Mostly Sports With Mark Titus and Brandon Walker - Mark Titus and Brandon Walker Recap An Insane MNF Game | Mostly Sports EP 1 | 9.12.23

Episode Date: September 12, 2023

A rollercoaster Jets/Bills Monday Night Football game, College football recap, Mila Kunis doesn't shower, naming 2000's MLB Outfielders, favorite zoo exhibits & more on the debut of Mostly Sports with Mark Titus & Brandon Walker. Mark Titus and Brandon Walker talking sports... mostly. Subscribe on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@MostlySportsTitusandWalker?sub_confirmation=1. Thanks to our sponsors: Cars.Com: Find your next possibility on https://Cars.com. Where to next? Factor: Head to https://FACTORMEALS.com/mostly50 and use code mostly50 to get 50% off. Follow Mostly Sports on Twitter: https://twitter.com/MostlySports Follow Mark on Twitter: https://twitter.com/clubtrillion Follow Brandon on Twitter: https://twitter.com/bfw Follow Mostly Sports on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/mostlysportsshow/ Follow Mark on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/marktheshark34/ Follow Brandon on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/bwalkersec/ Follow Mostly Sports on TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@mostlysportsshow?lang=en Follow Brandon on TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@brandonfwalker?lang=en Follow Mark on TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@marktituspod?lang=en

Hey, Barstool listeners, you can find every episode of this show on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or YouTube. Prime members can listen ad-free on Amazon music. Stool, Sport. Tiddy. Brandon Walker. Mostly Sports. Welcome to Mostly Sports. I am Mark Titus.

He is Brandon Walker. Today is Tuesday, September 12. And what do you want to talk about, Brandon? Last night was one of the most surreal NFL game watching experiences I've ever had in life. I felt like I watched a whole season of NFL football in one football game. It felt like I played a whole season of NFL football in one football game. That was. Emotions, uh, jokes. We get, we had it all like Twitter was on fire last night for the whole thing. I still don't really know what the, the, the takeaways are other than just like that was

fucking crazy because I, I, I was like, okay, so we're going to come into the show. We're going to talk about Rogers, Taryn his Achilles. Nope. We're going to talk about the bills kind of sort. Well, maybe the bill, like maybe the bills are going to come back and win and then maybe the, you know, it was all over the place. It was all over the place. It was all over the the place. In the end, the Jets win on a walk-off punt, which is exactly how that game had to end. That's the perfect amount of like chaos. And then not only do they want on a walk-off punt return, you have the fucking dork on the broadcast who comes in or is like asterisk. So I spent three hours, I think everybody did, thinking about how the Jets were doomed.

And meanwhile, the bills were slowly dooming themselves on the floor. And it was weird because the Jets probably are doomed. But they... got last night. Well, the problem, the problem is they're not doing because their defense is so good. So like even their defense is so good, but no, no, no, they're doomed in terms of like winning the Super Bowl. Right. But I think, which is doomed. If I was a, if I was like a fan of a team, you, you see the quarterback that's going to lead you to Super Bowl, tears Achilles, probably. Right. We should say, well, allegedly, how do you, what do, what do journalists say? Just say probably. Probably. Likely. Yeah. Okay. Actually, do you just want to go ahead and say it?

He tore us. You're right. You saw it, right? That thing. is torn to pieces. Like it tore as Achilles. Or his calf just suddenly became very strong. His calf doesn't exist. His calf is taken over his body. It's just like a bowling ball out of nowhere. No, I think like if under normal circumstances,

the quarterback goes down, you think, at least I would think I'd be like, all right, well, let's tank for this great quarterback class that we have coming up. Maybe we're going to get Caleb Williams. Maybe we're going to get Drake May. But they're not going to do. That's the problem the Jets find themselves in.

is like they're not going to be bad enough to tank. They have no shot at getting their number one pick because their defense is so good. So now you're kind of stuck in the purgatory of like how many games can our defense win us? They won them one last night. You know, not only the defense. I mean, the running backs are good. Yeah, they're in the ball. As good as the bill's defense is.

Preythal was fantastic. The receivers are good. Garrett Wilson made a hell of a catch. Like they're good everywhere, but now they're not good at quarterback. And I just knocked my headphones out, but they're good back. So they're good everywhere but quarterback. But the thing is, it really is the most Jets thing that's ever happened in the history of football, right? For Rogers to...

Four plays. He played four plays. You spent all year wanting him. You spent all year getting him and he got him and he runs the flag out and everything's great. And things are, everything's in front of you. What are you looking at? The hacksaw Jim Duginger. Is that on purpose?

Is that like an Aaron Rogers nod to like his one highlight last night running out with the flag? The American flag? Yes, it was on purpose. I woke up this morning and I said to myself, how can I best capture the essence of Aaron Rogers and his career with the Jets? What were your favorite? Let's power rank our favorite Aaron Rogers Jets plays. I would say the opening play.

I would say the one where he tore his Achilles and probably ended his career is at the bottom. I put that one at the bottom. I put that one at the bottom. Right. But it's close to the top too. It's not far from the top. You know what I saw no one point out, but I thought of is did you see in the pregame that he was meeting with Kevin from the office? I did.

So Rogers loves this shirt. Shout out to my guys at Ombuds, a Columbus, Ohio company that I've been in bed with. We don't do free ads here, Titus. I do. Okay. For them. All right.

For friends. Sure. Yeah. And it's also not free. They're paying me. I also have a... I got deals on the side. No, I was going to say Rogers wears that shirt.

Amage made the NBA jam shirt where it's like the office and then it's Kevin and the bowl of chili or the pot of chili. Rogers loves that shirt. He wears it all the time. And then he met with Kevin from the, Brian, Brian Baumgartner, but we need to talk about Brian Baumgartner. He was a Packers fan, right? Now he's a Jets fan because of Rogers?

Maybe he's just an Aaron Rogers fan. When did he become an Aaron Rogers fan? I don't know. That's how NBA fandom works. Why can't it work with the NFL? NFL fandom is different than the NBA fandom. When you sign a guy from in the NFL, he has to be your guy immediately and then you have to want to kill yourself when he tears his Achilles.

Again, four plays. to it like there but but that was that was that was what i was going to say is that it was it was kevin with the pot of chili from the office that was what the whole oh that's the entire career of the arc of uh erin rogers with the jesus it was very on the nose he walks in with big big plans he's got a big pot it's going to be delicious and then all of a sudden it's all that's exactly that's exactly how it went um is he i mean you tear your achilles at 29 okay you tear your achilles at 39 that was i thought adam shifter at halftime was especially harsh where he was just like, we don't know what it is yet.

But guys, let's keep in mind. Aaron Rogers is old as fuck. Right. I thought it was weird when he said that. I thought he was being really, really aggressive. But, you know, he's a good reporter. But everything's about the Jets. Everything's about the Jets.

The bills were given the gift of Zach Wilson. They were given the gift. And this guy was number one, number two pick of the draft. And the Jets are scared to let him throw down the field. They run screens. They do all this stuff. The bills were given the gift. They're supposed to be a Super Bowl.

ball contender. Josh Allen's supposed to be an MVP candidate and he turned the ball over four times. He was garbage. So I guess that's going to be the big talking point for most people coming out of this. If it's not Roger Terrance Achilles, does Josh Allen actually suck? Is it was it right in front of our face the whole time that Josh Allen sucks? And you're just getting enamored by, I mean, he is the gunslinger. He's got the, what? Let me throw a theory at you. What if Aaron Rogers Achilles was really the driving force between Josh Allen's career behind Josh Allen's career what what if Aaron Rogers Achilles I heard I heard you I heard I heard and once it went down it was like Samson getting his haircut in the Bible you ever read the

Bible I thumb through it okay no it's just a weird through it was a weird it was a weird ass night against cultures I don't like um um uh just all of them I'm starting to think Josh Allen might suck, but that's obviously an overreaction, but it's also not because, like, you have this pattern of behavior. You know what was weird? Mark, go ahead.

No, Josh Allen was weird. What? Go ahead. Josh Allen obviously doesn't suck, but is it obvious? It's like, where I'm out with it, where it's like he's super fucking talented,

but he's got the gunslinger gene, and I think you get enamored by the gunslinger stuff because even Brett Farr, before he showed his his penis, and like con people out of a bunch of money and all that sort of thing. We love Brett Farr for the gunslinger mentality. We love certain gunslingers.

It is weird. Sometimes we look at it as a bad thing. Yeah. But then like Baker Mayfield was like, you guys like gunslingers watch this and we're like Baker. Fuck you, Baker. This is not it. Johnny Mansell's like,

I got some gunslinger in me. We're like, Johnny, shut up. Shut the fuck up. Johnny. Here's the thing about. I think, I think like broke through at his first few years where it was like, this is fun. The gunslinger.

What does it like Big Cat say? He matches all the buttons. you know, like that's his little thing. I think like last night for most of the country, we got to the point where we're like, Josh, like, what the fuck are you doing out there? I think last night showed the best of both worlds for them. They fell behind 16, 13.

They got the ball back with a minute and 48 to go one time out. Josh Allen, and there's this scene of Stefan Diggs like grabbing him by the face and saying, all right, we're going to go do it. We're going to go do it. And they just went right down the field. They just got the ball, bang, bang, bang, bang, bang there in field goal range. They kick a field goal.

Then they win the coin toss. They get the ball in overtime, and that offense that was so great just looked lethargic as hell. They just walked out there. Okay, or whatever. It's just week one. And they run the ball on second 15. It was a bizarre turn of events where they went from dominant for 30 seconds to garbage. And then they punted the ball.

They punt the ball. This rookie catches it, takes it back. Where does a punt or kickoff return for a touchdown as a walkoff rank in sports? Because it's very high. I don't know how it's. That's very exciting. That is. So, okay, let me think it through.

walk-off homer people will say is better. But walk-off homers happen too often, though. Walk-off homers walk-off kick returns are not rare at all. Walk-off kick returns are so rare that, yeah. I can't think of very many. That's a great point. I think in college football, I think Houston had one a couple years ago. I believe Houston had a walk-off kick-off return.

And I know, obviously, last night. Deshawn Jackson got close to a walk-off, but I think there were like 10 seconds left. There was one in the Iron Bowl one year, wasn't there? I don't think there was. I don't think there was. Betts Lawson won last year. Did they really? Yeah, to the Patriots.

Told you. That's Ebo, by the way, for those who, uh, everybody knows Evo. Yeah. Everybody knows Connor Griffin. But did they know he's going to be on our show? No. Did they know that? I don't think so.

Yeah. So there we go. Should we introduce the rest of the day? Is he on our show? I mean, he's literally. I think I'm on Titus's show. It's not hard. Yeah.

It's not hard. Brandon's my first guest this week. We're going to try this out for a week. We'll see. We'll see where it goes from there. You're a great. kick so far. Thank you very much. I appreciate it. This is great. I've been a sidekick my whole life, so why not? Why not? Um, no, I, I, I obviously saying Josh Allen sucks is probably an overreaction

after that's reductive, but it's still like, what is what is the difference between, like, at the end of the day, if you are a guy with all the town in the world, but you just can't resist turning the ball over. What? Versus a guy again. Because if I, if I were to argue that Zach Wilson played a better game of football last night, I, I'm not getting a lot of pushback, am I for Zach Wilson versus Josh Allen? The difference is all Josh Allen had to do to win that game was not make mistakes. Yeah. Like

Zach Wilson didn't really do anything to win it. He just didn't make mistakes. And Josh Allen, the only chance the Jets had is if Josh Allen gave them that chance and he did. He helped win the game for the Jets. And that's, as an NFL quarterback, that's the number one sin. Zach Wilson tried tried to make a mistake. He tried to throw an

interception in the end zone. Garrett Wilson wouldn't let him. Jared Wilson was like, I'll fix that for you. And the coaches were like, they wouldn't really let him throw the ball down the field. He was throwing so many screen passes, so many little passes. Like, they knew his limitations. What an insane catch that was. Yeah.

Garrett Wilson. So, Ebo is going to, when there's a big game like that, he's going to make notes of the big moments. So you know what happened because you're going to bed at like. No, no, no, no, no. I was awake. But he's going to make notes. He's got nine notes from this game, nine notable things. Like Josh Allen throwing three picks, Garrett Wilson making the sick catch.

Allen fumbling the ball away, bills, the doink field goal from 50 yards? Yeah, when you said that the bills just marched down and tied the game at the field goal, you glossed over the fact that it doinked off of, Donnie pointed this out, the Wantan Don I saw, pointed out that it, uh, it doinked off the flag. It wasn't just a normal doink. It was like the flag was, yeah, they put at the top of the goal. It was a flag doink. Like a patriotic doint the clown.

It was just insane. Just like one thing after another. I do think the Jets defense is probably the best in the NFL. I do think the Jets. I think it's good. Boy, that Cowboys defense was something the other night. The 49ers defense is something. But they were doing it against the Giants.

Come on. The Cowboys' defense was good. Cowboys defense was like that stadium just gave us to, gave us a huge ass weapon on Sunday night, and then it gave us whatever that was last night. But for the Jets to, for Aaron Rogers to go down and the whole stadium, not just the whole stadium, the whole country is like.

whole country. It's like this game is over. Let's pack it in. And people kind of just stopped watching the game because they just wanted to talk about, right? Everyone's just like zooming it. It's a pruder film on Rogers' left calf. And we stop watching the game. And for the Jets to win the game, it's a testament to how good the defense was. You have, you have a Bill's offense that's supposed to be good. You have a guy Josh Allen who's supposed to be an MVP candidate every year. And for them to still win that game on the back of the defense is incredible. And I do think they're freaking loaded. So this wasn't funny, but it was kind of funny.

I guess in the second quarter, the people were still thinking online, hey, maybe he's okay, he's going to get x-rays, and they show him on the cart backstage, and he gets off the cart, and he's got one of the biggest boots I've ever seen in my life, and he just absolutely can't walk. He looks like he's crippled already, and that's when Jets, hearts had to sink. Yeah. Had to be done. Like, he's over.

Rogers is a tough son of a bitch. So I think, like, there was also 39 years old, too. Yeah, and he had the look of a 39-year-old on his face when he tried to get back in the huddle and he was like standing there and then he just sat down. That was a sad sit-down man. It was just like, nah, get on and don't got it today. I mean, listen, I'm old enough to have done that sit-down before where you think, okay, I'm good, I'm good. Just hold on. Fuck.

Hold on. Let me sit and then we'll reevaluate in a minute. You do that after like 10 minutes outside. I do that walking in here, yes. Did you guys have any thoughts on Chris Clemer pretty much predicting it pregame? Did you see what Chris Clemer said? I haven't been this nervous since right before Vinnie Tesa Verdi Tours Achilles. Chris Clemer is probably the heartbeat of our company right now.

Chris Clemer is probably the most important person of Barcelona Sports. Last week he was the conscious, and now this week he is predicting the future. I don't know what powers he has, but they're significant. I'm going to say something that always gets me in trouble at a company like this. You're going to say another slur? Yes. Okay. 20 minutes in.

Why not? Let a riff. We've got to go viral somehow. Work for Ben, Vince. I, the woes me bullshit from fan bases.

I don't, I don't do well with it. You know, I get where you're coming from. However, however, last night wasn't just, oh, poor us,

poor Jets. Last night was literally for once in their life, Jets fans had hope, built on the fact that they were bringing in a guy that was bringing the hope, and the hope was extinguished in seconds.

They won the game, Brandon. They did, but they still don't have it. I understand. But what frustrates me as a not coastal elite, a guy from middle America, you've become a coastal elite. You just move here from L.A.? You lived in New York, correct? You just moved here from L.A. You lived in New York, correct? How was your place in L.A.? You lived in New York? Yeah. I understand you could see the Santa Monica appear from your place.

You lived in New York. I did. We just do this for the rest of the show. But you know how many, you know how many franchises are quote unquote, And professional sports. Oh, fucking lot. Most of them. Most of them.

Oh, fucking lot. And we only ever hear from like the New York people or, you know, the, the Philly people. And it's, and there are so many, France. Minnesota as a, as a state is like the most tortured sports state. Cleveland outside of like one, one stretch with LeBron. And there's no, like, yeah, the Vikings. What's going on in Oakland? The Vikings open week one losing to a Buccaneers team that everyone thought was going to tank.

Yeah. And Vikings fans like don't try to. to like get the rest of the country's attention and be like everybody look at us and how how but they're too nice new yorkers are just assholes anyway so i don't i don't do well with the woes me because like the the jets the the jets what was me shit would lead you to believe and and let's be honest a lot of the jets people are also the met's people and also like and it's just like and then we're they're nicks fans as well and you just you hear it over and over thank you for explaining to me that new york fans are new york fans there are a lot of teams in new yorks so

there could be jets fans who are yankees fans i think t j texted in our group chat last night But are New York City sports dead? Yep. Last decade, they've got 11 teams, zero titles. One appearance in a final. And that was the Mets in 2015. Again, I say, look up Minnesota, just like the last, like, 1,000 years of Minnesota sports.

It's 11 teams not having success. It's crazy, like, versus three or four. Also, the Jets fans celebrated last night like it was the Super Bowl, like winning the Super Bowl. You can't celebrate. You can't celebrate. And also, what was me? So like that's, it's just, I forgive them for that because they, it's too much.

Their whole season ended in front of their eyes. And no, I, and then they won. This is not in New York, by the way. This is in Chicago. Why is that in Chicago? This is last night in Chicago. There's a Jets Bar in Chicago. Yeah.

Tom lays in the background here. I understand. I understand the context of her brain. And I'm just like, I, I, I, I. So fuck all New Yorkers is what you're saying. No, I'm not saying fuck all New Yorkers. Most of them. I'm saying, um, the, I'm saying fuck all sports.

sports fans, I think that your misery is specific to just you. And like this isn't something that like every, like 90% of fan bases across the country, like I would cut my dick off. I would Mike Rable myself to win a Super Bowl. Most sports fans are miserable. Yeah, because they never win. There's only like five teams in any given sport to ever win. You have to be an Alabama fan or a fan of another good team.

But then anytime something bad happens to a team, the fans that are like, oh my God, this is us. This is so us. This is the most Jets thing to ever Jets. Can we possibly Jets any more than we're Jetson right now? You know, the cousin of that belief are the good teams that win championships that will then say, everybody doubted at us. Like, fans just come up with stupid shit all the time.

Yeah. More NFL stuff, though. So what was the theme of week one for you? It was kind of ugly. Yeah, it was preseason week four. It was, yeah, the under went 12 and 4 in these games. There wasn't a whole lot of scoring. I think touchdowns went their lowest total for week one in 10 years.

There was something, listen, the Dolphins Chargers games, game was fantastic. Last nice game was good. It wasn't pretty and it wasn't actually good football, but it was very entertaining. Intertaining, yeah. But the Dolphins Chargers was by far the most entertaining game in the week. There's just not a lot of it. Like the 49ers just kill the Steelers. Yep. The Eagles and the Patriots, that was a weird ass game too. Like the Eagles dominated until they didn't, but the Patriots still couldn't really do anything to them. Yeah, like weirdly the Patriots, like fans feel decent about that game, but they lost. Right.

And they were never really in it until the end, but Mac Jones is not good enough to lead you down to really get you close to scoring. So I don't know. The Patriots are a weird spot. The Eagles might be in a weird spot. The Niners are great. I think the Cowboys, if I'm ranking the happiest fan bases this week, Niners and Cowboys got to be at the top of the list. Yeah, every game felt like I don't know how to feel coming out of this because it was just kind of a, like the bills, jets. You're just like, what a weird game.

I don't really know what to make of this. Or it feels like an overreaction if you were to make something of it. Because, like, I don't want to get ahead of myself and say, I think the Packers are really fucking good. Right. The Bears just might, not might, they do. They suck. So what, like, what are the things that, like, you don't feel are overreaction?

The Niners are legit. Like, that's not an overreaction. I think the Cowboys are legit. The Cowboys defense is insane. Michael Parsons is as good a defensive player has been in a long time. I think he's the next Aaron Donald is the face of the league on defense. You know, I think the Dolphins offense, I think Tua, if Tua is healthy, he's a top five quarterback in the league, and he has proven that over and over and over.

This is not his first 460-yard game in the last year. That was kind of the theme for me, was that all the quarterbacks sucked except like Tua and Brock Purdy, basically. Yes, Jordan Love, I guess you should mention him, but. The fact that that sentence makes sense in the year of our Lord of 2023 is stupid. Every quarterback was bad, that's not true. I mean, Mahomes wasn't bad. His receivers.

Yeah, Mahomes, Burrow, Allen, and who was it? Mahomesboro, Allen and. Justin Herbert. Oh, and four. Yeah. Although Herbert scored 36 points. Yeah. So give him a little bit of credit.

Yeah. But yeah, it was ugly football, but. Do you think this is a guy? Because as you're watching Rogers go down, and that's probably it, you know, not going would. I mean, hopefully he comes back. I would love to see Rogers get one more year, but like, that's a tough injury to come back from a a 39 years old.

But if you're the Jets, you're built to win now. And I don't know what you do because you've got a guy who was number two pick, but you don't believe in him. He's not your guy. So what do you do? Do you try to roll the dice again? What if he gets hurt again in week one next year? Do you try to pull a guy out of retirement?

I saw the Philip Rivers in Tom Brady Photoshop. Carson Wins is on the table. Carson Wins. Why would Carson Wins be on the table for anything? Just saying. He's out there. Carson Wins is better than Zach Wilson. I saw the Brady thing.

And the Brady thing at least makes sense. He is 45 years old at this point. There's a QB right now in New Jersey. You took a team to a Super Bowl and an NFC championship. All right, Jamel. Calm down. Calm down over there. I wonder, though, this is an overreaction, I know,

but watching how bad the quarterbacks were in week one, I wonder if it's almost, again, I'm going to preface it. This is overreaction. but what else do we have to do after week one? I wonder almost if like we as football fans need to just readjust our expectations for quarterbacks because like the golden generation of the Mannings and Brady and Rogers now and Drew Breeze and Philip River like all these guys are gone and that's not to say there aren't good quarterbacks but it's like like Brady just completely fucked up the the

expectations for what a quarterback should be as far as team success. Peyton fucked it up in. as far as like statistics. Yeah. Rogers fucked it up as far as like just raw talent. And now we watch quarterbacks. So I don't think that's it. I think what has happened is the defenses have evolved to a level.

If the league stays the same way for a while, defenses are always going to figure it out and catch up. You know, if it was a running game, they would finally catch up. But right now I think defenses have perfected the blend of past rush, elite pass rush with cover skills, with going nickel pretty much all the time. getting pass rush and nickel coverage at the same time.

That's what the Cowboys were able to do. That's what the Browns were able to do to Joe Burrow the other day. And I think defense has caught up to offenses, and now there needs to be some evolution of offenses because everybody's pretty much doing the same thing. Try to get a good quarterback, let him throw to, let him throw 60% of the time and have success. And defenses have said, you know what?

I think we figured out how to slow that down. Yeah, get a, get a maniac pass rusher. Get one maniac pass rusher. Get about eight good defensive backs. and let's roll. Yeah. And that's kind of how they're playing defense. Yeah,

I mean, that's the jet. Quinn and Williams is like, you know, right, a monster for the Jazz. Michael Parsons, Miles Garrett for the Browns.

Chris Jones got his deal done. He did. Mississippi State, by the way. Yeah. Is he, is Chris Jones more of the, like who's,

who's the golden child? It's still DAC because he played quarterback. Oh, from Mississippi State? Yeah. Dack one, probably Jeffrey Simmons

two, Chris Jones three. Jeffrey Simmons gives back in Starful a lot. Oh, yeah. I got you. Yeah. Much like,

me. He gives a little bit more money than I do. He has a football camp. I just wonder the quarterbacks. Yeah, I wonder if, because if you pay attention to the way people talk about quarterbacks, you're led to believe that they're just simply no good quarterbacks to play this. And so at a certain point, it's like, are we going to do this every week where we're just like all these quarterbacks fucking suck or do we need to just reconfigure what it means to be a good quarterback? That's, you know, because maybe. Yeah. Maybe it's that. The short and preseason, too. I mean, the short three season, and like Burrow didn't play in the preseason at all. Like they're not ready to play.

So give it until week two or week three before we make a judgment. I have a quick question before we move on. What? What spirals better? Or what looks better when thrown as a 50-yard spiral, the NFL football or the college football? Now, a lot of people will say the college football because they have stripes, but I think there's nothing prettier than a perfectly thrown pro football. Yeah, the pro football, if you throw a tight spiral bomb,

it looks like, and you see like the slow mo, it looks like it's almost not spinning at all. It's just a football that's just floating in the air. And the stripes kind of distract from that a little bit. Yeah. They go into business for themselves. The only way the stripes look better is if you're really spinning it. And it makes like the perfect, you know.

Looks like those two white circles. Yeah. If you could see the gap, then I'm out. I think I'm going no stripes. All right. Read the ad. You're so silly. Cars.com is a leading digital marketplace that connects car shoppers with their perfect car,

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What car do you drive down here? I drove my 24 Jeep Wrangler You got a Jeep Wrangler To make this commute Mm-hmm Sure did That's what I want

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I know. You know what? but I don't care what you do Find your next possibility on Cars.com Where to go next Is that it for NFL talk? I think we can go to college

We can pivot away My final thought is just You know, it was sloppy but You're doing a final thought now, Jared's Brampton? Final thoughts Are you doing a final thought on every segment? Can you get the tagline of the ad right before you? Yeah, I tell you what, I would T.

I really would. Show one and Brandon's already going to piss off the sponsors Fantastic. Read that. Read the tagline right here. Okay. Find your next possibility on cars.com. Oh my God.

You're so done with these ads. You're so done with these ads. Where to? Where to? Where's two next? Where to next? Where does it say on that? I'll do it again.

T.J. Zoom in. Zoom in, T.J. It does say where to in Brandon's defense. But that's on me. First, first ad print of the season. But it says right above it, the call to action, find your next possibility on cars.com where to next. So I didn't see that.

It does say that right above it. I didn't see that part. Okay. College football. College football. All right. There are four topics in college football. I'm going to let you choose.

Texas, Alabama, Colorado, Mel Tucker. Mel Tucker feels like a danger zone to step into out of the game. Yes, it really does. That feels like a little too risky situation. He's never going to coach Michigan State again. but I think they're going to have one hell of illegal battle here. Yeah, this is going to be nasty. Very nasty.

Because he said, she said, and he's saying things, she's saying things, and Michigan State saying things. Bottom line, they're trying to get out of a $95 million. So, TJ, I said I didn't want to do Mel Tucker, and he just, like I said, you asked me which of the four I wanted to do. I literally said, let's not do Mel Tucker. And now we're in it. Since he's using TJ, I'm going to use you.

And now we're in it. He wasn't talking Mel Tucker. I was. Yeah, but you asked him. originally what do you want to talk about first? You said what topic do I want to start with? I said not Mel Tucker. Did TJ take his side or did why are you taking his side? Because I'm just stating verbatim what happened. He said I don't want to get into Mel Tucker. It's kind of muddy water right now. Mark, if you work with Brandon more, you'll find that he often asks questions or opinions not caring what your answer. Yeah, you don't listen. You don't listen. He's looking to send himself up. He's just waiting to talk. Texas is good. Texas is real. Let's talk about Texas. Let's talk about Texas. Let's talk about Texas. I want to talk that's what I would. I think Texas is national title good.

That's how good I think they are. Yeah. Alabama is not a bad football team and people are overreacting saying, well, the Alabama's down. Alabama's this. They're probably 11 and 1, 10 and 2 at worst. And Texas walked into their place and beat the hell out of them by 10 points. Yeah.

So Texas being back, the idea, the meme, the, you know, that's what we have to do if Texas gets the big win, all that sort of thing. This felt very different because it didn't feel like you were joking your way into the Texas's back. Correct. Like when Ellinger, it was Sam Ellinger that won the, what was it? Georgia and the Sugar Bowl. And the Sugar Bowl.

And he grabbed the mic and he's like, we're back. And he did that whole thing. That was like him trying to talk himself and the fans trying to talk themselves. And the way Texas was always going to be back was that they were just going to simply kick ass on a football field. And you just kind of like, it was like, it was like, I don't need to talk myself into Texas being back. It is right in front of my face. Yeah. This feels very different than all these.

other iterations of Texas being back. Well, there's no better way to announce your back or you're here than going to Alabama and beating them by 10 points. Yeah. Beating them by double digits. I don't like the, I don't like the, the Alabama hasn't lost a non-conference game at home since whatever, what year was it 2007? Yeah, they haven't really played one.

That's what I was going to say. It's like, who comes in here that's like, they've won three games that are, you know? They've played neutral site. They've opened with neutral site games, but they don't play a lot of home conference games. So they beat the shit out of, of, of, um, of, Southern Mississippi, middle Tennessee. Yeah, cool. The Citadel.

Listen, I think Quinn Ewers is going to be in the Heisman race all year. I think Texas is legit. But Alabama, I think they're going to be fine. I don't think they're going to national championship. But this does symbolize to me what 2023 college football is. I think the grip of the SEC is weakening on the country. And I think it's a national game again.

The greet is, but Texas is SEC now. They are. But for this year, for this year, I think this is a national game. I think you're right that you're like, it used to be the SEC versus like one or two teams from the Big Ten. But now it's gone national with teams like USC and Texas. You just start naming all, you just start naming all Big Ten and Big Ten and SEC.

Well, that's the unfortunate reality that we have in our face. But the last time the game was truly national was probably that Rose Bowl with Vince Young and Matt Leiter in them when it was Texas and USC. Because the year after that is when Florida beat Ohio State, And the SEC kind of took over for a while. You're right. But if you live, I'm not talking to you, I'm saying, you know, like when, if you remember, like, going through those years, in 06 and 07, there wasn't a sense that the SEC was like, like Ohio State. No.

Maybe it was just because I'm biased and I was, I was a student in Ohio State. But did you, you thought Ohio State was the best team in the year before Florida kicked their ass. I did. I was surprised when Florida. Yeah, yeah, right, right. And then the next year in 2007 was chaos. Neither of those teams should have been there. Yeah.

It was like neither of these teams felt like national title contenders. And then Florida beat Oklahoma and then we're off and running. Yeah. And that was, once that kind of happened, because after LSU beat Ohio State and Ohio State lost two national titles in a row, I felt like it was more like Ohio State can't beat the SEC. That was kind of the narrative that it formed. It wasn't necessarily that the SEC is dominant.

That Ohio State kind of sucks. And then, yeah, when Florida wins, then you're like, oh, okay, so the SEC's going to win every day. Well, I remember before Florida and Ohio State played, the big push was to get a rematch between Michigan and Ohio State. Ohio State had won that game. It was one versus two. They'd won it by three points.

It was a great game. 4239. Then that didn't happen. And Florida just changed the whole narrative and often running in the whole thing. Butterfly effect. What would it happen if Ohio State and Michigan? What does Ashton Coucher have to do with any of this? He was in that, right?

Yeah, but what's going on with that guy? Ashton Coocher? Yeah. Oh, him and his wife. Did like the Scientologist get to him? Like, what the hell is this? What's going on with Ashton Coucher? You see this?

Do you hear about it? this? Him and his what, they don't like this shower much. I think they reportedly don't show. Yeah, they don't.

Oh, okay. We know they don't shower. They've come out and said it. I'm pretty sure. I'll fact check it right now, but I'm pretty sure that they think. Milakunis in forgetting Sarah Marshall is one of the hottest women

in any movie. I'm sorry. She just is. What? What? Am I wrong? There's Cameron Diaz in the mask. And then there's Milakunis in forgetting Sarah Marshall.

We did a segment for Brady just called Am I wrong? Point out where I'm wrong. Point out where I'm wrong. He's just like, you know who gave me a huge boner? Tell me a hotter woman in a non-nude role than Milakunas in forgetting Sarah Marshall or Cameron Diaz in the mask. You just have a take that like no one's arguing against and like no one. Where am I wrong, guys?

Where am I wrong? You, I'd fuck Pamela Anderson for Baywatch. Am I wrong? Am I wrong? Just to add some context. This headline says Ashton Coucher and Milakunes say they don't believe in bathing. or themselves too much. So they do bathe.

What is too much? They've clarified. They do bathe, but. See, she watches daily and showers seldom. Oh, she washes her armpits and crotch. And nothing else ever.

What are you doing? I'm going to watch my crotch. This is, this is a misguided attempt to just be like the common folk, I think. I think this is like a, like a, what can I say that won't make me sound like a celebrity asshole? They're so out of touch.

They think that like regular people don't shower. Yeah. I have a concern, TJ. What's your concern, Brandon? Thank you. When we started this test the other day, that new studio countdown said 28 days, and now it's all the way up to 31. It's been moving during the show. Why is it moving the wrong way?

New information. We'd be getting updates from Pete. Real-time updates from Pete. Oh, did Pete check in on the show and see the number and realize that wasn't happening? If we cover the football national championship in our new studio, I will consider it a massive win. That'll be the win of the college football season. The reason we have the studio countdown is because this gray-ass wall here

is not going to be the home of mostly sports. It's going to be a nice, beautiful studio. But apparently we are adding days to that. This is like my commute. Russian prison, dude. Look at this. We're going to behead somebody in a minute. This is like my...

commute when I start and it's like an hour and then I look down about 15 minutes in and it's an hour and 20 that's what this is I I'm not kid my high school has their little what's it I didn't I never took this class what's the is it like the ATV class that's a that's a that's a V it's just a V a TV is an off road vehicle there probably is an ATV class in some high school dude I would take that class so fat uh my my high school's AV class has better set up this does look like the other side of the coach's office in a high school. Like where they just store stuff? There should be like Gatorade

coolers and stuff right here. One random dodge ball that got in there. Yeah. Last year's jerseys. Texas is legit. They are. Now, another thing. I got to get Brandon back on track.

You want the show to be silly. I wanted to. I wasn't being silly. You think I was being silly when I said Mealy Coonis was hiding for getting Sarah Marshall? I fucking meant that shit. That came from the heart. Um, Texas is legit.

You're not, you're not panicking on Bama. I'm not panicking on Bama. Are you panicking on Bama long term? Like the next five years of Bama. I think the gap has closed significantly. And I think it's very, very interesting that two years ago, NIL became a thing and everybody could start paying players. I think it's very interesting that Alabama and Clemson both are weaker now than they

were when it started. Once everybody could pay players, Alabama and Clemson got weaker. I don't know what that says, but it is, in fact, A fact. Now, also, not only, I don't know how strong or weak they might be this year, but Saban's got to start looking around, right? He's 70 years old. He's kind of start looking around saying, hey. What's your name? Miss Terry. He's going to step out on Miss Terry? He's going to, he's not stepping out. He's probably thinking like, all right, it might be time to get out of here. Man, 70-something years old. Is he wanting to rebuild this thing? Not that they need a full rebuild,

but he's not the elite that he was 15 years ago. Nick Saban back to Michigan State. How does that make you feel? confused is why we're going to spend 30 seconds talking about that. Right. Frustrated that I've got to stop. I need to see the Photoshop. I need to see the Photoshop. What would that look like?

Nick Saban in a Michigan State, in a Michigan State sweater or polo. Yeah, what do you mean? He's just going to retire? I don't think he can retire. Why couldn't he retire? Everybody can retire. No, Saban's not going to retire.

Dave Portno, I did it for three years. We have fun here. Okay. I'm starting to see why every show you're on. It gets canceled and you don't get the push. And yeah. You're like, I don't get it,

Mark. I go on the show. I shit on the founder of the company who controls all the... All the resources we get here. All right. Colorado, you want to talk about Colorado? I thought we were talking about Saving.

I wasn't done with that because I was curious. Well, Nick Savin knows where Colorado is. I was... We got the Photoshop. Oh, yeah. That's great work, T.J. That was fast. that makes sense to me

that looks good I think that looks good he looks younger that looks like it added some life to him he really does doesn't it he looks renewed refreshed

we got to get this get this his Lansing Tuscaloosa's aged him yeah you can talk about Colorado I feel like that's all you've done for the last no that's all everybody's done

everybody's talking about Colorado and that's fine I think Colorado is the story of the season so far I do wonder how long that story will last They're going to beat Colorado State this weekend. Then they got Oregon USC back to back, which if they beat Oregon, the USC game will be the most watch game maybe ever.

Like it'll be just gigantic. Yeah. But I just want to see how far it goes. Like I don't want people to be enamored with the Dion story. And then if they win six or seven games, let it fade or let it die on the fine. Like I think that's what they're going to win in six or seven. And that is a remarkable year for them. I don't think that's going to happen.

I think I think Dion's already won. And I think whatever. happens from here. No, if they lose to Colorado State, that's pretty bad. You can't lose to Colorado State at this point. Yeah, that would be tragic, yes. Yeah, if they go to a bowl, they win their bowl game, say. They're just in some like... I mean, year two

is when I think he joins national title contenders. Because he's going to bring a new wave of transfers in. He's going to have Shador back, assuming Shadur comes back. But you're right, the expectations have drastically changed in the sense that, like, I think most Colorado fans that I know going into this...

How many Colorado fans are going to be there? know a lot. My girlfriend's from Boulder, so jokes on you, you dumb bitch. I know a lot of, I thought I was calling your ass out. I know a lot of people that are. You'll see my eyes light up. I fucking got him. T.J, give me a point on the, put a point on the scoreboard for me. Thank you. Keep a score now. I am. Okay. Go ahead and, go ahead and give me a point there. Um, they, they rightfully were like, listen, we don't know what to expect here, but the fact that people are talking about Colorado in the off season, the fact that there's some juice to this program, the fact that people are going to be paying attention to us when we won one game last year,

That's kind of enough. After two weeks, I think they have shifted the expectations, obviously. And I am curious what the new expectations will be as the season progresses, where is there a world where Colorado goes eight and four, and Colorado fans are like almost a little bummed out by it because they started like six and oh somehow. And they had beaten USC and beaten Oregon. And then they kind of fall off.

That's just a weird. That's the weird part of sports fandom is you just talk yourself in circles as the way. Well, I think Colorado has already outgrown, they've outgrown that. Colorado is somebody that everybody in the country has an opinion on, not just Colorado fans. And Colorado fans, whatever they feel is whatever they feel. But now this is a national story. This is the biggest national story in college football right now, by far. And how far it goes is how, like Tennessee was the biggest story last year.

When they beat Alabama, they were not as big as Chicago. You just beat Alabama, or I guess Colorado would win major games. Texas is a big story. They won one game last year. They're over under was three and a half and they're already two and oh. And it's remarkable. Shadour Sanders is playing like a top five draft pick. Yeah, he really is.

He really is. That's the part that is, I think. I didn't know, I didn't know his game like that. I'm just going to be honest. I saw him at Jackson State. He never even put up numbers like this big at Jackson State. Yeah, that to me is like the thing. I mean, everyone's saying he's good and everything,

but like that's the, it feels a little like, I don't know if Mimi's the right word, but it feels a little like prisoner of the moment to just get excited about Shador Sanders. and I think for me at least I've seen enough to be like this guy is like not like unexpectedly good this guy's like actually fucking legit well there's nothing very very good there's nothing fluky about this man is like actually going to be very good he throws a beautiful deep ball he doesn't make mistakes he takes what the defense gives him like he he's

playing quarterback exactly how you want quarterback to be played I am curious Travis hunter how long he can you know play every single snap how how sustainable that is throughout the season But yeah, Colorado has been the expectation. Watching that progress throughout the year will be fascinating. Is Colorado cool to you? I think so. I think Dion's cool, right? Before Dion, just like in general.

If I said Colorado football. I've always liked Colorado football because I was 15 years old and 94 when they had the coolest team of all time. Right. They had Cordell Stewart, Michael Westbrook, and Roshan Salam, and they were the best video game team ever at that point. So I've always been cool with them. And they won the national title when I was 11.

So I like Colorado. As far as the Colorado Nebraska rivalry, Nebraska, my outsider view on the rivalry was always like, Nebraska is definitely the better program, definitely the better team. Yeah. But they're also boring. And Colorado is like the cool fun, you know, like Nebraska's running a triple option with Eric Crouch. And I'm just like, listen. I don't want to watch this. I get that you're good.

I respect you. I know you're going to win 62 to 7. Let's just get on with it. All right. with the busy fall season already in swing. Hold on. You're doing both ads? You fucked up the first one and you want to do the...

So the second printout also got fucked up. So I had another one printed out. So that's the... So tighties can do it if you... Oh, okay. You do it. No, no, no. If it's messed up, you do it.

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The prep sucks. And it also sucks when you're done eating and you got to do the dishes and you wash your plate or you put your little plate in the dishwasher and the fork and whatever. I have a wife. so I'm not familiar with what you're talking about go ahead and then you turn around and you have all the all the pots and pans and all the all the the cutting board you had to use the chop up area it's just like chaos in the in the kitchen

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And use code, we got a code. And use code mostly 50 to get 50% off. That's code mostly 50 at factor meals.com slash mostly 50 to get 50% off. TJ, are people watching? Yep. Good, good. I like that. You want to, uh, you don't want to name a dude or two?

Do you want to name some dudes? Yeah, let's name some dudes. BJ Sirhoff. Maglio or Donias? Matt Stairs. Jim Edmonds Ruben Sierra I want to need a second

Hold on I got to fan myself off What's the theme of this I don't know We're just doing baseball players I was doing outfielders Yeah Who's another

Kenny Lofton Ricky Laudey Okay all right you went Can I say Carl Everett Carl Everett Vladimir Guerrera No, you said I won. I know, but I'm...

And that's not really a dude. You won, but I'm doing the thing like NBA guys do when they have a shitty game shooting and then the game's over. You get some garbage time? No, they go back into the arena and get shots up after the game. That's me right now. I was trying to work on my game a little bit. Evo, what else we got? We got some baseball.

Baseball is still happening. Really? Why? I don't know. I guess you're still going. I don't know if you heard about this? I am. They expanded the season to 162 games.

So they go all the way into September now? What, 1960? I think so. Yeah. But yeah, Alec Manoa got an option down on August 11th by the Blue Jays. And per Jeff Blair of Sports Nation, he just didn't show up. I respect it. I have no problem with this.

I have no problem with this. He just didn't show up. Do they know where he is? I don't know. I don't say, do you know where he is? I said, do they know where he is? I don't know if they don't know where he is. Do you know where he is?

I know where he's not. Which is where their AAA team is? Yeah, in Florida. Right? I don't know. This is your topic. But apparently he's not throwing a. We'll work on this.

Wasn't Alan Noah good? Yeah, he's been sent. He's been optioned twice this year. He got sent all the way down to the rookie ball. Is it because he's fat? I mean, that's what, yeah, that's some people's hypothesis. Fat baseball players go. I think fat everything works.

I love a good fat basketball player. You don't see a lot of them. Yeah. I like fat everything. What except for. We're live, Brandon. Okay. Brandon, we're live.

Yeah. Sorry. This is the, what's the, uh, what's the, uh, the, uh, the, uh, the, uh, the, interview, it was with Shaq, right? Where a, uh, uh, Shaq's getting interviewed after the game and, um, the guy interviewing

him, God, I, I, I, I, I'm alive. Yeah, yeah, it's Jim Lampley, wasn't it? Jim Laam. Yeah. It might not have been Jim Lampley. She actually, these fucking refs are following it. I don't give a shit. Yeah, I don't give a shit. Jack, we're live, pal. I don't give a shit. That was awesome. What do you do when Shaq's angry? You just, you just let it happen, I think.

Was it Jim Lampley? I know, I don't remember. That clips on YouTube. YouTube, surely. Yeah, TJ, I'm going to need to see that. Surely that, yeah, here we go. That's definitely not Jim Lambeth. Officiating went down the stretch there, but you guys pulled it out and was a big win. Davis turned on the wide of the league is losing money.

That's why. People pay good money to come watch the athletes play and they try to take over the fucking game. Shack, we're on live. I know. Bessie goes, I know, I know. I don't give a shit. What a great, Bob. I respect it.

I respect it. I respect it. Envision a world, Brandon, where we keep this office. We open the new fantasy factory. They leave all the dipshits here. The cool kids get to go in the fantasy factory. And then, like, a year in, they're just like, Brandon, listen. Your numbers aren't great.

We're going to have to send you back to the shitty office. And I just don't know. You wouldn't show up. I wouldn't. I'm not going back. I'm just, I'll find a new job. that night. I'm out of here.

I would be in Mississippi by the end of that day. Yeah, I respect it. I respect it. No, I just, so baseball, right? You mentioned it's still going? Yeah.

But we have anything surprising or shocking in baseball? I mean, we pretty much know our playoffs, right? There's not the, the, the AL Wild card.

Everybody makes the playoffs. Yeah, the Wild Card. The NL. Wild Card is pretty crazy. Is it? I think it's pretty good. Cubs are in as of now?

Cubs are a couple games in, yeah. Okay. The Cubs feel, they're still like a pipe dream of winning the division. They play the Brewers. We should go to that, actually. Is it here?

To end the season, when I say here, that could be either Milwaukee or Chicago to me. Yeah, exactly. They close the season playing in Milwaukee like three games, I think. And so, like, basically, if they're within three games in Milwaukee, you go into that series, they could. Then they're playing for the division. They're playing for the division, yeah, to end the season.

Yeah, but the wild card, they've expanded the playoffs. I don't know how I feel about that, by the way. I mean, it's too much. Yeah. It's too much. To me, growing up, you had, you had, it was two division winners, two division winners, and then they added the wild card, and that was okay. You had four and four.

Now it's what, six and six? Six and six, yeah. I think four and four is enough. Yeah. But they're just going to keep expanding. You know this, right? To what? I don't know.

Oh, when Nashville gets a team? Yeah. Would you rather? No, I mean, like, they're going to keep expanding the playoffs. I don't know. going to keep like yeah they're going to allow there's going to be 20 teams are you are you scared of a 96 team NCAA tournament what are you scared of a 96 team oh 90 I thought I was thinking to 1996 I thought that is one Mississippi State might be final four that's what I thought you're

saying I thought you're like are you scared of the 996 expanding to 96 teams uh whatever it is it's going to happen that's going to suck there's nothing well here hold on hold on let me push back on this before you before you go on whatever spill you're going on how is more basketball bad. Because I believe that humanity's one major perfect accomplishment is 64 teams in the NCAA tournament. I don't know why,

but it's absolutely perfect. It brings in, you have the favorites, you have enough mid-majors, you have enough small teams, you have enough of a mix where the 64 team format is perfect. Right, and we don't have that. So I guess that's my point. It's like it's already... 68. But it's 64.

But that's what I'm saying. So for the record, I am very anti-expansion. do not want it to expand to 96, but all you have to do is just simply not watch until it gets to the round of 64. Well, I don't want to not watch. I want it to be 64. I need to be perfect. I must watch.

I need things to be as they've been my whole life. I don't need things to change. I also think just let every team in. That's what, because I see that's the, that's like the onion take where, you know, like there's the headline that let 500 teams in or, and then people are like, well, why don't you just let, you go from Indiana, though. Do they still do that? Is it still the Open Indiana basketball?

No, they ended that in the 90s. Oh, really? But that would be... I'm only off by 30 years. Yeah, you're slightly off. But they did it in Hoosiers. Yeah, that was correct. The film that was set in the 50s.

Is everybody growing up there believe they're going to be in the movie Hoosiers at some point? Correct, yes. Your life is going to be the plot of the next Hoosiers? Yes, yes. You spin the ball to yourself on your farm and you catch and you shoot. And Jimmy Chitwood did not miss in that scene, by the way. No, I know. Yeah.

I know. Well, he missed at the very end. That's true. Yeah, so I guess after the coach walked off. I just said

was wrong. It was actually wrong. We have breaking Aaron Rogers news. Okay. All right. What happened? He's in the chat.

He said I'll be back week four. Oh. Oh, nice. Damn. All right. Shit. So week four,

I don't know who they play, but there, there you go. God damn it? What happened to the studio countdown? It went from 31 to 34. Um. All right.

You want to wrap this up? I have hats. You want to pick a hat for shenanigans? No, we're not finished. We've got to go to 10 o'clock. No, I'm not trying to be done. I'm trying to wrap it. I'm trying to just kind of like, I'm trying to just ease into the end, you know?

I'm trying to like get a little. Hold on, TJ's got hats. I got four hats from the party star. I wanted to see your thoughts on them. Okay. Go ahead. So you want to explain what we're doing with these? Yeah, so TJ, when we were planning out ideas for the show,

TJ just became obsessed with the idea of drawing stuff out of a hat. I think this is, what is this our version of the wheel? kind of. It was just kind of like, we need a randomizer. Yeah. What is our randomizer? I don't know, TJ. And punishments and all this kind of stuff, right? Yeah.

These are the hats to heat. We were, we were just. You take a bag and I'll take a bag. We were brainstorming ideas. Brander was like, I'm going to be a big dumb idiot. That's what I do best. And then T.J. is like hats. And then we're like, TJ, you keep saying hats.

What do you mean? And he's like, I just want to draw stuff out of hats. All right. And we're like, well, let's see what it looks like. So we could do like a hat for like places to go and film videos. Or a hat for videotop. Here's the first hat. Just your standard Indiana Jones type.

Is that a fedora? Yes. Yeah. It's a fedora. I don't know if this hat's big enough. Yeah, I don't know how many things you can put in there. Things you can fit in there. Okay.

What that hats on. This hat is big enough. That's my favorite one. The top hat. It's going to be hard not to go with the top hat. It's the top hat. Although, how many hats are in here, DJ? Four.

Um, you have a massive head. My head's too big. My head is size eight. I can't fit and do anything. Your size eight? Size eight, yeah. You went to Spirit Halloween? They still, oh, I still, I guess this calendar turned back around.

Now that's almost Halloween. I was like, it was like May. Yeah, it makes a lot of sense. It makes a lot of sense. Oh, all right, well, I guess, you guess Halloween stuff would be. That one, that one. That one.

That one's great. So, what? What are we going to do? We're going to draw shit out of... This hat doesn't go that deep, though. If you look at it, it actually, it stops right here. It doesn't, it stops like right there. Is that where the rabbit is? Yeah, so you have to, like, punch through and grab the rabbit. If they're...

Tj, if there were a rabbit in there, that would be awesome. A live rabbit that would just pull out of this hat. You ever eat a rabbit? I have, actually, yeah. It's not bad. Yeah. It's not good either. No. Did you see that, uh, what, the orangutan that threw a possum?

Did you all see that? There's this video of this orangutan throwing a pussom. Possum. This is silly. So this is my tryout for silly season, right? This is silly season. So you saw it? Yeah, yeah.

I sent it to TJ to pull up. I think he's got it. Headline is orangutan evicts invading possum. Have you seen it? So, CJ, show me the, watch this. What is going on right now? Look this. There's a possum up there and he threw it.

He threw the shit out of it. The report said the possum was okay. seen Look at that. Possum is not okay, dude. He threw the fuck out of that possum. Proportionally, that's like a 500 footfall. Possums are strong animals.

Are you like me when you go to the zoo? You could just sit in front of, I'm going to fuck up this, the designation of what apes and, like the primates. Yeah, the primates. Do you just sit in front of primates? I don't care what primate it is.

I go straight to the monkeys, buddy. Yeah. I just want to see. I want the ones that are up tall, just swinging around. I want to see them. I want to see them bad. I do like the long-armed guys that are swinging.

And those videos that I always see on Twitter or something of people like doing magic tricks for the monkeys or doing these things. What's the news are y'all going to? Because I can never get that close. The guerrillas are fun, but up to a certain point because the guerrillas are kind of boring. They'll just kind of sit there. But then also. Most of the animals are kind of boring.

But not the swinging monkeys. And the monkeys start scratching their ass and sniffing it. That's funny. Are they scratch their ass and make their buddy smell it? The big cats are always boring. Like the big cats just lay around like cats and just group up together. Big cat kind of stinks. The guerrillas, though, get depressing because you start to just stare at them and you're like,

that's kind of just like a human being almost. Yeah, that could be me. You just see, like, the guy just, yeah, this has like a sad look. Although I'm, the gorilla has a sad look. I would trade lives with a zoo gorilla right now. Just be able to sit and chill in the sun all day, get your food thrown to you. How do we think the first show went? I think I was good.

Was it silly enough for you? I'm wearing this hat, but what does that tell you? I did a good job today. So I think this is the hat we draw stuff out of. I think that hat you keep under the desk. It's the break glass in case of emergency. If you feel like the show's not silly enough,

you just grab the hat and you throw it on, and then you're going to win everybody back. How much older do I look in this hat? You look like a or like a 12-year-old, like homeless. Oh, like Kenny Rogers. Okay. All right. Um, I think, I think we need for our first show. We need something to, to go viral. We need to like definitively go viral somehow. And I was trying to think of how we could pull this off.

I have a few different ideas. You mentioned a slur. Yep. Um, let's draw out of the hat and see which one of us should. Say the slay the slay the, slay the, slay the, slay the sir. We're going to slay a sir. I have a separate slur hat that's full of this. Yeah. Well, I brought that from my house. Right. I do think, I mean, jokes aside, in all seriousness, saying a slur would go viral. It would. I think, I think if we, if one of us, if we paper scissors rock, rose little Rochambeau. No, that's not how you say that. Paper scissors, what are you guys to say?

Wait, rock, it is rock paper scissors. Keep this shit on your other. Keep this dumb shit on your other shows. I don't have a hat on anymore. This is, this is too silly. This is too silly. The way you said it was silly. That's your fault. Paper, scissors rock. Everybody says it like that. That's outrageous. Nobody says it like that. Then you went to Roe-Cambot. Rock.

Cissors. Yeah, it's rock. It's rock paper scissors, right? Paper, scissors, what's the difference? There is none, but it's all three. When you're throwing,

what do you say? Paper, scissors, no. No shot. No shot. You say one, two, three, shoot. Or, babe, I don't know.

We can end the show. Ian Rappaport confirmed torn Achilles out for the season. Yeah. I confirmed last night when I was when I was zooming in on. Wait a minute. Aaron Rogers was lying in the chat.

He lied in the chat. He really is a piece of shit, man. So you don't want to do a slur. I didn't say that. We could. I also had an idea. One of us just pulls our penis out live on the air. I think.

How good are those cameras? Nothing. I think that clip, I mean, as weird as it sounds, I do think that, like, if dudes were sending out links, they were like, watch this Brandon Walker pulled his dick out. I think if, if, you. dudes are getting that text. They are clicking.

As much as they want to pretend like they won't click the link, everybody's clicking that link. We could also stage that. If we just had the camera on Mark and the caption was Brandon Walker just pulled his penis out. And it's just Mark like screaming and crying.

What the fuck is that? I thought we could also stage a fight. Like we, I think like... Oh, that'll probably happen eventually eventually. So I wouldn't worry about that. Like a W, like, yeah. I just tackle you. I would love.

love to be able to hit one of these guys just for no reason yeah what else are they here for connor's taking his headphones off can i hit can i punch you in the chin and not i don't know about the chin well that i can okay it's not as good but it's it's better if like connor says something and then you take offense to it and punch him because then it's like then we can tweet out the the video right just say like whoa things got heated in episode one yep if connor just yeah uh all right I guess I could come out as gay. Is that? That's not exactly breaking news, is it?

No, well, I mean... You keep suggesting this, by the way. I know, right? You always, you keep bringing this up. I think it would work. I'm not going to come out as gay today. I think we could... We could do the mean girl's thing

where one of us just says something... I got to get divorced? That's not fun. God, because God, God bless her. One of us just says something outrageously. dumb to where yeah like people just want to dunk on us at how stupid we are yeah um maybe we can just end the show yeah brainstorm for tomorrow all right all right all right that's the show that's the show thanks