Morning Good - Yakubian Devils- Episode 293

Episode Date: November 20, 2025

Joe Gorman and Alex Tomaselli join the show for today's episode. They talk about Furryism, the Nation of Islam origin story, and Joe's military service. Thanks to Joe and Alex for coming back on the show. You can find them on previous episodes of the show and for even more hit their links down below. Joe is on Instagram @joewgorman  Alex is on Instagram @sillyselli and hosts the Yes Offense podcast. They also both host the Super Selli Joe's podcast so make sure to check that out. As always, find Michael Good on Instagram @michaelgoodcomedy and on Twitter @agoodmichael. Check out the show on YouTube and follow the official Instagram page @morninggoodpodcast.

Thanks for the F Shack. I love dirty Mike and the boys. Hey, are you dirty Mike and the boys? How you know who we are? What's this? They called the podcast? Morning, good, good. Hey, welcome to the air.

Thanks. Welcome to the morning. Joe Gorman and Alex Thomas Selly are here, and they were, apparently you can use AI to make love to a woman. You can make love to a child with AI. Is that correct? Yeah, can you believe that? I don't know about that one. Oh, yeah, right, dude.

No. Don't slip it on me already. That's going to be like the new thing is it's going to be like, what's the legality of like, say, bestiality, you know, furries? Yeah. Is that technically beastiality? No. It's not?

No. According to AI, but people could argue that it is. Is that still legal? That's why we got to think about this thing. What is the, what are, what can you do in AI and would you be held accountable in the real world? Well, that's a thing. Are furies just like, is, okay, if you were to. mirror furies

and pedophilia. Are furies secretly bestialitis that want to cover it up or are they just attracted to the actual suits? Like are they in like The cartoon aspect?

I think it's the essence, yeah. Like they want to feel like the animal and that they're also fucking an animal that wants to be fucked I guess you never see a fur,

nobody likes to fuck furries but is, like you never see a guy who's just dressed like a farmer fucking a guy in a cow suit. Right. You also never see just a regular guy. There's no like bull of

furries that I know of who's like that's just the regular guy. He fucks all the furries regular. Right. Yeah. Yeah. Like there might be a guy dressed as a bull. Right. Yeah. Exactly. That's it. Yeah. A minotar. Yes. Yeah. I've never seen like a hybrid. Like you never see like a guy with like just

the pants on. Yeah. Yeah. Like. I think the costumes are like dick accessible. He's like I'm a centaur. And it's like, but I'm wearing jeans. And I only have two legs. Just a horny guy at the fric. Yeah, I'm a I'm an amputated set bar.

He thinks he's gay. He's just trying to get furry pussy. He's like, now I'll just wear pants that are fur. Is this cow? I can only come if they're wearing like a fox mask. Yeah. I went to,

I used to deliver pizza and I would deliver to a furry convention all the time. That's how a fucking porno starts right there, dude. Yeah. Special delivery for one hot fox. It was very interesting because they would all, I don't know, I would ask them, but like,

do you guys just, you know, have orgies in here? They'd be like, it's not all it's about. and then we'd go to their hotel room and it'd be like four of them like do you just

who tickling each other and shit they'd be like all right give us the pizza I get the fuck out of it yeah they're just covering up for the orgies yeah that's like every same with like

coli people would just want to get some fucking pussy and they're like I gotta create something around this to make it seem like it's not how can I fetishize something yeah and that's fine man

it is what it is it's just like yeah it is odd seeing like Sonic the hedgehog in an elevator and he's gonna how was how was How was Sonic the hedgehog so sexualized, but Crash Bandicoot wasn't?

When Crash Bandicoot is like wearing pants, making sure he understands like the levels of dress, you know, whereas Sonic is like, well, Sonic just wearing shoes, but that makes sense because he goes so fast, you could argue that. Crash Bandicoot also humps and like does the suck it motion in the game. So it would make more sense. Yeah, he was more like angry college guy. You'd think he would have triggered those thoughts more than Sonic. Yeah. Yeah. Well, that's the thing.

Like, I've never, I've never even remotely interacted with the furry. So, like, you would often go, like, because I think.

At least once a year. He would hang out with them all the time. Really? Yeah. No, I wouldn't hang out with them, but I was fascinated when I'd go there.

Yeah. But I was, maybe a little aroused. Damn it. Would they answer the door with the helmet off or with the, no, they would be fully closed.

Like, it's like against, it's like, it's like, it's against furry law to fucking remove it. Yeah. You can never remove, especially to an outsider.

It's considered incredibly intimate for two furries to actually remove their furry costume. That'd be funny if that was the sexual part was actually them getting naked, but like the clothes, this is like all. Yeah.

Because you wonder if they got like, like, do you think they have the animal dicks? Like, do you think they paint their dicks red so it looks like a red rocket for a dog? Yeah, or like they have it sucked up into their body and then like they have to wait until they're incredibly roused. So it pops out like a fucking dog penis.

I think it's like noises too. The more, you know, in the more, into character you are, the hotter it is. So if you're like a cat getting mounted by like a dog guy, it's got to be like... Extra taboo.

Yeah, fighting. Yeah, because it's inter-beastial, beastiality. Yes. Which is like even more taboo. Yeah. To like, it's like one thing to be like, okay, we're both going to pretend to be dogs because that's still like within God's vision

of two dogs, you know? But the idea of like a dog and a fucking goat. Yeah. Like that's fucking, that's like, that's like literally the devil. You can't tell me that. not the devil. A wolf and a sheep and just,

yeah. A pentagram shows up. I like the idea that God approves of like normal bestiality, uh, furries, but like, it's like if you like mix up the species,

that's when he like opposed it. And like fucking, the pits of hell open up and like fucking engulf you. But that is why like Satan is like a mashup of various creatures. You know, he's got like the tail of a lion and like hooves. Yeah. Wings of a dragon.

Huge cock. Yeah. That's in every piece of Satan art for some reason. reason. I've never seen it. Really, I've never seen one with a big ween. Yeah, that's why Sally's always like, hail faint. I went to Salem, Massachusetts, and they have the Satanic Temple. Did you accuse your ex-girlfriend of being a witch? No. Ever burned at the stake? I wish I could go back in time and do that. I'll tell you. No, but the Satanic Temple has a library, and in it there's a satanic art book, and every picture of Satan

had his hog hanging out and me and my cousin were in there snickering and laughing at it and all these Satanists got mad at us you're like hey cousin do you think that's a big penis what do you think of this dude

it was exactly and it was like oh cousin look at my penis no and then you're like cousin but sometimes sometimes when I think about you cousin my penis gets even bigger

no cousin I've heard a lot of secondhand of cats in the same exact thing yeah that's exactly what happened no no one's heard any of these things find Sally's cousin on Instagram let him know what's up.

Slander. He's in the military. Don't bother him. Yikes, dude, the Israeli military. Yeah, the Israeli military. Doing God's work. Yeah. Just like opening fire on families.

Cutting off food supplies. Yeah, chopping off like the hands of little children. They just all circumcising everything. You know, okay? Like, whoa, I've heard of circumcision, but this is ridiculous. What do we just cut the tip off of the food coming over there? Yeah. Yeah.

on record, you never had any sexual relations with any of your cousins. Not even the hot ones. No. No, come on. Okay, so we're going to say you've had never, not a sexual thought about a cousin. No. You've never gotten caught. Okay. I think we caught him right here. No. Busted, dude. I've only read because

the mic is reflecting off my face. Yeah, I think you're blushing, dude. I don't like being stared at it. And he's thinking about cousin Peter. Yeah. Well, those are the funniest where they, I remember I was kind of unrelated, but they were talking to some girl at the Charlie Kirk thing. Nice. And then she's just like giggling. She's like, I don't, and it's like, how, there you have cameras in your face.

You're just like a teenager. They're like, this fucking piece of shit. I'm like, dude, if you would just start recording you while you're like asked a question, you're going to be like, ah, like, how are you not going to grin when there's a like a, yeah. How funny would do we know who the person he was debating when he got shot? That's what I thought shot up. Like, as how awkward would it have been for that guy where he's like, I'm going to get you, Charlie Kirk just watch. And it's like, you know what? Here's why I think it's actually okay to have fucking intergender bathrooms. And then he's like, blah, blah, blah, blah. And then He gets shot to the neck and you're like, uh-oh.

Like, they would definitely... Yeah, they would definitely... I guess I win. Right. That's how he win an argument. I proved you wrong. Yeah, he's trying to fucking dissuade you against child brides or some shit.

Yeah. That's funny. He's a child bread guy? It's like, huh? He was a child bread guy? Yeah, he was. Okay. Big time.

I think he was shot. Israel killed him. Well, of course. There's no other explanation. I mean, anything bad. Maybe he was, uh, celly's a fucking sniper. He was on and off. Yeah, he fucking shoots Charlie Kirk Coup of the neck.

I am, but I'm, He's Jewish Italian. Polish and whatever. I've never really done a fucking... You don't need to. Don't do 23 of me. Don't don't fucking sell your info to these businesses. I know.

I also just don't want to know. It's probably not what I think it is. Yeah. It's going to come back German and Jewish. Yeah, Nazi, dude. The two sides, yeah. There's got to be a lot of that where it's like... That's why everybody gets so involved.

Look, my ancestor... American, I may be related Adolf Hitler. I don't think there's... There's only nothing tying me to him, but who knows. Who knows? That would be so chill to be related to Hitler. But doesn't think there's perks nowadays. There's definitely perks.

Like, hey, baby, you know I'm related to Hitler. You could, yeah, you could get like a Fruza Bulk, like American History X, hot chick. The Girl from American Historyx. See, I've watched a lot of Nazi documentaries, and you don't see those. It's really just some, like... The girl from Hellboy, the Girl from American HistoryX, and the girl from the Last Crusade, all hot Nazi chicks. Yeah, ooh, give me a little Nazi. See, I just never...

I mean, I do see some of the, like, the newer, What would you rather have sex with? A beautiful Nazi or a Jew? Real tough question, bud. You want them in their fucking rags? I would say Nazi just because I've had sex with a Jew. Oh, so we're going to have you had sexes. To be fair, we're going, okay, we're talking about modern day.

I'd rather fuck like a well-fed, big-titty Jewish girl. They are fun. But if you're doing 1940s, I think I might have to be. to go. All Himmlered out. Yeah, that's tough. Yeah, yeah. Damn, how fucking cool.

What has a clear advantage? It's a lot of people. What if, what if Nazis did win World War II? I think there's been a couple movies about that. I'm just kidding. There's a whole show about it.

Would you be a Nazi? I don't think I won't. I think the Nazis were going to eventually take out the Japanese. I don't think that, yeah, I don't think they'd let me in. Yeah, you'd done. I think I'd be an outsider.

Like, it's like, we go to, like, an alternate reality, and I'm like part of the resistance. I kind of, like the idea, though, of you looking like that, as a Nazi. I'm like the diversity, higher Nazi. Because they did team up with the, with the Japanese. For a little bit.

Well, then the crazy part, dude, I was, I was deep diving the day, dude. No. Deep diving. You ever look at, that's what you were doing on your veterans day? I was deep. Looking up the enemy. Yeah. I mean, kind of, dude.

I was looking up. Do you know anything about the nation of Islam? No, never. They love women. Sounds scary. Yeah. So I'm going to go ahead and, Backtrack, I said, Yakub is from Islam.

He's from the nation of Islam, which is way different. The nation of domination. Yes. Yeah. I mean, dude, I'm kind of into the nation Islam, dude. Are you really? Yeah. Should we all convert?

They would hate you. Yeah, well, it was started by probably a white guy, so. Yeah. These Yucubian devils. They say Yucubian devils. I like that. I'm going to start calling Honkies, Yacubian devils. I do that sometimes in front of other black people.

They love it. It's Yacubuian devils. He also said free Mike B. Free Max B, and he is free. who's Max B who's a rapper who raped a woman orchestrated a

How do you orchestrate a rape? Drug deal that went bad and he got blamed for it murder somebody raped at a drug deal No they all A few people got murdered I think two or three

And he sent the people there Who did the murdering He didn't tell Allegedly didn't tell them to murder But they did murder And then they Well if they're gonna free him They're gonna use that

To fucking justify Freeing Charles Manson Because that's exactly what Charles Manson did. He was in jail for 15 plus years. That's Charles Manson. Well, Charles Manson's dead, so they can't free him. Wait, really? When do you die? Like four years ago.

Are you serious? Yeah, I'm sorry, man. Yeah, you're one of your long-haired heroes, dude. Damn, really? Who else you got to look up to? I have no one left, dude. Ron Jeremy's done. I'm gonna fucking make a sad swasticon. What's a sad? The Indian one? It's like a little droopy.

It's like a little flower that's wilted. So like all the edges is kind of like sag a little. Or it's just got a dot, a dot, and then a frown. You just combine them Yeah I like it He really died Yeah I'm so sorry

Damn I can't believe it dude I'm shattered I know I'm shattered what do you ever do to anyone dude Literally nothing physically I would love to join a call Do you think I could start a call

Dude I think you can't Okay can I hate that I'm just in the zone with this thing today Can I just fill you guys in on this It's the nation of Islam Yes It's fucking awesome So it was started by this guy

named, what was it, fucking... I love also hearing all this stuff than trying to regurgitate on a podcast butchewishing every last detail. That's the best part about being on a podcast is like, do you know this thing I know that I really don't know? I just heard from someone else.

Yeah, I heard an autistic guy on YouTube, which, by the way, totally changed my mind on that. You know, of course you got like the Flentes and guys like that, but some of these... The boys. The squad. But you got a lot of these, like, really sweet YouTube guys

are just fully autistic. They just, they will give you all the information in the most precise way possible. I do that with nerd lore, but continue. It's great. YouTubers should have to have autism or else you shouldn't be able to get monetized. Yeah, 100% you have to prove.

Especially like the ones that are so diligent about posting shit. Yeah. Like us with Super Sully. Yes. We never take a week off. No. Yeah. For no reason at times.

Well, I know after this Charles Manson News. I'm shattered. George. George. George Gorman. George Gorman. George Gorman. George Foreman.

That's going to be my new me. George. George Foreman. Should I get a stage alias? I feel like Joe Gorman has played out. Too many associated sexual assault. I got to start distancing myself. Yeah, it's a copyright thing.

Sir says you raped 19th women. Well, I mean, look, that was the other Joe Gorman. Yeah, that was a, my new name is Tim Meadows. Yeah. But this fucking, okay, so I looked at this. Okay, so Yacobb. Okay, so Nation Islam was started by a guy, most likely, Pakistani. Yikes.

I know, right? Potentially, just a white guy. He looks just like a white guy. This guy named Wallace Wallace Fard Muhammad, who was like selling silk in like a black neighborhood in Detroit and then started this cult. Or this, you know,

you can call all a religion, but they believe that Yakub, the scientist, is a black scientist that made white people, the white devil's, yikubians. You seem informed on this a little bit. A little bit. I've been yelled at it in the street before. A yucubian devil? Yeah, by a black Israelite. They filled me in a little bit.

Or I just, you know, I've watched from like a safe distance, but he's given it to all of us. What's funny too? Because those things are actually like inflicting belief systems. I thought when you said those things you were referring to the black Israelis. No, no, no, no, no. You're talking about their goofy rules. The mountains of Yakub. That's where we're originally from, right?

The mountains of madness. Yes. It's all HP Lovecraft. You know, famous racist and xenophobia, but very funny. very funny to go hand in hand sometimes you know what he named

his cat the N word right yeah no the N word man okay well that's given it

like a fucking like a member of the Justice League yeah I'll steal their wallet don't worry about them you know man

somehow I didn't think you could make that word you know a little less expensive man kind of makes it sound because you're like

no no no it's a man it's just the word is so I had to become what scared me most I'm going to go speak loudly into the cell phone in a public theater

My father left and I'll leave my son Anyway It's not who I am But what I do That defies me But by way You're going to get involved in this too Both the Japanese are totally involved in this

Why no? So you can we keep interrupting No it's okay This is also Sorry we're having fun dude No no please You book the super sully Joe's You're gonna book a good ass time on your phone

No I agree I agree. Look. Always goofing. Always goofing. But yeah, this guy who's basically just a Pakistani guy,

probably just a white guy, started this whole group. You can find, it's like catch me if you can. You try to do, this guy has like 46 aliases. It has like random arrest reports, all these different names.

Completely disappear as 1934, like gone or maybe 40, whatever. But apparently, there's a thing called the Black Dragon Society in Japan. They fight the Ninja Turtles or something?

It's pretty gnarled. So what they did is they got involved in a lot of black groups in America to get black people to rise up against. And part of it was having them not volunteer for the draft. So they'd be like, oh, I guess you don't really volunteer for a job, but like not sign up with the draft. Because they're like, oh, okay, we don't want you involved in the draft. And additionally, they wanted them to get against, they were like, dude, Japanese people, by way, a big liar. Like the Japanese people love black people. Oh, they hate black people.

Yeah, yeah, that's how I know. They hate black people. Anyone not Japanese really. They love the culture. hate the people. Does that make sense? Yeah, yeah, yeah. They're of a culture. This is the guy's name, by the way.

They love fried chicken. They do. There's some fusion there. This Japanese guy, hate black people. I bet you this guy did. Satakata takahashi. Satataka kataashi. Sakataka. I've heard that name.

Sashakata takashi. Well, apparently he was super involved in the NOI, which I call a nation of Islam. N-words. Outward NWI? Yeah, it was similar to NWA, yes. N-words without intent,

which is how we describe black people in America. That's crazy, right? Why would they make that an acronym? I don't know. The guy made it wasn't even black, so... Oh, well, that's why, you... He has, like, a very Stephen Seagall background.

Yeah, like, my grandma was... Have the black people ever thanked us for giving them the N-word because, like, we invented that word? buddy, I preach on every street corner the same message, you know. It's like, yeah, okay, you take it back, but like at least say a little thank you for like using our superior intellect

to think of such a funny little word. Like a land acknowledgement, but for a word. Yeah, thank you for giving us this slur that's really cool. Yeah, I agree. This is a really good point. You should tell all the black people we know about this.

Yeah, starting with who? Like all the Lord's Reces of the world? Let me go through my phone book. Yeah. How many black people do you know off the top of your head? I would say four. There was, and then there is, and then now. What?

One of my black friends died. Gunshots? No. But he died. It really bummer because it's like, well, that's... Was it a broken heart when he found out that white people made the N-word? He just, he gave up. Yeah.

No, but it is like, as a white guy, you know, Especially from Connecticut, it's like, how many more do I have? That's a, yeah, it's a big loss for you. I mean, his family can deal with it because they have other black friends. But for you, this is a huge tragedy because you have no, I mean, no likes to stand on. You have no, uh. I do miss him. I was trying to be silly.

I'm glad it worked. He's sad? A little bit. Court, I mean, not now. Right now. I think about it. Yes, I get sad sometimes. Not as sad when his cousin leaves down again.

What is his name? Uh, no. Can I guess his name? Sure. Keith? Keith? You're close but no. It's a lot less racist than I thought you were to go to. I was like, holy shit. I was like, yep, do whatever you're going to do.

Couturekete is coming right in right now. Trio. Tyrone. So you're not, Keith, and it's Keithan? Keithen? Kevin. The most. Yeah, it is. Yeah, see, I'm fucking, dude, I'm actually good about, like, guessing, like, black people.

No, you just, I've said his name before. Kevin. A real. No, I've never said his name in my life. I never. I have. Now, sir, we've never met before. Is that correct? You like a magician, but you just guess black guy's names.

I guess the black guy's name. That guy's name. Bill. A woman, it's got an A at the end. They always do. At least an awe. What was your mother's name? They really aren't, like, a lot of...

And then just don't tell me. Don't tell me. Don't tell me. Don't tell me. Don't know your father. Jesus Christ, sorry. It's horrible. You cave.

This guy doesn't cave at all. You caved immediately. I do. but I he because he has a jolly he has a jolliness I have a sunny disposition I have to kind of just be like hey kind of you know just kidding

yeah hey I would never actually kill a woman not me dude like Sally's actually killed a woman yeah for sure yeah he's like he would like show me on his phone he's like hey how do you turn off eye cloud and I was like why he's like I don't want these going to the cloud I'm like what is it it's like fucking photos of like a woman with her head

chopped off dude my phone here for three to four hours oh my God It's crazy. That's scary stuff. Yeah. And then I just say, yeah,

I was playing video games with Joe and they can't prove it. But just like Joe Rogan, now I've had a serial killer on my podcast. I know. Dude, like, when sometimes I say,

well, how's said for us, he's like, can I use your Wi-Fi? I'm like, yeah, of course. And they're like, hey,

your fucking internet's been disabled because you've been downloading child pornography. No, and I'm like, are you kidding me? Not have sex with children. I'll kill a woman,

but I won't do that other thing. This is all the, this is him trying to just, when he goes to prison, he knows because he's a jumbo, he's going to get murdered. So he killed, he had sex with kids, but then he killed women so that he gets in jail for that. Yeah, that's what you get. You always go to jail for the lesser charge. Yeah.

Everyone could understand killing a woman. Or like, you go to jail for like your most recent charge. So like you fucking, you kill a woman, but then you get like a parking ticket. So that way you only go to jail for the parking ticket. That's a great effort to catch a predator guys. Just always show up with a gun and shoot Chris Hansen. You go to jail for murder and they're like, I guess that's not a good guy to kill.

Yeah. Intent to rape a child isn't one. Intent to seduce a child. Right. It'll overshadow. You're like, I'm sorry, Your Honor.

Is it against the law to fall in love? Yeah. Is that what you're telling me? Look at me in the eye, your honor and tell me it's against the law for me to fall in love. Just one tear goes down his face. Yeah. He's like,

not guilty. He fucking slams the gavel down. That's the power of love. The predator and the child embrace. Yeah. And they live happily ever after. No, I think the mistake is like being like,

I would go to the. child, you come to me. You know? It's one of those where it's thought about this. You're like, I'll get you an Uber. Where's your address? Like, I'll get you an Uber. That's a really good point.

I thought you were them like New York City ladies. Yeah. Have you ever, have you ever got an Uber for somebody to have them come over and have sex with you? No, get an Uber to leave, if you know what I'm saying? Yeah, dude. Hey, how about a little bit of peace and quiet? You yap and females?

Yeah, she's like Michael. I'm four days late on my period and you're like, I got to get an Uber. Uber, please. Yeah. And then I do a blade. I take a helicopter out. I go to my roof.

I'm like, I'm sorry, I have to go. Then I jump. How much is a blade? Is it like an absurd amount? No, it's only like $200. I might do. Should we take a blade? We should take a dude.

Can we take a blade so like you go to comedians on the loose? The open mic you're going to. You're arriving out. Dude, you know, like that would fucking turn on so many women at that mic. That's, yeah, that's a really good idea. A lot of hot women at that, Mike. Would you go? Would you seduce them with the blade?

With the blade? With a different blade. Yeah. Yeah. In an alleyway. Whoa. Jesus. He can't stick with committing crimes and jokes.

He's like, I wouldn't fucking, I wouldn't be, I'm not like a pretend pedophile, but I'm a real, for real woman killer. Yeah. Basically what he's saying. Whatever, dude. Catch me if you can. It's funny too because the woman killing joke you can always get away with because everybody's like, this guy's that actually kill one,

but the pedophile joke, they're like, I don't know. Not okay, because that guy's actually a pedophile, yeah. Could be, but no. Not a fan. Or John Reap? No, thank you. Yeah. Who's your favorite pedophile comedian?

Christa, I guess. I mean, he's so much fun. You know what? The same name, I think he's silly. I think he's funny. Yeah, he's such a goof. Not off camera, but. Yeah.

Oops. Yeah, off cameras seems like he doesn't have very good game. It's like everyone's, like, tattling. his stories are great though it's always like him eating shrimp scampy and watching cops like a bunch of women have like the same story they're like and then i show up just hotel him and he was eating shrimps campy and watch it which is kind of a big big move that's cool yeah cops is fun dude it is really fun i wish i could set a setting what would they be saying for you i don't know probably arrested for being too big of a sweetheart like when you bring like a woman back to your room what's you're gonna say chicken tenders rolling a blunt yeah uh he got soft and then asked me to spit in his mouth Hit in avate playing Nintendo Switch. Oh, you're saying in that setup. Yeah, yeah.

I'll probably be like you try to explain Yakubian devils to me. Oh, yeah, and then we kept interrupting with incredible bits. Yeah. Then he kept stepping on. Godzilla's on. The Japanese are involved.

Yeah, we're just riffing. Yeah. I'm explaining Godzilla to a bitch. Yeah. Yeah, it's me. He's just a radioactive dinosaur, isn't that, like, the whole thing? He's so much more than that. Yeah, a little, you know, if you want to gloss over it,

Mike, whatever, dude. Okay, let's hear. Let's hear. By the way, I think the Black Dragon Society infiltrated you. I think they want you to go against the U.S. government. I think so, dude. Sully would denounce the American government. I actually served in the military.

Really? Yeah, I was a paratrooper. So we have those pants? What is veterans days? Thank you very service. Of course, yeah. I'm very happy to serve. Is that for you guys?

The pants? Is that bad? Yeah. I got these after I finished basic. Can you explain like just you show up a boot camp? Show up at boot camp. You get up there 1,500 hours. Okay.

You know, they like to keep the care? No, I had to get my hair cut. What is 1500 hours? After I got out of the army, I was like, I'm never going to get my haircut again. Right. Yeah. What's 1,500 hours in regular time? That's actually 3 p.m.

Was that accurate? Yeah. You trust me, I was in the military, dude. I had to kill a guy. You've heard of a... How? How did you do it? With a gun.

But like, it was fucking crazy. What kind of gun and what's the scenario? It was a sniper and he was coming up the hill. Mm-hmm. And I was like... I was like not today. Fucking shot in my between the eyes. Yeah, well, thank you for your service.

Can you say no thank you for, can you say no, thank you for your search? Yeah. Can you say thank you for trying to serve? Oh, are you going to get this supposed to? What's up? Are you going to get this in post too? Yeah, oh, this is all in. Yeah, this is like, but yeah.

This might be the after scenes credit. I'll have what you said. Yeah, this is like the Avengers Assemble post credit scene. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, no, it was cool to serve. like, I don't know, what's Afghanistan like outside? It was scary, it did it is gross. Yeah.

Like, they needed freedom. Like, I got, as soon as I, like, got off, like, the, as soon as I looked out there, I was like, this place needs some fucking bald eagles. Yeah, yeah. Needs a McDonald's, you know. Let's get rid of these camels. Let's replace them. Pigeons.

Is that, what's, what's the kosher word in Islam? Not, is it a. Halal. There's another word. There's, like, is this blank, meaning with Islam? Is this halal? I don't think it's that. Well, that is,

those are the similar things, but like, yeah, people, no, it's halal. There's another word. Is it alol?

No, I know what you're talking about. And I'm blinking on it as well. Word that means incongruency with like, Islam. I put congruent. You're gonna get on a fucking watch list. Yeah,

because hot dogs aren't kosher. Right. I think Mondami's in present, dude. I'm gonna get away with it over it want. No, but what is it? Oh, yeah, dude.

Oh, yeah. He's going to get rid of those hot dog carts. That's what I heard. He actually really is. What's the word? Do you know what I'm talking about? Not Hamdullah. I'm sorry, this probably gets...

Haram. Haram, that's it. There it is. I told you I had it. I don't mean to give you flashbacks to you. It was worth it. Haram. Haram.

Yes. We know stuff. Three like guys, put our minds together. Look, we can figure out Islam. Yeah. Once again, I want to give you flashbacks to your time. Yeah. time serving, which was Iraq or Afghanistan? Afghanistan.

Okay. 2003. What are we doing in like Uganda? I'll occasionally just see like... We were looking for oil. Okay. And gorillas, more gorillas. Yeah.

Microchips and grain. Interesting. Oh yeah, because I guess cobalts somewhere over there, right? Yeah. I don't know, man. Yeah. I'm not up to... I don't do world affairs.

You got to watch 24 hours of Rogan. I'll watch 24 the show. Jack Bauer. Is that a Zen? Are you Zenning? I'm throwing twosens into it. The only Islam I know is a guy seeking a dirty bomb into L.A. under Jack Bauer's nose. And that's all I want to know.

Did you call him Jack Bauer? Jack Bauer. Okay. Jim Brewer. Also, why are you, yeah, Jim Brewer, yeah. Also, why are you calling it a dirty bomb? Is that related to, is this a racism? Yeah, to do that, that bomb is also.

All Islamic bombs are dirty bombs instead of clean bombs, which we drop clean bombs. Heathen bombs? Yeah. Yeah, they're blessed, dude. They're blessed in Holy Water. They're clean. Yeah, I don't know. I think Jim Brewer is to get out of all the answers, though.

Have you heard him about how his Chappelle's a clone? Yeah. That makes sense. It's awesome. He's because he got jacked. He's like, I don't recognize this guy. Well, none of his clothes fit either. He can't get any of his clothes to fit.

I don't know what it is. Dave Chappelle? Yeah, I don't like his fits ever. He has really bad clothing. And it's his clothing, his own, like, brand. I mean, she doesn't look good. That's what happens when you don't have little Asian kids make your clothes. That's what I'm saying, bro.

It looks weird. Well, he has a little Asian wife. She might make his clothes. She makes all of his clothes. Highly likely. What are you talking about? Dude, this guy's got fit. What do you call that?

Bad. That sucks. Yeah, he looks like a janitor. Who's the best dressed comedian? Uh, fuck. Paul L. Tompkins with his three-piece suits. Yeah. Paul L.

Who's the Indian? As he's in sorry. Come out on Gianni. Yeah, he's his bust. Nymish Patel. No, Khammao Jani with his super big pecks Harri Kandabolu. That guy's the worst.

He's just getting mad of the Simpsons and All the Kill Tony guys dressed really good. I haven't seen an Indian guy in Kill Tony. No, that's fine. You haven't? That's because they're doing like the Bombay comedy. Oh, the Riyadh Comedy Festival. Yeah.

Yeah. Would you do the Riyadh Comedy Festival? People made some convincing arguments about it. Yeah. People did some great justifications for like, do the people of Riyadh not deserve comedy in the whole Bill Maher studios? Like, yeah! Louis C.K. goes high-fiving everybody. I'm like, fair argument.

Because I am like, I don't know, because I guess in theory, I don't know, I get the whole argument like, these are my fans. Like, I want to perform for my fans no matter where they are. So you're like, I mean, I don't know. People have done this, you know. Groucho Marx did stuff in Nazi Germany and, you know. I would do it for Nazi Germany. Yeah. exclusively.

I would do a podcast. We do a podcast live. Because Sally and I went super Sally Joe's. Like we look at it. And like unfortunately like a majority of our fan base is actually modern day neo-Nazis. Yeah. It's too far to turn back. Also it's been long enough.

I think these people are the neo-neo Nazis. Yeah. Like we've kind of like they're the next way. They're like retro Nazis. Yeah. Yeah. It's like you're in the next era. It's like we're not still in the punk.

They're just like 90s Republicans. Dude. They're just like, oh yeah. We're, you know, Christian. and kids should, you know, not have hormones or whatever. Shut up. Yeah. A lot of fat guys with neckbeards that, like, I don't know.

You get that kind of, I really don't like Matt Walsh. You know, Matt Walsh? Yeah. He just annoys me because apparently he used to wear fedoras. And I'm like, now I've like figured out the whole timeline of a person. You know what I mean? Now you're like, this is... I don't see how you can get behind Christian conservatives

when their whole thing is like, don't fuck anyone until you get married. It's like the lamest people who... But I think it really appeals to young kids who aren't getting pussy. That sucks. Yeah. You're going to get it. It's justification for them. Like, oh, I'm waiting.

Yeah. Oh, it's such a cop out to be like, yeah, no, I'm just like waiting until marriage. You're like, really, I didn't see the occasional guy who was like really handsome who said he was waiting for marriage. But maybe those guys have tiny weeners. You know, maybe they're just like. Yeah. There's like a different kind of insecurity. They're like, ha, ha, I tricked you.

They just pull out like a micropetus. I hate the Christianity is making a comeback. It's so annoying. You hate Christianity. I don't like religion. but it's really annoying when people Like typical Yakubian devils Yeah

But it's like people like us With that like Well no just people who are comedians Degenerates to some degree Yeah that's fine Just call me a piece of shit I'm including myself We'll say things at like a bar

And be like Yeah man well I believe in God And I know I'm right with God And I'm like but you're not I know how you are in life You're going to hell Like you died right now You go to the guise of Christianity

we'd all go to hell. Not me. Yes, you. No, not me. You have sex out of marriage. Hey, shut up. Oh, you mean with my unmarried wife?

Shut up, dude. The hell, man. One time in Atlantic City and fucking, yeah, I think I'd probably, yeah, I guess so technically go to hell, according to Christians. You would. I mean, yeah, like, ever...

The fact that we don't even keep the Sabbath holy, you know. You touched a penis. You're going. to a certain part of hell you have sex with trans women

she had a vagina that's still hell worthy God is so cool that's a manipulated penis so like God is like extra mad for deceiving for looking at his work and thinking it wasn't good enough

and you had to go to a man made vagina instead am I the only one who negatively brings this up oh I don't I don't care I know you don't I also realize it's so pointless to defend it called myself straight

because I'm like I consider myself straight some people might consider to be by just because of like that and you know, getting big. I consider you straight, but I know you just, you slip up everyone. I really do, though. Like, I never would look at you and go, like, I would never

include that. I never be like, oh, you know, Michael. Trans is like the new, like, like, thing for dudes. Well, if you had like a septum ring, long hair with like a dirty baseball cap, were way fatter and like painted your nails, I'd be like, oh yeah, he's queer, but you're not.

Yeah, yeah. It's, you just look at me, though. that guy's the sloppiness of him Metallica teacher That's a straight man right there You just have a few too many You're like whatever bro You just have a dick I'll fucking eat your pussy

It's a little more complicated But There's love involved Yeah It's okay A lot of love Damn So yeah you'd go to hell

It's okay And we'll be there with you Yeah I guess we're all What circle of hell would you go to? How many circles are there? Seven. Dante's Inferno is like the middle No Dante's Inferno is

the guys trip through hell anger wrath I'd be there being like fucking who do we hate I don't want to The fun stories are the priest You heard of that priest too Like had a near death experience

He went to hell And he said there was all these demons That were singing I think it was under my umbrella by Rehontov Yes I heard about that one What? Yeah right dude

I do remember that That's funny It's possible I opened a demon portal On Kennedy one time My apartment Really? It's not legit

I was just on drugs But yeah there was like a portal There was like a portal there And it felt like evil You went to a nice little Kayhole. Oh, yeah. The chairs were dancing like Alice, or like, fucking Beauty and the Beast, and I was just like

closed, even, port. Actually, I was more like, I have a good drug brainer. I'm like, cut this out. I'm like, I'm trying to literally watch. I was watching my podcast from my couch. Yeah, like, I'm trying to watch the greatest fucking thing in the world. Yeah. He's psychotic. You need these views up. Dude, no, I was just like, this is so bad. Like, I was watching it.

Like, this is terrible. Who is like your guest? I think it was like, I don't remember who it was, but I remember looking at me. I'm like, look at the way he's just, being a fucking liar. Not like a liar, but I'm like, you're just trying so hard

to get people to like you. It was like a real like moment. I was like, holy shit, you care a lot about what people think about you. Then I watched my old standup and just immediately forget my ex-girlfriend.

I was like, man, she was totally right about it. I was supportive. I was like, that woman is an angel. This is the worst standup I've seen in my fucking life. Wow.

Yeah. Watch a few recent clips to kind of, you know. Feel better. Yeah, I'm like, this guy's not so bad. Yeah. Sometimes they're right.

Sometimes they're right, dude. I'm like, how would you support this? I'm actually, you'd be less aligned with comedy if you supported this as comedy. She's actually a real comedy fan. That's what it was. They can't do this. Yeah. She should be a judge on Kill Tony. Give some real judging on that show. Yeah. She'd be like, I don't care if you're blind, that fucking two minutes is terrible.

Yeah. Unbelievable. Yeah. Unbelievable. The best comedian that's ever late. Are you going to do Kill Tony? I would because I am like, you know, it gets a lot of views and like, I think he's, I think he's funny on it. I think like, I'm totally for all the hate about him just being a weird kind of lame guy. But I mean, like, he's good on the show.

Like I haven't, I've seen him do stand up. I thought he was funny. But then, yeah, now it's like people are just like, there's the Civil War on comedy, you know. Yeah, it really is. Do you say retard and call things gay or not? People want to act like it's something not, but that's literally what it is. Yeah, it's so funny too. that also some people pretend

like they're not friends with people who do that outside of the Kill Tony thing. You know what I mean? Yeah, and everybody's like guilty of edge-lording to some degree. Of course. Of course, that's what makes comedy great.

Look at me, dude. Yeah. I said a bad word. I don't even remember that, dude. That's not going to be in the episode. You got to just have a nice beep. And then the audience knows, but they don't know.

I mean, I'm just going to cut it. No, it's funny. I do go back and forth. I'm like, kind of like, to some degree this is, you know, let, this is what the conversation was in this room, but yeah, I'm going to cut that for sure.

Very controversial. We got a new mayor, dude. We can't be saying. Bleep it. Dude, he's going to come here with his, you know. Hey, Mike, I heard your podcast. He's going to be smiling too much, yeah. He's going to, he's probably going to be, like, I honestly think it's like a very unsafe time

for people. A lot of people don't talk about. It's a really not safe time for guys. It's dangerous, dude. Yeah. Like, somebody could literally die. Someone who's out there trying to get pussy, and then next thing you know it's gonna be Sharia law tomorrow. Yeah. I'm very scared about not getting pussy

in this new Mondami, America. He can't wait to take it away from us. I know. People think he's gonna start it. He's gonna start at mayor, of course. Yeah. That's not where he's ended, dude.

President Mondami, 2040. Yeah, he's gonna change the rules. No hot dog stands. Yeah. Share a law. Yeah. What do you think he's gonna do to the Freedom Tower? He's probably gonna do something crazy with that.

Knock it down. Oh, you're like, oh, they're gonna demolish it. He's like, don't worry. It's gonna be a controlled demolition. he's going to wink and people are going to like, oh my God. It's happening again. Just like the first time, yeah. He's like got you again.

He's probably going to suicide vomit. Probably. You know, to be like really symbolic. Father, I'm coming on my la la la la la. And then it fucking blows up. I do like his different voices he's got there. Have you seen him doing African? Yeah.

He's just like, yeah, I can't. I can't. I can't. I can only start African by doing you are gay. Why are you gay? You are gay. Um, he's like, I love. of the Lion King.

It's my favorite movie. And everything is almost like... It's almost like you're easing into a joke. You're not quite comfortable with. You're like, what if... What if this is my house and not your house anymore?

I hate when they do... I hate when anyone in the middle of their regular voice changes... What's it called? The fucking phonetics of their thing. Like, you watch the new It episode. Do you watch the new It episode?

Do you watch the new... there's a kid in it I had no idea he was Spanish and then he's like my father back in Puerto Rico was like what the fuck this is Maine in the 60s he's like and my he was a he knew Santa Maria

and I'm like what is why and then the rest he's like anyway we live in dairy now and I'm like what the fuck is why would he brings up Spanish is he like oh I want to put a little yeah it's a little flavor to it yeah a little Cicharon on it is that the right thing did I say that right C charon yep whatever

that's definitely a thing yeah it's America yeah I don't know that is I've never seen anybody I don't know I used to have a buddy that every place you'd go

he'd start a code switching like even an Irish place he'd be like yeah I don't know a dad I don't like that's not what they sound like

my dad does that if he and I are like if he sees one of his friends he'll be like hi good to see you but if he sees a black guy knows he's always like ha ha my man

my brother give me some I swear to God he doesn't It's so bad I had to like Oh I'd tell him once We're surrounded by

You're coo be and devils But now that I told him He does it even worse And he told his black friends now And now they're kind of in on it Yeah It's pretty funny So they really just

You know Yeah they're like What's up? Yeah To him Shit man Yeah Your dad like comes marching out

He's got a bone through his nose Look what they're trying to do To us in the news He puts like He has like a fucking disc in his lip Bottom lip He's just taking... He's got a goofy on.

He's just like, Fred Flynn. So you're like, he wasn't even black, man. He was... What are you doing here? This is brutal. Yeah, man. I'm not against... I think the neck things are pretty cool.

Yeah? Or they stretch out the neck like a draft? Yeah, just because the black penis is so long, in order to get proper head. How long do you think it takes to stretch out the neck like that? I think it's probably a young age thing, right? Yeah, maybe. Same concept in the penis.

We should start putting rings in our penis to stretch them out. Yeah. Yeah. That's what they don't want to tell you. That was a weird part of Black Panther when they just had them in it, like random. They got people with discs in their, no, they just like randomly in the movie were like, by the way, there's people with discs in their faces here. Yeah. I know A-Car was trying to do like a Wakanda thing.

Oh, yeah, by putting like electricity and all these. Yeah, solar shit. Yeah. Didn't work. Failed. Oh, really? Yeah. Because everybody's like, because Caitlin Gender.

Khan got overshadowed, but I guess the project just didn't work. It probably didn't work, dude. I'm so surprised the guy that made sick T-Mobile ringtones did not know how to power a whole entire village. Wow, dude, yeah, a guy who made songs specifically about fucking women. Yeah, doesn't know how to bring power to the poor. Damn, makes you think, dude. The intent is what matters, though.

You know, if you try to do something great, just try to do something great, you know. It'll probably fail. I like the way you think, dude. Yeah. He was a big... I mean, Acon did do a lot internationally. musically where he probably thought he could do something way better

but it's just music dude you just get women to get naked sometimes is he married because I'd be very disappointed if he was not out there getting posted. I'm pretty sure his song nobody wants and this is what a girl told me in high school about it when I was in high school she told me that

the song nobody wants to see us together I think it's called but it don't matter because I got whatever the fuck it's that one is about him dating a girl who just newly 18. Oh. He's kind of right.

This one? Yep. Google, if I'm wrong. What is that song actually about that? Because if I've heard this this whole time, Jessica always be an apology.

Why would he like own up to that? It was not a big deal at the time. Think about it. It's just about a relationship between Acon and a nine-year-old. Yeah, but he's right in the song if it is Because it's like It doesn't matter

Because the law says we can be together Yeah, it's kind of right Especially in other continents It's like, yeah, dude, she's 18 She's been legal for like 10 years Yeah You know what I mean Yeah, you would be surprised

I was curious because I was running a bit Not because I'm a sexual predator But I was curious Some of the, you think everywhere Has like those like 10 year old rules But a lot of them are like 17 Whoa. What do I think New York is?

Where's my down to stay? It's on the end. Jersey's 16, right? Oh, yeah. Relax, Sally. But yeah. Just go right over that. Yeah, dude, that's why he's like,

oh, dude, we got to get booked to the dojo. Yeah, he's constantly booking gigs over there. We got to, we got to go. He's like, I got another set in, uh, another set in Jersey. Yeah, that's why he went to. And I was like, you're going in Jersey a lot.

And he's like, guys got to eat. Yeah. Yeah. He prefers the 16-year-olds. What do you think the ideal age of consent is? It don't matter. because you got her. Right.

The ideal age of consent. I think 18 is kind of a perfect one. Nobody's cool with it if you're being an 18-year-old. But my thing is I'm like, it's a little skeeby, but I'm like, I don't really care if anybody does it. I'm like,

she's grown enough. I wouldn't care. Yeah. Someone did. I wouldn't go out of my way to do it. But if it happened, you would do it. I don't know.

I don't think I would do it. If I was out and a girl was like, yeah, I'm 18 and she was smoking hot and things just happened. Yeah. But I wouldn't be like, oh, you're 18. Would you date her? No.

Can't even go to a bar. You gotta be, if we're, at least, if I'm actively pursuing you, I'd prefer you be over 21. 18 is like, she's only enough to be my daughter. Yeah, for you.

Yeah. Yeah. So yes. For us, man, that's just, you know. Another day, another dollar. Just another little girl, dude. No,

I think 21 is where I kind of drop a line. Drink. They can drink. Yeah. I wouldn't have sex with anyone younger than 32. Well, that's on you, dude. That's because you're old.

Yeah. Oh, wow. Look at me. I'm Joe. I'm so mature. I like an old bitch. If you took the average of the ages of the women I've had sex with, I'm probably the least. I'm probably the least pedophile guy this podcast.

I've got some. I don't know. Really? What's the oldest of you? Because I was I had sex with an old woman. When I was 19. I went to have sex with an 82 year old. An 82 year old?

Shut up. Interesting. Was this in Afghanistan? in. Yeah. Yeah. I was deployed and I was like,

don't worry. She's like, you killed my whole family. Yeah. And I'm like, well, let's start making a new one. Yeah.

And you took all the robes off and then her pussy was just other robes of just wrinkly hair. He was like, she had like another like little like silk veil covering it. And I pulled that back. And there was another sick veil. Yeah.

I pulled that one back. And I was like, oh my God. I'm going to be here all night. Literally blown out. Yeah. Yeah. I'm a big,

by the way, I would judge somebody if they park 19 year old, but I would not like, people like they should be in jail. Well, if they, like, brought them to, like, dinner. Because, like, Sally would always, like, bring his, like, teenage girl friends by, like, the dinner. Like, it's like, hey, you want to double date?

You know, it's like me and Kelly. Yeah, we can't go to Chuck of Cheese again. Yeah. And, like, silly would be like, okay, sure. And then, like, he'd bring his girl. And then, like, the waiter would come by and they serve menus. He's like, um, do you have a kiddies menu? Yeah.

You know, making a big deal. It's like, we're ordering shit. You know, it's like, okay, I'll have, like, the fedichini. Like, Kelly will have the chicken cordon blue. Dino Nuggy's Yeah, and then yeah So he's like, all of the steak And like, what do you want, sweetie?

Yeah, okay, the chicky fingers With chocolate milk And french fries We're both getting chicken fingers, thank you. You want to, yeah, what do you want? So you're going to be up all night. No, no, no, no, no. I think it's also a cheap cop out.

I think he just doesn't want to pay for drinks. Yeah, it's like, I only did 18 year olds. That's a good, that's the workaround, right? Shirley Temple for my late. Surely temple for my girl. And everybody listening things is just a hypothetical, but it's, it's happened. It's a 10-page manuscript.

I've literally seen it happen. Yeah. And he's like, he's like, yeah, check it out. And then he's like, yeah, I'm taking her to a show. And it's like, he just brings it to an open mic. And he's like, hey, can you put me in the first group? And they're like, it's a bucket.

So we don't know. And he ends up going like in the third group, you know, and he's all fucking pissed off about it. How many times do that's actually happened? I bet you this has happened a million times where a guy's brought an 18-year-old group. He's been like, like, watch me do my arm. It's like the move where it's like, yeah, I got to work. You want to see people do that?

You want to see me work? Oh, bring it a girl that would open bike Is it alpha move though? It's like, bitch, I don't care about you or your time. Yeah, I've seen that a lot. I brought a friend to one once And he was like, dude, I'm like, this is bottom of the barrel. Like, I'm just working on some new stuff.

He's like, no, no, no, no, I want to see that. And then like some guy went crazy. And then the next guy was like making fun of him. And the guy was just staying there staring at him. And the guy went back, grabbed a bottle of wine. And then just sat back at the open. I just drank a full bottle of wine. I don't watch him the whole of Mike.

Everybody had to leave you. Like, they got dark in there. Damn, dude. Rest and piss. Rest and piss. That's what they're going to say about me. Rest in a beautiful woman's piss. Ooh.

No, she won't be beautiful, dude. She'll be trans. That's not... What's that? Mildly attractive. Have you never seen a... Who's that conservative chick? What is it?

Dude, Blair White is fucking hot. Oh, mama me. You don't know who Blair White is? Charlie Kirk's wife? Yeah. Charlie Kirk's wife is a trans conservative. He's going to marry J.D. Vance. That's Blair White.

It would be hot. Whoa. Give me a little taste. Tell me she's not hot. Sully. No, she's not. What? You are a gay man, then.

She's trans? Yeah, dude. Yeah, so she's not. Yeah, no. She's not. What about this? Okay, so you're attracted to women with pussies. Let's look up a buck angel.

No, Buck Angel is not hot. So this is, you're attracted to women with her. No. I mean, Angel is a man. Whoa, what the hell? Wait, wait. You just acknowledge. trans. So that's a man.

That is a man. The man has a pussy. Gross. Is that still a man? It's truly gross. Not a fan. No offense, Buck Angel. You won't care. Bucking Angel's kind of would change for me on trans stuff because I was like, that is a dude. Even though the dude has a vagina, that's a dude. Let me see. Oh, that's crazy. That's wild.

I'm not a fan of that. I wish you warned me of that. Let me see it one more time. Oh, God, yes. Yes, I was like, oh, God, he's got like a visible bonus. Get it out of here. I'm like, I'll stand up and show you. while not hard. That's one of God's beautiful creations. Half.

To really be Christian, you've got to appreciate the work of God. Was Buck Angel born like a man with a vagina? Older pictures of him are like, you're like, that's kind of more ladylike, and then just full beard and jacked as hell. And you're like, that's a dude. That's more of a dude than me. Yeah. Yeah.

If somebody fucking Buck Angel, I'd be like, you're gay, even though Buck Angel is a pussy. I think, that's, that is gay. That disturbed me more than. Charlie Kirk's neck exploding. I'm not going to lie. I was on with Charlie Kirk's neck exploding. He was, well, yeah.

He hollogrammed, dude. It's totally fake. Like, people think that's disgusting, but. That didn't see, that, that bothered me more. I was like, watching a guy get murdered. I was like, it was fucking crazy. It was bothered me at all, dude. Yeah, that was fine.

Don't even. Yeah, I'm sure once you've killed 19 women and had sex with the 42 children, you're like, watching a gagget. 43. I did that for America. No, Joe, we're not talking about you. And your cruise.

Brades bringing Christianity to the Middle East and having sex of the old Afghani women. Did you dye your beard, orange like them? I did. Yeah, yeah. Just to fit in. Yeah. I was, yeah, I was like,

it was immersed in the system. Can white people do that? Because, like, I think it's an Islamic thing to dye your hair beard. No, it's just a cool thing to do. It's like, remember in the 90s when, like, kids would have their tips frosted? It was kind of like that, but they're going through like an emin phase right now.

Just going through an emo face. In Afghanistan. Yeah, I thought that was natural, by the way. And I talked to my dad about it. He's like, yeah, no, some Afghanistan people have, like, some European or some sort of heritage that gives them orange beards. And then there's, like, one chapter in the Quran that says something about Mohammed having an orange beard and it's all, like, we got to die at orange, dude.

Yeah. Yeah, I thought it was natural. It's not. They're rebelling against their parents. Yeah, fuck you, mom. Fuck you, dad. I won't do what you're told me. I'm going to look like a really cool guy.

killing in the name of a law aren't they much of posers now don't they? Because everybody's like, they're all like fuck the system and they charge like crazy expensive for the tickets. Yeah, crazy expensive. Like it's like 400 bucks a ticket. Yeah, no, rage against the machines. Honestly, they're... Everyone sold out, man. They suck. They have one good, they have like one or two good songs.

They can suck my name. What are the one good songs? Killing in the name of... That's it. Yeah. What other, like, hit do they have? I like, rolling out the Bentley with a pocket full of shit. Yeah, pocket full of shells is another one. On one album, and they did four hours.

Sleep now in the fire? I don't like them. Sleep now in the fire. Who controls the past? Anyone who's like a musician who's like, the way I fight against where Revolution is to music? It's like that's not, does nothing.

Actually does negative. You're doing a disservice. Like, you should, if you actually think that shit, you should organize a revolution and kill the cops. Well, I also, I mean, you have clearly not seen what Jeff Daniels is doing. He's pulling out of the acoustic guitar on NBC. He's like, this is how I cope.

He plays a little. That sucks. Oh, I disagree. I think it's the best. He's just Daniels. The guy from Dumb and Dumber. Oh, is that from the show, the newsroom? Yeah.

I mean, that's kind of his, like, less noticed work, but he's really gotten big on his acoustic guitar tour where he's bringing it on, you know, Kelly Clarkson show. That's awful. Yeah. I would hate that. It's pretty bad. Yeah.

Can we all just get it all? It's him and the ability. Bob Thornton, I was talking about. Those guys just, being a famous actor, just not good enough. They're like, I got to be. Dude, Billy Bob is now, like, a right-wing actor, it rules. Oh, really? Yeah, you've seen Landman?

No, it's in a movie he did? It's a show. It's on Paramount Plus, and it's about him being like an oil like an oil company's knock-around guy. Like, he goes, he just solves all the oil company's

problems in this Texas town. county or whatever, it rules. It's hilarious. There's a scene in it. You should look it up. He takes the lawyer, the liberal lawyer. She's like, I don't like oil. He's like, let me show you something. He pulls her over to like the side of the road to windmills. And he's like, you see that windmill?

Powered by oil. Made by oil. It just goes on this like five minute rant about how oil is in everything. And that she better shut her lib ass up and learn something. And the whole time she's just like looking at him and like shaking her head like, damn, Billy Bob Thornton's getting horny. Is that a Taylor Sheridan? Yes. Of course it is. Of course it is.

Who's Taylor Sheridan? He's like the yellow stone. Yeah. Sicario. He does like all the same stuff where it's basically like fucking country boy is good. Yeah. Lib tards by it. Where it's like it's always like these like guys or it's like, you know, it's like the Billy Bob Thornton's character or Kevin Costner's character.

Or Elliot what's his name? Yeah. Elliot who's just like, I wish things could just go back to way. Yeah, it's like, we're just simpler people. Sam Elliott's in season two, baby. Let's go. Yeah, I don't like that guy either. I don't know anything about him.

I don't like him. I don't like Billy Bob Thornton. You don't like me? I don't know I don't like. He's just, I'm like, you know you just hang out with him. And he's like, back in my day, we didn't eat pussy. We would spit in it and then drill it for oil. And you're like, you didn't do that. Like, there's, I don't know.

What's his name? Yeah, everything they do in the show to, that I love about those shows is like the main character like Bill about Thorne like Sylvester Stallone. They'll meet a liberal in like a doctor. The doctor will be like, you need to get stitches.

He'll be like, I don't need stitches. And the doctor will be like, fine, bleed to death, retard. And they'll be like, I like you. It's so terrible. It's the worst shit. But I watch all of it. It's like funny because it's like,

oh, I got to. And like now we got to finish Yellowstone, even though it's like clearly going to be. a fucking cluster fuck. Yeah, I actually never could get too into Yellowstone, but Tulsa King and Landman, you gotta watch those. I just, I can never

I try to watch fucking fucking, uh, nah, nah, act. And I'm like, uh, I really don't like that, Guido. Yeah, he, no. You want to kill him, huh? I thought his face was done by, like, surgery, but apparently his face was fucked up when they were, like, giving him birth. Yeah, he made his mom's

pussy, like, clenched, quinted, as the Jamaicans call it. tightened around his head as it came out. I'm such a square head because my mom's pussy so tight because I'm Italian, I got to say my mom is the best pussy of the planet. My mom's pussy so tight it made me look really nice. Yeah.

My muscles are big and my mom's pussy muscle is even bigger. Mom, let me get some of that tight pussy. Sylvester Stallone, not even paraphrased. Yeah, that was, and you can Google that. Yeah. You do all this. You do all that. And you'll just, they'll have to like,

take their glasses off and do this and be like, God, they're right on everything. Yeah. Yeah, that's what I think. I think most listeners of morning good are in a laboratory right now. Probably, you know, reverse engineering UFOs. Tapping a, tapping a pencil against their mouth going,

what does he mean? What does he mean by that? Yeah. There's a lot of subtext to this, by the way. Yeah. There always is. These ends are making me feel like I'm going to throw up, so I do you need to wrap up soon.

Why did you eat like four while we were doing this? I don't know. I felt slow. I'm shy. was scared to talk to you guys. So Joe is always so nervous for this. We do like a practice podcast before. Yeah.

Well, like, I guess it's like a good way to announce that Michael Good is officially the third member of Super Sully Joe's. Yeah. Welcome aboard, man. Thank you. Is there anything I need to know before joining? No, you just speak from the heart. Okay. There's no contract.

It's not like Rogan where you have to be here for exactly 72 hours. Yeah, exactly. No. It's like we're way loosey-goosey. So watch the new newly rebranded Super Sully Joe starring Michael Good. Yeah. Yeah. That'll come out at some point.

Yeah. Yeah. I'm excited. You want to promote your Instagram? I mean, I guess so, yeah, my Instagram is at Joe W. Gorman. And, yeah, I depend on when this comes out. I am probably currently at Skank Fest in New Orleans, having a great time. So if you're there, hopefully we did drugs together.

That's going to be so much fun. I can't wait, man. The other ones are fun, right? Yeah, this is going to be a blast, dude. This one's going to be awesome. It's Louisiana. I love New Orleans, dude. I'm going to eat an alligator.

Dude, I've been. You ever had it? Yeah, it's good. It's really good. Yeah, I like it. Yeah. I also, I could see you as like a Bayou guy. I think I'm going to move there.

Yeah. It's a fucking part. I love Seager they just expect you to be stupid. Yeah. Like you show up drunk and they're like, yeah, of course, you should be. Yeah, come on. It's Louisiana. Yeah.

And what about you? Uh, guys, follow me at Silly Selly on Instagram. Uh, follow our podcast, Super Selly Joe's on YouTube, iTunes, Spotify. We just got, we just broke 500 followers. Just subscribe. so you can be one of those followers. And I'm doing my show. I mean, it's in February 20th.

I'm doing a show at Concentric Brewing Company in Connecticut. Don't go up for a woman, though, because apparently he's going to kill you. I will kill you. But if, yeah, if you saw this had fun and you're doing nothing in February and Connecticut come through, that'll be fun. Well, I think with my new Nation of Islam following base, they will be doing stuff in February. So what is all this about the Nation of Islam? What's up? What is that story

about Yacoub? He's a black scientist has invented the white devil. Nice. Yeah. No relation to Islam, basically, besides they don't eat pork. Basically,

I guess Malcolm X joined and it was like, that shit's crazy, and then he got shot by them. But then everybody's like, it was actually the FBI, but I'm like, I don't know. And then Muhammad Ali was like,

this seems cool. And then he was like, nah, it's, yeah. Captain Larry Yakubian? No, no, no. It's Yaqub,

the scientist. He was like a giant. head. I think that's... We're going to do a little research session after this. Thank you, thank you.