Morning Good - White Guy Radio - Episode 122

Episode Date: October 9, 2022

Thanks to Paddy Defino and Levi White for coming back on the show. Check both of these guys out on previous episodes and click their links below for more info about them.Paddy is on Instagram @paddy_is_funky, and make sure to check out his blog at pink-brains.com. Levi is on Instagram as well @levithewhite and co-produces both @toughlovecomedy and @undertheradarcomedy featuring some of your favorite NYC comics.As always, find Michael Good on Instagram @michael_good1125 and on Twitter @agoodmichaelThis podcast was produced by Paxton Fleming, you can find him on Instagram @yaboypax 

Thanks for the F-Shack. I love dirty Mike and the boys. Hey, are you dirty Mike and the boys? How you know who we are? What's this? They called the podcast? Morning good. I love that.

Yeah, it's me with the boner on the front. Welcome to morning. And we are here with Patty Defino. Hey, welcome to White Guy Radio. White Guy Radio. keeping it real. Levi White also. We are wearing black shirts.

So there's a little bit of diversity. Yeah, yeah, yeah. We're mixing it up a little bit. Have you ever had a black guy on this podcast? Yeah, absolutely. Yeah. A couple times. Four times.

I didn't post those episodes. No, no, no, no. I do. But I always end up just hitting up who's ever last minute. So Patty is always like, yeah. I never have anything going on. So you're always good.

But yeah, you're here to talk about you're protesting the movie Bros for its homosexual themes. Oh, is that what it's about? I was protesting it for its familial. Is that the right word? No. Horrible start to the roof.

Familial. No, no. What family is? Oh, okay. Like, yeah, it's like brothers. Brothers. Remember that movie Brothers? with Toby McGuire

I thought this was just a bridged version of that film Yeah I remember that one He goes to the war And then Jake Jeline's brother And he starts fucking his wife Yeah

And then he loses his mind Which is kind of funny Because it's like I don't know You were gone for like five years It's kind of a compliment I guess you guys share some of the same attributes Yeah that is true

But also people don't know In brothers too They do fuck Oh really? Toby and Jake Yeah Oh really Yeah

I mean that kind of adds up Yeah It's because Toby was upset Because he didn't get In Brokeback Mountain So he's like, I got to get a little slice of that jelly. Well, it's probably because he was doing Spider-Man 3. I don't know the exact time.

Spider-Man 2. Yeah, yeah. They wanted him in that, actually. In Brokeback? Yes. Yeah, yeah. It was a big thing, yeah. Would you right now take a role in Brokeback Mountain?

Yes. But here's the thing is... Unless they said you can't giggle through all shooting. And I'll be like, I just can't do this. You just show up with tons of poppers. Where's the blooper reel for Brokeback Mountain? Yeah. I'm going to stop.

I can't. I can't. I can't. You don't know it's going to be like this, you know, this big time Hollywood success. So would I play a gay guy in a movie with gay sex scenes? Yeah. What is the pay? Let's say it's...

If he says it like this, then I'm not going into the movie. It's not a movie. He's like, okay, let me think. Let's say the pay is $1 million. But... Yeah. But you can... can never make a fart with any sound ever again.

Well, that's, that's just a different thing. Like magically, or like he just has to hold his farts on? No, like, you just... The rest of my life, I can't make a fart noise. Due to the filming of the movie, you will never be able to make a fart with any sound again. What about a whistle? Because I was fucked in the ass?

Perhaps. How devoted are you to this part, Michael? This is a very wide range of questions. would I get fucked in the ass for a million dollars? Probably. Not only fucked in the ass, but have it be on film. Okay, but I hope you understand. Brokemey Mountain's not actually a gay porno.

It's just a gay love story. Yeah, they're not. Jake Chilin-law is not really getting like butt rape, rammed, sorry. Really? Yeah, I never saw it. You thought they should penetrate? You think it's the one movie that Hollywood shows,

and then went full in? Yeah. I'm too scared to watch anything too gay. Really? Yeah. That's why I could. watch Top Gun. Yeah, because you're like, what if

this awakens something inside me? Exactly. Yeah, that would be it'd be a hard thing to find out. I'll take a sip of wine. Can we start over? No, no, no, we're already in it.

Yeah, it's weird because I always wonder what NC17 is. I know that new Maryland and Roe movies, NC17. Jess hated it. I saw her Facebook. She was going, do you know why she hated it? Because there was women in it?

Yeah. She says it's an attractive woman in it. Yeah, this is horrible. Fuck. Yeah, okay. Yeah, yeah. No, I think she was just saying it's just bloated bullshit. Like, it's not good at all.

Oh, okay. Yeah. But I watched, I watched some scenes. Which, she's getting double team by the two brothers, right? Yeah. That is kind of brothers. Yeah.

That is brothers too. I think it's supposed to be the Kennedys or something like that. They just fucked Maryland Monroe. Oh, really? Yeah, I could be completely wrong. Oh. Yeah, they look nothing like the Kennedys either. Yeah, no, they're hotter, right?

Yeah, they were babes. Yeah. But you don't see, I'm confused. So it's NC17. There's no penetration. But I think it's because you see like there's a graphic abortion scene or something like that. For what I heard, there's two graphic abortion scenes. That's the only time you get to see Anna Dearmis' hot little pussy.

What a catch-22. They play for you. They're like, you can see. That part did not show up. There's going to be a dead baby coming out of it. So whether you're going to use this is. I heard it's just mostly, again, I'm just speaking on movies I've never seen. But I heard it's mostly just about the men in her life that, like, made her into who she is.

So it's kind of like, uh, because I don't know anything about her career. Was it on the backs of strong American white men? Yes, of course. I'm just kidding. There's no way she would have ever made it without men. Yeah. Because, like, well, I have no idea what the story is with the Kennedy's like, did she, did they bang her? And then they were like, oh, she's hot or was she, she was already a star by then, probably, right?

Yeah. Yeah. Because I don't think they would bang somebody who's just kind of like. You know who she. She kind of represents that girl in every high school who's like not the hottest girl, but like every guy still wants to fuck. Because they think she's loose.

They think she's loose and she's fun. I think it was like... I think Marilyn Monroe was considered like the hottest woman at that time. Have you seen pictures of people in the 50s? It's disgusting. That's true. They're so ugly.

None of them are attracted. Like nobody till 1994 was hot, in my opinion. Like people were okay. You're like, well, that person, I guess. But like the makeup was terrible. Like one's Fores Gump came out. It was like people are hot. Yeah, yeah.

That's what it happens. Right across the board. Yeah. Because it's like, I don't know, the hair looks ridiculous. The makeup looks ridiculous. They value different things. Like butts weren't even a thing until like 2012. Yeah.

You know what's like really crazy too is like nobody shaved their genitals until like... See, you fan of that. The 90s. I'm a fan of that. But do you think it's coming back? Bush? The Bush? It seems like in porn.

It's always there now. Yeah. You know what's interesting. It's like once Bush got into office, Bush got out of... Bad of, yeah. I don't know. I'm just kidding. I'm kidding.

I don't know about Marilyn Monroe though, but people were like very offended by I don't think they were offended by the abortion scenes. It was like they were offended by like, what's it called? Like that she wasn't seen as like a strong character. Which is funny to see like a dead baby

coming out of a vagina and you're like, a fan of that. And you're like, wait a second, she didn't have enough lines in that scene. I don't know how I feel about it. I think the whole point of the movie is just like, yeah,

abused by everyone in Hollywood to the point where she basically fucking killed herself. Right. And the biggest controversy I'm hearing is that they filmed the death scene in the place that Marilyn Monroe actually died. See, that's just cool.

That's fucking weird. Absolutely. Bring me back there. That's pretty funny. That reminds me, because that's like a thing that like some like movie nerd will know going in and like announced to the theater while it's not in her parents. She died.

When I saw, When I saw once upon a time in Hollywood, I was living in New Paltz, and I was so fucking high when I got to the theater. Like so high that I sat in the corner. And there's like a pole or something. I'm like, I don't really need to see the movie. I just don't want to be in anyone's way.

You know when you're like that high? Yeah. And I'm sitting there. And of course this guy comes in, and there's a scene. He's got like long hair and like a jean jacket. And he sits like right next to me. Oh, you think he can show up the place?

Well, that's what I thought at first. But then like, he just starts like, he's kind of just like talking trying to talk to everyone during the movie and people are like, dude, you got to shut up. And then there's a scene where like one of the girls comes out and starts like talk like, I don't know, she's got like jean shorts on or whatever. And he's just like, whoa. Yeah. And turns to me, give me, I'm so high. I'm just like, all right. Yeah. So now I'm his best friend. Yeah. And he tells me every time there's something, he's like, you know, Marilyn Manson was actually a pretty decent. What's his name Charles Manson? Not Maryland. Neither guy. That's a Levi's role model. Yeah.

Oh, fuck up. You asshole. Yeah, nobody, there's no end of the story with his rape charges, Marilyn Manson. At least we haven't gotten to them yet. He was like, they happened. Donda came out. They were like, this is controversial. He's on the new Kanye album.

And then we just never heard about it. I don't know. And I follow celebrity news because celebrity uses fun now. I thought it was so lame in like five years ago. I was like, I don't want to hear what celebrities are doing it. Now I'm like, this is way better than like political. news. I don't want to hear about what Zelensky has. Only when it's about it. I only want to know what the rape.

Yeah, I guess. It's a different app for that. When you rape and when you're dead. It's e-rape. It's like e-news. Similar. He raped me. He raped me. Me too, the app. That's not a terrible app. They have enough to work with. It seems like every other week. There's just somebody here. My favorite is Drake Bell. He's just like in Mexico now. Have you seen any of them? It's so funny. He's like on Facebook. and he's like, So I'm Drake Bell.

He just moved to Mexico, which is the funniest move. It's crazy. But he's like, I'm not breaking any laws here. If you open up your legs. The age of consent here is 15. Dude, what a show, Drake and Josh.

What if he did like a Mexican version of Drake? I like that idea. Drake and Jose. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay. What would Megan's name be in Spanish? Meggin. Chinchalita!

Chimchata. She's like, they're always angry at her. What does chinchoretta? She's makeup. It sounded like a Spanish word. Dude, I live in a very Spanish neighborhood, and there's a... A lot of fireworks you're saying.

A lot of fireworks, a lot of guns. I don't know if there's a correlation there. But anyway, there's like... It's like... It's like... It's to shoot people who use fireworks illegally. Yeah, there you go.

But they always post, like, posters of, of, like, these Spanish or whatever denomination of Latino singer they are. And I've never heard of any of them. Oh, yeah, yeah. There's always, like, a star and you're like, like, Santiago Dominguez. Yeah, yeah. But he's like the king there. Like, I barely knew who Mark Anthony was. And he showed up to the pair of his like, Martin's here.

I'm like, yeah, my favorite too. I'm like, I don't know what he's fucking done. But there's a whole world out there. Oh, yeah. The worst is I was trying to look up at Spanish. a song and it was so hard to find. I was at work and I listened to like probably five hours of Spanish love songs, trying to find out what song I was thinking of. It was in this movie called, I took a Spanish, it was like Spanish cinema and it was a Florida State University and it was

about a Mexican drag queen. Okay. Dad works in like the dog fighting world, I believe, or no, I'm mixing up movies. The dad was a boxer. Sounds like a great movie. Yeah, yeah, the dad was a boxer and then like he wanted to be like a drag queen or something like that. And of course, the beginning of the movie, the dad's at like a drag club. And it's so funny because the dad's like super homophobic, but he stumbles into a drag club. And then the son like starts grinding on him or something.

And he's like, no, get down to fear. He's like, this is disgusting. Maricon. Or whatever they say. Yeah. And then at the end of the movie, obviously, the dad like approves of it completely, but then dies of cancer.

Oh, so it's like high school music. Yeah. That's cool. just like, I mean, that's not entirely off. Yes, very similar plot to high school musical in that sense. Wow. I saw a Celine. You ever seen the movie Selena?

No, it's about that. It's about that woman, Selena. You know who that is? Who? She's like the singer. Yeah, she was like killed. Killed by like a stalker. Oh.

Yeah, dude. The ultimate way to go. I hope I'm killed by a stalker. That's a big compliment. I've never, I've never, I'll never have a stalker. Dude, watch it. I'll tell you what. Watching Dahmer, I've never wanted to, like, kill a woman.

Wait, what? I've never wanted to murder a woman, but it would be cool to be the last thing she ever sees. I had that realization. Really? I don't think so. You don't feel that way at all? No, I think killing your parents is cool. I would never kill my parents. My dad listens to his podcast.

But there's that one celebrity who killed his parents. It's like destroying your maker. Oh, like the Menendez brothers? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Like, or maybe not in that way, but like in wanted or something like that. where his dad is like the other spy. Ah, yeah. I've got to kill yourself.

You know, in a moment like that, I'd never want to kill my father out of the blue. But, you know, it's one of those moments, like, he turns into a zombie. Yeah, but if your father, like, deceived you in some way. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Then it's like, then it's like... Then there's a whole revenge arc.

Yes, like, in the was it a godfather, too, where he has to kill his brother, and you're like, oh, this is dark. It would be funny if, like, something happened where your dad, like, did you really wrong in the course of your podcast. Like, he didn't Vemmo me, Ren, he was... I was kidding.

And over the course of your podcast, you discuss how you're going to find and murder your dad. But he's listening to all this. He's just like, what the hell, Michael? I thought you loved me. There was a movie star reason that murdered his mom, right? I don't know. You guys got to stay at one he knew. Yeah, this is.

Stop looking at E-Rate. Yeah, unless he raped and murders his mom, I don't know. Then I'm going to pay attention. Now you got my ear. Who was it, do you know? it was some kid from like, I don't know if it was Stranger Things or something like that. One of those where they're like, yeah, it's a fun-holley movie.

It was Finn Wolfhardt. I mentioned all those stranger kids, give it five years. Those stranger kids are going to have horrible stories to share. Oh my God. Like everybody's stars of the world out. You know Millie Bobby Brown. She said like, I was raped by Drake. Yeah, yeah. Given five years, all those stories

are coming out. We're going to find out that Stranger Things was the worst thing created. For sure. Everybody loves it so much. You're like, well, I just know. She's been passed around like an AIDS test in the 90s. You know what I'm saying? Yeah, a lot of gay guys having sex with me. How do you take it to AIDS? It's blood, right? I assume, right? Not pee? Well, not speaking from experience, but it is blood. It's a lot of blood. I think every time you give blood, they test you for AIDS, right?

Yeah. Yeah. You could always lie and be like, no. Because I went to Haiti, I couldn't give blood for like four years. Somebody out was there for like three days. And they're like, no, thank you. You can never give blood in this country again. I'm like, I mean, I don't know about that, but I've never given blood. Really? Ever. You've never even gotten it tested? Too precious.

Yeah, I'm saving it. You've never got it tested? Oh, yeah, I've been tested. I don't like that every time I get like, just like a regular, we're going to check your vitamin D levels and AIDS. Just ask. Ask for it back afterwards. Be like, once you're done testing it, you just give it back. And I'm like, we acted into me.

We saw, we saw the way you waddled in here. We're going to check for a. This is another do with, yeah, okay, sure, sir. I did. I went to the doctor. We saw your bill for Brokeback Mountain 2. We're going to check your pre-seq. We saw your spec script for Brokeback Mountain 2.

It says here you were in the Eagle Scouts. Yeah, we're at opening night for bros. We're going to check it twice. I did. I went to the doctor because I was bleeding a lot from my anus. Whoa, okay. Yeah, true. And he was like, yeah, well, we'll test your blood, test for AIDS.

Throw it in like... Just slid it in there. Farrades and all that stuff. And he told me they were non-bleeding hemorrhoids. Oh. And I was like, buddy. There's some blood. They're bleed.

I'm actually, I have the opening, I have like the pilot of a hemroid right now. I felt it in there in the shower. Dude, I get them all the time. Can we move on? I'm sorry. I do have a funny story about going to the doctor for hemorrhoids. Hemorrhoid? No, stop.

Hemorrhocks me out. It disturbs me. It disturbs me with a deep path. I don't know why. It's just a part of life, man. Yeah. It's a pretty gross part of life. Well, speaking about deep passion, I was really scrubbing down there, and I felt it the other day.

But there was this one time I went to a doctor, and, like, I had one. I went, and there was like an emergent care. And I'm in the room, and, like, this guy comes in. He's like, hey, how's it going? Yeah. Oh, so this is what you have going on? I was like, yeah. He's like, all right, let me see.

And he just starts, like, feeling around down there. And he's like, oh, yeah, I've had this before. That's hilarious to say that. I'm like, all right. Also, you said feeling around, it sounds like, the way you said that sounds like he's starting on like your inner thigh. Yeah, it was more like he was rummaging. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. But anyway, then at one point he goes, he's like, yeah, you know, this is, you just, you should sit in Epsom salt or whatever.

And he goes, all right, and the doctor will be in in a few minutes. It wasn't even the doctor. It was just some, I should have known because the guy had gauges. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's against the law for doctors to have gauges. Yeah, yeah. It probably is. I would love to.

He should have. I always think about funny things for prostate or test. I think the funniest would be, you know, those things you pull out where the clowns pull the hankies out? But just have one, because there's no way they're going to go past the one. They're just going to assume that there's a whole chain of hankies died. Yeah, there's no way we're doing that. I hate the doctors, though. Even now, I'm like, eh.

I've been putting off going to the doctor for, like, three years. Well, the problem is, like, once you don't go for, like, two years, you're dying. you're actually dying and they tell you. Yeah. When you're a kid, it doesn't matter. My favorite was for years, I thought I had ball cancer because I felt like the testicular cancer bump. Yeah.

It was the bump, sorry. It was the epidemist. Whatever hold your balls to your dick or whatever? And I thought that that bump was testicular cancer. So I was like, just being nice to everybody in my life. And I was like, great mother. And I'm just like, I'm just like, I'm going to die. I'm just assuming I was like, I don't want them to cut my balls off,

so I'll just die of cancer. Yeah. At least you'd be a great singer, dude, if they did. Oh, yeah, yeah. Wasn't that was a thing before Michael Jackson, right? That was way, way back. This is like before Jesus. Yeah, yeah. Man, it's crazy how much they valued singing back then.

Now they have a whole TV show. That would be hilarious to have a eunuch on the voice. This is the voice. My dad cut my balls off. They're like phenomenal. We could see where you get it from. But those guys, they were called Castrati. And they were considered the rock stars of that time.

They really were. They were like, they pulled all the chicks and stuff. I don't know what they did with them, but, you know. Well, I doubt they cut the dick off,

too. They probably just cut your dick. No, no, you still got the dick. And honestly, without balls, your dick probably looks pretty huge.

Mass. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's kind of a good gig, not happening. They're like, you're never going to be able to get anybody

pregnant. You're going to be the best singer in this town. Yeah. Oh, no. Yeah. I wish I could at least, like, shrink my balls a little bit.

Really? A lot of it. You got some big old clankers down there? Yeah, hang, too. Wow, dude. How old are you? 45? Yeah.

How low do they go? It runs in the family. How do you know that? How do you think I know? You ask your dad those questions? Ask. You've seen it. Wow.

Yeah, my brother too. It's just all long ball family. Wow. So they're going to have like some floaters, you think? Tiny tiny. Well, that is... I would love to get like tight skin on my body.

Yeah. Yeah, maybe you can get some of your ball sack added to your penis. That's great. It's like a, like, just kind of staple it all up. And that wouldn't be bad. Just have like a weird ring of skin at the end. Like, a reverse skin. Yeah, they give you force skin.

It's not what I wanted. They're like, I was sorry. I thought we wanted to recircumcise your penis. Just a flappy, like, ball. Or skin. Doesn't make any sense. They put like one of the actual balls up there. There is a surgery.

I can't be anymore. Yeah. There is a surgery where they do re-circumcise your penis. But every time they got to ask it probably for it. Are you sure you want this? Yeah, yeah. Because that seems like I don't know why you'd want that. That's pretty fun.

It's just unpopular in American culture. But apparently it's different. Like I was asking somebody, I was like, okay. So in Australia or like wherever, if you, because everybody's uncircumcised everywhere besides America, basically. They're like, do the girls get grossed out by age? circumcised dicks there and they're like, no. So it's like, that's really, because only America were grossed at by uncircumcised dicks, but in other

countries, they just don't care at all. Yeah, once you're doing, so if you're uncircumcised, you're basically good in every country. Okay. Yeah, but if you're a international passport, do they look at us like a like a less lesser man? No, no, no, no, no. Okay. They're like, yeah, we don't really care about the stuff over there.

I'm like, it's the biggest deal here. It's all the rage. It's like one of the few things we care about. Yeah, I wonder if there's like a different flavor. We'd have to consult the lady. We could take a trip over to Phoenix. Yeah, right across the street. But, yeah, I wonder, there probably is.

There's some, like, built-in, uh, little spice, little spice in there. It's like when people, like, discuss cheese and say, like, it's got a nutty flavor to it. I've always, like, the idea of force, it seems like it'd be perfect for fitting, like, bags of cocaine in there, like little ones. Oh, without a doubt. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. That's how they get it over here.

That's why Mexico is number one smuggly because they're uncircised. All of them. Yeah, yeah. That's how it happens. I think we don't really utilize our dicks in enough ways. Okay, what other ways you think we could be utilizing them? Well, what's the whole thing about like a kickstand at night so you don't like roll over too much? Just dig it in the bed, cut a hole in your mattress and just kind of like face down.

You have to take a Viagra to go to sleep. It's like a rudder or whatever those rudders are on like a surfboard. Oh, yeah, like the shit. in, yeah. Yeah, swimmers, so they go to a straight line. Or during the backstrokes, so they know, like, it's like a shark thing you see, just swimming across the pool. You grew up, was swimming like a base, where we grew up swimming like you had to take

swim classes. Did you have to take swim classes growing up? Yeah, when I was really young. Yeah. I never took swim classes, but my grandpa was big into swimming, so we used to do this thing. Did he wear one of those outfits that's just like the full? Yeah, he didn't know how to swim. He was just big.

to swim. I think it's great that other people were doing it. He had like a full-length in-ground pool that he built himself. In-ground? In-ground?

It was like a nice like an in-ground, like nice like probably 40 feet long pool. Oh shit, okay. And when we were kids, we would have to swim there and back and if we did it,

we would get a speedo. Okay. That was a big reward. I think your grandpa was a benefit. He'd let you put clothes on. No, dude. He just like putting his grandkids

and proper swimming entire is all. Speedos weren't even popular in his day. So he's just attached to 19-ease fashion. Dude, they were popular in his day. No, they weren't. Do you realize when his day is? When?

Like, 1930. People didn't wear Speedos then. Really? No, people wore like the baggiest swim trunks ever. What, like the balls in the 80s? 80s is when Speedos came out. Oh.

I'm guessing. I don't know. Well, or 70s. Let's see. He's about 90. two or something or other. Yeah, so his style was like, they were like, they basically would wear like overalls into the beach. Like these weird like...

Right, but if we swam a lap and got a pair of overalls, that would have been no incentive at all to do it. Was your grandma still around during this time? She was there for about half of it. She was there. She was there when we swam to one side of the pool. By the time we were back, she was dead. Grandma's dead.

Yeah. grandma, I've always said this, grandmas and babies are like inanimate objects to me. I don't know why I wouldn't say, what? It's sad, but there's a part of me that's like, and joke, okay, so like, I know that when babies die, it's very sad. I know when grandma's died, it's very sad. But if somebody says, I push my grandma down the stairs or I threw a baby down the stairs, as a joke, it seems so inanimate. Compared to, I threw my cousin down the stairs, I push my girlfriend. You're almost like, ooh, man, that joke's a little edgy.

You don't hit your girlfriend, but somebody's like, I punted a baby, and you're like, ha, that's funny. But in reality, you'd be like, this is a disaster. I think it's like a bridge too far. Yeah, yeah, because it's almost so ridiculous. But also, like, there's such a lack of life in the eyes of a baby and a grandma. I would argue the arm I die of. It was either, I think it was breast cancer,

but it could have been lung cancer because she liked to sneak a couple of marbrose once in a while. How do they even tell breast cancer? Do any doctors really want to touch boobs at that age? I feel like they just kind of like, yeah, that's... Just taste them. A little sour. Yeah, a little sour.

That's a crazy job To touch an old lady boobs off Yeah, I think they go in there like, I have a lump They're like, yeah, that's what's left of your tips Might as well enjoy it. Yeah, give us a little perk. Yeah, count down until you're dead. You could tuck your boobs into your pants.

They look fucking ridiculous. A lump will do you some good at the country club. That's always funny too, because there's old days The boobs get saggier and then the pants get pulled up higher. There's always that thing where like the boob is hanging lower than the belt And you're like, that is a ridiculous look. That is. It's a ridiculous look, I agree.

They don't like that. I'm not, it's not really my taste. It's been a fashion grant. I don't like the fashion grand. It just gets kind of sad at that point. Yeah, look at me. I wear, I wear fucking Nike's. The one that are like so tucked back that it looks like they're traveling at the speed of light.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, it's disgusting. Yeah. There's that one, she might be dead now, but I guess a pot grainy. Yeah, a couple years ago, she was all over Instagram and shit. Yeah, that's, yeah. Just like a fucking slut. Yeah.

Yuck. Women in their bodies. I was like, how dare you? Did you guys see that? Oh, by the way, I said one of my funniest, well, I'm going to do this to my producer because he's not going to hear this episode until I send it. So me and Dan are starting a podcast,

and in the file I sent him of it, I sent him just to old ladies hairy naked. I said it the first file. He's like, thanks, man. I appreciate it a lot. And the second file he's going to see. By the way, when I said this to my producer, what's like a good image I should send him?

Because he won't know about it until after he listens. So he will see the image first before he hears any of this. Oh, okay. Well, I'm assuming he's far and beyond the blue waffle. Yeah, of course.

Yeah. He would see that coming. He almost expects to see that in the email. Yeah. Hmm. Old Lady Bush is funny. Old man, Dick is... I think you should look up

a really fat guy with a really, really tiny beans. That's a good one. That's a good one too. Yeah, yeah. That's never not funny. Yeah. And like those people, like,

when you have a peep, that's really tiny. I'm not talking about small. I'm talking about like your light, you look at yourself in the mirror and you're like, I need to do something

with my life. It's to feel, to feel something. Yeah, that's when you start to get into those like porn category or those like fetish categories. Like,

you know, like they'll show like videos of people who are like, I want to like wear a diaper and for someone to cover me in feces. Yeah, those guys never have a hog on them.

That's true. Yeah, yeah. So like, I feel like, you could find a picture. How many of you have you seen? Let's move past that. I feel like you could definitely find a picture of a guy with a tiny little pecker

doing something pretty you know, wild. Pretty wild. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Dude, you know what you should do, find someone who looks like Homer Simpson. Okay, it seems like a lot. Like painted themselves yellow. Oh, that's out there.

Oh, yeah, that is out there. Yeah, like Simpson's porn. Someone did Simpson's porn. But like alive. Because there's always cartoon you see it. Yeah, yeah. The cartoon one sucks. dude. When it's like Lois Griffin get fucked

but then it's just like it's almost like a marionette of her they just like move her arms and they just take they take like voice clips she's like oh Peyta

oh Peyton you're like season 8 episode four I know you guys sold that you didn't actually get Seth McFarland involved in this production I like to hear

upset about it she's not that hard to draw yeah that's a good point yeah you could just recreate the whole thing yeah

and there's Cleveland it's always Cleveland fucking Lois and then Peter's like, wow, why it's that? Yeah,

yeah, yeah. But it's always just a picture. I just assume that's what they sound like. Yeah. I don't think I've ever seen

Peter fucking Lois in any of those. No, because nobody wants to see that. They don't want to see, they all want to see quag- I want to see romance? Yeah,

but I've seen like, I've seen like Meg walk in on Peter jerking off. Oh yeah. That's definitely one. That's a fun one. Yeah,

yeah, yeah. And all of them have massive penises in those. Yeah, they're almost like, like the size of them. Yeah, I don't know if it's like the perspective of where the photo is taken.

But like they're just holding like what seems to be like a Hess fired. It's a hoagie. Yeah. It's crazy. He's crazy. He's like, he comes in just to draw the penis of Peter because he's like, this is an area of the cartoon that we can't show on Bob. I want to voice the penis. Yeah.

I want to voice the penis. Dude, he's a talent. Wait, he's what? He's a talent. Oh, he's amazing. Yeah. He also seems very cool. Like, it's like he, you hear stories about him and like he, he's very liberal, but he's not like a dick about it.

Like everybody that says they talk to him. Like he, I mean, his Twitter is a little. Oh, for sure. So is everybody. But you got anybody's Twitter now. My favorite was, I did see Herschel Walker's big in the news, right? Because he like doing his big anti-abortion stuff, but apparently he's had like tube abortions or something like that. But his son is on there.

And it's funny because his son's like this gay kid who's like, um, it's funny because I saw, like Judd Apato shared a video of Hershal Walker somebody and like, my dad was a piece of shit. But then I click on the rest of Hersher Walker's Jr. Or whatever name is Walker's videos.

And they're all, he's like a gay conservative basically. So it's funny that Judd Abato like shared that having no idea. Like the rest of it is kind of dope. In fun ways, he's like, fuck woke shit.

Let's all be fucking gay. But he's like, it's fun. I'm like, I'm always a fan of somebody that's like pushing against. They should put him in bros. Yeah,

yeah. Yeah, yeah, exactly. Yeah. Dude, they should, I think abortion you should be, the rule should be you get one. And then that's it. And then it's like, you learned your lesson? Yeah.

Don't get raped again, bitch. Carry a taser. Don't trust your uncle. It is crazy what they are like with tasers though, or like stuff. You'd see legal to have a taser in New York City. And my girlfriend went to a bar the other night with us, and they took her pepper spray away from her, which is like wild. Yeah. And I saw a little person get kicked out of the bar.

It was pretty funny night. That's great. The scroger just sprays a little. the person of the face. Sorry, I needed that. No pepper spray. Or little people. It was so funny, too, because the little... Nothing compact. The person was getting, like, kicked out of the bar, and he just stuck his heels into the ground. He's like, I'm not going. It was the funniest.

Because it was like, dude, there's a zero percent chance. Like, it was funny on, they're red in two because they're like, we just drag a little... We look like... Pick them up. They might as well have because they just like... He's like, I'm not going anywhere. And then they're... I'm adding the voice. I didn't hear him say anything. But we know. Yeah, we know.

They should have like a suction thing. It's like, grab some by the head. It's like, come on. Hey, what are you doing? Ah, come on. They have a claw. Yeah. These things are rigged every time.

Somebody grease them. Somebody definitely greased them. Can someone hit the side of it? Yeah. Does anyone have a quarter? I've got to get this guy out of here. That would be so good. I used to cheat so much.

I love the claw machines, but I used to cheat. I would take, like, straws. Because one time I got one, like a gold necklace, and it landed on the, like, there was like a wall almost. And so then I took a straw. I took like five straws to bowling alley and just stole it from them. But it's cool. I had like a scorpion on it.

I wore for like three months. I'm like, this is who I am now. I like to get for those coolest things. That's sick. Yeah, I'll be like real gold, absolutely. Yes, 100%. Yeah. Got it from bed.

You can tell because it's peeling. That's what real gold does. If you don't take care of your gold, it peels. I went to this British kid. He got expelled from our school because he brought a bullet. That was cool. He wasn't like shooting anybody with it. But he would always like, he'd make friends, you go around and be like, he's $4, mate.

Like he would brag about how rich he was and he just give you like $3. And as a kid, you're like, this guy's the fucking man. He's awesome. And he'd be like, these are real diamonds. I got them for my parents. And he'd like, give his parents jewelry away. And it was funny because, like, one time somebody was like, yo, this isn't legit because, like,

they washed it and it, like, I think it gets destroyed or something like that. And then he was like, oh, fuck, that's my mom's like thing. My mom's a fake. I wanted to be like... The better tits are fake, too. I wanted to be like a jewelry guy when I was a kid because, like, I love rap music. And I didn't... Nobody told me they're like, no, you can't just be a rapper.

You're what? Like, I feel like I saw Eminem and I'm like, why can't everybody just do that? That's a tough conversation I have when you're... With your kid, you're like, you're not black. I don't. I told, dude, I told my parents, because, like, they, they for sure thought I was gay. Yeah. Because I wanted one ear pierced.

I was like, can I just get this? And they're like, no. But, like, this was, like, on their way to taking me to gymnastics. You can't do that. It's too far. Yeah. And I did, like, dude, I did, like, dance stuff when I was, like, really young. You were gay.

I was definitely. You were gay. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I was a gay kid. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But, you know, I really. was kind of sick. I didn't.

Turned the shit around. Dude, just came from Phoenix. Anyway. I, I, uh, I did you guys. Okay,

to be fair, I thought it was cool. I want to learn just how to do a backflip. Dude, it is cool. Don't let fucking. Leave on or whatever is. Yeah,

dude. They, I remember I went as a kid because I was like, I just want to learn how to do a backflip. And they were like, well, we got to do stretching for like an hour.

And I was like, I just want to learn how to do it. I was like, I want to do it back. You were so rock and roll. Yeah, I was like, that's all I wanted to be able to do back. Squirpy and necklace. I just need to do it back. Tell the bullies to fuck off.

Don't fuck with me today, man. We're going to stretch for three hours. Then we're going to try handstands at the end. But the phone pitch were the coolest. Jumping into a pit of like foam. Yeah. That's like the closest thing you get to like having sex. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah, it was amazing. That was a phenomenal experience. I never wanted to do a backflip. I could do a front flip on a trampoline. That's like all I. And I've landed it like six times. And every time I was like,

I'm going to tell everybody I can land it every time. Because when you're like nine, I like that these are real statistics. It's crazy. It's crazy about breaking his track of it. My job, I couldn't contract with anything. Like, can you enter this donation for $10?

I'm like, yeah, I'll get a rat. What were you saying, Levi? My dad wouldn't let me do any of, that kind of shit. Not because, like, he was gay. He would say, like, everything was, like, run by pedophiles, basically. That's a great father. It's a smart man.

Turns out he was very right. Yeah. I was like, I want to get into karate. He's like, no, it's pedophiles. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But, Dad, how am I going to learn to fight the pedophiles? Yeah, yeah. It's the other way.

Dude, karate fighting pedophiles. Whoa. That is a cool idea. That is a cool idea. Why isn't that a movie? I don't know. What do you mean? pedophiles that fight karate or you're saying?

No, no, no, no. A group of ninja kids who have to fight like zombie-like pedophiles. Oh, yeah, or that too. Or that's what I was thinking. Or a bunch of pedophiles just fucking karate chattie chaffirot of kids. That's what I thought. That could be a good at, like,

I'm one of those people, though. The second I have a kid, I'm going to be like, look, a lot of people are going to try to molest you. Like, I'm just going to tell them. I'm going to be up front about that stuff. Let them know, like, what's going on. Listen, you're hot, you're young. I'm not going to say that, but it's like, you're gay. I feel like you got to teach him early. Like, these people are going to be after you,

and you teach him to self-defense moves, some numb. But he'll probably get too trigger happy. And then just, I don't know, he just hits his uncle in the balls, like, first time he meets him. You know, I feel like, you don't want to get him too worried about it, but you be like, hey, just be wary. This is what you look out for. These kinds of glasses, this kinds of mustache, you know.

Don't wear those tight shorts around the, I'm not saying. Run the laser tag. That was a good time. have to. Yeah, dude, I didn't know pedophiles. I didn't know pedophiles. That's it. That's a very expensive for laser tag.

That is expensive to get a lot of side eyes when you're alone at laser tag. Just a 13th birthday party and you? Dude, there is some destroying. Fuck you kids. I'll never forget my favorite thing was one time we were having a sleepover and

this guy, it's like grown man who comes up to us and he's like, oh, what are you guys going to play, spin the bottle later? and I was like, no, or I said something to shit where I was like, it's funny that I was more on top of it than I am now. Like, I was like, bet you like that homo or something like that? And the dude just, it was the funniest thing in the world. Because the dude just like, there's like an attractive woman working latex.

She's like, you fucking nailed it. And I'm like, you know, I don't support being homophobic, but you know, when somebody's calling you out, you're 12. Dude, when you're a kid. This was 2008. Yeah. So, yeah, times are different. I had to.

When you're a kid, you have to defend yourself. Dude. Be homophobic. be racist fight trans people whatever gets you to the top anything you have take your friends

dad's car drunk and blame it on him if you get Scott because if you're in jail you can't be popular yeah maybe yeah maybe I don't know you know anybody in jail

in high school no there were like rumors of uh like a lot of the times like a kid would like get in a bunch of fights and then they'd like transfer him to a different school or something yeah we had one called

accelerated learning a lot of my friends got sent him to Guantanamo he was the baddest boy in this side of the We had one kid I remember he got like a trouble

He'd actually get arrested for fights And like go to jail for fights Because I think his parents Maybe like didn't want to bail him out Or something like that So like he like literally went to jail For like months And then like came back

And I like that is so cool To come back to high school With it from jail That's awesome We had a kid that He was fucking great This kid Chris He would like stand a

everyone like on the second floor and fucking shake his hair because he had horrible dandruff would be like, oh, and all that shit, right? And he was like kind of retarded. But, so he ended up moving to like Ohio or something with his aunt and uncle and his little

cousin. And he ended up going to prison because he murdered his cousin. No way. Yeah. That's my guy I know in jail. Was it like a nice of men where he tried to hug him really hard and killed them. Or is it like an actual plane thing? Apparently. Because they should get one

too. They get like one. Oh yeah. Yeah. One with and you get a real stern talking to. Yeah. Isn't that the plitemisement? He like kills a rabbit and then I remember our teacher being like this is foreshadowing. And then he like grabs the woman too hard and like murder or something like that. Because the

woman tries to rape them right? Yeah, that's another classic that I have not yet. What? Great stories. It's about these two like farm hands. One of them. Yeah, one of them has down. or one's mentally challenged. Anybody's like... Just because they have that big throat, right?

Yeah, that's what it is. It doesn't mean it's all... I mean, isn't it like nationally understood that they have big penises? I mean, it's... I think it's international. Yeah, yeah, yeah, it's everywhere. I think that crosses the Atlantic.

Yeah, Mr. Worldwide. Mr. Worldwide throat. Mr. Worldwide. Wight neck. To be fair, people always has his sunglasses on. We never seen him take them off. What if it was either just for them. It's not that.

It's not blank in here. I mean, that would be something like a downcentriced kid would say all the time. Yeah. Yeah. I know where I'm from. 305. 305. My parents told me that. This is you listen closely to pit bull. This is like random things.

This is a wet cape. Yeah. I also, I almost bought a pit bull phone case today. because I'm like, this is hilarious. It's just different pictures of Pitbull and different angles. I'm like, is it one of those like where you turn and it like gives you like a different. It's like a boomerang.

The original boomerang. That would be fucking awesome, dude. Yeah. I love Pitbull. I have said it's a million times. He needs to be the governor of Florida and flowrider should be the vice governor or wherever. Or maybe for reverse. I'm cool with,

I'm cool with the black governor. I think that would be cool too. Oh, that's good. Yeah. Yeah. We need to work together. Really? You've really changed.

It only took what, 125 episodes? Up for it. I voted for the one last time, and we didn't get him, so... The one... That sounded so bad. I voted for the last one,

and we didn't get them. But it was funny, because I remember I very last minute voted because it was between DeSantis and the other guy. I think the other guy was for weed or something like that.

So I was like, cool, cool black guy, four weed about it. Yeah. And then, but I remember the guy, and then I saw a picture of the guy, and I'm like, oh, that guy was in my sandwich shop yesterday.

He was a fucking dick. Oh, really? He, like, was in a hotel room with, like, a... male prostitute that died of drugs or something. Yeah, he was about to be, he ran against DeSantis a couple years ago. Was it a black dude? Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Black dudes and male prostitutes. Yeah, yeah, but I remember it was so annoying because I was like, I voted for him and I was like, oh, this guy's cool. Governor Gillum, Andrew Gillum was his name. But I remember, it was so annoying because I saw him on TV. From Gillum and Keyes. Yeah, yeah, yeah, from the sketch show. But I saw him.

Shut up, dude. I remember I saw him on TV the next day and I'm like, That guy came into my sub shop and was such a dick for like no. He was like, yeah, I'm running for governor. And I was like, and I don't know why the next day I didn't put it together. For some reason, I just didn't realize he was the asshole. What sandwich shop did you work? I worked at which which superior sandwiches.

What the fuck? Shapiro sandwiches. Superior. Oh. Oh. Superior. It's the best sandwiches in all of the land. I thought it was Shapiro.

Yeah, yeah. We cannot have fun. All right. I'm surprised he went in there. I'm surprised he went in there. There's no pork. Allowed here. Yeah.

Oh, Shapiro opening a sandwich up. False. That's not what you want. That's what the liberal media tells you you want in your sandwich. That's not, but ketchup is not good on sandwiches. That sandwich is too wet. I can't put that much wet at a sandwich. I got to start tuning into him because I'll tune into these service up here and here because it's fun.

But, yeah, I want to tune into him and see what he has to say about that. He's just one of those guys you got to check in with once in a while. It's always funny. He used to be like, where has this ship gone? Yeah, yeah. It's the same thing with, what's the one with Tim Pool? that guy's annoying I think it's just Tim pool

that guy's annoying a shit he's always getting into something about nonsense and you're like dude who cares he's just so cunty about things he's like well did you see what happened today yeah

yeah Biden made a fucking fool out of himself dude you're wearing a beanie yeah yeah you're like it's summer yeah that's sad dude and then he's like we should go a skateboard after this yeah

I hate when dude because like conservatives had such a good chance to be cool oh they fucking ruined they fucking ruined it they went for the nerdy, cunty thing

that the Democrats did. Yeah, it's so like just not going, so annoyed, it's always like reactionary to gay stuff. I'm like, I don't care what gay stuff has happened anywhere. I don't, who cares? Like you literally, you look so ridiculous when you're like, always like, I'm not homophobic, but

this is the kind of movie we want our kids watching. I'm like, I, who can't? But they want things going in their ass? I know personally, I want things coming out my ass. this has been Gutfeld. Is that what Goodfell? No. Dude, I write into Gutfeld like once in a while.

I send like five jokes. And then I just write this thing. I'm like, hey, just, you know, you can use any of these jokes. I was like, I don't even. I was like, I don't watch your show. So I'm never going to know. Just use them, whatever. Have you ever watched that show?

It's the number one late night show. It is so unfunny. Yeah. It's the number one late night show? It's the number one because if you think about it, all the other late nights are,

you know, like liberal. Yeah. So there's only one conservative Yeah. And they just want to, they just want to hear their jabs at Joey B.

So. Yeah, yeah. Who, by the way, this, everything goes full, full circle for me. So Biden first got elected.

I'm like, oh, this guy fucking sucks, right? Now, love him. You know what I mean? I'm like,

he's out of his mind. I love it. He's fun. He's, a blast and his son is fucking sick. His son is sick. He's literally the man. I'm like, I'm like this, like, it's the same thing they have with Trump

when he first got liked that. I was like, this guy's the worst. And I didn't vote for him. I didn't vote for Biden either. And I'm like, oh, wait, no, this guy's fun. Like, you're like, after years, once everybody starts hating them, that's when I start liking them. Because I'm just a douchebacketrarian. Like, whatever people, yeah, I do the same thing.

Like, it is, there's that one thing. I've used that one of two, there's one where he's in like a car lot. He's like, is a Tesla. And in the future, everybody's going to be driving one of these. And then you see him drive, but then the video ends like three seconds afterwards.

There's no possible way he drives. There's no possible way that car stopped before hitting a fire ride. Slowly rolled. The same way that bike, the same way he got off the bike. The door swings up and he just rolls out of the Tesla. Joe,

Joe, are you okay? Yeah, I just fell asleep for a second. What's the big deal? I just needed a nap really quick. I thought these things drive themselves. Elon Baskins got to told me that the sink

droves itself. Do you think he wears diapers? Yes. He better, dude. He'd better. He's nothing shit in his pants constantly. Yeah. That would be a funny.

Just the naked debates. Him versus Trump. Biden would win, I think. I bet you guys surprised it. Because Biden, He's got... Maybe he does, but he definitely looks better naked than Trump does. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I don't know about DeSantis at his sexy body, dude. I don't know. I don't even know what he looks like. Yeah, yeah, he's tan. He's tan. He's a tan guy. Is he bald? No, he's got plenty of hair. Oh, really? Probably looks good naked. I'm getting harder as we...

Yeah. It is funny, though, the look it binds out, because I'm like, it's my grandma had Alzheimer's, it's that same blanket. You know what it is. You're like, trust me, he doesn't have to say anything. You're like, I can tell just that stare. you're like, that is not somebody to say any idea what's going on. For sure. But he's our president. He's our president. I'm fucking respect. I would go to war for him.

Dude, what do you? Like, how does this end? I'm so four. Like, everybody's so freaked out. They're like, we can't have him good for many years. It's when we can't do it. No, let's see.

I don't want the camera to get off of him. We need more coverage of him. I want him. I want him, yeah. No, I want him for more years because I want him to, like, be so close to the afterlife that we need to tie him to the ground.

he's just like floating in the air we're like Joe he's like what is going who is that please let me die let me jack you're taking it anymore like no we need you to sign this piece trie

piece of what pumpkin pumpkin that's what you send it a gutfeld now listen dude you know how fun it would be if like all three of us just wrote jokes all day

for the gut. They're just so fun. Dude, it would be so much fun. I guess what is the equivalency? Like the daily show? It's called, uh, oh,

dude, I don't even know. I think as Trevor Noah is quitting, right? Which everybody's so disappointed about. Oh, yeah. That hurts.

I mean, every day, I don't even know what to. I think people just get excited because they think it's like a good job. Like, everyone just wants that job. I think it's one of those things like,

like once you step through the door, you're like, oh, fuck, I can't believe I got to do this. Oh, yeah. Well, my favorite is, he's with Doolipa. And for a little bit, I was like,

oh, really, she's getting out. And, like, he's probably the most sincere, genuine, good person in Hollywood. That's why he's not funny. But, like,

that's not why he's not. But, you know what I mean? I'm like, like, I was thinking about it. Like, he's probably, like, a really good guy. Yeah, maybe. Like, there's no way

he's just a piece of shit. I don't think you need to be a good guy to get with Doolipa, though. No, but I'm saying, we're talking about from her point. You can be an asshole. You just need to be able to dance. Like what makes you?

Because in my mind, I'm like, he's a horrible comedian. Why would somebody who wanted to date you? Nobody gives a fuck about. Yeah. I guess like Dave Chappelle told him, because he was like opening for Chappelle one time. And he thought to himself, he's like, why am I doing this? I'm not a good comedian, which is funny. Yeah.

And Dave Chappelle was like, I didn't bring you because you were good. I brought you because you were interesting. Oh. Yeah. And he's like, wait, thanks. Wow. That was a very interesting set you had today. he's like, it's you.

We have a girl with no arms. We just think we have cool hair. That's it. It's like the fucking lady last night. Lady last night told me, I liked your courage. I'm like, what about my fucking jokes?

It's really brave that you got up there. Good job. You should be very proud of yourself. My hair thing is totally unrelated, but we were out this weekend. Did some karaoke, tore it the fuck up. Yeah, dude.

I was so pissed at one of my friends. What did you sing? I believe in miracles. I did three songs. I did Home Sweet Home by Motley Crew. And then I did, yeah. My annoying part is I went with two white guys. And they were both like the second that the room's all black, they're like, well, maybe we should do like Mariah Carey or something.

I'm like, do you fucking. I don't want a lot for Christmas. No, no. I was like, come on. They were like, they were like, let's do something. I'm like, no, we're sticking to our guns. Yeah, dude. You gotta show up for the boys.

Of course. Turns out I was not using correct microphone technique. And this guy was covering his ears. And I was like, what? I started talking shit to this guy out of States. Because I thought that he was covering his ears because my singing was bad. But turns out was just very loud. So he was just covering his ears.

So I was like, oh, this is too laugh for you? How about you? Talk shit to my fucking face. I'm just yelling at this guy. Just covering his ears. I'm like, go ahead. It's like, it's like, home sweet. I'm on my mom.

Hey, yeah, you, pussy, furrow. Say shit. Say shit to me. I fucking dare you. I fucking dare you. Get a little closer. It's just horrible. I like you just like talking shit. And then every once in a while, I'll be like, oh, sweet. Go ahead. Right to my face. I'm right fucking here.

And the words are going on the screen. I'm just not singing them. And then the guy, I was like, that's what talk shit. See what happens. And then I get offstage. And then my girlfriend's like, yeah, no, you were yelling into the microphone. It was horrible. It hurt everybody's ears. physically. Like I was not, I mean, you were a bad

singer, of course, but that's not what. I thought he was just trying to be like sassy or something, be like a dick. And, uh, yeah, no, you just, yeah, that was the whole thing. And then we sung Scars by Pop Roach and fucking murder, obliterated the place. Everybody loved it. I did like a jump off the stage, right? It was about to go, go.

Fix! Yo, Sam! Just like, I jumped and I knew right when it was gonna hit it, boom. And then I ended with, uh, one last breath by Creed. I do basically the same song. the scorpion necklace. You rock so hard, dude. You imagine the backflip off the stage to end.

That would be amazing. Go! You finally land it. Thanks. You're like, wait, you guys got some phone pit here. You just plant the kiss. The black people are like, you can say it. Yeah.

You can say it. But it was somebody. the way there we were listening to the radio and do you have Funkmaster Flex? He's like the big radio DJ in New York. Yeah. He was having like a manic episode. It sounded like it was the funniest thing where he goes, yeah, yeah, we got French Montana coming up. This is the

best song of the year. Blah, blah, blah. I think is French Montana dead or something? Or maybe something happened with him. I don't know. I don't remember what happened, but he starts playing the song and then right in the middle he's like, yeah. And every, like, we counted. He didn't get 10 seconds and he goes, that's what's up.

And like literally was like, this is a great song. And every four seconds he interrupted it and then started talking about some big Thanksgiving party and like just in the middle of the song it was the funny thing I've heard because he talked about how awesome the song is. Yeah. Did not like every four seconds were just like, that's why we're here. And yeah.

Do they do that on like Jamaican radio stations? Like if you ever go to like get like jerk chicken somewhere yeah. Yeah. Yeah. In the restaurant they'll just have like a, it'll just be like a song that's like kind of a peaceful song and then the guy just comes in. He's like, bingo dada, d'a, brung,

the brungunga. Yeah. It's like, what are you saying? Yeah, yeah, yeah. It doesn't sound peaceful. Whatever it is. You can follow us on the Michael good.

It was so funny because I was like, Patty hasn't gotten racist with this yet. It doesn't sound peaceful. I think I have a rash breaking out because of it. Because of the song? No, because I haven't done something racist. You ever get Chinese food, Patty?

What about that? I have. Actually, funny enough, there's this Chinese restaurant near my apartment called Chang Hong. Yeah. And it's so close to Ching Chong. It's like, it's almost like they're like, we're not Ching Chong. Oh, no, no, no, no, try it. Go ahead.

Yeah. Say the name three times first. Ching Hong? Chang Hong. So if you switch out even close, you just make it. No, no, no, no, no. It sounds different. It sounds the same to you because you're racist.

No, it's not. No. listen to this. If you switch out the A and Chang with an eye, and then you throw a C in front of Hong. Sorry about different words. Ching Chang, motherfucker. That was a real bridge there. Yeah, you know, they call me the, uh, the, uh, the, uh, the Mario Cuomo of, uh, comedy.

Oh, because the bridge. You build a bridge. Yeah. Not because of anything else. This is the most brain that I've ever been on an episode. Not folks. Oh, well, dude, you pick. You carried me through the first 25 minutes.

I forgive you. Oh, thanks, dude. Glad I'm forgetting. Yeah, you come in the morning, you got up by guys, you better be bringing fucking heat. Yeah, dude. I had all my notes ready to go.

I think we'll wrap it up here. Ching Chang, that was a good one. I think that's... Yeah, that was the only one I had to prepare. By the way, I also thought I was like, they're going to love this radio thing. I realized I was telling it. I was like, yeah, I had to have heard the thing to get what is a joke.

Like I just made note. You know what I was just like, yeah, this just was not. Yeah. Yeah. That's right. Dude, if anyone listens this far into the podcast, I don't think they're looking for gems. Yeah. They're more looking for plug.

They're looking at where Levi White performs. Yeah, yeah. Where are you performing? Oh, dude, you know me fucking comedy shop and comedy shop. Nice. Yeah, yeah. I haven't really about laughing so hard. You couldn't hear it.

Yeah, we fucking, we got a. fart out of Michael Good. Yeah. We did. That's crushing. The whole audience is diary. Yeah, that's like you killed. That would be great.

Fucking applause break. I want to fart break. Just everybody stops laughing and they all lean over. That's like the equivalent of like an outdoor comedy show when they honk their horn. Just like this is a best. Somebody walks and it's like, it smells like shit in here. Who's killing? Yeah.

that would be great. Anyway, where are you performing, Patty? Oh, I don't perform. What open mic are you performing at?

I perform, uh, oh, God, when is this coming out? Um, Sunday. Oh,

the mic, the phone cover. I just, I smelled it. All right. Well, I don't know. Look,

look, look, guys, just follow me on Instagram at Patty is funky. Um, I post some stuff there. Everyone's at a, like,

blue moon. Oh, I haven't even talked about how I was escorted out of the building in my job. I'll talk about that later. What? I was fired, but I guess I'm doing two podcasts. No, I don't know what I said on what episode. Oh, I have to bat it on one. But yeah, not on this, but.

Oh, so these guys don't know that you were fired? They could probably assume, you know, such a thing. It was the funny. I'll talk about it on the next episode. Okay. Yep. Is that all you guys want to promote? It's all I got.

All right. Thank you.