Morning Good - Tickle Torture - Episode 240

Episode Date: October 6, 2024

Paddy Defino and a mystery guest return to the show for today's episode. They talk about prime Charlie Sheen, anti-sex school assemblies, and 1960s Batman and Robin.Thanks to Paddy for coming into the living room for today's episode. Make sure to check him out on previous episodes of the show, follow him on Instagram  @paddy_is_funky, and keep up with new episodes of the best visual experience in comedy podcasting, News From Bed.Also check out some of Paddy's custom golf course assets for PGA Tour 2k23, The Metropolitan Open and Glorian Estuary.As always, find Michael Good on Instagram @michaelgoodcomedy and on Twitter @agoodmichael. Check out the show on YouTube and follow the official Instagram page @morninggoodpodcast.

Thanks for the F Shack. I love dirty Mike and the boys. Hey, are you dirty Mike and the boys? How you know who we are? What's this? They called the podcast? Morning, very good. Oh, I love it.

Hey, welcome to the air. Thanks. Welcome to morning. I was just fucking with you. I'm just fucking with you. 10 minutes into the episode. Yeah, people hold the rock. All right, we're here with Patty and mystery guest.

And I don't know, I'm fresh off a fucking Red Bull. dude. I'm feeling good. I've been convincing myself I'm eating healthy just because I'm eating burgers without the buns. I'm just eating cheeseburger patties. I don't know if that's good or not. That is kind of the like Jack Black School of Rock diet. I never saw the bonus features.

Oh, really? Yeah, he goes through a drive-thru and he's like driving a car but somehow like standing, like crouched on his seat. I'm like, that's awesome. That's how I picture Jack Black drive. Yeah, just his legs up here. And he's just like in the drive-thru window and he's like, give me a junior bacon chee. Hold

the bun. And a diet Coke. Oh, what a fun guy. He is a fun guy. I was thinking about your, like, those things that start the movie. Oh, the, yeah, yeah, yeah. That would be a fun way to, like,

give someone a transgender surgery. You snap their penis off with a kid. You're a woman. I would like the, if they use the sets and stuff. Take two. Whoops. Take two.

I've heard they actually, they use that the giant scissors from the ribbon cutting ceremony this is the ginormous things and then they give you the key to the city once you're a gal we're watching that one there's a there's somebody on the bachelor

who transitioned but like you know not to get too hairy here I mean he's very hairy but it's like it's one of those person where it just it's like a jacked guy who's just wearing a dress and lipstick

and nothing else and like it's one of those things too where he's like it just looks just like a, just like a dude. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And I don't have a problem with that until he starts playing volleyball. Then my blood boils.

Well, my thing is just like visually, like, it's hard for me not to giggle because it looks like Fred Flintstone wearing a dress with lipstick on. Because the guy is like just a muscular, handsome man. And mentally I'm watching this. And I'm like, is he the gay one or am I the gay one? It is a trick because technically he is more beautiful than some women. Dude, he's got that, that dude, there's something about that shave. I don't understand certain beards dudes have where you look like a pirate playmobile where it's just dots on your face perfectly.

I know. I know. Yeah. Yeah. You got a good beard, but like these guys, they have this like thing where it's like, they have just the perfect shadow. You're like, this is an insane, like. Yeah, it's pretty nice.

I just have like an Irish guy beard. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, I have a, I realize this because I don't grow like any facial hair really, like that much. I think it's because I was a catcher in high school. And I had to put a mask on and it's just pressing and like all this like shit is getting into my face. I'm like ripping it off and putting it back on. And that's why I'm bald. I know a guy who said his COVID mask.

This guy at a show just had Wolverine shops. And I was like, you're like a big X-Men fan? He's like, no, not really. I was like, what's up with the, I mean, you, somebody has. had that look and now that's who's looked at. It's Hugh Jackmans and what is going on. And he goes, oh, actually, the COVID mask made my hair fall out on my face so I can only grow sideburns. And I'm like, I don't know if that's what happened. Yeah.

You're sure it wasn't your malaria? Yeah. It's also like, it's like, I don't know how like you also have the decision to not do the sideburns. I don't know. I thought it would be because this part is like open on the COVID mask. So it's like free reign for your hair to just grow out. So it's like press and. this down. But he's saying he's like that's the only way, like it made his facial hair

die. Yeah. There. I get that. But it also goes up here. So how does that even affect your mustache? It's above your nose. You don't wear it up here. Maybe it's because it's like so humid. It's like a little biodome. Yeah. And like everything has to like eat the hair to survive in there. Maybe. I don't know. The tough one is like Asian facial hair, dude. They never,

they usually don't get the good ears. Yeah, they grow like a long. like three long hairs that are going in like all these different directions. Yeah. Yeah, like an Asian tutor. The three long hairs are peace, prosperity. Sexual deities. The three frogs. Yeah, the three frogs.

I have a friend who grows, he kind of has like you. Doesn't grow really any facial hair, but he'll get like a mustache that's way above his lip, but then the hair will grow long. It's like a thin line where it grows, but it grows down long. Yeah, it's like the Sam.

Melly it. No, it's gross. You can see that they're all individual hairs. It's not thick. Yeah. It's just one thin line where it grows from. And then like a weeping willow. It's like, yeah, it's like a brush.

So like if a breeze flows, like it all just like, it's so gross. Dude, I might get like long eyelashes. I like just, just, can you control that? No, like I'll get fake eyelashes. Stick them on. But just act like I do not. And just have the cutest.

most adorable eyelashes. I think... You should just get your eyebrows threaded or something and see if anyone notices. Yeah. I think this is the time, the best time ever,

to make some kind of alteration to beautify your face. Yeah. Because all you're doing is putting yourself on a screen. Yeah. And right away, they're not going to be like, look at that,

look at those eyelashes. They're going to, there's going to be something that catches their eye. And then by the time they realize, you know, it's your eyelashes. You've already made like a dead.

Hitler baby joke. Right, right, yeah, yeah, yeah. Snuck that right under the world. See how much I can get away with the podcast without them noticing. I'll transition to each episode and see if anybody even notices. Someone gets mad, like,

you're doing stand-up, and you do like the dead baby joke, and then someone gets mad and follows you out, and they can't find you, and they're like, who was that beautiful man who said that thing about the dead baby? It was disgusting.

There was something about him, though. I had the funniest... They hear you blink from down the street. It's like, whoosh, wish. It sounds like a cartoon blink. Like, I'm like, I'm pink-bing. My favorite response, I got to that dead baby joke recently. I have a part where I talk about the boss baby with, like, Alec Baldwin.

This woman goes, no, no, no, no. And I was like, what's what's going on? She's like, I hate the boss baby. That's my least favorite movie. And I'm like, it's so refreshing to have somebody be upset about a different part of the joke that... People just don't like Alec Baldwin now. And I don't know why. I've never he's always been a ginormous

he's like the biggest douche on the planet phallic small he he did this Instagram live interview with Woody Allen and before he did it he posted this thing being like look everyone has their own feelings about what Woody Allen and what he's been accused of but this is a talk about art yada yada like if you're going to be mad

stay away this isn't for you and then people are commenting out there like, you also killed someone. Some people just don't like that you're a murderer. That's such a good move. Dude, be like a pedophile or, and then just have,

not that Alicpon's pebble, but like, just start deflecting by having wilder guests on your podcast to be like, oh, yeah, today on the Kevin Spacey show is, uh, Pulpots.

Yeah. Dude, was he in character with, um, he was in character when he did Tucker Carlson, right? I think so. I feel like he's always, that's so fun.

That's just fun. I mean, not the banging children, but the. Yeah, well, I remember when he did, when he got canceled, then they didn't hear from him for a while. And then he just started releasing YouTube videos. Yeah. Like him doing monologues as the House of Cards guy. So awesome. Yeah.

Just like you. He's like, I'll just make my own house of cards. You guys liked me, right? Yeah. And we did. We did. I mean, watching that show back, he's like, designed for that show.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. He was created in a lab for that show. I never saw any of it. It's really good. He's just like the king of evil. He's like, he's not evil on that. I'm saying he has like,

isn't he like sort of like a ends justify the means kind of guy? Yeah, and just like a power thirsty Southern math. Does the show fall off when he's not the guy anymore? I didn't watch it past that. So it did for me, Jake. Did they kill off his,

like how did they, the way they kill off Charlie Sheen was, Didn't Charlie Sheen get, like, hit by, like, a train in two and a half men or something? I don't know. I never, I never liked that show. That would be funny. I thought it was, like, it was just, like, a tense, like, super homo erotic show about, like, a family who was all going to fuck each other when the kid got old enough. I've seen a couple episodes.

I have no idea where you drew that conclusion. Really? I don't know. They're all, like, kind of like, they're brothers. They're brothers. Are they brothers? Yeah. Oh.

Have you watched this show when you're like, this is kind of weird gay. Orgy show. Because they're always like just kind of lounging around and they're like, yeah, I had sex. Oh, you had sex last night? I never have sex. Yeah, that is kind of the show.

Come over here. Is the boy one of their sons? Yes, he's the inspector gadget looking guy's son. The guy who looks like Matthew Broder. John Cryer. Yeah, yeah. Yeah.

Yeah, I never liked it that much. I don't know. It would have been cool if they killed off his character the way Charlie Sheen would die. They're like, actually he, was secretly gay this whole time. He had HIV. I keep forgetting

Charlie Sheen has AIDS for HIV. Yeah, it would have been funny if they tried to do like a You ever watch a sitcom episode where they try to like teach you about something? Yeah, they try to do an episode about Charlie Sheen getting AIDS

from banging prostitutes. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Like sit the sun down and they're like, this just happens. Yeah. This is like. Sometimes you just make so much money that you inject tiger blood into your penis. Remember that when he was like the Tiger Woods guy?

Oh, when he was like a, he was like Mr. Sex guy? He was like in the news just for being a lunatic all the time. Yeah. Like they'd have. It was so sick. He like, like people forget. I mean, I have just, sorry, I didn't even get you off. Yeah, I pretty much finished.

Oh, okay. That's your podcast. Yeah. People, I mean, I have such an appreciation for just people with good entertainment value. You know what I mean? And people forget that he was like the kid. Like when he went on that crackhead like rant, that was like one of the best interviews of all times. I feel like his most entertaining like, I guess, performance is something that wasn't on TV or in a movie.

Probably not. Probably him coming on five hookers faces while high on crack. Yeah, as like an actor, I was never like, whoa, this guy. There's a sheen to him. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But I don't know. I was always like there's an Estevez to him because that's his real name.

Oh, really? But yeah, that's like such... He's Puerto Rican? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, he's Hispanic. Yeah, yeah. His dad is, what's his name? Emilio Estavis? Yeah, yeah, yeah, or that's his brother,

they're all, you know, doing stuff. Wow. But he, like, that interview is, just to be sitting down with an interview where she's like, are you using? He's like, using what? Using a vacuum cleaner? I use a lot of things.

drugs? No, I don't use drugs anymore. I'm like a couple days sober off using drugs. And then he's like, there was drugs in his house. Trust me, I wouldn't know about them. But there weren't because I did. Yeah, yeah. And then he's like, he's just bragging about how Hardy Party. And it's just so funny when like CBS is at your house. And he's like, he's like, I was banging seven gram rocks.

He goes, I make Mick Jagger, Frank Sinatra, look like a bunch of armless children. And I'm like, that's such a crazy thing to say. Yeah, like, you're like, yeah, because you know how armless children are losers? That's how I think of Mick Jack. They can't do drugs. Yeah, and fuck a bunch of hookers. Yeah. Could you imagine, like, just saying that.

People say, like, Trump has no filter, but that's what he would be if he had no filter. Oh, totally. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Just like asking someone if they do drugs, and he's like, absolutely not. I don't do drugs. I'm a few days sober. But when I did, I did him better than anyone. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

I was banging seven gram rocks. I got tiger blood. He's like, I only got, I'm bipolar. What does it even mean? He goes, I'm by winning. I went over here and I went over here. Was he like a teen icon? Yeah, yeah.

Jake might know more of that. He's got a teen icon expert. He got really famous and he was young. Charlie Teen. Yeah. And then he wasn't really in much for a long time. Yeah, he was in baseball, the movie. Fever pitch, was it?

Perfect, perfect game. Perfect pitch perfect. He was in pitch. classic baseball movie. But you didn't have to cut me off. Dude, his, I mean, the really fucked up stuff is his stuff with, you look at the pitch perfect soundtrack and chop suey is in there. He did chop suey.

It's the Charlie Sheen cameo. I mean, the best is the picture of him, Johnny Depp and Alex Jones, just like drunk as shit together. Like, that is the craziest group of dudes. Dude, yeah. If you're a woman, like, do not go near.

Could you imagine all three of them just hitting you? He's like, Hey, how's it going? And like, you want to check out my bracelets? Just all three of them trying to raise you up.

Yeah. We were laughing earlier about Alex Jones, or not Alex Jones, what's his name? Neil deGrasse Tyson, like explaining diarrhea. Diarrhea. Diarrhea.

It's, Usually, diarrhea. It's usually from an excess of protein powder and white pussy. You ever seen that he used to do this thing where there'd be a famous movie out and then like a sci-fi movie. And he would just tweet about how it couldn't be real. And he didn't understand why people were mad at them. Neil DeGrasse Tyson? Yeah.

That's so funny. Actually, Star Wars wouldn't work like. And they're like, Star Wars is clearly not real. Just shut up. I'm not fucking stupid. Yeah, we were talking about the way this started, like, how fun it would be to have a guest on, like a serious guest, like Neil DeRas Tyson. And then your other guest is just somebody who has shit in their pants. And they, you have to watch, like, a really serious person respond.

But, like, they don't, you don't know this guy has shit in his pants. So, like, there's a guy with just diarrhea in his pants sitting next to Neil's Grass Tyson. And he has to, like, try to talk science while not, like, just responding to, because he's not going to be like, it smells like fucking shit in here. Like, he's going to still try to be serious the whole time. Smells like Neptune's outer ring here. He was a big wrestler in an ice guy. I've seen those pictures of him. He's fucking jam.

Yeah, he looked like Andre the Giant. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Andre the Supernova. I'm going to say I was really good at wrestling. Just whenever things come up. I was not good at all, but there's pictures of me. Mike was like, I was really good at wrestling. I got hard first.

I got hard first. Dude, I keep seeing the, video on Twitter of this girl wrestling this guy and she's like kicking the shit out of him but she's just like painting him down and it's like how do you not get hard? He's like stop.

No. Cut it out. I can't believe. I can't believe you're too beautiful. You're trying to call for the judge. You're like, your honor. Dude, how would that work?

Are they allowed to wrestle in the same division like a guy with Down? No, I think they have to go into the Nacho cheese division. You've got to wrestle with Down syndrome. Your coach is like, look, you're not going to win on strength. You're going to have to outsmart this guy. It's a puzzle.

Trick him. Yeah. Yeah, I don't know. Put gummy worms in your shoes. He'll go for the legs. Get him in a headlock. You're going to need to really work to get him in that headlock. It's like trying to catch a shark.

in the ocean. Yeah, there was all these weird rules of wrestling where I was like, um, takeling's not like technically illegal in wrestling, which is kind of wild

that like nobody just, I think nobody wants to try it because it like looks. Yeah. But it like, I think it would genuinely work. Are capes illegal? No,

you can wear a fucking, you can wear a cape, yeah. Capes are like coming out. They're like, they're like, people are just wearing them as fashion choices.

Fuck yes, dude. Yeah, I always love somebody doing something different. I like it. I, I think capes are great. As long as you're not one of those assholes wear something crazy

and you're like, why do you have to stare at me? It's like, nah, you're dressed like a seagull right now. I'm gonna stare at you. And if there's a man just in a suit with like a red cape.

Wow. I think that guy owns Blackstone. Yeah. That's a man of importance. Yeah. Oh, that would be so sick to be the CEO of a company. Be like,

I wear a cape, if anybody comments on it, you're fucking fired. Well, when I was like a kid, I probably would have been that if I saw that guy, I'd be like, it's probably my dad's boss or something. That's why my dad is like shuffling me away from him in Times Square.

He's like, doesn't want to run into his boss. Yeah, that shows something. Like, people are going to start wearing crowns too, I think. Love it. Love all of it. Yeah. Grills were kind of that for a little bit, you know. Grills are awesome.

Yeah, I just don't know how you talk with them in. Like, I've put in, like, I just put tin foil in my mouth. I was going to sing grills. I remember for the talent show. And it was like we put in, me and all my friends were like practicing and we put like, you know the song Grills right by Nelly. Yeah.

Smile for me, Dad. What you look in it? Yeah, I had the Paul Walver, so I was so pumped for that because I was like, yeah, he kind of reminds me myself a little bit, you know, being white and all. But I remember our parents were like,

no, you're not going to like do grills for the talent show. Oh, really? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. And then like somebody brought up, they're like, you know, there was a young black girl that performed show and she played a nice piano song and I'm like that doesn't deflect from the fact that I like grills. Yeah.

Yeah. It's a pretty harmless song. Yeah, it's a fun song. It might be one of the cleanest rap songs. I like, I like them too because it's basically just like showing someone that you have at one point had like $40,000. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's all of it. Usually exactly that much. If you have drills, usually you had exactly. Yeah, your t-shirt has like a whole like you are negative money other than Those grills.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Like, you can't, like, sell them, right? Do they start to stink? I don't know. We should get a grills expert on here. We should. And a guy with diarrhea in his pants. Yeah.

Oh, man. But the, yeah, the tickling wrestling, I will say this, there was one move you could do. You could put your chin into somebody's chest and tickle them that way. Oh, really? Because it kind of tickles like that. It gives you, like, a little massage thing. Yeah. I also didn't know.

Did you ever do that you just gently put your hand on someone's face? it's like putting a finger in their mouth yeah yeah there's a lot of because there's a lot of things you can do with your body yeah yeah yeah yeah there's different techniques and stuff

I've heard of people saying fighter there's fighters who will purposely smell like shit so like it's just but like that's not actually gonna affect purposely yeah poor people can you just like kick someone can you just run out

and just fucking kick them no it's wrestling Okay. Yeah, yeah. You have to like... And you can't punch, obviously. Now, wrestling is such a weird thing where it's like,

it's like, just no striking. You just have to like... It's such a tricky thing. It's like I tricked you into put your arm there so then I wrapped my arm around you and you didn't think I was to put my fingers in here. See, I'm not a big fan of fighting like any kind of athletic thing like that

if it's not something you would use in the streets. Okay. Because if like in the streets, you wouldn't, you know, you wouldn't just grab. You wouldn't be nuzzling someone. Right, right. Trying to get them to laugh. Yeah, yeah.

Well, now it's, also something interesting I looked up is, do you know tickle torture was like a legitimate thing? Really? Yeah, I don't know. It was like a legitimate torture because like they would do it so much that your muscles, you'd start to like convulse and then your muscles like getting so much pain that like you apparently like, you would die from getting to, like people got tickled to death. I got jacked from getting tickled.

Yeah. I got it. I'm just at the gym like Hanging upside down. I kind of like the idea of having a guy tickling you like just like a Russian mob looking guy with like a missing eye.

Or just a Chinese guy with a stick just like, ah! You will be strong! Just a bamboo stick with a feather at the end of it. He's just tickling your feet. Dude, that would be so sick doing like kung fu training in the regular gym.

Just me and like the smallest Asian man just teaching me moves. That could be like a fun public prank video. Me like getting kung fu lessons in A. Yeah. And like you just have like swords. Like paint buckets. Like I have buckets of water on like a stick.

Yeah, you're walking on stilts. Yeah. And then like you're just like crawling through like tall grass. there are many elements of surprise. You have to learn them all. He's releasing bees on me. I have to try to catch them or something. Just so insane.

They're like, you can't be at this blink fitness or you have to leave. There's crickets everywhere. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, that would be fun. I miss a little bit of that in the gym because every time you go to the gym, there's like a story. There's someone doing something.

Yeah, there's always like, there's a couple different things. There's like, there's Hispanic dudes making hype workout videos. Yeah. There's a thing where they're just getting jacked, but they're also like recording. They're like, fuck yeah, bro. Get another fucking shit.

Yeah. And then you have that. You have like, just so many hot shit. It's crazy how many beautiful women. I mean, it makes sense because like they're the people who care about their appearance. But then you see like Hassids working out, which is always interesting. Yeah. I'll see like a Hasidic woman just doing curls just getting like jacked as shit.

I'm like, that's kind of awesome. That's what I would do if I didn't know how to leave a cult. I'd be like, I guess I got to get really strong. strong first. Yeah. Then I'm going to stand up to my husband. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Then I'm going to pick up all my bags. Yeah, yeah. They are like, I would say strength-wise women to men, that's the closest group of people to each other

because Jewish men are so weak. Yeah. And Jewish women are so strong and beautiful. Yeah, yeah. I don't know. Yeah, I think it is a... Like, when you see them walking together,

they look like the same size. Sometimes, though. There's something about Hasidic men though, they get very, a lot of them you know what it is? If you're not married like, I don't know, you get the hat when you get married, is that how that works? I love that we just,

we've been lived in this neighborhood for like a year and have done zero learning about the culture that surrounds us. Just all speculation. You're like, I think the hat means you're married or you're not married or... I like to imagine... I think the hat might mean that you're a Hasidic Jewish man. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Great, great discovery. But those, it seems like if you're wearing the hat you're a guy. I do like the idea. Yeah, I like the idea. Yeah. do like you get the hat from doing something really Jewy. Like you get the hat from like buying something for less than $3 using all change.

But I've never seen a thin one with the hat. The always ones wearing a hat are the fat ones. And if you have a yarmaca, you're thin. I don't see a lot of fat guys in yarmacas. Yeah, I don't know. I wonder what the correlation there is. we just call, why don't we just call our landlord? Let's just get them on the horn.

Sam. Hey, what's going on with this? That's cool. You got to respect the culture that like, no. Likes, like, fat people. They're like, oh, you're like, well built. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

You got to get you a new hat. Totally, yeah, yeah, yeah. I asked him because I was like, yeah, because remember how we paid first and last month rent in a security deposit? Because wasn't it like nine grand total to get this place? We paid a heft. some. So I was like, so we don't have to pay

the last month rent. And he's like, are you staying at the end of the year? And I said, no. And then he just never responded. That money goes to us. But we're probably staying. Yeah. So you get your deposit. Yeah. Did you say that to him? No. No. So he's like,

fuck. I've got to find this money. Yeah. Yeah. It's like that scene in its wonderful life. We're like, his money's over here. His money's over here. It's basically just describing how banks work to angry mob of people. It would be nice to get him on the podcast.

Dude, I would love to. Yeah, yeah. Yeah. It'd be funny if he had his own microphone that comes out of his hat. It just drops down. Or it's like a headpiece. Like, you know, like one of those?

He just pulls his hat down. Yeah. Dude, can we do? Can we have Gamer set? I love that idea. Like the Gamer headset? You can do whatever you want, dude. Damn, what an endless world.

It's so excited. I'm in such a good mood today. This morning I was a little. grumpy, but now I feel fucking fan. And I'm disgusting. My whole body is sweaty. My balls are drenched and sweat. Have not brushed my teeth. Haven't showered. I've been brushing my teeth less as I get older. Interesting. I'm starting to believe less in like dentistry. Yeah. Dude, I haven't been to the dentist in like four years. Yeah. And my teeth have not hurt once. Yeah. Now I brush every morning. Yeah. Yeah. Well, I've also like, I for a while would, I did that for a very long time. But now,

that I'm trying to, like, attract, I, like, will brush my... But, like... I push your teeth seven times. Yeah, now I'm not getting tense about it. But I think the, yeah, the thing, too, is, like, I don't, like... I used to brush my teeth in the morning and then just go to bed because I'm like, nobody's going to see me from the hours of... You know what I mean?

It's like, yeah. Yeah, yeah, exactly. Yeah, also, I think mouthwash is more powerful. It hurts more, so it works probably better. Probably. Just do mouthwash. Just drink three gallons of mouthwash. Yeah, yeah, you'll be fine.

The gym thing's funny. because I now feel a little bit braver around homeless people, which is just hilarious. I'm like, no, look at homeless guys. I'm like, maybe I could take bullies in the school. Maybe I could stand out for myself, but definitely not. That was one of the biggest myths ever. Like the karate guy would come to school and be like, do you want to learn how to defend yourself against bullies?

And it's like with karate? Yeah, yeah. I also, you said that very, you guys had a karate guy come to school and tell you to defend, Dude, all the time. Did you have that? A karate guy. A karate guy. I did not.

Yeah, well, we had like a local guy who was, it was a white guy. Yeah, I'm sure they did not have it. How much karate did they even allow you to know? Yeah. And he had a black belt, but it's like if you own the thing, you're just going to put a black belt on. Oh, totally. Because all it is is is sale. It's the most common color.

of belt you can find. But yeah, they would come. And we also had a, you know, like the Wiggles. We had like a knockoff version of the Wiggles that would come. They were called the Zucchini Brothers. And they would sing some tunes. That was nice. We had some good assemblies, dude.

We had the author of Amelia Bedelia. Oh, right. She must have been goofy as hell. It was a guy. Oh, really? Was he like dropping stuff all? Because Amelia Bideli is like a little like chaotic, right? What's the word?

clumsy. What's the word for a clumsy person? Like, you call him like a... Climsy fool? No. A, um... I don't know. A clutz.

Clots. Clots. Yeah. Well, Amelia Bedelia's whole Delio was kind of that she would... Was his name Amelia Bedelia? She would... Whatever you said, she would just do it specifically. Right.

Yeah, yeah. Yeah, she'd be like, go... Yeah, we gave example. So they were like, can you like cut the grass? This is a bad one. Cut the grass. She would, like, go out with scissors and, like, cut the grass. Amelia.

Yeah, yeah. Again? Yeah. One of them was prune the hedges, and she, like, took prunes and, like, put them on. It was a weird. That's fun. But that was every book was just her taking the literal interpretation of whatever you're saying. That's fun.

You know who is annoying guys to read a book like that and be like, dude, no way you could have thought of that without being on LSD. Like, people that don't understand imagination. They're just like, dude, rely on the witch to the wardrobe. He was on so many fucking shrooms, dude. It's in that you're like, how else do you think of a guy who's got little goat legs? Because your brains are totally fucked up. Yeah, that's true. I could never escape that always.

Yeah, yeah. The funny part is somebody brought this up. I saw like a random tweet. It was like, why the fuck did they try to get to sell magazines so much in high school? Like, did you guys ever have that magazine assembly shit? It was supposed to raise money for something. But then you would get like a cool. I remember there was one of the prizes.

It was so sick. It was like a portable blender. And I wanted it so bad because I was like, I'm going to drink milkshakes all. Like just me in class. The teacher's like, does anybody know the answer? I'm just like, no, actually I sold the magazines so I can just use this. So I'm allowed to disrupt. I'm the teacher.

Yeah, they would have put like crazy prizes in those things. Like someone would be like a military drone. I'm sad. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Is this supposed to get a top-down view of my Pokemon card game? Yeah, yeah, yeah, we were great. We had some, uh, I missed this one, but there's a woman named Pam Stensel.

Look up Pam Stensel. I think she's been on Toshpoint now and stuff like that. She apparently, this is the year after I left because I went to prep school for whatever, who cares about my life. Anyways, I left. And apparently this woman, she came to an assembly and was like, look to your left, look to your right. One of those people has AIDS.

It was like, when it was like insane. And the school apparently, like, apologized, She's like, sorry, we thought this woman was just going to tell them not the fucking ass. She's, we had no idea. Man, when we said a prep school, that's not the prep. Yeah, we were talking about. Yeah, you don't tell us all the kids have AIDS.

Yeah, I like that marketing prep, like prepare yourself to get AIDS. Or is it to prepare yourself to not give somebody? Do you take it when you have AIDS? You both, both. You take it to not get AIDS and then you take it to not give AIDS. so it's yeah it's some one of those things that you know we had two people with AIDS come to my middle school you to talk about having AIDS

and one of them was like this gay guy and the other one was this black woman and she got it from like the gay guy she got it from like she like her husband or her boyfriend at the time was like sharing needles doing steroids

oh and she got it from him and the gay guy I got it from, you know, gay sex or whatever. Yeah. And he gave his speech and it was like really sad. And but he was like, but I'm fine because they take all these drugs. It's like not even a thing. And then the woman, I forget her name, but she starts talking and she was like so

funny. She was like the funniest person. Gave this awesome speech. Everyone's like standing up clapping and like pointing at her and shit. And then the guy was standing behind her like, he has to go to every school with her. I got a, it's the fair way. he just has to fucking bomb and then let this lady like

I don't give a fuck I got AIDS and I was like yeah just because my stupid ass boyfriend was sharing me that's awesome I'm glad there's a place for people with AIDS

like if your life is really shitty you can kind of like become like a touring act yeah totally yeah dude I knew there's a comic who like got a drunk driving accident and lost his ability to walk

and his other job is just speaking in high school was being like, hey, don't drive drunk. Yeah. But he still drinks, but he's just like, don't drive. He also still gets to do comedy. He just has to do five minutes up top

about how serious it is to drink and drive. So one time, me and my friends, he could go right into it. Yeah, assemblies were sweet. We always had this like anti-bullying one. Yeah. And they brought this one kid up

who was just like ruthlessly bullied. And like he was talking to him and like everyone is like crying. And then I, one of my friends just ripped a loud fart in the place just exploded and the guy on stage was so mad he was like, find out who that was.

Yeah. Oh man, what a way to like target yourself. I know he like, bullying's wrong or whatever. Yeah. But to pull a kid up and be like, come talk about how much everyone fucking hates you. Dude, we had a teacher rip. She had the best thing.

She gets on the assembly. She goes, there's been a vicious rumor going around. All right, now that I got your intention, We're going to do clubs after editing. We were like, oh, you got us good. We had the best assemblies when I was a kid. Because they would separate the boys and girls a lot because it was like, they like diagnosed the problem as like,

this is the boys doing this. Yeah. So we had assemblies for like punching each other in the balls. And then we had one assembly for, it was always the same guy. So he was an assistant principal. I shouldn't sit his name, sorry. No, no.

Yeah, you know who you are. You know what you do. Let's cut. But this guy, he was like a, he was like six, eight, just fucking enormously jacked guy. And he was like, he would get so mad. So we had one assembly for, it was called ball tapping when you punch some of the balls. But he kept calling it testicle snapping. Stop fun dance.

Snapping each other's testicles. And we were like, you got to be, shit, me. There's no funnier word than testicles. And then we had an assembly like a month later was just some kid wrote. something on the bathroom wall in his own shit. Yeah. And then he just, like, kept doing it for a while. And so we had an assembly, he's like,

who's writing on the bathroom wall in their own feces? And then the kid did it again the same day. That's awesome. Left the assembly and was like, fuck that guy. Everyone knew who it was, too, and no one ran around. Yeah, it was a kid that smelled like shit. A kid that has shit all over his hands.

See, that's why I hate my. brain. I hate how much I respect somebody doing something like that. I have so much respect for it. It's so funny. I'm like, that's so awesome. Like, there's got to be a moment where you're just riding your shit in the wall, you're like, the feeling of wiping your own shit

on a wall, you're like, I don't give a fuck about it. You're like, my handwriting is getting better. That's like carving your initials into your prison cell wall. I hate being here so much, but I'm still me, God damn. My voice will not be silenced. Damn, that's sick.

we had a when I was playing baseball in high school we were in like this state championship thing for our summer team and they brought us all into this it was like televised on the local TV so they brought us all into

like this room and these guys who were like representing the tournament and stuff like gave us a speech and they're like they kept telling us they're out on the ball diamond they kept calling it a ball diamond so we're like okay he's like when you're out of the ball diamond, don't go grabbing your dicks.

He's like, everybody just wants to go out. They start grabbing their dicks. You're on TV. You don't grab your dicks on TV. It's so funny because I'd never heard that speech before. They just didn't want us to grab our cocks. Yeah, yeah. But I was a catcher and I had a cup and I was always just fucking adjusting that thing.

Yeah. It would like slide out like up to like my chest. There was a huge controversy in my high school where the lacrosse team and they were playing a game against another team and they beat them. And so as the other team is like packing their shit up all the guys just started,

they like got in a line and like teabagged the other team like not on their faces but like presented their assholes and lifted their balls and we're doing that to them. Wait, wait, wait, wait, what is tea bagging for you guys? It's not the type where it's on, someone's face. Okay.

But they like pulled their balls up and like all got in the line backs toward the other team and just went like this. Oh, that's awesome. Like the Halo T-bagged them. Yeah. And it was like a huge controversy. And all these like we had to have. The Boston T-bag party.

We had like multiple assemblies about why you shouldn't do that. And we're like, it's not like a cool new drug world trying. What are you talking about? Yeah. They tried to do that with planking for us. they got like really mad that people were just planking everywhere and they brought us in and showed us like a thing about the dangers of planking. Dude, how many...

It's just laying down flat somewhere, right? Yeah, the danger. First it's planking and then it's PCP. This is the P stands for a planking. Then it's overthrowing the government. Yeah. I bet you there's a serious galaxy gas assemblies going on now. Oh my God, yeah.

and the kids are just ripping it in the... We had a galaxy gas assembly here. Yeah. We did. We did have to have a galaxy gas assembly. Dude, it's so funny, too,

because, like, so lizards don't know, I, on Saturday was like, I'm definitely getting galaxy gas. Yeah. And if you don't know, it's Whippets,

but it's all in one container. And it's the most, it's not loud. It's essentially, like, what the packs was for weed. Yeah, yeah,

for Whipids. Yeah, I was literally, walking through Hell's Kitchen, just using it like a giant vape. I was like, I could just walk around and just do whippets silently. I mean, of course I look insane because I'm holding a tank of things. But

yeah, I did too many of them. Mommy, is that man a balloon? No, honey, he's a drug addict. Run away. But that I did it and you guys hid the thing for me because I was doing it too much? Well, you did it to a point where you just like slumped

over with your eyes closed. That's how you do it. That's how you do it. I'm not for like a minute. And I was like, okay, we got it. But there's somebody too, because randomly, I'm just in conversation. I'm looking around. I'm like, hey, where's the thing?

And you guys are like, I don't know. Yeah. It was sad, dude. It was like hanging out with Stevo. Oh, come on. I'm not as fun as Stevo. That's the coolest guy of the planet. I part took.

I did two balloons. It's fun. The only thing is there's a flavor to it, because that's a whole point, right? Is there, there's a flavor. I think Galaxy gas, I got like a knockoff one. So I got to go back and now and get the real. galaxy.

Because there was like a weird little like almost like a cereal flavor to it which I didn't like. I would rather just regular. Yeah. We'll trade it out next time for that. It is so funny to just have that in your closet and it's just like I haven't done it since. But in your brain you're like

I could just be so high on wippets right now. Just calling people like do you need Venezuelan workers? You're like it is a very accessible thing. You don't feel terrible after though? No, there's no hangover. I always feel like I have a headache. No, that's just what the government wants you to think.

Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's also just what I feel. No, no, no, no, no, no. Propaganda. But the lame stream media. Yeah, it is pretty cool stuff, though. I'll give them that.

I understand why the teens think it's all hip. Well, yeah, that's why I was like, I was like, this will be off the shelf in a week. I'm doing it before it's off. Yeah. Like, you used to be able to buy salvia at stores. Not that that's cool, but if I, if I would have been around And then I'll be like, oh, yeah, let's see what this is all about.

Dude, Salvia, I've never done it, but I always thought it was, like, the worst thing ever. Because, like, Miley Cyrus did it. They were like, Miley Cyrus is doing salvia. Who's next? And then Michael Phelps hit, like, a bong. And he was like, oh, no, that wasn't weed. It was salvia. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

And at the time, I was like, oh, thank God it wasn't weed. But, like, Salvia is fucking crazy. Yeah, it's a, and I don't know, a single, but, My cousin is the only person I know who's had a good experience. Every single person I've talked to has had the worst experience of life on it. Don't you live an entirely different life? Yeah, they say it's like Eli was talking about it. And he was saying he like did it.

And then he turned into a car. And like it's like not. His story was like he did it. And then his like vision faded out. And then he just saw like it was like he was standing in the middle of the highway and there's a truck coming towards him. And like honking its horn. And he couldn't move. And then as the truck is about.

to hit him. It just, he just faded back in the real... But you're laughing, so everybody thinks you're having a good time. But apparently the laughing isn't a fun laughing. It's like, it's like tickle torture laugh. We're like, you're in pain, but you're laughing. You're like, ah, everybody's like, what a good time he's having, but really you're like, this is a nightmare. Yeah.

Yeah, but it's like, um, yeah, I don't know, it's fuck. Does it look like weed? Not real. I mean, it's like planty. Like, it's like, it just looks like crushed up leaves. Okay. But it's like, uh, it's such a, uh, it's such a, uh, I don't know, it's such an unpositive thing. I remember being really funny. I had like a class. We had like a study, you ever like a study hall class or anything like that?

Yeah. This is an eighth grade. My teacher knew I was really cool. And so she knew I like thought, it was always like talking about, uh, I'm gonna eat, do drugs and stuff like that or whatever. So, uh, she, uh, we had to do like a project on like drugs. And she printed out a little packet about salvia and she put it on my desk. She goes salvia, check it out. Like as if, as if I'm like a detect or like a, like a, what's it called? Like a, like a news person. Like she's like, This is today's story. Yeah, like a reporter. Salvia.

She just threw it on my desk. Wait, so she suspected that you might get into. I would just talk to her about it. I'd be like, yeah, I fucking spoke weed and shit. What are you going to do about it, bitch? And she's like, but are you this cool? Yeah, yeah. Did she want you to do it or did she want you to learn about it?

I think she was just like, she like knew we had to like write about stuff, but she's like, oh yeah, here you go. Take a look at this. Wow. Yeah. That's a bad idea for a teacher, I feel like. Well, everything was like, dude, we always had those things. Like, we had like a drug class and then you.

Back in the day, you would research drugs in a textbook. It was very biased. And it would say drugs are bad. Don't do them. But then when I got to that age, the internet was around. So every kid did a drug presentation was like, these are not bad. They're like, none of these are really that bad for you. Like I remember my friend had a presentation on Molly.

And he's like, yeah, if you do it like once every six months, you're like serotonin can rebuild. It's like really not a problem. He like said that in the presentation. And then I remember I did mine on acid. And I was like, oh, yeah, as long as you're not doing it all the time. or have schizophrenia. It's fine. Like, it's not like the end of the world.

Tommy has a great joke about, like, experimenting with drugs. He's like, I'm not doing heroin. I'm doing an experiment. Forming a lab research. Dude, that crackhead, there's one in the bodega. I hate when he's getting into a fight with, like, when a crackhead girlfriend and boyfriend are fighting, is just so uncarned for everybody

because you're like, is he going to hit her? Do I have to defend her? Yeah, I would love to walk up to the crackhead girlfriend and boyfriend just in like a long trench coat smoking a cigar or like a top hat and just be like,

I had love like that once many years ago. You must hold on. I thought you're going to say, you're going to say, I work for the government and everything you guys believe is correct. They are coming from.

Yeah, And they just run away. It was so funny too because it was so typical, like, guy. You should, you should walk up to one of those guys and hand them a card with your number on it and just be like, hey, see anything. You should let me know. Yeah. And then just see what they say to you. And then just play the recordings on this podcast.

I'm going to do that. That's a great idea. Such a good idea. Yeah. And then just review the recordings. Yeah. That could be your whole show. If you just smoke crack and think about things on day, you.

you got to come on to something. I know. You got to come across something. Because I feel like also, you and I, Michael, in our podcast and careers, we're getting to the point where every podcast we've ever done, we have nothing to talk about. Right, yeah. It would be nice to have like a structure.

Yeah. And then we can use the skills that we've created by just saying nonsense for an hour. Yeah. And then like, it could be so that could be the... This is a really good idea. That could be great. I'm going to give crack ads my phone number. just have them call and leave voicemails.

The only thing is you get a lot of, what are they called? Telemarketers. Sam? Yeah, he goes all the time. Also, it's going to be fun the different kinds of numbers. I mean, I have the same guy calling off of different.

Yeah, homeless guy's going to call you. It's just going to be, his number is going to be like 28. How did he get this? Yeah. man that's a yeah that's a good idea yeah yeah yeah I'm very I like that idea yeah I had a crackhead it was so funny this crackhead he I was sitting on the bench and watched square park on the phone with my brother because he goes hey man do you have any money he's in a wheelchair I go no and he goes they get the fuck out of here and I got up and left and I'm like in that case I could have stood

up for myself when the guy's in a wheelchair like I don't know like I still was like I don't want to get stuck out of the wheel no he's in the wheelchair and he comes up to me sitting down He goes, do you have any money? He goes, well, they get the fuck out of him. Yeah, you just slowly turn him around and face him against the wall. His leg was like a, he clearly like was missing a foot. Is that a spider on me? No, no, it's a furry ball thing.

But I was like, in my mind, I was like, why did I get about, because I just, I assume if you're homeless, you have a weapon on you. Because why would you not? You have to sleep on the streets. Like, I assume you have someone to kind of shank always, right? Why would you? Yeah, but it's never like a, it's never like a ray gun. it's always like a sharpened piece of chalk or something. Yeah.

I've seen around near where we live, there was like construction going on. There's like the bank over there. Yeah. And the guys who were doing construction just left their tools on the street. And when I came back from the hall place, I walked by and there was a homeless guy just kind of like looking through the tools. I was like, I'm going to take the long way home. I made a huge mistake. I was drunk the other night and I just gave a homeless gay.

I got to get homeless guy a four loco. And I'm like, that is lighting a firework. That's like there's nothing. That is the same as giving Iran nukes. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You could not do that? It'll be the same out. It was the thing.

It was like, hey, man, can I get some drink? And I think I've done this before. I was in the store and he's like, that one. And I was like, oh, I thought he'd need him like a beer. And I was like, I'm not going to argue with him about the logistics between four loco and beer. I'm not going to no, no, no, no, no. This is too much caffeine for you.

he's trying to get his bang for his book You should have just handed on the galaxy gas You've arrived at your destination Sir Holy shit I'm gonna get a job What if we dose them all with acid We just said everybody go inside

If you have a house And then everyone goes in Just starts pouring acid from the sky Just drain Like all over them They're like it's going in and they have these crazy life-changing experiences where they're like, wow, I'm inside.

I wanted to be a milkman. We go outside society is like functioning very well. They're like penny farthings and like pinstripe suits. I dreamed of being a railroad mechanic. I threw that away. Well, that's what they used to do. The whole 60s stuff was so funny. They were just, they just had acid.

They were like, I don't know. if we gave it to goats? What if we, what if we, what if we, what if we gave it to schizophrenic people? Yeah. And I also kind of stand with those scientists. Yeah. I know a lot of them were Nazis. Yeah, but you got to try, you got to experiment. Totally. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Because you got to know, because you never know, you could give a goat acid and all of a sudden it just starts pissing and it's piss can cure cancer. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Something like that could happen. Yeah, yeah, for sure. Probably not, but. Well, apparently that's just how government, like, my brother was trying to explain this to me

because I think it's crazy that the CIA spent fucking whatever there's $20 million worth of research that was funded for psychic viewings or whatever and I was like that's fucking crazy my brother's like yeah but like that's like not an uncommon thing

that they'll just get a bunch of money to try something kind of wild but I heard the most interesting thing on a podcast this guy was talking about how like I wonder if someone like saw the show that's so Raven I got an idea. Well, it's more like remote. It was specifically remote viewing, which is like seeing around corners and stuff like that.

Yeah. But the crazy fucking thing about remote viewing is like, or psychic power, somebody brought this up, it's like, the whole theory on like psychics, and I think a lot of that stuff is fucking nonsense, but this kind of makes a little bit of sense

is that animals are psychic in a way because they're not communicating using language, but they are communicating with each other. Like they are kind of using telepathy in a way. And like humans before they discovered language probably were better at telepathically communicating. Because if you think about it, it's like when we didn't have language, like you would look at somebody and now you could understand in other ways

what they're thinking. Yeah, because we created so many words. Yeah, yeah. And everybody's brain got lazy and you're like, I don't need this. If you're like, Patty, what am I thinking of? I have to go through all of the different words. But if we didn't have language, I would know that it's pussy. Yeah, yeah, yeah, exactly.

Yeah. So, like, that kind of makes sense. And the whole theory is that like some people just have like a thing where they still have that gene or whatever. Yeah. Yeah. I feel like me and my dad have that a little bit. Yeah, I am. Because we don't have as much of like a dialogue as we do.

We just kind of sit and feel the same things. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. You know? But like if he had to like take a piss, I probably wouldn't know by the way he looks. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. You couldn't tell. Well, then it's like the whole, it's like a similar thing to. So the people that don't listen to the other guests just got them and left.

We're so, I mean, we're, what do we fucking 51? Nah, I'm, I kind of like that being just like a we're on the couch potty. Like, this is not, this is, like, I'm having a great time this way. There's no pressure. This is just hanging out. But I was talking to my dad about it. And he's like, yeah, well, it's probably how, like, there's some amount of pheromones, but it's crazy that, like, gorillas can, like, know a gorilla is, like, really far.

Like, there's certain ways that, like, other animals, you know. Or, like, fucking ants they all know to come together and do that shit. It's like, they have no brain at all. Yeah. That stuff is crazy. Insects are wild, dude. Because if they were blown up to, like, our size, it would be, like, a hundred times stronger than us.

It's such a crazy idea that God had to have been on fucking shrew. Yeah, dude, God gets fucking hot. You don't just think of that. You don't just think of ants? And then you're like, wait, what if we made them red? Nobody ever would have thought to make the ants red. That was one of the fucking lamest. There was a song like that that goes,

I think God smokes. and he was high when he made me I could feel it in my DNA Also I've never felt my DNA What are you fucking talking about? I could imagine him getting high And just like building like shaping the body And just losing his mind laughing at the penis

Yeah Because it is such a like the whole The man like man like the shape of man And the muscles everything is so like masculine Until you get to the penis The goofy is looking at the planet literally, yeah, like a Disney cartoon character. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Yeah, the balls are just the funniest looking thing. They are. Yeah. It doesn't, it seems like there could be a better system for the balls, though. There should be muscle. It's crazy. I don't understand why. I guess apparently the reason for it being on the outside of the box.

Somebody tried to explain this to me. I don't know. Yeah, there should be almost like a, like a cage around them, like where they put the divers so they can like see sharks. Just a skeleton cage around your balls, yeah. Because they're just so exposed and like everything is harmful to balls. But you know it is funny. Like I remember like you get hitting the nuts when you're a kid.

People were like, now you can never have kids anymore. And like I'd get like genuinely worried about that. But then you hear somebody like Joe Rogan talking about he's like, oh yeah, I was kicked the balls like a hundred times. You know, that guy's still squirt and come out of his winner. Yeah, it is. I don't know how confirmed that is because I haven't seen any reports. but last time I checked,

Joe Rogan was squirting and come out of this winter. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, like, that guy has kids, I don't know. Yeah, yeah. I never had, like, a bad shot to the balls, but I've had a lot of friends at baseball that got hit in the nuts. Yeah, I'm kind of the same way

I've never had a really bad. Yeah. I could use one. I don't know, dude. You don't think so? No, because, like, my friend, he had to go to the hospital. He was, like, batting,

and he swung and foul-tipped it straight off his nuts. and they had to like essentially like air lift him to the hospital like because he just like went out and he started like throwing up blood it was like really bad yeah but uh and then i know another kid that got hitting the nuts on the ground ball and they had to like put a blanket around him it's kind of funny you turn into like eleanor roosevelt yeah that's some of the idea of the guy or i don't know why i was thinking of fDR i love the idea of him and like he gets in the balls and he's just now in a wheelchair with a blanket on him just riding around the top ad. They're like, he's disabled now from getting hit the balls. But it'll be a great president. Did you see that Batman thing I sent

you that probably was not legitimate? The Adam West thing? There's some article that's coming out that Adam West apparently had sex. There's so many women that he was banned from Aspen, Colorado for like 15 years. And there's no way that's legitimate, but I did look at it more and the stories about

Adam West are so sick. He apparently was just getting him and the guy that dressed like Robin would just have sex with a bunch of women in like in between takes Okay Robin, let's go get our dick sweat Sure thing, Batman.

Yeah And it was like, because they'd have to like shoot like other scenes Like there'd be times where in between like scenes They would be getting pussy in the dressing room like Dude could you imagine just getting your dick sucked dresses that's 1960s Batman? And it's funny the article too The guy that said Robin was talking about goes, yeah, it was the swing in 60s,

which doesn't, that sound just like the cleanest sex? Like, 1960s sex with like a woman. You know, like, I picture they're just banging flight attendants that like are like, I don't know why. I don't picture like, because this was like, I think earlier 60s. I think earlier 60s. So, like I'm not picturing like the hippie gross 60 sex where it's like just like in a bush. I mean, I like bush, but I'm thinking more of like a tame kind of like, you know,

I'm just picturing hot flight attendants blowing him while he smoking cigarettes, dresses bad. I'm like, is there a better? And what a fun TV show to shoot. It's not like you're like, this is hilarious. This time I'm like fighting a shark today at work. Yeah.

Yeah, dude. And the director's going to be like, oh, you acted stupid that time? We're keeping. He's not going to be like, no, no, no, I need you to actually look more angry. This whatever's directed to Batman TV shows.

Probably like, that works, yeah. Do you think that life, the life he lived, more than any other life, any other person has lived, would be more the most ideal thing for you? Yes. Yeah.

Because I think he got married. I don't know if he got married, but like to do that and then get married and have kids when you're like super old or whatever. Yeah. And then you get to live that whole lot. But everybody, you don't look at Adam West and you look back at him getting pussy, not as a gross thing. You're like, ah, it was a little bit of a ladies, man. You're not like that gross sex addict who was dressed up like a bat and fucked a bunch of weird shit. Yeah.

You're like, oh, he was a bit of a playboy back of the day. It just sounds such a clear. Like, in society respects him so much. Yeah. People are like, I love that guy. He's not like a gross pervert. but in reality he was a gross per like a just like

it just doesn't it's he feel all clean yeah yeah like just I like the show just had to be so fun it's like there's episodes where he has a surf off with the joker I'm like that's that's the greatest thing in the world like it's just the silliest thing yeah that show also kind of lends itself well to getting pussy like I couldn't

imagine like a you know like house like the character's an house like I don't know just trying to get fucked between the scenes. They're like, and it's cancer and it's going to kill everyone. Yeah.

And they go to another room. Like, I fucking take my filthy God. Yeah. And he also had that like, he had that like, like muscular 60s guy looked where you just had to lift a couple weights and be kind of fat. And they're like, that's a very strong man. Yeah, yeah.

Like family guy has that bit. It's like the out of shape, sick, 1950s. Like, that's what he looked like. He just had like a, like a beer belly. Yeah, it just looks like some guy who made their own costume. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. It's like, you don't have to be, now it's like, you want to be a superhero.

You have to be, like, crazy amounts to, like, like, they're training to be, like, you're like... You have to be, like, politically correct. Yeah, yeah. You have to be, like, essentially, like, a congressman with Arnold Schwarzenegger's body. Yeah, it's insane just to be like, yeah, I have to be a Superman next year, so I'm going to basically train with the Navy SEALs just to play one... Like, it's fucking insane. Yeah, just to be in a movie that's gonna suck. Yeah, so bad.

Yeah, I don't know. I really like, yeah. Those are nice pants, Jake. Thanks. Where'd you get them, John's? Gap. Gap. You know, that says we're gay and proud.

That's what we'd say. My friends, I know it actually seems for gay American people. And then I just stopped wearing Gap because I was like, no, no, no, I'm attracted to females. I always thought Gap was a baby store and then I realized that's baby Gap. Now I'm going to start going to Gap. I mean, they have great clothes. I'm very much, we're all kind of neutral dressing guys. Yeah.

And I stand by that. I'm not getting too crazy with, you know. Dude, you like this sweatshirt? Yeah. We've got this today. In the mail. It's your sweatshirture. Pretty nice, right?

I like that it's kind of faded at the, uh. Now, I do like watching other people dress all fun and cool. But I'm like, for me, I like just being a neutral person. Yeah, now? Yeah. What time did this start? Seven-ish? Yeah, I'm out.

All right. Take care. Thanks for coming on. I think we're, I mean, we're literally at exactly an hour. That was great timing. Wow. What would you like to promote? Also, look how high my fucking pantser.

I look like Robin from the fan. We're just on our couch. I'm pretty sure the audience could see my penis. You could definitely see my package for this. Okay, so I'm going to promote. Um, let's see. News from bed. Is there anything else going on?

Uh, if you play PGA Tour 2K23, check out the golf courses, the Metropolitan Open and Glorian Estuary. And I have a new one coming out soon called So sovereign sunrise. So stay tuned for that. Yeah. All right. So I guess I won't be seeing your face for another four months while you're in your room. I told myself, I was, I was going to shut it down.

I was like, I'm done with this. You sound like me with the galaxy gas. Thank you.