Morning Good - You Can Hear This Street Getting Worse - Episode 102

Episode Date: July 31, 2022

Thanks to John for joining the show and to Jake for coming back on. Make sure to check both of them out and give them a follow for upcoming shows and more.Jake Timothy is gonna be on the road in Los Angeles, Vermont, and Rhode Island in the next few weeks. So check him out on IG @jake_timothy. John is on Instagram @johnhenrykennedy, Twitter @frazzlemygimp, and TikTok @johnistoasted.As always, find Michael Good on Instagram @michael_good1125 and on Twitter @agoodmichaelThis podcast was produced by Paxton Fleming, you can find him on Instagram @yaboypax 

Thanks for the F-Shack. Love Dirty Mike and the Boys. Hey, are you dirty Mike and the boys? How you know who we are? What's this? They called the podcast? Morning good, good. I love that.

Yeah, it's me with the boner on the front. Welcome to morning. All right, and we're here with Jake Timothy. This time, not on drugs, like a degenerate. He did drugs last time on the podcast. Which one? I did the same drug. I just have mushrooms.

Oh, there you say, I did this today? But I took. Today you did? Today I did, yeah. Okay, before this? Yeah. Do you, what, do you purposely do it before it? I hadn't done it a while.

And then when I did it the other day, I was like, I want to, like, do the microdose schedule. Oh, okay. Yeah. So you take, like, a little bit more and more. Yeah, if you, like, measure it correctly, it's like, it's pretty much, it'll just be, like, coffee. Like, the feeling you get when you drink a coffee and smoke a cigarette is, like, the feeling of a microdose. It's just like you're a little more like quick with your thoughts and stuff. But I over did it last time I was here.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, you overdosed. Yeah, yeah. You overdosed on mushrooms on the podcast. You have to take like an insane amount. By the way, we're also here with John Kennedy. Oh, camera. That is set up on the table.

Just way over there. Yeah, just so far. Someone's going to go to the fridge and it's going to. My Michael had trouble setting you guys up. So you're very lucky. It was a fucking disaster. I'm like sweating. I've been angry all day.

Like, I, I woke up, like, you know, like, wanted, like, that movie. Yeah. I just, I felt like him in that first scene in the movie where he's like, my life sucks. My girlfriend's not getting fucked by my roommate because I'm, well, I mean, I am my own roommate. I guess, I don't know. But, yeah, I just, I just, just woke up hating life this. Where do I start the episode? But I'm like, I woke up just like, well, you know, this podcast is going to be like the tub he gets out of whenever he's injured.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, like that's going to fix it all. The candle wax stuff. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, whatever that, what is that even, how? Who, who, like, figured that out and sold it to these guys? I have no idea, yeah, yeah, yeah. Just some guy was like, oh, by the way, this heals everything. They're like, well, we're going to give it to assassins.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Who are, like, the bad guys, but they thought they were, right? You know, apparently the comic book's, like, way different. Like, apparently in the comic book, there were all these superheroes. Like, it was a full superhero thing. And then the wanted people took out all the superheroes. And that's the new world as assassins are, like, in charge of everything. like they're what's going on because the superheroes are all dead because they were all killed by assassins.

Which is none of that was brought up in the movie. Well, I mean, we didn't even know it was based up a comic book. Yeah, everything is. Yeah. Oh.

Literally everything. This conversation right now. I mean, I always see like the Walking Dead novels. Like those always look cool. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But then I started reading one at Barnes & Home and I was like, oh, this isn't the same story. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

As the Walking Dead. Yeah. I was big into comic books. And then I didn't get out. of them because I grew up. I got out of them because I got worse at reading. I think I did a bunch of whippets and I don't think I know how to read anymore and I think that that's, yeah, why I don't. That's like a good reason to get out of reading. I did a bunch of wippets. Not really. That's like the best way to get out of reading. This is how fucking lazy am. I was like,

why don't they have comic book book on tapes? Like it's like the most basic reading. And I'm like, you know what? And they describe the pictures. Yeah, yeah, yeah. This is, I will watch the, uh, they have like comic book movies for the comic, like just animated versions of the graphic novels on TV. Oh, really? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Like Ken Byrne style, where you just see the image and it's like moving a little bit? No, no, no, like they'll just fully animate a comic book. Like, it's kind of shittier art because it almost like, I feel like every cartoon animated

show now is basically just like an anime. But they'll make Batman look like an anime character or something like that, like in that weird kind of way. I like when, not like he has like tentacles and like a huge cock, but like that's not anti, but like the... I like when the graphics are just like really dogshy. Like, what is that home movies? Is that, uh...

Do you know what I'm talking about? I think it's called home movies, that old show, the cartoon. Oh, I think you're talking about just generally home movies. You're like, I like watching this video is my family that's blurry as shit. Just like when the animation is like really easy,

I feel like that. Those are the funniest ones because they don't really care about the animation, you know? Yeah, yeah, you know, like South Park and stuff. Yeah, yeah, yeah, South Park, that's a good example. You should have fucking used South Park. You should have come on here. You already, it's four minutes in.

God, dude. But you and your drug problem, okay, so tell me what I'm just like. So how is your life falling apart? You fuck, you said, you started this episode off saying the most pessimistic thing I've like ever heard someone say. Who is it just like? You're like, I guess my roommate's not fucking my girlfriend. Well, I guess I'm kind of my own roommate.

No, I didn't mean it like that. Like I was just comparing the character to. Yeah, I guess. Because in the movie, his, yeah, roommates fucking. As you guys are describing it. Oh, wait, no, no. I've never seen this movie. No, no, no. It's like his, yeah, yeah, like his best friend or whatever.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. But not really his best friend because he's fucking his friend. It's like Chris Pratite. Because he's like, you're the man. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. So I've never seen that movie. I thought I had. Oh, dude, it's great.

But I have that. I bet taste a movie, so I really like it. I, yeah, yeah. I watch it on as little, so I really like it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You know, I haven't seen it since then, so I probably will be like, oh, that sucked. That sucked, but. It's just a fun action movie.

Yeah, you know what I mean? One of those shows. like it's just fun to watch. It's like, it's like Harry Potter, but in an action movie. So it's like his life sucks. Yeah,

that's a good way to describe it. Yeah, the scrolls and like, whoever the master is is like saying who you need to kill. Yeah, but Dumbledore is black and he's,

Morgan Freeman. Yeah, which we now know the scrolls are run by the government. Yeah, yeah, yeah, exactly, yeah, yeah. So it's like,

but it's like, it's like he gets taken out of his little fantasy in his, like, lame world, you know what I mean? He's like, a little orphan boy,

and he's like, I never knew my father. And then it's like, your father was like a great assassin. Yeah. And then, yeah. But his dad, yeah, yeah, you, I'm not going to ruin the whole movie, but it's cool. But if you haven't seen it now, like, yeah, yeah, yeah, it's also funny. Yeah.

I don't want to spoil this on the podcast. But yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, he's like, he gets recruited by Angelina Jolie to kill people. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm on board. Yeah, no, it's just a fun movie. And then they get him to dig, I'm just going to say them. Yeah, yeah, yeah, he has to kill his, who they're like, you got to kill him. kill the best of his ass and it turns out to be his dad.

Yeah, we don't go any further, but yeah, yeah, yeah. Well, they shoot bullets and the bullets hit each other because they're both like... Yeah, yeah, they can curve a bullet. Because their grandpa was like a really good minor league baseball plan. That's why I like, a lot of people be like, oh, you can't curve a bullet. But you're like, that's sick. You see that, it's a movie. It's supposed to be cool like that.

That's the worst of people that see action movies. And they're like, yeah, you know, this fucking bad man couldn't do that really. And you're like, fuck you. Is there anyone actually watching the movie going, yes. Yeah. This is really. He's got like a protractor. He's like,

like, bending a bullet is like obviously fake. Yeah, yeah. Zero chance you could do that. You know what I like about this movie? How they're doing it by the book. Yeah, yeah. You can watch any romantic comedy.

Why would just watch that if that's what you're into? Yeah. Imagine there's a guy who's like really into that and he's now like, we works for the military. And he's like, what you want to do is hit him right in the bullet. Oh, yeah. Yeah.

He just shoot their bullets. How are they going to hit you? Everybody is a guy in a shooting range because the way they do is they wind back and throw it like it's a frisbee and just just nail some other guy in the face while shooting he's like I saw it and wanted. I like the first test run he's like all right stand here and shoot the bullets and he's just like shooting forward and all of them are hitting him. Yeah. Yeah, he just like shoot the wings off of a what's it called like a mosquito or something like that. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, I love that part. I remember that part because that one scene sticks

with the movie and he goes, I can shoot the wings off the back of a fly. Yeah, yeah, yeah. For some reason, that always plays in my head when I'm like showering or something or just like everyday life I'm like I accept that in that movie. Yeah there's like this weird rat guy who has like a rat he's like I'm obsessed with rats he's like what is he Russian or something? Yeah whatever race is

obsessed with rats. Yeah. Russian sounds about right. Yeah it's something like that but yeah that's scene where he just fucking curves the bullet and like he finds out his panic attacks which is that's it makes it so Harry Potterish too. It's like his disability is like a cool thing. It's like his panic attacks are actually like how when he gets all foric. That's how he can actually like slow time

down and like do all the bullshit. Oh man. I bet the guy who wrote this movie is like the lame He's the biggest pussy. He's like, and his panic attacks are actually good. And his small penis is actually really good at sex. He's like too nervous to get out of train. Yeah. And he's really good at his office job. But no one appreciates it.

And then Angelina Jolie just wants to fuck him. She wants to fuck him so hard. Yeah. And his boss is a big bitch. But then he yells at her. That part is so funny because, like, he just calls his boss like a dumb, fat bitch. And that was like, that was like 2010.

And everybody's like, yeah. And everyone's like, she is. Yeah, yeah. You're right. Yeah. This rules. Yeah. And he fucking hits Chris Pratt with the piano or the laptop.

Not laptop. It is Chris Pratt, isn't it? Yeah, yeah. I don't think I put the dots together on that until just now. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, no, it was, it was amazing. Yeah. He just calls his boss a fat bitch.

I always thought it was the guy from, not gravity. What movies that were those three guys get those flying powers and then the one guy goes insane? Chronicle. Chronicle. Yeah, you never seen that. You never seen Chronicle? That movie's so goofy.

Yeah, but it was like different. I have the apex predator. Yeah. They like go down and they all get these superpowers from this thing and then they go back the next day and they're like, the government is like covered it up and shit. And then they're like discovering that they have like, they can fly and shit.

Oh, shit. But it's shot really cool because it's like, it's shot from like, like their camera or whatever. Like their film. It's like it's supposed to be a documentary. Oh, okay. But it's not at all.

That would be funny if there was one guy that just got like lymphoma from it. Like you guys can fly, right? And he's, no. My life is way worse. No, I'm shitting blood every day. There was a lot of those hidden.

Like that was like, because I feel like panoractivity happened. I don't know how I said that. Pan-a-10. That happened, and then there was, like, Project X, and then there was, like, that one time travel movie that Michael Bay did, but it's, like, from the point of view of the shaky... It's such a smart business plan, be like, shaky camera,

because you're like, yeah, we just have to pay nothing for cameras, basically. You know what I mean? Because you just have, like, a shitty camera film. Yeah, yeah. I know what you're saying, too, where it's like, we don't need the whole budget for... To get this angle, right? It's like, let's just make it shitty.

Have you ever been in? And that's part of the art, but really, they're just cheap. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Have you ever been, like, tricked? Like, you clicked on something that you thought was a documentary, and it was within a few minutes, you're like, oh, this is not. No, what? By it, like a found footage movie.

I'm not outing myself as a fucking idiot. You're like, this is fucked up, dude. We got to do so. Are we going to find those people? Yeah, I watched this with the fucking, I don't know, like five years ago. I watched this movie about, like, have you ever heard of the, there's like technically a zone within Yellowstone National Park where you can legally get away

with murdering someone because of the way it's like around... That's hilarious. It's near all these separate state lines and counties where the laws, if you did it in a specific way, you could get away with killing someone. Oh, I thought you're saying they're just like, this is the zone where you can stab people. It's just the purges. It's like a legal

thing. Like only lawyers would be like, oh, it's like an interesting thing. And so I watched a documentary. I want to understand it's a little more. Is it real? It's real like in, if you read like the legal mumbo-jumbo behind it, There is a way you can technically kill someone in this area and get away with it. Is it that what it is? It's not like there's no law against killing.

It's not like that. They just forgot to write the law against killing people. It's a square mile. We wrote laws against killing people there. Yeah. Yeah, you're good right there. You got to write it for every square foot. You're standing at the foot of that tree. That's the killing tree. Somewhere there's a book this tall of where you can kill people. Oh, yeah. Or where you can't kill people. But what was the documentary? Well, I thought it was documentary, but it was like a horror movie about a dude who just, he just tricks people into going there and he kills him.

And I watched it for like 20 minutes being like, because they're just explaining the laws for the first part. Yes, you're like, yeah. This is crazy. Are you like following a guy who's also following this? And he's like, really? Like how it starts. And he's like, oh, yeah, I can kill people there. They're probably also like, they see the same guy every week, just like a guy.

They're like, hey, how's it going? Just like, luring a woman in there. Hey, is it still a law there yet? You're good. You're clear. Sweet. Not over here. Not over here.

Barry her there. Whoever's cars running in the parking lot. Someone's screaming in the trunk. I'll move it. No, it's legally parked. There's someone screaming. I'll get it out of it. Yeah, there's always,

apparently it's like easier to get over there. That'd be crazy. Remember that girl that got murdered in Yellowstone? Who? I mean, I'm sure. Gabby Petito. How could I forget? I brought her up the last five episodes.

What if they were. they were chasing that guy for like a month and they catch him and he was like it was in the triangle and they're like that now we can't do anything about it shit she doesn't matter that yeah yeah that was one of the funniest things because it's like it's amazing how once you kill you there's like no i don't know that was a huge like thing that people were about and then he died and they're like i guess you know what i mean it's just funny to get that one that one murder everybody was like he's a fucking piece of shit and there's so many like serial killers out not so many but like you know it's it's it's

I mean, it's, I think the reason that one, like, caught on was because they had, like, a very popular internet thing about their, like, travels. They were, like, lived in a van. Yeah. They would, like, blog about it. And it was, like, super popular. So when she disappeared, like, it started, like, unravel. And people were, like, people that had met them on the road were like, yeah, they were just, like, fighting all the time and shit like that. Yeah.

And so I think that's. In the videos, they're like, this is a great view over here. Shut up, you fucking bitch. Don't you fucking. I can't do this with you. So I got to kill people before this podcast blows up. Yeah, yeah, yeah, that's the move. Yeah, yeah.

Yeah, what other big YouTubers are there right now? I don't even know what that world is. Like, there's like the Nelk Boys. People are like the Nelk Boys or where it's at. That's more than I know. Yeah, I don't. I watch the dumbest shit on YouTube. Yeah.

I watched this video, this 30-minute video yesterday about, about Stroads. Do you know what Strode is? No. It's like the middle ground between the highway and a road in a town. You watch 30 minutes? 30 minutes. It was really,

I don't know, it's interesting to me. It doesn't sound interesting. It sounds boring as fuck. That was the worst explanation I've ever heard. What? Is it like grass?

The videos making, no, not, it's just like a sidewalk? No, not literally what's in between those roads. It's like, you've ever been in a town

where there's like a bunch of like, like malls and shopping promenades on the side of the road? And the road is like a four-lane road. Like strip malls. Yeah. Yeah. And then the road is like,

It's like four lanes. It's like really busy, but it's in a town. Uh-huh. Go ahead. It's in a town. And so the video is making this argument that they're really dangerous and expensive, but they keep building them. Do you do a job where you're like it?

Like why? How do you, do you have like a construction job or something? I don't know. I don't have a job. A comedian. What the fuck? This sounds like an autistic thing. Or the microdosing is really working.

And you're like, dude, this doctor's, documentaries. It's cool. If you just submit to you like, you know what? I'm going to watch a boring thing for a bit. And you're not like in a waiting room. You're just in your house. And so you're like, oh, you know, I'll just throw this on. It'll trick you into, you get interested in. You're going to be like with people. You're going to be like, you know, there's it dangerous, right? They're like, we don't care at all. Yeah. Yeah. I love having something to say to if I'm in a car with someone for a long trip, I can bring that fact up

and then I can look at the face. Is that why you researched this? You just have stuff to bring up with the car. You know, roads are dangerous, right? What the fuck are. I can smoke this or what? I can sound off about a strode. Dude, don't get it. 15 minutes and then watch their face be like, I have to fucking sit in the car with this guy.

Yeah. Do you have nothing like that? You've no interest at all that are just... I mean, if I was like scrolling and I accidentally clicked on it, and then I accidentally started watching it, then I probably would watch it. Dude, for mine... If it was, if they had to get attention grabber, like, Stroads are killing your family.

And I'm like, what? and then they're like, oh yeah, your family might die because they're dangerous. Yeah. And then he has a really long... For me, oh, by way, then I probably turn it off. He'll hold up higher on the mic.

Yeah, there you go. I was holding... I don't know if it's like... It's horrible, yeah. It's a horrible. Yeah, it's a horrible. But for me, that's literally UFO conspiracy theories and vaccine

conspiracy theories, which... I mean, I took the vaccine, but I'm still like... Oh, no. Well, I was pretty... I was taking Adderall and just listening to Robert Kennedy's book, just at my job. I was just doing data entry, and I'm like, oh, my God, we're all so fucked. And then, like, I just stopped taking Adderall for a week.

I'm like, oh, that was psychotic. Like, that was... Dude, Adderals, I tried it for the first time two days ago. And my friend had some, so I took some. And then I was like, wow, this stuff's pretty, like, I'm listening to shit for the first time in my whole life. Yeah, like, I'm actually like, it's weird. Yeah, it's speed.

Like, it's really speed, yeah. But it's like... Do you get, like, the anxiety part of it? Or were you... No, I didn't really get the anxiety part. I get anxiety with, like, weed. that's right i i because i used to smoke a lot yeah i'm just like i don't really smoke that much

but when i do now it's just like complete sometimes it's fun but other times it's like completely just like dude this sucks like why did i do this that's the word when it goes man i could have fun without smoking pot why do you have to have what do this god damn this could have been a great we were literally having fun yeah yeah and you fucked it up this isn't more yeah my by like my hungover brain is like a

football coach, like that anxiety is like, you fucking piece of shit. You think you're going to be a comic. You were out drinking last night. But then my weed anxiety brain is like this just pussy whiny, like, just like, you could have fun without it and like, now you're having a... But it's like every time I smoke pot, I smoke pot every single night. I have a panic attack. But it lasts three minutes because I know what it is. I'm not just doing it to not enjoy it. I know what. You know you're going to have a panic attack every night? Yes. Well, I kind of get what you're saying because I've kind of mentally been able to do that where I'm like, all right, you're good.

Like, just stop thinking about that stuff and think about this stuff. Yeah. Well, that's what we do. That's why they give it to, like, cancer patients because it just divorces you from where you're feeling. You can, like, separate it.

Yeah, yeah, to an extent. So I can, like, have a panic attack and then be, like, watching that happen. You're like, yeah, you know. But it doesn't, like, fix cancer. No, not at all. No, yeah, yeah. Yeah, I think they've proven it doesn't give you lung cancer,

maybe. Or there's less carcinogens in it. But I don't know how they know, really. But I think that is, I don't know, I think it also helps their appetite. So that's why they give it to cancer patients because when you go through chemotherapy, you like...

Any point in my life, though, where I've been smoking a lot of weed, I'll, like, smoke a lot at night. I never do it during the day. I would smoke a lot at night and then eat at night and then the whole day I'd have no appetite. The next day?

Yeah. Until I smoke weed again. Yeah. No, I smoke weed every night. And it's so funny, though, because people are like, you know, it's bad for your REM cycles. I'm like, you know, it's also bad for our Remp cycles?

I'm like, you know what I mean? Like, like, nothing. Nothing's good for your sleep. Anything that puts you to sleep is not good for your sleep. But it's like, I don't fall asleep. Like, I have horrible time sleeping. So it's like... Put it in, a REM cycle, that's like when you're in your deepest part, right?

Yeah, yeah. The deepest part of your sleep. Something like that. So what, you're not sleeping because you're not in that deep, deep zone. That's what they say. It's like, don't you just need to close your eyes and, like, relax? Isn't that what all sleep is? Who cares if you're not sleeping harder?

Well, there is like, I used to take Adderall, and then I would, like, I would drink because I try to put myself to sleep. sleep, like in college for exams. And then I realized that I was probably just blacking out thinking I slept for like five hours. And I'm like, okay, I guess I'm ready for my exam. Yeah, that was a while. Just blacking out.

Dude, it was wild. I would take like a bunch of Adderall, drink coffee. And then I would sit on my girlfriend's back porch and just change smoke cigarettes while like typing these papers. And then midway through, I'd get like a tall boy of malt liquor and just slowly start drinking that while I'm finishing up my paper to like start just calm. down the, man, what a, what a disaster way to live. It's just fucking.

You made it through. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, I mean, that's like what it takes, I guess, for some people. I could, I couldn't do college at all. Yeah. It's tucked. Did you do college? Yeah, I did college, but I did film, so, like, you know, I didn't need to black.

I did creative writing. It was, yeah, I was, yeah. I'm not how we were doing any of the report. I was a film minor, and that was funny because we had, we had this one teacher who was just dumb. Like, she was like, uh, she was like this big white woman and it was multicultural film

and I hate to be like that like woke stuff stupid but it was like over the top with her she's like men on average aren't even stronger than women and you're like I mean yeah they are like they are like they're women that could kick my ass but everybody in the class is like what is this woman talking especially because it's like

it's like tell asses he's like listen it's like a college talent so it's slightly progressive but even the people in that class were like what is she saying right now? You're in a film class too yeah yeah yeah Like, why this has nothing to do with film? Dude, every, it was multiple.

So it was the Bechal test. We had all that stuff too where it's like, can women go two seconds in a movie without mentioning a, like all, it was just breaking down culture and film and stuff like that. There's so many people that just want to put their own opinions into what they're teaching. Oh, that's just what it was. And that's like, obviously you're going to do that. But when it's like, what?

Yeah. I can't even see like how you come to like that conclusion and actually try to tell people. Which one? The women one? Yeah. the women are as strong as men, it's like, no. Yeah.

Like, I'm just, just not true. Yeah, it's like, there's a reason when Chris Brown and Rihanna fought were like,

he's a piece of shit. Yeah. I mean, it's like, it's like, yeah. Yeah. But also,

it's funny because is it a size dynamic thing or what you grin at about? I always tell what Jake gets an idea. Gets a little grin. Well, the first thing I thought of what you said I was a film,

I meanered in film, was like, oh, you like to film minors. Bingo. All right. That couldn't have caused a smirk. But then, uh, that couldn't have caused a smirk.

That's also, that's such a, that's such like a man's way of looking at it. Of like the women, like, you know, women are actually like stronger than men. Like, that's a dude way of looking at that problem. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, like a guy who beats women is like, dude, they're actually stronger than us. So yeah, yeah, yeah, Rihanna just didn't want to break his neck. Yeah. Yeah, Chris Browd all day. Yeah, that was, yeah, that was one thing.

And then it was like, that is the fun argument, though, because then people were like, what about if a woman is bigger than a guy she's dating and she's kicking his ass? And the answer is, I just don't care. Like, I don't. I don't know how to describe it, but I just, I don't. There's so many things that I can't figure out so I don't care about. Like, like, it's probably wrong. It's probably sex.

I'm like, I, I, I'm willing to listen and learn how to be better. I'm like, I just, it's the same thing with the teachers, fucking the students. When it's a girl, I just, I don't care. But when it's a dude, I'm like, that's sick, son of a bitch. Taking high school pussy from those high school bull. always what is he doing? I think that's maybe what. Like when they were like,

when they're like, like transgender people like are swimming, but they're like kicking the shit out of them. And then people are like, yeah, but they should be able to do what they want because like they're just trying to live their life and they're like,

yeah, but we want to get to win and it's like, well, I don't really care either way. Yeah, yeah, yeah, it's your kid's not gonna go pro either if they're losing,

you know? Like they're, so just, it's a sport. Who cares? Yeah, yeah. Yeah. We care way too much about sports.

Oh, for sure. Especially like swimming. Yeah, like, in high school, it's just for fun, you know? Like, who cares? Can you push that in real quick? Make sure it's good? I think it's been good. You're good.

Like, who cares? We're just... Yeah, but I get why in the South that's a thing, too, because we love high school. Like, that's, like, what's going on in the towns? Yeah. Like, listen. But it is funny because there's always those people that, like, would have never watched swimming, and now they're like, dude, she's fucking up the female swim.

And it's like, no, when have you cared about that? It's like, the same thing, it's like, I'm not super for, like, the body positive. I mean, I am in some ways, whatever. But like some people are like, dude, it's unhealthy for it. Like, when have you cared about people's weight? Are you putting on like fitness clinics for people? It's like now you're randomly like Lizzo's unhealthy. It's like, all right, she is.

But like, what do you, you know what I mean? It's like, focus on something else. Like, who cares? You know? If you're just going to be mad about it. That was a funny side. But nothing's going to change. Did you see that sign?

There's a sign of the city bike. It's like Lizzo and it's like biking is for you. That's what it says. It's basically just like fat people. You can hop on bikes. Like if a fat person was like looking at the city bike. because they're like, I'm too big. Yeah, and they're like, wait.

No, I can handle this. Yeah. Wait, Lizzo can get on this bike? I don't know. Do you think there's ever been a march for the body positive movement? I don't know. What do you mean?

Like, just like a thousand fat people. I mean, it's funny in theory. The quickest march? All right, guys. Just rolling up on the scoots. I mean, that's what it would have to be. One thing I thought was funny is, what if, I was just thinking about little people.

I was thinking about, you know, Brad Williams? Yeah. It was like a very funny comic. But what if he just randomly took a turn in like his special? Was super mad about my people. They've been oppressed for years. And now you're going to tell me trans people are oppressed. And you're like, whoa, where's that coming from?

He's the one comic I'd really like to see sit on the stool. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. He's climbing up. It is funny because I have not met. I mean, I've had that little person about podcast. And, like, I tried to bring up, like, I was like, you know, was high school hard for you and stuff like that? He's like, no, I was class president. Like, it's one of those things is like, like, like, you always think that they're going to be like, it actually is really.

And like, I mean, I'm sure it is tough in some ways, but it seems like. Yeah, but more like for, like, it's more, I'd be so cool to go into any room and anyone's happy around you. You know, like, it is condescending in a way, but like also like, yeah. But come on. Yeah. Like, you're just short. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah.

You're fun. Yeah. It would suck to be a short guy that's like almost a little person, but like not quite. And then you're just short, you know what I mean? It's like you're not, you're not, you're not, you're not, a little person. Maybe you're just not fun. You're just like a, like a really boring guy. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

You just have, like, talks talking about Stroads and shit. Yeah, he's just a little guy. Because to be fair, every little person I met is cool as fuck. Like, I genuinely, I mean, to be fair, it's been little person wrestlers, little person stripper. I haven't met like a business man. But, like, even walking down McDougal Street, like, there's that. what? That's just funny.

I'm picturing like a weird village people kind of thing. The stripper, the wrestler, the businessman. Yeah, yeah. And then, I don't know, just the bean. The last guy is just a bean. Like a bean, like a jelly bean or something. Or like a peanut. Yeah.

Yeah, I mean, it's like they can't. The littlest fireman. Yeah. I mean, they're like, I don't know. I think I asked him what good jobs there are for them because you've seen there's certain things they're better. at than other people. Like, I assume, like, things where you've got to go in crevices, like, uh, like, any job where you

have to be under somebody's house or, like, cleaning in, like, insulation and stuff like that, I assume they'd, like, kick ass at. Yeah. But, like, I don't know, I've just never seen one in a suit ever in my whole entire life. I, a little person in a suit. A little person in a suit? I'm not, I have. I don't know.

Where? Going to work. Walking to work. I don't know. Oh, hair from the Lorax. He wears a suit. Yeah, yeah, yeah. not oh okay why would you this didn't make that big of an impression off

yeah to me I'm like they can't work in offices I'm like I was like I was like oh my office is hey Mike you need to chill out I turn off my mic also also Jake's hand arrays like this I think you just do it something but it sounded like he was like easy easy let's not get into this topic I'm sure they wear suits I know I'm just saying I haven't seen it so it's not Elf, the short person. That was a movie, though. They had to digitally animate it.

He just wore a green jumpsuit and they had the dots on. It was not a real seat. He wouldn't take off his wrestler's uniform. CGI it over. We're going to take the banana costume. He's in a diaper. He's refusing to take it off. This is what we wear.

It's part of my culture. He's wearing a diaper. Oh, man. He's like, all right, but he's like super serious about it. Yeah. All right. Did we block this scene yet? Are you in a diaper?

Yeah. I'm in my business dikeler. Yeah. What? Just having a P.A. Can you go change Peter's diaper? I was behind. He's smoking cigars while he's diaper changed.

I was behind that guy in an airport once. Peter Dinklitch. He was in front of me. I heard he's like a total asshole. I would imagine. I didn't even talk to him because I was like, you don't want to bother this guy. They put him through the machine. Yeah.

He probably gets like, like bothered more than any celebrity. Oh, for sure. And not just like, can I get a picture, people like, can I like pick you up? Yeah, always. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Well, because people will see him and if they don't know them, they'll go, holy crap, that's a little person. And then they'll be like, oh my God, that's the little person.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. That is the guy. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Besides we man. We man might be the other. Yeah, those are the two. And then third is like, what's his name? Brad Williams.

Yeah, Brad Williams. Slowly making a name. Or they got Tony Cox. who's that game? He was from Santa, like the Billy Bob Thornt movie about Santa. You know what I'm talking about? Oh, yeah, yeah. He's in a lot of shit.

Yeah. Oh, and Mini Me. Yeah. Oh, yeah. Well, Tony. Tony Cox's a fucking shitload of things. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Well, that's the thing is, like,

if you're a decent actor, you're going to hit all the roles because they're like, all right, this guy already has experience and other stuff. Yeah. Peter Dinklich is a great actor. Yeah, yeah, he's incredible. Probably an asshole, though.

You're probably right. Yeah, yeah. I wonder if he would ever play a tall person. Like, do you think if they did in the Infinity War? He played like a giant. Oh, really? Mm-hmm. Who, like, he builds Thor's Hammer or something.

I'm not even like a Marvel guy. I remember this because it was like, he was Peter Dinklage. Did they put him in a giant green suit, though? Was it like that? I don't, I don't remember. Do you think this is so condescending? Do you think they would have a movie where they put him on somebody like? It's condescending just to be like, hey, buddy, you want to play a big guy?

I'm thinking we get two of you guys. Stack them on top of each other. It's a big old trench coat. Dude, I would so pay for that movie. You're going to buy one ticket to an adult movie. That's the whole thing. Yeah. Yeah, maybe I just didn't realize it was him because I don't know his face.

I just look at his body and then I see his face. Yeah. And then I was like, oh, this guy isn't him. Every actor I see, I'm like, this isn't Peter Dinklage. Oh, yeah. Yeah, that's wrong. Yeah. I saw what's his name, Kumar yesterday.

And I looked, I looked bad because, like, one of my friends. Cal Penn? Yeah, yeah, Cal Penn. My friend didn't know he was. I just, you just called him Kumar.

Yeah, I mean, that's his name. Okay. To be fair, if you did that with anybody else. He's got, he's got,

he's at like the coolest life, dude. No, I know, but I'm saying, like, it also looked worse when my friend

didn't know who he was? And I go, Kumar. And he's like, what the fuck are you talking about? I'm like, Harold and Kumar, he's like,

what? And I had explained to him and he eventually he's like, oh, the White Castle movie. I was like, yeah, that's a guy from it. Wait, it was the guy for that movie? Yeah, yeah. I saw him just yesterday, yeah. Oh, I've seen right. He's around City a lot. Was he like fucking with you? No, no, no, but my friend was just confused because I just pointed it in the end guy.

Oh, you were talking. Oh, okay, okay. I thought you went up to him and he was like, you know, I was pointing his face going, you were in that one movie. He's like, what movie? Oh, in White Castle? Yeah, I remember that movie. I was like, what if he didn't remember? Like, there's always a, what if he didn't remember filming me? Yeah, yeah, I saw that on Steve. Yeah, but he knows that he was in it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But you see, there's a lot of actors that say that.

Yeah, yeah. And it's not necessarily like a disease thing. It's just like they were working on this one thing for so long. And the way everyone, it must be like, oh, you must have so many stories from the set. They're just like, I don't really. Yeah. I was just like going to work. Yeah, yeah.

And if, yeah, exactly. They're like, do you remember day 45? Like, you wouldn't remember scenes because, like, do I want to remember just random days at work. Yeah, yeah. And the Matthew Perry thing is just that he was on pills. Like, he just doesn't remember. member seasons for friends. He got like a weird me too, didn't he?

But it wasn't like a big deal. He like hit up some like 23 year old girl on like some app and then people were like he's creepy. I'm like, I guess, but I don't know that's a crime. Yeah. This is a Matthew very, very positive podcast. Whatever he gets accused of, I don't care how violent the crime, we defend him.

Yeah, I only know he was like a co-kead for a bit. I don't know about. Yeah, I just respect him for that. Killed those kids. I mean, and did all those crimes. Those kids were asking to be killed. That's what it was. I just don't, I'm trying to, I don't even. Oh, yeah, no, I don't know.

Matthew Perry. I might be able to recognize his face. There's also, like, a part of me that's like, some of that life is like, everybody's like, it's so sad. I'm like, to an extent. Like, everybody's so, like, they look at Hunter Biden. They're like, wow. I'm like, if anybody should be smoking crack, it's him.

Like, could you imagine, though, if, like, that was Malia Obama. Oh, no, yeah. Be like, the media. You told you. Yeah, yeah, it would be very racist. Yeah. But I'm saying, like, him smoking. it's like, why shouldn't you smoke crack?

Well, financially, it's a bad decision. He's going to be fine financially. For your health, it's bad. He has the best access to health. Like, he should be smoking crack. He's like going down water slides and fucking, like, hook, and doing all this, like stuff. Everybody's like, it's so sad.

I'm like, it's sad that we can't live in the moment like that. A little bit of president. Yeah, that's like, yeah. Yeah, it's like, what does he have? He doesn't have any reason to, like, be a successful. You know what I mean? It's like, he can just fuck off. You know what I mean?

It's like, why does he have to, be like a functioning member of society. It's like, dude, he wrote down that wall, you see that naked video from him in a water slides? Like, imagine being high as fuck on crack and just flying down a water park slide. Like, that has naked. That has to be like the peak living. I can't think of anything more fun than that.

How is he not like gone to jail though? Because like, I mean, he's, vice president. Yeah, but I mean, like, it's common knowledge now, you know? There's so many like senators and congressmen who, like, congressmen, the guys in that station who have children who are

just complete fuck-ups. Dude, we had one in Orlando who drove a, like a very high respect to politician, drove his son on acid, drew a car through a house, like just nailed somebody's, like living room,

and then just like back down was like totally fine. Do you know that guy, Madison Cawthorn? Sounds really familiar. He's a, I think he's from, like, Georgia. He's a Republican senator.

He's like the youngest guy to ever be in that position. And he's paraplegic. He broke his legs, like, in a car. he was like drunk driving he or his friend was drunk driving

and they crashed he was like in Orlando I'm pretty sure and like he both is paralyzed if this was in Orlando we would have made him the mayor but this guy is like a complete sociopath and he just

his scandals are you would love this guy if you gotta look him up but one thing that he would always say is that he pulled the guy who was driving the car out of the car and saved his life

and the guy who was in the car was like that's not true I watched him crawl out of the car. He's like, I saw him just purposely evaded. He's the man, dude. That's awesome. I mean, he's in a wheelchair now

and he keeps getting like me-toed. That's a lot. We got to kind of roll your chair over to grab some girls' ass. That's a next level. Just be like tugging on their skirt and be like, hey, do you want to sit on my lap? You're a creep. Yeah.

That's the only way it works. Nothing else is working. Dude, him just rolling around with hose on the chair. There's also a video that just came out of him, like, having gay sex. Yes. It's, oh, he's the band, dude. We were talking about there earlier. Chris came back was, he was like a couple episodes ago, and he's like,

if you're going to feel your legs, would you let your buddies fuck your ass? And we're like, no, he goes, why not? You can't feel anything. I'm like, that's... Yeah, I'd be pretty upset to learn that my friends were waiting to fuck my ass. Yeah, I don't feel... Yeah, I'd put that off for it. on the table.

Yeah, yeah. But I would expect them to say no. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Actually, I don't want to go. Put it on the table. I want to be like, you just fuck my ass. I mean, like, they could also do it and I'd never find out.

Yeah. You know? That's probably the most innocent form of raping. They can't feel. If I couldn't feel below and I was sleeping and they fucked my ass, the worst that would happen is there would be an earthquake in my dream. Yeah. That's the worst that would happen.

I'd be a little scared and be like, whoa, Mitchell Musso, who or whoever I'm dreaming about. We're shaking right now. Is that a Disney channel guy? Yeah, yeah. I'm guessing we're like flying velociraptors or something. You shit out loads of cum.

You're like, what the fuck happened? I think a serious doctor's meeting. You're like, I don't know what it happens. Like you fucking... Your friends fucked you in the ass. Really? No. No.

No, no, no. Yeah, I mean, no harm, though, foul. But that is what happened. And I was like, all right, I guess. I guess I didn't. Sure, this is just come. Tell me it's not. Tell me it's not, Doc.

Tell me it's not, Tom. Please. Hard to transition from this. Yeah. No, I don't care. No, yeah, I don't care either. I think I would put shit in my ass. If you could have, if you couldn't feel anything. I'd just go to the doctor all the time.

Like a wallet. Velcro it up. I've always, I've since the podcast. before. I've always wanted to go to the doctor, get a prostate exam, and have another surgical glove hanging out of my ass. It'd be like, I must have been from the last one. Or just like a condom hanging out or something.

Name tag. That's like the fuck of that jackass bit. Oh, yeah, the condom in the with like the toy car. Yeah, it winds all the way up. Another funny one I've always thought about it's like, you should go to go testicular exam and you just have a condom on your dick. That'd be funny. Not like even more subtle just to have like

a wet, like a lubed penis. just like slightly like just a slick penis yeah have you have you put Vaseline on put on my penis? Yeah yeah, no Oh dude's great I mean it's impossible to get.

Have you? But what? Vaseline. Vaseline on my dick? Yeah. I don't think so. Is it used for anything? What's it used for?

Like chapped lips. No idea. It's like dry skin. I used to use it's so thick that if. you jerk off with it, like it's so hard to get off. Like water slides off of it. So you'll be in the shower. It's like

a candle. Yeah, yeah. You just said this was like a good, you tried to like recommend it to me. No, well, it feels good, but it's like that, it's just going to be like that forever. But like water, you'll try to wash it off and water would just slide off. So you have to like really like scrub it off. But yeah, I didn't know it was used for lips. Interesting.

Now I know that. I think I'm going to get ball cancer that. I was jerking off the other day. And my phone screen is really warm. So I put it against my testicles. I'm like that. Can't do that, dude. Yeah,

it just seems like how you get cancer. You get like three texts in a group chat and you get that's a two. Yeah. It is no good. Yeah, it seems dangerous. I don't know. Is that like real that like phones give?

People say that's a thing they're thinking. I don't know. Well, they were like, I saw this thing where it was like, if you plug in your phone, it's giving off like all this energy. And if it sleeps right next to your head,

like all this electricity is getting off. It's like, and? Yeah. Yeah. So what? Like, doesn't that make, doesn't electricity make things better? Since when does electricity suck?

Yeah. I've always heard that with like every time they release a new G when it's like 3G or 4G, 5G, every time there's a contingent to people who are like, this is going to give you cancer. Oh, yeah. Like, if you have 5G on your phone, it's in your pocket, you're going to get cancer. It's like, what do you know? Have you gotten cancer from it? Yeah.

The fine G. You don't even know what fucking G is. Yeah, yeah. It's okay. I don't know. The one thing that is crazy, though, is I... What? Your face.

It's funny. You're like, hey, I don't know. Moving on. Hey, moving on. Yeah. That's fucking not talking. Well, the funny part is I keep,

I keep looking down because I keep freaking out the recorders not working. And it looks like I'm nervous about what we're talking about. Like, you guys are talking about having come in your ass. I'm like not making eye contact. And then people are not happy. Yeah, yeah. I'm like, they don't like come talk. They don't like come talk.

The one thing that is weird that not to get into it is. It is funny that, like, six months ago, everybody was like, yo, there's going to be a new chicken pox outbreak. They're like, there's some vial found in, like, Oklahoma just wait for it. And then now the monkeypox thing is, like, slowly becoming a thing. They were, like, conspiracies theorists that for, like, months were, like, they're come back with some form of chicken pox and it's happening. And now, like, it seems like it's actually spread.

Because I wasn't freaked out about it. I didn't care at all when I was, like, monkeypox can be, like, transfer through sex because I'm like, all right, I have a girlfriend. You know what I mean? It's like, there's no worry for that. But then it's like, then I found out spitdrop, it can like get transferred that way. Yeah, it's like, they say it's like kissing

is the most often like transferred. I'm kind of glad I'm from North Dakota because we never had to worry about this. Yeah, yeah. Like people here are like all scared and I'm like, monkeypox. I don't even know. I'm not scared. I'm scared of this becoming

hardly no. Like another Coke. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm not like, oh, I'm gonna die a monkey box. I'm like, I don't want to shut everything down. But like even during COVID for me, like we still had everything open in North Dakota.

Like most things. Yeah, that's how Florida basically. Oh yeah, you're from Florida. Yeah, so yeah. Yeah, we're on the same page. But the things I live here now. So it's like I would have to move. Like if they tried pulling the same shit they did last time.

Not pulling the same shit. They try pulling that fucking move on me. I don't think people would be on board with it again. Dude, you say that. But I thought that the first time, because I remember the first time they opened, we were like, oh, yeah, there's no way they're going to shut down indoor dining again. And then they just did it.

And you're like, oh, I guess they can just kind of do that whenever they feel like it's necessary. Yeah, but that, time people were kind of like were more willing to not follow the law. What do you mean? There are a lot of people doing like secret dining. No, for sure, but it still was an issue.

Yeah, but I'm saying like it's like fucked up the third or fourth time that happens. Like if monkeypox ends up being that bad, most people are going to be like, I don't fucking care. Just don't don't kiss people in my restaurant, I guess. Do you say that? But it's like, I don't. The government can like control it and be

like, we'll shut you guys down if you don't. Yeah, yeah. And it's like even you still like go on like the, I'm not against anybody wearing like a mask on like the subway. But like I wasn't wearing a mask the other day or today. And I heard this woman just talking shit about me to her friend. She goes, supposed to wear masks. Well, I guess that's not a thing anymore. Really? I've never, I've never wear a mask. And no one. Yeah. I was like, I was like, I'm not. I don't care if you wear like that's cool. But like you're just like clearly talking shit about me like right here. Yeah. And yeah. How can you live in New York City and you're like, why isn't everything like comfortable for me right now? Yeah. That's so true. He's a goddamn nightmare all the time. Yeah, yeah. You're on public transit for fuck's sake. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, there's so much, dude, on the way over here, I saw a woman pissing, homeless woman.

By the way, way, way, way more hydrated than I am. She went for like, like, three minutes. Like, I was walking. Clear. Dude, I saw her pissing, and I'm like, all right, that's a homeless woman pissing. And I was walking towards her, and it was like, she was very far away. And I passed her, and I could still, as the sound from behind me was, I could still hear the piss.

Like, you know what I mean? Like, yeah. Like, she had so much. water, especially with this heat out here, she must be drinking gallons. Yeah. By the way, dude, since the last time I was here, which was what, Thursday, the fucking tent city down the street has gotten like... Dude, dude, dude, it's nuts.

More people moved in. Dude, yeah, yeah, yeah, we're getting a real circus going. There were like nine guys down there. Yeah, yeah, yeah. When I was walking over here. It is so funny. Every episode, there's a progression. Like, five episodes ago, somebody's like, oh, there was a guy doing a heroin on a couch outside your building.

I'm like, yeah. And I've listened to every week, and every week you can hear this street getting worse. Like you hear a different story about something it's like, so 14th, that's just become a market. Like that area, it's just like a market where they're selling like old DVDs, socks, all kinds of random shit.

It's like literally like almost like it's trying into like Skid Row. Like I was going to continue to grow like that if people are just flocking there. Yeah. Yeah. But I can't, I'm so excited for that email when they're like, we're raising your rent. I'm going to be like, go ahead. I'm moving the fuck. I got like, this is a great spot, but I'm be like, I literally, you guys didn't give me fucking heat

for all of winter, we have heat like one hour a day or like some crazy shit. And I have visual, I have pictures of like our thermostat and the fucking temperature app. I'm like, you guys literally did not, I have like hundreds of the,

not hundreds, but probably 30 pictures of that. Then it's like on top of that we have, we get packages stolen all the time. I love about this bar that's so goddamn loud. And then just the neighbor is just getting worse and worse. So to be like, yeah, the market's really,

I'm going to be like, not this one. What's your recourse for them not giving you heat? what do you mean? I called the person here and the day the person was there they turned the heat on. So I was like,

I didn't call them a second time. And then they emailed us. They're like, well, technically, if you have an air conditioner outdoor unit, then you can't complain about the weather being cold

because like that lets in cold air or something like that. And I'm like, yeah, but I don't have any fucking heat. I'm touching the thing and it's not warm. Like, you know what I mean?

I'm physically cold. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Heat is to make me feel warm and I'm not so like it's not doing his job. Yeah. And they also, they literally said,

we're not required to give you heat all day long. And I'm like, yeah, you are. That's such a crazy thing. What? Yeah, yeah. They're like, no, we don't need to give you heat all. I'm like, what the fuck? Yes, you are.

It's, it's heat. You're supposed to be able to have heat in the fucking winter. It's like, you're not like, no, from four to three, you get heat. It's like, what the fuck are you talking about? That's so dumb. They're just, I mean, New York is just filled with pieces of shit that are like, I get it because it's a cycle. It's like somebody's fucking you over, so you fuck somebody else over.

It's like, you know what I mean? It's like, I think you become a shittier person away and everybody that just has lived in the city long, they just become like more jaded in that sense. The saddest, though, was I was talking to the bar downstairs, which has been my nemesis for like a year. I'm like, they need to turn that fucking music down. It's so loud.

I hate them. I hate them with a passion. I've screamed fuck key bar at the top of my lungs. And I was down there the other night drinking with like the owner. And he was like, yes, it's very sad. We are shutting down and we're moving. and I had to be like, it's so sad. Do you guys have like a date in mine?

Like I had to figure out. I was like, do you guys know when you're moving? And it was just the saddest thing because it was like, this whole time like my enemy has been this like guy who's just trying to run a business. And I'm like, ah, man. You're like, damn, that sucks so much. Do you know who's moving in? And do they have live music?

It's actually a misoge place. Oh, thank God. Yeah, thank you. I mean, that would be fine. Because the problem is not the, the bass. Because like, dude, I can't hear sound. at all. But it's like you, I put in earplugs. I have earmuffs. We have soundproofing and

your chest just vibrates. It's horrible. We got in an unanimous call. Someone called in a bomb threat. Oh, dude, that's crazy. Oh, man. Wow. You're not looking into the voice though. Yeah. Yeah. Damn, that sucks.

And it also, I thought it was German, so I guess it's Hungarian. I don't know that. Which are completely very different places, right? you know you know it's not in the Rhine I guess yeah that part of the world's called

the Rhine Rhineland I don't know like Austria Germany yeah actually that is kind of buy itchail I guess it's not that far off yeah yeah yeah

when I don't know I will 100% just plan to yeah I have no idea yeah like I might be like I know they're probably not but I don't like

I'm not 100% so I have no idea yeah you're from North Dakota or South Dakota North Dakota what's that like because in my mind

it seems like it's not, is it really like what people say where it's just like there's nothing going on there? Yeah, I mean, like there's not really much going on there. Is there like a big sitting? Yeah, like I'm from Fargo, which is like the biggest city there. Okay. But even that, it's like we're probably the most, we're like a red state, but like downtown is like very hipstery. Like, especially downtown Fargo. Those are a lot of times like the coolest places.

Like people from a city in like, either the south or like the Midwest or somewhere like that, like a city person in like a country. You know what I mean? like people that live in like Denver or like somewhere like that yeah yeah we yeah we got kind of lucky we have like a great club like comedy club and i got really lucky because when i started they like open it's called the cellar oh the owners came to new york and they're they went to a show at the cellar and they're like we got to start a club so they went back and named it the cellar but it's in a cellar so it's fine yeah yeah but yeah so north yeah fargo's pretty cool though

if you uh what did you guys do for fun was it like what was like growing up like um I mean, it's just, like, I was there in high school and then... Were you not there originally? So I'm from Minnesota, technically, because that's right. But then high school, I moved to North Dakota. And then I would just, yeah, did the whole high school, went to college there. And then, but yeah, he kind of started to stand up, like, senior year of high school. So I was just like...

Oh, that's a great day. How old are you? 23. Oh, fuck, yeah. So I was just like, I was like, that's all I really gave a shit about. Yeah. So, yeah. You guys both started young, like really young. When you start, like, 19.

I mean, I started when I was 20. I guess not dramatically different, but yeah. But yeah, no, that's fucking awesome. I wish I did in high school. Then I was like, I don't know, I would have said something. No, I sucked a lot. Like, it wasn't like good, but it was just like. Like, it's like, I feel like the nerve thing you probably get better at,

but like the jokes just have to be off. I mean, you should have no perspective on it. Yeah, exactly. Like, I was like just trying to word it in a way that I was like, oh, this would be so funny. But not only did I have zero stage presence. I also just, like, joke was unfinished. It was just like an

idea and I was like, come on, give me something on this, you know? You're like, yeah, do you think lizards have big pussy lips? That's a bit right there. People were like, what are you talking about? All right, it's a bit where I was like, aren't bit mojee's hot sometimes? And I'm like, that's my bit. It's not a bit. This is an idea.

That's not even true. Yeah. It's just an idea you sort of had. But wait, so when you moved COVID? Yeah, uh, yeah, like right at the end. of COVID, I guess. September 1st I got here. Okay.

Well, that's kind of a, that's definitely a huge jump between places. Yeah, it is pretty big. It's definitely different. But, like, it's pretty much the same because we're just drinking here, too. Yeah, yeah. And in Fargo, that's all there is to do is go to bars and get hammered. Do people do a lot of drugs there, or is it just drinking? Yeah, we were in the news at Fargo was because we had, like, the first fentanyl overdose.

Or, like, one of the first that, like, sparked all of, like, you know how there was, like, that spike in, like, 2016 or whatever. Yeah, yeah. like started in Fargo. And then we got on like CNN. I had a bit about it because I was like, like we was exciting because we're like, that's us.

Yeah. We're on the man. Yeah. That's Luke's house. That's the first time we've been on the news. Fargo, yeah. Like Anderson Cooper talking about us. We're like, yeah. I love that guy.

Yeah, that has to be interesting. Because I feel like, well, it's like, that's a weird drug market to think about. Like, you're a drug jail. You're like, we need to work the Fargo, North Dakota scene. Like, that's a weird, you know, Because you'd assume you'd be like, now let's get shit over here.

But there's probably people like, what's like the closest big city to like Fargo? Closest one. God, maybe Grand Forks in North Dakota. That one's pretty big. But they're not like that big. Like the whole population of North Dakota is like 700,000. Well, I think a lot of small towns other than sometimes they'll have like a meth thing

going on. Yeah, yeah. Like that's like a thing in like the rural south where like there'll be places where it's like, oh, like there, I know like dry counties in Tennessee that just, just have like a big bad meth problem. They're like, yeah, but we don't serve any booze on Sunday. South Dakota, they're the ones with all the meth. We have like fentanyl and other drugs.

But from South Dakota, they had a slogan for when they were busting down on meth. And it was meth, comma, we're on it. Which is like, it's like genius, but also like, what are you doing? Like, no one's going to take you seriously now, you know? We're on meth. Yeah, meth, we're on it. And everybody, like, everyone was, talking about it. That's what I think, like, especially, like, you just need people talking about

whatever you're doing, even if it's negative talking about it. Yeah, you want to be in the, like, I love the Florida man thing. I was like, man, they're mentioned in my state. Yeah, sure, where they're like, they're a bunch of fucking idiots down there, but I'm like, it feels good to be included. Exactly. Like the fat kid, they're like, fat Johnny, get over here, everybody's making fun of you. But you're like, yeah, I'm part of the cool kids. Like, if you want a lot of people to be, like, attracted to whatever you're doing, like, even like brand Twitter when, like, pop tarts is going like, God, it's. a woman or whatever and people are like oh fuck you pop tarts or like i love you or whatever and then it's like yeah

but that's their feet like they got people looking at them now yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah i think that was genius meth were on it because i've heard like everyone talk about it but also i don't know how that helps yeah one thing it's just like an awareness that let's you know crack down on the meth problem but also like i don't know that's like uh it's it's interesting because i think about like the life if you're like uh like if you're a farmer doing meth and i'm like i don't know there's all these things that I'm like, yeah, okay, it's bad to do meth, but I'm like, I don't know, there's like, if there's nothing to do, Bargo, like, yeah, it's an actual city, but like, if you're like in the rural area sticks, it's like, I don't know, like, dude, who cares

for doing me? You know, I mean, like, I get it's going to ruin your life, but like, I don't know. It just seems like life would be so boring. I don't know how you wouldn't do meth if you lived in the middle nowhere. I had a friend who is from this place called Boat in North Dakota. It's like population, like, 60 people, like in the whole town. And he literally lives on a farm in the middle of nowhere. and he was on the rugby team and we played,

I was on the rugby team in college, I wasn't good, but like he was on it and he brought me back on time to his place and he had like a pond and like a boat. And I was like, what do you do for like fun? And he was like,

well, sometimes I sit in that boat and I stick it, I stick a stick in the water and then I put a rope around it and then I just let the boat go in circles and I just look at the sky. I was like,

what the fuck? He's like sometimes I even nap when I'm doing it. Like that's two, those aren't. two different things. Yeah, yeah. And being awake

during it. It's the same thing. So they get a bow. But also, like, in some ways there's more to do. Like, I have some cousins that live in, like,

rural Tennessee. And, like, they kind of have, like, tons of activities. Because they're like, oh, I can go horseback, ride. I can take the ATV.

Yeah. I can swim down a river. It's like, as long as you're happy, you know, like, he had, like, a flip phone, too, and he was, like, the happiest guy. It's like,

yeah, yeah. There's something to it. Yeah, because, like, in the city, like, there is a lot too, but there's also not. You mean, it's like, yeah, you could technically do the shit. It's like, no, because it's kind of like you're like fucking, I don't know, I feel like on a Saturday you're like, there's very limited off. You're like, I could sit in the park.

You can't like go like ATV riding in the park. You can't really go horseback riding in the city. Yeah. You can't like, and everything's just like so wildly expensive. So it's like, if you're like loaded, there's like lots of activities in the city. But if you're like either like where I'm guessing we're all making roughly the same finance, it's like you can't do shit really besides drink. If you're like financially,

the same as the people around you, then it's, like, fun to be out, I feel like, yeah, you know? You want, like, especially in those rural towns. Like, a lot of people are just fucking, like, just they make whatever they make at the farm or, like, whatever, and they're all pretty much the same person, so they go drink with each other.

And there's, like, one bar. I've done shows in, like, with a one bar in town where it's, like, 60 people in the whole town, they'll all come to the show because. See, I've had that in Florida a couple times. Yeah, just like the town bar. Yeah, that's where everybody, and everybody knows each other.

Yeah. So, like, the hard part is, like, I have had it, though, where you, like, roast somebody, and they're like, whoa, not Kimberly. And, like, the whole audience, it's like, their best friend there. I'm like, oh, my bad. I didn't realize Kimberly was... It's either that, or it's like, wow, I've never seen anything like this. This guy rules.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. You're so talented in a band. Yeah, exactly, dude. I had a guy tell me the most condescending thing. I, like, I used to do this open mic, and it was totally clean. And I think I've told you a story. And I bombed, and it was a music mic. And they would, like, they would let me do comedy.

And then one time the owner came up, he's like, hey, just a heads-up. We're just not allowing comedy at this mic anymore. He goes, nothing to do with you. That was the only one to ever performed comedy at this open mic. So, like, it was obviously, like, I literally made it. It was so bad they made a rule that I can't do comedy there anymore. Damn. And the worst was, like, a guy came up to me.

The worst, it's all that ever got this guy goes. So the stand-up thing is, like, you're really, I could see more as, like, a serious actor, right? You're not, like, really trying to be, like, a stand-up comedian, are you? And it was just the most awkward discussion. How old were you? It was, like, two years ago. It was like during COVID. Yeah, dude.

It was bad, dude. Three weeks ago. Yeah, yeah. I was like, I had some bombs, dude. I was some fucking bombs. Yeah, but I also, I've only seen you do stand up like three times

and you've killed every time. Thank you. Thank you. Which is like awesome. Yeah, yeah. I wouldn't say you should be a serious actor. Thank you.

I appreciate that. But I also haven't seen you bomb. So maybe. Maybe you saw my act. Maybe you got lucky. He's like, I saw your wheels online, brother, dude. Maybe you got lucky.

I don't know. Also, like, I feel like my thing is whenever I think I to tone it down a notch, I bomb. Like, if I'm hosting, I bomb because I'm like, okay, like, even if I'm not, I'm not saying I have to go up there and say wild shit to get laughs, but like anytime I feel like I have to like, you know what I mean? You want to go up there and flow and just feel like you, you're talking about what you want

to talk about. Yeah, yeah. It's like, I don't have to go up there and talk about, like, suicide or people fucking, or anything. I don't have to do that. But it's like the second I start overthinking everything, then I'm not relaxed. Like, yeah. Like, if somebody was like, you can say whatever you want, then I'm like, okay, I'll

take some choices. I'm like, I might work on this joke that's about this or this and that. But it's like the second you feel like, like, I've been bombing a bunch of LOL. Because I feel like in my head, I feel like this weird feeling like, oh, it's a tourist place. So like don't do anything that's like, you know, whatever. But I don't know. Yeah. But LOL is weird. That place is odd.

Dude, it's challenging. I've never done it. I've just been there before. Yeah. There's like good nights where I'm like, oh, this is like good. But it's like, it's also like, I don't know, it's like you got to learn other skill. Like I suck at CrowdWorks. I'm trying to do that more to get better at it.

That's not a skill that you necessarily need, though. But I think it's going to be passable at it. Yeah, it's good to just have as many tools as you want in your toolbox. Yeah, yeah. But it's like, I mean, there are comics I've seen, like, people I'm huge fans of have seen live. We said, like, never did CrowdWork? Yeah, probably. Yeah, not really.

But there are comics I've seen Live who are like, I'm huge fans of and they're like, they're great. And then someone will interrupt something and they'll just, started over. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, for sure, because they're like, yeah, I don't want to engage in yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah. We're about an hour, though. Anything you guys want to promote? Um, my Instagram, John Henry Kennedy, uh, Twitter, frazzle my gimp and then TikTok, John is toasted. I couldn't get the same for all of them, so I'm sorry, but that's just what it is. I saw a video you posted a while ago. You did? You being like, you're showing your friend a cool restaurants eat at and you end up like going like further and further away and then you're at

the airport. Yeah, dude. Yeah. That was great. Oh, thank you, man. Yeah. I was like, we got to, because I remember going to the airport and Brian was like, we got to do a sketch. And I was like, I got it. What if we're eating airport food? And then he was, like, my idea was like totally different. And then he was like, what if you're just like, I'm like, you're just like, I'm like, you're right, dude. You know, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, excuse me bad. Like I was part of a sketch group and there's one dude's like with you, what if we did the sketch in the 80s? I'm like, that's just a different skit. What does that have to? anything we're talking about right now.

What if we wear skirts in this? Would we address the skirts? No. What do you want to promote? Come, I'm going to be in L.A. at the end of the week, Wednesday through Sunday this week. So if any, I mean, this won't be out until after that, I guess. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

All right, so never mind. Also, if you're in, just don't go to that. Also, I'm going to, I'm headlining in Vermont and Rhode Island in August, so come to those. Oh, shit. I'm going to cut. I don't want people to think of doing it. you're doing better than I'm going to cut that whole part out is that cool with you I'm just editing you in uh I would to be uh doing an open I suck and I'm going to

kill myself Michael's whip on Sunday no definitely go see him if you're in Vermont I don't know if I have any list today but fuck yeah have fun all right peace