Morning Good - Walk a Mile in My Shoes - Episode 67

Episode Date: March 13, 2022

Thanks to Eli and Jake for coming back on the show, also to Jake for saying that we're his favorite. Check them out and give them a follow to see what they have going on and maybe catch one of their shows. Jake is on IG @jake_timothy and Eli is as well @eli_haba.As always, find Michael Good on Instagram @michael_good1125 and on Twitter @agoodmichaelThis podcast was produced by Paxton Fleming, you can find him on Instagram @yaboypax 

Thanks for the F-Shack. I love dirty Mike and the boys. Hey, are you dirty Mike and the boys? How do you know who we are? What's this? They called the podcast? Morning good, good? I love that.

Yeah, it's me with the boner on the front. Welcome to morning. All right, and we're recording. We're here with Eli Haba. Yo. And Jake Timothy. Yo. All right, and they're late because they don't take my boner podcast.

Seriously. No, well, we asked, each of us asked you last night, what time are we doing this? And I just did not answer. You pretty much walked away. I texted you the question. You didn't answer. And then you just ignored him. Oh, man, I bet.

I asked you when you were on the corner and you just didn't, you like pretend I didn't say anything. It wasn't intentional. Seems like it. But you guys are like, let me show up late now. Well, then that is fair. We figured this would be like a five p.m. You know, call him five. Oh, yeah, I'm getting fired, by the way, for everybody.

By the way, the last time I did this podcast was when you got fired from a different job. Yeah, I'm starting to think that they're not Dickson, I'm the problem. You're not built for corporate America? No, no, they can't handle this. Who's been, who can I just, who's been on your podcast most? By the way, I just want to say,

look how bad I am already avoiding questions. I was better to talk about something completely different. Probably either you or probably you. How many times have you done it? It's a lot. This is my favorite podcast. Oh, yeah, for sure.

It's not a good. It just has like four, four times now, some five times maybe, this time. Yeah, yeah, you've been on here a lot too. Yeah. All right. I just want to stay champ. Yeah, yeah. I want to stay on top, too.

It's something to be proud of. I just got all these stickers. Podcast champ. Because I think I was telling you, I took a bunch of Adderall yesterday because I was like, I really can't get fired from this job. I got to start taking it really seriously. And then that's what everyone, when they take a job seriously, like, let me make sure I take more drugs.

Yeah. I mean, it does make you better at data entry. But, and then I immediately got fired. Oh, fuck. this was the job. You work from home, don't you? And like, you do whatever, as long as you hit your hours, you can work at any time. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And this is the job where, like, everyone at your job is really cool. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah. Dude, yeah. Dude, yeah. Well, the funny part, this is the first job you had where people understand you. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. And it was so funny because when my boss fired me, it was the funniest conversation because he's like, yeah, we all saw this coming. You know, we knew this from day one, right? And I was like, wait, what? No, I didn't know. I didn't know this. It's like when a girl breaks up with you. And she's like, we both know that this was never going to work out. And you're like, no, I thought this was, this is fine. I could be better. Yeah. It was funny too because, like, we were entering like a new data system.

And as I'm going through it, like weeks ago, I'm like, man, this kind of seems like it would make my job obsolete. And I just didn't think about it until like, yeah, no, you're done. I got two weeks, though. So, you know. That's nice that they do that. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. That professional courtesy. Yeah.

What if they, I can see them in Jamaica the next two weeks, hell. Like, they're just yelling at me. I mean, because it's like, what am I going to? I mean, I feel like they've wanted, like, it's like a courtesy two weeks. How much can they yell at you over a computer? Loud. Really? They're like, turn your volume up.

You clearly not hear it. Put headphones in. Now it's part of the punishment. Cover your nipples and whipped cream. Yeah. He blows a dog whistle. It's very intense. Actually, I couldn't hear a dog whistle, right?

Only dogs can hear it? No. No, that defeats that whole thing. That'd be funny, though, if he thought that was hurting your ears. Yeah. And you're like, ah, oh no. Isn't it like that, it's kind of like that bell from Polar Express where only people that believe in Santa Claus can hear it ring?

Did you see Polar Press? It's just like that. Yeah, I mean, it's a similar concept. Yeah. Yeah. That was always like a sick day of like the end of elementary school where like for winter break they throw on Polar Express. Yeah, and do that in the north.

Eli has a look at it on space. He's like, I don't give a fuck about this. He's like, you're clearly trying to like, get rid of dead air. I think I saw that movie one time at my cousin's house. We definitely didn't watch it in school. Yeah. I went to a school of a place where there are more Jewish people.

Oh, yeah. Well, in Florida has plenty of Jewish people. Plenty is a bad word. Where are you from? I was talking to Orlando. I was talking to somebody else about that. There were like, there's plenty of Chinese people in New York City. It implies that you have a surplus.

You could stand to lose a few and it wouldn't be a problem. Oh, yeah. And then he's like, there's plenty of people. He's like, is enough fine to say? I'm like, no, it's not anywhere. Yeah. Don't even say there are Chinese people, just avoided. Yeah, I don't believe in them at all.

Yeah. Well, I just don't go to that part of town. I know they're really just Japanese. They're full. It's part of this whole, it's the transgender thing. We know what the truth is. What was this conspiracy theory? Oh, they're all Italians.

Yeah. All Chinese people are Italian people that are in witness protection. That's why they're wearing makeup. That makes them look Asian. Yeah, they're wearing like Bella. the go see tape. Yeah, like they all got like a surgery and they all like created a culture so that Italians like leave them alone.

This is kind of, I like this. It's weird. They do like, who is it, Andy Rooney or Mickey Rooney who is from Breakfast at Tiffany's? Mickey Rooney. Yeah. They do that kind of thing. They just wear like buck teeth and they tape their skin back. And I'm supposed to not think it's funny.

No. It's, you ever seen that movie? Ever seen breakfast at Tiffany's? Yeah, it is wildly over the time. Yeah. He won an award for that. Yeah. That movie would suck if he wasn't in it.

The movie does. It still sucks. It's like about like two minutes of entertaining parts. But then he'll hop in and it's like there's no point. Oh, it's funny. It's so fucking funny. It's completely no reason for him to be in the movie.

He's bad in it too. And he won an award for it, which the only explanation is that they were like a rewarding racism. Yeah. You're like, you're talking to the side of the park. Over the top. I mean,

it's over the top and doesn't even like, I haven't seen the movie in a long time, but doesn't serve the plot really at all. Yeah. He could just. just be the angry neighbor. And also that role could not be in the movie. It doesn't advance the plot. Yeah, I could, yeah.

Well, another one that was interesting was Rob Schneider, because it's tough because he's half Asian. He's like, yeah, he's like half Hawaiian. But in Chuck and Larry, he's like, I will marry you guys. And it's like full on. So I'm like, I don't know. Is that, what's half black? Is Hawaii count as Asia?

It's happy. Oh, okay. Pacific Island. Yeah. They're like Samoans. Oh, okay. Yeah. like the rock is he. I mean, is he? He's

Appy. Appy? Yeah. Is that what's called? AAPI. That's what I call him. Happy Appies. That sounds bad. I thought it was AAPL. No, Islanders. Oh. They're Island boys? I thought it was just landers. That sounds so bad. Landers. Pacific theaterers. Do you start calling them Landers? Like, that's your derogatory term that no one understands. Landers, what do you mean?

Like people from Ohio? Like racism in like a sci-fi movie. What are you mainlanders? People from like a terrestrial planet. I'm also like I don't know. What are the rules if you're half out? Look at these webbed foots. Isn't that like what the sneaches were in the, the doctor's book, the starbelly sneaches?

The whole book's like about racism. Yeah. There's like the starbelly sneaches. Well, that was like why he got in trouble. Because all his cartoons were like, it was the Asian-looking guys. The sneeches, I know what you're talking about. That book was literally about like,

you shouldn't treat people differently just because they have like a different symbol on their body. Like that's, that was the racism. Oh, I remember. But then, but then every other book. Yeah, every other book he wrote was like,

he was like, unless they're Jews. How many like, treat those people differently? He had to invent creatures to draw. And they had to be creatures that, you know, like a kid. could have an emotional connection to so they have to look somewhat human. How many times can you do that

before you're just drawing different ethnicities? I mean, I don't have the answer for that, and I don't know. Right. I think not many. Yeah, that's, yeah,

I don't know, I don't know why I feel like I have to cap that off by either agreeing or disagreeing. Drawing a line in the same of going, my brain is just not functioning right now. I use this, get a piece of paper and start drawing different gauges and we'll see how long,

like kind of monkey. He's on a typewriter. How long before you draw a Chinese guy? That was like a doctor who's taking like a roar shock test. They just hold up like a really abstract thing. And he's like, Chinese guy. AAPL. Jamaican.

Yeah. Is he American? Oh, yeah. He also, he hated children. Not what? He hated children. Really? Yeah.

Why do he write books? Doesn't that make him such a weird guy? Yeah. Now I don't like him. He's awful. It's kind of like, you know how Dr. Shoes was like terrified of mice? I didn't know that.

Walt Disney was terrified of mice. Not Dr. Seuss. Dr. Mengala. Sorry. terrified of mice. Dr. Dr. Walt Martin Luther Disney.

Walt Disney, he like was terrified of mice. And so he wanted to make the mic. Was he the animator or the organizer, though? I don't really know much about the guy besides he froze himself. Yeah, I don't know. he's drawing the sketches? Did he invent Mickey Mouse? Or was he just kind of like the Thomas Edison of it

where he like positioned himself very favorably? Yeah, I don't know actually. I think he drew the original Mickey Mouse? Yeah. And then once that cartoon became like... You think you just drew the original Mini Mouse and somebody was like, what are you doing? He's like, oh, I'm inventing a new series. I would love to see

at the beginning sketches. Pants are already down and he has a boner. I like in the beginning, Mickey Mouse, Mini Mouse is huge He's like, all right, we'll work back from here He's like, racing them slowly, slowly You watch a documentary and they're like bring out his first drawings

And they're just like hentai They're like, they made them The cartoons a little more mainstream As they gained popularity Yeah, they started removing tentacles From every character But you know how like all those documentaries They always end up like fighting for like

Any movie about like somebody's about How he really like fought for what he wanted I could just, it's just him just getting really mad about it. He's like, this is my art. You can't take it from me. It's not for kids. It's more adults. Is he like an important part of your culture?

Do you guys like, because we learn about like the Revolutionary War and stuff because of where we're from? Do you learn about like Walt Disney and Disney. We do. Yeah. There's a book about it. It was called like, I forgot it was, but it's about this like settler family in Florida, which was kind of funny because like. Settler family in the 19,

60s. Yeah, it was so much. Because it was like, it was like the settler family like moves down to Florida. It was trying to like show their intensity. But it's nothing compared to anywhere else. Like it's not like going out to like the Midwest. It was like basically, I believe at the time, what's it called? I have no idea what this far.

Manifest destiny. No, I know that's what that's called. But it's like, that was a good joke here at the other day, by the way, in the group chat. The manifesting his destiny. Oh, yeah. That is good. You don't even know what we're talking about. Yeah.

It was in the Arden. Yeah, whatever it's called now. The Arden. We're just hyped on Ardenwood. I'm cool with. Yeah, no. What the fuck? Yeah.

You have a settler family. Yeah, yeah. Because like the other settler, it's like, oh, we had to like fight Native American. But I don't know. Always had to eat each other in Colorado. Yeah. This Florida ones, like the swamps were like thick up to our boots.

And that was like basically the whole story. And then it had something to do with like Disney starting to be built in Florida. But it couldn't have been that old because I think Disney was... Wasn't it in the 60s? I think so. Did you watch that documentary, The Florida Project? Anybody? It was a movie.

It was a movie? A series? Florida Project? William DeFose in it, isn't it? What is it? It's a narrative? Yeah. Like, oh, I didn't know that.

I thought it was, there was a documentary called The Florida Project. No. It looks like a documentary, but it's not... That guy made, I was telling you, he's the one of the same made that Red Rocket movie. Do you say William Defoe? Sean Baker. Is his name? Did you say William Defoe?

What's his name? Willem. Willem. Willem DeFoe. Oh, I've been calling William this whole time. Yeah. That's an easy mistake. Yeah.

Yeah. That's what it should be. Are you fucking retard? William. Yeah. No, I don't know. What, the director of Red Rockets? Yeah.

Yeah. Which I will say impressive movie. I really want to watch that. Yeah, I'm not going to remember it. He made a movie called, his first movie is called Tangerine. And it's fucking great. That was the one that was shot on an iPhone. That's why I got all the cloud.

Yeah. Yeah. But it is a good movie. But I've also seen those iPhone commercials. apparently it's very easy to shoot a whole movie on those. Have you seen those where like it's like the guy like there's some guy like running up the wall doing all this whole stuff and they're like you could make

any movie on this iPhone. Yeah. Then it shows the movies people make on iPhones and it's just amateur porn. Yeah. It's like this could be you. The one thing I've not used like I got the new iPhone. I haven't used any of the features like you can change the focus, the rack focus between two characters.

That's kind of cool that it does that. Yeah, yeah. We'd never use that in my everyday life. That would be annoying if you were, like, filming a clip, and it just kept, like, focusing on the waiter every time they walked in the room. Oh, yeah. It's always the wrong guy. Just some guy in the back guy.

I'm just zooming it on his face. This is whoever is heckling you. It just keeps focusing on him. I wish I want to buy a new phone just for the battery life. It's fucking awesome. I don't want to pay for the fucking four camera lenses and shit. I don't care of a fuck about any of that. I just want my phone to not die.

I didn't get a new phone for, like, four or five years. And my phone, it wouldn't last like nine hours, my battery pretty much. And now I don't have charged my phone for like three days. That's fucking solid. It's fucking dope. That's definitely. My phone dies. If it's cold out, my phone will die at 40%.

Yeah. It sucks. Yeah. No, mine will, it'll just drop fast. So it's like, but also, I never charge it. So it's completely fair. I know. But, uh, I saw an iPhone 12 on the train tracks the other day at, uh, city hall.

We could go down there and see if it's still there. There's zero percent chance that it is there. Yeah. Somebody definitely hopped down to get it. Would you go get it? So it was on the train tracks? It was on the train tracks and it was directly underneath the third rail.

No, because I'm such a fucking pussy. I'd end up feeling guilty and returning it to the guy. And then I'm like, what? No, if you go down there, it's yours. That's your phone. If you go down there and get it, that's your fucking phone now.

I one time to jump down at the train tracks because they saw a wallet down there. Do you clear it? You could probably sell it for more then. Yeah, that's a good point. No, I wasn't selling the child porn. I was selling the phone. Telling the vessel of childborn.

Yeah. Completely different situation. Yeah, I don't know, man. Yeah, that's tough. The third rail is the one that like electrocutes you, right? Yeah. That's the one that has like the wooden cap on top of it. Yeah, I don't know. I had a boss who would tell me the story.

The job I was working at was right next to the train station. And she would tell me that like when she was younger, she was jumping over the train tracks with a couple friends. and one of her friends just sat on the third rail and killed himself. Intentionally? By accident. He didn't know. They were like children.

She would just tell me that story and be like, all right, go deliver pizzas. Damn. It's crazy. I knew a guy that fucked up his arm that way when he was a kid. He was like a swim coach and his hand was like really messed up because he like, he, like, he was climbing a train when he was a kid and the train like turned on. I mean, you assume that the train's not just sitting there for 20 hours. And then I heard he like fell over and then somehow got his hand caught on like,

the bottom of it. So, but he was a great swim coach. Yeah, because his hand was like mingled. Fused together. Yeah, yeah, it's kind of an advantage.

Yeah. Like it was a perfect cup for water. It's basically like he had fins on his hands. It was very impressive. That's cool. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Was he able to go like pro? No,

no, no, no, or you can only teach swim in Orlando. You can only teach swim in Orlando Florida. Maybe he did, though, because like, I feel like swimming, like, I don't know, there's a lot of like,

what's it called, like, I don't know, there's lots of like, J.O., I had friends, the junior Olympics. The J-O. The J-O-I's.

A lot of my friends were in the J-O-I's. Sure, God, instructions. No, but like, I thought it was so impressive. And then I heard so many people being like, yeah, no, he was in the Junior Olympics. She was in the Junior Olympics. I'm like, I don't think the Junior Olympics were that far ahead of the Special Olympics. Like, I feel like it was not, like, that challenging of a thing to get.

But I'm just based on. I think I also live in Florida. So, like, I feel like people that are good swimming normally live there. Where's Michael Phelps from? Junior Olympics and the Special Olympics are like in the same caliber. Could they compete against each other? I used to think that Paralympics and the Special Olympics were the same. Yeah, I thought they were until 30s.

Well, because they're both disabled. They're just disabled in different ways. Yeah, but just like strength versus like, like, I don't think intelligence helps you that much in like a sport. So it's like if you were missing legs, clearly you're going to be like, it's not that they don't. Well, they don't. I don't televise the Special Olympics.

Do they not? No. But it's also not. I don't think the special Olympics is like the best. You know what I mean? It's not the best. It's not the best.

It's just like they go to different cities and they're like anyone who fits this criteria can play or compete in the... Yeah, it's more of a fundraiser, right? Yeah. It's just like an event to put on for people that are like disabled. It's not just like...

You're not representing your country? Yeah. But the Paralympics are. That'd be fucking awesome. Dude, if it was one week. later and viewership just skyrocketed. It would be so funny.

It would be great if they did. They went around to every city under the guise of like it's just like an event for the people of this city. Like everyone come out and compete and then whoever is like the fastest they like pull them to the side and they're like, hey man go pro. Yeah. Do you want to go to Vienna? Yeah.

It's got to be interesting because like the para I wonder how the Paralympics is competitive though. That is an Olympics. Yeah, yeah. It's like one week after the regular Olympics. Crazy, crazy. A lot of them used to be Olympians and got hurt. That's a lot of them.

They used to be regular Olympians. They're all professional athletes. They just have whatever their disability is. I just wonder if there's like certain advantages though because if it's like, all right, there's like the running race for people that are like missing like one. Like if you're, do they measure? But what about like the skiers that are paralyzed from the waist down?

Do they have skis on the wheelchairs? They have like, they have a mono ski and they like fucking bolt them to it. I swear it's crazy. It's so scary, dude. They can't control half their body. At that point, you're like, I don't even want to live. Dude, I was watching the X-Game. X-Games is on like a week before the Winter Olympics.

I was watching the X-Games. And there was a dude, there's like a, they have like a ski jump challenge. So it's like to get the most air or something. All the snowboarders, all the skiers do it. And then they had a dude who I think he was like paralyzed a few years ago. But he used to compete in the. regular X-Games. And so they just, like,

strapped him to this mono ski. And they, there's no, once he starts going, that's it. So they, they just bring him to the top of the hill. And, like,

four of his snowboarding buddies, just, like, give him like a bobsled, just, like, run with him and push him down the hill. And then he just has to stay upright. And then he goes off the jump,

gets crazy air, hits the ground, and immediately falls. Yeah, that's tough. Yeah. Well, he can't get, like, more hurt, I guess.

Yeah. But the also thing I wonder is like, okay, so let's say it's like a running race, right? So, like, the people that have those cool, like, legs, you know, the ones that bend backwards, it's like a metal thing. Like, how do they decide what's fair? Because there's got to be one guy

missing one leg versus a guy missing two legs. Like, is there that, is that part of... I think it'd be better to be missing too. Yeah, but either way, one's better than the other. So how does that work as far as? You think those things are like an advantage. 100%. Yeah. There was a wrestler I knew. Depending on how much of your leg you're missing. Yeah. Yeah. There was

a wrestler in high school, and I remember he had no legs and, like, was missing an arm. And, I mean, we always joked that, like, Weight class-wise was kind of unfair because he's just He's wrestling like the lightest people But also he would fuck people up like incredibly talented Like would swing around their bodies Like literally like it was the most impressive

Like that guy Zion? Maybe I think it's not documented by that guy Maybe there's like a couple of them There was one that my brother wrestled against in high school There was like another school had a guy missing one leg And so his weight class was like 20 pounds lighter than it should have been

Yeah And so he'd be like I'm not gonna like protest it Yeah he had like the frame of a guy that should be like 175 and wrestling dudes that were 150. And so, and he's just missing only one leg. So he's

just fucking like flipping dudes over and like moving like a snake on the mat. It was crazy. And he would always win. Yeah. And it's also tough because you can't like can't beat that guy. Because you fucking pin him and you're like, yeah. And everybody's like, I mean fucking asshole. You also don't want to get like too close to him.

Well, you can't catch it. It's not leprose. It's just gross to touch, right? I don't think so. Yeah, that's just, I don't have a problem with that. You don't have a problem with it? I'll put it in my mouth, dude. I don't give a shit. Yeah, dude.

Maybe that's how you beat him. You put your, is nothing your mouth? You're the one that really wants to fight him. And then everyone can see your boner through your ones. You're the one guy who's like, cool with it. You're like, I don't care, dude. I'll fight him. I'll fight a woman.

Relax. The funny part was with this dude fuck somebody up. He destroyed somebody and then just strapped his legs back on. and just like walked away just like the look on the other guy I think in my memory the other guy was still just laying on the mat just like god damn it

I look bad you really get emasculated there yeah yeah and I'm sure the guy could fuck me obviously like you fuck all this up but it's still yeah there's no winning too I remember I almost wrestled

the girl in competition I just like laughed Did you wrestle? Yeah you're wrestling yeah do you think I was just watching all these wrestling matches yeah did you like

did like cut weight and shit before you had a friend who did that and he would he would look like so gaunt right before it weighs. See, I didn't care that much. That was the problem is like, I was never very good at it because I was like, yeah, I don't know. At the end of the

day, like, I'm still going to get drunk on saying. Hanging out with the boys. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It was one of those, I remember my, somebody told me, though, it was funny. They're like, dude, chicks love wrestlers. They're like, watching wear the tight clothes, and I was like, hell yeah. And then I went and I was like, yeah, no girls are going to a while. Why would they? That's a weird thing.

I went to my buddies meets, and they smelled like fucking dick. They smelled so bad. As soon as they unroll the mats, it smells terrible. I got rain warm, like, fucking nine times. The worst was club wrestling because they were homeschooled kids that would go to that. And some kid would just smell like fucking piss all the time. There's one dude.

That's got to be an advantage though. Like he's homeschooled to his dad's just like before you're not going to cut weight. You're just going to piss and shit your pants for three days. That's that technically against the rules. That's like when you're like nervous about like fighting a guy from another school who like you've heard stories about it's because he just smells

like piss. It just covers himself in his own pee. one dude did have a boner every time we're like a conversation it's like we gotta do something about this guy every single fucking time he's hard does you ever get like an oil check you know what I'm talking about is that when you get fingered by your coach kind of yeah what's an oil check an oil check is because I used to go my brother was a big wrestler and I used to go to his meets when I was a kid and an oil check was when if you were like getting pinned or you're in an unfavorable position you would just stick your finger in your opponent's ass and just get him to freak out and then you you could like kind of shift your way out of whatever thing he's got you. Yeah. And it's not against the rules. Like the coach would be yelling, check the oil. I swear to God.

The bigger is that. No, you can't say that. That's vulgar. But you can be like, check the oil. Yeah, but it is funny, though, because that doesn't work that well because everybody's wrestling is kind of gay already. So nobody's going to be like, oh, no, it's too homophobic to have a finger in my ass. After I've got a man for like 20 minutes. I got his musk on me.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. yeah that was funny all the arguments in high school i'm like the amount of times i try to explain why wrestling's not gay to people it's like hours worth of my time where i was like it's not gay okay not there's anything wrong with being gay but this isn't gay this is a men's sport my brother was uh are there were the romans gay when they did it naked yeah exactly covered in oil yeah they did it with their manservants and then they fucked him what was gay about that nothing my brother he was a big wrestler in high school and uh they went to states whatever and like several years ago, like five, six years ago, he's older than me.

We got my parents house in Jersey and he was like going through like one of the bedroom closets. And I asked him, I was like, what are you looking for? He's like, I'm looking for my onesie. Like my wrestling outfit. I was like, why? And he goes, I'm going to start wrestling again. I was like, fuck yeah, dude. You're joining like a wreck thing or an intermural or whatever?

He was like, no, I met a dude online who wants to wrestle me. And I was like, that's not real, is it? And he goes, I swear to God. I was like, what do you mean you met him online? He was like, I was looking for people that like wrestling on Craigslist. And then I asked, I was like, so what are you going to do? Like, you're going to go, where are you going to wrestle him? And he goes, he says he has plenty of room at his apartment.

And so he goes to this guy's house to wrestle him. And I asked him about it. I was like, what, like, do you like bring your onesie with you, like, in a bag? And then you get changed in his bathroom? Or do you, are you wearing? it underneath your clothes and like it looks legit so you just take your sweats off and apparently he went there

wrestled him one time and then never talked to me about it. I've asked him a couple times. I was like, what happened? And he's just like nothing. It's just I didn't like him. He was like, it's not gay. I'm like, I don't think he knows that. It's definitely gay. Oh, 100%. He's like come to my apartment and

wrestle. That's fucking bizarre. It's so fucking funny. I think you get there and he doesn't even have Mets. He's like, like, all right, we're not, clearly we're not wrestling. Yeah, exactly. That's like a gay euphemism or something. Like, it's a code for something else. Yeah, also, who's judging? Like, do they have...

Is it, though, on Craigslist? Wouldn't they just say, like, I'm looking for gay sex? I guess, maybe. Why would you need a lie on Craigslist? Because it's like, it could be some... If you see the ad, and it's just like, it doesn't say wrestling at all, he's like, I'm looking for a man to, like,

hold me down. Check. Choke me out. Do you think you play like music while they're wrestling? That's such funny. He walks in

there's like seal playing and candles everywhere and he goes, I've never seen a tournament like this. But there are 11 other guys here. Yeah, I picture either that or just like seethe or like God smack.

Like that's the kind of music through wrestling. Just like 2000s like hard rock, just some hinder. Not like lips of a angel, but other other hinder songs. It's so, hey, it'll be funny. It's really good to hear you, you old boys.

I haven't know any of those songs. You have no idea. You don't know lips of an angel, but I have no idea what you're talking about. Damn, you guys should have done wrestling. Yeah, that might be a Florida thing. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I mean, it's definitely, I mean, wrestling is kind of white trash. And so is, I mean, I guess, high school sports.

Some of the best wrestlers come out of, like, Indiana and shit like that. It's like a big Midwest thing. Yeah, yeah, it's definitely not a Florida thing. We fucking sucked. Florida was bad. Our one coach was good, though, because I guess he was, Like, my club coach was like, I don't know if he was actually doing this. I don't want to get, get him in trouble.

But he was accused of adopting kids. So they'd be in his school district. Accused of adopting children? Yeah, like, I think he had like 10 of them in like a house. He's like, these are all my kids legally or something like that. It's like, yes, and they're in my school district. And by chance, yes, I am the wrestling coach. And yes, he was accused of adopting kids to like.

Wine siding. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. To kind of. What's that actually? actually called, like red shirting?

That's not red shirting. Not red shirting is when you're, like, you're too old or something. Yeah. Yeah. And I don't think they were all orphans or anything. I'm sure they were just... Right.

Well, that's what I'm saying. The only thing, then is he like picking kids out at the orphanage. Yeah, that's kind of... Like, it's just like, I want the ones with the lowest center of gravity. Yeah, I don't know. I don't know. Well, that's why apparently chicks were good at wrestling because they have, like, low center of gravity.

What, like, he could do that with, like, baseball players or football players or soccer players and like potentially make a crazy amount of money. Yeah. He's doing with a high school wrestlers. There's no money in that. Yeah. I mean, that's just a love of the game.

Yeah. I think he was like an Olympic coach too. A Paralympic coach. Yeah. I'd like me like see a documentary about the coaches of the Paralympic teams. Dude, I could see the special Olympics wrestlers being better at wrestling than. I wrestled for like one or two years. My brother was like super athletic, super into sports when he was in high school.

And so my parents put me into every sport that he was really good at. And I was good at none of them. And he was like 10 years, 8 years old than me. And so I did wrestling for like one or two winters. And they had me wrestle the coach. I was terrible at it. So they would just have me wrestle the coach's son who was severely autistic. And he would just like, you fucking drool all over me.

And like if I was ever doing well, he'd just fucking bite me so hard. Oh shit. Yeah, that's not good. So he was good. He won pretty much every time. Yeah. yeah I don't know that's stuff

that by the way I want to talk that fucking show last night was wild did you see any oh the Russian the 10 p.m. Yeah the 10 p.m. He told me about it but they wasn't there

how did the rest of it go? It got bad it was so funny so what happened was funny did any more people come in? Yeah but then they left

really yeah so the show starts well that's good yeah yeah because they weren't I was trying to tell him about the show I was like

the show was not good and like what do you mean and I was like well when it was about to start one 33 of the audience just got on stage and started doing jokes for his friends and then no one stopped him. I like you saying 33%.

Right. One of three. Just got no one stopped him. Yeah. Producer didn't stop him. I mean, none of us. There are five of us in there. None of us like stopped him.

And then like turned the lights out and the fucking person running the show was just like being like, oh, come on now. You know, it's like, what are you doing? But it's also hard to kick them out. You can't. You can't kick this guy out because if you could, especially him. He was like the ringleader too. If you kick him out, then it's over.

Yeah, he was for sure that went to plan everything. It's also hard because it rained right before, like. Horton. Yeah. So it was like, it was like, all right, we knew this show was kind of going to get fucked. But what happened was like, yeah, that dude was Russian and his two friends were Ukrainian. And they were a blast, I will say, when they started talking about black people. That was so much fun.

Instead of saying, I have a black friend, the guy goes, my friend is black guy. He was the man. And then he got into like, let's describing black people like birds. that was so fucking funny when he was I was like yeah well like there were no black people in Russia like that would be like the reverence I would said something about like it would be like when like Indian people

see a cow they're just like that's crazy and he goes like no it's more like when you see a pretty bird what fuck are you talking about? I think Chris Kimback was talking to that guy before the show out front and I like was I heard them I was like looking at Chris so it was like under the awning thing

and the guy was just talking at Chris. Like, I just love that. Like, he's Russian. He had, like, a Russian accent. He's like, I love everything black. I love, like, all black clothing. I love black comedy. I wish, like, everyone in this room was black right now. Kenback was looking at me, like,

I don't fucking know. Why he's telling me this. He was also dressed like Brad Pitt from Fight Club. He had, like, the glasses. Oh, yeah, yeah. Yeah. And then it was, yeah. I was, when I got, one of them was

wearing sunglasses. One of them had sunglasses. on their head and one of them wasn't wearing sunglasses. And I like commented on it. I was there. You guys like the three stages of sunglasses, you know? And I think I was like, describe it. I just did. Oh, I'm sorry.

Yeah. That's so funny. Eastern European people like that, they dress like the way that like Quentin Tarantino thinks cool people dress. Yeah. But then the other outfit is just track suits. Yeah, yeah. I was in Poland and like,

All the dudes, it would be like, like, 20% of the guys dressed like that, like, really cool guy, early 2000s, 90s kind of cool guy vibe. I mean, it's not cool anymore, but they would like obviously spend a lot of money on their clothes and they comb their hair and whatever and they wore sunglasses. And then every other dude just shaved their heads and wore track suits. Every single other one. And they looked very aggressive. Oh, yeah. I mean, that's a terrifying. Yeah, I was.

And they all look exactly the same. Yeah. Yeah, 100%. The somebody got grossed so bad because this comic does a joke and he goes, does a joke, does the punchline, doesn't hit. They go, was that the setup for the joke? He knows the lingo. Yeah. I was like, that's crazy.

He knows them. It's also so funny. It's the most insulting thing you could possibly say. That was awesome. And then he started talking about slave. He says something about slavery. He was like, it was terrible what you guys did do black people. He brought that back?

Yeah. It was just fucking, I was like, you know what? it was, but, man, I don't know, man. I don't know what we're going to get into right out. They don't have black people over there. They wouldn't be nice to them if they did. What that? What was, well, two of them were Ukrainian.

One of them was Russian. Wasn't there like a huge? I thought he told me one was Russian. One was from Belarus and one was Ukrainian. That would be a funny thing to yell at him. Yeah, man. But walk a mile in my shoes. You try not enslaving people.

Well, they also. A lot harder than it looks. They just like enslaved like fucking all the people that were in charge before. They just enslaved political dissenters. Because they didn't have anyone that was different. And then didn't didn't they do something to Jews or something?

Yeah, but everybody's done something to Jews. Yeah, nobody's hands are clean. Yeah, that was fucking strange. But I had a great, like the end of day, but like, I had fun on stage. I'm just like, there's no when I asked a producer was like, how much time am I doing? And they were like,

eight, nine? I was like, mm-mm. Yeah, give me four minutes. Like me at five, dude. Yeah, and then it was like when other people showed up because more people showed up and then they just left.

So it was like, God damn it. Like three more people showed up and then those three left. Probably made the show better though. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, I was fucking bizarre. I don't know. It was a mess.

Did you guys, you guys still haven't seen Batman, right? No, I might go see it later on tonight. Did you watch Ben Shapiro breaking it down? No, no. It was so funny. Does he do that?

Does he break movies down? I guess he does now. It's kind of awesome because you're like an angry, autistic guy breaking down Batman. Like that is somebody who cares so deeply about it. I'm guilty because I fucking love Batman. Yeah, you love Batman. Yeah. I just found that out about you.

I don't know you're a huge Batman guy. Die hard. I didn't even know you're like a big movie guy. Only Batman movies. Okay. You like the comics? Yeah, yeah. I read like all of them.

Not all of them. There's like thousands of thousands. But yeah, I read most of the main ones. Yeah. But seeing him break down Batman was funny because I was also like, come on. Who's this. and then I realized I'm watching. Oh, I am for this is for me.

There's always those things where you're like, man, like there's entertainment value and so much shit that you chat on. You know what I mean? It's like reality TV. You're like, oh, this is awesome. And I would totally watch this guy. Be like, okay, he's not playing Batman.

He's basically playing Superman. That's what's happening in this right now. I'm laughing, but also kind of agreeing with him. I get some of points, Ben. Yeah. That's how I feel about like watching it together. and we're all like, what a loser. And you're like, yeah, he's not fucking Superman, is he?

Just getting mad about the wrong thing. You ever watch like Love is Blind or any of that stuff? No, no. My girlfriend got me into it. It's just like reality TV on Netflix, but it's fucking reality TV is great. Yeah, it really is. It's just the worst people on earth. 100%.

And that, the love is blind is like the best of it. It's the worst people I've ever seen. What is the, I've never, the premise of the show is they're blind? No. The premise is... That would be better. Just blind people fucking. The premise of the show is all these people are like put in like pods.

So they can't see each other. The women can see each other and the men can see each other. But they can't see the opposite sex. And they're supposed to talk... The women can see all the women and the men can see all the men. And so they each like go on dates with each other through like a wall where they can't see each other. They can only hear each other. Okay.

Wasn't this a game show? Kind of. And the premise is just like... There's a whole. the wall and the girl sucks the dick from one. I've seen this. It takes place in the highway rest-up. Yes.

And they see if they can fall in love. And then, like, if they do, they get engaged without seeing each other. And then they have, they, like, go on a honeymoon and they get married and shit. And you, like, watch that, too. They should make them have kids. You should make them break each other. What are you talking? I want to watch one that makes me think that this is real.

Because people, like, get caught up in whatever aspect of this. you watch it because you think it's ridiculous and some people watch it and they think that they're actually like ending up together but it's not real yeah so let's get some skin in the game none of the point of the show isn't like you don't feel like it's necessarily real or that any of these people even have like an inner life it's just like you can tell it's so transparent they all want to be famous so bad but they have no skills they're just useless and they're so fucking stupid like not really not for tv not really okay yeah this our highest standards I've been watching Love Island, the UK one.

And they're all fucking so hot. Oh, yeah. They're all so fucking hot, but none of them have like a sexy British accent. They have the conga one. Yeah, it's crazy. It's the hottest people you've ever seen and they're all like tan. And like, they're like fucking 2010 hot. Where it's like, they're all just perfect skin fucking shredded.

So hot fake tits. And then they're like, what then? well, that all, I want to get a snog with them on, because she well fit in it. And it's what? And that's the girls talking. It's not even the guys. It's so, I would like it. It was those hot chicks, but then old cockney guys.

Like, where they're like fucking, like, oh, yeah, what she's wrong? All right. Hey, gangy. Yeah. Like that fucking. Dude, I watch. Like, the girls are still hot, just banging some guy with the fucking, like, top hat. But he's, maybe not top hat, but like, really, like, drunk, bar drunk, British guy.

This is the first time he's ever been somewhere that isn't cloudy. And he's, like, super sunbat. burn. It's all it takes it. Oh, you know,

I bend over a little bit. Kevin Ellovera, love. You can't, if you watch it without subtitles, you cannot understand them. Oh yeah, I watch it with more.

It's so fucking funny. Yeah. I watch it with Isabel and I make her turn off the subtitles because you can't fucking get more than two lines of it. Is he fit, right? He's well fit.

Well fit. Well fit. Well fit. Well fit. Well, for a little bit pete tongue, though. And the guys are, like, which bird? Which bird are you looking for? Good chat, banter.

Yeah. Yeah, I like that. It's so fucking lame. They're all like 25 years old and they'll go on these dates with each other. And they're like, you want to date with fucking Stafarlane. And they're like, yeah. And then they all like run to a room and talk about it together. So fucking stupid.

Yeah, it's bad. It's kind of great. It's so funny, dude. That's my favorite thing about Love is Blind, too, is how all the people in the show are like 30 plus. And they're all, they act like they're fucking 15. Yeah. Like, come on. Dude, like, men who've just met each other are like, dude, I fucking love you to death, bro.

Like, she broke your heart. I'll fucking kill that bit. Like, it's so dumb. We've been friends for three years and have never said that. that's not what real friends say to each. No, no, but he would say that. I like the idea of the game show, though, where they actually, part of the game show is getting somebody pregnant.

That's what I'm saying. I want to see a game show with the exact same people, which is like idiots that want to be famous. And I'm like, okay, you guys are going to end up together. And the show is called, who can have the most babies at once? Who can ruin their credit? Hosted by Octo Mom. No, but like they have them.

I'm like, okay, on this challenge, you're going to apply for a loan. And they just make them take out like a 30-year mortgage. And they're like, why is this going to be like we're coupled up? But yeah, for a long time. Well, that's the hard part about these shows is, well, it's good that Netflix is doing it. But I feel like the TV, it's like they're so edited when they have to be on like mainstream. But they can make it like crazy if they did it on like, like, why don't I have a reality show about porn stars? I'd watch that.

No. What do you mean? I bet they're a day at work. Yeah, yeah. And they just show them just getting railed out. and then like the next day like grabbing coffee with her boyfriend and he's a great scene babe. Yeah.

There's a hundred percent some shit I'm born up where you, it's like you could watch people have sex and then the girl does like a confessional interview where she's like, let's get fucking Zach on the horn. I'm sure he knows something about that. He knows about that.

Yeah, I don't know, you probably find some shit like that. But maybe you don't show the actual fuck, but you show like a blurred out like HBO kind of scene where they're like R&NC. Why? Why would they blur it out? Why not just show it? You can't show hardcore porn on HBO. that's like like you didn't they do that with um

cat house no it's like blurred it they blurred but the second the penis exits the vagina then you can see it it's like the oh really yeah it's like japanese also i've never seen a hard dick on HBO i think that's the one thing they can't show because they could show vaginas they could show dicks but i a hard dick i think is a different i don't know how they judge though i don't know where the lines drawn there yeah because something is different degrees of how hard you could be you know yeah yeah there's probably somebody asked you think people probably

end up getting hard on sitting, they have to settle down, right? For like a Game of Thrones where they got like... I would imagine, but also like the shot your film, it's probably not the, it's like the 30th time they've done it and there's 70 people in the room.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. So you probably really pulls you out of it. But there's probably somebody's, and I feel like, I don't know, I like people watching. Yeah, there's some people who were into it. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, I don't know.

This is such a high repart. Do you think the guys get hard into HBO? This is our... Because, dude, the girls are hot. Yeah. A conversation. It's like I'm fucking nine years old. Yeah, dude.

My pee people get real hard. When you were nine years old, you were retarded? Yeah. I'm not getting in the session. Let's ask. I got to basically, and we got a couple more minutes. He signs off his podcast in the exact same way.

Oh, I'm abrupt as shit when I get upstate. Thank you for your time. I got to go. But anyway, you guys are great. Give it up for your host. Yeah. It's so fucking funny. But yeah, that was a,

that was a nightmare last night. But I had fun. It was a fun nightmare. I don't know. Well, that's like, I was, it was whatever for me, but I'm like,

I'm going to do eight minutes of this. I don't have to host the fucking show. Yeah, I never, no response. You had to go, you had to follow the audience. Yeah,

yeah, when they were already on stage. I also, I thought, the guy was on stage. He got off and then you got on stage. Yeah. And it felt very much like I was like a stripper at a bastard party because

because like three guys in a dark room just staring at me on stage. Yeah. And one did he had sunglasses and a fucking Hawaiian shirt. It was, yeah, it felt very much. But I liked the guy, though. At no point did I be like, I don't like you guys. You guys are fucking hilarious.

You don't give a shit about this. Everybody who had jokes, they were like not trying to hear it. Yeah. Which is fair. There's something not going on over there. I haven't heard a lot of good ones. No. There's nobody.

Yeah, yeah. No. We need a little bit of perspective. All most people know is that there is a war right now. Yeah. Yeah. But I also, I don't know. I've wanted to do this. Nobody's thought this is funny, but I still like the idea of digitally editing myself into like a nice Ukraine before the war and just like completely spread misinformation about there's nothing going on over there. And this is all completely new outlets. And it's just like really well Photoshopped me at the Capitol. Like guys, this is fucking like how many you could get people totally believe it. You get a hundred. You should send that to the guy that was at the 8 p.m. last night. that dude on the left he would be like I was having a

no dude awesome conversation with you after the show oh my god I don't want to get into it it seemed like he was trying to tell if he had seen you at like a militia meeting or something yeah without saying it he was just like were you doing comedy

at the Elks Lodge our leader Enrique Atario was arrested today it was also so funny because he said the weirdest thing because like we're not checking backscards anymore he's like yeah I'm you guys let pure bloods in here. I heard him. And I was like, what do you?

That's not what they call you. What are you fucking a werewolf? Yeah. What does that mean? It sounded white supremacistee. Of course. Yeah. He's only one context of that's interesting.

He had the only white supremacist's a haircut that isn't a shaved head. I didn't notice that. Until the lights came on, I was like, oh shit. I didn't notice your fucking Aryan brotherhood hair. Yeah. He looked terrifying.

Yeah. Yeah. It was very weird. And then he had to just fucking look in his eyes. Yeah. Yeah, he dropped his shoulder at me when I was in the bar. Oh, like he dropped and, like, hit, like, really? Yeah, I was just like, I'm not going to even, I'm not going to say anything to this guy.

He's going to fucking kill me. Yeah. The middle of my set, he goes, also kind of big, too. Yeah, dude. It was like six, four. Did you see him in the middle of my city? He goes, dude, I know, like probably two minutes towards the end of my set. He goes, dude, I know, you're funny, man.

I've seen you before. And I'm like, this is like. You're watching me right now. Yeah, yeah, exactly. That dude thought he was like at home. watching TV. Yeah. He kept commenting and he kept like trying to make jokes too.

So he wanted to be very much the focal point of the whole thing. Yeah, that's the kind of, that's the kind of guy that like turns people off of stand-up comedy. Yeah. He's like the guy he thinks he's hilarious because he's insane. Yeah. And he's just like very self-centered and has like a ridiculous ego. Yeah.

There's a million guys that go to mics just like that. And he's just super, super angry. Yeah. Yeah. He just wants a microphone and he wants people to listen to him. Yeah. But guys, we're wrapping it up right now. Thank you guys for coming over.

Jake Timothy, they can find you online. Where do you find out of the line? What? Where did they find you online? I just, you know, look me up. Oh, shit. Yeah, dude. You probably seen him already.

You probably already follow him. Yeah, you see me around, dude. If you listen to this podcast, you know who I am. And Eli? I live with Jake, so you could find me that way. All right, yeah. If you ever go to Jake's, Eli will be there. Yep.

And you guys don't want to promote your Instagram or anything. Should we just say your address here? Yeah. I think I've said it on this podcast before. Yeah, probably. I think I said my social security number. I want to put my Instagram out. I bet you.

I want to delete my fucking Instagram. I guarantee you you could put all of your personal information and nothing would happen. I'm sure I've said at least my phone number. Yeah, yeah. I would have deleted my Instagram already if like that wasn't the only way people booked me for shit. It was what? Instagram. Oh, yeah.

Yeah. I fucking hate it so much. Yeah. Just it makes me upset all the time. There's some funny videos you can see on there though. Yeah, but it's just so the negative that way. Not my. I'm in like the monkey in memes sphere.

So it's literally memes as if you're a monkey. It's like when the $2 banana hits and say, monkey having a fun phase. And I'm like, it's fucking true, bro. I've been my reels lately have just been Asian people doing stuff in malls. Oh, that is great.

It's so funny. It's like Asian guys doing like magic tricks in malls and Asian guys dancing, like five of them together in a mall. It's awesome. Yeah, that sounds very. In Asia too? I think so. I feel like, yeah, that's got to be fucking sick.

Yeah. But you an Asian mall has like fucking cool ass. as pets. I bet you've got all kinds of... I went to one in Japan. I bet you that they did the best mall in the world. I went to a mall in Thailand. China probably has zero restrictions for you. You can sell them all.

Yeah. Oh yeah. 100%. And you can smoke inside. Yeah. They say you can only smoke on no windows three through five, but that's not true. I probably buy a fucking armadillo.

I went to a mall in Thailand. I went to a mall in Bangkok because I had to get more clothes when I was over there. And the floors, like, in the elevator it was like, we sell this here, we sell this year, we sell this year. And instead of saying jewelry. It said Jewery. Like, it actually just said that.

Yeah. J-E-W-E-R-Y. J-E-W-R-Y. Jewry. Jewry. All right. But that's about our time, so we got to wrap it up. But anyway, I was...