Morning Good - Wrap It Up - Episode 309

Episode Date: March 29, 2026

Guy David Knoll and Ryan O'Toole join the show for today's episode. They talk about the cornhole shooting, NYU protests, and trusting Superman Jr. with your life. Thanks to Ryan for coming back on the show and to Guy for joining for the first time. You can find Ryan on previous episodes of the show or hit the links down below for even more.Ryan is on Instagram @itsryanotoole and hosts his own podcast, The Ryan O'Toole Podcast. Guy is on Instagram @guydavidknollcomedy and just filmed a pilot for a show called Old Heads. Definitely check out the pilot on YouTube and follow Guy for more funny stuff.As always, find Michael Good on Instagram @michaelgoodcomedy and on Twitter @agoodmichael. Check out the show on YouTube and follow the official Instagram page @morninggoodpodcast.

Thanks for the F-Shack. I love dirty mic and the boys. Hey, are you dirty mic and the boys? How you know who we are? What's this? They called the podcast? Morning, very good. Oh, I love it.

Hey, welcome to the earth. Thanks. Welcome to morning. We're here with Rhino Tool. Most people are audio listeners, but he just did it. What up? He did a gang sign. He just sign language, the N-word.

Oh, yes. and we're with also Guy David Null. Hi. Yeah, no, making flyers can be annoying because it's like, you got to resize all the head, and I put, all the heads. You got to resize all the head, you get on your motherfuck fucking dick. No, it's like, you got to resize all the fucking heads, and I put it to chat CBT, and it just made everybody look hotter,

and I'm like, this is so offensive. I can't post a flyer. Why is it offensive? Because it looks like I edited their faces. It was like you made them to try to look more appealing for the stuff. So would you not use chat TBT? No, because it doesn't fucking work that way. I was like, damn, dude.

I was like, but it was like, imagine if there's a flyer of you and it made you more tan and gave you like a clavicular style like face. Yeah, you look like a fucking douche. I was like, I can't do that. That would not be great. Not optimal. Especially with women. It like took off like 10 pounds off of every woman.

I'm like, I can't be put. They do that shit anyways. I'm serious. The amount of girls I see where their photos are clearly edited. It's like, okay, I know what you do. I've had a girlfriend who's edited their photos. using apps. So it's like,

but you can just tell. Well, sometimes it's just really funny when it's like insanely obvious. It's like, oh, you literally like, you don't look like a human being.

You look like an anime character. Yeah, I see on like LinkedIn. A lot of people have AI, like profile pictures. They look like cartoons. Like they don't, you can tell it's not a real,

but it's like, it's like they look like 65% human and then like 35 cartoon. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's like, it's like,

it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, Princess Fiona like before she became green. It's also because no one gets headshots. Yeah, yeah.

The last headshot they have is from high school, which is the yearbook. So you'll either see like a 42-year-old guy with like wearing a tuxedo. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Or you'll just see the AI photo where you're like, I don't know what's better here in this situation. I mean, oh, yeah. Mine was, I can hold my clothes. My was fucking Marty Grau. Dude, after, like I went to Marty Grau and then my cousin is a photographer.

So she's like, we'll take pictures of you. So I'm just like bloated and like, I'm wearing a suit. I'm just like, ugh. But my comedy had I'm still fatter in it I'm just keeping it I'm like I'm not changing It's way more fun

If I'm fat or the picture Yeah yeah It's much funny Who really gives this shit honestly Yeah I mean like that is the thing too It's like I'll be like the Mike and Molly guy

Where everybody shows up Yeah yeah yeah And everyone's like whoa Yeah he's skinny now He's super skinny Really? Yeah yeah yeah He's like he looks like a normal

I mean not that fat people aren't normal But like he looks like No no they're not They're enemies of this show Now that I lost weight No fat listeners But he looks like a normal

He was kind of built like me You know good for him Good for him But some people look really weird When they lose too much Like I saw one of those chicks from my Whatever pound Ton life or whatever

Yes And then she looks like a Chucky doll now Because you didn't notice how short she was Yeah Because you're noticing how wide she is And then Oh we got a surprise appearance from me Our roommate

We've got to beep his nose name now. The worst is he'll come in here and eat food and watch the podcast, and it's like the most unamused live audience, and it just, it makes me more uncomfortable than anything I've ever experienced. I would rather Jake watch me. No, dude, it just, it just fucking makes me, because you're like, they're probably giggling at home, and you see him his straight face. Yeah, it's just, I had a situation like that when I was shooting my, my, uh, the pilot,

that I made? Yes, old heads, by the way. Yeah. Go check it out. And, you know,

I did a oneer in it. And what's a oneer? Like one shot where we go through the entire club and I do my closing joke in the oneer on stage. And imagine having to do a joke from your act

10 times in a row with an audience that has to go and they're like, all right, now you have to act like it's funny again. Oh, that's terrible. I wanted to kill myself.

It's like, I was so miserable. I was like, oh my God, this is the worst. That's acting, though, you know? It's like, it doesn't, like, they're not going to laugh because you're funny. They're going to laugh because that's what the script says. That's what the script says, yeah.

That's what it is. Remember that movie that was that World War One movie where it was like one shot the entire time? 1970? Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's crazy to think they filmed an entire movie. In one shot. Wasn't it edited? I'm sure it was.

Well, it was it? I think it was like it looked like it was one shot, but they kind of like they did, like, they did special cuts. Yeah, okay. You know, but yeah, no, it's an impressive. It's crazy when you see that in a show, though, and you're like, damn, the camera's just running. Like, there's nothing cutting out, nothing or anything.

Like, people are still going. That's what this is right here. We're a wild job. No, no, no, we take multiple edits. We have guys to the same thing 10 times. Say that with a little more pride in it. Why, what usually gets edited out in here? Oh, nothing.

The fact that Michael Good and Jake Timothy live at 4th. In Brooklyn, New York. Wait, what did you say? Did I get the... I don't know. Oh, okay, yeah. We'll beat all that. I love him just giving me work to gut it.

It's like, yeah, yeah, yeah. Dude, I'm going to get murdered by a foot fetish guy. He's going to cut my feet off. Oh, good God. Spank to it. It'll be a nightmare, dude. What's been going on in this neighborhood? Any crime or anything out here?

Oh, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, it's acidic down there, so I don't really hear much from there. But, I mean, I don't know. Like, not really crime. Just people yelling. you got anything happened this week

anyone try breaking in here what is it yeah a lot of people screaming I mean this neighborhood has gone downhill once they started doing construction it was gone downhill when you moved in here no no it was fine

and then they tried to do construction on the bridge and then homeless guys are like oh I guess I have a house now right under the bridge why they just live in there now yeah it's just an overpass yeah what a potty and they got all these like fucking weird

cyberpunk fucking Dr. Seuss machines going on. You just see like a metal box with like all these tubes coming out of your I don't know what the fuck that thing does. They do construction overnight? Not overnight but like they really aren't respecting my hangovers. Let's do it at 10 a.m. on a Saturday. I'm like, you know what I got up to last night. Do you remember the construction next to your old house?

How loud. Dude, they literally turned like a little block of like small regular buildings like in where we live like into now. it's like a fucking 40-story like condo thing right but like they like blasted the ground like I don't know what

like 40 or 50 feet because there's parking underneath at least at least it was fucking loud they're just terraforming it like a DC villain like I understand like building like building shake when like stuff's going on

but like it was I thought it was like unsafe it was shaking Matt. I was like, dude, they're gonna, like, hit the rock there,

and it's gonna fucking glass. It was so loud. I've had some bed. I had, I lived in an apartment Washington Heights, and the ceiling literally started falling in.

So every, and sometimes I'd get bored and I would just throw shit. To see, I was like, I'd just throw shit like that. You know how strong the roof is? Yeah,

to see, and it would just fall. It just started like, and it was in the room, so I'd wake up, I'd just hear. And it was really sad because I was sleeping on an air mattress too.

So what doesn't even below you. There's just going to be like a little Hispanic Venezuelan girl's going to fall through. Yeah. I decided to throw a lock at the ceiling. It just collapsed. It just like, it was just like mold or sewing it just started falling apart. Oh. And I just, I remember I'd ask the guy who was living with.

I was like, you're going to fix that? He's like, nah. I'm good, you know. Did it end up fully collapsing? In the end? Not fully, but just it just kept falling. And then I moved out eventually because I was like, all right, this is starting to look a little crazy. that's a fun AI prank I played on

our roommate I started taking pictures on on Grong and be like make it look at the ceiling's falling in and I did it in that one that did in my room then eventually by the time

I got to his room I had like a homeless guy sitting in his bed and I made it look like the homeless guy's face and stuff funny he looked like he was mad at you for like taking a picture of him

he like fell through the ceiling did the guy believe it did the guy did believe it till the homeless guy yeah yeah Yeah, yeah, yeah, he's really serious. Yeah, I got the other one the other day. There was a package.

He's like, it's really fragile. He could get my package to the mail room, and I'm like, Grog, make this look like it was beating the shit out. And I'm like, everything should be fine inside. And then I have them take pictures of these glass cups that are just like destroyed and stuff like that. It's fun to do shit like that. It's a good dive. I like, is that one of those rings?

That's not one of those. I saw, aura ring. Okay, no, I thought it was one of those. What's that? Like, matches like you sleep and stress and like, hot rate and stuff like that. How much it costs? With like a one year, you gotta like, all in all for everything. It was like, I don't know, 300 bucks maybe.

I'll never buy that. I saw the, there's a thing, imagine four rings. And like, it looks like, imagine like you put on your finger four rings. Yeah. It turns into fucking brass knuckles. And I'm like, dude, I want that. That's cool. Yeah, I want more weapons, dude, just because of the shit I see. Or a weapon, yeah. Yeah, I can't fight a man regularly.

Yeah, you gotta have the aura brass knuckle, just off, you know. They got gloves like that, too. They just like winter gloves, and there's just fucking steel inside of them. Oh, that's fucking... Oh, that's seen that. I've seen ads to them. Yeah, I feel like those are definitely illegal. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Like, if you hit somebody in the face, like, you get in trouble. If you hit somebody in the face with that, like, I'm pretty sure... The fatality. You're like going to jail. Yeah, you could kill somebody. I also like that my algorithm just knows I'm a pussy. It's like, I know you fucking avoid it. We could see that there was a, like, a domestic violence that sit on the train,

and we saw on the maps that you moved to the next car. So we're going to go ahead To get you some real weapons That's hysterical I know Citizen App must be lit around here right Oh I don't even have it dude Yeah I had to delete citizen app too Because it's just too much like

It doesn't matter really where you are in the city Someone's always pulling a knife out Or like attacking somebody It doesn't really matter where you are No I couldn't have that I would be so paranoid Yeah it's like even I was getting to the point where I'm like Okay like this is like every fucking 25 minutes

It's something nearby Is Boston worse than New York No You guys just have different types of crap. Isn't there like Asian gangsters there? Yeah, it's wild ass Cambodian people. That's awesome. It's so cool to have more character. They're like

crazy. There's some crazy Vietnamese people and stuff, but the gangs and shit, uh, like it's Cambodian gangs. D.C. was pretty fucking crazy. Wait, are you from? You're from D.C.? I'm from D.C. Okay. Yeah. That was kind of insane. Yeah, people see the crime there. There's, there are kids. There were kids at my high school that got murdered. Like, that was like, that would happen

where you'd be like, oh shit. We had that happen to us, but it was kind of a crazy situation. It was like, these two kids got murdered, but then I think they stole guns from like a gun dealer. Do you want to know the question? One of the assistant principals, I was like, isn't this a tragedy? This one, this kid got shot. Like it was a drive-by shot in the head and his, like, all he's in his house. And the guy's like, nah.

He was like, he was in a gag. That kid showed up late. He was in a gag. I was like, what the fuck? Like, it was like the most. He was got a dress code every day this week. Yeah, yeah, yeah. What happened?

of this gun guy. Oh, so basically, these guys, like, I believe the story is they took guns from, like, a guy who ended up being, like, schizophrenic or something, and then basically he, like, killed these two kids. And then he put him in a storage unit, like a U-Haul thing, lit it on fire. Oh, my God. This guy's gang was so gay. It was called, like, T.HC.

Back when Weed was, like, cool. And so his gang was, like, the THC gang. And then he threw their bodies on, like, a running trail or something. Oh, my God. Yeah, it was pretty brutal. That's horrible. Well, you shouldn't steal guns. guns from people.

Yeah. So the guy got in trouble, right? Yeah, I don't know if they stole the guns, or they still a car that had guns in it. But yeah, it was pretty fucking crazy. It was like, yeah, I don't know. I mean, I am changing after I heard about the quadriplegic guy. Did you hear about that? No, what happened?

Yeah, the cornhole guy? Yeah, yeah. What happened? There's a guy who's a quadriplegic professional cornhole player who apparently murdered a guy in his car, and there's more questions than answers. Yeah, obviously. Everybody's like, what the fuck was he doing? How could that be cut and dry?

That just seems like... Well, he probably had a self-driving car. That is a great point. He probably had a self-driving car. And then I saw him... And a self-shooting gun? I saw him and I'm like, he definitely doesn't have his full limbs, but he had more than I thought he did. Okay, so you got a little bit going on.

But I mean, I still think it'd be hard to fire a weapon with... Dude, it'd be so sick if he had one of those... What's that Tarantino movie? Planet Death or is it? Oh, they grind house. Grindhouse. Yeah, he's just got it like screwed in. Yeah. I swear it wasn't me. He's like, it's on his leg.

Was that grind? No, Planet Terra, right? Was that planetara, right? No, Planet Terra was the car race in one, right? No, that one's death proof. Death proof. Yeah, yeah. I didn't really like either of those, but... I saw it in theater. I thought it was cool because that was like the only time in my life I saw a movie in theaters that was like a true

double feature. Yeah. It was like an intermission in the middle and it was like commercials. It was so cool. Oh, that's awesome. Wait, I didn't finish, does death prove the plots interlock at all? No. Okay.

Oh, so it was just completely separate. Two totally different movies. Oh, that's nice. But it was cool because like, yeah, like the intermission in it. This was like 2008, I think, when that came out, 2007 or something. But we went to the movies and I remember, yeah, I snuck in, remember sneaking into the movies? Oh, yeah. You sneaking the R-rated movie, buy a ticket to like Miami King.

And then you just stayed there all day. Yeah, yeah. I remember the movie I won. wanted to see that day was Aquitine Hunger Force the movie and it wasn't at this theater in Boston so we went to one out in the suburbs and then we just saw Grind House and Disturbia. I like Disturbia. Me too. Yeah, that was a good movie.

I'm still, look, Shailabuff can fight a million more people and I'm like, I like it. Yeah, why are people? I don't think anyone's upset about that. Every time I open the TikTok or something, it's like Shia LaBuff, like with a cigarette in a hotel room just screaming. Yeah, he's awesome. I like it. And he's just like refusing. to be sober and refusing to. He's like,

fuck you. Yeah, he's like, I don't have a drinking problem, dude. I just get drunk and fight people on bourbon. And then I'm just like, you were in holes. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You were in hole. Like, it's hard for me to take this serious. I like that real hole is down here. I like holes. Holes was great. Holes is a good movie. In the book, I remember that was

I read that book in school. I also, I didn't know who he... Sacka, I think his name was. I didn't know it was a book. I thought was just a movie. Oh, no, yeah. It was a a better book than I thought a movie. Really? Yeah. I love that movie. I know that's like cliche to say, but I enjoyed the book way more. No, no.

The soundtrack, though, for the movie was pretty banging, though. Yeah. Well, I also, I didn't know that, like, he grew up a gangster. Like, he grew up in the ghetto. Who did? Shailabuff. Shia LaBuff? Yeah.

Really? I'm not surprised. I mean, I guess it was probably for, like, 10 years. Where did he grow up? Where did he grow up? Like, L.A., like in L.A. Oh. Even Stevens was fucking hilarious, dude.

I loved that show. He probably had to have accent training to, like, not talk like, a black guy. Because he was like a hood guy from L.A. He said, like, okay, you're going to be a super big. Maybe you don't sound black in L.A., though. They sound Mexican. Yeah. Like, you'll meet some wild-ass white kid.

In Holes, he's like, his dad is like, Fonzie. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. His name's like Stanley Yelnats. Like, he's obviously a Jew. Yeah, yeah. Well, he is Jewish, too. Oh, he is Jewish. Okay, yeah, yeah.

But it's kind of funny like that, you would never think that guy, and then you see him now, and he's, like, yelling at a, woman in a hotel in his underwear going like, fuck you, bitch, which you got? It's like, what? Are you out of your mind? Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Yeah, it is such a weird, because it's like, for so long, you just saw him in this way, and then you see him in, like, interviews, and he's just like, Transformers 1 was like, coolly shit, bro. Yeah, exactly. Transformers 2? No, he didn't tell him. No, no, that would be awesome.

That would be hilarious. Oh, yeah, he was in Transformers. I forgot about Transformers. That was his main thing. That's where he got, like, all the, like, everybody's like, damn, Shalubbub. bangs, hot chicks. Really?

He also started in stand-up. What? Yeah, he would do open mics and, like, shows at comedy clubs. That's how he got discovered and they were like,

okay, well. He started as a stand-up? He was like, rowdy. He was talking about, like, getting blown and all this shit and, like,

probably like real LA gang bang shit. Yeah. And then they were just like, hey, do you want to play like a... Whoa. Yeah. Do you want to, like, mix up a girl's Gatorade

and pickle juice? He's like, I don't see that's a prank. I thought beating the shit out of a guy. It was a prank. And they're like, no, no, we're toning it down. I guess the Mark Wahlberg.

Yeah. That's got to be so funny when you live like such a hood in Ted's life. And then you're playing like. Yeah. Like I can't imagine what it's like. I think about that all the time because there are certain celebrities that like when they were kids, they were fucking bullies that beat the shit out of people like Mark Wahlberg and something.

And like I wonder if that kid who got bullied, his mom goes up to him. He's not going to be anything. Yeah. And it's Shyla above. He peaked early. And then all of a sudden it's like. like Mark Wahlberg. It's like he's got all these movie deals. He's rich.

He's got a hot wife. He's rich. And he's just that guy is just like some loser in Boston be like, what the he's an accountant. He's like, what the fuck? Yeah. God damn it. Yeah, because he was addicted to, I mean, he did like a bunch of hate crimes. He was addicted to Coke and in like a gang. Yeah. He beat

up an Asian guy. Yeah, he pissed a whip him. I'm pretty sure he blinded. No, yeah. He hit him with like a stick. You know what John Hamm did when he was a kid? Is it a big of his giant winner? He was apparently he's part of a fraternity and he like beat a guy's nutsack in with like a hammer

that's how he got the name John it was John Hammer no he's too on the nose it's like a horrible horrible thing and he just like and I just that's the thing like I wonder you know that kid goes back to his parents and they're like he's not going to be anything you'll see and he's like a sex symbol

and he's like a same I saw him once in person John Ham is the handsomest man I've ever seen yeah he's a little I almost flipped. Like, I swear to God, I was like, he looked like Bruce Wayne. Like, he had these cool tinted glasses on. It was just like a, like a, like a, like a, like a drink.

And it just suit and tie just with a hot wife. I was like, holy shit. This guy looks like a badass. Like he's. Well, they wanted him to play bat. There's like, I mean, I don't know, it was just a fan. So people were saying, like, he should have played Batman. Yeah, he'd be a great Batman.

Much better than Ben Affleck. Yeah, well, his voice, too. Well, how do you feel about Affleck? Because I'm not an Affleck guy. I like, I like Damon. I'm not a big Affleck guy. I'm not an aflick. I like Argo.

Argo is a good movie. It's an amazing story, too. Yeah. But him is, probably the problem with Affleck is he's just so whiny. Yeah. Like Matt Damon, there's something cool about Matt Damon

because he's not a whiny person. And he also respects stand-up too, which is cool. But like Ben Affleck, whenever I hear him talk, he's always just like, come on, guys. Why don't you like me?

And it's like, I don't want to be. I think he's just been relapsing back and forth for like 20 years. So he's just like, that's my favorite part about Ben Affleck. Remember when they showed him with all the coffees and then he dropped them and he's all hung over and he's like smoking. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

But speaking of being whining, wasn't Matt Damon bitching about something like kind of recently? He was being like kind of gay about something. Really? Yeah, I thought maybe I'm wrong, though. I don't know. He always seemed like the normal one of the two. I'm trying to think what's the best Ben Affleck movie. I don't know.

People say, what is it, Gone Girl? I've never seen it. Oh, yeah, Gone Girl was good. Yeah. Gone Girl was a good movie. The town was like a fun watch, but not like a great movie. Yeah, it was good. He was good, and there's this really bad movie.

I saw that was directed by George Clooney called The Tender Bar. And he's, like, the best part in it. Yeah, I remember that. He's really good in that. But then, like, I just see him in an interview, and I'm like, I would not want to be friends with you. Well, he directed, you ever see Gone Baby Gone? No.

How many Gone movies is he? Yeah, there's a lot of Gone. You ever see Gone Baby Gone? That's like a... He directed that, right, Ben Affleck? I'm pretty sure he directed that. Oh, was it Casey? Affleck? That was a really good book. That movie I thought was like when people always ask about like movies in Boston and stuff, I thought Gone Baby Gone captured it like that was like oh shit, that's like Boston. I know. Oh wow. Yeah. Like they're just like with the people in it. It's Ben Affleck, right? Yeah. Like it's like just the way everything looks and stuff. It doesn't feel like too. I mean, it's a crazy story and stuff. But that was a good one. Yeah, I like Ben, I don't mind. I don't mind him. The one I can't stand who's kind of annoying sometimes is mock Walberg. He, he, I guess.

I think he's super, he's like obviously a good actor, but I feel like every time he said, now granted, like he said the stuff about 9-11 wouldn't be the same. That's crazy. Yeah, he was there. That's like, okay, he's kind of a legend for that, Loki. But like other stuff, I just don't understand why these guys get adopted as like the mascot of a region. That's, yeah. That's the pot I don't understand where it's like.

We just have Cam Patterson. That's about what we got going on over there. Hey, I'm happy with that. It doesn't quite represent how I grew up. But I'm like, that's fun. No, yeah. DC. We got Caratop.

Oh, you got Caratop? Yeah, Caratop's kind of our guy. I mean, I see him all the time. Was it 1-800 collect, right? Caratop. What is that? The commercials, one of those commercials, 1-800 collect? Oh, I don't know.

I just know he became so rich. And he just, like, he goes around town making people think he's gay, but he's not gay. Like, I was always told him a kid, the Caratop's gay. Apparently, he's not gay. He just wears makeup. He's not gay? No, he's not gay. Really?

Yeah, yeah. That surprises me. did the makeup, the weird mustache thing he's doing now. Yeah, he's got like dreads occasionally. I know, I've seen that too, yeah. Dude, his boat is like a rainbow boat, and he wears like a speedo on it. But he's just, I don't know, he's just, he's just having fun. That sounds horrible.

That is the ideal life. I've always said that. I've always said that. I've always your ideal life as a comedian. This is, this is it. It's, I have residency at the City Walk Universal Studios, just some theater there. Yeah. And I spend all day getting fucked up on the boat.

maybe get addicted to drugs, power through an hour that's just getting worse and worse every year. Throw up on my parents' porch and just say, I make more money than you. That's not my ideal dream,

but that is a funny universe to just be one of those burnout. Yeah, I'm gonna want that. No, I wouldn't actually want that, but like taking a limousine to just go to be like Disney World Theater, Michael Good.

Yeah, yeah, exactly. Yeah, that sounds fun. Yeah, it does. Sounds like a form of a life. Yeah, yeah. There's something fun in the idea of being a nuisance and everybody just has to deal.

with it. I get why celebrities kind of do that where they're just like, uh, yeah, yeah, yeah,

yeah, yeah, like, it could be an asshole. Oh, I saw the, I just watched the Chevy Chase documentary.

Did you guys see that? No, but people fucking say he's the biggest dick in the world. Well, I was around, I went to a party

that he was at once. Oh, was that like, and that was really interesting. Are you like from a time machine or something? No,

what are you talking about? No, but I went to a, I went to an event, and it was like, it was a party and he was there. And there were people speaking on stage at the event.

And Judy Gold was one of the people speaking on stage. And he started heckling her. What was he said? It was like, women aren't vote. It was like, I was just like, what the fuck? And it was Dave Attell, Susie Asman, Richard Kine, and Judy Gold. They're speaking. It was at this show honoring Gilbert Goughreed.

And Chevy was in the audience. And he just started heckling Judy Gold. and they just started going at it with each other. And it was just like, oh, he's like, oh, he is kind of a schmuck. And then he's walking out and he's going up the steps. He's trying to go up the steps and he can't walk upstairs anymore. And so he's just sitting on these stairs like grumpy. And his wife's there and she's like, it's okay, Joe.

He's like, I'm right now. Just over steps. And I'm like walking by it with my friend. And I'm like, I don't want to help him because it's. like, I'm worried he's going to yell at me, you know? Yeah. And he's, but he's like a tall, he's a big guy too. Yeah.

And then this, and then this, just like this black guy came up. So like, you need help. And he's like, especially not from you. Yeah. I don't need your help. He's just like, Jesus Christ. That is funny. It's like the scary movie, too, guys, the disabled people that, like,

you're trying to help, but like they don't want to be helped. Yeah. Well, that's what I was thinking about with that fucking guy. So the Cornhole guy. I don't, I don't want to forget this. Oh, the paraplegic. Yes. What kind of paraplegic are we talking about, though?

He's not a paraplegic. He's a quadriplegic. Yeah. So are we talking about like Christopher Reeve? He has like one eighth of his arms and like one eighth. No, he doesn't have limbs. He has like no limbs. Oh, he has no limbs.

Yeah. I feel like that's different than being a paraplegic though, right? Well, paraplegic. He like probably could move like his show. Like he could probably do this. So he's like the guy from family guy. Yeah. Like Seamus, the pirate.

Yes. But I don't know where is it. I haven't seen like a bionical attachments on him. So I don't know if he has like a, He must have something, though. I'm sure it's a breathing tube that, like, one is his car. Oh, my God. The other's a machine gun or something.

A little straw, like, shh. No, if I had a guess, he probably has the attachments, like, how people can get, like, those, like, super plastic running legs or whatever. Okay. Because have you seen those people that don't have legs, and then they get, they're not even, like, I mean, I guess they're prosthetic. And, like, they can run faster than, like, Usain Bolt and stuff. Yeah. He has to have. If I had a guess, I'd say he, I haven't looked into it too much, but.

I'd say he has to have those because those always The people that always get those are crazy athletes. Yeah, well, I mean, I'm sure he has something like that. But it's also like tricky too because I'm like,

the news article is like we don't know how he, the cops do not know how he did it. We just know he did it. He just did it? Yeah, and then you're like, how do they, we're talking about how do we,

how do they handcuff the guy? They're like, do they just put him in a box with like a hole where his head is and carry him around? The only handcuff you could do is a noose. Yeah, yeah. Just drag him.

You're under arrest. They put him around to their shoulder. Yeah, I guess if you just tie him up, right? Yeah. Maybe they do like a Hannibal Electric kind of thing. You know, an Empire Strikes back when Chewbacca has C3PO? Yeah, yeah. He's like it.

Yeah. And he's using him as like a backpack and he's running. It's like that. It's like, you're under arrest. It's just like. They have a roly backpack where just his head goes out and they kind of just pull him around like that. And then we were talking about, we were joking about prison for that guy.

I'm like, if I was that guy, I would get pocket pussies installed in the things. so that you're just saving your ass. Yeah, I mean, like, what would a prison be for that guy? Like, a kiddie pool? I don't know. Like, what would it be, like, what is prison for him? Because it's like, he can't. Yeah, yeah, exactly, yeah.

Yeah. I mean, it's not like he's going to leave his cell, so you could just throw him in solitary confinement. Yeah. Just leave him there forever. We're all. How's he eating? How is he?

Do they allow prosthetics in prison? I don't know, because there's got to be some kind of weapon. Like, I assume a guy just takes that out. Yeah, like, you could just, just you could literally pull your arm off with the other fake arm and just go, you know? Yeah, or you probably have like a guy who takes all of his limbs and becomes like a Dr. Octopus type character.

There's another prisoner who has like four arms. This is like, I'm evil now. He just like Vishnu, like the god who has like, yeah, yes, yes. Oh my God. I can't imagine how you would, I mean, I can imagine how you could hold him.

It's pretty obvious. It's easy. But we're joking about him. Like, you see like somehow he just beats the fuck out of everybody in prison. Like, you don't know how. It's just like, you see a swarm of guys, and they're all, like, knocked over, and they're like, how did he do this?

Yeah, it's like in Monty Python with the Black Knight. Yeah, yeah. He just doesn't give up. Yeah. It's just a flesh wound. He's just moving like a stump of a human. Have you heard that joke about the person with no arms and no legs? Is it a street joke?

Yeah. What is it? It's one of my favorite jokes. Guys walking down a beach sees a woman with no arms, no legs, just on the beach, crying. He's like, what's the matter? She's like, I've never been kissed before. Gives her a kiss, starts walking away, she starts crying louder.

He's like, what now? She's like, I've never been fucked before. He says, hold on, he grabs her, throws her in the ocean. It's like, you're fucked now. That's a fun one. It's an old joke. I think of you the most, people that don't know, how old are you?

I'm 22. Guy is like an 80-year-old Jewish man in a 22-year-old body. You've described yourself that way. Yes, I would. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. No, see, so he does, I'm looking at him now. Like, he has... Let me see.

Can I... Like, look at how... Look at his arms. Does he have, like, elbow? I saw other pictures of... I was kind of jacked. Yeah. I saw other pictures of him, too.

Like, he has, like... It's not like he just doesn't have anything past the shoulder. Those are some vainy stumps. Yeah. Those are, wow. But I'm like, if he can throw fucking cornhole bags, then I'm like... Why I assume he was using teeth for that? Like, I assume he was kind of just lobbing him that way.

Do you think that's how he drove the car? Yeah, maybe with his teeth. No, he throws him. I'm looking at a picture right now. Oh, shit. See, he uses both of his hands. So, like, he can do certain shit. Like, look.

He's also such an unsuspecting criminal for, like, oh, my God, dude. What the fuck? Whoa. Hello, claw. Oh, my God. So he can, like, grip stuff. He would be great at SeaWorld. He would, like, put him in a seal suit and just be like, isn't it such a brilliant seal?

It's just like, that is a really good idea. He's built. like a seal from SeaWorld. Someone in the comments wrote, allegedly no, no fingerprints were found on the weapon. How do you even idea that they just put the stump in the print instead? Like, how does that work? Who knows? Yeah, I don't know. Dude, it's, it's so fascinating. Oh, my God. It's also to be so funny. By the time this podcast come out, there's been 19. I'm like, let me talk about something different this week. Like, I think people would have

talked about this. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But for me, this also had changed, this is the one time I've changed my opinion on murder because I'm like obviously it's bad but it happens so often that people must get pressed so much that I'm like maybe sometimes you just have to kill a mother-off like I'm like maybe if this many people are just

killing people all of like it just happened so much that you're like some of these have to be we don't know the other guy's story I mean you should never kill somebody but girlfriend wasn't it his girlfriend I don't think so I was gonna say girlfriend or his wife oh really there's a guy

it could be one of those things where a someone just kept asking him the same question. Yeah, yeah. Like, how do you throw beanbacks? You could believe his name out. But like, Keith Chase, like, I always ask him short questions. Yeah, yeah. I'm always like, you know, I'm like, he's like, yeah, I'm engaged.

Keith Chase's a legend. I'm like, is she taller than you? Yeah. He'll be like, I will kill you. He gets so mad. And I'm like, oh, my bad. Sorry, Keith. You know, but I'm like thinking of myself, like, and people, I've seen people ask him

question and it gets him really stirred up. Yeah, yeah. I can't imagine what this guy is getting asked all the time. Yeah, yeah. All the time. Like, you know, like, how do you take a selfie? Yeah, yeah. How do you have sex with your woman?

Like, there's so many demeaning things you could ask this guy. Yeah, you push to the point where you're almost like, how much of an asshole was the other guy? I know. That's what I honestly think. There's no way. He's out of the blue. He just shot a guy. He's probably really getting fucked.

What about that guy? Do you guys remember that guy, Oscar Pistorius? Yes, the guy with no legs that. that shot his wife. He killed his wife. Yeah. That was fucked up. Running on the blades.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. See, like that guy, he could run faster than like the fastest human with the legs. With the blades. Yeah. Like, that guy could fly. Well, we should, we should throw out a stereotype now.

What the people without limbs murder people? Keep an eye out. If you got any friends out any limbs. Started with Captain Hook. Yeah. And now it's this guy. I don't think I know anyone. Knock on fucking wood.

Not that I don't want to meet. Yeah. Meaning, I don't want someone to lose limbs. I'm like, I don't think I know anyone without limbs right now. Yeah, there's a guy from a high school by me. He drove, his brother was driving his boat and ripped a corner, went over the front under the boat, cut his leg off. Actually, I do know someone without a limb. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

I do know someone. I was at PT a week ago. PT? Physical therapy. Oh, okay, yeah. So I'm around a lot of these kinds of people. And this guy with one arm found out I do stand up. and he walked over to me.

He's like, I want you to teach me how to do comedy. And I was like, I'm not that like a staff, you know, and he's like, he's like,

I can do it. And he whips out a rubber hand. And he's like, see? And he's like, I got props. And I'm like, oh no.

And I was just like, he's like, you got any ideas for me? And I'm like, I don't know. They only got to, yeah, because everything's,

you're going to come out, you're going to be like, like, like, you're just going to say all one arm. Like, That's all I could dig of. Yeah, yeah.

I was like, you could be like, I'm the only guy that ever tried to hitchhike a train. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Something like that. And he was like, oh, that's funny. But he was just, and he was like,

give me your phone number. And I was just like, oh, my God. These guys, they have a lot of passion. Yeah. Imagine a fucking boat propeller hitting your leg. Oh, it would be terrible. Oh, I would be horrified.

I would, you know, how could you even, like, live, you know? What if you even feel that if it hurts that bad? I think it's numbing at first and then eventually. Yeah. Yeah, I think you're in such shock, and then inevitably you're like, how? How do you get fucking taken off by a boat?

How do you not get addicted to opiates? Because, like, you have to be on a for such a long period. Well, dude, they say a lot of people who lose limbs, they feel pain in the limbs, even though they're not van derives. I've heard that. Yeah, it's a real thing. Yeah. That's crazy.

Yeah. I thought about that if there was like a draft. I'm like, would I cut off my foot? I had my great, great grandfather poked his eye out. To avoid a draft? To avoid, because in Russia, Jews would have to be in the army for the rest of their lives. So there was a guy in these Jewish towns, the crippler. And you would go to the crippler.

To get cripple. And then my other great, great grandfather, he just changed his name. The guy's like, well, I could have just changed my name and not Jewish. Yeah, because my last name is Noel. But originally it was like gross. That was the name, gross, which is a very Jewish group. Oh, I thought you were like it was some gross, a disgusting Jew name. No, it was gross.

They changed his names, and they never met these two people, but I can't even imagine, like, how'd you get out of the war? I changed my name. He's like, I could have fucking done that, dude. And he's like, I poked out my eye. Yeah. And there's photos of him, and he's just like, this guy in a chair, like, if you were in Russia and you were a Jew,

you had to be in the army for the rest of your life. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Even if you were, like, 75 years. From what I heard, it was like, you were there until you died. To like, you know, yeah. That just seems ineffective having like a 90-year-old Army. That seems like you're...

Well, they probably find something for them to do, right? Yeah, but they would get... They would, yeah, they would essentially, they'd just keep throwing them out there just being like, go. What did Russia send any Jews to, like, Germany or anything during the, um... I don't know.

During, like, well, no, because they weren't out. They were our allies. Yeah, but they did other messed up shit. That's what I'm saying. What did they did? Because what they did was... Because a lot of Jews got the fuck out of Russia, right? Yeah, they...

Yeah, they wanted to leave there too because there was the whole doctor's thing that happened. What's that? Which is where there was some sickness and they just blamed it on all the Jews. And they were like, well... It's very funny, the most, like, handwashing people. Yeah, those handwashing people. And then they, like, imprisoned all of these doctors. And so when Stalin was dying, when he had the stroke, they were like, we need a doctor.

And they're like, oh. Oh, God, damn. We kind of threw out all the Jews. We put them in gulags and shit. Stalin didn't like Jews? No, no. I mean, I had relatives that were in the Soviet Union. And I've heard this story.

This is a story in my family that I had this great, great aunt that was like stuck there for like decades after World War II. And then they told her she's going to be free and she could leave. And she was so happy. She had a heart attack and died on the spot. Oh, my God. And she's like, oh my God. It's like, you know. Yeah.

It just died. She was so happy. Yeah, that must have been tough, dude. Imagine being- Well, she did get out of Russia. You couldn't say you were a Jew, like, really, to people because you would get, like, attacked for it, you know? Like, my aunt, she, they would hide that they were Jews because that was, like, a big

thing. You wouldn't say that because you could get beaten up and, you know, like, really, you could get fired. Yeah. It was a fireball fence. It would have to be so tough to be in fucking Russia, like right on the line of Germany. Oh, you're just looking at that wall. You're like, it's right there.

Yeah. And like on the other side, you can fuck around and have fun, but then like... Oh, it's awful. Oh, my God. But at both sides, it sucked. It's just one side obviously sucked significantly more. I mean after the Holocaust. I mean after that, like, in like the 50s or something.

Oh, yeah. Or even like the 70s, we're like, dude, I'm sorry. stuck here. Oh, yeah. And it was awful. I mean, it just, you know, it never, yeah. People always ask me, like, you know, would you ever go back to Europe? I'm like, no.

Yeah, yeah. Because it's like, it always swings back and forth. You're always like, uh-oh, it's coming back again. And you're like, I like, I like the states, you know. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. It's a little trouble. What's the Canada Jew relationship? I don't know.

They have Jews in Canada? Yeah, yeah, yeah. They've got a lot of Jews in Canada, actually. There's a, there's a population. there and quite a few Jewish comics Dan Janine, Danny Paul he's Canadian. Oh yeah, yeah, yeah. Everybody who comes from Canada is pretty fucking funny.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Dan Natterman's parents are from Canada. Okay. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. And he's a Jew, he's as Jewish as they get. Yeah, you know, but I mean, yeah, there's, I don't know how it goes there. I know here it's kind of like not the greatest right now because I go to NYU.

So it's like fucking nuts there. And NYU, you mean Auschwitz Jr.? Those people are crazy. They're nuts. It's nuts that college kids have been, they had this whole reputation for being like super woke or whatever. Like, yeah, we're just going to be the most

fucking anti-Semites in the history of everything. They're anti-West. They're anti-West. It's just communist. Yeah, yeah. Straight up comedy. Fucking nuts. I mean, they blocked me from getting into the library.

I got pushed by like this kid. I was just like, the fuck is this? You know? they just blocked me. They kind of figured out I was a Jew. Was it the Star of David? You always have a kid? No, I mean, people...

That's fucking ridiculous, dude. That's ridiculous. And they got, like, and they got violent, and they've gotten violent. I've seen it. Did those kids ever get arrested or anything? Yeah, well, I was at the... On the first night of Passover,

a couple years ago, they did this huge protest. And, uh, for hours. And they, they did this thing they did encampments. What were they protesting? In the Israel War. And they put encampments all over the NYU, like this area of NYU.

I remember that. Yeah. They've built a wall, like the security wall, so you can't get through and do that again. But it used to be like this free space. You could just walk. I know exactly. Yeah.

Yeah. And they like made this huge encampment thing. And it was insane. And it was weird because you'd see people you knew. and it was like, oh, that's what you're like in real life, you know that? Well, the thing I wonder, though, because this is my whole thing. Like, I don't know about politics. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Yeah, but even if it's about, not to interrupt you or anything, but even if it's like, all right, I understand if people feel a certain way about, like, Israel. Yeah, I get that, yeah. If you're just some Jew from Washington or whatever, like, what the fuck does, why can't you go to the library? Yeah, why can't I go in the library? That's my issue. That's crazy. Well, they know you're part of the Mossad.

You guys all are nice try. Yeah, that is the fun. divide because it's like, I don't know. It's one of those things that like, I think obviously some people go is the other way where some people get called anti-Semitic for being anti-I-D-F, which I don't agree with. But it's like, then you have the people that are like,

Jews are the idea. It's like, these are totally different thing. And they just think, well, that's how I know is like when I bring up I'm Jewish and someone's like, what do you think about Israel? Like the fact that when they immediately go to that, I'm like, I kind of feel like you have a little bit of like a latent like, yeah, yeah.

that's kind of like a little bigoted. Well, I was on a date with a girl one time and she's like, you're not Jewish already. I was like, no, she'd be a huge red flag. And I was like, that's crazy. I was like, that's fucked up. That's crazy. I still did have sex with her.

But I still, I did say that is insane. You should have raw dogger and never fucking talk to her again. That's fucked up. I did say that is insane. That's crazy how you're allowed to say that shit with Jews. But if you said that about any other group, like you. Oh, no. Red flag.

Yeah, you'd be immediately. Yeah, I mean. That's kind of nuts, too. It's bizarre. about in college, because, like, I got the beginning of that in college where I just called something retarded, and then women are like, ah! Yeah, I'm like, now I get it. But I think it kind of goes like, you're paying all that money to go there.

You should be allowed to say, though. 80 grand. It wasn't even, it wasn't even bad shit. It wasn't even like, it wasn't slurs or anything. It was just like, you know, like my opinions on things. And I was just like, that's not a, it's not bad to have an opinion. Dude, I had a teacher at him, as you say the N-word, a white guy. But he was just like, he's like, I'm be saying words.

I mean, it was, it was a Faulkner class, so it was like he was just ripping it. But he's like, I'm going to say this work, because that's what's written in the book, and everybody's kind of looking around like, oh, shit. Looks like you got away with it. But I didn't like, I don't know, because like most of the time I interact with young people, it seems like they kind of care a lot less. But then I think the campus, the campus environment is sort of like a more intense kind of thing. Yeah, well, not to mention that the best part about those college protests,

when you look at the people that would get arrested, you're like, you know this dude's 43 years old what's he doing here you know that is really funny he's like he's right there's like a 68 year old woman that goes to all of them she's like this tiny woman she's a professional

she's always at those things no that's the other thing is that what you find out is and this is what's so bizarre and I was watching these protests happen is the same people would come in and they were like hired to go in and like build like more like add more

people to these protests do you think they're like agent provocateurs? I think they are. I mean, from what, and it was people would I, I remember one of them, because when I was in high school, I used to work for a congressman. This guy, Jamie Raskin, and

he's a progressive congressman from Maryland. And I remember, I saw one of these protests, and one of the leaders was my boss. That's so funny, yeah. And I was just like looking at her like, oh my God, like, what the fuck? But when they protested something bad?

They were the Israel thing. They were at that giant one, the encampment one. And they had the microphone. They all wear masks, but I knew who it was. Yeah. They all act like the masks, like, really protect them. Well, it's also dumb to be like, I'm brave and then wear a mask. Yeah, exactly.

You're a coward. It's like, yeah. They wear a cowards, too, because then they would get mad when they would get arrested. And then the cops would rip the masks off. I know. And they would get mad. It's like, well, if you want to, again, if you believe that, fucking be about it. Yeah, exactly.

Well, I walked by a great one the other day. It said, it's like, our. government is run by pedophiles. I was like, oh, that, hey. Like, most of the time I walk by a protest and I'm like, what is this before I start cheering along with you guys? What is this? Because it's always like so weird thing we were like, yeah, I am anti, like, you know,

police killing black people obviously. Yes. But then like the protests are big. And then we're also for like completely different. And I'm like, ah. Yeah, I don't know about that. But I'm like, the government. Okay, that's a good.

Oh, yeah. You can't go to any protests anymore because there's always going to be that one guy that has their point to bring in. Yeah. And they're like, you know, and they're going to be like, you know, just they'll say, hey, hey, oh, ho, Donald Trump's got to go. And then there's, that's a second guy and it's like, yeah, but like, you know, fuck you. And you're kind of looking at them. And it's like they're like ignore him, but then he gets, you know, it's like the movement.

He gets more powerful. Well, that was like I went to Black Lives Matter protest in Orlando. And it was funny because nobody would know who's leading. They're like, why are we walking in this direction? And they're like, I don't know, we're following that guy. Who was that guy? That guy left me a leading He goes right to the police station.

One time I went to a vigil for these Jews that got murdered and this blind guy walked by and he's got these dogs, he's got the stick, and he just turns and he just yells, you fucking genocidal pricks! And I look at him like,

and we weren't making any noise. It was a vigil. I was like, aren't you blind? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Are you blind? He walked. He's like, ah, he walked away. And you knew he was.

wasn't blind because the dogs were behind him, not in front. Oh, you know? He was a fake blind guy. He had the stick and he was just like, you know. I thought he was just like a daredevil who just consens to him. She's blind. He's like, yeah, yeah, anti-Semit daredevil.

Yeah. Nice. Yeah, their heartbeat. Yeah, yeah. It beats in a different rate. Yeah, that's annoying. They closed off that area, NYU because I used to walk. Yeah, I used to do it.

And now if you want to cut across. You can't do it. You can't cut across now because they're like, I need to see ID. I'm like, oh, fuck, dude. Yeah. How is... Okay, so you said,

not to get wildly off the talk, but Daredevil, the new... What is, because I'm kind of marveled out right now. Yeah, I understand that. But what is the... He was blind to Devil,

right? Daredevil, yeah, that's what we're talking about? So wait, what do you want to know about Daredevil? Because I love... I'm a big comic nerd, so... Well, I am too. But my thing is I'm having trouble

getting newly excited about something because I'm like... I'm kind of like... Wow, a grown man not excited about a fucking... Comic book TV show coming out. It's cool. Wait, did you see the Netflix ones?

No, but I am. That was like the best show ever. Well, somebody brought a good thing about the Spider-Man thing, is they were like Spider-Man, why do they have no pictures of, because they wiped out everybody's memories. They're like, nobody knows that Peter Parker's Spider-Man, but then this woman would still have all these pictures of Peter Parker. Yeah, no, I mean, I kind of, I like Spider-Man that I just kind of gotten Spider-Maned out. I saw Fantastic Four

that I like I like that one because it was kind of different They made it like 60s It was retro Yeah retro 60s Kind of this like amazing era This pre-JFK assassination 60s which is so much hope

And it's incredible But yeah Spider-Man I kind of just like It's just like You just keep making it more confusing Like somebody's gonna go into this next movie There's gonna be like And that's the thing

That's why I don't like this too connected universe. Because out of context, you walk into a movie, you're like, the fuck is this. Yeah, you got to watch the TV show. It's like a gang bang of superheroes. The TV show stuff is messed up too because it's like... You have to watch all these to get into these. They're really bad. Yeah, yeah.

Like a lot of those shows are really awful. I mean, nothing tops the CWverse. Those are so bad, dude. Let me... Should I talk about this? Yeah. Okay, fine. I dated a girl.

her dad was the creator of the Aeroverse. Oh, God. I'm going to Google it. That's worse than me, fucking, that anti-Semitic woman. The Aeroverse is the worst crime to humanity. Yeah, yeah. For what I was told, he couldn't get any meetings with D.C. recently. Yeah, they're like, dude.

And he was very upset about it. He was kind of like, oh, there's a waste of my time to do the outburst. Yeah, he was a waste of everybody's time for you. I did The Flash season one of the Flash Well I have a weird connection to the I don't know

I was still the air over's but I was hanging out this girl one time and this dude he played Superman's son on TV so he's like Superman Jr. Oh that show was good Yeah why that was a good show

Superman Lois was good I haven't seen it but we follow each other on Instagram very cool guy but I just trusted him because he played Superman's son on TV I was going to go home with this girl and we're all talking

he goes wrap it up and I was like okay and then the condom broke and then the middle of the night I'm just like texting him calling Superman Jr. because I'm like he knows what's up? I was like what did you mean wrap it up? Does she have STDs? And he goes no I meant like wrap up the conversation because we got to get out of here. I was like oh my god. I'm just calling Superman Jr. I'm like what do you know? What do you know

what is? What do you know about the kryptonite? No I mean I grew up on those shows though and those were you know, as good as you could have with that budget and the rights to those characters, but the Disney Plus stuff, I think, is really egregious because it's like, you have all this money, you could make these great television shows,

and they're just terrible, and they're such good source material, they're just awful. The only good one was Loki. Loki was the only one I liked. Other than that, they all were shit. I never got into any of the superhero shit. Yeah?

No, and I, you know, I do remember seeing the Ben Affleck Deer Devil movie in theater. Oh, God. I saw, I do remember that. That's like the Daredevil you don't want to see. Well, a lot of them have sick trailers. Like,

you watch the trailer for the Thomas Jane Punisher. Yeah, he's playing. Like, that looks like the coolest thing ever. You see, remember the Joker trailers? Those were incredible.

Yeah, those were so good, SNL parodied one of the trailers. Yeah. Because it was so fucking, it was such a great. Yeah, I didn't like that movie.

I didn't like that movie either. It was so underwhelming. I thought it was going to be awesome. No, wasn't that good. Yeah. And it was, and then the sequel was just like,

If you didn't like the first one, you're going to hate the first one even more. And even if you like the first one, now you'll hate it because the second one is so bad. It ruined the first. I've never had that word. It's so bad it just completely rewrites my opinion on the first movie. I was just like, I hate this movie. Yeah, because in your mind, you're like, who cares they made a sequel? I'll still remember the first one.

Yeah, I'll still remember the first one. It's so bad. It's so bad. I'm like, I can't even look at the first one. It was like a musical or something, right? Yeah, it was terrible. You really want to hear Watkins Phoenix sing show to me? Yeah, that's what it is. Then I want to hear him talk about PETA when he gets an award.

Exactly, yeah, yeah. But, I mean, I love the superhero stuff. But the new Daredevil I want to see because I loved the Netflix show. That's an amazing, you really take the time to watch the first three seasons of Daredevil. It's good television. It was on Netflix. When it was on Netflix, it's on Disney Plus. They moved it to Disney Plus, but those first three seasons are incredible.

Vincent DiNofrio is incredible. And he's an awesome act. He's the best. Did he play Kingpin? Yeah. It's fucking flawless. I'll give it a shot. Give it a shot, man.

We were in here the other night, and the podcast listeners hear this every week, but I am going to chill out with the drinking and partying. But I did. Yeah, right. My buddy won. He got engaged, so I was like, we're in Memorial Day soon? Don't you live for that?

No, I'm not. I'm going to try to go sober from, like, April, whenever I get back from Florida to, like, for like four weeks, just to, like, focus on stuff. But I was just fucking, dude, we would have my buddy's like, engagement. It did a bunch of ketamine.

And I'm here trying to show my roommate Batman Beyond. Oh my God. I love Batman Beyond. You love it, but I watched... What about Return of the Joker?

That movie is... I tried putting that on and like it was not as good as I wrote. Really? But you know what? This is a weird thing. Most drugs make you like things on ketamine.

I don't like a Batman. I was watching... Last night, I was watching Justice League, the cartoon. Yes, that was a good cartoon. I mean, that's what I do to go to sleep. I watch superhero cartoons.

I feel like, for you, it's athletes. Those are your superheroes. When I was like a kid, but even that I don't look at that stuff anymore. I don't look at that stuff the same anymore. You know what I mean? Even sports. Like I used to be like, I would fucking go crazy about athlete.

I enjoy it. I still watch sports, but I don't know. I don't really. Well, you just realize it's like anything. It's like we look up to comedians. You realize their pieces of shit. But Jake brought up a great point about this, the cornhole guy. He's like most, like the NFL they're ready to make press releases,

but the National Cornhole Society. This is their first time. They're like, he's not the most testosterone-fold guys. We have to make a press. The Oscar Pistorius of Cornhole, you know, and then he's just got, yeah, how do you make a statement about this? Yeah, you're like, we didn't see it coming.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Chach EBT. Yeah, that's probably how they did it. Yeah, I think that's what everyone's doing. People really are obsessed with Chatch, EBT, dude. Yeah. They were, I don't trust it anymore. You, I was on Chach EBT the other day.

My friend has the one way. you can like talk to it. You know what I mean? Like the paid version of chat GBT. You could talk to it. What was that? What's that mean? So you could be like,

yo, chatGBT like explain something and it'll like, instead of writing it on like typed out, it'll like talk to you. And then it's like the paid version of chat gbt. It's like whatever the premium version is. You pay for a friend.

So like yeah, do like a New York accent, do a Boston accent. And then it stopped at Chinese accent, dude. And I'm like, yo, this is bullshit,

dude. I think GROC you could, you could do that on GROC. Yeah. Like, Rocks is a little more wild, but... What's Croc, Twitter? That's the Twitter one,

the Twitter AI. Yeah, you can do that on there. Well, this is my problem with chat, GBT. It said I had herpes, which I found out I don't have the second kind. And then... So it was wrong about that, hopefully.

Hopefully I didn't just test too early. But then additionally, it was like, it was like your kill-tony projections are going to be awesome. It's, like, predicted, like, it was like the low end, you'll get 1,200 followers. Yeah.

highly unlikely. And that's what I got out of it. I was like, Chad GPD's out there saying like, you're expected like a big flow of followers. Oh my God. And you're like, all right,

sweep. Oh my God. And then, yeah, that was a big. I just shouldn't have looked at that. Have you talked about that on this? Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. It doesn't, I don't know. It gave me some good advice

like how to clip stuff up because that's like mainly I don't know how to do social media. Yeah, I mean either. I'm trying right now. I had somebody come to my apartment just filmed me walking around

talking about. shit. And they're like, you got a month's worth of stuff. And I'm watching him like, you're like, what? I'm like, all right, we'll say. We'll take your farts. We'll put them on a fetish channel. We'll take your this, put it on here. Yeah, it's a, I don't know. Like, I think it would be so, I mean,

just the ideal world is either be a coattail rider. Like, I look at some of these comedians. They're doing theaters. And some of them, like, I don't think, I think Shane works out like a lot of things like writing and acting and stuff like that. And that's all fun stuff. But then the other people that are like, you got to post every day.

I'm like, dude, there's just, I will never. I will never do that. I don't want to do that. Yeah, and I never will. Because think about quality or quantity, you know, all that stuff.

I mean, that's the thing. And I mean, that's what was so exciting about you getting on that show and then doing well on that was because, like, all of my friends that are your friends

were so happy about it because, I mean, I don't know if the people, but there's a lot of, a lot of people are getting JFL auditions right now that not everybody feels. Yeah,

deserves it, which always happens, you know, and that's okay. But then you have, someone like you who's like getting something and like is actually a good comic and it's very funny and everyone's like oh thank god the system still works the way it used to and it's like my buddy joe popolardo he's very funny he was telling me he just loved you know he loved what you're doing

at zach braviette all those people they're all excited because they're like thank god somebody who actually deserves it dude they got something for i appreciate that a fuck yeah yeah people were super congratulatory because you deserve it thank you deserve it yeah i don't i don't i appreciate appreciate that. He does. I mean, you know, I've seen some people on that show and that we know, and I'm like, oh, okay. They usually do not do very well, but you did very well. You had a great tight minute. Yeah, I was, well, my favorite part of somebody goes, don't look at the Reddit. And then I looked at the Reddit. Everybody was like, bucket pulls must be rigged. And I was like, oh, that's great. Yeah. That's amazing. Yeah, that it's, I was just like, oh, this is great. That's a good feeling, though. Like, they're like, oh, he's so good. Yeah. I was like, now follow me. Please. Paul, please, yeah. People posting my picture be like, this guy was great. Are they praising you?

Yeah, but they're not. So it was just not saying my name. Yeah, that's the best. Oh, God. Somebody was like, you should, you should have set up the show. Everybody just Venmo me $1. But then it's like,

then you become the hateful guy. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I would get Venmo requests for $1,000. It's like, yeah, you don't want to be too. No. That'd be crazy. I didn't think of that. If you just went up there and you're like,

you have Venmo me a dollar. Dude, I would have got, I mean, somebody tossed me 50 bucks. It was like, don't sell plasma this week again. Oh my God. I was like, thank you. I actually went.

I went because I texted you and I was like, do you know a good plasma place? How to go? I went there and I thought I had everything. I needed and I didn't have like a letter from the last 30 days. And they were just like, no. What was the letter from last 30 days saying? They were like, you need like to have like proof that you live here. So like a mail.

And it was interesting. I walked in there and I was like the only white guy there. It's a free of it. You're the one in Harlem? The Brooklyn. Oh, the Brooklyn one, yeah, yeah, yeah. I want to do that. I mean, can you make good money doing it?

It adds up. So if you do it twice a week, you get $100 a week, but there's, like, new donor programs where you can make, like, $800 your first month. But does it, like, when you get plasma, like, does it take a lot out of you? You just get tired. Is it blood?

What they do is they take the blood out. They spin it really fast, and when they spin it, it separates the blood from the plasma, and they put the blood back in you. So there's, like, they work two different ways. one place takes all your blood out spins it around then puts your blood back in one place constantly does it so they'll take some out spin around plasma put the blood back in put water back in that's healthy apparently according to my doctor they're like yeah no it's it's fine according to this uh retarded guy at

cdmd who's my doctor because i've donated blood before like yeah but that's different because that's taking everything like the plasma put everything back it's like oh that's nice and the plasma like comes back what's it like regenerates yeah yeah yeah yeah within i'm I think 48 hours. Oh, that's not bad. It might even be less than that. You just can't donate less than 48 hours.

So, like, I feel fine. I'll do it. It makes me kind of sleepy. And that's, like, about it. Like, I'll do shows after donating plasma. I've gone to the gym in, like, three hours later. Oh, I've had times where I, uh, I had, they took a lot of blood for me one time. And I was so out of, it never, that never happened to me before.

And I had to do a spot afterwards. Oh, you're just like. And I was doing the wrong punchlines. So set up. Because I'm a one-liner guy So I would go like this one set up And then I would just do this punchline And everyone was like

And I was doing a black room And they all just were like What the fuck? And they were like get the fuck off stage Like who are you? Like I was like It's like so out of it Yeah I got tired

I donated blood a couple months ago And I was like fine I went food shop And I went back to my house And then like that My body just had like no energy Like at nighttime I was like yo I just fucking took a nap

I was so tired from it, but I like doing it, you know. Yeah. I wonder who's gotten my plasma and what they've done with it. That's a fun idea. But also, okay, so I want to have you on because I loved your fucking short film slash, is it going to be a series? We're working on that. We're working on that.

Wasn't you originally going to promote another one? We were going to promote a completely different thing, my feature film that I co-wrote. Yeah. But instead I was like, oh, let's just do the pilot. The pilot's better. I like the pilot more. Well, it was funny because we missed it with Christmas because it was a Christmas thing. I went down to Florida.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. But I still watch that. Yeah, dude, you and Oscar's acting's great. Thank you. You guys are like clearly like, it's the perfect dichotomy. Oh, yeah. Because it's like, he's like young rascally guy. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Yeah, yeah. I'm like old, you know, old Jew Manhattan kind of. Yeah. It kind of works. But Ryan was supposed to be in it. What were you going to be? He was going to play the owner. Oh, that would have been fun.

Yeah. Yeah. It didn't work out. Yeah, yeah. Instead, we got the manager from the comedy seller to play the horror. And he was hysterical. I just, my favorite line,

the whole thing is when I asked, why am I band? He's like, because you stink and nobody likes you. Yeah, just the way he says it. It's like, you stink.

You know, I wrote that, you know. Stink. Yeah. That was fun to make. It took, it was a four day shoot.

Yeah. And I recommend, if you're able to make something, make it. Yeah, you know, because like I, was expensive?

It was 11 grand. yeah i'm not going to make anything i raised it no i raised the money i did a go fund me i got all the money um i'm most likely going to do another go fund me later this year yeah because i have another script i'm writing and i want to just shoot another project and um you know it was great four days shoot very quick i did it at st mark's comedy club and then i did it this diner and a story uh for the diner shots and uh it was one of the most stressful experience because i was a producer on it too. So I had to think about money and all these finances.

It's a very stressful experience. But I recommend any, like, it does teach you a lot about the business and, you know. No, one day I do want to do that. Like, because it's like I've written scripts and stuff like that. And I would love to do it. I think I just got to find a time that I'm like, all right, I have enough.

I mean, you got to put some other things aside for a little bit obviously. Yeah. Well, that was the other thing was, I had, I was on a, I'm still on a leave of absence from NYU, but that was like my first. and I literally was like, I need to do shit of significance. Yeah, yeah. If I'm doing this leave of absence.

So I was like, all right, I wrote this pilot script with Oscar. And I was like, I'm going to shoot this. And then I was working on this variety show for NYU that they did their shit. And that went well.

So I was like, and then I had a third project, which I don't fully remember off the top of my head. But it was literally like, I'm just going to work on these three projects this semester. Still do stand-up, but you kind of have to not do it.

You're not writing as much stand-up. You're writing like for this other shit. So that's not always, like that kind of annoys me a little bit because I'm like, I'm not writing new jokes. But, you know, the pilot was really, I did like 12 drafts of it. Yeah, people did. Everybody's talking about how great it is. Oh, thank you. How do they find it?

Find it on YouTube. On your YouTube. Yeah, on my YouTube page, Guy David Nall. And you can find on YouTube. Yeah, old heads, 4K. That's what it's called. Yeah. You know, and I've gotten some insane, I've been stunned by some of the people.

that have actually watched it. Yeah, good. That's been, like, weird. Like, I had my buddy, he said, David Tel saw it. He's like, what? It's like a Tel saw it. I'm like, did he like?

He's like, yeah, he liked it. And I'm like, can I talk to him? He's like, fuck no. Why would he want to talk to you? Or like, you know, I, you know, my, Alan's why Bell saw it. And he's one of the original writers

on Saturday Night Live. And that was a big deal to make because he's one of my heroes. And, like, we've had a lot of great comics. Just reach out. People who I did. didn't really know who really should not know who I am because I'm like, you know, and they've come up to be like, guy, I loved old heads. And I'm like, really? Yeah. How did you see it?

You know, and they're like, I just, I clicked on a link. Someone said it and it's been bizarre. Yeah, yeah. Very bizarre. I've been kind of stunned by it. Well, you make something. You hope people see it. So it's good. I hope people like, I mean, you hope people see it, but you hope people like find it funny. Like that's the biggest concern is like, is it fun. Well, it's hard for me to know because I'm in the comedy world. So my, I think it's funny because I'm in the comedy world.

Yeah, yeah. The comedy world if you find it funny but you like comedy stuff definitely check it out. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Or if you just want to see someone's funny. It's based on,

um, the owner is based on Peter from the grizzly pair. Oh, really? Rest in peace. Yeah, rest in peace. It's based on him because he banned Oscar. Oh, that's so funny.

He banned Oscar for the pair. And we like, I literally, I saw this whole thing in fold in front of me. Yeah. And the best part is two weeks ago, Gary, the other owner of the pair

walked up to Oscar and was like, I loved old heads. And Oscar's like... And you're still banned. And Oscar's like, you know what it's based on. It's based on when Peter banned me. He's like, yeah. It was so funny. And I was like, oh, my God.

So that's how I was like, oh, it is good because even he liked it. Yeah, yeah. And it's kind of, you know... Good for him. Not the most positive. No, of course. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Well, it's good people know, too. Like, I, obviously, they kill Tony, joke is about a baby funeral I had to go to it's a joke about my dad took me to a baby funeral. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And he just I don't think put two and two together and just thought I wasn't invited to like a different baby funeral. I just did not like have any idea

with somebody who knew and I was like, all right, yep. No, really? Yeah, yeah, he just has no idea that it. What was this reaction to the? They like the, they seem to like it. Were they excited by the... Oh, my mom like cried watching it. Yeah. That's great. And I'm just talking about, you know, getting my dick sucked to my dad's ranger over. They're like, this is

so Michael. I'm like, oh, that's great. That's amazing, man. But we are, I really hate to catch up, but we're definitely over time. No problem. What do you want to, I mean, obviously, old heads or Instagram? Old heads. My Instagram at Guy David Noel comedy. You can see my stuff there. And, you know, look for him.

I mean, it's your podcast, but you're for your amazing committee. You both are. Thank you, man. And I know he hates to be glazed. Yeah. You hate to be glazed. He despises it. But Ryan, I think, Ryan and you are both like the,

funniest comments in the city. You're very funny as well. You're fucking guys. But you two, like I would, when I was starting at the pair. Ryan O'Toole podcast. It would literally be you too and I'd be like, fuck man, they're so funny. But yeah. Yeah, Guy David Noel Conner. Also fucking hilarious comic. Love the fucking Holocaust Museum Joe. Oh, thank you. Thank you. It's a fucking great bit. Appreciate you. I like, you always take an interesting angle on a lot of things. Yeah, yeah. Yeah. Thank you. So, thank you. All right. Take care.