Motley Fool Hidden Gems Investing - Apropos of Nothing: Best Side Dishes, Movie Sequels, and Memorable Wedding Receptions

Episode Date: November 24, 2022

Today we’re taking a break from investing and finance. If you’re looking to kill some time, have a listen to this motley array of nonsense! (1:45) Chris Hill, Bill Barker, and Bill Mann discuss: - What should be on the “Mount Rushmore of Thanksgiving Side Dishes” - Where we would go if we were in the Witness Protection program - Pro sports mascots to represent Team USA at the World Cup - Movie sequels and characters we’d like to see more of - A wedding reception that went viral Host: Chris Hill Guests: Bill Barker, Bill Mann Engineer: Dan Boyd Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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Because we have your number. Chris Hill. We're celebrating Thanksgiving with a little bit of nonsense. Apropos of nothing, starts now. I'm Chris Hill, and let me say right up front, this is not the typical episode. No stock talk, no investing analysis. This is Apropos of Nothing, an episode where me and a couple of other longtime fools get around a table, pour ourselves something to drink, and have a good time talking about random topics. And today, it's things like, what sports mascot should represent all of America? What movie characters do we want to see more of? And if you had to go into the Witness relocation program, where would you go?

and what would you do for a job? I know a lot of you right now are dropping out and moving on to another podcast. No hard feelings, I promise. But if you're looking to get a little break from some members of your family, if you're looking to kill a little time as you travel, if you're far away from your family and friends and you're just looking for some familiar voices to help you pass the time, then come hang out with me, Bill Mann, and Bill Barker. If you have listened to apropos of nothing episodes that we've done in the past, you know we've discussed various Mount Rushmores related to eating. Things like, what would we put on the Mount Rushmore of soups or the Mount Rushmore of greasy foods? Since today is a holiday, I figured we should start

the conversation with the Mount Rushmore of Thanksgiving side dishes. This might be the easiest one. The least contentious. Is there anyone who's against stuffing in mashed potatoes? The primary question to me seems to be, is it possible to go with four different variations of stuffing for the Mount Rushmore? Does anything else crack stuffing's four best versions? What are the four best versions? I just have the sausage one. I've had a cornbread wanted in the past. What are we doing? What other ones are there? Are we throwing this out here now, or are we saving it for the show? I think we're doing the show right now. I don't know if you've been on this podcast

before, but this is all happening. OK. Fair enough. We do have our headphones on. I still feel like mashed potatoes has a place. Sure. Does gravy count? Gravy's a condiment. Gravy is not a side dish. Not unless you treat it as a side dish. How would you look at someone who showed up at your Thanksgiving dinner and they just poured themselves a hot cup of gravy and they're like, this is my side dish. I'm just going to drink this. Impressed. A little bit! I'd want to hang out with that guy, because, let's face it, it is a guy.

100% it's a guy! There's no way a woman is doing that. No. The problem, I guess, the main problem with putting gravy on the Mount Rushmore is carving it into the granite. How do you represent that in rock form? What is that? That's gravy! It doesn't look like gravy. What is that, John Adams? What is that? Say what you want about Ma Rushmore. We know who those four people look like. That's right. What else you got? Green beans? No, I would go stuffing, mashed potatoes, I would go mac and cheese. And, cranberry relish is popular at the Thanksgiving.

In Massachusetts? Yeah. Yes, shocker! Everywhere else. I would almost specifically say, it's the cranberry that keeps the form of the can that it's been in. That cranberry aspic. Yeah, that's a classic. It is a classic. Also, to the point we made earlier, much easier to render on the mountain than cranberry sauce. Yeah, but that's not the point of a Mount Rushmore. It's not our job to make the sculptor's job easier. Let's leave that to the artists. Let's leave that to the professionals.

I just feel like the whole thing reduces itself to spam from Monty Python, where they start talking about, there's spam, eggs, bacon, and toast. Can I get that without eggs? And then, there's just spam, spam, spam, and bacon. Stuffing just keeps adopting that role of spam in the top four, until it's all four. Stuffing, the fact that I only have it once a year, that's on me. That's a mistake. You've been known to get a little testy about not enough stuffing at a Hill family Thanksgiving. There was one Thanksgiving. I am going to suggest.

But people still talk about it. Is it still a piece of family lore, your reaction to not getting enough stuffing? I don't think so. I think there was just an adjustment made. It wasn't just like, oh, I didn't get stuffing. It was that a good number of people who got stuffing and then were looking forward to seconds. I also had them on my side because they were like, wait a minute, there's not enough stuffing for seconds? And I was like, yeah, not only that, I didn't even get first. And they're like, OK, well, settle down. So, yeah, we adjusted. We course-corrected the following year and every year since. What about for the Mount Rushmore?

Because I think it is one of the very few marshmallow-based foods, the sweet potatoes with marshmallow. You're just making something up. No, I'm not! Is that a regional thing? I don't know! Regional within your household? No, I've been to potluck dinners where that's shown up. There are only two things that are made with marshmallows, and that's Rice Krispie treats and s'mores. There is no third thing they're used for. Fluffernutter? Fluffernutter.

My gosh! Well, that's its own food. It's its own food group. I do like... that is magical argumentation. There are two things made with this. Well, what about that? Oh, no! No! That's not made with that. That is that! Because implicit in saying that is, The person who raised it was like, what about this third thing? It's like, you're not thinking creatively. You're thinking two-dimensionally. What's wrong with you? It's just this undercurrent of insult that goes along with it.

Like, no, no, I've thought this through. We put top men on this, and it's its own category. Right. Which, I would buy. There aren't that many marshmallow-driven savory dishes, though. Not that sweet potatoes are savory, but they're not not-savory. No, but the big marshmallow needs to get working on that. Right. They've lost, basically, the Jell-O, marshmallow, ambrosia-type stuff. That's back in the shag carpet age at this point. Yeah. And it comes out every once in a while, but it's like, sorry, you're still a niche food.

Have you ever been through a 1960s recipe book with some of the things that were made with gelatin? Oh, yeah. Oh, gosh! And it's just, you know, it's... Chef Boyardee Jell-O mold! And for all we know, that represented the best mass-market thinking of the time. They may have been like, no, this is how we do it. You're welcome, everybody, here's this recipe. This is oat! Yeah. Alright, can you pass that bottle that's in front of you and move on to the reader questions? Thank you, by the way, for the... Have we introduced it?

By all means. Who is this episode brought to us by? It is brought to us by Dead Rabbit Irish Whiskey, which is a super-premium whiskey. You were over there. I was over in Ireland, and I was delighted to bring it back. And only then did I discover that they have a New York outpost. Oh, my God, this is so smooth! It is so smooth! And it's only five years old. I'd never heard of this before you brought it back. Not today, but we're going to need more of this. Not today. Today, we may end up with an adequate amount.

Don't need more than one bottle for the three of us. It's like 12.15 in the afternoon. But what is time, really? Can you move on to the reader questions here? You've got some listener questions. You've got some good ones. You asked for them, and remarkably, people listened to what you were saying, which is news to me. Right! I didn't realize one needed to do that! Can we just back up? For those that haven't been around for this kind of thing before, we've discussed that the theme for this show, not just this show, but most of our conversations with each other, is affectionate hostility. So, yeah, why don't you get to the point?

Here's one from Christy. Love this idea. Again, we put out, we're looking for topics that aren't investing in business. Unfortunately, some people sent e-mails with, why don't you talk about this business? Christy gets it. She wrote, through no fault of your own, you must go through the Witness Protection Program. No social media, no self-promotion. Totally go gray man. Where do you relocate, And what low-key, mundane job are you doing?" And I love that she just led with, this is not your fault. Right. You're no fault of your own. However, probably a mental exercise we've all done at one

point or another. Yeah. Just like, OK, what if it came to that? Yeah. There's another reader question where it is our fault that we're in a predicament. We'll get to that. We'll get to that one. But we're going to take a couple of detours before we get there. Where would you go? Both questions are great. I was able to lock in on the mundane job earlier. I'm still not clear on where I would go, but I'm presuming it would have to be out of this time zone. It would have to be somewhere in the Midwest, the West Coast, something like that.

Yeah. Well, I think one of the things you have to take into consideration is, presumably, you're not traveling alone, right? You're going with your spouse. Presumably, yes. So, you have to take that into consideration. Whereas, you might have certain choices. They have to be weighed. That changes a huge amount of my consideration. You literally hadn't thought about that part at all. I know. I'm really sorry. I know this is a hypothetical. In my attempts to be funny, I didn't think about the fact that you might need to come along.

Yeah. So, where were you going? I was going to go to Northern Michigan. Why can't you bring her? She would be the Asian community of Northern Michigan. It would be easier to find you through her. I'm presuming. You're hiding in plain sight here. It's Trevor Noah's bit that he does about Idris Elba being the next James Bond. Right, exactly! Of course Idris Elba could be the next James Bond. And then it's like, oh, wait, James Bond is from Scotland, and he's a spy. And if Indra Selva is James Bond, it would be like, oh, there he is!

What's Marissa Tomei's line from My Cousin Vinny? Yeah, you blend! Shoot! And that is not to make any commentary, but someone would notice. Yeah, because that's the thing. Also, I'd go looking for you there. Presumably, we're on the hit squad, you and I, tracking him down. Where are we going to look? Northern Michigan is one of the places, because you're always going there. I do. I do. I love it. Michigan is low-key one of the most beautiful states in the country. And every time I say that, my friends from Michigan always say, that's because you come here in August. But I still 100% believe. Right. Go back in January and let us

Yeah, just fill his head. But, you know, he's not wrong in thinking about... Really? Yeah. It gives me no pleasure to say that. But he's not wrong when he says, you have to keep a low profile. Hence the question. You have to have a low-key, mundane job. There's no social media. You're keeping a low profile. So, that's why I was able to lock in on, like, a dishwasher. I'd be a dishwasher somewhere. I'm in the back. I'm not really interacting with customers. I'm just washing dishes. Now, where that is, I mean, it's not Northern Michigan, but, you know. Well, someplace we wouldn't look for you. Although, if you went to Maine,

it would be hard to find you. There's a lot of moose. There's a lot of wild animals. It's hard to find people there. And you? I think I'd be a dance instructor. Bill Barker has described himself as a surprisingly good dancer for a very long time. Again, the question is, mundane job? I've never been a dance instructor. I don't think I know any. It doesn't strike me as a mundane job. Really? Yeah. A dance instructor strikes you as high-profile? Yeah, I think so. Why? If you're good at it, do you know any?

No. There you go. I feel qualified to be a dishwasher. I've put you on your heels here. I wasn't expecting dance instructor, I'll be honest. Again, I would do a good job as a dishwasher. Tell me why I'm hiring you to be a dance instructor in my studio? Here's one of the advantages. I wouldn't have many students. No, you would not. I need to maintain a low profile. So, there wouldn't be, like, oh, everybody's heard of that guy, right? He'd have a different name. He doesn't look like he could probably

dance or instruct. So, I'd just be hanging around a lot, and people would knock every once in a while. I'm thinking they're taking lessons, and they'd meet me, and they'd be polite about it, but then they'd go look somewhere else. That's some third level thinking right there. I'm going to go work in an ice cream shop in central Tennessee. Like, Murfreesboro, Tennessee. A medium-sized, smallish town where I do something that is... you know, you go into an ice cream shop. You're not the focus. The ice cream is the focus. It's always. Always.

Over time, don't you become gigantically overweight and draw attention to yourself? I mean, you're working in the ice cream shop. That's not very nice. I'm just saying, anybody, right? No! Anybody with, say, my level of self-control, working in an ice cream shop, eventually is going to be like, wow, did you see what happened to that guy? Have you ever worked in a food environment? Have you ever worked in fast food? Here's the thing, and I really do mean this, after a while, and it doesn't take very long for most people, the food that is there is

no longer a drive for you. It's not that attractive, and I don't care what it is. I think you're not making very good ice cream. I think I'm making great ice cream. But it can't be great, great ice cream, because I need to be working at a middle-of-the-road ice cream place. Speaking of ice cream, I don't know about you, but it's been months since I've seen chocolate sprinkles on the shelf at the grocery store, and I'm starting to get concerned that there's a global shortage. You got a conspiracy theory for that? I don't know. Big chocolate is finally trying to take down.

Maybe it's Big Marshmallow is trying to inflict some pain into some other parts of the industry. I've got a related question, which is, asked early on if you had any hot takes on the multiverse or AI or the metaverse, anything in that category. I don't. You don't? Great question! Really great question! I don't. So, in the multiverse, infinite number of universes out there, and in some of them, rather than being exactly as you are, you're incredibly tall, taller than my new pole or something like that. And some, you're growing up in Asia. There's an infinite number of

varieties of yourself. But I understand, and in many of these, by the way, I'm a pretty good dancer in many of these. But I think it's already been mathematically proven that there is no version of me in any universe that can be where I can sing. So, you're saying, gun to your head, gun to the heads of your family. An infinite number of me. And you're in a karaoke bar, It's like, you've got to sing one song, or say goodbye to your family, and you're like, I guess I'm saying goodbye to my family. No, they're like, oh, that guy is trying to sing. I can try to sing, sure. But there's no version in the multiverse where

somebody would say, oh, that guy's singing. Yeah, he can sing. There are versions of me where I can do every other thing, but just not that, which I think is a challenge to the whole concept of the multiverse, because of the infinite possibilities. But I think it's been mathematically proven by top men. Some of the folks at MIT got top men at MIT have established that it's a major challenge to the theory of the infinite. Before the folks at University of Alaska Anchorage did that scientific research on alcohol tolerance in hamsters. They tackled the multiverse question. We'll get to that. I mean, that thing is amazing.

That thing is just amazing. I was blown away by that. I think that you are underestimating what infinity means when it comes to the multiverse. Yeah, it's like more than 100. Right, exactly. In an infinite amount of multiverses, in some of the multiverses, you are only slightly different. Maybe your eyes are better, or something of that nature. Or you're good at real tennis. You actually, like the rest of the world, like cheese on burgers and things of that nature. But in other ones, as Chuck Klosterman said, the world is ruled by robotic wolves that feed on liquid cobalt. So, yes, I think that it is possible in one of these infinite multiverses.

I think this has been looked at. In some of them, I'm like, I'm Spider-Man. Getting Neil deGrasse Tyson on the phone! Born in the 1700s. Every other variation. But, like I say, top men have looked at this, and it's a real challenge. Another question from a listener identified only by the letter E. That's actually me from the Witness Protection Program. My job is to write listener questions. If you can't write your whole name, we're skeptical. You better bring it with the question. I'm assuming E is in a position of high authority, much like M in the Bond movies. E writes, you guys are stranded on a sailboat in the middle of nowhere.

Sounds good. Who would you blame for being in this situation? I think we're blaming you. Absolutely! We all agree that somehow you're the one. It may not have been your idea to, like, hey, let's go on the boat. But in the middle of nowhere, it's like, oh, yeah, come on. It was your idea to go at night after finishing off this bottle that's in front of us. The rest of us had a normal idea of going out on the boat. I will say this about me. This is why I unfortunately have to agree with you. I have an unbelievably great sense of directions. You can drop me down someplace,

and I tend to know where I am going. But when it lets me down, it lets me down so catastrophically, so hard, because it doesn't occur to me until way too late that I really have no idea where I'm going. I don't know, maybe it's not great for this conversation that we just all agree with me and move on, but 100% what has happened is that I've looked at like, oh, that's Mars, We'd go that direction, and it turns out that was neither Mars nor the right way to go. And you all have trusted that we're in the 99% and not in the 1%. Yeah, that's just a flashing red buoy on the shores of Mars. It's like, look, it's red! It's a planet! It's awfully low!

And flashing! Maybe Mars is trying to tell us something! In his defense, though, minor defense, it was after we polished off this bottle. We listened to him. What does that say about us? It really was the getting on the boat that was the original problem. Let me throw this one out here. Those who choose to listen will be listening. The ones who are left? Yeah. After the Men's World Cup has started. And so, just like the Summer Olympics and the Winter Olympics, there is a mascot for

the World Cup. But I was thinking through, what if it was like college sports and each team gets to bring their mascot? So, here's the scenario. We get to bring a mascot to represent Team USA. But it has to be an existing mascot from one of the major professional sports. Existing or one that has ever existed? You know, it's apropos of nothing. As the judge would say, I'll allow it. This pains me slightly as a fan of Boston sports teams. I think I'm going with Gritty. I think Gritty from the Philadelphia Flyers, representing Team USA, I think that would represent America well. I was taking this a little bit more

literally as to the mascot. If you're bringing a mascot to represent the United States, obviously, you're bringing an eagle. But what I'm thinking of is the eagle from Lord of the Rings that Gandalf flies around on and is 60 feet wide. A magical super eagle. Because that would help you win some soccer games. He's just perched there on the stadium, Every time the other team touches the ball, it just makes the eagle noise, and they're worried. Gritty is a great mascot. Full-stop, instant-hit mascot. If you go back in time just a little bit, I would suggest maybe the San Diego Chicken might be the one that we... It's more representative of America?

It's maybe a little more representative of America. I don't know if you remember this, but there became this mascot one-upsmanship. After the San Diego Chicken became just famous for being a mascot of whatever... It started with the Padres, didn't it? Yeah. The Yankees actually had a mascot called Dandy. How long did that last? Three years! Nobody remembers that. Three years! It looked like Thurman Munson, but it was a large, pinstriped bird that looked like

Thurman Munson. And Bill Barker, our resident Yankees fan, is currently looking this up. I'm not. I refuse to believe this ever happened. I listened to the Yankees by radio back then. So, you didn't see? We didn't waste time on Phil Rizzuto, who would talk about everything but the baseball game, never talked about the mascot. Well, that's probably why it only last for two years. If you lose Phil Rizzuto and the Yankees organization, you've lost the whole organization. Maybe this is what's important about Dandy, is that Dandy was meant to represent the Yankees, and therefore, the United States of America. But who would not

be terrified of a giant pinstriped bird that looks like Thurman Munson? On a related subject. There's no subject related to that! Yeah, there is. I dare you! We've often talked about the attractiveness of thinking about the different buddy cop scenarios, CEO buddy cops. But is there some mascot buddy cop movie you'd like to see where there's some mismatched mascots, but they solve crimes? Yes, they're mascots, but they also solve crimes. And they don't necessarily get along with each other at the beginning. At the beginning. Eventually, they come to have a begrudging

respect for one another. Exactly. In this scenario, who's the captain? In the buddy cop movie, there's always the captain who's demanding, like, I need some results, the mayor just chewed me out, that kind of thing. I need your badge on my desk, that kind of thing. Also a mascot? I'm assuming it's another mascot. It's Oscar the Grouch, I think. He could do that. He's not technically a mascot, but he can fill that role pretty good, right? Sure. Yeah, he's a grouch. He's a grouch. That's part of the truth.

We just need to get him to be the mascot of what? I'm tempted to go in terms of mismatched mascots in terms of skill set. Maybe you've got the Marilyn Terrapin. Very slow, obviously. Presumably thoughtful, intelligent. I don't know. Are turtles supposed to be smart? I'm confusing them with owls. Let's get the world's smartest turtle and the world's dumbest owl in the room and see what happens. Why don't you just fill that glass up a little more before you gain any more coherence? You don't need to say. Making too much sense.

I'm going to say at least one of them should be Chomps the dog, which is the Cleveland Browns dog mascot. He seems like he could solve crimes. Yes, yes. But he also seems like he's going to do a lot of other things before he gets around to solving the crime. Chomps the Dog, based on the Dog Pound, which is the mayhem part of the Cleveland Browns fan base, and I'm assured there is one, I feel like that's at least half of it. Who were you matching up with? You had one. I think the Maryland Terrapin, maybe with something fast of some sort. Some sort of roadrunner? Some sort of roadrunner. Some sort of cougar,

leopard, mountain lion. Something that doesn't eat turtles, let's start there! Yeah, that would be a conflict. You're taking a Zootopia angle on this. Yes. Although, it does remind me that there are teams out there that have basically abandoned their team name in favor of something else. The Denver Nuggets, their mascot who shows up in the arena is a mountain lion. Oh, OK. I think. Because I think the Nuggets, that would be an unbelievable mascot. No, it's a mountain lion who just runs around and is more friendly than, presumably,

a gold miner from the 1840s. The gold miners, when you think about classic gold miners from mythology, you really think about Yukon Cornelius, right? Silver. He's a silver miner. That's canon! He's a silver miner. Wait, but the song about silver and gold, which follows his adventures, right? That's true. He's aware of the existence of gold. How great would that be? And peppermint. What he was actually mining for was remarkably peppermint. We're getting into the territory.

We're getting off-subject, off-topic here. Really, that's something we should be exploring at the next Apropos of Nothing in December. We were accidentally on topic. I may actually say, when you talk about mismatched buddy cops, I also think you maybe need to think about what teams really dislike each other. I'm doubling down on my Cleveland Browns mascot, the dog. Match him up with Steely McBean, a Steelers mascot, and they hate each other. They absolutely hate each other. But they can't solve crimes without each other. Different skills. Different skills. One's got a giant steel beam he carries around for the mayhem.

Let me guess, he's the bad cop in the bad cop scenario? It seems like he'd like dogs, though. That's the problem. Not a dog from Cleveland! Not a Cleveland dog. No! Alright, so, movies. I'm changing topics here, for those who couldn't tell. I picked that up when you announced movies! Movies! Go! Something at least 20-25 years old that you'd like to see a part two. Oh, wow! Or it could be a prequel. I want to spend more time with these characters. You want to spend more time with

these characters, you want to know either more about what happens after or what happened before or something along those lines. Man, I've got a two-parter, but go ahead. No, no, go. He's stalling. Dan's going to come in with something here. Dan's going to come in and win. Dan's too young. He didn't see movies 25 years ago. No, but he's ... I'm not that young. You're younger than people in the movie. I'm almost 40. But he is, yeah, you are that guy. So, you weren't seeing R-rated movies 25 years ago. Probably not. I would like to know, ultimately,

one of two things. What happened to Prince Humperdinck? And what happened with Westley and Buttercup in The Princess Bride? See, I don't know. A sequel to that would just be, make your case. Humperdinck? Humperdinck and the albino flea? Seems perfect. Do we want to go back there? Trying to make a comeback? They didn't battle to the pain. He's coming back. That's the sequel. The sequel is like, Princess Bride 2, Humperdinck's Revenge. Yeah. I feel like that would at least generate more box office success than The Princess Bride did. That is a lower hurdle than you might think. Yeah. No, that is one of those

beloved movies. It's one of those movies that people are like, what do you mean it didn't make a lot of money to box office? Right. Three weeks and it was done? No, it really didn't. I feel like Princess Bride. I have seen Princess Bride. I don't know if that's part of the Dan's super young over here, but I have seen that film. There was, actually, I'll go to this off mic. You've seen that, but what have you got? Do you have anything in the movies you want to see a part two or a prequel? No, not really. I'm not a big fan of prequels or sequels, to be honest. I'm fine if a good story is just a good story. I don't know,

maybe my mind doesn't work like a movie studio producer and trying to, you know, Dollar signs for eyes over here. If there's a good story and it ends, like, OK, let's get another good story going. We don't have to expand upon this. It's like, no, no, we need to expand upon it, and we need adorable creatures to sell for merchandise. Yes. That's what we need. Or as Michael J. Fox said, the title of Back to the Future 2 was Back to the Bank. Back to the Bank. Back for more cash. That's a great example, though. That seriously is a great example. Back to the Future,

self-contained, is one of the best movies of all time. The sequels are fun, don't get me wrong, but they don't do anything to make the first movie better. No. They could have been good movies, because you wanted to spend more time with the characters. Yes. But the way they did it just It wasn't a very successful execution. To Dan's point, the fact that so many movies, so many original movies, not based on source material, but so many original movies, when the actors sign the contract to be in the movie, frequently there is a clause that essentially binds them. If we're coming back, you're coming back.

for two more movies. I remember, my daughters went to see Pitch Perfect 2. I was like, how was it? And they're like, it was pretty good. And one of them said, I hope they're not going to make Pitch Perfect 3. I was like, they are 100% going to make Pitch Perfect 3, because the first two made enough money. And that's just how this goes. I couldn't watch any of those movies. My skin legitimately tried to crawl off of my body as soon as they started singing in those films. I couldn't deal with it. Too cringy. Too much a cappella? I mean, a cappella is potentially the most embarrassing thing somebody could possibly do, so, yes, too much.

More than mime? No, yes, more than mime. A cappella can bother you from the other room. That's so great! One of the greatest Motley Fool moments in the office. I'm going to tell a story. I don't know if it's ever been told outside of these walls. Dan, make a mark. We're going to edit this out. Maybe. No, this is actually just funny. Well, you might get a certain set of people like this. We'll change that. OK, that's fine. I know the story. Bill Barker made a throwaway mocking line about mimes. This was back in the days when everything was written.

When everything was in an article. Yes. And we got this multi-paragraph response from a mime saying how mimes are disrespected, how he did not expect this from The Motley Fool, that we should be better than this, on and on and on and on. And Bill Barker's response was pretty wordy for a mime. I was going to say, what, he didn't leave a voicemail? Do you remember what you wrote that resulted in this person's... It was just an aside. It wasn't even a clause. It was like, so-and-so, you can make fun of this, one of the few things you're still allowed to make

jokes about other than mimes. Something like that. It was like the French. You're absolutely allowed to make jokes about the French. And Mime America was not pleased. Have you topped? I'm going back to the movies. What's your idea? I'm sorry, that just reminded me of the great line in Spinal Tap. Mime is money? Yeah, they're at the party where mimes are the way to tap. It's like, let's go, come on, keep moving, push the product out there.

Let's go! Mime is money! Mime was Princess Bride. I've got more! Here's my response to going back there. The story is, boy meets girl, boy loses girl, boy gets girl back. That's the end of the story. The problem with going past boy gets girl back is, it's very difficult to tell something interesting about a happy couple. You've got a middle-aged Fred Savage reading a story to his kid. So, you just want to have a sad version of the go-back. By the way, you're making it clear why you have. Nowhere in the multiverse is there a version of you that's a movie producer. You're just like, I get that this is going

to make money, but I just don't think artistically it works. It's like, OK, guess who's no longer running a movie studio? There are many versions of me in the multiverse that have no ethics or artistic sensibility. Including this one? Yeah! Just not in this segment of this one. So, here are a couple of ideas. Characters I'd like to see more of. Dirty Rotten Scoundrels. I wouldn't mind them up to more hijinks. Part two. I don't particularly care what the story is. Didn't care about the first one. Right. Did they win or lose at the end? it doesn't really matter. You do have a little bit of a risk of that

being The Hangover 2. The same exact movie, but somehow not charming. Except there wasn't that much money in it the first time. And Steve Martin would have more artistic control. I would hope for better. I do wonder if that movie benefited from when it was made. Let's move off of movies and move to sitcoms. If you just think about the escalation in successful sitcoms about people who are not particularly redeemable. You start with Seinfeld, and then you move to... It's always sunny in Philadelphia. It's always sunny in Philadelphia. And then, whatever Larry David wants to do. But that goes on for decades.

Right. But I'm just saying, in the same way that in the horror movie genre, there are things that are commonplace now and have been for decades in horror movies that were completely original in the first Halloween movie. Young fans of horror movies, when they watch Halloween for the first time, it doesn't have the same effect because it's like, oh, well, they're just doing it. It's like, no, this invented all of these tropes, the villain who's not actually dead and all that sort of thing. So, I don't know that Dirty Rotten Scoundrels would have the same bite in this decade as it did 35 years ago. Alright. Tell me what you think of this, because I'm not sure about it, but it might be good.

The usual suspects. I'm not going to give no-spoiler-alerts here. Kayser Sose is not done. Here's the thing. We don't really know, maybe, anything about Kayser Sose. True. So, a prequel could be any story you wanted. Like, Kayser Sose, you could go everywhere on that one. Yeah, you could. You've been in a lot of places, Bill, but you finally did bring some value to this topic. That's a good shout. The narrator is somewhere between 100% unreliable, but maybe there's something in there that is related to what you would

cover in a prequel. And if we take the narrator at, let's just call it 50% face value, you've got a really dark prequel there. You're going to visit some dark places. So, this is one of those, like, OK, is this a series? Is this an HBO Max thing where it's like, there's a lot of blood in this one? There's a lot of murder, a lot of killings. You love killing. Although, the actual violence in the movie was not particularly graphic. In The Usual Suspects? Yeah. I mean, there were some gunshots. There were some gunshots. No, it wasn't... The burned guy was a little rough.

The burned Hungarian guy in the... Look, compared to what they put at you on HBO nowadays, it's not exactly Game of Thrones in terms of the graphic violence. But, I mean, you can go there. Look, Kaiser Sose might have a few things in his past if he even existed. Are you familiar with Craig Mazin, that name? No. He's a writer and a director. He did one of the most incredible right turns for a career that I have seen. He was responsible for such deeply valued productions like Scary Movie 3 and Scary Movie 4, and Hangover Part 2 in Hangover Part III, not Hangover Part I. And then, after Hangover Part III, he wrote Chernobyl.

Oh, really? Yes! If that's your background, if that is your CV, is someone saying... Scary Movie III, also Chernobyl. That's right! Wow! Well, he dealt with the horror a little bit. He did. He did. So, he knew something about that. Yeah. I just don't see what is in that background that suggests, oh, he's going to treat Chernobyl, and people who were from the Soviet Union at that time are going to look at it and say, that production nailed everything.

Do we give all sorts of props to writers who are writing about something that already happened in the real world? If they write about it well. I think if they write about it well, yeah. He didn't come up with that story on his own. No, he didn't come up with Chernobyl on his own. That thing happened. Yes, it did happen. But where he really, really captured things that were a surprise, even for people who knew the story, is that he was really able to capture the internal politics in the Soviet Union at the time that prevented people from doing the right thing up and down the line. It was, to me, one of the most terrifying productions I have ever seen.

And, to your point, it was historical. All right. Well, thank you for that explanation. To that point, Dan, what is the film writing that you particularly enjoy, respect, admire? because I don't peg you as someone who necessarily is a huge fan of world-building in the way that... Because he's a nihilist? What is this? No, no. World-building can be tough in movies, especially in a feature film where you've only got around two hours to do something. I don't know. I generally like stories that are not too... I actually think our Kaiser Soze, Unusual Suspects, is actually a very good example of really, really strong writing because it doesn't take time to explain a whole lot.

It just lets the viewer make the connections in their own brain. And then when you get to the point of that movie where things are a little bit spelled out for everybody, it's a big, like, holy smokes moment. And I think, when it comes to a visual medium like that, yeah, don't explain stuff. I always hate it when a movie starts with voiceover and text, and they're just spelling it out for you. I think that's the laziest thing a movie can do. Star Wars. Star Wars. You know about that, though, right? You know about why Star Wars starts with a crawl? No, why? Because, this is in the HBO documentary

about Steven Spielberg. Early in the documentary, it goes into the relationship he has with other young up-and-coming directors, George Lucas, Martin Scorsese, Brian De Palma, and they're competing with one another, but they have respect for each other and they want opinions. So, Lucas has a rough cut of Star Wars and shows it to the three of them, and then they go out to dinner. There's a lot that's unclear, not just because there aren't special effects. So, he shows it to them, they go out to dinner, and Brian De Palma is just knocking back glasses of wine. Lucas can tell that his friends are not being completely straight with him. They're like, no, it was good, I liked it. And finally, Brian De Palma just

explodes in the restaurant at George Lucas. He's like, what the hell is going on? What is this? Is this a war? Is this about religion? He's just unloading on Lucas. And Lucas is taken aback a little bit and explained to him, well, no, there's this empire and there's a rebellion and the religion thing. And he's explaining all this stuff to De Palma. And De Palma just looks at me and goes, none of that is clear! And Lucas starts to panic a little bit, because he's like, we've already done all the shooting, what do I do now? And De Palma's like, you should just do like they did in the 30s and just have a crawl.

Just tell people right at the outset what's happening, because that's the only way you're going to fix this, because I have no idea what's going on in this movie. And it just makes me love that. Now, whenever I see the opening crawl on any Star Wars thing, it just makes me think of that. I mean, the crawl, though, OK, maybe it started off as a funny thing like that, sure. But you look at the last three Star Wars movies, and it's a crutch. It is a crutch. They used that thing.

They brought Emperor Palpatine back in the crawl in the last movie. You know what it would have been cool to see in a Star Wars movie, gang? Emperor Palpatine coming back. That might have been something cool. They'll get to it. They'll get to that in a Disney Plus series sooner or later. I would have loved one of those crawls to start with, like, OK, here's the thing. Palpatine. If those are the actual words, OK.

Disney Plus, Palpatine. We're going to find out how it happened. So, I threw something out a long time ago. Threw out again last night. So, there was this couple. They had a wedding. And some of the attendees at the wedding were disappointed that there was no food or beverage at the wedding. And the wedding host had spent the money that otherwise might have gone to Food & Beverage on having Mickey Mouse and Minnie Mouse at the wedding. Because the wedding was at Disney, right? No, they were just big Disney fans. And I'm not judging. You remember this. Yes, you are.

You remember this. Again, through no fault of your own, you're not able to have food and beverage at your wedding. You've got to buy 100 people. Say there's about $180 per person for food and beverage that you would have been able to allocate, about $30 for food, $150 for alcohol. So, you got $18,000 to play with here on something that you're going to have at your wedding that you're going to be able to defend for the rest of your life. You came here to my wedding. As you know, through no fault of my own, I was not able to have food and beverage at my wedding, but that money went to this cool thing. What do you got? But just to be clear, it was through their fault.

We're not throwing this couple under the bus. This couple that we don't know and is not listening to us right now? No. I feel pretty confident saying, no. That's totally their fault. They didn't replace it with cholera. They made a conscious decision. We could spend money on food and beverage. Instead, we're going to spend it on Mickey Mouse and Minnie Mouse, because we're big Disney fans. We told everyone ahead of time. When I saw that, I thought, if I were friends

with those people, I'm not entirely sure I would go to their wedding. Or I would go to the wedding and just be like, alright, let's go out to dinner. I'm not going to a reception so I can see Mickey Mouse and Minnie Mouse. Nobody tuned in or is still listening to this podcast to hear you trash some unknown couple who like Mickey and Minnie Mouse. What they want to know is how you would have adopted this situation and produced, out of this tragedy of not having food and alcohol, something decent. So, basically, it comes down to, you want people to walk away saying, that was worth it. What'd you do this weekend?

I went to this wedding. Here's the thing, at the reception, there was no food. A common question is, open bar? No, there was no open bar, there was no food. But, as they did have... As you recall, there were vending machines at the wedding. Right, exactly. Which is, no defense whatsoever. I don't know. That hit me on a gut level. You've still never been able to move past it. Well, yeah, because I grew up in the school of, no, if you're throwing a party, you give people something to eat, and you give them something to drink.

Now, it doesn't have to be filet mignon, and it doesn't have to be Dom Perignon champagne, but you've got to get stuffing. Stuffing, I mean, heck of a way. It's like George Costanza. If I show up with Ho-Ho's and Pepsi, people are thrilled. Dan, any thoughts on what would make you come away from a wedding reception and tell me on a Monday, like, what'd you do this weekend? You're like, I went to this wedding, there was no food and beverage, but holy cow, they had fill-in-the-blank. So, here's the thing. I think that the gift that this couple is giving all of their guests is the lifelong ability to talk about the worst wedding they ever went to.

to whine about their first-world problems. I went to a wedding, and I had to buy my own food. Here's the thing. All of us are reacting in the same way to this story, which is of horror. Especially if this couple didn't tell people in advance that there would be no food or beverage, but Mickey and Minnie Mouse were going to be there. I don't know, y'all. That's bad. To me, I could, and you guys know me, I'm a little bit of a complainer, I could complain about this wedding for the rest of my life. Without even having been there, you might be able to complain about it. No, but to his point, it's like,

oh, you know that internet meme that went around? I was there. I was there. That is the gift. That's a pretty good gift, I think, actually. I know that this couple probably didn't plan for that, because that's, I don't know, metagaming unbeknownst to anyone. But I think it's pretty remarkable. It is pretty remarkable. To stay with the principle of this story, I think it's got to be some other form of entertainment that costs $18,000, but that the reasonable guest would think is pretty cool. It's like the Rolling Stones were playing. Yeah, but they'd be $500,000. Easy. Howard Jones you could get for $18,000,

And anyone who's anywhere close to our age would be, hey, you know what? That's pretty great! I don't even know who Howard Jones is. Life in One Day. You got Ricky Jay to walk around and do some close-up magic for everybody. Yeah, close-up magic from Ricky Jay. We had somebody at a party that we were at do close-up magic. Yes, and we had no food. It was not worth $18,000. And also, that party had no food.

That's true. Wasn't that a fool party? Yes, we're not complaining, people who organize parties for The Motley Fool. It is just that mistakes were made. Food's more useful than clothes. I mean, it's got to be some 80s or 90s star, Debbie Gibson, happy to be asked, $18,000. Yeah, it's got to be something that you can walk away with. But what are you going to do while Debbie Gibson is up there singing whatever song? You've got vending machines! No. Ultimately, Dan nailed it. It comes down to the story.

It's not going to go well. What's the best story to tell people? So, it's either, we were at this internet meme wedding, or it's, here's a photo of me and fill-in-the-blank person. Could you get the entire Brady Bunch for $18K? I don't think so. Aren't some of them dead? Well, then they don't cost anything. That's perfect! Much like the immortal Ricky Jay. No longer with us. I really feel like it's a has-been musical star that people would be excited to have seen, even under the circumstances. Like Bruce Springsteen?

Yeah, it's got to be a story. Still going to be more than... No, I'm kidding. He said has-been, I believe. That was the joke! You can't go to the back row of a Springsteen concert for $18K. That's right. He's not a has-been, he is an is-be. Try getting a ticket for $21K to one of his shows. I hope they didn't pay $18,000 to have Mickey and Minnie there. No, no, no. It was less than that. But I'm trying to work with a little bit bigger budget so that we can get something better than Mickey and Minnie. Like, oh, well, I

got H.R. Puffin stuff there. Again, I don't think you're breaking the bank for H.R. Puffin stuff. Wait a second. If you had H.R. Puffin stuff at your wedding many weddings these days it would be so much better than mickey and minnie so much better