got to get rid of that. We got to get that number down to zero. Yeah.

What did you think about church? Mike goes, I don't know, 97%. I think of it. I think of it. I guess so bored. I really like to play that game, though. The best game. We used to do this because I went to a Christian middle school. because there's a prep school. And the best game is when everybody goes to be seated and you got to be the last one to seat. So like in a whole church of people, I will stand the fuck up. And I will never lose to my brother. It's like baseball national anthems.

Yes. Yes. But that shit gets lame. It does get lame. You've seen people do it for nine innings and you're like, all right. In church, it's like my mom's looking at. She's like, what are you doing? Really?

I'm like, I can't lose this. The Lord said sit. Yeah. Remember, this is way off time. Remember when you were like, you know, in middle school and you just got the random boners in church. and you just had to sit there and just like... In middle school?

No. You mean... In Franko, what? Yeah, right. In middle school, dude, there's middle schoolers there. Yeah. Yeah, I was just looking around. Yeah, no.

No, I get them all the time. Also, the pants. Do you still? No, you're getting random? No, I'm counting Chinese people. I'm like, oh, five. There we go. Okay, so five Chinese people, four boners.

That's a win. That's a four to five ratio. Yeah, we're good. I, uh, no, but the pants, dude, whenever I wear, like, dress pants, they just get me hard, dude, because it's so soft. It's like, it feels like somebody's petting my legs.

It's the best feeling, yeah. So you on your wedding day is not going to be a good day. No, it's going to be bad. Torked. You just cross your legs. Oh, yeah, I do, I do. Hurry up. Dude, did you, you see about that guy who, there's that guy who has that syndrome.

Oh, yeah. I was talking to you about it, right? It's constant ejaculation syndrome where the guy has orgasms constantly. Dude, it's sad. He came like 10 times at his dad's funeral. Like, literally, like, kneeling, putting his dad in the grave and it was just like, how does that, how does your body produce that, much semen. He had like a, I don't know, he had like a, I don't know if he's coming the whole time,

but he's, uh, orgasming. Yeah, I'm an idiot. I thought he heard his, I thought he'd come. I thought he come. I thought he hurt his back and like something like slip. Yeah, yeah. It's something like, or a head injury. It might be the back. That makes me like just not want to do anything ever. Like if he did something simple, like picking up a box and not using his legs and now he's like, you're also like, you're also like, you're also. Oh, you're also. Yeah, but he's like hypochondriac. Yeah. Yeah. But he's like hypochondriac. Yeah. I never got that. Did you see me put the hands sanitizer on after I came in here?

I did. Well, that's probably a good idea in here. I'm fucking disgusting. No, no, no. I'm not like that. For a while over the pandemic, I was like, wash my hand every time. Now I'm like, I'll eat food. I mean, I like to wash my hands, but I'm not grossed out by it.

That, I had, like, people knew me as the weird kid in high school because I would wash my hands before I ate and, like, after I used the restroom. They thought it was like, I mean, when you're a young kid, it is a little, that's a thing to make fun of. Yeah, yeah. When you're a young kid. Now I get it. I'll do it. But when you're a kid, bro,

I mean, you could eat poop and you'd be fine. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You guys are tripping, tripping. Nah, son. Yeah, dude, if I saw some guy wash his hands before eating, he had immediately call him a bookie. Yeah, they're 100%. After we played football, he's like, oh, guys,

I actually got to wash my hands. You're like, okay. Franco's never playing football again. Yeah, exactly, yeah. Now lick my fingers and stick him in your ears. Yeah, yeah. Oh, yeah. Immediately you become the target for that shit.

Immediately, wet-willy Central. West Virginia. Yeah. Okay, that makes sense. Did you get bullied? wash your hands? I did. Yeah, I did.

Like, my first two years of high school were kind of rough. They called me the F word a lot because I would wear like, no. Yeah. Because I wouldn't wear camo. Like everybody else, I would wear like, you know, like Aqua shorts and like a white t-shirt. And they'd be like, I get it. The second you said you washed your hands, I had to hold it back. I was getting ready.

They were like, hey, are you? And I'm like, no. And it was kind of tough. Wait, so the camo shorts made you gay? No, no, no, I didn't wear him. I didn't wear him. That's so funny back in middle school. Like, dude, you're not wearing cargo shorts.

Oh, this is high school. This is high school. In West Virginia? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. It was bad. Did you, uh, did you cry? No, I don't think I cried about that. I cried about a bunch of other dumb stuff, but not that.

Like what? Some girl sneezed on your back? Probably, probably. Yeah. Probably. Was the dumbest thing you ever prayed for? Because I'd definitely prayed about somebody to, like, be my girlfriend, and it did not work out. Damn.

Who was it? No, news? I don't. stuff like, oh, God, please let this person be my girlfriend. This is definitely the one. For me, it's mostly just to get the gay thoughts out. Yeah. A couple times a day. Yeah. No, I like, I like, I like, I like, I like, I like, I like, I like, I like, I yeah. Me and Jason David have this thing going where we're like pretending to be like these alphas who are secretly gay. So every morning, I send him a picture of like a male bodybuilder and like a

G string and I'm like, good body or good morning, great body. Yeah. Have a great day, Jason. And he'll send me one back. It's the best, dude. Good morning, great body. Yeah, it's the best. Dude, I was talking to say about there's such a parallel between some of those like those the CrossFit religious guy and the secretly gay guy. You're fine. You're fine. Sorry. Yeah. There's a lot of secretly gay guys who love, well, not even secretly. There's a lot of what it just doesn't matter what gender. Just people who are obsessed with their bodies. I love those people. Yeah. I want to be that guy. I kind of do. I never will because it takes way too much effort and work that I don't give a fuck about. Right. But I would love to be a very

vain. I need eight pack body guy. Yeah. Yeah, shit's wild. In your mind, in your mind, though, you're like, if I focus for a couple months, I could do that. Because that's where you're saying, dude, that's where I was a yoaked guy. And I'm always like, I could be that. But I choose not to be. Yes. A couple months, I could do that.

Yeah. Yeah, it's great. It's great. So it's a great thing to wake up to every morning. I just took my phone and it's like a half, pretty much naked fellow. Great body. Good morning. And I reply and go, yeah, this one's better.

And then we go back and forth. Great. It's great. Great body, good morning. I just love good physiques. Nothing gay about that. No. Dude, I kind of get it, bro.

It's like I, I'm into, like, superhero stuff. Yeah. And, like, I'll see that in my feed, and I'm realizing how gay it is. Just like these, like, it's like, fucking that guy played Superman, like, posing. And they're like, that guy's ripped. And you're like, damn. Yeah. A lot of my explore page on Instagram is fellas flexion.

And I'm like, ha ha, ha, so funny. But secretly I'm like, fuck, I want to look like that. Oh, man. Yeah. What's your explorer page? It's monkey stuff. Oh, you know everything about monkeys, bro. This guy.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. monkey stuff. A lot of Down syndrome people right now. A lot of what? A lot of town syndrome people. As Michael puts it his family. No,

I'm getting that too when they're like going out out bowling and stuff like that. Dude, those guys are sick. Those guys are sick. Those guys are like WWE belts and they're like doing the moves and stuff like that

after they get strikes. A lot of micro wrestling too. Yeah, we saw that one guy, dude, there's one micro wrestler. So they all go through and say their names. Yeah. They're like, you know. They're all like, yeah.

They're all like, sweet, the tiny destroyer. And this one guy just goes, Brock Turner. And we're like, wait, isn't that the, isn't that the, yeah, yeah, yeah. And I'm like, I don't know. It's kind of like that, that Key and Peel sketch where they're like, Lamarious Equation, and then it's like Dan Smith, B.W. Yeah, yeah, it was like that. But the guys just Brock Turner.

And we're like, we're trying to figure out, we're like, so first off, that that is your name, that's a crazy name to Key. Change it. When every single little person had a different name. They were like, the exterminator, like little psycho. Yeah, yeah, psycho. Yeah. And then this guy.

was just Brock Turner. He was the last one. It's so fucking weird. Brock Turner, M.D. You're like, oh, okay. I don't know about that. The one guy,

there's one guy that, like, has, like, a moped. The rest of them, like, can walk, but there's one guy in that micro wrestling that has to use the scooter. Yeah. How was that not bigger? I mean, I guess, I guess.

You just just ask how are they not bigger? No, no, no, no, no. The sport. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. That's got to be, I get why it's also not big. Yeah. Because outside of idiots like us, yeah.

People would see that big. No. Dude, I paid him $100 just to come party at our fraternity house afterwards. Yeah. It's pretty sick. Yeah. They were like, yeah, the one dude just came in. I forgot which one it was.

And he's just like, I need coke or pills. And so I was just going around the fraternity. I was trying to get people to give him to them. Give him soul. I was somebody like, just ripped a bong. And I just walked in with a door who's like, you got pills. And I was like, do you? That's great.

Yeah, but they drove. Because they have like a pedal. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. They whipping that thing. Yeah. What else?

Oh, monkeys. Yeah, monkeys. And then the down syndrome, I get this one. You know that it's for this one society and like they're doing a song. You know, another juglo society. But they probably, yeah, there's probably some overlap. There's two groups. But you know, that song is like rock and robin.

Yeah. This like mom is singing. She's like, it's like in front of like a theater full people. They're like, do, no, no, no, rock and rob. And then there's a guy with a trombone. And I'm like, I'm sure he's like not terrible at it. And he just goes, beep, beep, beep, rock and robin. I've seen that.

I've never seen it. Is it possible? They turned the comments off. I wasn't going to jump in that. I've seen that. You might have, though. You might have hopped in. No, no.

I'll send stuff to people and they give my old little comments. We're not going to bully down with your kids on the line. No. I've seen that. I've seen that. What's your explore page? Gambling. Gambling stuff.

Jarrell. Analytics. John Mayor concerts. And that's probably why they made for. fun of you, by the way. I wasn't into him back then. Because you're like,

John Mayer, I wasn't into it back then. And they're like, shut the fuck up. You play football. Yeah. I did play football. And I wasn't into John.

You were a kicker. Yeah, but I played. I could have guessed that. Yeah. You said tight end or kicker. Tight end or kicker. How are those the two options?

I don't know of football. Tight end is like the biggest dude on the field outside of the line. I didn't even know. Yeah. Thank you for that compliment, Michael. Yeah, for sure.

Yeah. Well, he's tall. Yeah, but not thick. dude. What's it, what's the, what's the guy who's like, he's wide receiver? That's what I was. Yeah. Those are completely different positions. Tidend is like a thick boy. Yeah. Yeah. Teton's on the line, right? I could be Tidon if I was taller. Yeah. Yeah. I was fullback. Middle linebacker. I would have fucking, yo. You kick off, dude. You running across the middle as a wide receiver. Not kickoff. Sorry. You're running across the middle as a wide receiver. I'm middle linebacker. You catch the ball and a slant. Dead. Just so you know. Just so you know. No way. Yeah. I'm so much faster than this guy tonight.

It doesn't matter about speed. It doesn't matter about speed. You're running the route and I'm reading it because I got intellect and I'm coming across. I'm going to fucking kill you. Do you think football players are smart because people love saying the day? Some of them. Some of them. To know the game like that. I think they're football smart.

I think you take, if you fucking miss universe them and you're like, what's this population of Oregon? They're like, uh, fucking the Oregon Ducks football team. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. Like, like, tried to make them read a book like above like a fourth grade reading level. Except for Andrew Luck. The dog went. and it, like, it's a lot of that. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Except for Andrew Luck. Honestly, I'm not the same both, though. I fucking suck it reading, dude. I haven't read a book. You got a whole stack of books over here. I haven't read. This is me, the comic books. This is what I'm reading.

Yeah, that's to hold up his camera for the podcast. Yeah, my girlfriend's at a reading, but yeah, I fucking hate reading. I have a stack of books in my apartment for aesthetic purposes. When girls come over, they look like, it makes it look like I'm well read. Oh, yeah, yeah, well, because you have the glasses. That's why I love Franklin. That's why I love Franklin. Not only doing it.

I wonder why I got bullied. I got all my books in my... Not only doing that, but like saying that. Yeah, I have books for ladies when they come over for aesthetic purposes. Listen, I just read it at 12th grade. Yeah, yeah. My game, listen, I'm telling you guys what my game is. I'm like the air raid offense.

I have five plays. Stop them, all right? If you can't, then that's too bad. But it's just, it's funny to, I'm not, it's just funny to talk about. Dude, that's my Riz game. I got Riz game. I want to go back to why they bully you. So there's the other things the washing hands was the,

the only reason they bullied you? Just because I wore bright colors and washed my hands, they called me the F word. Huh. That's about it. You know what I mean? That's not that much. I also drove off...

But also, to be fair, like, I got called the F word. I called Billy F word for not even, like, little things. Oh, yeah. Also, yeah. I would, like, bump Mac Miller music and my Honda Civic. That was a big one. Yeah, yeah. Why aren't you listening to George Strait?

You know what I mean? Oh, really? Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. That's weird. Well, it's West Virginia. Yeah, but, like, I feel we had a lot of rednecks that would... You get the crossover.

You get the people that like redneck and rap. Especially younger kids, dude. Rap is taking over the world. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. I've never liked country, but now I've... I love country. I started liking the worst kind of country.

Like the popular ones? Dude, I've started to get into like that... Like, Diplo will do like a country song. What? Dude, Diplow has a... I know. I don't like any country. Dude, if anybody who listens to Cody,

they fucking hate me now. Diplow has a song with Kodak Black and some other country. Diplo and Kodak made a country song? Yes, dude. I love it. The music video is them like in like a G. like driving through the water and they're like just out.

It's like, I'm wasted or something like that. And then the guys sing the country's like, I had a gun on the table and almost killed myself because I'm so fucked up on drugs. And Kodak's like, yeah, that's still cool. Yeah, that's gase is hell, boy. And then Diplo's just in the back, like, probably mixed it or something. I love, I love songs like that.

You ever heard Broadway Girls by Lil Durk and Morgan Wall? Oh, yeah. Yeah, yeah. I like Morgan Wall a lot. He has another song with Diplo. It's like, why you gotta be so hotless? Yeah, that song slapped. Dude, Morgan, I'm telling you.

I was just like alone in my thing. I have a heat lamp or a sun lamp because I've been depressed because this season. Yeah, don't call me gay, by the way, with my whole sun lamp. I have my sun lamp and I'm just listening to that. 100 bucks. That's a good deal. I don't know if it works, though. Just get, have you been feeling better?

Sort of. It's hard to tell. You know what I mean? You're like, oh, do I feel better? You know what I mean? Yeah. Yeah, dude, that's the thing. I mean, I get depression.

I've been depressed. But then there's also like days where you're like, you wake. up, but you're like, oh, I feel great, and then something happens and you're upset. Like, it just goes up and down all the time. Oh, for sure. You know what I mean? The morning is the worst for me. I just get really depressed. I feel no. If it's a nice day out, dude, fire me. But it hasn't been in like weeks, dude. I just have to force myself to run. If I don't run, then I'm like a headcase. That's your second move. No. So, yeah, I run or whatever. I read. You show her videos of you running. Yeah, it was this one fast. Sometimes I read and run at the same time. And I'm really clean. I watch my

hands all the time. That 5K was in 20 minutes. What do you think about that? pretty impressive. Thanks. Zero, zero girls listen to this podcast. Yes, I know. Zero girls listen to this podcast. If you do, please keep listening.

But yeah, I have Malia Simon on the last one. I was like, I think you might be one of the three women I've had on this podcast. Did you, so what's your next movie? You show them the,

you show them the cabinet a little bit. Okay, so are we talking about like, from like startup, like when I'm talking to them like on hinge or in person or? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay. Do the Franklin Miller game.

Just a lady. Seduzy me. I'm not doing. I'm not seduce me. you. I'm not seducing you. I'm not seducing you. How much you weigh? How much do I weigh? Yeah. 160? Okay.

How much do you weigh? I don't know. Is this a... Yo, you're already fucking up. You can't ask her how much she weighs. Oh, we're still... You know what I was thinking about the other day? My friend, we were in college, and my friend, he's older than us. He was one year older than us. We're all just sitting there watching... We're watching football, and this girl comes over. She's not a girlfriend of anybody, but she, like, lives close, and she just comes over to our house in college. And we're all just sitting there watching football, and it's kind of, like, quiet for a sec.

and then my friend just goes, so Cam, what you're weighing in at these days? Just so in front of everybody, bro. It's the funniest shit I've ever seen. Oh, my God. I was thinking about that the other day. All right, sorry, go ahead. He's also the same kid who one time made eggs.

So he was cooking in the kitchen. He made eggs, finished it, put it on a plate, went in and showered, and then came back and ate the eggs. And I was like, that's the craziest thing I've ever seen. Isn't that insane? Eat it or shower, then make it. They're like cold when he gets out. Yeah.

Eggs are gross, but I eat them every single morning. Oh. Because I'm just like, they're so. that I'm like, I could just shove this down my throat. I'm in touch with nature, too. You eat, you know, guts creation. I've been using the egg whites, like cartoned egg whites, mixing out with some avocado.

Move number three. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, I'm like halfway vegan. I'm kidding. I'm giving you a hard time. I'm trying not to sound pretentious, but the more like I talk about my lifestyle, I'm like, damn, I really am.

No, no, I'm joking because I'm fucking around because I wish I was. I don't know why I'm picturing frankly? Because I was like, I was wondering, I was like, what kind of girls, by the way, if you don't know, Franklin's a thin, hot, sexy, artistic-looking man, long-haired glasses. I don't know why I picture him just like, his type is just like black women or like goth,

just something like way different than his steady. I was on a streak there with like model Coke girls for a while. Wait, model Coke girls? Model, like cocaine model girls, like those girls who were in that lifestyle. I didn't picture this. Oh, yeah. I picture your demographic would be like hipster chicks, but people always go outside there. Well, like, I dabble with that for a little bit and then like, I'm like, I'm out, I'm out.

So I think honestly, guys, I'm going to say it. I think I might be ready to settle down a little bit. Yeah. I think I might be looking for it. Franklin is low key trying to get a girlfriend through this podcast by just saying all this shit. And be like, okay, I think I'm ready. So if anybody's listening, this is what I can bring to the table. I'm talking about the I read.

I eat egg whites. He's like, I'm trying to be funny. I'm trying to get pushing. Yeah, he is. This is not hinge, bro. This is the Michael, the morning good podcast. Do you want, do you want to move? I'll get drinks for the girl.

There's number one. Okay. Get drinks. Good drinks. There's a couple good bars. a Hidden Lane bar and Gramercy's really good. Do people know you there where they're like, yo, new lady? They know me at 12th Street L House.

Oh, I've been there. And they know me. And they know me if I'm seeing like an Upper East Side girl, and they know me at Penrose pretty well. Oh, nice. And that's right by Eli's house. So you go there, date one, have a couple drinks, have a couple laughs, listen, you know. What do you talk about?

I has that. What are you trying to find out on the first date? No, also you know I'm just fucking with you. Yeah, I know. I know. I love you. But do you want to know? I don't.

I had you just... All right, wait, what do you... You just got to ask them. What do you want to know? You got to ask them about... It's about them. He's a good talker. Frank?

Like, when I'll have... It's great. I'll have conversation with me. He really, he really, like... No, he cares. He's a great listening. I do care. Yeah, I do care.

That's the thing. When I'm talking to somebody, 95% of the time, I'm like, I don't... Yeah, I'm like, okay, let me see the thing. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. But that's...

You can say anything, bro. I don't get to... So I understand that most people want to talk about themselves. So I just ask her. So I just ask her, like, you know, what her interests are, background history, all this stuff. And just trying to relate. When I'm dating, I can do that.

I can pay attention and care. You've had a girlfriend for a long time. So I make sure. Yeah, you're the most successful one. I've never been in like a solid relationship. It's because you're a horn dog, dude. No, I'm not. You got a slang.

You're out here banging goth chicks and models. And possibly dudes. We don't know. We're still learning about you. Yeah. Would you be, if you were gay, would you be comfortable about it? Yeah, probably.

Well, that's a very hard hypothetical. Would I be comfortable with a dick in my butt? Or would I be comfortable around my bag? No, no, no, no. Yo, TJ's like bagging on me, but he's like, yeah, you know, I love physique and I love bodies. I do, I do. I do. Would you be comfortable being gay, maybe?

Yeah, Frank, can you just talk about, all right? No, yeah, I do love that shit. I love, I love, I think you, I think you'd be good at dating too. I just don't think, like, you're so in your head with dating. Of course, yeah. You're so in your head with dating. Like, I'm in my head with everything else, but when it comes to talking to girls, it's just, like, goes away. Yeah.

Because I never had that growing up, though, and I moved to New York. No, I feel, I feel fine at it. So you were never good at talking to girls, but now you are? Yeah. Like, in high school and stuff like that, I mean, they knew me as like the weird kid. In college, I would just stay in my apartment and write jokes. Well, now I, like, I'm out of it. It just so happens that all of your high school interests have transitioned into becoming what girls like.

Like what? Like John Mayer. Oh, yeah, yeah. I wasn't into him in high school. You weren't? No. No. What got you listened to?

A girl I was seeing in 2019 said it was her favorite artist. and to get to know her better, I listened to a few of his songs, and then by the end of the relationship, it was like, no. I don't think I've ever had a girl show me something and then like that thing. By the end of their relationship.

By the end of the relationship, I never been like, besides their body, you said? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, I've never been like, oh my God, let me fucking watch this movie's great. I've never once showed me a movie, but like, this is good.

I'm like, this is not Scarface, so it sucks. Yeah. Anything besides Scarface is fucking weird. That's hilarious. That's so funny. by the end of the relationship where you drop in John Meyer lines on them like she gets yeah oh yeah oh yeah oh yeah like a wonderland

no I wouldn't do that one I would text you got a smooth black cat there yo your body's like a motherfucket yeah yeah yeah you're like a motherfucking wonderland and then and then she's laying down and you go daughter

be good no mommy and then she goes Molly and you go I don't know you look good I can't play guitar too but I can't play guitar too

but I never play for girls. I never play for girls. I find that so hard to believe. I've never played for not one time. Never. One it's one time. There's two guitars hanging on the wall in my bedroom and they're there like I play them for myself. No, if maybe down the line. Dude, if it's hanging on the wall, there's no way you're not wanting girls to say. No, I'd never play. I'd never play for girls. He like, says, yeah, so I don't know what? Can you move over? Yeah. Perfect. Or was that Starski and Huck where he's like, you bring out the guitar. He's like, oh, no, dude, come on. I don't want it. Yeah. he just shreds it.

I like, dude, I play a guitar for my girlfriend one time, and she made fun of me, and I just put a guitar away. I put it away completely because I realized how Cordy was. And also, she's like, you're bad at this. And I was like, that's fair. I'm making fun of you a lot, but I'm not making fun of you a lot. But, like, I would love to play the guitar. Dude, I can teach you.

No, that's the thing. I don't care enough to learn. It's like bodies. I would love to have a great body, but I don't give a fucking enough to life. It's way better to just say, look, if I had the time, I could do anything. Yeah, dude. If I had the time is good, as opposed to being like, I'm lazy. Yeah.

What am I going to do? Like, give up hanging out. Like, what are I going to do? Instead of the most random. What am I going to give up? Doing absolutely nothing? That's what I'm, but for real, am I going to go home and want to watch, like, hood vlogs?

If I go home and I want to put on hood vlogs, should, am I going to get up and be like, oh, I have to learn guitar. Yeah. Of course not. I'm going to do that. Yeah. I also have the thing where I, when I ever I try up like guitar, I'll pick the randomest songs. Like, I'll think this is scrylick.

Yeah. Yeah. People were like, I guess I could kind of do that. Yeah, yeah. It's like, there's no guitar in this song. Yeah, but I'm going to learn it. Yeah, okay. Yeah, I love that.

Have you ever changed the way you acted to fit like a girl you're seeing? When I was in high school, this girl I really wanted to date, but wouldn't date me, was obsessed with the show Wontry Hill, so I started watching it. And I fell in love with that show. I love how he called me so gay. Yeah, yeah. I've never called. Did I call you gay? You insinuated.

No, I didn't. No, wait, what did he do? No, I don't think he did. I don't think I did. Okay, I apologize. Redacted. I think, I think, all I've said was that the stuff you do is very, like, funny to me. Okay. But I've never called, I don't think I called you.

All I said was, if you were, would you care? Okay, okay, okay. The reason I asked is because you were like, from, first of all, from West Virginia, second of all, you said all your classmates called you that. So I was curious, this is a weird question, but in my head I was, like, curious if you were, like, afraid to be. Oh, you're saying, like, maybe I'm repressing it? Not even.

I'm just like, is it? You know what I really meant? Like, is it a no-no from where you're from? Oh, I probably, it probably is. Yeah. I feel, I've always from like a West Virginia, bro. Like if it was gay in New Jersey, people like, yeah, fucking, whatever.

I think fucking animals is still legal in West Virginia. What did you say? Having sex with animals? Having sex animals is still legal in West Virginia. That's so funny. Is this one of those monkey laws that you know? Yeah, I looked at one of the states that zinc for like a joke I had. And, uh, yeah, no, it's legal in West Virginia.

I think West Virginia is the only state that you can legally own a kangaroo, which is my favorite animal, which is sick. Those match up though. Yeah. You could fuck them and, yeah, have them. There you go. Anyway, once your heels of me. You can have one in Florida, too, by the way.

Oh, okay. Yeah, I saw a woman, or they were illegally owning kangaroos. I saw a woman on a paddleboard one time with kangaroo. That's actually pretty sick. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. That's pretty nice. Yeah. Yeah, where I was from, I don't know, it was kind of weird.

We had, like, one gay guy. You had more than one, but they just didn't. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. And then... Not a gay for crack, though, I bet. What's it? Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. In Florida?

You get that. We're at Florida? We're at Florida? We're out in Florida. Oh, sick, okay. But outside of Orlando is just redneck lands. And then Miami's very gay. Key West is very gay.

Yeah. Yeah, where I'm from is just regular. Regular? We're normal. No, no, no. No, no, no. I'm saying. We got her top screwed on.

That's not what I'm saying. I'm saying that it's like New York. You're like, you walk down the street and... Oh, being gay is going on. Yeah. It's like regular. It's just normal. We just regular.

We regular white folk. Regular deggler out there. Regular. No, that's what I meant. basically from New York. So you walked down the street and you're like, oh, yeah, whatever.

Yeah. Yeah. For us it was like there was the, the closeted gay guy. Yeah. And everybody knew was gay. Yeah. But then you saw him like,

as a girl once. You're like, he can't be gay. I guess he's just, he's the gay straight guy. Yeah. But then like they come back with like some like war story. Like they like snipe somebody or like they had sex with a girl and it's like,

okay, well then I believe it. But it just, you know, they're lying to say. Oh, for sure. Yeah. Yeah.

There's those. And then you had the reverse where like when that guy came out, he said he fucked like everybody. He was like, yeah, dude, I fucked the principal, you know, all these dudes in the football team. And then, uh, I don't think that happened to me. And then, yeah, the guys on the football team like, yeah, name them. Fuck, please don't say that. Yeah. We never hung out.

Yeah. Nobody said you did. I know, but I'm just clarifying. I never even, never even been in the car together. Did you grow up, you grew up like very Catholic? No, no. Oh, okay. My parents were like normal, like normal.

go to church once a week, but, you know, at the time, when I was a sophomore in college or high school, I went to church every day. What? Yeah. Whoa. That's insane. And when? Yeah.

Sophomore. And college? Yeah. You want to know? No, high school. And then also college. Church every day? Yeah.

For what? I'll be honest, looking back on it is because one of the priests was like a pretty big influence of the baseball program back at the time. And I was like, this will fucking, if I do this. It does feel good, though, like, it's a rush. you're like, it's a thing to connect to. I've never been a guy who's just going through life like, well, I'm just gonna go and see what happens.

I've always had like something to fucking go to. Yeah, yeah. And also you have that thing, it feels good. You're like, oh, I'm going to church. Like, it's, yeah. And when you believe it, bro. Dude, it's, yeah. It's like a drug.

When you're, yes. For real. Like, because if you do something good, you're like, oh, it's an adrenaline rush. Dude, I gave a homeless guy a chiro the other day. I almost, dude, I'm just jerked off to a picture myself. Yeah, I was like, I'm a hero. You are.

There's a small thing. When was the last time that guy had cinnamon sugar? I don't know. You made a tear in the year of the year. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Dude, it's like, if you were, when I was in, like, watching the movie, God's not dead. I'm like, I'm such a good person. Yeah.

What was that one? I bet you love the movie facing the Giants. What's it about? It's like that church football movie. I don't know if I've seen it. When I was a sophomore in high school, I wasn't super watching movies. That was in, that was in, uh, so I was Catholic in high school. When I went to college, I was really Christian.

There's a difference. It's the same, but there's a difference in how you do it. Right. Did you, so TJ played college baseball for the listeners that don't know. Did you put like crosses in John 316 on your wrist tape? In high school. Okay. Yeah, but not in college.

Because of Bryce Harper, the goat. Did you do like cross eye black and stuff? No. See, I was, it's so funny. I didn't have to, I was religious until I was 16. And one time I was drunk and angry and I was like, God, if you're real, show yourself. Yeah. Like the next day, I was like, bullshit.

Frick you, God. That's such a 16-year-old thing. yourself. I was like, you didn't show himself. So I was like, God's not real. And then like, and then from there on now, and also I think is Tim Tumtibo, I was a, TMTBO. Oh, Tim Tm, oh, Tim Tmob. He was, uh, I like the Seminoles more and he was, I was not in his sports, but I was just like,

this guy's a fucking pussy. I just did not like him as like it. You will never see another play as hard as I will play the rest of the season. Yeah, I was like, you'll never see. I love God. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And I just, I started connecting those two things. I'm like, not for me.

Yeah, dude. We're going to get smite. did after this. I used to do all the I used to do all the shit I used to do John 316 on my wrist I used to like before every single at bad I would go

I would do the cross bottom top over over to this shit Yeah You know what I did before I got into the box? It's somebody the idea that God would be up there like All right nailing it today It was always ironic to me It's fucking crushing it

Both teams are praying to the same God for victory before the game You know what I mean? We had that our middle school We played a team and they dedicated it to a sick kid who's like dying cancer. Oh, that's an auto win. And then he, they lost.

And then my coach goes, maybe they should have prayed a little harder. I think he said that or he said that. Yeah, yeah. That's great. It was either that. I can't remember. It was either dad or maybe they should have found a different kid

to dedicate it to something. And I'm like, yes. That's hilarious, dude. That is funny. Yeah. They didn't give a fuck. We had this football coach. Do you like, he was such a douchebag.

But he like, he shaved his legs. Great. And that's what I'm going to start doing, by the way, shaving my forearms again. I used to do that. to look ripped. Yeah. I'm putting it on the podcast right now.

I'm speaking it into existence. I'm going to get jacked. Okay. I'm going to get jacked. Okay. Not really, though, but I'm going to do it. I'm going to do all the jack things without getting jacked.

So you're just going to eat a lot. I'm going to eat a lot. I'm going to get really fat. And just look of good bodies. Just one cutting muscle milk. You're like, this will kick in soon. Yeah.

I'm sure. One cutting season. I'm right there. Yeah, for real. You know why I think I can get yode? Because I see a bunch of fucking dumbasses do it. And then I'm like, look, if that guy from my high school could get that yoked, I can do it. Yeah.

Like, I have friends that, like, their whole life they've been yoke. You know what I mean? They play football high school. Oh, yeah. I'm like, I'll never be like that. But then I see some, like, dweeb, just like get yoked. And I'm like, all right. If that guy could do it, then I could do it.

But I'm not going to do it. Nerds are the wave right now. Oh, really? Like, big time nerds. Dude, that's, like, are now rich. There's so many dudes that try to get pussy by just getting yoked. They still don't know how to talk to girls. Oh, yeah.

like, hey, what's up? And you're like, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. So I think that's my plan, by the way. It's just be a yoked guy outside of being yoked. So doing everything like that.

Right. I think that's a good plan. I can see you doing that. Yeah. Clean forearms. Muscle milks. Let's start shaving my forearms, painting my nails. Yeah.

No, not painting my nails. Oh, okay. That's not alpha. Yeah, not all. I never seen one guy to lift the weight with painted nails out. I thought that was the wave. I'm going to just give myself like calluses. Sensitive guys don't work out.

Those are two different things. You got two things going on if you work out. You worked out your whole life. You played football. You're kind of a jock. And you get back into it. Or you're a nerd and you hate women. And you want to show all of them who's boss.

You're an in-cell? Yeah. So you create an algorithm to come up with the perfect workout plan and then you do it. And then you get fucking yo. Can the girls still do not want to fuck you? And so you bring a gun to school. That's just how that goes. Or, yeah, it's bad.

There's only two yoked people. you're either one or the other. TJ, did you ever fall down that pipeline, that alt-right pipeline that they talk about where it's like owning liberal, like women yelling at a rally? Like, did you ever watch those videos? You know what? No. I still like them.

I'm not conservative. Really? I still love, it's so fucking lame, but I still love just some like douchebag. It's hilarious because he's arguing with like children. It's like a grown man goes to a college and he's like, well, what do you think about this? But it is just funny. Both of them are fucking losers. Yeah.

But it's still very funny to watch. I've never seen that. Damn. You know my favorite is Herschel Walker's son. He's like, Oh my God, yes. I've seen him. He's fucking hilarious.

He's like, he's like a conservative gay light skin guy. Yeah, and he's just like. He hates his dad. Wait, are you talking about?

Now he does. He didn't before that. Oh, okay. Are you talking about the guy who sits down like, changed my mind? No,

that's, uh, Stephen Crowder. Yeah, I've seen those like clips. Failed comic. Failed comic, failed comic, Stephen Crowder.

Really? Oh, yeah. Documented. Try to be, tried to be a comic couldn't figure it out. Jason David is about to start an all-right YouTube channel. He did something with Yonnas. What's his name?

Yonaspas? No, no, Yonah... Oh, Milo Yonopoulos. He came to my college once. Oh, Milo's fun, too. Milo, he went to your college? Not to, like, attend, but to, like, speak. And there was, like, riots and stuff like that.

It was crazy. Once he didn't crowd, though, just tries so hard. Like, he's like, you guys are facts. I could say that because I'm friends with Milo. Like, right? Milo's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it would have been one thing if he was just saying it. But I was like,

to say it and then immediately be like, I'm friends with the gay guy right here. It's like, come on. And then also... It's so lame, dude. He does his thing with like gun holsters on it. He has like his little holster there. He's such a fucking dirt.

But what's his day? It was awesome. Hershal Walker's son. Yeah. Because he's just being gay as hell in like a fun way, in like a homosexual way. Yeah. But then also being conservative.

He's like, body positivity. How but you lose weight, you fat bitches? This guy rules. I'd like to see... Slay, queen, and only skinny. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'd like to see Herschel Walker's son and Jackson, my home's brother, Duke it out in a fight. I'd like to see. Throw in there, Patrick Monson's son as well. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Triple threat. Oh, yeah, Patrick Mahomes' brother. Yeah, oh, wait, no. You said, I thought you meant, like, start a team. No, I want to see him fight. I got you. Yeah. No. There's, like, all these videos of, like, Hershawaker said, he'll, like, throw out, like, his rainbow flag, but then put on an American flag. It's, like, show over the top. I just don't get. But he was that, he was that nice thing with Andre, by the way, which was. Oh, for real.

I did not watch that. How was it? Oh, yeah, I did see Andre in there. So, over the top. First, okay, so hold on, because I have the same thought goes for that video and also these people. They fucking just get, like that kid, Christian Walker, right? Yes.

He, I've seen him before. But, like, you're just, he's, he, he kind of has. But I actually don't even know what that's his name is. I think it. I think it is. Because I've seen him before. We're going to roll with that. I think it is.

And because I've, because, because, but those people are so annoying because they do a few things, some things hit. And then they just really exaggerate. that part of like whatever they talk as soon as he's for sure okay but as soon as they hit stop recording they go like okay i don't believe 90% you know what i mean so i hate those people because it's the same thing whether it's him or somebody else you're just like dude you're just playing your character and then nobody truly likes you you're popular because people hate you nobody watches a video from him or a video from like the other side a crazy left person and watches the video and goes oh yeah

I believe all those points. Nobody gives a fuck. You know what I'm saying or no? Yeah. Like, they're just characters of themselves. Right, right. But I do like the stirring the pot. That's what makes it.

Of course. The stirring the pot is fun. Because this guy's just going wild. Yeah. Instagram, just like yelling. And he's like, my dad's a piece of shit. He held my mom at gunpoint, all this stuff. And then I looked like five videos down.

And it's him endorsing his dad like a year ago. And I'm like, you fucking. Herschel Walker, by the way. Great body. Great body. All weights. All body. I'm pretty sure he said something like.

Like, he said, I want to go to war so that I can kill people and get away with some crazy shit like that. He's fucking nuts. That is crazy. That guy's an all-time athlete, man. That guy's an all-time athlete. Yeah. I mean, most of athletes are out of their freaking minds.

That's true. That's true. Kurt Schilling's a fucking nut. Yeah. Yeah, he is. I don't know what any of these guys are. He's a big January 6th guy, I think Kurt Schilling is. Oh, okay.

Yeah. Actually, I take back what I say. He sounds like an intelligence. Few athletes. Few athletes are super woke. Very few. There was that one running back. for the Chargers. I don't know if he's still there. Oh,

Aaron Foster? No, no, no, no, but he is, but I think his last name started with a Jay, but he was, he was a... But nobody's like super, like, woke and, like, also, like, popular. Yeah. A lot of right-wing athletes become popular. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. But nobody is, like, equivalent to who's, like,

a left-wing person, that's pretty much... Yeah, I don't know. I don't know. No, actors, 100%, it's like there's... Yes, yeah, because they're acting. You know what he's so... That's part of their job. They're for sure acting. They're acting. My favorite shit of all, I was just realizing it. about all this stuff. I was like, people get canceled for tweets,

and then Tom Cruise is just still the biggest movie star. This guy runs a fucking gold. I've been obsessed with Tom Cruise recently. He's still in it? I watched one of his old ones. Which one? I watched Jerry McGuire recently for the first time.

Oh, that one's good. The firm. Never seen it. The firm. It's like a tax lawyer. And he has to... About his one just firm did this. Yeah.

Oh. And he has to go down to Memphis. And he, I don't want to ruin it for you, but he finds out he's working for the mob. So it's good. Oh, come on. I'm working for the mob.

Is that what it is? There is it. Right, Tom, you got to do this job. And then at the last second of the movie, just goes, Oh, come on, this is for the mob? They do make him... It's really going to hurt my feelings. Classic Tom Cruise, they make him do

sprint like this down the street for no reason, like chase after somebody. He's got like an all-time running motion. He's the man, dude. I wish that there was more people like that nowadays that are just so... You never see them unless they're in a movie. Yeah.

And they're so mysterious. Tom Cruise could be not real. Well, it's because it's not, you know what, you don't get a lot of Scientologists that come out with political opinions. Which, you know what? I'll take that. I'll take somebody doing Scientology. I'm going to keep my mouth shut. Yeah, yeah.

Bring up Scientology. Yeah, yeah. I'd rather Scientology than Mel Gibson going off. He's not messing with that. Isn't that a fair tradeoff? Yeah, fair. But Tom, Tom Cruise, funny story I want to. So Jack Barham, you guys know Jack Barham.

Yes. He told us a story that he heard, so I don't know how true this is, but he heard that Tom Brady is like, or fucking, Tom Cruise is so not a real person. that he just showed up to a Super Bowl party with a football. It was like trying to throw it around. It's fucking hilarious. Yeah. Hey, what's up, fellas?

Yeah. Brought to football. That is literally fucking hilarious. Oh, my God. Have you talked to Andre, by the way, about that thing? No, I honestly didn't even watch the video. I know he made a reaction video. I didn't see it.

Oh, really? Yeah, yeah. What was it? A bunch of dudes that are sitting down and talking about their masculinity. Okay. And it's, Andre's character is hilarious

because he's like, just the guy that doesn't care about anything. That's exactly. That's great. I feel like that's, I didn't watch the video. I don't know what he said, but I'm pretty sure that's what I would be.

I'd be like, I don't know, man, do whatever you want. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Like, that would be my response. He said one thing, and they clipped him so hard for and, like,

angled it and, and like, to make him look like a dick. Because, like, what he does, he just goes, I mean, maybe, I don't know, he said worse things. They made him look better. Maybe he was really like...

They made him look like a bad guy? So like the very... The first scene is like what they use... You know how they have like a little promo before a long video? Just like show you we're about to see. It's like, Andre's like... Yeah, I just think it's bullshit that I gotta pay like $150 and you might not even call me back. And then there's a non-binary person on there.

It's like, well, that's a pretty fair trade-off seeing is that if you're a woman, you could get raped or murdered. And I'm like, that's a weird comparison. It's like just because... Also $140. Andre, where are you going, bud? Yeah. Where are you going, man?

real. I'm going to McDonald's. Say dollar menu. That's what you want. But it's just so funny. It's like, that's so funny to be like, well, guess what? It's like, you pay $150. That's the tradeoff. I'm like, aren't these both bad things? Like, one's way worse. Obviously, getting murdered. But it's like, it's weird to just be like, yeah, well, this or that. Yeah. I don't know. I was going to say a stupid thing. I'd pay $150 to go on a plane. I could get murdered. Yeah. That makes no sense. That makes literally no sense. That makes literally no sense. That of this does. My dad started, like, messaging me about the podcast.

We were talking about how people in the 50s hit women. He's like, your grandmother or grandfather would never hit women. And I was like, all right, well, we're just filling airtime. I was like, no. Yeah, dad, we're lying. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Or we're just saying nonsense for an hour. Yeah, this is fact checking you out here, making statements.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, I listened to an hour-long video about lizard people, so I'd have something to talk about today. I'm not fucking. Is that what you did? Yeah, do you prepare for this podcast? If I'm running out of a, ideas. I'm like, yeah, let me see. There's something about the lizard people. So I watched that for like an hour. I need, I should do that more. I just go play and go,

all right, what do you got? Yeah, most of the time, that's the way to do it. Because half the time, I'll look up something like that. And I'll be like, all right, we hit dead air. I'm running back. So you guys, uh, hear about the lizard people? Yeah, it's just totally out of the blue. That's good, though. That in the MLK statue, it looks like his penis. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. I didn't know what that was until. No, I didn't know what that was arms. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. It looked only like a penis to me. And his family, even apparently He was like, that looks like a penis. How much...

Like an official statement from the King Jr. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm not King Jr. The junior family. The junior family. I'm so stupid. It's just much of black dwarfs that like look like that. The Junior King family.

The Burger King Jr. family. Yeah. But yeah, though, they were like, that looks like a penis. Which imagine, dude, you put so much effort into craft. Oh, yeah. Who made it? Somebody, I don't know. But, like, my question is, like, is there never, like,

mockups be like, do we want to go with one, two, or three and run it by people. Like, they just showed up with that saying and unveiled it. And it looks like a penis. I feel like when, yeah, that's a good point. Yeah. And I think it was like millions of dollars. But like everybody on both sides was mad.

One guy, one person from like BLM was like, this is bullshit. Yeah. This is just you guys trying to look good. And then there was also some like, all right guy that's like, this is so woke. I was like, I don't know if shitting on Martin Luther King. Also like, what was the thought process was like I don't, you could statuteize. Is that a word? Yeah.

You could statutory. You could. You could. You could. Make a statue out of... There's nobody in the world that arms, you can make a statue and be like, you guys should know who that is, right?

Yeah. Like, no arm... Maybe like Bethany Franklin. Yeah, yeah. Or Bethany Hamilton. Yeah, yeah. Who has her one arm... You know that girl?

No. Do you made a movie? Because her arm got by the shark girl? Oh, yeah. Maybe that's the only one that's Bethany. We had to watch that at church camp. Did he really? Yeah.

Is that a God movie? I don't know. Okay. I don't think it is. I thought you watched it. I thought you watched it? At church camp, yeah, they made us. They made us do a lot of things

at church camp. I bet they did. I bet they did. Like pray to the Lord. But I don't know. There was a lot of like religious trauma like, hey, hey, eight-year-olds, if you don't give your life over to Christ

right now, you're going to hell. Yeah, but they did that. Really? Oh, yeah. They did that through song and dance. You're going to go to eight-year-olds. Very vivid, like, depictions of Christ being like hung on a cross.

It was called, it was called the Consecration Service, which I saw. That's a Catholic thing, too. Well, what? Was this a conversion camp? No, it was the right side of religion. Yeah, conversion to Christ.

Yeah. No, they would do that. Oh, man, it was bad. It was bad, bad, bad. That sounds terrible, bro. That's a good song by a little baby. Bad, bad, bad, bad. Did you ever go to church camp in Florida?

Yeah, I got sent to a church. You got sent? Yes. Did you get in trouble? Multiple times. Oh, boy. Christian Science Camp, which is a former Christian where there gets the use of medicine, yeah. Were you telling us that one time?

Yeah. Somebody else was telling us that one time? me that. And I fell off my mountain bike and they made me like pray about my injuries all day and it was terrible. I had to like highlight the Bible and then they're like, you pray harder, you will heal. Dad, imagine if that worked. Imagine if like that's all it took. You're like, oh, I want to, I want to, I want my arm to heal. And they're like, well, fucking go pray. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Go pray. Yeah. Most of them aren't like that, but like the, you know, it's like every religion has, it's like, extremes. Yeah. Yeah. So, like, there are people that are like, look, I'm not, you know, maybe we shouldn't put our child on Adderall. Yeah. Which is fair.

Yeah. Because, like, my mom was like, not that formal religion. So I was put on Adderall, like, secretly. And, which is great. You know, Adderall is illegal in Europe? Why is that? And they give it to four-year-olds. That's why they're falling behind and we fucking beat that.

Yeah, it's true, yeah. They're reading their fucking little pieces. Fuck you, Europe. Keep doing tea, you fucking idiots. We'll do coffee and Adderall and destroy you. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, but China, you're going to keep doing anything. Yeah, yeah.

I don't even think they, do. I'm pretty sure Adderall is, like, illegal in a lot of Asia, too, which is crazy. that are conquering, yeah. Yeah, but it's not illegal to hit your kids. That's why they're significant. That's why they're number one. That's, that's the natural lateral. Yeah.

Yeah, it is funny. Talk to a lot of Asian people. They're like, how are you so smart? They're like, my dad threw a textbook when I was five. Yeah, you figure it out. Yeah, you know bricks? Yeah. Dude, it's like insane.

I'm like, damn, dude. It's like, it's rough. Yeah, that's crazy. But I mean, look, it's, there's, it's a double-edged sword. Yeah. A double-s, samurai sword. I unintentionally did the voice. I said,

assured. Yeah, yeah. Didn't even meet you. But yeah, UK you can't take out of all, which is crazy because I'm like, if I'm prescribed, if you go to the UK,

I would get arrested like, wow. Yeah, they'd hold you like Britney Griner. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, that was crazy. Yeah, that was crazy. Yeah, free her. She is free.

She's free. Yeah, she's five. I know. What is she up to now? Putting up 20 and 10. She's, yo, shout out to the WMBA. Yeah. Shout out to the WMBA.

Yeah. Is that your way of kidding pussy? Yeah. Yeah, what's up, girl? I like the WMBA. What are you talking about? That's T.J.'s Riz right there. No, I don't know how I have this.

I just go home for like, whenever I go home, my mom, because I come, all my brothers, they play sports. How many brothers do you have? You did all mine. Two. But my brother. Because I also have cousins. They all play sports and they just get all this fucking gear.

So I always constantly just get shit for free. That's sick. Yeah. I have one sister. She didn't give me anything ever. She got you. She got you a really bad. She got you a nephew.

No, she had a, there was a, it's just a bad. It was a bad Christmas. It was a bad Christmas this year. Come on, that was a good job. What? What did you say? I said she got you a nephew. Oh, and a niece.

Very lovely. But prematurely. No, the niece was on. All right. I'm sorry. I guess I'll reveal it. You don't need to talk about it. My sister had a kid when she was 16 and T.J.

That's like, that was big news to me. Oh, okay. That's fine. I thought you're saying like it was a premature. No, the baby was one of those. No, no, no. It's Franklin's, I just did not peg Franklin for having a family member who

had a teen pregnancy. Oh, yeah. So that was wild to me. And I'm just fucking around. I thought you were making fun of like his deformed sisters like no, no, no, no, no, no. No, I'm not that.

I don't know why he's a monster. That was, that was, God, that offed up. I know, I know, uh, curse anymore. This is a, I don't curse. This is an anti-cursing podcast. Wow. I said we start right now. Please believe all the curses is clean.

I was going to blur out the boner. Yeah. Yeah. You'll put a cross over the boner. Dude, no, my dad was a pastor. My sister had a kid at 16. It was tough. That's why.

crazy thing. Yeah. Do you think it was like she was rebellious? Or do you think it was like... Dude, I think it was just natural kid stuff and she just happened to be

unlucky. Natural kids stuff. Dude, yeah, it could have been the Lord working through her, dude. You never know.

My God, man. Oh, it's bad times. All right. That's very funny. You know, to think of like a 16-year-old

girl whose dad is a pastor who had sex and clearly now is pregnant and then she's like, I never, maybe it's the second Jesus. Yeah. Dude,

that would be an immediate move. Yeah, yeah. Because then that test your dad's, your dad's fucking, does he really believe? Because if he's like, fucking, no, it's not. And Christianity, did Jesus say he'd come again? Yeah, he will return. We always have to be ready for his return.

That's the thing, is that Jesus is supposed to come again. He's supposed to come back. Do we know? No, he hasn't come back. Were you about to ask that? Yeah, yeah, yeah. How are we confirming that? How do we know he hasn't already came back?

If he was Brock and Bob. Jesus has Jesus tattoo on his foot like Andy from Toy City. It's like, the book of Revelations explains all that. With like, you know, you're going to have these beasts that come out of the sea and what have you. Well, I'm a fucking beast. So that's already one. Here we go.

And then you're going to hear like a horn. And then you're going to hear like a horn. And then like people will get like sucked up in heaven or something like that. And then the great battle happens or something like that. Oh, the rapture? Yeah. I thought. And Andrew Tate's going to save us all.

Yeah. Wait, I didn't. I didn't think that. I thought that the rap, I thought Jesus was supposed to just come. And then the rapture was like kind of the end of the world again after he comes. I thought the rapturing process.

I thought like the good guys get sucked up in heaven. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. But then why would Jesus come down? Just to once and for all. all kill the bad guys. I don't know how the thing works. Yeah, that's also weird that you turn the other cheek, but he's like,

but then revelations, I'm coming back and murdering all these fuckers. I just tried to repress so much religious trauma. And then the first thing Michael opens up with, he's like, you guys are both big religious guys. Why did you start like that? I thought we were going to talk about gambling. DJ's a gambling addict. No, no. I don't do anything. I'm, I don't have no vices.

I've been pounding O'Dules for like, really? Are you sober? No, just try January. I'm just, I'm just, I'm like, drink. You're totally sober, dry, January. I'm like, it's funny because I don't even drink this way, but now that I'm sober.

I'm just like chugging O'Dul's. Like, I'm just like, oh, I had two beers this weekend and I felt like a scumbach. That's crazy to me that people could just have like two beers and be like, and I'm mad at myself for it. I don't want to drink anymore. I don't want to drink at all. I get a headache about two beers. It doesn't make sense to me.

Either have a million or have zero. I kind of agree with that, yeah. Wait, what were we talking about? Religious drama, gambling. Are you religious now? No. Not at all. I like to, who's to say the God I grew up believing is the right one?

I like to, you know, like, I'm open to anything. Whoever is correct, great. You have to go soon. Okay, yeah. Okay, yeah. We'll wrap it up. What do you guys want to promote? I want to promote my friend T.J. Francis has a great podcast program.

That is a blast. You should check out. I have an episode. You can check out. I do talk about my game. All of you, I think, are two of the highest on YouTube. Not that it's a lot. Right.

I think you're at like 200 views and you're like 150 or something. There we go. The Franco bump. Yeah, I got the Franco Bump. Yeah. Yeah, listen to TJ Friends's program podcast show our experience on wherever, YouTube, particularly. And follow me on Instagram at T.E.E.J. Francis. Oh, yeah. I'm at Franklin Miller on Instagram.

I got to get that name on Twitter, man. Some guy never tweets has it. Oh, really? Yeah, I'm hot. I'm hot about it. You want to go for five more while he leaves? We can go for five more while he leaves. All right. This is going to be funny to see you walk across the camera. Why? Because it's just funny.

What's up, Mike? All right. Let's get down to it. So you're not religious anymore. I wouldn't, no, no, I wouldn't say. I definitely don't look at the Bible. See you, teach. Have a good show. You know what? It's too, let's just end it here.

All right. All right.