Morning Good - We're On The Same Wavelength - Episode 155

Episode Date: February 8, 2023

Paddy Defino and James Donlan return to the show for today's episode. They talk about condescending British comedians, having a retractable penis, and the Chinese spy balloon.Thanks to Paddy and James for coming back on the show. Check them out at their links below and keep scrolling through Morning Good episodes for more great ones featuring these two.James is on Instagram @jamesdonlon_, and hosts a call-in show Sundays at 8 on Radio Free Brooklyn. Paddy is on Instagram as well @paddy_is_funky and reads the news from bed every day from TikTok.As always, find Michael Good on Instagram @michael_good1125 and on Twitter @agoodmichaelThis podcast was produced by Paxton Fleming, you can find him on Instagram @yaboypax 

Thanks for the F-Shack. I love dirty mic and the boys. Hey, are you dirty mic and the boys? How you know who we are? What's this? They called the podcast? Morning good. I love that.

Yeah, it's me with the boner on the front. Welcome to morning. And we all sound terrible. James Dolan, I did forget your name. For a second, dude. He was like, like, talk. Patty? Patty. Patty, you're here? I think we're all, dude.

I have a shower, I've brushed my teeth. I'm hung over. I'm sweaty. I'm going with his beard, and it's not like, I don't think it's like a fun look. Bad time. No. Dude, it's beard dandruff season. You can't wear black.

I got like parmesan cheese all over me. Oh, yeah. Yeah, dude, it all falls out. You're fucking, you don't even get it, dude. I don't even know the ways of beard. I hide my face, dude. This is my, this is my, but yeah, it gets all over here. You pick little beards out of your teeth.

When I used to wear the mask, the worst. Yeah. You look like you're about to, like, disassemble a base amp. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. He's wearing all black and you've got the burglar. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Also, me and him are from Florida, so we don't know how to dress cold. Yeah, dude, I was trying my best.

No. I thought burglars looked warm. You guys just wear, like, 13 t-shirts. Yeah. I'm wearing sweatpants underneath my jeans. Well, I woke up at, like, 6 a.m. this morning. I had to go to work really early, and it was like two degrees this morning. I got the wool socks and then the long johns.

How do homeless people survive this? They don't. They die. They die. They die. They die. They die. This is their COVID.

Yeah. When they're not actively, like, having crack running through their bloodstream. Yeah, is that good for them? I think so. That's why they get into it to survive the winter. They're like, as a cost to survive my lifestyle. Yeah, I got to smoke crack. Yeah, the last season of Man versus Wild got a little crazy.

But that's, I think they drink a lot too. That warms you up. Yeah, that's supposedly supposed to help. I like, you say, I think they drink a lot. As if it was like something that, like, wasn't just what they do all the time. Yeah. There is like a moment you have, like, when you drink heavy and you go to brunch and you go out to brunch and you get super fucked up. And then you like step into the street. It's like one in the afternoon. Oh, it feels nice. Cars are like zooming by. You're like, whew. And then like a homeless guy comes out of like a dumpster like holding a 40 and you're like, oh, we're on the same wavelength.

We're the same guy. You're in the same party. You're doing brunch as well. Yeah. I had half a banana. I found it in a trash can. Oh, breakfast marks. He went to his house. Now you're partying with him, dude. He's like, no, I just siphoned gas out of a moped. Smoke that. Put that in your pipe and smoke it. Some gas, dude.

Dude, there is like, I love, I mean, I can't day drink anymore with comedy, like, in all. Like, I just never day drink. No, you can't. But there's, it feels so nice to be so fucked up when everybody else is, like, trying to be in it. Like, you go to the store and the guy's, like, you're just laughing at the store clerk for, like, no reason. Because you're hammered and he's working. And you're like, ha. Ha ha.

Yeah. It's like a little thing where he's like, do you want a bag for that? You're like, you're like, you're like, you're like, you're like, you're like,

you're like, and there's nothing more annoying, like, especially like when, like, bark and you got like fucking, dude, you have like people that are like,

comedy show? No. Ha, ha ha. Drunk people laughing at you is the worst because it's like, you're like, you're having so much fun,

but it's at my expense. Yes. Like I've taken on the position of somebody offended by a joke just by people being mean when I was barking. trying to sell tickets. Because it's like that, that just feels so, like, the laughter adds to it.

Because I think it's like, something's offensive. There's things offensive and people feel like they're laughing at you. People get so just like. Yeah. I think that's where like all racism towards white people stems from. What? When white people are drunk. Yeah, yeah.

Sover white people are fun. Like, I bet they came up with the idea for slavery when they were fucking drunk. See, remember those fucking black guys? What if they carried our shit? What if we just took them? Like just grabbed them? Put them on a boat. Put them on a boat.

I got a boat. The guy just wants to use his boat. Yeah. I need a reason to use the boat. We can't fit... We can fit so many people out of them. Yeah, those boats were just made for cramming people on a deal. Yeah.

Or I think they were made for like... Not good for much else, I'll tell you. No. No, that would be a shitty cruise. Yeah. You've been on a cruise? Yeah. Really? I guess I don't really leave that up here. I've been on cruises. I fucking hate him. I went to one. It was just so rocky.

And I liked it. That's why I was mad about it. I'm like, it's the ocean. It's not flat. Yeah, yeah. Where did it go from? From Miami to the very end of Mexico. Not like the very end. Like the barely the tip of Mexico. Like just the least Mexican part of Mexico. Like we went to like a senior frogs. And we're like, who is this? The most Mexican restaurant of all. Then we walked like 10 feet outside of senior frogs and some guy offered me his sister for like a couple pesos. Oh, sick.

What? Yeah, he's like, my sister? And I'm like, no, I don't think so. Why would you deliver it as your relative? Yeah, right? This woman is like, trust me. I know he's the best person. She's just like me.

You think I'm cute? I know you think I'm cute. You can't have these. You somehow gay but not offering himself. He's like, you can't have these. I keep my. I came out a whole tie for my boyfriend. You can have none of this, but you can find

my sister. He'll sell his sister. He takes out his penis. He's like, imagine me he's put my sister. You get in there, it's just him in a wig. You're like, hey, what's so cold? Come on. He's son of a bit. Maybe it looks stupid.

The oldest trick in the book. The oldest trick in the Libro. I think that's book. Yeah, it's book. I know enough spent. Oh, I had. this thought the other, because I was like, I heard these like two like Swedish people talking and they were like talking in English. So I thought they were like practicing English.

Yeah. Because the one lady was like, oh my gosh, it's so cold out. And the other one, Aaron came in through the window. The other guy literally goes, you need a hat. It's so cold. It's like that count Dracula and Sesame. Street. Oh, some of ones. Yeah.

Something like, but I had the real, I was like, I, you never see, like, other people practicing English,

really. Yeah, yeah, yeah. They either just don't use it or they, uh, are like pretty fluent at it, you know?

Right. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So, you still go to a grocery store in New York and no one spoke English. I mean, they spoke a little bit of English, but I,

oh, really? They would, like, I had to learn, like, not, not Spanish words for produce, but the way they would say produce in their accent. So this one guy was like, get,

Estrobert. And I'm like, what is Estrobert? I don't know what that is. He's not working today. You know what's also funny? People get really mad when you don't pronounce their foreign names, right? Correctly, they'd be like, no, no, it's not Andre. It's on day.

It's like, look, my mouth can't make that sound. It's also like, if anybody, a foreign guy was like, I'm, makeo, and I went, actually, it's Michael. I would look like the biggest fucking asshole. It's like, that's the same equivalent, because that's a different language. and I don't know how to say a name in a different language. So if you don't speak English, how much of a dick is it for me to now go, like,

no, that's not how you pronounce Mike Cole. It's because some people get so cut up on like the little things like that. I don't want to do a little voice. It's not Andres, it's on Dries. And I'm like, it's, okay. I'm reading it how it's, yeah. You know, like a lot of comics don't care about that, which is nice. Yeah, yeah.

But you should know comedian's names. I forget who, there was this one Indian comic and I had to bring them up at St. Mark's one time. That's my biggest fear. And I'm just like the whole, I'm like sweating. while he's on stage. You can always nail the first name, and then the last name's tough. You're like Vishnu, okay, I can nail that.

So I nailed the first name, and I just forgot his last name. So it's like, all right, now you're digging into the archive of your brain where it's like, what's the most Indian sound name? Well, you should do, you should go Vishnu, and then be like, there's no way there's no Vishnu on this lineup.

So I should be fine if I know the first name. Bring him up, like, Ichero. Ichiro! No last name? I do, when I host my open. and Mike, like, I'll lean in and I'll be like, how do you pronounce your name? Like, try to get it right. And they'll say it. And I'll go, and I won't remember it every time.

Every time I forget it. So I'm like, fucked it. Yeah. It's impossible. One time I brought up the wrong person because I was like, the guy was in the room and he was like an Indian guy and I didn't know how to pronounce his name. So I literally pointed to Malia Simon. And I go, Malia Saiman.

And I was like, oh my God, I didn't see that you were in the room, but I completely saw his room. I drew a blank so far that I was like, I could not. You gave me a week. I couldn't figure out this guy's name. And I was just like, I was like, Malia. And I was like, oh, shit, dude, I thought, I, are you sure you're? So this is a trend.

You forget people's names a lot? Yes. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, dude. Okay, so I feel better about that. Dude, I'm so bad at it. Yeah, yeah. Dude, every time you learn a new comic, you forget an old comic. Yeah, yeah.

Hopefully they die. Yeah. There's like a, there's like 75 open mic comics who do not belong in my brain. Yeah. But they're going to be there for a long time. Yeah. Let me name them. Yeah.

yeah so dude the balloon the balloon by the balloon by the way I preface this whole morning by texting you guys like I was like I'm so hungover I please bring something to talk about but this is Patty shot back he's got something in the chamber

well hold on let's not build this up too much because I really don't no nobody really knows by the way I just described how my my hands are sweating so much right now I just feel horrible you're nervous no I'm just hung over and I feel like shit I haven't drag it in a full month

And then I just started drinking again because Bradenjew is over. And my brain is not prepared for it. How does it feel? Do you feel like somebody dehydrated my brain? It seems like somebody like literally took all the liquids

out of my brain and I was just trying to... You know SpongeBob when he's on the fucking thing? Yes. And the lamp and they're just dying. That's how I feel right now. After only like six beers. I lie.

It's nine. Something divisible by three. My dad listens to this podcast now so I'm like, let me sound like less of a piece of shit. They're like, no, I'm not about it. But, um, the balloon.

Yeah, so I'm sure you guys are privy to this much information, but there was a Chinese spy balloon that drifted across the Pacific Ocean. Right, it's a lanterns. It's part of their holiday, right? That's what it kind of looks like. Yeah, yeah. But, by the way, that would have been a great disguise.

Why didn't they just be like, no, it's Chinese New Year? Just a dragon floating. Yeah. That's sick. Yeah, what a great celebration. But it did have like a, like, it looked like a satellite at the bottom. Oh, for sure. Yeah.

It was like quite obviously like picking up information. But it floated through California than like Montana and like it eventually basically it went across the entire country and we're just sitting there like what do we do? Yeah. Like we should shoot this down because this is in our airspace. Yeah. Who knows what the fuck they're doing with it. But they ended up waiting till it got literally like maybe an hour ago it got shot down

in the Atlantic. Right. And there was just like a puff of smoke. Do they want to make sure there wasn't a person inside it? They wanted to make sure it didn't land. What if just like 40 Chinese kids? They were escaping. No!

Get out of your kids, go! You got to escape the factory. Okay, sweet. Spive. And the whole time they're floating across, they're like, all right, anytime now they're going to drop us out. It's like the Chinese version of Up. It's like an old man who finally got his dream.

Yeah. Yeah. Why do they wait that long? I was so confused by that. Because I guess, I guess, they didn't know it was in it and they didn't know if it would hurt civilians when it landed because

they had to wait for it to cross like a very shitty part of town. And they're like these people don't matter. It goes by Detroit. They're like, all right, yeah, we'll fucking. It just goes over Flint, Michigan. I think we go now. So, but the, here's like the annoying thing

is it literally drifted across like, like, spots where we like hold nuclear arms. and missiles. Oh, that's bad. Like, it literally drifted over and they're like, I don't know. And then we asked China, we're like, what's going on here?

And they're like, stop making a fucking big deal. It's a mistake. Who gives it? But like, then there was another one in last. And it's like, what kind of balloon just drifts across like the exact, like, what's going on over here? Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's just very, but they just shot it down.

I don't think it's strange. I think it's obvious. Yeah, it's obvious. But I guess. We should it down to it. They're probably streaming stuff back to a computer. Yeah, but then the conversation is like, what can a balloon with like a satellite pick up that just normal satellite imagery can't? Because like Google Maps, you can see everything, dude.

If you whip your cock out and lay in the street, they're going to know your length, your girth. Yeah, every all this. What STDs you have. Yeah. So there was that fake, do you remember that fake Google Earth? There was like a body being dragged. Like you look up like certain coordinates and it literally was like a guy at like a pier and then just like a, a body. going across.

It was one of those early internet things. Oh, okay. Do you think maybe not early internet? It was when the internet picked up like peak internet

in my opinion. Yeah. 2000, or maybe eight or nine. 10. Yeah. That's what it. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. So I was like, I don't know who Ray J.

Or Kim Kardashian are. But I know now. But let me, I like that. People said that was like shitty whatever. But I like that like, like,

have you seen the whole thing? Uh, I've seen the whole... It's like an hour long while he doesn't? Maybe. I don't really remember but it's like an hour long

and it keeps cutting between first of all it's shot by Ray J so he's mostly just like yo look how big my fucking guy which is what A black guy is still surprised in how big his dick

is he's like holy shit there's still more dick so it's a lot of that and then like him turn into himself like it's like dude put it back on the woman but I like that it's cut

with like it'll be like a shot of like them in a hotel and her kind of like flirtily like calling him over and then it just cuts to like the Kardashian sisters like walking through the mall and it's like wait a minute what like we're getting like

glimpses into the but I like that about porn yeah yeah yeah I think there should be like commercials kind of sometimes you get so ahead of yourself then you don't see the whole fucking thing right right you can build a story you can kind of get the viewer going in like a way it probably

is a better orgasm James are you encouraging me to edge I'm cursing you to produce pornography. Yeah. Yeah, I wonder if now the celebrity text tapes are going to be sick because iPhones are so good, but none of them fucking drop. Everybody's so careful about it. Yeah. Or they just have an only fan, and they just like

do the customized content shit. But that's not really like a celebrity. Yeah, there hasn't been like a A-list celebrity being like... Yeah. Also, it's always like really, because it's always intentional. Like, does it ever happen by accident? Did they get like... Pamela Anderson's got stolen. Oh, that was like a while ago. That was like the 90s or whatever. Yeah, yeah, yeah. got stolen and then it was like distributed online illegally.

Yeah. Like that's like a crime. Yeah. Was hers just on like a VHS? I think it might have been streamed too. It might have been like an early like thing. I don't really remember. But I know there was.

Tommy Lee drives a boat with his dick, right? Yeah. They're on a boat for a part of it. And he uses it as a like a rudder. No, no, no, no. In the water. He's just like tipping it. Yeah.

Oh, no. He puts his dick on the steering. Yeah. Wow. He could probably, he could, they probably have her tits float and then him just wave his in the back and make a boat. Like in these

sad on their back. Yeah. And they get in their mom. Yeah. If I have to survive on a desert idol, I'm bringing Pamela Anderson and Tommy Lee

so I can float to save me. What happens to wait? If you die, do you're fake tits just like stay there? Like are there me and my friends have always discussed this.

Like is it just like a pile of ash? I picture's like, are you all just like, oh, this is nice. Look at these tides. I don't know why. A thousand years from now they're still British guys.

And they're all. horny. That's why they're archaels. They love dead chicks. These chicks are fucking busted. I love that idea. A guy who's so proud of he's like, bro, there's so many of them, bro. You never run out of dead chicks, man. Yeah. Nobody's missing him.

Yeah. You can just do whatever you want. You know what they don't do? They don't yap. Yeah. That's what I prefer. We should start a, like, a charity where we recycle dead women for perverts to have sex with? Body parts. To give to live women? Yeah.

Yeah, because those implants were like thousands of dollars. Like, that could go to some woman. Because what's the one of those? When you get a, what's it called? What's happened to? When you get your boobs cut off? Historectomy.

I've talked about this before. Why don't, like, you never see a woman with cancer with huge fake tits, which would be hilarious. Yeah, it just looks like Amber Rose. Yeah, no, never. I think because they're like, this is a little, like, I don't want to act like I miss them too much. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Or maybe they're like, I don't want cancer to take these fucking tits. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I always said this. Nobody loves. tits more than breast cancer. Yeah. Destroying it? Yeah, you've always said that.

I've always said it. Even when you were a little boy. Yo, I saw a tweet today that was like, it was like, when cum is inside your body, it's actually blue and it's not till it touches oxygen that it turns red. That's funny.

Somebody tweet about that balloon, though, earlier. They said it's funny that like, we're just letting TikTok spy on us. And now we're like, hey, not the balloon, though. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Right. The balloon's in your pocket, you know? You don't know they'd be afraid of.

Yeah. Now they just know we're all bald. What are they gathering, though, from me? From TikTok or from the balloon? From TikTok. What do they? They have access to, like, your messenger app. They have access to, like, your safari.

I think they just want to see your face come. Yeah. To a video of, like, a 15-year-old girl. And they're going to be like... Then they hold the entire country hostage. Yeah, they're going to be like, these people are all pedophiles. Oh, okay. Like, we know your pedophiles.

Well, I'm fine then. Or they're fine. Or they're going to attack you privately, I think, and be like, we have this video. We know what you did. Yeah. Time to comply with the Chinese. Pick up the chopsticks.

Right. Time to comply with the Chinese government. So that's interesting thing. They could be spying on people for crimes. Like, do you think in their mind, they're like, we're going to take over so far? Or do you think it's like, they could really manipulate governments? Because if they caught somebody like you were saying,

watching child porn, then they could be like, oh, we're going to release this if you don't decide to come in line with the one China policy. I just combined the one child policy and China. One China policy. There's only one China. That's what I believe. But I think it's not as much that, but I think that's the thing. But I think it's definitely, if you, first of all, no one reads the terms of agreement

for TikTok. Nobody ever does. But they all, they literally say they're like, we can access your website. search history. It's just the data. You can order Uber Eats on your credit card if we get hungry. It's all the data that I like, look, I hate to be that guy that's like, oh, they could go through because like I genuinely, uh, I don't look about anything bad. It's not regular porn. I also don't give a shit. It's not regular, but it's not illegal. Yeah. Far from regular. Yeah. Also far from criminal. That's the slogan for the podcast. Yeah. I'm in the same, but I don't give a shit who knows anything.

But also the problem is that though, that like they could like do it the other. way where they're like, okay, well, we're going to release this video of you jerking off on the internet. Yeah. And then unless you agree with, like, they can easily manipulate you that way. Then you start an only fans that's so much money no one would buy it. And then they release it free. They're infringing on your copyright.

Then you sue them for copyright. That's how you fight. I like the idea that China would come here for copy. Like the whole government's like, oh, man, we got to go for this lawsuit to America now. They're like sitting in a corporate. Like obviously they go. Yeah. You got us.

You better cut this from the podcast. Yeah. We don't want them getting any ideas. Wait, there might be another satellite. This is what they're doing. They're spying on podcasts for ideas. If you got like a really good like secret or idea,

would you like tell people about it or would you keep it for your, like if you knew. I always tried not to. I would tell people business ideas all the things. There were horrible businesses. Yeah. But I was like, I'm going to be a millionaire.

Like say you knew like a stretch or an exercise that would like grow your dick three inches for 24 hours. Would you tell... By the way, that is perfect, because I like the idea of not having a big dick all the time. Yeah, just when you need it. Right, just when you need it.

I don't know if I said this to you. I think the perfect dick is 11 inches soft, and then you get hard, and it just compresses into six inches hard. That... I think that's the eye... I don't like that.

More of a nuisance. Yeah, I don't have no penis at all. And then just when it gets hard, you have a penis. So it's like nothing there. It's like just testicles or maybe not even It's all inside of you You got to sit to pee still?

What's up? Yes, yeah, yeah. Yeah, I like the idea of a penis fully retracting. I love just a mangina throughout the day, like just a skin thing, you know what I mean? Yeah. Like that's what's called grandina? I don't know. I don't, it's not real.

I know it's just called a vagina. Yeah. Yeah, but it's like if I just had like a Ken doll. Oh, just smooth? Just smooth. But then I get a boner and then it's just an erect penis. We can call it a mangenia. Yeah.

I didn't know that there was a genital. a real thing as a... No, it's not. I like that I'm asking you. I'm like, what's it named in my hypothetical scenario? You guys know the name of this?

Yeah, yeah, yeah. And then it gets harder and then you have a dick like that, yeah. Yeah, but if you had that secret where you could grow it three inches out for 24 hours, you would tell people about it? Yeah, yeah. Because once it gets out, then your three inch long penis

is a, uh, that's a standard issue. Right, but I don't think that's an issue. I don't think it's like, I don't think bigger dicks make small, regular dicks smaller. I think, you know what I mean? Like, I think it's like, Yeah, you think guns kill people. Yes, exactly.

No, it's like, I didn't understand that at all. I don't get any. You know how people say, like, people don't kill people, or whatever. They say the other word. Yeah, yeah. Guns don't kill people, people kill people. Oh, geez. It sounded like you were going with.

No, no, no, no. Big dicks make small dicks angry. Big dicks create weak men. We make small penises. small betuses don't make women come. And we don't come make weak men. Who have small beattis. Who have small betes.

I think, I don't think I wouldn't share that with anyone. I wouldn't share it. I wouldn't share it. And then I would never do it. And I'd die with that information. I would do it. That's the kind of guy.

I would do it all the time. I'd do it all the time on my death bed. I'd be like, everybody watching. These kids got weird dicks, man. I love people. a deathbed, it's always just like, there's always an implication that you could do so much in that time. It's like, well, all my deathbed, I'll admit to all the crimes I've done. It's like,

usually, your deathbed's probably going to be like just some guy shooting you in the faith. It's not that, but it's like, your deathbed is going to be a heart attack. I think it's like such a fast thing. I don't want to die in a hospital. No. I don't really want to die in a weird sterile room, you know, like in a machines or connect. I don't know. I feel like maybe at home. I picture how I'm dying. And it's, I don't know why I picture just the Chinese government with a baton to my The last thing I see, just like, yeah. And that's the last thing I see. It's when you finally get to tour internationally.

Yeah. You stand up and they silence you. I want to die like that guy in the boys. We're just a man is shrunken. Explos in your penis. Man is shrunken and climbs into my asshole. The explorers for 20 to 30 minutes and then immediately grows to regular size and I explode into oblivion. That's a pretty cool.

That's a good way to go. That's a good way to go. Yeah. That was a weird. I thought he was in the penis, so he's in the asshole? Maybe he was in the penis. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. The asshole thing is what they said

Ant Man should do to... To Thanos, yeah, yeah, yeah, in Infinity War. This is what... They probably would feel so good a little man inside your penis, just tickling the inside of you. Do you think, though? I don't like the penis.

No, no, a woman, bro. Oh, yeah, yeah, that would be... Yeah, that would be... Maybe, well, not one of your boys. They're gonna have smooth legs down there. Yeah. I'll get that with just a random tickle inside my dickle. And it's the most like...

A tickle in your dickle? You randomly just feel that. You're like, what is that? You're like, what is that? Yeah. You can't scratch it because it's inside your penis. I like, I've never... I like to roll it out with a nice, like, rolling pin. Yeah. Roll it flat. Yeah.

Take a fucking... One of those things you use for dough. So I get just a dough roller. I like to roll my dick flat, mail it to Miami. Flat Stanley. People take photos with it all over the country. Like flat Stanley. All over the country.

Here's my aunt with my penis at the Great Wall China. Dear Patty. That should be a thing, a guy who does dickpicks across the nation. Yeah, beautiful penis pictures. Dude, I'll tell you where they're not doing dick pics right now. China. It's in the

Mount Washington, dude. What's Mount Washington? Wind chills of negative 110 right now. Jesus. Yeah. What's Mount Washington? I think it's in... Wait a way to take a fun dick pick thing and make it about the boring weather.

We have it so much fun talking about stretching out our penis A little man inside's ridiculous You know what's bad The weather is cold and watching You want to talk about the tie Historically low Dude I've become such a boring person Since doing news from bed

I'm just saying Yeah there's the oldest dog in the world Yeah Wait how is the oldest dog in the world 30 years old Don't engage He's fucking annoying Almost 31 older than you

dude, older than me. That's crazy. I thought it was going to be way older. I thought it'd be like an 80-year-old dog. Really? Really? Yeah, I don't know. You forget about it.

Dogs die when they're like 12. What's up? Dogs die when they're like 12. Maybe I've just been adding the dog ears and taking them through seriously. Yeah, my dog's 50. I think realistically a dog ear is more like six. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Here's my hot day. Because I've known like quite a few 14-year-old dogs. I haven't known a lot of 86-year-old humans. that's okay. Yeah. Maybe. My grandpa's 95, but if he got,

if there was a ray, like if someone was done making a ray that shrinks people to make you go up your ass, if they could make a ray that turn you into a dog, he would be an old fucking dog. Yeah,

yeah, yeah, yeah. He'd have lumps. You could not teach him a new trick. You know what I'm saying? I just avoided eye cut that because I wanted to move on from the riff.

I just looked away. I was like, yep. Yeah. It's so funny that I brought nothing today. And then I'm like, all right, guys, give me something. All right, so let's balloon again. I was reading up, I was reading about the Army of Hammer stuff is so funny to me.

Like that is my favorite news. Like, a celebrity that wants to eat people. Like, that's awesome. Yeah, he's suicidal, right? His suicide thing was so funny. Did you read it? No. He goes, I'm suicidal.

He's like, I was in the Cayman Islands and I swam out into the ocean. and I didn't care if a shark bit me or if the waves took me out. And then I went back in because there's all my kids in the shore. I'm like, that's not a suicide attempt. That's you going to the fucking beach. It's called exercise, yeah. Yeah, I've committed suicide five times a bit. What did I do?

I went on my private jet and I thought about jumping off. And as I was flying, I closed my eyes for 10 seconds. Yeah. Or going through a cloud. I didn't look at the view of the vista below. Yeah, we get it, Army Hammer. That fucking sucks. Yeah, it was funny that he brought up cancel culture.

It's like, you, I don't know, you were. It would also be ironic if he died by getting eaten, you know. Oh, that would be hilarious. That would be great, yeah. It's like, the one thing he loved. He's like, ah, I finally understand what this feels like. So fucking weird. Me too makes sense now.

My car. He knows women. Get my publicist. he uh he there was a wasn't there a body found it was some weird thing there were there were bones found by him or something like that also eating but really just nearby yeah yeah yeah but also like i don't know you should be able to eat dead people right i don't see i mean i guess you have the right to your body and now who cares about your fucking dead body i really and it's been a bit that's been overdone but like i really don't care what happens my body after i died i would like to know what i tasted like yeah yeah i know i'll never know but like maybe right before i die just slivered off a little piece. Yeah, get a little nibble. Yeah. I would like to try a human boy.

And I am curious. It could be delicious. It might be great. Imagine it's so good that like you can't eat anything else ever again. Besides human. Yeah, I don't think that makes sense. So I've never had something so good. And I'm like, looks like I can enjoy Oreos now because the steak was so good.

You know, I'd be like you probably be fine. That's true. But that's because you've had steak, dude, not the flesh of a virgin. I did. Fuck it. When I eat a guy? You better be dry. out there.

Yeah, how would you prepare a human? I think you eat, I would think ASP, that's just fat, right? Yeah,

you also got to run the risk of, you got to run the risk of the plastics. He'll be good, like a man pack. Like the rock, his chest just cut off,

just eating down like a sandwich. See, I think the rock could be way too gaming, dude. Really to pop-bos. He'd be like a wild,

when you shoot like a wild hand and try to eat it, it's like tough. Yeah. Yeah. Maybe he's, kind of beef jerky is, but like, I feel like James Corden would be delicious.

James Corden Blue. Rotating it over a fire. I hate, I hate him so much. This is bloody hot. His stupid fucking little glasses. It just him being like, I don't know why it pissed me so much where Bill Maher's like,

how but you lose away, you fat cuntor? Like, I don't know what he was saying. Bill Maher was just being like a piece of shit. And, uh, which he's funny. Like, he's annoying as hell. But he's also so, it's just funny how cunty he is all the time. Yeah. I think he almost left Joe Rogan

because Kyle Dunnigan, he was like, yeah, let me pull up the guy. He's like, if you pull up those videos of people making fun of him. That guy's got no fucking talent. Who is he? I don't care. Yeah. But he went after James Corder so like that and then James Cork got like so, or maybe

it was just him going over fat people and then James Cored just feeling like, I have to defend my community. Which is so funny to have like a sense of Sal, what's the word? Solidarity. Solidarity with the fat community. It's like, come on, you can figure this out.

But he's like, maybe Bill Ma should be more concerned with the words that come out of his mouth instead of the food that goes into other people's mouth in the audience. It's like, yeah. Oh my God.

Just a bunch of fat paws. Yeah. A little bit louder. It's louder. Reverberating off the wall. Just deep, deep claps. Dude, all that stuff is like, it just sucks.

Dude, it sucks. for shitheads. And I never want to be fucking on it. Yeah. I was talking to someone and they said something about S&L or something. They're like, well, I mean, I would like take, I'm like, you don't have to like cover for your ass in a conversation. Yeah, I'll do that too. I'll shit talking ass and I'll be like, but I would take it. Yeah. God, if you're watching and you know, Lauren Michaels.

The only reason we say that, though, is because like, if we're given the opportunity, we all know we'd be way too pussy not to take it. Oh, for sure. Yeah. Like, if there's any part of us that was like, I'd not take, would not take it. would be like, I'm not fucking... Right. Well, you gotta be, like, really important to make... Like, Dave Chappelle, not going back to the

Chappelle show is, like, an important move. But a guy with nothing denying his only option out of the idiot. You have to, like, walk away from it. I just hate that whole... It's just so funny. Just the... The shithead thing...

I don't know. I don't think... It was so funny that people were, like, blown away that he was a cunt at a restaurant. I'm like, I'll be surprised if he didn't spit in a waiter's face. The guy's just... Yeah. With his glasses, piss.

I hate him. I don't know. He sucks. Like, it's deep birding passion. He reminds me of that guy from Harry Potter that turns into the rat. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. He's a fucking Peter Pedigrew. Yeah, yeah. Dude, he's... I just, like, I genuinely think I have an issue with posh British people. I've no problem with cockney people. I fucking love. Or, like, just regular British people. But, like, there's something about that British guy who thinks he knows more. I get very... It's probably an insecurity personally where I'm like, hey, this guy, was he some smart guy or something?

How do you know about Ricky Jervais then? I think he's a little country, but he's funny. Like, if he's a little country, but he's funny. Because he's like I like that he's wearing T-shirts I can relate to that It's funny Yeah You know what I mean

Like somebody like that Like I can relate to this guy If he was coming out in a powdered wig I'd be like Let's hold that way Yeah I'm just basing this off Of like judges The king

Yeah The one thing I don't like About Ricky Jervase When he does stand up He has like that clip on Mike Of course That's what I'm saying That is the Britishness

That I hate They gotta do a little cunty thing And everything they do has to be slightly... Like they invented something. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You're talking about how much you hate your wife. Yeah, yeah.

Hold a microphone. Yeah. Every British stand up. Yeah, they like use both hands and it ends with like, rape is bad. Yeah, yeah. It's like, I knew that.

I knew that going in. And it's just to like do this with their hands and then like this. And it's like, well, your mom, she's got a big ass. But I want to, like, an American comic would have a hard time transitioning to a two-handed move.

Like, yeah. It's not like, doing it like I could do standard with one hand type by my back like it's hard. They also, I feel like they genuinely look down on us so much that we do standup. Probably to them we're like, Dada, Dada. Oh my God.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, I like to that we probably, I'm not saying we are more stupid of them, but because of what their, uh, standards are for intelligence and like, or what they think is, I probably am like, they, they, they, I guarantee you they say me exactly how I see a man with down. Yeah, yeah.

Like there's no, dude, that's spot on how they view me. Dude, that dude's awesome. He's like, oh, look at my little. There was a British comic who's supposedly like famous. He's kind of like a million followers on Instagram or whatever, whatever that means. But he's like, that's everyone in England. It's very big, very big comic in England. He did cult the other day.

And like, he was on stage. He's like, do you guys bloody know who I fucking am? Oh, God. No way. But I think it's like, that's like a part of their, that's like a part of their comedy is like that ego. thing because I think normally... Which would be great if not all of them did it. You know what I'm like? This would be cool the first

time but then it's like, oh, another cunty British guy. What a surprise. Yeah, he's like, I'm just over here to see if my comedy works in America. Yeah. If it doesn't, I'll just fucking take a jet back home then. Yeah. Yeah. And he's like, kind of bombing

because he's like... I would just stand up and be like, you're uncircumcised! And that's gross! Just the most... just personal. You're killing, though. They love it.

But yeah, I don't know if ours would translate well over there. Like, Brendan Sagilla, when performing was like great. Like, everyone loved him.

He's funny, goofy, silly. And then like, this guy comes up and he's like, yeah, no, I'm,

you guys aren't looking at me like, I'm as famous as I really am. That's interesting. Maybe I'll have to cut it short for you, right? Because he kept being like,

you guys are fucking, you're not even here. Yeah. And like, they're like, they're like, they're like, they're like,

something funny. We're trying to like you. Yeah. Making it so hard. So hard, dude. Anytime someone's from like out of town, like if they're from out of the country, I feel like they go up in their whole sets

about not being from America. They're from like Dallas. They'll be like, you know, we don't do things in Dallas like this. I don't care. I don't think you're the difference. The key to being a New York comic

is you just got to like lean on the wall once in a while. Yeah, yeah. And then that's it. Then you're fine. Everyone's like, oh, wow. He must be from down the street. And you got to do crowdwork

and then overreact to whatever. saying, you're like, oh, really? You're a guy in a colleges. Pitch and look at pussy all day. Just kick the stool. Yeah, it's not that hard being a New York comic, dude. No, no. Everyone should do it.

They all stay on. Back to what was the Army Hammer thing. Yeah, yeah. He was, yeah, I don't think I had anything else on that. I circled back. Yeah, I bet there was another thought I had on it, but, no, he's just eating. people.

And I don't know. You should get a stand-up. Oh, yeah, he was molested. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You guys got any hot stuff on that? I think, uh, your memory begins when something enters your asshole. Really? I have a theory about that.

Okay. So you're saying, everybody was molested. Oh, wait, you want me to clarify? Yeah. What does that mean? So you're saying, because my first memory is, I think my first memory was, uh, I got a couple of them. One of them was. So, wait.

I had a nanny. No, there's one first memory, Mike. I don't remember which one was first. The neighbor had a clown mask and it was Halloween. That's one of them. The other one is I had this dream where, so I had a nanny from the islands. We've talked about this before. Her name is Missy.

And I had a dream that she was a giant bee and she was like zapping me with like, I was like running through a field. With black magic. Yeah. But those are my first two memories. Okay. What are yours? Mine is, uh, what you're saying real quick is you're saying that everybody was molested up until the age of four and then, or before, I think, what are you saying? I think you have no

memories, not before you're molested, but before something goes up your ass. It like turns on your memory card. That like triggers. Okay, so like the thermometer when you're a baby. It like activates you like a C-CIA, like, what are the missions? It's the opposite of you know that when you have a little toy and you pull out that little piece of paper. Yes. It has a battery going. That's the opposite. Exactly. You got to put the piece of paper in. And sometimes it's your, uncle's finger. Sometimes you're at a doctor and it's totally legal. Or sometimes you're just exploring because you're a

kid and you have a whole. I don't know, I'm a picture of doctor's finger, you're back, no, this is totally legal. I'm a doctor. I can do it ever. Babies have prostates. I'm a doctor. I can't go out. Yeah. He's saying that to the mom.

This is the funniest sentence ever. I'm a doctor. I can do it. Go ahead and you take your pants off. This isn't even my appointment. No, I'm going to touch your titty. whip those milkers out. Yeah. Yeah, you have breast cancer real bad.

That could feel it in there. Yeah, you definitely have breasts. Yep, you're a woman. I knew who I walked in here. Wasn't sure by the face? The face I was like, not so much, but too big of a jawline. But yeah, yeah, that.

I saw a couple on the way here wearing beanies, and I couldn't tell if it was too ugly gay men or an ugly woman and ugly man. First off, there aren't ugly gay men. They're all beautiful. Oh, let's get that out of the fucking. Genuinely, I'm not gay. But I don't have to preface that anymore.

Whatever. There's enough data to back now. But gay dudes, I think they care so much for their parents to normal. You know what? No, there's some fat gay dudes. I take that back. Yeah, Tim, they were fat.

Yeah, yeah. That's not a good-looking man. By any means. Yeah. He also might not be gay. He's gay. He never know. You were saying that.

Your first memory? My first memory was sucking. car keys. So here's the deal. I think your first you, it starts with something in your butt. Right. That doesn't necessarily mean you'll remember it. Right. Because it's like when you wake up.

No, I never you said. That's just the switch. It's just that's the switch. So mine was sucking on car keys. My second memory was getting fucked in my ass. No, my second memory, that was when I was like, I think three years old because I used to just shove things in my mouth. I had an oral thing. And car keys are just good. I mean,

Have you ever tasted car keys? Every day of my life. Yeah. I mean, I have, I have licked cocaine off of keys. Yeah. And it's like a, it's like a better.

That's gross because it was just in my nose. And then I'm like, oh, yeah, here we go. Yeah, yeah. But my second memory was when I was like,

I think seven, I was like, I like, for some reason, it was just in my room and I just like, had to shit. And I was just like, let's see how this plays out.

And I just like put my hand under, it's poop to your hand. I like the analytical thought of you're like, what would have? happen. I'm gonna do a little experimenter. What happens my shit in my hand. I was like, is this the worst thing ever if I do this? Because that opens,

think about all the windows of opportunity. By the way, look, I never shout in my hand, but it does sound fun. If you could immediately have it cleaned up and not smell it, like the idea of like just my palm and then having shit in it,

do whatever I want to throw it, you know? Yeah. I would be so fun to just be like a chimpanzee and just throw your feet in a wall. That sounds like a blast. I think British people are right about us. I think we are fucking dumb asses.

because that does sound like fun and I'm like you know what that seems like an experience in life that I have it's too late for me now no actually when I get older I see now I'll probably shit my hands then the worst part is though I tried to like throw in the toilet but it like kind of stinks to your hand I like how vivid this memory is normally you shouldn't if you're pooping in your hands you shouldn't also have a good memory so this seems like it was reason enough but it is visceral because there's the smell there's the action there's like the suspense of like looking around to make sure my mom didn't walk in Yeah, yeah. But then you throw it, but it does stick to your hand, so it just landed right on top of the seat. It's just like, oh, my God, dude. So I had to, like, wipe it off. Damn.

It was a rough chance. It's enough of an experience where I realized I would never do it again. Right. So I never have to worry about shitting in my hand again. Well, that's a relief. Some people have not had that realization. Yeah, yeah. In their 30s, it's not going to be as small and probably nutritional as of a shit.

Yeah. You're probably going to be hammered. It's going to be wet. Yeah. Can't make it to the toilet. Can't make to the toilet? I saw a drunk fight the other day where you ever see a woman really trying to get a guy to hit her? And you're like, this is not going to end well.

I was walking down the street. I saw that. This girl was like yelling at this guy punching him. She goes, you're not going to fucking hit me because I'm a woman. What are you going to do about it? And the guy just keeps walking away trying to avoid it. Yeah, yeah. And I was like, I do not feel bad if she gets clock in that scenario.

No, and I don't think anyone does. Yeah, yeah. Because, like, you literally are asked, like, no matter. what, you should never punch a woman. Like, he's fucked up for doing it if he did it. But also, it's like, I don't feel bad for somebody for... You know, it's like, look, a fucking alligator should not eat a toddler. But don't walk your toddler by the alligators.

You know what I mean? There's two parties at fault there. Exactly. Yeah. Yeah. Do you get the same... Like, is it considered a song? You only have Orlando-based references.

Look, when you're on a jet ski. This reminds me of kissing me. You can feed a mouse a cookie. You can't feed an alligator with John. Do you think, do you get the same, like, sentence or, like, legality if you're a woman

hitting a man as a man hitting a woman? I think zero percent chance. Because when Rihanna and Chris Brown got that fight, I remember it was like, I mean, he beat the shit out of her. It's terrible. But she was like, yeah, no, I hit him a bunch too. And people were like, you're still our queen. Yeah.

But we don't say they got into fight. We said Chris Brown. Right. But they did get into a fight. She just lost. That's like the social That should be the headline Rihanna doesn't know how to throw hands

She'd bite off like part of his finger or something At one point Like she bit something off of his butt Maybe I'm completely wrong But I remember reading somewhere that she had bitten off Like some part of his body Yeah yeah And I'm like that feels a little bit

I don't know maybe that was like Yeah sometimes it's great He's definitely out of his fucking mind Like he's a piece of shit for sure Because like no matter what You shouldn't like if I was in a relationship They hit me I would just leave and be like You're

It's kind of kind of, it's kind of ironic that she's doing the Super Bowl halftime show, which is like, the NFL is like the number one supplier of domestic. Yeah. It's like a number one. Yeah. Oh, a victim up there. Yeah.

Oh, I'm really learning stuff. Yeah. But if your girlfriend is Rihanna, you got to stick by her. Yeah. Because your ex-girlfriend is then, like, the least attractive person. Like, you can't down, you can't upgrade. So it's going to be a downgrade. Right.

I think men have this realization in women as well, when they hit their, like, peak. they're like, well, I can't leave this. I gotta just stick this out. Yeah. You know? Just give him this pussy once a month. Yeah. That's all he needs.

Right. For sure. Yeah. He had a weird thing with his rape case because it was like he, so first off, he's, like, he had some thing where like, there's, he had a standoff with the police at some point. Like, something totally, like, he's definitely out of his fucking mind. But then his, what's it call is really weird. He did have, like, text messages because some girl accused him of, like, rape.

And then he had all these text messages of him ghosting her. with the timelines that she said that happened. And he's like, sorry, I was busy. And she's like, oh, the sex last night was so great. I mean, maybe he, like, took her phone and did it. Oh, interesting. Yeah, it was like a complicated one. Maybe it was a Chinese spy balloon.

Yeah. That's what they were after. Full circle. Appreciate that. Yeah. You really don't have tie up loose ends. We are trying to put messages on Chris Brown phone. They're trying to make him look innocent.

They love Chris Brown. They're like Chris Brown. He's a promising musician with great dance moon. We cannot possibly get... Thank you, China. Thanks for the support, China. We have to bring back his career to learn cat daddy. We only know how to eat cat daddy.

I don't know how to eat cat daddy. Chris Brown Rice. Oh, there you go. Yeah, yeah. Wow. We're so good at this. British people are right. I love me also shooting on James Gordon.

Like, what a garbage show. And then I'm like, maybe we should press charges against Rihanna. Because I don't know. Yeah. Maybe Michael Good should be more concerned. James Cornyn is too fast. Do they probably. What?

Do it, do it. Do whatever you're about to do. Nothing to say What I was gonna be like We confuse him with panda all the time He looked like panda and tuxedo Hey James Corden We're our color so we know you're not painting them

We don't feed you bamboo The accent will never not be funny to be It's so fucking funny to me You're really good at it You're also you know I'll say this the whole time Patty didn't do the face once Which somebody's time less for It is so hard to do an accent without

doing the phase. Yeah. In your mind you picture that you have to do, like even when you're in the teeth. Oh. Yeah. He did wear the hat the whole time. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But it's like you can't like, it's like if you were doing. But it's also like not a Chinese you're, this is what like you hear going through the balloon. Yeah. It's like they give the

balloon like an ominous voice. So you may have shot me down this time. But there are many, many more balloon coming and you'll never see them coming. Have you seen the video of the Chinese get? He takes his eyes and opens him wide like a white guy. And he goes, oh, bro, I'm going to use my credit card. It's the funniest.

It's so fucking funny. Dude, if they did it, I've always, I've always said this, we got to support the other, the menstrual shows against white people. Because it's just funny, dude, taping their, like, if you dudes tape their eyes open and just, like, I would love that. Yeah. But, like, we all agree it's funny when people do other things that they're not.

So, like, can, uh, let me put the pain on my face. Yeah. Like, I'm begging. this to be a genre of comedy of it's time for the white menstrual shows. Let's fucking do that. When we saw who was a Cat Williams

there's one comic who was like white people dance like black babies. He's just starting going like They have rhythm but no coordination. That's actually hilarious. Now you did you act out. Yeah, yeah. It was so true.

Oh God. But dude, I think it's like kind of hard to dance. Make fun of white people. I don't think so. Maybe not. But like nobody really does a great job with it. Oh, I disagree.

I think like when somebody does like a, like a Ben Shapiro impression is like the best making fun of white people. Yeah. Yeah. But who does a Ben Shapiro impression that's not white? That's true. Black dude should do more in Ben Shapiro impressions. But I think when black people are white people, they do like a Ben Shapiro impression.

Yeah, they do a very, when they do a white voice, it's very funny. Yeah, yeah. It's so funny. The fact that we're interested in like, other races of people impersonating us must mean that other races, not impersonating, but like how they're perceived, it must have some sort of value to like, it's for a funny thing. And people are like afraid of that. People are afraid to like talk about things that aren't their own experience.

But it's like. Yeah, but also your perspective on that. Like a Chinese guy doing impressions of why it's fun. Like you wouldn't keep. It's funny. Right. Yeah. Look at my Roo-Ramins on my pants.

Look at me American. I go to Planet Fitness for no money. The idea of a Chinese guy wearing like leggings to make fun of like white chicks That would be the funniest act out. Just like a middle-aged Chinese man wearing like tights with like a fake ass in there. Just doing that impression. It would be hilarious. Yeah. We should book that guy.

Yeah. On our white minstrel show. The three of us should produce it. Dude, yeah. We should produce it. Just get it and then just see who's down for it. We should definitely do a yellow menstrual show. Where we just do Asian voices?

We just take highlighters and just... Do yellow face with just painting our faces yellow. It's like, are these guys dying of liver cancer? Oh, it's the Simpsons. I like the idea of a guy who just thinks all the Simpsons are Chinese. This is anime. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, they really don't eat Chinese food in China.

Yeah, it's weird, yeah, yeah. Just like us. Yeah. Wow, he learns to not be racist because he thought that... Wow. I learned a lot about... It's Obama. Yeah.

I learned a lot about Asian people Washington the Simpsons. Bar people. It's just like my son. I don't have a son, but if I did. Is that Obama? Is that a... That's like George W. Yeah, that just went a little bit of Biden at the end of that. George W. Obama. Look, he's just like our son.

My son, Hunter. Last one of God. Hunter said he's a pretty good boy. He's great to doing crap. He doesn't understand odd numbers, but he's pretty smart guy. What's the odd numbers thing? That was just a riff. Oh, God.

We do got to wrap up, though. Not getting that. You want to do any of more voices? Might as well. I don't get something funny. Throw one. What are you guys on? The last five episodes have been the most racist

as podcast. It's gotten sick. But it's just why it is. What voice do you guys want to hear? Can you Native American? Michael. It is. Late in the sun today.

It's late in the sun. It is me. Featherhead... I feel like that's a slur. Featherhead bison running. I have... We know how to say, uh... Let's wrap it up.

No, no, no. Let's see where it goes. Let's do a whole other one that starts with this. Give me like 10 minutes. Okay, warm up. I have a cornucopia. Okay. We usually keep our newest born child in there, towed stool sitting.

Give me a second. Hold up. I don't know if we're going to find us. Thank you for the blankets. They're very scratchy, but they warm us up. We've been very, very warm lately. Almost to the point that we think we might be running a fever. But thank you.

We'll just keep wearing the blankets. Fuck you guys. That's right. I don't think anyone's listened this far anyway. I will. I'd be like, I was there. I was there for that moment on the morning. I remember that.

What do you guys want to promote? We just have to end early on us because we started late. I genuinely wasn't trying to cut anything off. No, we're good. I got the stuff, Radio Free Brooklyn, every Sunday at 8 p.m. and a weekly show at Piano soon.

Pianos. Oh, nice. Yeah, yeah. I hope you don't feel like I'm shutting you down. No, not at all. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm very much okay. I thought it was hilarious.

You come off, he's silencing me, man. Michael Goods got a woke. No, no, no, no. Not at all. Michael Good's gone woke. Who is that? It's an AP News push notification.

You just see me on the lips of TikTok. Michael Good. Didn't give a shit about the surveillance plane. He says it's a great idea. We got his panties in the twist when I was Native American. News from bed. on TikTok. That's it for me.

Perfect. I already did mine. Oh, yeah. I went first. My parade's fucking done. Oh, by the way, if this is on YouTube, I don't know, I'm putting some of them on YouTube. I don't even know my YouTube username right now.

But please listen on other platforms. I only put some episodes on YouTube. Most of them are on Apple, Google, and Spotify. So Apple, Google, and Spotify, occasional one on YouTube, if you're watching this on YouTube. I put like three on YouTube. And the rest of them are on other platforms. Thank you.