Morning Good - You Ain't A Real Pimp - Episode 168

Episode Date: May 7, 2023

Christophe Jean and Michael Almanzar return to the show for today's episode. They talk about how to give a compliment sandwhich, vaguely foreign TV show characters, and what it's like to be a pornstar and a dad.Thanks to Christophe and Michael for coming back on the show, check them out together on Episode 154 or hit their links down below for more.Mike is on Instagram @mkealmanzarcomedy. Christophe is on Instagram @chrisjeanofficial, and check out Christophe's new podcast the Rough Week Show as well. As always, find Michael Good on Instagram @michael_good1125 and on Twitter @agoodmichaelThis podcast was produced by Paxton Fleming, you can find him on Instagram @yaboypax 

F. Shack. Love dirty Mike and the boys. Hey, are you dirty Mike and the boys? How you know who we are? What's this? They called the podcast? Morning gold, I love that. Yeah, it's me with the boner on the front.

Welcome to morning. And we're here with Christopheed off Jean. Oh, shit. Oh, fuck. Are we going? I was just fat shaming, Michael. Michael Almanzar. No shame.

Who's also, that's a great way to introduce him. Oh, yeah, it's Michael almost all right. The, dude, did you see that video? It's like, it's like at like a Comic-Con. Yeah. And they're like, you can see anybody. And there's this, like, fat guy dressed as Raiden. And the newscaster goes,

Nice. Like, this guy dressed as Kung Fu brady. Yeah, dude, that's Michael. I don't even know karate. That's fucked. It's just from a Michael just standing around in a fucking hat. And they're like, look, he's a panda. Look, he's wearing a hat like a panda.

Those Oreos, and he's fat Yeah, dude. Dude, I was watching Kung Fu Panda Rips, dude, honestly. That was the, I think that was a really underrated time of Jack Black's career that bleached hair. Yeah, that's when he was, that was Tropic Thunder and that movie came out at the same time. Killers. Yeah, yeah. I mean, two of the, yeah, back to back.

Yeah. Double feature. He, uh, I read some weird article about him doing heroin or something like that. What? It wasn't like he was like in doing it, doing it. He's like, yeah, like somebody mailed me. heroin and I snorted it. No way.

And he's Jewish. That's crazy. Jack Black is Jewish? He's Jewish, yeah. I think on his mom's side. No way. Yeah. Jewish. He's so, like, fat and I don't know.

It just kind of makes you... He's too fat to be Jewish. Right. Yeah, a little bit. Yeah, yeah, yeah. There's no way because, like, Jewish people are picky about their food. He just goes to eat everything. He's bulking up on the filter fish, dog.

And he got fat off bachables. It's good free. How's you doing it? They're like, Jack, stop eating so much brisket. He's like, I'm a rock star I'm eating pastrami That's fat Jack Black I could see him being like a shameful Catholic

That's why I see him more Yeah, I thought of him as more Catholic But like a deviant one Like a Chris Farley type Yes, exactly Who just like that hates themselves But basically just his character I'm trying to think of a fat Jew

A fat famous Jew I mean Jonah Hill He's not fat anymore I believe Yeah he's black now Didn't you see the new movie? Yeah With the CGI kiss Dude, that was awesome

That movie was the least chemistry I've seen between two leads Did they have to animate the kiss? Yeah, that's what I was just like, whoa, this is wild Was it a peck? I didn't see the movie It's like they're not even in the same movie It's bizarre

It's bizarre I started watching it. I've been kind of like just throwing on things What was it called? You people You people. Yeah, nice Yeah, the wax

Blacks Black. That's White people. That was the other working time. Yeah, that's a wild. That's a wild, like,

racy name. Well, that's what they were going for. They're like, this is the kind of thing you're not going to see in other studios. Yeah, I guess so. This has edge, and then I watch it.

It didn't seem, I guess it did. It was very topical. That's all I remember. It's very topical movies. It's like the references. It's like, this is going to be a reference for like a week.

And this is like a tweet you just shared. And like, I hate when they get too into it. Like, it's like, they'll, they don't. I did that a lot with Knives Out. Oh, yeah. Yeah, my buddy hated Knives Out. The guys are, oh, I'm like, I'm supposed to be Joe Rogan, but I shoot guns.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, is that Knives Out 2. There's a total. Oh, that's what I mean. That's what I mean, yeah, yeah. Yeah. Well, Knives Out One even is like, we got the little Reddit Nazi. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

It's Daniel Craig. That's what Daniel Craig says. He's like, we got the little outright neo-Nazi. Yeah, yeah, yeah. He's Forrest Gump, but he can solve mystery. Dude, I just found out, I've always wondered because Schwarzenegger grew up in Austria. I was like, what was his, I didn't realize his dad was a Nazi.

No! How do you think he's so strong? Pure bloodline. It's like, yeah, it's the good genetics. You know, genetics is a very big part of being. You just see like Arnold's Bredgeman. It's like a, it's like one of those treadmills, but he's just looking at like a Jewish propaganda.

sprinting bull speed at it. Yeah, it's like with a carrot on a stick. It's just a Jewish man. I'm going to get you. You know those things from the grip strength?

Instead of like one of those, he's like crushing a menorah. I hate the Jews. But I think he's like over, he's gone the other way. I was going to say overcorrected, but he converted. He loves Hollywood.

Yeah, in a good way. He's like, yeah, yeah. He's like, I like the Jews. I love Jews now. I used to hate them. That's why I got into bodybuilding. I wanted to be strong and kill all the Jews. Dude, that would be awesome.

Yeah, I saw also a funny PSA came on yesterday about that. It was like this guy and his son. Not about that. A PSA? It was like a Jewish PSA. Where did you see this? It was on it. My girlfriend's been watching that show.

whatever that yacht show is, where they're like, they're like workers on a yacht. Okay. Juice at sea, yeah. It's very funny to imagine that, like,

just on your, like, algorithm, it's like, by the way, stop being anti-Semitic. Oh, yeah. You're just scrolling through TikTok.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. And it's, hey, Michael, fuck off with the juice stuff. All right, fine. Yeah, the next clip is on us as well.

I don't like to. Yeah. No, it also seems like he's, like, doing like, a good, he's like, one of those guys he was, like, meeting with, like, white supremacist

and trying to, like, convert. He's, like, doing, like, the... He's not just, like, yelling at people. Like, he's trying to, like, actually, like, do a lot of effort to, like, correct. I mean, I don't know. That's kind of a good move. Send to Arnold, like, to the clan. He's a great one.

Yeah, yeah. He's an Austrian. They love Austrians, historically. And they're, like, intimidated by him. Yeah. So it's like, hey, if you don't stop being racist, I'll kill you. Yeah. Okay.

Yeah. He's like, if you're not anti-racist soon, I'll be back. they're like, oh yeah, he said the thing. Sorry, what were you saying? So she watches that like yacht. It's one of those, it's kind of nice to watch. Life on deck. That's what it is.

Maybe that's right. It's on brow. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Sweet life on deck. Yeah, I'm sorry. But it's just one of those where people are living on yacht. It's like the crew. The help.

Yes, yes. Yeah. Yeah. It looks great because you kind of feel like you're on a boat when you're watching it. Because, like, I don't know why. It's a good escapism. But anyways, there's this commercial where his dad drives his son and he stops the car. And he goes, I saw your Twitter.

Because I saw you posted, Hitler was right. He goes, what the hell were you thinking? And he goes, how but you go say it to their faces? And then he's in front of like a synagogue. And he's like, I'm sorry, Dad. It said like, Hitler was right. It was tweeted 700 and whatever times this year. And I'm like, it was a weird thing because I was like, who's that for?

Like, I don't know who's that for. It's for people tweeting Hitler was right. They're like, oh, I never thought about it now. It's like, that's, how I deranged you have? If you're tweeting Hitler's right, that's not even like joking on a podcast. It's like, I don't immediately cover my basis. That's not like a couple guys having fun. We're being serious.

Yeah. You didn't put Hitler was right, L-O-L. I'm just imagining him like checking it over and Hitler is right. Yeah. was right. He was right. Hitler was the coolest. But his spirit still here, so he still is right. He's inside of all of us.

Hitler was right, and now he's wrong. There's the times. There's the times. That's so funny that he's like, it's like, oh, you want to be racist and smoke the whole pack. Go in there. Here's an AR-15.

Commit a hate crime. Oh, you want to tweet something? Take this gun. Yeah, yeah. It's crazy because it's like, yeah, it's like, that's a funny thing too. It's like, what if his son just like went and he's like, thank God? I don't have a car. I can't drive to Seneca.

You got it spray paint? That's good. Yeah, he comes out and he's like, I actually really liked it there. His dad's like, no, no, no, no. We're too far. Too far. He over corrected. You usually have to be so wild to tweet Hitler is, like, that's just like the worst possible

tweet you could do. It's also just like. besides one that starts with an end. I don't know what's worse. But I think he would just get instaband, right? Doesn't it just like pick that? Not any, I don't know. Because like,

I think Elon's cool. Yeah, yeah. But then he banned Kanye for like doing like a, Kanye did like a swastika inside of the star David. Which symmetrically looks cool. It looks cool. It's yeah, dude, it's the, yeah, dude, it's cool. Right angles look cool.

It's just what it is. It's like the cool ass. Yeah. It's like a two of them next to you. But it's also, that was funny too, because I looked up like what that meant. And apparently there's like this weird religion where they like believe in aliens. And that's what that has nothing to do with. But they just chose the most crazy emblem.

Yeah. I mean, that's just like a come look at us. Yeah, yeah, for sure. No, that's not a fucking Confederate flag. That's my new religion. Yeah, yeah, yeah. The flag happens to look similar. Yeah, yeah.

Right, yeah. I mean, it's a, it's just kind of being psychotic and being like, like, I discovered a new symbol. He literally thinks, he's like, I've unlocked symmetry and geometries that no one's ever seen me. And it's just a swastika.

A tattoo on his chest. He's like, but it's backwards so I can see it in the mirror. It's real shit. That's real shit right there. Hitler invented the mirror. I'm tired of people being mean to Hitler.

That was the greatest thing. to come out of that debacle. We need to stop putting Hitler in bad. In the same sentence. I think it's funny because what he was trying to say was like everybody's God's children. You should love everybody to matter how evil they are. But that's not. Yeah.

Like that's before saying I like Hitler is actually says worse than I love Hitler. Because you're saying like a love is like. He's talking about a divine love. Yeah, yeah. But saying I like, he's like, no, I like him. They're like, yeah, we're all God's children. And he had good ideas. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

And the Jews are terrible. Yeah. Wait. You ever see someone be like, yeah, Hitler was bad, but the economy, the economy's government

was amazing. Well, I've noticed with sentences like that, you always got to say the bad thing second. Because if you say the bad thing first,

if you say, what Hitler did with the highway system was very intuitive, but he was such a monster. Yeah. Sounds so much, way better than...

It was a monster. But... The Autobahn. Wow. And that's just general argumenting. Like, I was telling my parents

I'm like, you guys argue each other. Start with the, I'm, you start with like, I love you so much. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Such a sweet pee. Or no, the other way, you got to say, you were, you were wrong about this. You were absolutely wrong. But I also should listen better. Yeah.

And then you're like, ooh, he's on my side. That's a fucking deba. That's just so mean, dude. Yeah. You're sweet bitch, but I like the way you cook food. Yeah, you got to make a compliment sandwich. Yeah, yeah, exactly. That's what it is.

That's what I heard in like that's like a corporate thing. It's called the compliment sandwich. Yeah, yeah. Or a shit sandwich where you put the shitty thing between two compliments. Like you've been an amazing employee. You need to show up on time more because when you're here it's so much better. Oh. That's emotional manipulation on like another level.

My boss loves me. I hate that shit, dude. I hate the nice boss. I'm like, dude, just be a cunt. Like just be me. Yeah, it is hard because it's like, I kind of had that going on with my work now where I'm like, I can tell my boss is like, she's saying like nice. And I'm like, you can just tell me I'm a fucking retard. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

I know I'm, like, I'm, one of those things recently. I know you fucked up. Yeah, yeah. Where it's like a Zoom meeting and they're talking and they're like, all right, my name hasn't been mentioned in five minutes. That's a great time for me to zone out completely. Yeah. And then they're just like, Michael now, do you want to show us what we just did? Oh, dude.

Oh, dude. Yeah. Yeah. I'm quizzed you. I was like, I have no idea. I don't know. And I tried to pull it up. I just started going to Excel, and I'm like clicking on the sheet.

Yeah. And I'm just clicking at different places while I'm trying to think of. I think my mouse is broken. Yeah. You got to have something saved that just crashes your computer every time. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. You'd be like, oh, whenever you run this program, it just makes your computer restart. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

And then, like, they can see if you're screen sharing, it's like, you know, if you got a Mac, a little wheel goes nuts. And it's like, me, der, der, and then it just crashes. What are those fucking, what do you call it? like anonymous videos just comes on my tree. We have Michael Goods computer. Give him a raise and a compliment. Or we will show you him show you his dick.

And then it just cuts to me like taking off the mask. Got him again. We got him again, dude. Those anonymous guys are not cool. They're corny. Oh, of course. They've never said anything that, like... They're gonna hack me, dude.

I'm so scared. I mean, they're awesome. It's funny the way they do things, though, because they're always just like, Donald Trump is going down. Yeah, yeah. Nothing happens. Yeah.

I mean, I just think, I think sometimes they do cool shit when they'll be like, this guy's a pedophile. So I'm like, dude, that was just a god. Yeah. There was like a TikTok of him being mean to a woman, and they're like, we know where you live and you have documents

and documents. of CP on your phone. Oh no. Also, how many those hackers do you think are watching so much child? That's like the demographic. Like, dudes in like basis. They have taste in it now.

They're good at the internet. You have 10 terabytesers. Kids sucking cock. Taking up the ass. Limbrim jobs. I've seen all that. They watch everything. They'll be gonzo, doggy style.

Every kind. It's sick. you've had CP cuck porn or someone else is fucking the kid dude this is so funny because yeah I was like grossed wait real quick

and the CP cuckport is the pedophile getting cuff that makes more sense there's another pet that would make more sense oh man dude come on my boyfriend it's too small dude it's like yeah dude I've grossed out like a an old friend of mine

with this almost exact conversation the other day because I was like there has to be genres of it and he looks at me genre he's just horrified I'm like it's grotes but it's still

an art form I mean it still can be classified like anything else Christo Zinn you want to share I have reading glasses on dude the funny is like I found a reason, you know how the airports, they have those signs that are like

keep an eye on for sex trafficking? Yeah. Are you supposed to keep an eye out for that? Yeah, I don't know, but that really triggers like the Q&on guys. Yeah. So there's a video. It's an old video, but I'm just seeing it now.

It's a guy, have you seen the guy at the airport saying, I'm not afraid by Eminem? No. Dude, it's amazing. This guy's at the airport. And he goes, start recording, goes, he's yelling at the security. He goes, I'm not afraid.

And you see him, like, trying to eat, because he thought, like, the whole airport was just going to, join in. It's like a Venturing candidate thing. Yeah. And he thought everybody was just going to jump out. Nobody is. And so he's just yelling.

And he's like, I can't keep living this way. And then he's like, there's sex traffic going on. And you guys are all complacent. They're going to Rico Tico's titty bar. They're bringing the kids there just saying like, no little nonsense. I'm like, oh, that makes sense if you're like a crazy Q&on guy. Yeah.

You would see a science that's keep an eye out of sex trafficking. Then you go, I got to be the hero. Like now. Yeah. Yeah. dude, you think you're a fucking patriot. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You're gonna save the kids.

Yeah, so you just see like a black daughter with like a white dad and you're like, sex traffic. Hey! She's adopted, but why do you adopt her? She's hot, is that why? It's just like a shitty white mom with a kid on a leash.

Yeah. Hey! You punt the kid. Get behind something. Be safe. I feel like all this starts. First time, if you're stealing kids, why the fuck would you do it at an airport? That's insane.

I don't know. I mean, I guess you got to move them. Yeah, but that's like one of those where you get. Kids got to get to Alaska some way. Yeah, but I feel like this. Is that what's going on in Alaska? Yeah. Kind of would make sense.

It's kind of a... No, they do. Do babies have passports? Is that like a thing? I don't think they need a passport. That's mine, fucking. You're looking at the baby passport, looking back at the baby. Same baby.

baby. What is your name? Business or travel? There's a whole line. Speed it up. You get to look at the cameras hard. Dude, I was looking back. There's a picture of my grandma

with Alzheimer's in all of her, like the grandkids. And there's like 10 pictures of her not looking at the camera. Oh, yeah. And then one. And then I remember my dad just like clapping and snapping and like trying to get the like...

Yeah. It's so funny. You start playing a jazz record. Yeah. Mm-hmm. Bam-mm-mm. She's so old She thinks cameras

Like seal her soul Like no No That's the devil How is that me there? Who is that lady? With my family She regrets herself

But not her family Who's that lady? Who's that ugly old woman? My granny had Alzheimer's And she went from sometimes being in a good mood and generally being kind of like a little crotchety sometimes

just kind of being like an old lady so being always nice yeah that could happen once the brain just gets fully fried she was just like so happy yeah you're just in Magaritaville at some point dude at some of her she landed in Margarita yeah he's having a great fucking time

all the great depression memories gone last like yeah three four years we're just her like I love everybody They're like, Granny, what are you doing today? And she'll be like, I got to go vote at the penitentiary. And you're like, what the? It's just like a nothing.

Yeah, I mean, she was living, she was living the highlight. Yeah, yeah, I think for the most part, but it's, they're trying to find a cure. And it's like, it's one of the things. It's like, I think it's just your brain getting, like, I don't think they're even close. Like, it's like your brain just getting destroyed. So it's a whole time. Yeah, yeah. It's like, I don't think there's a way to fix, like, holes in your brain.

brain. Yeah. I don't know that's what it is. It's basically like you're taking Molly. Yeah.

There's holes in your brain. They're like, Doc. They're fucking holes in there, man. What are we to do? You know? How much? I'm supposed to seal that.

I think like stem cells could do it. Apparently there's like, that's what Steveo. I saw this video of Steveo going down to like Columbia to get like stem cell therapy because he has like bad CTE from being like knocked in the face so many times doing jackass.

You know what? There was a little concern there for a second because I was like, oh, is his brain damage from drugs? And then I started, and then I was like, oh, thank God. I just have to knock it. I can keep doing drugs. But like, yeah, yeah, you know what I mean? Just don't get hit in the head.

Don't be shot out of a can or whatever. Doing drugs, probably. I mean, there's tons of drug addicts who don't develop, they don't kill their wife and kill themselves. Yeah, yeah, then you get hit in the head. They don't go full bin wall. Or what's his name? The gay one.

Aaron Hernandez. Yeah, yeah. Oh, he was gay? Yeah. Yeah. No! That's the worst thing about him. That's wild. I didn't know that.

He was a closeted homosexual. Yeah, what was that whole story? From what I understand, I mean, he had CTE. He killed a guy. I don't know why. He's just an erratic, violent, crazy person for getting hit in the head. And allegedly, it was like a closeted homo sexual.

I think it's like when you keep that love of cock inside you for too long, it makes you go crazy. Yeah. I heard that's glad you're doing all right. I heard the funniest analogy. So I've been watching, I'm telling you about these deep, dark interviews. It's called the Underbelly. Yeah, it's soft-white underbelly.

Dude, they're great. Have you watched him? I've watched a few of them, yeah. They're crazy. There's one guy who's like a pedophile. Yeah. And he starts talking and goes, they're like, how many boys have you had sex with he goes, what's the old saying?

You know, there's as many dicks as me as there are points on a porcupine. I'm like, what? Jesus Christ. Like, I've never heard that expression, but that is hilarious. It's funny to get folksy around your child pedophiles. Yeah. Your child's sex practices. He's like, what's the expression of a dick in my mouth?

He's like, well, there's more than one way. There's more than one way to fuck a kid. I trust him as far as I can change his diaper. Jesus. What are you like a damn? He's like sitting on a porch with a damn fissile in his mouth. I fuck kids all over these years. On the yonder and them roots and them caves.

Grandpa, tell us about the time. you fucked a kid in a while when he was stuck there not six hours I did disgusting things I did disgusting things I had to kill him couldn't have my name

me around the drug around town man is the only good is his name is yeah that's the pedophile I wonder if pedophiles have like folk heroes You heard of Johnny Apple seed in the kids' ass? Paul Bunyan.

He fuck kids across America. Right across. Yep, he'd run around town with his child raping axe. He's the reason we have Amber Alert. Old Johnny Amber. Drove from California, New York. His fucking kids. Free Highway.

Yeah, that's fucking crazy. Yeah, those are nuts. There was one, it was really interesting. There's a meth head schizophrenic. And it was the most interesting, because my biggest fear, not only a big fear, but I have a fear of losing my mind. It's part of my OCD. It's not like a genuine logical fear.

But it's like you worry about that. And then there's a schizophrenic just high on meth. And I saw this glance in his eyes. And I'm like, that's the happiest I've ever seen a human being. Now, I'm sure the next day he's like crying and trying to get himself. But in that moment I was like, it's so fascinating that like the bottom of life, he's like homeless. Yeah.

They're still like, he's probably happier than the interviewer is right now. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. But he's also like, this guy smells like fucking shit. But he's also like hearing voices that are like, kill your family, kill your family. Yeah. Dude, he said he lit a house on fire because he thought like a child was getting raped in there. Yeah.

And the child was like, apparently just a bunch of guys having a party, like a Super Bowl party. He's heard of them yelling. And then he heard a voice. Yeah. It was like, oh, there's a child there. Or it was like, please help me, but light the house on fire. So that, so that, because if you go in here and try to stop it, they'll all kill you. but if you like the house on fire, I can run out the back.

Yeah. And then he just lit some dudes' house on fire. Yeah. I like how, like, the voice in his head is almost like a cod mission. It's like, step one, like the house on fire. Step two. Save the kid. Save the child.

Step three, more meth. Step four, fine, man. Yeah, dude. Yeah, that's funny, too, with the interviewer is like, do you think maybe meth is not helping with their schizophrenic? And he's like, yeah, you're probably not. But I don't know. I mean, if I'm going to be schizophrenic. Yeah.

I might as well also be on math. I don't understand. What's your point? It's like I'm already fucked up, my head's fucked up. I might as well be blasted. They always start somewhere where it's like, have you,

do you have a history of schizophrenia? And he's like, no, no, no. My mom had cancer, though, which is really bad. And then towards the end, she started hearing voices. But you're like, that's, that, that is. Yeah. That is. I've heard you can start, I don't know,

I swear I heard this, that there's some chemo thing that makes you a little like, your brain. Interesting. Yeah. I was trying to remember what, because my buddy Joe had cancer, died. His balls got so big that exploded and bled out.

Joe Jacks? No, he's alive. He's alive. But how he died, his ball got really big and then he started sucking on it. Choked on his own nuts. He choked on his own balls. Like one of those giant gobstoppers. Yeah, he was like, is that what they call with their jawbreakers?

Jawbreakers. Yeah, he did that and then it slipped down his throat. That'd be a weird fucking, what's it called? Edited Eddie character got a giant ball in the house. I'm sucking on your bows, it's definitely Rolf, dude. In my country, we all suck a boughs. Traditional men, we suck a boughs.

Dude, I love a vaguely foreign character. Oh, yeah, Mrs. Swan was one. Mrs. Swan was Chinese. No, they made it like they did it well. I know she was Chinese, This is one had a black bob cut Yeah but but but there was like If they ask where she's from she says like nonsense

Yeah I don't know She seemed Eastern. She did she did Eastern Asian coded Yeah yeah It was like she looks Asian but she might have been Communist What's her name? Alex Bornstein

You're good Jesus She's just a Jewish woman Right So I don't know She's like well we had the Holocaust So now I can do Chinese characters all the time I think that's fair. Yeah.

Yeah, totally. I don't care. No. That was Matt TV. They're like, this is Bobby Lee, but he is a scientist, but super a shit. Yeah, yeah, dude. He had a character that. Do I push these butt?

Didn't he have a whole character that was just going, uh-oh, hot dog? Yeah. That was uh-oh, hot dog, dude. I remember howling as being 10 years old, like, uh-oh, hot dog, what the fuck? Dude, they had one. This is so funny. Where there was like a, so some of them were hilarious and I loved it, but I watched one the other day. Yeah.

It was literally just a gang. that was gay. That was the whole thing. He's like, gay, what if I blow you got? Oh, like an Italian gangster. Yeah, yeah. And I was like, why is,

this is the whole sketch. Oh, fucking gay. Yeah, yeah. Really, you can't be gay, but I lost a fucking car. I think it was the meatballs. This is what got me gay. They're just like,

would it be funny if a gay man had initiative and wanted to actually hurt other people? Yeah, what if, yeah, what if Tony's brain was gay? Yeah. I mean, they did that. I mean, they did that. I mean,

I mean, one of the guys is, well, no spoilers, but have you seen Sopranos? Yeah. That's funny. Have you seen Sopranos? It's good. Not all of it. Why? Are you going to watch it?

Oh, you got to watch it. It's good. There's a gay character? Oh, yeah. There's a gay. Yeah, Vito. Vito's gay. He's gay.

He's gay. He's, like, super gay, and he wears, like, a leather, like, they see him at, like, a gay bar, like, in, like, a leather thing. And then they report back to him. And then this one guy who, like, works construction is, uh, stumbles upon, like, Vito sucking a guy's cock. And then, and then he reports it back to everyone at the clubhouse or whatever.

And he's like, yeah, you know, I saw Vito fucking, you know, doing a blowjob with a guy. And then probably Walnut's just like, he was getting his fagoon sucked by a fucking my goot. And then he's like, no, Vito was sucking the guy. Like, oh, my wrong. It's so much. I have guys like that that they can't even hear about gay stuff.

It's fucking disgusting. You said before or after you, get your fucking dick sucked right there. Yeah, dude. That was great because it's just like they were so much more repulsed that he was sucking cock. Yeah, then like throwing a dead body away. They're chopping off a guy's arm and throwing it in a suitcase to throw into the bottom of the ocean. They're like, you know sometimes people are gay

oh you tell me the dead body has a cock on it oh what the fuck I'm not touching the lower half of a man I'm not a fucking Fuguzumama I'm not a fucking caguzzi-gibi Dude

Italians really get worked up when you make fun of them Oh yeah it's fair I had one clip online of me doing like a cartoonish Italian voice and they I said, that's a spicy, pussy. The whole bit is basically just my impression of, what if a gynecologist was Italian?

That's basically the whole crux of the bit. And then, like, there's so many things that are like, we do not sound like that. We are proud Italian-American, and we will not be like that. We don't talk like a day. We don't know. How are you this mad that I said,

a little pussy? Yeah. I let the tiny pussy. That's the whole joke. Yeah, yeah. And you're like, I love, what a moot's in. I look, it's like literally like, like, flags in the bio.

Yeah, dude, just hateful DMs. Yeah. People love putting their flags in the bio. Yeah, dude, it's, yeah, but when I put, you know, an American flag. That'd be a funny, a funny jiff of like a Confederate flag. They definitely don't have the emoji. A Confederate flag. Proud southerner.

Don't mess with Texas. Proud southerner. There's, you can do, there's certain things in emojis, though, You think there's clan wife? Like, it'll be like, Army wife. Navy wife. That is the one fringe of society that they are just no hot women.

Just like zero percent. What, the clan? The clan? Have you been snooping around? The clans of the pussy? Dude, no good snizz over there. Every fucking meeting. Clan clam, dude.

I think Daisy Dukes, at least, she was hot, right? Yeah, but they weren't. They were just... They were clank coded, dude. They were clan-adjacent. You know who was hot? Didn't Vicky Valentine?

Wasn't she in American history? Who's Vicki Valentine? She's the one from Waterboy. Oh, she is hot. Like that hot gath tube. Yeah, she's super hot. I think she played... She sucks like this kind of.

She played a white... I think maybe she had a shaved head in American history. She looks like she could be. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Well, maybe that punt. rock neo-Nazi scene Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Girl who like spits in your mouth and kicks you and falls. You know, what is it? I think, I know one porn star, Brandy Love. She's like, she's not a white supremacist because she still sucks black dick, but she's like, I don't like Black Lives Matter. There's nine cocks.

Nine black cocks around. By the way. Someone replies like, I back the blue. Yeah. You don't matter. Self-defense. Pedophile? Dude

What? I forgot what was I gonna She's the one There's pictures of her At like her daughter's campus And all There's just a hundred pictures of dudes Yeah

That sucks That's your mom, dude Oh yeah No way! I mean it'd be sick to be her, you know Her stepson But not her Yeah

That was a funny thing too Because like I When I was getting in these loopholes This will all relate One second But yeah There was this dude First up, they interviewed this pimp.

It's a guy named Lil Kelpie. Have you seen Little Kelpie? Have you seen Little Kelpie? Awesome. So he's this little, like, white kid with braces. Nice. Hell yeah. He's wearing a purple suit.

Swag. With, like, a dollar sign, like a chain. Yeah. And then there's these two, like, I guess, like, 18-year-old, like, methead chicks. They're, like, still kind of hot. Like, hasn't really gotten to them yet. Yeah. But, uh...

They're aged up to 30. Yeah. He's like, yeah, like, I'm all pimped. I mean, it sounds like, but he sounds ridiculous. But he was on the software underbelly, so I was like, oh, this guy's a legitimate pimp. And then I see the next thing is that guy Sharp. I was showing you this guy. There's like another pimp.

Yeah. It's like influencer pimp named Sharp. Yeah. And they have one interview where it's him just yelling at the kid and it's the funniest thing. The kid's like, I'm real, bro. I fuck it. I make those bitches walk the blade. And then this guy's like, shut the fuck up.

You ain't a real fucking pimp. Your mama drove you here today. He's like, he's like, my license suspended. He's like, shut the fuck up. I was driving too fast Yeah It was so funny The PIP though

The disrespect was so funny Because he's like You're mocking our culture You wear that purple suit On that interview You're making us look like fucking bitches My ancestors My ancestors died for me to wear a purple suit

Yeah And you're like What? You can't have A hundred years of slavery So I could punch a bitch in her mouth I guess you're right It's

Pleasmatic cultural appropriation While just punching women square in this fucking head It was so funny because this was like That was the first interview was them just like yelling at this guy Just like you a bitch And the second one was that This is why I was related to talk about earlier You know that Adam 22 guy?

Yeah The face sets, it's him and then one of the other pimps And he's like dude I basically felt like you're doing Blackface when you wore that purple suit And he's like, really? And he's like, okay, that's a weird analogy. And he starts, like, backing up a bit. But then he, little kelpie calls him a bitch.

He goes, nobody knows you, nobody knows you. You're a bitch. None of the pimps know you. He goes, Benjamin Franklin knows me, bitch. Which doesn't even make sense. He's trying to be like, I got money, bitch. Yeah, yeah. I got so many money.

He's a baby. I'm a little pimp baby. That's so weird, like, no one knows. Like, you're not in the pimp group chat or something. The Facebook page Don't know shit about you motherfucker You've never been

On the Pimp Cruise That we do a year league Pimp luncheons Yeah, you never showed up to the softball league We do kickball every Thursday Yeah, it's us versus the drug dealers

For under pitch Underhand softball You aren't even invited But then he punches These 19 year old The face you starts beating this shit out of the phone. Damn.

What? Yeah. Of course, dude. Yeah. But the Adam 22 guy, that's one guy I wonder about it because he just like has these, like, I looked through his Instagram, it's like him and his wife. It's called Plug Talk, I guess. Yeah, yeah.

Where they just fuck porn stars on the podcast. Yeah. But then there's like pictures of him with like his baby and I'm like, it's weird because you wonder what, not on his Instagram, not in a pedophile way. But you wonder if it's like, it's like, has society made it weird for your dad to be a professional porn star? Or, like, I know that was always a weird thing, but I'm saying, like, take out society norms. Is there any reality where you could live with that?

Like, your dad being a porn star? With, with, like, adjustment where it's like, oh, actually, he's not. If it was normal, I guess, I mean. Yeah, but I'm like, what? It's like, yeah, because it's like, you wonder if you're like, is this guy, is this guy wrong for fucking on camera and having, like, it's like, what's, I know it's not morally wrong, but I'm saying, like, where do you draw the line? Like, should he stop doing porn because he's a father? because it's weird or because it's morally wrong. Is it morally wrong?

Yeah, I guess it is a bit of like a cultural norm thing. I mean, not that like this is like one to one the same. However, I did see this guy. It was like this like brief little documentary I saw about this guy who's like he's like a pop star like in like I believe Africa like a small town in Africa. He's like the best singer. Oh, hell yeah. And he's like he does these big shows and they all love. him. I forgot what his name was.

But he has 40 wives. Nice. Oh. I rule. And I can't imagine the son is like, oh, my dad's the 40 wife pop star. Like, oh, this is like so weird. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But Adam 22

is just fucking a million different women. It's not like how how... No, that is similar. How different is it? Like, my dad gets a ton of pussy. My mom was just one of a hundred bagillion women he stuck his dick in. Now I exist. But if you're that kid at school,

it's like you're done for it in America. But it's like, should he give up his love for porn? You know what it's like, do you give things up? It's too late. You know what I mean? Like, you start on the internet. There's no healthy way to just be this way. A well-adjusted person.

That's what I mean. A well-adjusted man who had like two parents in an upper middle class home and like, you know, in Wichita, Kansas is not going yeah, I started a porn podcast with my wife and we fuck out a million different women like you're not like oh yeah

I was fine as a kid yeah but but I agree with that it's like normally weird stuff leads to that but I'm just like morally I'm like I don't know because it's like his brain could go either way his brain could go I have to tattoo my face and fuck hookers because I can't stop thinking about my uncle

and how yeah and what he did to me or or he's very logical he's like you know what no fuck the way society goes I like these tattoos on my face And I like fucking women. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You know, it's like, I don't know which way the mind goes.

You don't have to apologize. It's, it's probably column A, column B, dude. It's like, yeah, dude, my mom used to punch me in my face when I would look at, you know, girls at school or something psychotic, you know. Yeah, yeah. And he's like, now I just can't live without a hundred million different pocies. Yeah. And face tattoos are all like, kill myself. This is my whole identity.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. But it's like, I feel like it's only like you get bullied if it's like your mom's the porn star. If your dad is like, oh, your dad crushers plus your dad's cool. That's a good point. But it's like, oh, you're, you sucked on titties that got jizzed on on camera. Oh, yeah. Yeah, that's little. That's true.

It is gendered. It's a little gender. So I'm like, but it's like, obviously I don't think it's morally wrong to do porn. Like across it. I hate people that are like, you're a fault. It's like, I don't think that. But it's like, I wonder if it's like the societal things that make this like a weird or if it's like. I think it is.

I mean, like, if you look at like social mores of, of fucking porn star stuff, like, Inherently, there's nothing really wrong with, like, two consenting adults filming themselves fucking and then me jacking off to it. Yeah, yeah. If there was, I think personally, I maybe shouldn't watch it. Yeah. As often as I'm trying my brain. It is like, I know porn's not bad for you, but at the rate I watch it. The stimulation.

I see it is just as bad as like scrolling TikTok for an hour. Yes, absolutely. It's like fries out some kind of dopamine receptor. Yeah. Like you're hooked up to the pleasure tube. And you're like, you know, it's something like. But you can't, it's so hard to jerk off without, like it's, I try it. Sometimes I can do it, but I'm like, it's got to be like a morning good, sorry. A morning wood jerk to like, because I'm already hard and I'm halfway. Yeah. Yeah. I'll do no porn for a long time, no jacking off for a long time. And then it's easy. If you go a week or two without touching your pee and then you get truly like, like lizard brain horny. Then you can just, ah, like you just fucking do, you know. Yeah, yeah. You just squirt one out in two seconds.

But it's the point where it's like you wearing shirts, like, don't talk to me until I've had my cum. It's like, I'm not before I drink coffee. Like, yo, that's, yeah, you're a little wild. I mean, yeah, dude. Yeah. Yeah, that's a weird life. I don't know.

I think, yeah, because you never think about the guy whose dad is a porn. That's a to. Yeah, you never think about that guy. Yeah, but you got to worry that girls your age are like. I mean, I don't think that kid, that guy's raising his son. Like 90% of the time. Yeah. Like, why I go play catch when I go go play fuck?

You know what I mean? They're like, yeah, he's in the Silicon Valley. He flew through here once and fucked my mom. He's like, my, your dad is he's out in California. You know, kind of bullshit. Yeah. And then there's got to be that scene where the, like, in the Joker movie where he's like, you're my father.

Who the fuck are you? Yeah. He's dying of AIDS. You know, I got these scars. Who are you? Get in line, kid. Jesus. Dude, I saw, I saw, I saw like.

craziest thing that day. I saw it looked like it's written bloods. It said AIDS is not over. Yeah. It's either blood or like red paint, but it was a terrifying thing. But I think it's over though. Isn't it over? It's like COVID being over.

It's like the AIDS demon. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You can live to be 100 and have AIDS now. Like it's fucking whatever. Yeah, I downplay AIDS once a week on this podcast. I'm like, take some prep. Apparently, you know, prep is really out there. There's multiple drugs that really, that you test negative.

Yeah. Suppressed the virus so much. test negative. Yeah. Yeah. It's, I don't know. It doesn't think it's a concern.

There's a couple, like, it's like semi-cured where, like, if you have AIDS and cancer and you have, like, super hardcore chemo, the chemo will, like, kill the AIDS. Yeah, but God wants you to die. Yeah.

Dude, AIDS and cancer is insane. Yeah. I wonder, like, the immunosuppressant nature or whatever of it. Like, if, like, if you have, I'm not a doctor. Yeah.

But I'm guessing. If you have HIV, you're on press. and then you get sick, you get sick worse than someone who doesn't have HIV? That's what I want to know. Probably.

Oh, yeah, because you immune system like, maybe you can't miss a spot. Yeah, I don't know how it works. It's really busy. It's like buff as shit. Or it's not hired from fighting AIDS.

I think it's tired of fighting AIDS. I can't take on another disease. Are you serious? I'm literally fighting AIDS all day. And you go and you get pneumonia? You're cheating on me? with pneumonia. Jealous AIDS.

Thyro? You're fucking serious? You go have fun with your pneumonia. I'm going to go and have a CSO. All right. You come back. Well, guess what?

There's HIV in your cum now. That's fun, not coming. Inside anyone anymore. Is there pneumonia in your cum? I didn't think so. I'm better than her. I'm better than she is. In the lungs, bitch.

I had the wildest conversation with a gay guy. There was this like gay black guy in a leather jacket who's a comic. He was talking about, first off he's like Oh my god, here's a picture me with like cum on my shirt And I'm like, oh, cool, but I was like, this is a little cum. I don't know, I'm open-minded. I'm like, you know what? Yeah, sure. Let me see. I mean, there's come on your shirt, whatever.

And then somebody's like, oh, tell him what you think of big dick or average dick is. He's like, I don't fuck dicks that are small than 10 and a half inches. And that's not true. I'm like, what are you talking about? He goes, boy, if your dick is small than 10. inches, your dick is tiny. And I'm like, what do you... If I start fucking 800-pound women,

that doesn't mean that women below 800 pounds are now small. That's true. Yeah, I'm like, what are you talking? No, it doesn't make sense. Because you fuck a hundred dicks that are... He's like... There's no way.

And I'm like, I guarantee you... I know the percentages on cock sizes. I know the distribution... Yeah, it's... I know the statistics on cock sizes. There's one... There's five guys in New York with cocks bigger than 10 inches.

That's insane. The biggest cock in the world. It's like 13, right? It's like 13. Yeah. So there's no way the second. Okay, first of all, he's probably believing men. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

When they're like, my dick, big and me, me. It's like, no, it's not. It's seven inches. For sure. It's eight and a half. Yeah. But also, I don't know. Like, I haven't had, like, a hundred dicks in my ass.

I think that's a better measurement than me. Just like, yeah. It's like, maybe he knows exactly. There's no way he knows. Really? His size is still still too small. I think he was like, nagging. Because I was like, I was like, I guarantee

you I could fuck you right now. You show me a picture of come on your shirt. Yeah, he's blushing instantly. Yeah, yeah. I'm like, I know. You would suck my suit right now. You'd suck my sinch-cock right now. And he's like, oh, my, oh, my Lanta, you know.

Then prove it. You won't. You ain't ever had a dick this average. And he was trying to like, he was trying to like, bully. He's like, y'all much a small dick motherfucker. I'm like, no, we're not. And also, I don't care. And take it out.

M. The and M. Theta on it. It's like, yeah, I know what you're doing. I know what you're doing. For psychology. That would work on, like, the straight dude who's like, I've always wanted to fuck a guy. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. A guy who's like, dude, my thing's not fucking small. Yeah, really?

Well, put it in my ass. I'm putting it in my ass then. All right, fine. You have to make it a dare. With straight guys, you have to make it like a bet. Yeah. Like, you have to make a competitive gay sex. It is funny those people that just will not back down from anything.

Like, yeah, there are, I know, showing people like that, they're like, dude, if somebody calls you a pussy, you have to fight them. In the fuck. I got a workout trainer like that. I was, I had a trainer in high school. He goes, the worst advice I've ever gotten my whole life. It goes, never back down from a fight. Never, he goes, I don't care if he has a knife. Never back down. I'm like, what are you talking about? This is most insanely like unadult-like argument I've ever heard. You have a gun to your head. You don't have your phone or wallet on you. Yeah. He died. He died of me. Go to the Middle East

Punch ISIS in the face Yeah, that's a good idea It would be funny if I tried to fight him Like, because I'm like, are you just gonna fight a 16 year old? Can you fight kids now that talk shit about it? Yeah, at what point? I had that happened to me one time. I fought a kid.

Nice. Almost, dude. Some kids spat in a movie theater. It can be right in the face. Dude, I would kill that. Dude, I run up to these kids and I was just like, you don't do that. I couldn't think.

I was like, what if I get to fucking yell at them and call them fucking... I couldn't figure out what to do I was like... Spit on them back! I'd be so like spaz angry, dude, I'd be like... Yeah, I wouldn't have any articulate. And then I'm like holding hands to my girlfriend. I'm like, she probably thinks I'm a fucking pussy.

Yeah, dude. But I was like, what am I supposed to just beat this shit out of a bunch of like... Yeah, yeah. Because New York kids, there's like 12... They could kick my ass. Oh, yeah, they're crazy. Yeah, then I'm gonna get jumped by like New York in nature. Right. It's like a 6-3 fucking Dominican kid

with a mustache. Yeah. He's like, I'm 12, bro. And you're like, oh. I used to fight my siblings over the last mango. You can't. He's got a Yankee fitted on him. Yeah, yeah, I'm terrified.

He's horrifying kids. And the other side of it, too, like, I'll see skater kids with, like, like, I'm like, you have piercings in your face? I don't know. You look like you've been abused. Yeah, they probably have. Yeah, I got a knife. I got two knives. My dad gave it to me that time he visited.

Isn't it like the movie kids about like skaters in New York or whatever? They're like, you have AIDS or some shit. Yeah, I mean, I know there's like some point where a girl like gets AIDS or something. Which doesn't happen apparently. No, girls get AIDS. Dudes don't get AIDS from girls. You have to have a huge cock to give a girl AIDS. Most AIDS.

Maybe it's mostly gay dudes. But yeah. It's like I think less than 20% of AIDS patients are women. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah. But is that just because is that just kind of like a hot potato where it's so much in the gay community? Yeah. If it's a guy

fucking you in the ass, he's probably not going around. And you're bleeding. Probably not, yeah. It's probably not a... So, this is interesting, because I thought this whole time that it was harder for women to get AIDS.

I've said it a thousand. I'm like, go out, don't wear condoms, women, too, whatever. But I guess it's just, there's just so much AIDS in the gay community. It's unlikely... If a woman you have sex with has HIV, it's very unlikely for you

to get it from her. A man who does not have AIDS to be. Like Forrest Gump doesn't get it. Yeah, yeah. But that guy must be packing. Forrest Gump, big, dumb dude. Oh, those guys got massive dongs, tearing up. He's ripped her open and got that AIDS, dude.

Yeah, dude. He cracked her open. He sucked the AIDS out. He just kept running and running trains on her, dude. I, last teeth. I started taking Prey up. Dude, that's a confused body. Just like a retarded guy getting AIDS.

your brain is like, what the fuck am I supposed to do? It's had to have happened. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Why do I keep sneezing? But there's a... Yeah, no, if a woman has AIDS and you have sex with her.

I was like, I like how you put your finger up like this. If, and only... Exhibit. Yeah. If a woman has HIV, it's very hard for a man to get it from her. But I believe... But she's getting real to have a bunch of dudes to the age. She can easily get AIDS.

Then I think it goes the other way because it's in your seminal fluid. so if you ejaculate inside of a woman then I believe you can give her HIV that way but it's easier with man to man because one there was less contraception use because you know gay eyes like the party they're not going to get pregnant

just logistically why would you and that's gay yeah a little poop in the foreskin it's super gay what are you worried about touching a guy You're not comfortable with your sexuality. You have to fucking go out without a condom. Yeah, that's super gay.

But yeah, it's the friction of an asshole. No, not naturally lubricated. Tider. I know I'm really selling you guys. Like, this is, boom. You can't get a pregnant. Gay sex sounds interesting. Guys asses.

Yeah, so you, the friction, there's little micro tears in your penis and in their asshole and then blood. mixes in that way. So the virus mingles in that one. So in order to get age from a woman, she had to squirt into your dickhole. It's like, it's like shooting down the death star.

It's like, there's a six. There's one point. That's so funny. The Millennium Falcon can fit. That's so awesome. Instead of a tie fighter, She's like a biker meth chick and a fucking

Yeah, the Thai lady boy Fighter Dude, that's so funny Yeah, dude So yeah, that's how AIDS works Yeah I learned a lot to do Yeah

Yeah, yeah That's how HIV works We should bring on a gay doctor Maybe any different than the street Yeah, I study the gays Yeah It's not enough to just spit in his asshole I have herpes and I went to a

It's an internal internal medicine or internal disease specialist, something like that internal medicine specialist, something like that. But they study people with like viruses that stay in your body. Yeah, yeah. Like hepatitis, HIV, and herpes.

And I go there and the guy was like, oh, you're a herpes guy? I was like, I would thought you were more of an AIDS hepatitis. I swear to God. He's looking at me like I'm a bitch. He's like, you went to the doctor for herpes? I was like, yeah, I'm scared.

What in the third grade? He goes, dude, I just saw a guy with AIDS. He goes, you should get out of here. Save yourself. Dude, that's what he is. Oh, your coxswitch, you didn't scratch it. Yeah, for real. And then he was like, I go, what should I do?

And he goes, wear a condom. I was like, okay. And I was like, I wanted to start taking, like, medicine for it to suppress it. And he was like, why? That's not a nice doctor He's like, why? And I was like, well, I have a girlfriend And I don't want to give it to her.

He goes, yeah, I guess. He goes, just wear a condom. I've never taken herpes that seriously. Besides, I was in middle school, I made out with the girl at Halloween Horn Nights. She had a cold sore. So, no, but she texted me and said, I have herpes.

And I went off. First of all I started looking up like herpes dating sites. I'm like, your whole life has changed. Yeah, because I was like, I'm a guy with herpes now. Yeah. I was in eighth grade. your mind, you don't realize that, like, who the fuck cares? Because I know, you're fine.

You know, mouth or is not a big... Yeah. Yeah, it's not a big deal. Michael has that. But it's disgusting. Yeah, you want to not use that microphone. Can you, uh... Yeah. We have all the herpes bases covered on this. But, uh, dude, I remember I was like, I was like trying to figure out a new life. I was like, all right, I guess I can still enjoy roller. Like, I just thought, like, I thought I like couldn't have sex with anybody. Yeah, you're like, I've always wanted to be a chef. I got a sad little herpes story. I fucking...

Wait, you let me finish real. Yeah, go for you. And then I go off on her. I'm like, I'm calling the fucking police. I'm going to sue you. What? Because you were like 12. Yeah. I was like, you could sue people for giving her.

Yeah, you got litigious. Yeah. But, and then she's like, no, I'm just kidding. Oh. Where she got your ass so good. Dude, I was like, I'm going to fucking. I'm going to sue you. Such a pussy, dude.

What happened to you, boy? Oh, yeah, yeah. I was like, uh. So I'm with this Prostitute, right? And she's like $100 you can eat my ass while Suck your dick and my ass on my ass

That sounds good And her asshole for $100? Yeah, you eat her assail. Yeah, but then I don't You paid a woman to eat her ass Her asshole She had a great ass I get it

I agree with it but it's terrifying So like Yeah I totally get because I'm a big ass eater I get where you're coming from But you get asses or Yeah But it's

like that's a, that's a terrifying, that's probably the last thing you should lick on a prostitute. Yeah. That's funny that there is one. Yeah. There's what? There's the last thing. You shouldn't lick them at all. But so, yeah, I don't know if I'd lick a prostitute. But then I was like, man,

but I want to eat your pussy. But I was drunk and I forgot I had a cold sore and she's like, that's going to be a $200 more if you want to eat my pussy with that. I was like, oh, man. Got cock black by my own herpes. Damn, dude. That is funny.

It's also funny that like, you could basically just do whatever. I'm like, what about to fuck you with AIDS? Like, we're going to get your... Yeah, what's the number? 10,000 dollars. Do you have sex with her? No, I just ate her booty all a little bit. Then I went home.

Really? You're in... I'm sorry, but I'm judging you so hard. My ATM would not give me more money. It was 3 o'clock in the morning in Spain. Yeah, okay, but... I mean, at least get you... Pee-pies sucked.

You just ate her assholes? I just ate her assholes? I just ate her. Because it was like... Okay, you pay a $100 dollars. You make her asshole and you... leave. He's like, and then I went home.

Yeah, I went back to the hotel, yeah. Because at the same time, like, because there was another prostitute there, she was weird. She was like, she jacked me off very violently and like, first like wiped my wee-wee down with a dry napkin. I was like, what the fuck? And then she was like, drug me off hard with like with a condom on. And I did get hard, but I was

like, I'm hard, but no, I'm no longer. Why she's turning off with a condom on? I don't know. I guess if I have mouth of reason, I probably have it down there too. That's her guess maybe. Well, you can't get out on your hand. Yeah. She's just wash her. No, you can get on your skin.

Yeah, but that's so unlikely. If she sucked her fingers afterwards, I don't know. Even that wouldn't happen. Yeah, yeah. Would you rather wear a condom and get jerked off or have them wear a glove and jerk you off? Gloves. I don't say glove. Really?

Just put some lube on the glove and fucking go to town. Yeah. But it was like just so unappetizing. I was like, I'm hard, but I'm not horny anymore. They're like, yeah, you can, I'm not going to touch your plain penis, but you can eat that girl's asshole. Yeah. It makes no sense.

They're not doctors. They don't know. Dude, yeah, they're fucking idiots. I think they're Ukrainian refugees too. I was doing something good for the war. I was a good guy. We send this money back. Don't ask how I got these.

Yolanda, you must have a little boy eat your ass again. We are running out of rations. We're out of parogies. Please, Yolanda, have your bottle leaked by sex tourist. you fucking idiot I was very drunk I was extremely That is fair

And she approached I went home afterwards I don't know why I picture you Going back to the hotel Getting like a hot pocket in the lobby But she's doing like very normal guy stuff Just like enjoying your stay right yeah And then I went to bed next to my aunt

Her my 80 year old Just like Michael where are you Don't worry about it Why did she breast smell like shit? She kisses you on the lip Just a disappointment. I'm on the cheeks. I don't know why you're...

Yeah. She's like... Italian. It's 3 o'clock in the morning. You left the wedding early. Where were you at? What is your aunt sound like? She's Dominican.

Yeah, she's Dominican. Yeah, she's Dominican. Yeah. Michael, where you go? Will you... Michael, are you eating a... A sex trafficked woman ass again? Just a wig.

No. No, abuelita. No, I promise. Or on... Puetya? Tia? Nia. Tia.

Tia, I remember that. Tio and Tia. Yeah. Yeah, I remember that. Titi? No, Tinti. I know you look ass. I don't know you like ass.

She has colon cancer. I'm not going to do that. Maybe you would cure it. Yeah. I don't know. My ass, it is so sore. Please, Michael, leak. Please leak the tumor in my butt hole.

It's each a kid. reach my fingers. I love, please. You're such a good nephew. Tia, this is just poop. There's not a tumor in your ass.

Oh, I also have dementia. I'm sorry. That's crazy. You want to end it there? Shit. It's an asshole. They haven't turned it off by now. There's just one guy still watching.

I like this, I like this Dominican guy. He's a freak. There's some guys eating his aunt's asshole feeling good about himself now. You know what? I'm not a perver. I don't care what they say about me. Yeah, dude. Jesus is watching, like, he's getting into heaven for sure.

This is a guy... We're wearing matching shirts. How are you guys are? Maroon. Animal ginger, yeah. We're twins. What would you guys... It's always funny when I try to tie it together.

I'm like, all right, enough about... eating your aunt's ass. Now, what would you get like? What would you want to promote? Yeah. Rough week podcast, baby. It's a good podcast. I watch it.

Yeah. You can follow me at Mike. Almonds are comedy. M-A-L-M-A-N-Z-A-R-C-O-M-E-D-Y. That's Instagram. In case you can't spell. Fucking idiot. Don't, don't neg them.

No, there's one guy who's like, no, I can fucking spell it. Yeah. I was doing that, not to plug my podcast again, the Rough Week podcast. Good podcast. We've been calling our fans weaklings. That is funny.

And me and my host, my call host, Luke Tuma. Luke Tuma, we were saying like, yeah, yeah, you're weaklings now. That's what we call you, you little bitch. We're like doing that. And I'm like, I paused it for a minute. I was like, there's a guy jacking off right now. You weakling. A rough week.

A nobody. I got one of those recently from a guy who like, I was talking to somebody else's podcast. I asked about my mom got my dick picks to the I cloud It's all over the average Nice, nice And in this guy My mom also got my dick picks

Oh really? I can't tell you're serious Yeah, he sent the new your mom Yeah Yeah Yeah Yeah But any

Would that make you actually really mad What the fuck? It's on the Google Drive But the guy started commenting He's like yeah It's crazy like I bet you got a big one Just like stuff like that

Yeah Same thing happened to me I said my mom My dick picks which I was embarrassed about. My dad got him too, a little more embarrassed about it. And I'm just like, I think this dude's trying to, it was just the... He's trying to be like, you want to like, compare?

Yeah, or maybe... Which dick pics did your mom get? Yeah, either way, by the way, if you're listening to the podcast, you can send me... Yeah, send Michael pictures of your penis. I don't care. Do whatever kind of harassment you want. It wasn't an harassment. You're just trying to... That's called engagement.

Exactly. Like, genuinely, I appreciate anybody listening a lot. Get on the Discord, send in your dick pics. Comment what you do to my asshole. Link below to comment on my sweet ass Like, rate, subscribe And comment what you do to my tiny little ass On chat TVT you can get

AI generated pictures of my asshole This has a ring on it Ooh How much did we do? Yeah, let me just wrap up We're at an hour So if you're watching this If you watch this on YouTube, YouTube ones come out.

They're supposed to come out Sunday, but they'll probably come out Monday. Free feet picks. But, yeah, they should come out Sunday at latest Monday. On other platforms, it's always Sunday. Yeah, Michael Good Comedy, if you're listening on Spotify, and you want to check it out on YouTube, just start uploading. Not all the episodes are on YouTube, though. For watching YouTube, we want to see older ones.

Go on Spotify or Apple. Thank you. Thank you. Bye. Interracial.