Morning Good - Wait, I'm a Bad Employee - Episode 113

Episode Date: September 7, 2022

Thanks to Matt Bowman for coming back on the show=this week. Check him out on previous episodes and down at the links below for more great stuff from him. You can find him on Instagram @mattbowmancomedy, and listen to his new podcast Matt Bowman is Bothered.As always, find Michael Good on Instagram @michael_good1125 and on Twitter @agoodmichaelThis podcast was produced by Paxton Fleming, you can find him on Instagram @yaboypax 

Thanks for the F-Shack. Love dirty Mike and the boys. Hey, are you dirty Mike and the boys? How you know who we are? What's this? They called the podcast? Morning good, good? I love that.

Yeah, it's me with the boner on the front. Welcome to morning. Yeah, that's what's... We're going to start the same way. We hear what Matt Bowman. Yeah, what up? And he was talking about how soccer is... You watch his soccer on Peacock.

So I watch soccer on Peacock. Which I think... is feminine. Yeah. No, no. People think it's feminine. Well, sure.

But I do think it's fun. Like, to me, like, their logo is a peacock, but like, the balls to call it peacock. Yeah,

yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I think it's a dumb name, but like, good for you. Yeah, for sticking to your guns. To do that,

that's impressive. Yeah. Because you know that people are just going to fucking cock, right? What is the gay app? The gay stream. I think that's Bravo.

Bravo's cornered that market hard. They have indeed. But, okay, so I'm watching this. I'm watching soccer on Peacock. Yes. Which is NBC.

NBC, I mean, if their channel has a bias, it's going to be left. Right. MMS, NBC, C, NBC, all right. So they lean left. And so I'm sitting there, and it's like half time. So like a commercial comes on. And it's just like, do you have questions about the Denver airport? What?

What about the Freemasons? Conspiracy theories for, it was three conspiracy theory documentaries. And then I was like, what is this? And then at the end of it was like, stream now on Fox. news. And I was like, what the fuck, dude? That's weird. Well, they were, they weren't even, they weren't even hiding it.

Right. Right. Yeah. Because sometimes, because they used to be like, clear truth or were the truth or whatever, like Fox News, but literally this was just like, Freemasons, fucking the Denver airport and one other documentary, one other thing that was, it was just like, no, we're just full-blown fucking wild over here. Like, we're not even trying to find stuff that's cool or stuff that's normal.

This is just... That is fun. It's also, it is weird because, yeah, it's weird that that... I think the soccer demographic isn't really conspiracy theories.

No, but it was weird. It's also weird that like, Fox bought ad space on NBC. That's a kind of a genius move. Buy ad space on your competitor, basically.

Because is NBC owned by VICOM? Sure. I, dude. I don't know, dude. To me, those companies, like, who owns NBC? NBC?

NBC, but they probably don't. Everything's owned by Disney. That's what I'm really finding out. Do Disney owns like some crazy? There was something else that they, if they, there was something else they bought and I was like, yeah, I think they bought, did Disney buy HBO? There's some crazy thing like that, I heard. They bought I think people. I think they own

people. Yeah, that's for sure. Yeah. No, I, I mean, I would, I feel like somebody like, tweeted like one of those charts that was just like, you think it's like 17 different companies, well, fuck you, it's one company. And I think Disney was like one of like the seven

companies that does that. So it's them and Pfizer and like some other, yeah, it's wild. Yeah, it is a lot of stuff there. It's also funny with the conspiracy theories because it just became a conservative thing. Like there's no left, like there's no left people that will like openly be like, I'm into conspiracy.

Because I feel like left people are a little more cocky. They're like, no, no, no, this is just the facts. Here are the bang. It's like, oh, I'm sorry. Are you an invest? Like, what do you know? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Because it really, it really became a right thing, like, in the last five years.

For sure. Even, like, UFOs is almost a conservative thing. Yeah. Well, it's because that's who sees them. It's fucking weirdo. Nobody, you don't see them in, you don't see stars in the city. You know what it is, too? I agree with that.

You see them out when you're in the countryside. That's a great point. Also, you get a lot of people in the Navy didn't see them. Oh, yeah. And then people that trust people in the Navy who see it. Right. Because they're like, my uncles in the Navy. He wouldn't fucking lie to me.

Absolutely. No, he wouldn't. And it turns out that the aliens that that kid saw was just his uncle touching him. Yeah, yeah, that is what it was. That is what they are saying, yeah. Yeah. Yeah, I was joking on a couple episodes ago. I'll do the same jokes.

Fuck you. I'll fucking do it. Yeah, dude. There was this one guy. I think there was like a couple people who were like had abduction stories. And then they got caught with like lots of child pornography. And I'm like, how funny would that be if they were like legit and the aliens just like put child porn all over their houses? That's the funniest idea of the...

That's how in tune they are with this culture. Yeah, they're like, this will fucking wreck him. Dude, his credibility is shot. There's zero chance he comes back from this. None, dude. But it's funny that you say the conspiracy thing because I feel like one of the big conspiracies that is still around now

is like what actually happened on like 9-11. And I think that's... But you have no liberal people that... But it started out as liberal people. Yeah, because it was just like, what's going on with Bush, what's going on in here? What about this? What about that? And then like after...

I feel like with that one, it depended... Whatever administration was in office was who was going to get in, like, fucked for that. If it was Al Gore, then it would have been the conservatives who would have jumped on that really quick. But now it's different. Yeah, it is. Now there's like, the more conservative people are like 9-11 was inside you. But it's also weird because I don't know what is... It's such a complicated thing.

But the other side of it's funny, too, because the Illuminati stuff, they're like, our founding fathers were part of a satanic cult. Right. But then they're also like, our founding fathers were the dudes. Do we like them or not? What's the thing? Were they satanic guys? Yeah. Some of that stuff.

Because somebody like Alex Jones, like loves the founding fathers. Right. But I guarantee you he's also like, yeah, I mean, they're Satanist. Right. I mean, it was not these days. Yeah, yeah. I guess. Also, I don't think Satanism is that terrible.

I think it's, I don't, I find it, I find it spooky. It's spooky. Okay, this is what I think about it. I think the whole idea that none of them are bad people is totally wrong. Sure. Like, to be fair, if you would get a religion to attract the worst people, it would probably be Satanism. Of course. The most annoying for one, because people are like, I'm going to be different.

I'm a Satanist. Yeah. And then you also get the ones that are like, oh, like the ones I came in contact with when I was doing research because I was trying to get one on the podcast. The one I got shoes super cool. But like there was some dude that was like talking about he wants to sacrifice much animals. And like there are like really like school shudery people. For sure. Like Satanism.

Yeah. I think, I mean, coming from like a relationship. background. I find that stuff real weird. Like the, I don't love horror movies in general, but like the ones that are just like, no, Harry Potter. And shit like that. Well, when that first came out, I wasn't allowed to read those. But then we, we loosened that and it doesn't matter. It's fine now. Um, but. I, you know, I like that. They're like, let's do a little research on Harry Potter. Yeah. Yeah. There's a bunch of kids and their cast. Okay. Let's, let's read into it. All right. Then we're good. Dad's like my book 10. He's like, all right. It's cool. It's pretty safe. We're good. He's taking us to buy the books at midnight. Because I have family that was like religious and they didn't read Harry Potter too. But you know what?

And I always shit on it. But I'm like, you know what? It makes sense. Sure. At first glance you're like, there's witches and shit. What is this? It's a weird thing to have your kid reading. Yeah.

But then you look into it and it's okay. It's the complete wall and then never look into it. Don't ask questions about it. You can't do it. That's when it's just like, all right, man. Let's chill out. Yeah. Then you're going to get a kid that jerks off to Harry Potter panfiction.

Yeah. I mean, you haven't? No, I haven't. see myself doing. I think I have. Yeah. Yeah. Big time. Which, uh, which character was it? Oh, it was all, all Ron. Does he, who's that one professor that turns into a cat?

McGonigal. Could she control it? I think so, yeah. She was just banging her. She turned to do her, I swear to God, it was a woman when I started fucking her. I swear to God. What happened? Yeah, yeah. You knew. Yeah. You, you kinky minks. Yeah. No, uh, I think with conspiracies in general, I think

one, I think they're very fun but two, like, the founding fathers were standing a cult. Who gives a fuck? You know what I mean? Like, I couldn't care if they were, if they were cats. It doesn't matter anymore. Like, they're dead. It doesn't mean anything. If anything, that's like,

they're barely real people anyways. They're like, they're a myth now. They're inanimate to me. You know what I also realized recently it's bad? Babies are inanimate to me. Mm. Like, would someone... No wonder you're into Satanism. you're fine. These aren't alive.

Like, I'm aware they're alive, but then if somebody's like, yeah, somebody dropped their baby. I'm like, in my head, I doesn't connect to me the same way if somebody's like, their kid got punched in the face. I'm like, their kid, that's horrible. Is he okay? But then somebody's like, yeah, somebody threw their baby out of a way. It seems like such an object, like a, like a football or something. Like, if I saw a baby in person, I wouldn't treat it in anonymously.

Like, I would treat it with respect. I'll let you keep going on this. I'll treat it with respect. Dude, when I hear up. I would salute it. Dude, that Michael Jackson thing didn't phase me. Whatever. It's not even a thing.

It seems so, I don't know what it is. It's like, because it doesn't have a lot. Now, I'm sure, like, obviously it does have, like, I'm aware. Like, when you see a baby, my heart melts. I'm like, ooh, do, do, do, do, right. But when somebody talks about a baby, I'm just like, okay, whatever. Yeah, I don't care about your baby. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Yeah, I think I'm, I'm apathetic. Yeah. For sure. You're about a baby, and you just go, oh, it's your baby. Yeah. Wait, what? That'd be so what they're talking about. They're like, abortion is killing babies.

You're like, ooh, baby, the baby, you're like, oh, the little baby. Oh, the little baby. Do they have your own feet? You did they have your little boop,

boop. Just do a little EKG monitor. God damn, dude. Fuck. What were talking about Ocasperies there was before? Yeah, no. I, yeah, I get into them. I get into all of them.

I go through a full cycle. I go through, what the fuck is this shit? Yeah. I look into it. I go, I am so on board. And then I go, what was, why did I believe anything? I like my, I, I have a couple buddies that are like very, I don't think they're full,

they're not like conspiracy theorists, but they are very conservative guys. And they are like, politics consumes them. Yeah, yeah. And those people are fun. They're annoying, but it is fun to just text them sometimes because you'll get so much from so little. I'm one of those guys. It's amazing.

If somebody texts me like a little thing. Yeah. I'm so easily baited. Somebody could be like blah, blah, blah, and then I'm like, oh, do you do. Yeah. And then it's a fucking, it's like my mom texted me where like, you'll get one. Have you ever gotten a text that's so long? It doesn't even show you all of it.

You have to like click on it and it expands it. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. He's that guy. Most of the time those are, L.O.L. It's spooky season, you sluts. Oh, yeah. You know one of those like ginorous ones. It's like, that's the entire itinerary for like a weekend or what?

No, no, no. it's like a chain mail where it's like, oh, you spooky whores, blah, blah, blah, Halloween, get your pumpkins out and, you know, get fun. Pumpkins mean ass. Yes. Get your ass out. Yes. And get over here, girl. Yeah, yeah. But yeah, I have several friends that are like that. And those are fun people to check in with. For sure, especially when they do cocaine. Yeah. I got a friend like that. Love them to death. But he's actually knowledgeable about like the CIA. And I remember last time we were hanging out? He's like, not last time. It was like a year ago. We were hanging out. He goes, I'm like, I'm like, Dude, I got to go to bed, man. I feel like, come on. Just fucking stay up, dude. Just stay up. I'm like, okay, fine. And he just does lying, goes,

ugh. Then they don't want you to know about the CIA. I'm like, oh, it's about to be a 10 hour. You just wanted to talk to me about the CIA. Yeah, yeah, right? Which I, I meant, like, I meant to, uh, Operation Northwoods is interesting. What's that one? Let me, uh, let me open the door real quick.

Please. Opening in the door. All right. So Operation Northwoods was like, um, I'm probably every time about this podcast. I don't get a shit. It's like during What was it? Vietnam.

Okay. No, no, not Vietnam. Korea. No, whatever the Cuban missile crisis was happening. All right. So, yeah, the Cold War between, that was like early Cuban Missile Crisis was like 60, 61, something like that. Like right when JFK got into office.

Yes. I got to close door to. No problem, man. It was, so it was basically, yeah, during the... Okay, so Operation Northwoods was... the Cuban Missile Crisis, what they did was during that, I guess the Cold War period, somebody

on Kennedy's, like, staff, like one of the well-respected, like, chief of the staff guys was like, how about we proposed this idea? Like, how about Operation Northwoods? What we do is we have somebody in our government shoot down a civilian, like, plane

or vessel, and then so we can just go to war with them. Oh, that's what we did in Korea. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. We did that with a couple things. Isn't the Dolph of Concan? But then that guy got fired by Kennedy? It was like, bad idea. That's funny.

Bad idea. He's like, I'm sorry, bro. I just thought maybe we killed some innocent civilians. Really? Really? What? You're going to fire me? Over that?

I thought you said there's no such thing as a stupid question. I'm sorry. I thought this is an open discussion. I was told that my opinion mattered. You know, you're not a very creative president. Yeah, dude. Yeah, because it wasn't Vietnam, like, something like that, or the Gulf of Tonkin. Yeah, that was, I think that was Korea.

That's how we got into Korea. It was like a real, from what I, read about... But I'm going to be wrong. I'm actually plumbing myself out that. I think golf tagging may have been being a... Okay. By the way, anybody that listens to this has any idea with it...

I love history, so I'm pissed that I don't know that. Do you have your phone? Can you look up golfing talking? Yeah. From my understanding what happened was, like, one of our boats got like shot at. Oh, 100%. We shot it. Or we did it. It was that, or I'm pretty sure what happened is we just like pulled right up to the Vietnam troops, like with our boats with guns on them. And they're like, hey, they shot at us. But I'm like, if you approach somebody with guns...

Let's see. Oh, it was for Vietnam. The Gulf of Tonkin incident was an international confrontation that led to the United States engaging more directly in the Vietnam War. It involved both the proven confrontation on August 2nd, carried out by North Vietnamese forces in response to covert operations in the coastal region of the Gulf, and a second claimed confrontation on August 4th, 1964, between ships of the North of North Vietnam and the United States. So it was a little bit of real, but then we embellished it and we went to war. But from my understanding, we were like approaching them. I could be wrong with like guns. And they're like, they shot at us?

Yeah. Like, it's so not cool of them. Yeah, that sounds. I wouldn't, yeah, I wouldn't put that past us to do that shit. They're doing draft now. Are you leaving the country? What are you doing? No, I think I'm a hangout.

You're going to, what is it, what are we doing right now, Ukraine? Oh, I don't do. Wait, this is all news to me. What's happening? Like, let's say we get involved in that. Oh, yeah. I don't know, man. I don't think.

I, it's, the funny part is like, it used to be so easy if I'm to get us on board with stuff. Like, hey, you know. You know what I mean? They were like, but now I'm like, I know how this goes. Nobody has any trust in any centralized institution. Yeah. None at all.

Literally none. Nobody trusts the church. Nobody trusts the news. Nobody trusts the government. Nobody trusts anything. I don't even trust places that say they're fucking milkshake machines down. I get really pissed on that. Bullshit it is.

I'll go back there and make it right now. I've worked at one of these. Cook me up. Yeah, it's a dick move. Yeah. Yeah. Worst I went to an ice cream shop and their milkshakes were down. I was like, I know you guys, the milkshick machine takes longer or whatever.

Yeah. It's so fucking annoying. Did you see ice, uh, the, so the company that, um, they like issued an apology or something? No, so the company that, for, that makes, that makes the ice cream machines for McDonald's. Was just like everybody could suck my dick. They, so they, I guess, have like a way to monitor in the machine itself if it is actually functioning. So they spent years gathering like millions of data points proving definitively that all of them are, like,

that the machines were like working. and is now like suing McDonald's. For like defamation of whatever. Yeah, yeah. I'll be like, no, I'm not going to get one of the McFlurry machines for my company. Exactly. It's just like, oh, they're constantly broken. This must be a shitty thing.

And it's just like, no, McDonald's is shitty and doesn't want to put forth 10 seconds of effort to give you a McFlurry. Yeah, yeah. And I'm also one of those guys there that I'm such a piece of shit that part of me, I'm like, he's fucking employees. And then I'm like, wait, I'm a bad employee. I'm like, I'm like, wait, I am. I am like a smidge effort above a McDonald's employer.

I was like, haven't you been fired like seven times? Yeah, yeah, yeah, I can never. Listen, listen, if you are eking by at your job by doing the bare minimum, we support you. Yeah, yeah. Absolutely. Yeah, but when I walk in to get my McFlur, you show me some bad thing. Get it right. Get it right.

Yeah, it's a fucking respect. Yeah. Hand it to me. Yeah, that's the, I think that's the old Bill, Bill Hicks had a bit where he, uh, he said he walked into a McDonald's, like, uh, with a gun. and somebody like gave him. He's like, I'll have the number two. And they like gave it to him.

And he's like, no, I want what's in that fucking picture. Make it look like that. Not this. I want that. And it's funny. He's dead now. He never quite got me. Yeah, he's definitely, he was a little preachy.

Yeah. I liked, I like the idea of someone like that. Yeah. But I don't know if I would be, if he was alive now. I think a Bill Hicks podcast would be great. Yeah, for sure. Yeah, yeah. Same with like a Carlin.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I was, I mean, if you, I mean, because there's the, like, if you had to pick between Pryor or Carlin, who would you say? Because I feel like those are the two, like, grand. That's really tough because you're so different. Yeah. I feel like Carlin's, like, a lot more, like, societal observations. And then Pryor's more like just a comedic genius.

Prior's like, I'm going to kill. Yeah, yeah. Whereas I feel. But it's like he's also very good at, like, carlinda zero self-reflection stuff, which kind of, I think, is to a fault. Yeah. In my opinion, like, I think you kind of need to have everything.

I mean, to be fair, I don't basically only do observational. But, um, trying to be better about that. But like, I feel like, prior was way better at being, like. Oh, I mean, he like almost invented that type of thing. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Like, well, he absolutely, like, invented the black people do this, white people do this. Yeah, yeah. Which is now, like, very tropey.

Right. Before that, people were just, like, black people are the worst, aren't they? Absolutely. And everybody was just, like, Would you like to run the Tonight Show? Yeah, yeah. Please have a great career. Yeah.

But yeah, I think... Besides, Lenny Bruce, he was progressive. Even though, you know, his main bits calling everybody the N-word. But, you know, that was... Yeah. That was creative back then. That's also, like,

like, Carlin, too, has a bit where he calls Eddie Murphy and Richard Pryor the N-Were. Dude, fucking Chevy Chase calls Richard Pryor the N-Ward to his face on S&L. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's so... That's so... That's so...

I mean, I was about to say that's so cool. God damn it. Let me say it. That's so cool. Why can I? No, but, like, I think that's, that's, I mean, obviously, completely different time. But I do think it is in some ways just like, damn, that's what that show used to be. And now it's what it is now.

But again, like, the mediums changed and all of that. But I think it's sad. What you're saying is they need to call black people the N-word. That's what's holding them back. That's what it is. That's what it is. Yeah. Damn.

But no, I think I would pick prior. Prior. Yeah. I would say so, too. Yeah. Yeah. Very, yeah. Because I watch it, and I'm like, oh, this is really funny.

Oh, it's, yeah, it's like hilarious. And it holds up in time. Absolutely. George Con be like, you know what my problem is with the new president? And I'm like, I don't give a fuck who the president. I was like, I don't even know who this guy is right now. You're talking about some guy. Yeah, it's not, it's timestamped.

Some of it's timeless. Yeah. Like, oh, this is just like people today. They're all right there are, nothing's changed. Right. But other times you're like, I don't know what the fuck. Yeah, you're like, yeah. One thing I want to talk about.

I went to see Simple Plan and Sun 41. Dude, I was legitimately upset. I couldn't go to that with you. Oh, amazing. Was it? So, I fell back because I brought my friend who's a doctor. We don't say his name. Okay.

Do you know what I'm talking about? Oh, is it? Yeah, yeah, yeah. He's been on a podcast. We call him Denzel on the podcast. Yeah, I'm assuming. Yeah, okay. Yeah.

So he shows up, but he's so excited because my girlfriend could go. And he's like, and he's like, dude, I can't wait me. I love Sun 41. I love Simple Plan. And it's on Pure 17. It's a fucking beautiful view. Yeah. If you go see a concert, you go to Pier 17.

Okay. It's like the only really pretty part of Manhattan, in my opinion. Sure. You can see the bridges, the suns setting, a bunch of people with nose rings. And by the way, my favorite thing I didn't think was the thing was Jersey Italians that are really into simple plan on some 41. Did not think that, dude, there was a gold chain slicked back hair. He had a wife beater on. I think he had a Hawaiian over the white beater, which is like a little more modern.

but for the most part you go, it was, dude, I fucking love simple plants. I'm like, I just heard him talking that way

to like to his friend. I'm like, dude, that's so funny like, yeah, man, everybody gets fucking dumped

by a bitch. You know what I mean? Like, it's weird that like, he's just eating prosciutto. He's like, my fucking dad's the worst. Yeah,

yeah, yeah. It's like, wait, what? Yeah. Very odd. Yeah.

But there's a bunch of them there. And then, um, we get to the concert and some 41's first. I think it's one of those tours where they switch off every time. Was it just, it was just those two, no opening act?

There was some group that like, you know what? I didn't hate them. Sure. They were like kind of that 303 sound that, uh, sort of like we do techno but also screamo kind of thing. I didn't totally mind it. Sure. Um, I don't know.

Yeah, they were okay. They, uh, I don't know, they tried to get us to clap along in a way that I was like, fuck you guys. Yeah. I don't know what it was. I kind of, I don't know if I love that from an opening act. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You know what I mean?

You don't, you don't, you know, I'm not going to do what you tell me. I'm not here for you. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Now, if you do a great, now, I, I have, like, a very low expectation for, like an opening act, especially if I don't know who they are. But if you come out and fucking, like, rip it up and have a great time, if it happens organically, then it's just like, oh, that you killed so hard that these people don't, who don't know who you are now engaged.

Yeah, you just gain. But if you come out and are, like, trying hard. I'm like, all right, man. Yeah. Just come out and do your shit. And if we like it, we like you. If not, you, how, you. out with Simple plan all day.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. You probably had a good day either way. And then I was kind of like, by the way, I've seen a lot of opening outs that like, blow me away. I'm like, who are those guys? Yeah, that was fucking really cool.

Yeah. But, yeah, and then Sub 41 comes out and my buddy's like, it was doctor, he's like, I'm so excited to be here. And then gets in a moshpin immediately loses his glasses. They get smashed

and he has to go home. It's like, it's like, why did he wear his glasses? Dude, in a moshpin, I'm like, that would have been a contact time for me. That was a, and your glasses,

So you're speaking from a point of, what is it, not privilege, but, uh, fucking sympathy, empathy, one of the words. Yeah, you. Like, I, yeah, dude, don't wear your glasses. If you wear your glasses, you sit in the seats. Right, yeah, yeah, yeah. Stay back. Yeah, wait, and they got, I felt so bad because you could just see him, like, he looked like he had no, like, he, like, he, see, like, fully.

I think he, he's like, is he pretty blind, too? Totally blind. Yeah, yeah, could see. Yeah, yeah, was like just blind, just getting pushed in the mosh. And now imagine. just like him fumbling home? Like he's got to navigate the subway system. Nobody's helping him. Apparently he went to a bunch of cops.

They're like, yeah, we'll help you. And just like, then he's like, are you guys still here? They just take three steps back and they don't exist anymore. Like you can't see that much. Dude, imagine just like total blur and then just, oh, you're in too deep. And that's, you have no, it's just so loud. You're like, what's going on? Yeah.

What do they, what? They did all their heads. What they open with? They opened with, um, I want to say, still waiting. And then they closed with in too deep. Oh, they clothed with what? Fat lip, yeah.

Oh, fat, yeah, I'm stupid. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, but I've seen, that's my second time I've seen them. Awesome performance. They look kind of like shit. Of course. Yeah, but nobody probably went harder than like pop punk guys in like the early 2000s.

Drug problem. Of course. Of course. Yeah. But they got off station. I don't like Simple Plan. I like some 41. Yeah. But we were, like, talking in the bathroom because there was a break between the two acts and we're like, wow, how simple plan? I'm going to follow that. Fucking bunch of pussies.

What are they going to do? And simple plan gets on. And boy, was I wrong about simple plan, I fell in love. I was like, these guys, the dude comes out, still got like a foahawk, but it's like slightly shorter now. So it shows he's matured a little bit. It looks healthy. Wow. We're wearing, like, new balances.

And I was like, the punk thing doesn't last forever. So this guy, they adapted to, like, they're like, I think one of the, you know, one of the, you're like, I think one of of the guys was wearing like an underarmor shirts. You're like, okay. Yeah. You guys, uh, you, what, some 41 was doing, it doesn't work anymore. Right. Like they, like, the lead singer had like a cutoff.

He just looked sick and, yeah, yeah. They've got the guitars, like, down by their knees. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And you're like, oh, yeah, this is, uh, yeah, you can't stay like that forever. But it is a fun juxtaposition for Simple Plan to just be like, coming out, like, in a fucking cardigan and new balance and be like, I just got off the phone with my therapist. Yeah, yeah. I'm just a kid.

And you're like, wait, what? You're 40. Yeah, yeah. Well, that's what he said. He said, every night is the worst night. Everyone, but not tonight. And they totally switched it around. And they were like, they're like, we're actually doing great now.

And I was like, that's awesome. Dude, I loved it. And I never liked them. And I was like, holy fuck. Yeah. Great performance. Had, like, fog machines going out. And they're just like, and now, woo, woo, woo.

And the dude's voice sounded just like it's always sounded. Oh, yeah. That's great. His voice was spot on. And they did, with your Scooby-Doo. We're coming at you. Did that whole theme song And you're like, oh, fuck yeah.

Then they did, they just started doing other pop. They knew they had like four good songs. They did Smash Mouth All Star, not by them. Wow. They did Mr. Brightside by the killers. They did skater girl, skater boy by Avrilavine. Which is really weird because the lead singer, son, 41 was married to her. So I'm like, it's kind of a, he's just stewing backstage.

Yeah, yeah. They're like, but I was just like, holy shit. That is, I was blown away. And they were, I was like, this is fucking. awesome. Damn. How long? So like all told how long was it? It was like four hours. Then went to a midnight. It was like a perfect night and then I went to go to do like a midnight show and it was good. Wow. And you're

just jazzed. You're just hyped up. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And then I got a Sun 41 shirt, which I don't like wearing band shirts because I feel like it's like two ways. Either you, I was talking to a black guy about this. Black guys can wear punk band shirts and look cool. I mean, they wear anything to look cool. But white guys were punk

like it's kind of tough because people are like oh, do you think you're punk? Or with punk they could also go, some 41, those guys are pussy. Like, there's a number of things. And nobody's thinking that, but in my head, everyone's thinking that. Yeah, and I feel like I...

And I also ripped my shirt off, so I had to get a new shirt. Oh, wow. I like this thing I've done at a couple concerts where I bite my shirt and then just rip it in half. It's very fun and exhilarating, but then you don't have a shirt, and you've got to go to the merch table. Yeah, and then you're like, hi, I would like to spend $40. Yeah, which I did, yeah.

Yeah. But then I kind of like the shirts in my car. You got some 41 shirt? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Nice. But, yeah, that was great to the midnight show. And then the next day, I just went to Portland, Maine. Dude, I love Maine. I'm going to Sam and I, my girlfriend and I are going to Maine in a couple weeks.

We're going on, like, at the end of September. I hated it. Really? Yeah. So, I love Maine. I didn't do any of the pretty stuff, to be fair. So we got there. And just a road trip was so much fucking fun.

We're just, like, goofing around in the car. You're doing shows, or what was it? Yeah, it was a comedy festival. And then we're stayed at, like, a super eight. So we're kind of like, it's the middle nowhere. So, to be fair, I only saw, like, the ugly. I'm like, I do this off to where. I went to a Super 8 and a fucking Denny's.

That town sucks. Yeah, yeah. I do this all the time. By the way, I'll go places, and then you just be like, this place fucking blows, and I'll do the worst thing at that place. Apparently, somebody went to a lighthouse, and they were like, it was beautiful.

Oh, I've been to the lighthouse. You've been to Portland, Maine? Yeah. Okay, so what's the pretty part of Portland, Maine that I should have gone to? Well, where did you... It sounds like you went to a motel and a comedy show. And then just judged... Two of the worst things you can do.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, so it was like... We went to a weed store, and it was like, one of those... like it was, there's still a medical store that's kind of, I don't fully understand that. A medical store? So like weed's legal a lot of places and they'll have but they'll have both.

Like a medical store and a recreational store I'm like, what's the point of all this? Yeah, what do I mean? Yeah. Are you, does the medical place have the good shit? Or like, I think it's something like, but it doesn't really make sense to me. I don't know. That's odd. But yeah, no, we went to when we went to Maine, or we went to Portland,

we just went to, um, well, we went to Acadia, first of all, We went to the National Park, which is like past Portland. And then we stayed in Portland for a couple days. We just went to get some like good food. The food was amazing. Food was great. There was a pizza place that put mashed potatoes on their pizza. It sounds like a good combo.

It was actually really good. It was one of those where we were like, we got to try that. Because it was like the thing that were like, this is our specialty. And I've been honestly trying to do that of like going to a place. Oh, I'll be a total piece of shit. And in a good way that I'll be like, what's your best beer? What's the best thing? What can you guys?

What can you give me that nobody else can? It's like you're at a fucking dating show for food. But then I'm still at the Denny's. Yeah, and then you make them list all the things and you're like... You guys don't have lobster room? I don't have a PBR man. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Thank you very much.

Yeah, I mean, I did eat like garbage the whole time. Like, I did in between stuff. Like, I ate a lot of gas station food. I'm very poor right now. Hell yeah. My paycheck hits tomorrow. Nice. So I'll be good.

But, yeah, I was roughing it until I had that lobster. But the first show we get to is like a complete dive bar. And this is how crazy. the crazy shit is, there's a upper balcony and the audience is on the lower balcony. You're on the upper balcony? So you're performing down at people.

Oh, no. There's another group of people above you. There's an upper... So it's the middle floor. And then all those people left, so I'm just yelling at these people. Do they know what show's happening? Once you start yelling at the video. Holy shit, dude, this...

So you're just yelling at a bar of people. You're giving like a fucking, like, fascist speech where you're like out on a post. podium and they're like, what? Yeah, I mean, to be fair, props to Adolf because you got people to listen to him that fault. Like, you gotta have some fucking... Maybe it's because he's like,

I will kill all of you, but I don't know, what are you saying? I never translated it. I don't love being, I've been, I've done shows where, like, the stage is, like, a lot higher than the people, and I don't like that. You can't imagine being, like, another,

basically on another floor of the building. Because some guys, like, I want to fight, and I'm like, no, I don't want to fight you, but also, you're not going to get your way up here. You can't get up here, yeah, yeah. But it was fun. There was a woman didn't have an arm

and I'm not gonna give way anyway a bit but I do have a bit about people missing arms and she was cool she laughed that was a good feeling you know what I mean

when you see somebody like oh shit they liked the thing because I was nervous about it and then they were like I wasn't like you got a no arm but I was like

hey guys look at this piece of shit I got a bit about this actually but I had a bit about like prosthetic arms and she liked this I was like that's good yeah

but it was weird because it was I felt like I was in the south but I was not it was weird because I thought Portland was made but then I got a way different vibe

and we went somewhere else So the first thing is we went to the weed store Which is funny there Because they were so much different than I thought because I go in And my friend had expired ID Which also that's a dumb fucking thing They care about that

Because it's like I didn't not turn 21 Because it's expired Right It's like I get why you shouldn't be able To drive without expired But it's like not like oh no It's expired

So technically now You're not Time didn't happen Yeah yeah For you It's fucking stupid It's not July Wait wait what?

The guy at the store goes Okay well then just let him go in And he'll pick out Whatever you want for him And I was like, oh, like the guy is, the security guard's propping open the door. He's like, oh, he said he wanted blueberry cush. And then I'm like, I'm yelling the order. Like, okay, yeah, yeah, I get a gram or a half gram.

That's great. So we did dad. How were the weed prices in Maine? I mean, better than New York. New York has the worst. I mean, it was like $50 for like a, it was just the same price as New York. Okay. So it was like $50 for like, which anybody in Florida is going to be driven nuts.

I don't know if inflation's had, but high school used to be, it was to the decimal. So like $10 grams, it was just across the board. Yeah. And if you're buying an ounce, you get cheaper. but it was like $10 grams. Was it like that? Or did you start? I didn't smoke weed in high school.

Did you in college? Not till the very, but I was never buying. It would just be, my friends would have it and I would. I'm, yeah. I've always been drug adjacent. I've never been, I've never, I mean, I've purchased weed now, but like never back then. New York is just way more expensive than it was in Florida about. So is everything.

So is everything. Like, I don't know if I go back to Florida, it's still that price. Yeah. But what was I saying? Yeah, I go in and, yeah, it was a good weed. Fuck, okay, yeah. And then something you... Slept on an air mattress, took some sleeping pills to fall asleep, you know.

Just living the real shitty lifestyle, but having fun with it. I'm like, this is a good time. Of course. The next day, we go to a show that has no seats. Ooh. It's in a weed museum with zero seats. A lot of weed stuff here. Yeah, yeah. I don't think...

We went three years ago. There's none of this shit. They just legalized weed recently? I don't know, but it seems like it's taken over. Or it's just the comedy thing. Or I just didn't... Yeah. Or I just didn't see this debauchery. Yeah. But you're performing people that are just standing, which is a horrible environment. Apparently some giant brawl broke out at one of the shows.

There's a group called Friends Stand United, which I guess is an anti-fascist gang. Oh, my God. Kill yourself. Yeah, yeah. That's so lame. Yeah, yeah. But they're also no two drugs. Oh, so they're just straight-edge kids. You say your straight-edge kid.

That's fine. Yeah, yeah. But that's what I read online about them. I remember seeing them in gangland or something like that. But it's weird. It's like we're gangs that don't. They made it to gang land? Yeah, yeah, no, they're like a big thing.

What? I'm going to be careful talking about them. Yeah, they're coming. Yeah, it's so funny because I'll talk shit about most people that'm like, I'll be careful about the Crips in the podcast. Yeah, maybe not. Dude, that's wild. But FSU, please do not kill me.

Yeah. What's their name again? I'll do friends stand united. Okay, interesting. Yeah. Florida State University, too. Yes. Oh.

Yeah. But I guess they got in a mail. Like, there's a comedy competition. And I guess one of their friends didn't, or he won, but one of the people, the guy won, but then apparently one of the fucking judges downvoted him. And so they just like fought the guy. It's like, you still won the competition. Let's go easy now. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

But they're friends. And they stand united. So that's what they do. Yeah. So that happened. apparently a bunch of shows got canceled because of like a power outage. So that first show,

both shows weird. And then third show I did was a weed show in somebody's backyard. So it was just in a backyard there was a bunch of weed moms there. You know, like that vibe, they're like, we're moms, but we're cooom. Yeah, you guys want to have a little bit?

And maybe fuck me. You know what I mean? Like kind of, was at any event? Yeah, that was like the vibe. I couldn't fully figure. It was weird. Yeah. And then I got a fucking amazing lobster role

I enjoyed. Dude, I love a lobster. Yeah. Fresh seafood is prime. Oh, yeah. And we went to a bar, and the funniest thing you have, we went to a bar,

and this guy has a shirt that says, I'm sober, and he literally goes, do you guys, don't wear I get some crack? And we're like, what?

Your shirt says, I'm sober. He goes, yeah, I'm not. And then I'm like, I don't know what your, your thing was wearing the shirt. And he goes, he goes, okay,

he, he, Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. She's like, well, thank God I asked. Yeah, and then I left the bar later, and I was wearing pants, but, like, some, there was like a teenager there. He's like, yeah, they won't let me in. Can you, can you give me your pants? And I'm like, yeah, yeah, no pants on? He had, like, they're probably not letting you in because you're underage. And no, I'm not just going to give you my fucking pants. Yeah. What an insane request. Yeah.

Dude, I'm not at a Some 41 concert. I can't just go buy more pants right now. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It also is going to look weird when I'm taking off my pants to give to a child. Yeah. Like, wait, what's the, no, there's an arrangement. He can't get in. Yeah. No. But, uh, yeah. So was every show a weed show? I mean, every show is, it was all of the place. Listen, thank you for booking me, but that was a disaster. I had so much fun outside of the shows, but that was it their first one? No. No, no, I think it was. It was, it was, it was. That's fun.

A few times, yeah, but it was also a weird, I'll go next year. It felt, it felt, it felt like, apparently there was a show to zoo, which I wish I would have got booked on that. That sounds fun. Zoo, let's go. Yeah. Um, here's performing to The Animal. This is an audience, right? This fucking works. Just yelling at Seagles. But they, yeah, that was a disaster.

And it felt weirdly like Portland, Oregon. Have you been to Portland, Oregon? Yeah. It kind of felt like the same vibe. Yeah, that's the vibe that I got when I went there. It felt very NYU-y, very like. But then the outskirts were just redneck. It was a weird thing.

Yeah, the down. But I guess that's the thing. Apparently in like Oregon, like outside of Portland, there's like a, well, sure, it's fucking, there's like neo-Nazi. Yeah, yeah, yeah. People with blue hair can't survive out there.

They only exist in city environments. It's amazing the South doesn't really exist. It's just ruralness, and there's just more ruralness in general. Yeah, yeah, because it's like the same people that live in the South live in upstate New York. Live fucking 30 minutes away. From New York City, yes, exactly. By the way, same accent almost. You will hear a southern accent or like just people are like a rural accent everywhere.

That's the same way at that bar. but guys like, hey, how's it going, man? How you doing? Yeah. I'm like, this is Portland, Maine. What the fuck is going on here? And they like... I was like, that might be the highest north you will ever hear the N-word.

Yeah, like that. Per capita. Yeah, I didn't hear it, but I mean, I'm sure it was happening. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Damn. That is funny. Because, I mean, it's, yeah, it's just how far are from a city are you? Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Which somebody made... Ohio probably has it, but Ohio. Absolutely. Yeah, yeah. Absolutely. I mean, Cleveland, Columbus, Cincinnati. Outside of that, it's all. all red.

Yeah, yeah. I mean, those are the three blue dots within the, within everything. But other than that, it's all red. I mean, especially Cincinnati, that's right by Kentucky. Right. I mean, that's, that's big. Yeah, that's that weird area where it's like the Midwest is almost the south, sort of. Like, like, I didn't know that Missouri.

I always thought of that was Midwest, but that's the South. Is it? St. Louis? Yeah, that's like the South. Okay. Technically, I think. I don't know. I don't know where the Mason Dixon line was, really.

It's funny because, like, Pennsylvania, which I fucking hate Pennsylvania. Pennsylvania is the Kansas of the East Coast. It's just long and nothing. It's like A Philly's one of those cities I went to where he was shut down during COVID. I'm like, this place fucking sucks. Yeah.

What, fucking Liberty Bell? Eat my ass, you know? Like, it doesn't matter. I also, like, I've rarely been to a historical site and been like, oh, this is sick. Like, sometimes it could be cool. Like, you're a history guy. Oh, yeah. What's your favorite historical site? See, I haven't been to, I haven't been out of the, I have, I haven't been

awfully continent. So I haven't been over to, like, I want to go to like Europe and Egypt and all that shit. Yeah, I was such a piece of shit when my parents took me to Europe. I talked about it before like we went to the Coliseum in Rome and I had to go diarrhea so I just didn't go. Like we showed up and I'm like I had to go take a dump somewhere. So we spent like an hour and everywhere is like you cannot

use our bathroom because this is it. Like they've always like it's just cities it's the same thing in New York. It's like trying to shit here. It's like very challenging. Yep. Get a gym membership. Yeah, yeah. While I'm there for like the day. I'll sign up for crunch. Yeah. Crunch Rome.

I feel so bad for my parents because every museum I was like this fucking I ate McDonald's there I didn't appreciate our I broke shit everywhere we went Like I think in every country went I broke some shit Like I uh

There was some pants that I I like chocolate on my hands I just like got them all over some pants Sure Um What was the other part though I fucking um What was I saying at first?

Oh yeah We were on a Normandy beaches And my dad's like So what happened here And I'm like yeah I don't care I just did not care I fucking love it of World War II, so that's right up

my alley. Yeah, yeah. But he's hard during the tour. Oh, my God. Can you say... Can you say Romel again? He's my desert fox. In the United States, it's tough. Because there's not... Like, the oldest place you can go to

from, like, Western civilization is, like, James Town and Roanoke, which is only like the 1600s. You know what? I learned about... Learning about Blackbeard was cool. Yeah. Do you see the Netflix documentary on Pirates?

No, it's fucking sick. It's great. It's like a six-part documentary on Pirates. And it's all about the Caribbean Pirates. It follows a bunch of those guys. It's called like... It's about the golden age of piracy. That's fucking dope. It's great.

They're talking about Steed? I think so... Oh, I don't know. Steve's like the guy who's like a... There's a whole movie about him. See the black guy? TV show. No, no, no. Oh, okay.

It was on, uh, it was very... Tahiti Watty or whatever his name is? Oh, I don't know. Taika Watiti? Yes. That's a, that's a, that's a New Zealand director.

Yes. No, no, but he made it. Oh, okay. I wasn't saying that's the name of the pyre. I'm like, nah, dude, that's a fucking...

His name, I literally just try to make sounds until I get it. I'm like, Titiwobu, bo bo bo bo bo tazatapoo. Baby Gookoo. But yeah,

that's all about that. Fun show. But yeah, I know like nothing about pirates, but the fact Blackbeard's like a real guy's crate. Like, that's actually true.

With, finally, he like, would like put fire. he would like attach flaming sticks to his beard to like Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. That's also funny that like magic was like That was still a thing back then

They're like, okay, so what we're gonna do here Is if we have fog come out, it'll be spooky And then maybe we'll have like pigeons come out of a thing Like, they're still performative back then Which you'd never do now. Like, the U.S. Army should, to be fair, just be blasting like Metallica. Like on a loud speaker

We're just murdering people in foreign countries. Like something more in, I don't know. Yeah, we've dressed it up a little bit more. Yeah, but it's also tough because now we have like all these. like moral things that like we can't look like pieces of shit. Oh dude, it'd be so much easier. I would, but I think we were scary enough.

Yeah. Oh, yeah. The U.S. military. We spend enough. Yeah, yeah. People are like, okay. Yeah. We're coming. But back then people were like, who the fuck are these guys? Oh, shit, that boat's on fire?

What's going on? Yeah, that's how they would do stuff. There's a skull and crossbones. Oh, that's spooky. You know, they had to do stuff like that. You know who did that the best were like the Germanic tribes that the Romans just fucking murked. What do they do?

So they were just, well, they were just, well, they were just crazy. You know, like they, I mean, they were incredibly not well led and didn't have modern for the time weapons or armor.

So they just got slaughtered. That's always funny, like not knowing what's around you. You're like, we're the most advanced civilization around here. And you're just like, what the fuck are those things? The next thing is another shooting

with bone air. And then it's just the, and it's literally the Roman army. Yeah, which is dominated for hundreds of years and they just murked them. But yeah, they were,

I mean, they were just like Viking shit. just fucking chance and painting themselves running around naked and everything they ever lied like can you tell everybody we raped all your women and killed like 90 people yeah like we'll only kill like 20 that was just that was just steves like I know but tell him we all did it's just one guy it's like god damn tell us that they're monsters we drank say that we cut your grandma's head off and then like drank her brains just like let everybody know because you always hear these stories about like vikings doing like savage shit like that mm-hmm oh man you asked a question

I've been trying to answer it. I can't remember what it was. Was the coolest historical site? Oh, it's the coolest historical site. Um, oh. To Auschwitz, you're like, holy fuck, this is sick.

This is awesome. Do run it back. I think, in terms of, like, coolest, because I can't think of any specific place right now. I mean,

just like, the stuff that the Met has is... Really, I've never been impressed. Really cool. Like, I could walk through, like, especially like the, because I've been really getting into... I think I'm just a depressed person.

Because I haven't been impressed by anything in like five years. Like just nothing. I'm like, yeah, this is, I don't know. I get excited for stuff to you. Like, going to the Met, I'm like, oh, sick, we'll take some medibles. And then I go. And then I'm like... Oh, fucking what?

The inside school. Sorry, that was dumb me. Yeah, what? You go to the Met and fucking stand outside. Yeah, no wonder you don't like it. It's not what I meant. This building sucks, dude. I meant the, I don't know why...

It's not even the tallest one. I meant the ancient, like, when you go in. then you see like, is it Sumerian or something like that? Which... There's one, like, part where you see like hieroglyphic type stuff. I mean, that's the Egyptians. I don't think it's... Maybe it's that then.

Yeah, that was cool. Like the big room where they literally moved it. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. That old... That stuff is, I find that very fascinating. That stuff, I'll... The paintings and shit, and whatever. I go look at them and be like, that's the cool one.

Okay, cool. But then this thing where it's just like, yeah, this was found, and it's 7,000 years old. And you're like... Oh my God, that's cool. That kind of shit really fascinates me. But yeah, they have, that's really cool stuff. In terms of, like, historical sites in the United States, I mean, yeah, we've been to Colonial Williamsburg is fun.

We've been to... Medieval times. Yeah, see, all of the cool historical shit isn't in this country. So, like, I think the cooler things that I've seen, like, I've been to a bunch of national parks that are a lot cooler than, like, the history stuff. You never blown away, you're like, this is the mallet. we used to use in this town and you're like, oh, alright, fine. It was fun when it's great. But then you go, and then you go

somewhere foreign like you're saying, and they're like, yeah, they used to cut off thousands of people's heads and roll them down the tombs of this pyramid. You're like, that is cool. But also, like, when you go someplace in this country, you're just like, yeah, my grandpa was here. But like, you go over there and it's just like, yeah, this church was built in the year five.

And you're like, holy shit, dude. And they believe some crazy shit. Yeah, dude, and it was awesome. And that and if you got a couple of seconds, I'd like to talk to you about that. Yeah, that was a funny one. I was watching some ancient Egypt documentary, there was this, like, God

that they just, like, sacrificed cats to. Like, this woman's, like, tomb, they would just bring dead cats to her for, like, years and years. Yeah, like a sign of respect. Yeah, I, uh, I just finished a book about, um, that was basically a hype, the guy was hypothesizing.

Um, he's on, he's been on Rogan several times. He's named Graham Hancock. Yeah, for that guy, yeah, yeah. He's great. Um, those episodes on, he's been on like two or three times. and with another guy as well and they're really fascinating but his hypothesis is that there was

a very advanced civilization that was wiped out by like a global cataclysm and so my question is what is advanced and like more advanced than us or like... Not necessarily more advanced than us but like before it's time. Absolutely like had like had knowledge

of like astronomy that we just recently that we just recently had also they probably have inventions that we don't have. Sure. You know what I mean? It's like we have maybe more advanced advantage but they might have like random things that are fixing problems. Like oh you guys still have to deal with gravity? Well they might have like things like that. They built the fucking pyramid.

We don't know how to do that. Right. Or we can't explain how they did it. It makes no fucking sense. So what he's... We can do it. We did in Vegas. Sure but not like to the like talk... No, I agree. Describing like the how big we did it in Vegas. Yeah, yeah. We got it done.

I mean you could fuck inside that one. Like that's cool. It's got electricity and shit. Like, it's better. Yeah. Fuck your name ass fucking pyramid. Why? I don't need Giza.

Give me Nevada. Um, but basically saying that like parts of that, like, that human civilization, like organized societies are much older than previously, like, imagined. Because the typical human timeline is like, it started in like, uh, Sumer was like the first empire. I apologize if this is boring. But like, basically, it's been linear.

like the idea of history as we know it right now is that like we've just been steadily going up in terms of advancement but like it was probably like this and then we went almost to zero and then if it's slowly coming back would we have any idea if there was like a nuclear bomb we died in a nuclear holocaust. That one that's

that's interesting of like yeah I don't know because what if we died a nuclear holocaust and then the the dinosaurs were there was lizards left I was going to have the dumbs day But lizards survived

And then they came back And then they were president What about that? Well, I was applying like the Godzilla thing Basically the lizards became the dinosaurs Gotcha Gotcha I thought you were saying that like

The lizards survived and then became people Like the okay I thought you were going to conspiracy No an atomic blast happened You know how like cockroaches can survive? Yeah So then the radiation turned the cockroaches And the lizards

Yeah yeah Which I don't understand how How, why can they survive? I'm assuming just because they can burrow and get away and all of that shit, I don't know.

But like, it's not like if you put it on a table. It would still be... Oh, yeah. If it's right beneath it, it's not gonna be like, ah,

then give it the finger. They're saying radiation-wise it will survive. Oh, yeah, I don't know. Yeah, because I'm like, I could survive it if I was in the ground,

but then once I get up, I'd get the radiation poisoning. Yeah, and then you would get at least ball cancer. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Which is the worst. Yeah, that's not good.

But yeah, I think that's, That's just kind of cool. So I want to go over there and check that out and see all of that stuff. Yeah, I would like to go to Egypt, but I'm also scared to go in those countries because I feel like,

I always worry I have weed in my backpack, and then you go there and you're like, I got to really worry that I've weed. Why? Has somebody gotten in trouble for weed in a foreign country? Anybody recently? I feel like I'm just going to say something stupid, and then they're like, no, you can't insult the whatever guy. Yeah, dude, don't you know that that's the Sultan's cup bearer?

And you're like, what? Like, when that guy got brought from North Korea, I was like, I was like, man, That is such a move I would do. And he originally got in trouble for what, like taking a sign or something? Yeah, yeah. What he did was stupid, but I was also like, dude, honestly, you put fucking seven beers in me and you tell me I won't do something.

I'll fucking do it. And then they, they like beat him to death. Yeah. And then, did he die or is he still alive? And it's just like a... No, he totally died. But what he did is the worst is the last video was him saying, I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry.

Yeah. And I'm like, oh, man, if only he would have been like, fuck you bitches. Yeah. Like, if you knew you were going to die, you're like, Kim Jong, can suck my fucking cock. Yeah. Man, because they, yeah, they got it. He just started yelling like, so like that. He's like, no, it's all

a lie. He would die, but it's like, at least he would die like knowing like, yeah, he could have had some impact. As Alex Jones was saying, he'll be the martyr. Yeah, absolutely. I mean, that's what. Nobody knows we're talking about episode of Info. I was talking to him about where Alex. I forgot that we had the wait. That wasn't on Mike. Yeah, Alex Jones was like, yeah, no, so, uh, listen, it's very possible.

They arrest me or I die or I get murdered, but I'll be like, Obi-1 can't know we'll be holding off Darth Vader where what I left, it'll just, what do you say? It'll empower the rebellion. Yeah. Have you seen, um... You'll probably die of like a heart attack before any of that. Oh, yeah. Anytime I see somebody who's like, he's not crazy fat, but anytime I see somebody that's

like crazy fat, I'm just like, you know it's a ticking clock, right? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. It's just like, all for whatever, but like, dude, you got to take care of yourself a little but have you heard Nick Mullins, I've seen Nick Mullins bit on him. It's so funny. Yeah, yeah, yeah. God damn, dude, that's so funny. It's weird. There's nobody competing with it. Like, who else is like that? I mean, it used to be, who's the guy that died recently? Um, old conservative talk show, talk radio guy. Oh, Rush

Limbaugh, but he's too, but he wasn't, yeah, he wasn't as crazy as, or as, like, he was entertaining. Even the other people on info, which are like, really level-headed. Like, I'll listen to it occasionally. I'll say, what's going on here? And they'll be like, okay, Alex, that might be correct. And I'm like, it's just like,

all right, this is like a reasonable guy you had on. Yeah, this nerd, who just gets your stats for you. Yeah. Yeah. But there's also, there's no liberal version of that. No.

Of Info Wars. It's like, somebody screaming at the top of their lungs, like, I mean, maybe, maybe they just don't get the same success rate. Yeah, what would that even look like, though? I don't know.

Like, uh, I don't know. I don't know. I can't even think it would be. Well, I think that, and it's weird, because it kind of goes back to what we were talking about of just like... I like a crazy moderate. It was like, maybe we're just listening to both sides. Okay.

That's my guy. Yeah, dude, dude, if you guys don't get along, I'm going to vote third party. I'm going to vote third party. I'll fucking do it. I'll do it. Gary Johnson again. Yeah, I don't know. I don't know what the left, like a crazy, I mean, the crazy left, they don't, they just burn shit.

Yeah. They just, like, they, they, like, riot. Yeah, it's like a guy who, like, murdered, like, yeah, like a security guard

because he thought he was a cop. Yeah. Well, as I, as I, that's a funny being, like, the level of,

like, no, just, listen, all cops are bad, all cops are bad. Paul Blart, burned that movie. Killer.

Yeah. Yeah, I say that they burn shit, but I'm just like, yeah, well, the other guys did, uh,

storm the capital. Yeah, yeah. Listen, I'm cool with both those things. Yeah. Both of them were very exciting to watch. Yeah.

And, yeah, it was very, very entertaining COVID. You know, we were so crazy and we still are, but that was very interesting. You turn on the news, there's just some different shit going on that's fucking wild. I remember, I remember hearing that that was, I was still unemployed. I was just hanging out. I was sitting in my chair in my apartment. And I was watching the Dan Patrick show, which is a sports talk radio show. Yeah.

And they were just like, yeah, we're getting some news that like some crazy shits going down. it. They said it just like that. Some crazy shit, no. It's going down at the cat. I turned it on. I didn't even really know what the fuck was happening. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Then it, like, I don't know. I think that, whatever. Yeah, we've gotten into enough of this podcast. We're about to wrap it up. What would you like to promote? So I just started a, so I've done a couple podcasts and I haven't stuck with any of them. And so now I'm sticking with this one for the rest of my life. Guarantee there's going to be a new episode of it every week.

it's called Matt Oman is bothered which, because I don't think there's enough white guys giving their opinions on things. Okay, so what do you bother about? Can you give this a little taste? Right, like, right now. Jews? Yeah, dude, them.

Well, what are I talking about in the last one? Fucking, I hate when people say there's a phrase, the phrase five, it's five o'clock somewhere. I don't like that because it's not. Like, it's not. It's literally not. It's five, it's nine. 30 in the morning. It's not 5 o'clock anywhere.

It almost sounds like Ben Shapiro responding to. Technically, it's not 5 o'clock somewhere. It's not. So that really pissed me off. You know what I, you know what pisses me off? Hit me. Real quick. Straight dudes that act gay. Because it's the same thing as white dudes trying to be

black. I'm like, just be yourself. Like Harry Styles has been pissed me out with that recently. It's not a home club. I'm a lady. Yeah, because if gay dudes do that, I'm like, yeah, sure, do your gay thing. Have fun. But you see a straight guy. I don't know why it's like, I'm like, I'm like, it's like annoying. Well, does it feel

I feel like it feels calculated. Yes, it feels fake. Yes, absolutely. Absolutely. Yeah. Yeah. But there's also a way to do it well.

Like, I'm somebody like Bowie, you know? Yeah, yeah. You're just trying to reiterate past things. Yeah. You're not doing it correctly. Like, I don't know what would be. Yeah, what would be like something cool?

Like, if I was a rock star, how could I like stand out today? I don't know, because the only band that's like, have you heard of Greta Van Fleet? Yeah. those guys are like doing like 70s rock stuff.

But they're doing they're just doing a new version of it. That's how you do something cool. You're seeing a picture of a Ramstein concert? Aren't those of the guys? Isn't that the guy that just like wore a prosthetic cock and like came on the whole audience?

They're awesome. Yeah. There's like there was like there it's like, Deshaambangy, whoa. It's like I think it's. And those are the guys

that were in the forests that the Romans showed up at and were like, what the fuck? Yeah. Those guys. Dude, they were like fake cocks

and pee all over everybody. They're like that. Very performative. Like, that's cool. Yeah. That level of wild shit. Yeah, why don't you do some shit. I don't know. Put peanut butter all your face. Or like G.G. Allen, he used to shit and then throw it at people.

Yeah. And fight audience members. That's what Harry Stiles should be doing. He's like, oh, he wore dress. He's seven of Danny. Shut up. It's just old. Like when, was he paid to do it?

Yeah, absolutely. Winco Bain did it? Cool. Yeah. But you do it. It's not. Punch yourself in the fate. Show us, make us afraid of, I want to be concerned.

Yeah. Are you okay? Is there's something wrong with Harry's? You don't need you got to be like, is he okay? What's going on here? Yeah. Ezra Miller should be a musician. Ezra Miller crushing it.

Yeah. Every week you're like, what the fuck is wrong with you? What is happening? Yeah. Disaster of a person. Musicians learn something. Kanye, nailing it. Absolutely.

Yeah. Give me something. You know, actually he's kind of fucking up recently. I haven't heard of him doing anything crazy the last couple weeks. Dude. Stay on top of it, Kanye. Yeah. Dude, I was talking about, I actually just talked about this on the episode that will come out this

Friday. I guess that like So Kanye has a new album Or like not a new album But like a new Caled He's cursing again Which I'm very excited about

Yeah I'm in on that DJ Khalid and Emmett Basically there was something That like is Eminem like a Christian Or like he had like some lyrics That were like something about like Alluding to him like being a Christian or something like that And I was like one that would be really cool

And because dude Then you could have you if you had Eminem Chance the rapper and Kanye West As just like hey we're kind of Christian, there are no excuses as like a Christian rapper anymore to not be anywhere good. My issue is this. I think Kanye West is who Eminem used to be. And Eminem is no longer who he used to be. So I think Kanye West has that exciting, provocative music. And Eminem kind of just nothing he's done has been that interesting. Does that make any sense? Sure. Like I think, like I think you're,

I feel like I'm about to stay in Eminem pretty hard. Yeah. Well, we're recently. I mean, I mean, I guess, I guess recently is like, I mean, I want to say Kamikaze, but Kamikaze was five years ago. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That was 2018. Yeah, yeah. And that album rips. I love that. I love that.

I didn't like it as much. I don't hate it. I don't, I don't, I don't, yeah, I didn't mind music being murdered by. I thought there was a lot of, I thought there were several good tracks on that. Okay. Maybe I got to give it another list. You know what? Yeah.

You always, you always provide me some information. I'm like, you know what? Let me give it a chance. Yeah. Yeah. The rapper. Yeah. But I basically...

Because I always loved Eminet. Like, like... Eminus my boy. Yeah. Well, did you see what's his face? What's it? Who's... The game?

Yeah, that was the word... That might have... But that was... That was... The funny part was he's like, man, I've never heard a single one of your songs. And then everything was like a reference to his songs. It was like...

No, no. And he also... He clearly was doing references to everyone. Yes. Absolutely. He's like, yeah, I'm so gangster. I asked somebody what your music was like so I could perfectly describe it,

but I would. when it listened to the music. But it's also so stupid. It's clear that... You want to talk about something that's clearly like a marketing thing. At least to me, that's so clearly a marketing thing.

Because it's... No one who's ever actually really, really good is like, I'm better than Eminem. I don't think the game is bad. I don't think he's bad, but nobody anywhere ever or forever would be like the game is better than Eminem.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Never. Yeah. Nobody who's even on... But the people that are on the same level of somebody like Eminem would never say shit like that. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

It's people that are reaching that are trying to glom off of his success, which is exactly what he said when, like, MGK came after him. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, it is reaching. Yeah, I agree. Yeah, we do have to wrap it up. All right, yeah, so Matt Bowman is bothered.

Spotify, Apple, all of that stuff. I was slowly moving my hands towards a stop button. I was like, how fast can you get it in? Yeah, just like, I'm getting the light. But yeah, Matt Bowman is bothering, new episodes every Friday. Yeah, I'm doing shows around New York. Yeah, check his Instagram.

He's a very funny guy. Yeah, Matt Bowen Comedy on Instagram, please. Bye.