Morning Good - Walking On Sunshine - Episode 200

Episode Date: December 17, 2023

Dylan Krasinksi and Christophe Jean join the show for our 200TH EPISODE!!! They talk about the new Godzilla movie, dog lovers, and getting solicited for prostitution.Thanks to Dylan for coming on the show for the first time and to Christophe for joining us again. Find Christophe on previous episodes of the show and check out the links down below for more.Dylan is on Instagram @dylankrasinski and hosts the Troublemakers Podcast. Christophe is on Instagram @chrisjeanofficial and hosts the Rough Week Show podcast. As always, find Michael Good on Instagram @michaelgoodcomedy and on Twitter @agoodmichael. Check out the show on YouTube and follow the official Instagram page @morninggoodpodcast.This podcast was produced by Paxton Fleming, you can find him on Instagram @yaboypax 

Thanks for the F-Shack. I love dirty mic and the boys. Hey, are you dirty mic and the boys? How you know who we are? What's this? They call it the podcast? Morning, very good. I love it.

Hey, welcome to the air. Thanks. Welcome to morning. I always wanted to do a podcast and then mess it up, like the audio goes bad or something or the video and then just be like, all right, let's try to remember exactly what we're talking. Oh, just try to recreate. By way, all right. from the top.

We'll start now. Dude. A two, a three. Oh my God. I did that. When me and Ray were doing, like, we did an ad read for this. We did like a 15 minute ad read.

And it was like, we finished. We like nailed it. And then I was like, dude, I forgot to record. That would have sold so much credit. Dude. It sucked, man. We had to do it over. Oh, brutal.

Whatever, Bluetooth, who gives a shit. We'll start. We're starting our guys. We're here with Christopching? Yes. Dylan Krasinski. What's up? Hey.

All right. I said what's up. And, oh, I thought that was the intro. Is that our intro? It doesn't matter. You want to run that back, buddy?

No, we're not running anything back. This is what we're doing. Hey, I'll do. Well, I'm Christoph Jean, a host of the Michael Good, Morning Good podcast. Yeah, yeah. I'm joined by my co-host.

Well, I almost wanted somebody else to take over from Tonsolitis. Oh, you do have. Because my voice gets kind of deeper because it's like, the only way to talk is like deeper. You have to lower your register. Yeah, yeah. I did Vinny's podcast,

And I literally was like, yeah, I was like, what is like a retarded guy? It sounds so insane. But it's like, it's my third time fucking getting it. So I'm like, I got to get them cut out. Yeah, you probably have to have a... How do you know it's bacterial and not viral? Because they told me they're like, you keep getting it. There's no way you just keep catching viruses.

That makes sense. Yeah. You got to stop sucking dirty cocks, dude. Could somebody say something else besides sucking dicks? You got to stop licking dirty guys asshole. There we go. Even that's a little different. Yeah.

I talked to my brother. He's like, would you get it. I'm making out with homeless guys. Probably fucking tongue-kissing homeless ladies. You gotta stop kissing homeless ladies. Making out with a homeless guy might be worse than sucking a homeless guy's cock. I think the, you know, the cock is not as dirty as the mouth.

Yeah, at least it's inside. Yeah. That sounds like a great way to get somebody to suck your dick on the first date. I think that was invented by guys. Like, actually the mouth is all the bacteria. But then her defense would be like, well, the dog's mouth is not as dirty as the guy's mouth.

You let the dog lick your pussy. So, you got to, did you see that lady on Twitter who was getting fucked by dogs? No. I've seen a lot of ladies get fucked by a lot of dogs. Oh, my God. Not in person, but... He said, like, he knew this so well.

I didn't say it. That's insane. Michael's like, well, you know, that's typically my category on Pornhub. I'm kind of a schnauzer, guys, personally. We're talking ladies fucking dogs. Bit of a rotwiler, you know what I mean? Yeah, they nip the neck. A little chain, like a chain collar. What kind of dog are we talking?

What kind of lady are we talking? I know what kind of position. It was just his white girl from, I want to say Florida, unfortunately. Yeah. Which sucks, dude. I mean, it's a fair guess. Yeah, yeah. I want to say Florida, and they, like, arrested her

because it's like, you can't fuck a dog. Yeah, it is illegal. Yeah, it is illegal to have sex with an animal. And they're like, you're just mad because my dog fucks me better. She was like, she was like a total trashy white girl. It was like, y'all just hating because I'm getting good dick for my dog. Y'all, man, can't fuck you with a shit. And, like, yo, you just, you fucking fuck the dog.

My dogs love it. And it was, of course, it was a pit bull. Oh, of course. I love the thought of bringing the dog in as a witness. They're just like, all right, dude, take the stand. He's like, it was good. The dog's like pointing to where she fucking,

where she touched her. Well, the one I saw that was amazing one time was somebody. It was amazing. No, no, no, not, not amazing. It was in a funny way. It's a crazy. I'm not, I don't have to defend myself. It was phenomenal.

I don't fuck animals so I can openly talk about other people fucking animals. You jack off to people getting fucked by animals. I think that's pretty bad. I don't jerk off to it. You got to stop, man. You got to stop doing that. It's not good, man. Why, we're three minutes in and I'm like, I don't fuck animals.

I don't fuck them. You're the one who said it was awesome. The video, I will say, explain why the video is awesome. My buddy sent this video one time at a group chat. Okay. And by the way, I love how much he doesn't give fuck because this, this group chat is just full of hot chicks and stuff. My buddy's just like, yeah, I don't give a shit.

You can't fake in here. You can't fake in here. You're in a group chat with hot chicks? Dude. That's crazy. Are you really? Yeah. I've never been in a group chat with anything but seven angry young boys.

They're all like five. They're 14. Yeah. I like a lot of hot high school friends. Yeah. Um, no, it's great.

I don't have any of, yeah, I'm in a group chat with, with women and I couch what I send. Like I'll send it like, it's me and my, my buddy and then two other women. And I always just,

I'll send shit to him and be like, this is just for you. Yeah. This is just for the boys. You got a side note. One thing for me, Because I also started a lot of these groups when I was in a relationship. So I was like, I don't give a fuck.

You know what I mean? So there's no part of me like trying to fuck these chicks. But he sends a video. It's this woman getting her dog licked or her pussy licked by a dog. And it is playing, who let the dogs out? And I will say, you overlay that with any atrocity. And it is a, you can do storming the beaches of Normandy with the dogs out. Dude, that's what they should do.

Like the lines at Auschwitz. Yeah. And the body was jumping. Yeah. That's what the Army should do for recruitment. Just like storming the beaches of Normandy with who let the dogs out. I would sign up at 34 years old. I'm about to become a soldier.

Send me to Gaza, baby. Let's go. Just fucking zero dark 30. Yeah. Black and or whatever, uh, green, what's it called? Night vision. Green vision. Killing Osama.

Dude, every time I see, every time I see, uh, like a war movie. I always think I'm like, I should do that That's what every Every other American War movie is like that I don't know I've watched it It is weird though

Like someone was telling me Even like the very clear anti-war ones Like you know Apocalypse now They still like Say they rallied people to like join Oh I'm sure Like that's crazy

I'm sure dude You got like have you seen Apocalypse now? No no it takes place in NOM right Yeah it's in NOM and like one of the guys Like goes crazy and goes into the woods and has like ears around his neck and he like starts a cult and it's like this psychotic

you know. Thank you for your service. Yeah. Sounds like a metal of America. How is this the take? Yeah. It's just crazy. Yeah.

Yeah, it is fucking wild. Well, the funniest was, okay, the new Godzilla movie. I'm not gonna ruin it. Yeah. Oh, please don't. Spoiler it. Yeah.

Fucking, I will say this, one of the best movies I've seen in a while. So, but the whole sort of plot of it is, this guy was a kamikaze fighter who didn't kill himself and his family's, like, disappointed. Like, there's a whole amount of shame.

It's like, I can't believe. You're so un-moral for, like, not flying your plane into a fucking thing. Crazy. Into a boat at Pearl Harbor. Yeah, you're a piece of shit. Yeah, you are kind of a piece of shit, dude, if you promised. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It is a more.

I love, I love, uh, that's crazy to me that at some point Americans were just like, hey, let's, uh, let's just use missiles instead of the planes. Yeah, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. That's crazy. But the Japanese, what do we get on the missile?

And then you don't have to kill yourself. Yeah, plane has to be more expensive than a missile. Yeah. There has to be some reason that it has to be like a last-ditch effort. Almost. It can't be like, oh, the plan is to do that. It had to be like, ah, well, we're definitely losing this one. We might as well go out with a bang.

I feel like there's no way Kamikaze is planning. Yeah, I think it is. No way. That is the funny part because they, there's like a part of the movie where they're talking about defeating Godzilla. They're like, is this a suicide mission? They're like,

oh, thank God. They're literally, they're like, they're like, this isn't like last time. He's like, dude,

I hate suicide missions. If there's one kind of mission, I really detest. Yeah, yeah, it's fly that straight in. Well, it is funny too because like,

in theory, it is a moral thing to do to sacrifice yourself. Like, it's your moral compass is off, but it is noble. Like, what you're doing, is terrible. Like, the 9-11

terrorist, it is a brave. Like, yeah, it's objectively brave. It's a, yeah, and hot take, dude. Yeah, yeah. I think Bill Marr was like the first one to say that. He's like, they're not cowards. That's incredibly terrifying, actually. What's scary than flying a plane into a building? That sounds terrifying.

Yeah, and it is like, I'd want to land it. Yeah. It's all the virgins that they got then after. That's true. There is, like, they're totally brainwashed, you know? At least the Japanese guys were just like, dude, I just love Japan. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

I just fucking love Japan so much. Do you ever see, do you see the video of the, it's like, ISIS fighters deciding who's going to be the suicide bomber? Yeah. And then they picked, duck, duck, goose. Musical chairs. Rock paper, scissors, bomb. Dude, and the guy wins and everybody's cheering. And you could see in the guy's eyes, he's like, yeah.

Fuck. All right, guy. Okay. Yeah. And they're like hugging him. They're like, my brother. He's like, Abdul, I know. You wanted it.

I'll give it up for you, I'm, I love you, man. You're like my best friend at ISIS. You want to do, we could switch. Do you think they use, like, Google Calendar and stuff to organize meetings? Thursday does not work. Oh, sorry, I have different jihad that day. I have to go to the mosque. But the, uh, the...

They do it at ISIS all day. It's probably kind of boring most of the time. Yeah. They're like sitting around playing ping pong. Yeah. Like U.S. soldiers are just like, all right. Playing pool. The kind of shit U.S.

soldiers get up to. Oh, it's like in the, you know, in the base, in the barracks. That's what's called right of barrack? Yeah, barracks. They're just nuttapping each other, playing fucking Xbox. And you're like, I guess we're at war.

Yeah. Time to go. You're like, I guess there's a war on terror. I don't really. Yeah, and it used to be heroin. They used to be doing heroin out of, yeah, and like smoking a, you know, weed out of a shotgun and stuff.

That video was so cool. That's so cool. It's so funny when you see a horrible time period and you're like, oh man, if only I could be there. I mean, it is objectively badass. Yeah, yeah. There's a, I think it's in full metal jacket. Have you seen that movie?

I've seen like the beginning of it. The first half is really great, but there's a guy who's like the machine gunner. He's like the coolest guy ever. He's just like a psycho who like will kill anyone and he's the machine gunner and he has like, what is called a bandalier? Like just the bullets.

Yeah, like the bullets. Yeah, like that looks so cool. I'm like, dude, that is badass as hell. And he's supposed to just be like a gung-ho. like brainwashed psycho you know kind of his character but you're like dude cool bandolier yeah yeah what's the one where the guy kills the drill

sergeant that's a full metal jacket yeah okay yeah i never saw it sergeant pile yeah that's uh what's his name vincent donofrio it is yeah he's great he's so good he was not fat enough for it he had a gain like 80 pounds really yeah yeah because he's like a slob he's like fat slob is like his character when he comes in he's like a big fat pussy yeah is he the one they beat with the bars of so yeah yeah i that scene. It's so good. They,

they, they, he plays the biggest, most pathetic fat pussy. And then his character goes through this like, total demented change. Like,

he's, he's, he's great. He's like, he's like, phenomenal. Yeah, is that,

he's hiding candy bars. Is that that one? Yeah, yeah, he's hiding food, I think. Yeah, no,

he's like a real fat pieces of, and he like, can't get over a wall because his, like, titties are too big. Like,

and they're all like, you're fucking, you're gonna, you're dragging us down, fucking Sergeant Pyle, we hate you so fucking much. We fucking hate you so much. And then they beat the shit out of him and then he just kills the drill

sergeant in the shower. It's so good. Yeah, that's the dark sequel to heavy weights. This got real bad. Yeah, dude, that's what happens if you were fat. If you were fat in the 60s, that's what happened. Yeah, you died of being on. You killed a drill sergeant and yourself. Yeah, we used to do the atomic sit-up from,

you ever do that, the atomic sit-up from heavyweets? Yeah, yeah. No, what is that? So it is, you blindfold somebody, you tell them it's impossible to do to sit up blindfolded. And then what you do is you're mooning. If you're really good, you fart right in their face. That's so funny. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

That's incredible. Yeah, yeah, those are really fun pranks. That's a good, gay, good, nice, homerotic teen. Yeah, and then you call them gay. It's a formula that always works. You do something gay to somebody, you call them gay. Some pedophiles got binoculars, you're jacking on. They're fucking eating each other's ass with blindfolds. I think you're putting things in my mouth. In your mouth?

Yeah, there was no tongues. Putting words in my ass. We all know how Michael likes a dirty dick. Yeah, he's got tonsillitis, dude. Yeah, I'm gonna be fine, hopefully, I don't know. But yeah, we saw it first time, we saw Godzilla in 40X, which I had no idea was the most insane movie watch. What is 40X? Dude, I thought it was going to be like the chairs were going to vibrate a little bit.

Yeah, just water splashes at you. Yes, dude, literally it's fucking insane. Wait, does it actually? Yeah, yeah. So we're sitting there and there's a train. for Jason's Daylam movie, and then all of a sudden the chairs are rocking, like, whoa.

I want to go to this. Dude, it's like a full on, like... Where did you see it? Just like a regal, dude. It was fucking insane. Union Square? Like the Times Square one.

Damn. And I don't know, like... It was so intense. It was like, have you ridden the back of the future ride or like the Simpsons ride? Yeah, yeah. It's like that intense. Or Spider-Man where it's like literally going like this.

God damn. Yeah, and then what happens... And everybody's spill... The first time it happens, nobody in the theater knew what it was going to happen. So, like, You see the picture of the guy in the chair? And it's like 4DX.

We're like, all right, I doubt you're actually going to fall out of your chair. I'm like, no, you could have fallen out of your chair. Wow. You got a seatbelt for it in a shit. Yeah, yeah. And then, um, the beginning is just trailers. So it's the trailers for Jason Stathes movie. Yeah.

And we're moving. Like, Jason Statham is punching a guy and the chairs are shaking back and forth. We're spilling. We snuck booze in and we're spilling it all over the fucking place. And then, uh, yeah, it was also like, uh, and then the Godzilla movie starts and there's spraying water at shit. gas is, we were joking about you go see Schindler's list. Just spraying the gas out.

Yeah, you're like it knocked out from the Zichlon B they pump in. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. That'd be wild. Feel the heat, dude. They make you take off your shoes and jewelry. You get a temporary tattoo. The 40x Shindler's List experience. That's so funny.

But the greatest part is, some guy, fell, we heard some guys snoring in the movie. I'm like, they're literally shaking your chair and pouring water on you. How the fuck did you fall asleep? It's like a rocking chair to him. Yeah, it was insane. It was a nice sleep for Godzilla. Yeah, yeah, I just, I didn't understand that. And dude, there's literally a part, the point of view totally changes.

So it's like, every point of view, it's moving. So at first we're like, okay, what am I right now? Because you're like, you go on like a 3D ride or something like that. You're like, oh, you guys aren't supposed to be here. And that's the whole thing. You're the, like, intruder. Yeah, but this is confusing because there's a dead body being dragged. and then the chairs were like,

am I the dead body? And there's time periods where you're kind of Godzilla because you're shaking with his footsteps. That's cool. I love to be Godzilla, dude. That is cool. Stomping Japanese people.

Breathing lasers. Specifically them. Avoiding all American tourists and stomping specifically the Japanese. Well, that is the... This is racist Godzilla. That is the craziest part of it is like, you realize that movie came out,

the original came out in like 1954. So that would be like if, after 9-11, 10 years later, they're like, what if somebody who worked in the World Trade Center got superpowers from being like hit? That was like a huge tragedy for them. And it was crazy that like 10 years later, they're like, this would be sweet

if we made like a monster come out of this. Oh, you're talking about, oh, the fat boy and little man or whatever, little boy. Yeah, because that's like what, whoa Godzilla. Yeah, the nuclear, yeah. I thought it was the opposite. I didn't understand this. I thought Godzilla got, what's it called?

Like that? Godzilla's older than that. No, 54. I thought there was a Godzilla from like the 30s. I think that's King Kong. Oh, I might be ex-on-com. You're probably right, dude.

I do want to kind of... Speaking of, I don't know why. You know what they need to do? The next King Kong show his huge dick. Yes. Just like, I need a King Kong-sized penis. It would be funny if you're circumcised. Yeah, but we're to circumcised.

I don't know how they... In the wilderness. Yeah, yeah. The other age is a little Yamakan. King Kong is Jewish. I never thought of that. Yeah. He's chosen people.

Yeah. Just curls Chosen people Yeah You do a fucking bar mitzo for a King Kong It'd be the heaviest chair Yeah King Kong

I love that Peter Jackson one Dude that was sick That one was good That would be a good one to see in 40X Oh yeah You're just on top of the fucking Empire Stability Yeah

Rockin Holding a little white girl Yeah Oh yeah Or the cat Oh yeah I like that The pole vaulting select.

That part was sick where the, what do you call them? I don't want to say, I know the words not savages. The natives. The natives. The indigenous pocketings. The savages. I mean, they kind of, that's how they're presented in them. Right, right.

They're like eating bugs and they have pain on their face. And they're like, boogha, chaka, boogha. And you're like, okay, Jesus. That's not how I would, but to be fair, they make them racially ambiguous. So it's not a real race of people. Yeah, that's nice. Yeah, they're not a real person. But I think we know.

what they're going for. You're not like, who are, I've never seen me. It's not like Avatar. Even Avatar is clearly. Is this Ohio? What's happening? Yeah, yeah.

What are they Bolivian? But that part's so sick because there's catapulting into the ship, you remember? Yeah, that shit's so sick. You ever see those people, the Senegalese, the North, not Senegalese, what are they?

Sentinel Islands. Oh, yeah, where you're not allowed to get. Yeah. And the one dude went. And they just fucking instantly. That was recent. Yeah.

That's like recent too. That's like 10 years ago. That's so funny, dude. He's like, I'm bringing Christ here. And he just gets speared in the fucking head. He's like, bro, wait until I get a load of veggie tails.

They're gonna love this. So you see the cucumber. He's talking about he's Moses in this one. It's nobody to go like, they don't speak the language of me, but somehow I'm going to teach them. I'm going to convince them about Christ. Yeah,

about a base. who walks on wall. Like, it's so fucking insane. It's also just like go to fucking like, you know, there's a million places that will not cut your head off that don't have Christ yet. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Go to fucking most of India. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Just go to Mumbai or whatever. And it's probably not a huge deal. Dude, can you imagine a Christian converter just in India? Just like, hello? Hey, I mean, they all speak English. Yeah.

It'd be a much easier sell than like these guys who have historically killed everyone who's even come close. Yeah, but to be fair, it's also a hard sale because their gods are cool as fuck. They're like four arms. What Hindu gods? Yeah, Vishnu, dude, he's fucking sane.

Yeah, he's pretty cool. Wait, your god is part man? Yeah, my god. That's lame. This guy's blue. He's like having sex with women. It's got multiple arms, dude. They're like the god of death and destruction.

What's that one? Kira, I don't remember. Is that what the I've become death destroyer of worlds came from? Maybe. No, that's from the Bhagwadah Gita. That's Oppenheimer. Yeah. Well, I know.

I know that. It's from the Bhagvadaaaida, which is, uh... Oh, you threw the accent. you really pronounce that correct i don't know that that sounded really bagvara gita yeah that's that's like an ancient hindu text where some warrior talks to some god i forget the name of the god i did read it yeah i read part of it once i feel under prepared for this podcast we just got really a little bit of research real that's like the most famous one also oppenheimer do you guys know uh kormac mccarthy yeah the road the road yeah but they were talking to him because he loves science he's like a

a real dork. Nerd. He's dead now. Good. Nerd. Rest of peace, nerd. But they were talking to him about Oppenheimer and they were like, dude, isn't that crazy?

That quote he had about the thing. And then Cormac was like, I think he had that one prepped. Yeah, that's hilarious. And the Mary's like, I've become death. No. I've become death. I have become dead. Woo.

He has a flashlight under his son. Oh. Yeah, no. What a gober. That is, I love that. You've seen Oppenheimer? No, I didn't see it. Oh, dude.

I mean, it's the... That would be cool in 4D. Well, Godzilla is the... That would be real cool in 4D. It's actual... You're just face melts. You're like, I'm dead. Oh, dude.

You get microwaves to your brain. Godzilla is the sequel to Oppenheimer. Like, in the... Oh, yeah. It is the... Oh, yeah. ...the, yeah. Oh, yeah.

Yeah, there's the scene with the... Harry S. Truman. Yeah. Because, like... Oh, I love this part, too. I love that part of the movie because Oppenheimer, you know, he feels really guilty about making the bomb. And then he goes to Harry Truman. He goes, I have blood in my hands.

Like, I feel so bad. And Harry Truman's like, dude, what? I fucking launched it. Yeah, yeah. He goes, don't try to take credit for this. Yeah, literally he goes, this is my kill. Yeah, literally. He was like, they're going to blame the person who launched it, not the person who built it.

He don't. Oh, my God. Get this. What is he? Cry baby. He goes, get this cry baby. Yeah. So these assholes.

Get this fucking pussy out of my office. Who plays Harry Truman? Gary Oldman. Oh, that's good. Yeah. Dude, what a fucking king. Gary Oldman's like probably my favorite actor. One of the greatest of all time for sure.

He's amazing. He's goaded. Yeah, he can play good. He can play evil. Yeah. He can play a Jamaican guy who says the N-word. So good. I like, true life.

Yeah, yeah. Have you seen that one? No, he plays... Dude, he has like Dredlon. He's like a white guy. I don't think he's Jamaican. He's white guy with Dredger says the N-word. Yeah, yeah.

He's just like a thugged out like... Oh, man. Where are we gonna get these bomb? Man, me name Arias Truman. I'm the one who launched the bomb. Yeah. Yeah, dude, he's sick as hell. That movie, that movie is awesome, Drew and romance. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

There was a really weird part of that movie where, like, the guy has, like, sort of a girlfriend kind of thing going on. And then the dad makes that with the girlfriend in one part. And I was like, is there more to this? And there's no more to it. Do you remember what I'm talking about? That's great. She's, like, being molested by your father, right?

I haven't seen it. No, maybe not. No, no, no, no. It was like, it's her boyfriend's dad who just starts making. an out on there. She's like, we can't do it. But then they just go back to the rest of the movie. I was like, that was fucking weird. I got to watch it again. In my mind, I was watching it with, that's wild. I was watching it

with my girlfriend's so hot. At the time my uncle. And I was like, well, you should do that. And you're like, the fucking uncle picked this movie. This is so weird. No, but in my mind, I was like, I see where this is going in the movie. He goes, no, that's irrelevant to plot. I was like, oh, I thought maybe they were like, this whole thing was a setup or something. Tarantino wrote it.

Yeah, yeah. A little freak, I guess. Yeah. Have you seen it? I love, love when they put stuff in that doesn't matter. Yeah, I like that. Did you watch season one Love is Blind? Do you remember this? I think about this once a month. Okay.

Where season one Love is Blind, they're all like, you know, matching up, all this stuff. Like episode three, all the dudes are sitting around in the, in like the common area. And the one guy goes, well, like, I mean, we've all been with women before. Is anyone here a virgin? And this one dude goes, I'm a virgin. And they're like, nice, nice. They never show that guy again. He's off the show.

They literally show him once. He never, they never, they show him one time where he admits he's a virgin, never again. Behind the scenes, they're just taking him out of the studio lot. Dude, about once. Yeah. Back in the head. They're like, yeah, you're done. We're going to do an eye test for this.

Look at, what's the top row say? ABC. Okay. Dude, once a month I'll Google like, where's the virgin from love. It's so funny. He probably didn't know that and he watches it on Netflix. And he's like, uh,

what the fuck? He's like, I got pussy at the end of the end of the end of the end of the end of the part where I get pussy. I got married, why did you cut that part out? His wife didn't know. You were ever. Fucking,

the, um, I don't have to tie everything down to Godzilla because I have so many ideas on it. The Godzilla episode. Yeah. Yeah, yeah. Gerzira. That's,

It's actually stands for a gorilla whale in Japanese. Oh, really? Yeah, yeah. I did that before the podcast. I was like, God, I hope we have stuff to talk about it. It's not I have to throw this back. It's a giant lizard. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

It has nothing to do with gorillas or whales. Well, that's the thing I don't really get either because it got awakened. Apparently, so I thought it was like radioactive from the bombs and that's a grew. But that's not what it is, man. Apparently, he's a prehistoric dinosaur who, like, lived, but the bombs woke him up. But I don't know where he was hiding. He was sleeping.

What lizards are in the bottom of the ocean? It's not like a lizard thing. Well, it could be like a dinosaur that like ended up on the bottom of the ocean from Pangia or something. Okay. I just wish somebody would explain the rest of this to me a little bit. I mean, you ever seen like rivers, like you see like a creek and you're like this used to be like water? You know, I mean, if you look at the New York, it used to be glaciers and stuff. It used to be like way, way taller and glaciers.

That's a good point. And then like iguanas, like you go to like Key Westers, there's iguanas everywhere. So maybe like it looks kind of like an iguana that may be like. I would think, yeah, I would think it was just like, you know, some kind of terrestrial thing that ended up on the bottom of the ocean. Like if you look at the bottom of the ocean now, there's probably like dinosaurs were going. is it? Yeah, this is what that's like.

Damn. I don't know enough about geology. I think it's fire breathing does come from the nuclear bomb though.

That makes sense. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So that makes sense. That adds up. Yeah, yeah, yeah. The science is there. And the only way

I didn't know this, but the only way to kill it is Frion, which is what my friends used to huff. You want Frion is? They huffed Frion? Dude. That's for air conditioners.

Oh, my God. No. Your parents come home. They're like, Why the fuck is in the AC working? Dude, this is Florida. That's what would fucking happen. So, like, it was so stupid.

So, it's insane. I was like the mom of my friend group. So, like, my friends would do certain drugs without telling me. Freon is crazy. Jesus. This is how crazy was. So, good Lord.

How you do it is you take a stick and you stab a certain area of the air conditioning vent. The valve, yeah. The valve. And you just huff it. That's crazy, dude. Yeah, and there would always be somebody's mom complaining. They're like, why don't we have air conditioning this week?

And then there's someone's like, uh, uh. They're like, oh, no, my God. The son's dead in the room. It's just Freon around his lips. They're like, yeah, fuck. Dude, one of my friends had to go to the hot. He fell back. He, like, hit his head.

This is probably the retard. Probably the best thing that could happen. He destroyed his brain. Like, that's so stupid. Yeah, what are those guys doing now? Now he has superpowers. So who's fucking idiot now? He breathes fire.

He's Godzilla now, actually. That's, uh, that's like all that huffing stuff. Like, bad. They had the computer cleaner was a big, thing for a while. Yeah, one of my friends pissed his pants on that. Wow. Yeah, I mean, that's the least of his concerns. Yeah. You ever see, like, what's it called? The addiction show on, like, on A&E. Intervention. Yeah. Have you ever seen the, like, the true life, I'm addicted. I'm an alcoholic. I'm addicted to heroin. Yeah. Those were, oh, my God, you can go deep and, like, find

them now. And yeah, it's so, you're like, oh, my God, how exploitative was this? And it is so good, The intervention, there's one for people who do duster and huff whatever, like computer cleaners. And there's this chick and it's like, Angela has been addicted to a duster for the last three years. And they're like, Angela, what is it? What's it like when you do duster? And then she like huffs to dust and she like, she says, I'm walking on sunshine. I'm walking on sunshine. I always thought it's got to be.

Oh, yeah. That was like the original meme. Yeah, yeah. I'm walking on sunshine. I've seen so many edits over. It's like, boom, that was the hardest DJ drop of 2003.

I'm working on Sunwrap. I'm working on Sunware. I always thought it's got to be so funny. There's certain drugs that when you're getting an intervention on, like Coke is different because you're probably all serious and stuff. But I just think about me being drunk. I've always said this before. I've always thought of like seeing my family leave me, but I'm wasted and just giggling.

Because like, yeah, that's the little one. Yeah, you got ice cream. Bring me back something. Yeah, dude. I mean, that's like, that's one of my favorite Louis bits about like being a romantic drunk. Oh, yeah. Showing up to your daughter's play like, you go, baby. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

That's my little girl. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That would be sick. Being a drunk would be awesome. Yeah, yeah. Just in a bathrobe with, like, fucking big stains. Oh, yeah. Waddle around the house.

That's the life. I saw a guy on like intervention or true life or something and he was down, he was doing like, uh, three fifths of vodka straight a day. Damn. And he didn't seem like fucked up because he just, wait, wait,

wait, three fifth. Oh my God. Like a fifth of like a jug, like a jug, like a jug of vodka. He was doing like multiple of those a day. Jesus.

And then he tried to stop and like had to go to the hospital. God. Because he, like, he had such bad withdrawals that he needed to be, like, hospitalized. Yeah. Which is such a funny, like, and then he got to get into Benz. Yeah. Yeah, dude.

Well, Benzos, you can die if you have a bad problem with. When you come off of them, too. Yeah. Yeah, yeah. Dude, I remember we had, we had someone on a podcast, and he was talking about how he, he knew he had a problem because he used to, like, he used to get fucked up. And then if he was super hungover, he would just go to the hospital.

And he would get, like, Xanax or Benx. or Benzos. And they would be like, I'm like withdrawing. I need like something. And then he would go out and drink again. He's like, yeah, dude,

it wakes you up, makes you feel great. And then you're like, I'm ready to booze it up again. Nice, man. That's a fucking, yeah, Benzo,

I worked at a weed store. I worked at like a dispensary. Yeah. And there was a lady who was such a problem. Like she was such a shithead. She was like the meanest crazy. lady. And she'd start crying and like yell at you.

And then one day she was like, I'm sorry. I can't, I, I bought X-withdrawing. I don't know. I'm so scared. Like, she was like just losing her mind. Like actively losing her mind. And she was trying to use weed to like wean off. And I'm like, this isn't gonna, you need like, you need a zanny.

Yeah. This isn't gonna help. You know what you need? More pills. You literally need more pills. And she was just like, and then she'd be like, fuck you!

And you're like, whoa. Whoa. Yeah. Don't fucking touch me! And you're like, holy shit, dude. Because imagine it was a problem. Years of anxiety just diminished

and then it all comes back. It's all, it's all piled up. Yeah, yeah. It's like there's a pot of your anxiety that's just feeling to the top. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah.

I mean, that's like booze. Every other time I get drunk, I wake up like, ah, ha, ha, dude, yeah. That's the worst, man. That is the worst part of my hangovers now. I'm like, oh my God,

what did I do? What did I do? What did I say? I'm just like thinking. I'm always so scared about what I said. Do people hate me now? It's the worst. Yeah, I'm so scared about what I say.

Like every other time I get, if I get like shit faced, I'm like, oh God. And then also Luke, it was funny. I would get drunk with Luke. Oh, yeah. And Luke is like, has like way more of a tolerance than I do. But we'd go drink for drink. I'd have like nine or 10 fucking draft beers.

He'd be like buzzed. Yeah. And I'm like blacked out. And he'd be like, dude, you are so retarded. last night. You were like, this is no, but I'm like, you remember everything.

You're like a sober guy. Yeah, you're like a sober guy. Yeah, yeah. I was like, oh my God, made me so upset. He's like,

he's like, you were like, oh, we're gonna be best friends. And I was like, what did I fucking do? I was just being nice, but like being absolutely.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Because I'm a great drunk. I'm just like a, I'm very nice person when I'm drunk. Yeah, I'm the same. But I'm like, cringy,

like, oh, yeah. You know, you're like grabbing, fucking the bouncer and like going, giving them a kiss.

Yeah. I'm the same. It's over the top. I wake up with dudes numbers. Yeah. Oh, dude. That's one of the fuck.

I've done that. Dude, one guy. That guy was awesome. We're starting to business. Dude, I got one. It was like Thomas,

Kansas, in parentheses, like Walker or something. I'm like, fuck yeah, dude. And the text is like, hell yeah,

brother. We went after it last night. Dude, you and me fucking we're gonna play, fuck it, we're playing pool tomorrow, right? Yeah, yeah. Can't wait to come on the podcast,

you're making promises that are insane. I'm like, dude, you're, you're, yeah, just like you work in a landscape, you'd be great.

Just like some random, they're just getting excited up. Yeah, dude, you're asking plumbers on the podcast. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. One time, one time in, uh,

Detroit, I did, no, it was Cleveland. I did the Cleveland Comedy Festival, and I went out with a buddy of mine who lives there

and his, like, very gay friend who worked at the best steakhouse in the city. Yeah. And we're like, we're all having fun that night. We're getting drunk.

And at one point, I'm like, this dude's definitely hitting on me. And he was like, give me your number. We're going to get. You're flying out tomorrow night. We'll go get lunch. I'll bring you to the steakhouse, blah, blah, blah. And then I was like, great, dude. I took his number.

I'm like, wasted. I'm like, yeah, this is awesome. Dude, I left that night. I texted him the next day. I was like, hey, we get in lunch. Dude, he ghosted me. What a piece of shit? He never responded.

Dude, he's like, I can't believe I asked that fucking straight guy to lunch. He's regretting it. He's like, oh, fuck, dude, that fucking bro-y-ass guy didn't even able to buy him a steak. I wanted to see his dick last night. I would have fucked you, buddy. I would have fucked you for filet mignon.

A nice porter house, you know? Yeah. It's so funny, like, you know, you're a kid. You're like, I'd suck a dick for like 100 grand. Yeah, it's like, no, I'd touch you dick for a fucking steak dinner. I'd fucking funnel a guy's balls for a fucking three-course. I'll just put my hand right there and look away.

Stakehouse, dude, absolutely, dude. I'm like, I'll get the bread pudding and a little The whiskey bread pudding and a little scoop ice cream. It's all about the sides, you know. Oh, yeah. And you can ice coffee on that. Oh, my God. Well, and I think things like... Oh, dude.

A little cream spinach or mashed potatoes, dude. Basically just butter. Butter. They do, you know, that's why the mashed potatoes are so good at steakhouses. They do one for one with butter and potato. That's why they're so good. That's why it fucking just knocks you out. A lot of these, they do like...

Yeah, you're dead after that. Two sticks of, like, a pound of butter and a pound of potatoes. Because every steakhouse, too, they always come on like a hot plate with butter surrounding it. Yeah. So you're doing that with butter. Yeah. And then they'll add, like, a butter sauce. Yeah.

You're like, I could see the clarified butter on top. Yeah. Well, give me two scoops of that. So fucking good. I love a steakhouse. What is the favorite place to eat? It really is. The ambiance is nice.

Everybody in the financial district? Harry's. No, I haven't. I gotta go there. I mean, it's ridiculous. I get, you know, I, I take my girlfriend there once a year or something like that. It's like insane. But like, it's like it's so good. And it's like this, it's like a dark basement in the financial district. And it's like open to like 1 a.m. I do. There's not a better than getting like a 1030 steakhouse res. Oh yeah. You already get a little drunk before and you walk in you're like, I'd get to pull high. The best one I've been to Hawksmore. Hawksmore in the city. It's great. I got to check it out. It's kind of like, I think like, uh, I think like, like easy.

East or West Village? Okay. West Village, maybe. There's a comment friend of mine from Jacksonville who moved here recently who works at a steakhouse. He's like, I'll hook it up if you come by. I'm like, I've got to do that. It's so funny too because I worked in a fondue restaurant.

I couldn't even get food there. And then somehow people were getting steakhouse, like, dude, I'll get my friends, freeze eggs. Well, there's probably the kind of thing where if you, like, you order a normal thing and they're like, oh, here's an extra side and a dessert and like a drink on the house. Like, you're not going to get like a comped meal, but like you'll get some little extras. Yeah, but it's like, dude, I worked at a sandwich shop.

half off sandwiches. Wouldn't even get a full free sandwiches. That sucks, dude. It's fucking insane. I've never worked at a restaurant. You're paying six bucks for a subway foot long. Yeah, like, what the fuck? What is this, dude? It's $5 but only for employees. Like, that's basically what it is. But, um, what was it? Dude, I, uh, last night I went on a date

and the fucking, the guy comes up, we order like two rounds of drinks and the guy goes, don't even worry about it. I'm like, what? He goes, yeah, man, I don't know, he's like, I wasn't, nobody's really paying attention. You guys kind of just walk out of here. I was like, are you fucking serious? That's wild. I was like, dude, let me give you, like,

I don't have to cash, let me get one drink, and I'll tip you heavily, please let me tip you. He's like, nah, brother, take it easy. Oh, wow. What a saint? What was this? What was this? I need to go.

Dude, there's just some random, I think it was called Treadwell or something like that. Okay, okay. How did the guy you're on a date with React to? No. Does he know you? Dude, I went to, um, I was going to say, I had something. Nah, I forget what it was.

Oh, I went, oh, this comic, he was like, quitting his restaurant job. And he was like, just come by. I'm just giving out free food. He just like handed it. Just like just threw shit out of it. I was like this is crazy. This is insane.

That's fucking awesome. It was like this, uh, Williamsburg, like fancy pasta restaurant. And it was like this like little like cute little thing. And there was like we went there early. We went there for like 435 o'clock. There was no one in there. And we said it felt like I was in like the Sopranos. Oh, yeah.

I was just like at an empty pasta restaurant just getting fed. Hey, so no fucking Ziti? So what now? No fucking beg Ziti? Well, that's so funny when they go, oh. What's he doing? You, shut the fuck up.

Shut the fuck up. Yeah, dude. That also happens at restaurants because, like, what happens is like most jobs, people are like, okay, I want a recommendation. Most restaurant jobs end with somebody being like, fuck you, you piece of shit manager. There's every, like 90, okay, I believe in what I'm saying here. 90% of people who run a restaurant are pieces of shit.

Yeah. Have you been in that industry that, like, long and you don't do anything else with your life. You're like, okay, what the fuck is going on? It doesn't apply to you, Blake, my old boss, but he's a good guy. But they're like, like the amount of stories I've heard and just working and shit, you're like, this is crazy. Dude, if you're managing like a chain restaurant.

Yeah, yeah. You fucked up. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Like, you're a con. You're like a felon. Yeah. If you're like, yeah, dude, I worked up my way up to manage your at this Chili's. For them, though, it's like, hey, this is a fucking top of the ladder.

They're making like 18 bucks an hour in Kissimme, they're at. Absolutely crushing. Killing it. Absolutely crushing. There was a guy. All the benefits. My favorite. Free McDonald's,

anytime you want, dude. Free fries for your friends. I wish that was like a viable option in life was just to have a fucking normal job. Yeah. I mean, very much is. It's not though, dude.

Like to live here, I guess you'd have to have roommates, but like to have a family. Oh, yeah, yeah. You couldn't just manage an applebees here and have a family. No, no, no, no, no. You have to live in like, Long Island.

Ozone Park, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Well, that is always a crazy part. to me. It's like, there's a lot of people that, like, they've lived here for so long, but I'm like, dude, if you're a CVS employee here, you could be a CVS employee in Orlando, Florida, and live a way better life. Yeah, much better life. But the moving might be at that. I don't know. That weed dispensary job was like the best job I've ever had. Not ever had.

And I made 15 bucks an hour plus 100 bucks in tips a week. And I was like saving tons of money. That's great. Because my rent was $400. And I didn't have any bills other than, yeah. food and rent. Dude, that is great. To work that now, I've noticed all, like,

the fast food workers, all like the minimum wage kind of workers that live in New York, they all work like Union Square, Phi D-Di-DIC, they all live in the Bronx. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's like an hour and a half commute

to, like, work at a McDonald's. Yeah. They take the fucking four for 12 hours a day. Yeah. Dude, and then working to McDonald's in the city, some of them have security guards.

You see that? Yeah, yeah, yeah. I tried to do a joke about that. It did not whatever work, but you guys are going to say it sucks. But I was like, dude, that's like the greatest job ever. It's like he's just watching for the hamburger. That's great, dude.

That's the whole joke. That's funny. You're just like, I'm just looking out for the hamburger. There's people beating the show of each other. He's like, this isn't the real. All right, well, yeah, that homeless guy can jack off there, but I'm just watching for the hamburger. Yeah, there's a guy rubbing shit in the bathroom on the walls, but we're good. I remember, like, being briefly pissed that they were like, we don't let anyone use the bathroom in an East Village,

McDonald's, the one by Sixth Street. Yes. Or a 7th Street. Yeah. And I was like, you know what? This makes perfect sense. I don't know what the fuck I'm mad about. Of course they don't let anyone in the back. Makes sense. Yeah, what the fuck is going on in that bathroom? There's like terrible things. There's fucking babies being born.

There's just fetuses. There's drugs, babies, and fecal matter. So 14-year-old from the Bronx is just sweeping up fetuses into a tray. Puscento, what do we do with this? He's like, man, fun this percent of man. I rode the train and hour half of sweep up motherfucker percent of man. Shit.

We got to lock this bitch up. One of the things I hate when security guards don't do their job. Like I had a thing recently where there was a crazy guy outside of this comedy club and was scaring customers away. And the security guard goes, there's nothing I can do.

I go, what are you talking about? Your job is like to get. get people. It's like, I've had a homeless guy pull a knife on me and the security showed up late. And then the security shows up, he goes, there's this Russian guy. He goes, you tell the guy come back. Tell him pull knife again. Tell him. That's what you need. Bring him back here. I would love to see knife. Yeah, yeah. And I was like, that is a security guard right there. That's a good guy right there. I was visiting New York. Yeah, yeah. It's such a funny story. Dude, there's this guy. It was funny to me because I didn't live here. And because he's barking on the corner

of Greenwich Village, West Side Street, McDougal. And this guy comes up, this crazy-looking homeless guy. And he's got a huge piss stain going down his disgusting sweatpants. And I'm like, I think it's funny. And then he goes, he comes up to us and he goes, Boy's night. What?

Yeah, boys night. Just boys are not. And I was like, hell yeah, brother, boys night. And he's like, ah. And he gets out of there. And I'm like, that guy's hilarious. And he goes, he pulled a knife on me last. I was like,

Boy's night, what that? He seems like a good guy. He's what are you talking about? Let's get his number. Let's hang out with him, dude, boys night. I'm sure he's got an iPhone, you know? Yeah, I'm sure. Making a ton of money.

You see a fucking homeless, dude. A lot of them have phones, which I get. I was like, I took a picture and I looked at this random Android charging in the thing, and this homeless guy goes, hey, that's mine. I said, I'm sorry. He goes,

You can take pictures. But don't you touch my shit. I was like, dude, I am so sorry. That was so funny for almost guy to be like, I know you want to, you want a picture of me. I'll do, I'll do,

but it was just crazy because it was just like in the, like there's like a, what's it called like a, you know, a plug like like eight feet up in the air on the subway platform and he's got it in the rafters charging

and I'm like, this is crazy. Yeah, they just charging their phone at the subway platform. I went should have been like, no shit. it's a homeless guy. I'm fucking idiot. The shit that happens is crazy with home. I went and saw the tree last night.

I went and saw the tree. Yeah, you know, just fucking saw it, whatever. And I'm walking around. Dude, and across the street, they got like Saxon Fifth Avenue and they got all the window displays. Yeah. Dude, it was wild to me. We're walking by and like looking at the windows and stuff.

And there's just a homeless guy just full out, like camped out in front of one of the windows. Dude, everybody's taking pictures, just standing over him. And I was like, this is horrific. this is horrible. This is like, yeah, someone just take a picture of this and put it in some sort of art museum. Yeah. The evils of capitalism or something. It's so funny too because you're... Homeless guy and you're like,

oh, well, they're... You're sketchers. You can't exploit it if you make it look artistic. You know what I mean? It's like, the second you take a picture of a homeless guy, it's like you're a piece of shit. But it's like, and you know, maybe if you draw like a little hat on them or something, it's like that's fucked up. But if you make the picture black and white and say like capitalism, then it's like...

Yeah, yeah, yeah, then it's like real. Yeah. One guy fell, my favorite though, I want to say this real quick. guy fell asleep in front of my building one time when I first moved here and he fell asleep with his pants down in the goat position. So like literally his balls. His balls was so long. I'm walking up. You see ass cheek, pants down. You're looking at the backside of him and his balls are like almost like a figure eight. Like one ball is twisted on the other and I'm like Jesus Christ. Have you ever seen someone shitting? Yeah, yeah. I saw this one guy. I thought, I thought, no, actually the weirdest thing I saw was somebody, I thought they were just pissing water because I know their diets

aren't the best. But I see this guy with his pants pulled down like manginaing. So his dick's tucked between his legs and he's peeing against a wall. Backwards. Because in my mind, he's like, he's like, well, it's a crime to show your penis to people. I was like, this is way more offensive than you being. This is you now tucking and peeing. Yeah, it looks like you're peeing out of your asshole. Yeah. Show us your cock. Yeah, yeah. Dude, I called, I called the police once like for like a well-being check on someone. It was this summer. Super one of those really hot days, you know? Yeah. And this, this lady

and guy were both like passed out on the sidewalk and people were just stepping over them, like walking by. And it was right, it was in the East Village. So it's like, yeah, this is, you know, normal behavior, whatever. But they were passed out. It's hot as fuck. There's something's beating on them. I called the police. I was like,

hey, I just want to report like a well-being check on these people. Like, I don't know if they're alive even. Like, they look they're, I'm assuming on drugs, but they might be dead. It's so hot. Dude, the cops could not care. No.

They were like, are you still there? Can you check their pulse? And I was like, I'm not touching them. I'm already gone. I'm gone. I just want to put a call in. Hey, just the feeler. Did you poke it with a stick?

Yeah. Like, can you nudge it with your foot? And I'm like, it? Okay. Put their hands in cold water, warm water, if they pee. That's right. Well, it's like,

Tickle them with a feather. Put them with cream on the head. Tickle them with a feather. Put shaving cream in their hand. They're a fucking classic. It's a win-win. They're alive and you get a fun little prank. Dude, one time they tried to do that to me

at a sleepover. I'm like the worst person ever to be woken up. I'm like such a bitch. I'm such a cunt. If you wake me up, like, I'm like, I'm just like go full like seeing red. And they did that to me with like the feather. And I just fully woke up.

And this is like, I'm 12 years old at a sleepover. I fully woke up and they also like rang this bell or whatever something to be annoying and I fully woke up and just started punching one of my friends over

and over it over. Dude, I had that in college. Someone like woke me up. Someone woke me up with like shaving cream and it wasn't even, it was on like a Tuesday. It was on like we're not even drinking. And I remember like they woke me up

with shaving cream. I woke up all of them. Dude, I saw red. I just like I grabbed like one of my buddies like the first week. He's like, it wasn't even me. I was like, I was just like punching him, dude.

Oh, I was so mad. Yeah, dude, that's exactly what happened to me. I punched my friend Cameron. He goes, it wasn't it. Yeah. What would be a funny one is to... I'm sitting up, fucking message. Yeah, this is a message to all you other bitches.

Don't have a fuck with me all fuck of sleeping. Well, I was thinking, a funny one would be just fully shaving somebody's face. Like, somebody who has a beer, they just wake up and they're like, what the fuck? If they were like shit-faced. Yeah. Like, give them like a really nice haircut. Like a Hitler. Dude, how long would it take?

take to notice. You're just like, what the fuck? You go through your whole day. You don't even notice. You're looking great. Yeah, people are complimenting you. Thank you. Thank you very much. Dude, I think I got proposition last night, by the way. I just remember this. By a by a prostitute. A street prostitute.

I was waiting to walk into a bar and I'm like, standing outside. This lady, big, large black woman is like, excuse me, excuse me. And I was like, I thought she was on the phone. like Bluetooth or something. And I was like, I was like,

oh, I took my, I was like, are you talking to me? And she goes, yeah, baby. I go, what's,

what's up? I thought she needed directions. And she's like, well, she doesn't need direction. Yeah, she does. She needs a lot of direction.

She's like, oh, you need a date tonight, baby? And I go, I, I, no, no, no, no.

Ew. Dude, I walk in, she starts following me in. She's like, come on, you're cute. I like you.

I was like, I, I don't. Dude, I would love to bring a hooker to, like, a serious event. Like, you know, one of those things, like, just, I, I, there's something about me that loves just being like, fuck you. You know what I mean? It's like, my parents have a nice Christmas party.

Just me, like a clear process. Disgusting process. Yes, like, 50 years old. Tasha, she's put your arm around. She's like, it's more for touching, Michael. Yeah. I'm, like, laying out money on the table. Like, with them, I'm like, hang on, mom and dad.

3.72? Are you sure you said 75? I think you said 75? too. Hey, bitch, this is what I got. You're smoking inside your parents' house. She's like, can I smoke crack in here? Yeah, of course. Yeah.

Do you guys get asked for directions a lot? Yeah, yeah. Someone asked me... I was wondering if I was special. I almost got robbed at that recently. There were some kids. They had masks on, and they were all wearing, like, masks. Like, some of them ski masks, some of them COVID masks.

White guys? No. Okay. I just assumed. Yeah. You're a good guy. You're a good guy for assuming. A lot of black kids with masks.

I feel like black people did not stop the masks. No, no, yeah. Or not other than white people. I don't know why that is. But the kids, they go, they're like, do you know how to get to hair the dog? I was like, I actually used to live there. So you go right down here and take a left?

They're like, can you show me on maps on your phone? I was like, nope. My phone's about to die. I was like, I'll tell you, you just keep walking straight and then you take a left. It's like, I give them exact directions. They're like, yeah, but I think it would really help if we could see it on your phone. Get out of here.

Get out of here, dude. Yeah, my mind. I was like, is that racist? I was like, nah. No, they're going to snatch your fucking phone. I gave him clear directions on where to go. I don't have a phone, dude. Sorry.

I'm off the grid, babe. Yeah, no, I get asked for... They're like, now we're going to beat the shit of you because you're lame. Dude, this guy asked me for directions the other day, and he was French. Do I tell you the story? No, no. Oh, yeah. Wait, no, tell it, yeah.

Well, yeah, sorry if I told this already, but it was like, dude, he asked me for directions and he's, like, clearly super French. And then I'm, like, trying to yell at him in English. I was like, I took him. three years in French in high school. You're like, yeah, directions. Get on a plane and go back to Paris. French fry.

Go back to France, you frog. No, I was literally could have said like three words in French that would have communicated what I was trying to do. But I kept being like, go with me. Come with me. I can say go with me in French. And he's like, and then he goes the wrong way. Dude, someone asked me for directions recently.

I was outside of Grand Central. Or no, the bus terminal. What's the bus terminal in New York? Port Authority. Port Authority. I was outside of Port Authority. And this family is like, do you know where we get the bus to New Jersey? And I'm like outside there.

I was like, no. But you know what? That guy would. Right? Like, why would you ask me and not the guy inside? Yeah, yeah. You should have a point to a homeless guy. This guy knows what's going on.

See that piss on his pants? He knows where to get. That's a map. That's a Jersey guy right there. Dude. What was I saying? This is totally off topic. But you guys saw the Kanye thing, right?

What, his new song? No, the Klan thing? No, what happened with the Klan? Dude, okay. So Kanye just did like an album release party where he's wearing a black clan hood. Is that what that was? I saw the album release thing.

I saw some songs. And apparently he said, I just fucked a Jewish bitch. No. Which is, wait, let me pull us up. Yeah, I got to see it. Did you see the interview he gave? I don't even know when it was. was when it was from, but he's like talking about how he got diagnosed, you know, his bipolar.

And he's like, you know, I had a doctor, the medical community. I had him diagnosed me. I think they did it wrong. And I can't say, I can't say what he was, but he diagnosed me incorrectly. And then there's a pause and he goes, he was Jewish. Yeah, yeah, yeah. He has a little hand thing. It's so funny, dude.

Whoa. I will say this. Oh, my God. there's always people saying, oh, you know, black guys can pull off anything and make anything look cool. They can make a clanhood look fucking cool. It's like literally like the things you think are be impossible. You're like there's no. Yeah, you're like, there's no way that Kanye can make a clanhood.

It looks fucking cool. Dude, that's like a, that's a theory about Kanye though is like inside his mind. He's made so many things that aren't cool, cool. Yeah. That like, that was where he like took it a step too far. People say it with like Trump. Like in the maga hats, they were like, he's trying to make Trump cool. Like, he's trying to make the red hat cool.

I mean, yeah. Obviously, dude. Obviously. Tony could wear a fucking diaper and be like, this is what we're doing. We're wearing diapers now. It's fucking sick. Yeah. 2024, baby.

I don't know. The thing is like, yeah, it is ridiculous because I'm listening to like the songs. Like they keep coming up on my TikTok, you know, videos of the party and like the album release party. And they're not that good. The songs? They were like, they were like pretty. mediocre at talk. And then all

of the comments were like, album of the year. Like, you have listened to a snippet from TikTok that doesn't sound that good. Yeah. And you're like, album of the year. I'm like, you're like, you're like such a drone. Is he promoting it on InfoWars? That'd be sick. That's where he promoted. It's awesome, dude. Dude, that was, and also

it's like one of those things too, it's like, I think if you're black, you absolutely have the right to be mad at Kanye for wearing a clan thing. But I think it's... If you're white, you have to celebrate it. Yeah, I agree. But I think it's one of those things, too, it's like some people are owning, like, it's like outcast would wear Confederate flags, but that was to be like, fuck you. So I think if he made a clear message and was like, oh, this is me reclaiming it. Yeah.

Then, but you have to like say that, I guess. But it's also like, there's some- He's too psychotic to ever make a salient point. That's a good point. But performance arts always, like, I've always like left a little room for that because it's like, I mean, Manson would wear like, Marilyn Manson, great guy. Oh, I was going to say Charles Manson. Great guy. Yeah.

But he would wear like, he's a rapist. Yeah, but he would wear like crazy shit too. and everybody was cool with him wearing like his own version of like a Nazi member because he's like no I changed the he's not like wearing swastika he's like no it's a different kind of design

that's what Charles Maylon Manson? Yeah yeah yeah yeah it's entertaining for me I'm like visually this stuff is interesting to see dude it's also crazy that the rape is the thing that took him down not like all like the satanic

everyone's like he's such a fucking weird out dude early 2000s late 90s and stuff but that was like kind of like you know that's kind of like counterculture and edgy it's like whatever but raping a person and it's just a crime. Hey, hey, hey.

It's not mainstream. It is rapist counterculture. It is not. I did try to do a bit like that about like the hipster pedophile. Okay. Oh, you guys are fucking adults. It was just 2008? That's the whole bit.

And it was like, I'm kind of going to end up kids or whatever. People hated it. I don't even have a TV. Well, and the man's the thing was so funny too when he first came out. because he was like, there was all these religious groups protesting him and he's like, I don't even see the big deal. It's like, why can't we all live in harmony? And you see his concert, he's like, the Bible's like, the Bible's like,

he's like, pissing on the Bible, like, shitting on a priest and you're like, yeah, I guess, man. Yeah, it's like, and I find that entertaining and cool. Like, that's fun to watch. Yeah. But I get why, but now you're acting like there's no reason for the churches to be, like, upset. No, they should be livid. Yeah, yeah. No, but the thing, yeah, that was fun. Jared Moore, I'm pretty sure

he had a bit about Marilyn Manson when he got accused of rape. That was so fun. funny, he was like, you know, what, that guy? It seemed like such a good guy. It's just shocking. This is crazy. His defense should have been, I could suck my own dick. So I would have a mouth attached to my own dick.

Oh, yeah. Oh, my God, dude. The devil-worshipping psychotic guy. Who sucks his own dick? He was lying down with ladies. He was great, dude. Oh, my God. He seemed like such an upstanding citizen.

What happened to him? Did he ever, like, go to court for it? I had no clue. I honestly don't know. I just noticed he was accused. That's crazy. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Well, it was weird to... Canceled. The sucking dick thing was funny too because I think that was the one thing that actually was incorrect because that's my favorite interview ever where the person's like,

so is it true, you got your ribs removed to give yourself fallacious. He goes, I want to be here right now if I could suck my own dick. That's great. Which is the greatest shit to ever say. It's a great line. That's very funny.

Yeah, Mike, that's like, we are a... We are running out of time. Yeah, I got to go soon. Yeah, yeah, yeah, let's wrap it up. All right. Everybody just want to promote? Rough week podcasts.

Troublemakers podcast out every Wednesday. At Dylan Krasinski on Instagram, YouTube, all that stuff. Yeah. Rough week on YouTube. YouTube. Oh, this is the 200th episode, by the way. Whoa! Yay!

That's crazy. You've been doing this for like three plus years? Yeah, I know, right? You think I have more of an audience. No, that's not what I meant. No, no. To be fair, one year, I did two episodes a week, so it's less than... Oh, okay, there you are.

Well, you're committing to it. Wow. So way longer years then. No, two a week. Two a week. Yeah, yeah. So it's been like, yeah, yeah. Not once every two weeks.

Biweekly could mean every other week or twice a week. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, but do this for nine years, yeah. Thank you. I started right after Rogan. Yeah, yeah. Peace. All right, thanks guys.

Thank you.