Motley Fool Money - Apropos of Nothing: Best Side Dishes, Movie Sequels, and Memorable Wedding Receptions

Episode Date: November 24, 2022

Today we’re taking a break from investing and finance. If you’re looking to kill some time, have a listen to this motley array of nonsense! (1:45) Chris Hill, Bill Barker, and Bill Mann discuss: - What should be on the “Mount Rushmore of Thanksgiving Side Dishes” - Where we would go if we were in the Witness Protection program - Pro sports mascots to represent Team USA at the World Cup - Movie sequels and characters we’d like to see more of - A wedding reception that went viral Host: Chris Hill Guests: Bill Barker, Bill Mann Engineer: Dan Boyd Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Hi everyone, I'm Charlie Cox. Join us on Disney Plus as we talk with the cast and crew of Marvel Television's Daredevil Born Again. What haven't you gotten to do as Daredevil? Being the Avengers. Charlie and Vincent came to play. I get emotional when I think about it. One of the great finale of any episode we've ever done. We are going to play Truth or Daredevil.

What? Oh boy. Fantastic. You guys go hard, man. Daredevil Born Again, official podcast Tuesdays, and stream season two of Marvel Television's Daredevil Born Again on Disney Plus. Thanksgiving with a little bit of nonsense. Apropos of nothing starts now.

I'm Chris Hill, and let me say right up front, this is not the typical episode. No stock talk, no investing analysis. This is apropos of nothing. An episode where me and a couple of other longtime fools get around a table, pour ourselves something to drink, and have a good time talking about random topics. And today it's things like, what sports mascot should represent all of America? What movie characters do we want to see more of? And if you had to go into the Witness Relocation Program, where would you go?

And what would you do for a job? I know. A lot of you right now are dropping out and moving on to another podcast. No hard feelings, I promise. But if you're looking to get a little break from some members of your family, if you're looking to kill a little time as you travel, if you're far away from your family and friends and you're just looking for some familiar your voices to help you pass the time, then come hang out with me, Bill Mann, and Bill Barker.

If you have listened to Apropos of Nothing episodes that we've done in the past, you know we've discussed various Mount Rushmore's related to eating. Things like, what would we put on the Mount Rushmore of soups or the Mount Rushmore of greasy foods? Since today is a holiday, I figured we should start the conversation with the Mount Rushmore of Thanksgiving side dishes. This might be the easiest one. The least contentious, because is there anyone who's against stuffing and mashed potatoes? The primary question to me seems to be, is it possible to go with four different variations of stuffing for the Mount Rushmore? Does anything else crack

stuffing's four best versions? What are the four best versions? I just have the sausage one. I've had a cornbread one in the past. Yeah. What other... What are we doing? I'm just, what other ones are there? Are we throwing this out here now, or are we saving it for the show? I think we're doing the show right now. I don't know if you've been on this podcast before, but this is all happening.

Okay, fair enough. We do have our headphones on. Yeah. I still feel like mashed potatoes has a place. Sure. Does gravy count? Does gravy count? No, gravy's a condiment. Gravy is not a side dish.

I mean, not unless you treat it as a side dish. How would you look at someone who showed up at your Thanksgiving dinner and they just poured themselves a hot cup of gravy? And they're like, this is my side dish. I'm just going to drink this. Impressed. A little bit. I'd want to hang out with that guy, because let's face it, it is a guy.

It's 100 percent. It's a guy. There's no way a woman is doing that. No. The problem, I guess, the main thing is a guy. problem with putting gravy on the Mount Rushmore is carving it into the granite, right? I mean, how do you represent that in rock form? What is that? That's gravy. It doesn't look like gravy.

What is that? John Adams? What is that? Say what you want about Mount Rushmore. We know who those four people look like. That's right. But what else you got? You like green beans and like that stuff. I would go stuffing, mashed potatoes, I would go mac and cheese, and cranberry relish is popular at the Thanksgiving. In Massachusetts. Yeah.

Right. Yes. Shocker. Everywhere else. I would almost specifically say it's the cranberry that keeps the form of the can that it's been in, like that cranberry aspect. Yeah, that's a classic. It is a classic.

also to the point we were made earlier, much easier to render on the mountain than cranberry sauce. Yeah, but that's not the point of a Mount Rush. It's not our job to make the sculptor's job easier. Let's leave that to the artist. Let's leave that to the professional. I just feel like the whole thing reduces itself to like the spam from Monty Python, where they start talking about, there's like, spam, eggs, bacon, and toast, you know, and then spam, spam, can I get that without eggs?

And then there's just spam, spam, spam, and bacon, you know. And so stuffing just keeps adopting that role of spam in the top four. Yeah, no, stuffing, the fact that I only have it once a year, that's on me. You've been known, you've been known to get a little testy about not enough stuffing at a Hill family Thanksgiving. one Thanksgiving. I am going to suggest. But people still talk about it.

I don't know. Is it still a piece of family lore? No. Your reaction to not getting enough stuffing? I don't think so. I think there was just an adjustment made, because it wasn't just like, oh, I didn't get stuffing. It was that a good number of people who got stuffing and then were looking forward to seconds.

I also had them on my side because they were like, wait a minute, there's not enough stuffing for seconds. And I was like, yeah, not only that, I didn't even. get first. And they're like, okay, we'll settle down. So, yeah, we adjusted. We course-corrected the following year and every year since. What about for the Mount Rushmore? Because I think it is one of the very few marshmallow-based foods. The sweet potatoes with marshmallow. You're just making something up.

No, I'm not. Is that a regional thing? I don't know. Like regional within your household or what? No, no, no, I remember I've been to like potluck dinners where that's shown up, but I've just sort of thought, oh, okay. There are only two things that are made with marshmallows, and that's Rice Krispy Treats and s'mores. There is no third thing they're used for. Fluffer nutter. Fluffer nutter.

My gosh. Well, that's its own food. That's its own food. I do like, that is magical argumentation. There are two things made with them. Well, what about that? Oh, no. No. That's not made with that. That is that. Because implicit in saying that is, the person who raises, what about this? Third thing? It's like, you're not thinking crevially.

You're thinking two-dimensionally. What's wrong with you? It's just this undercurrent of insult that goes along with it. Like, no, no, I've thought this through. We put top men on this, and it's its own category. Right. Which I would buy. There aren't that many marks. marshmallow-driven, savory dishes, though. Not that sweet potatoes are savory, but they're not not savory. No, but the big marshmallow needs to get working on that. Right.

They've lost basically the jello, marshmallow, ambrosia type stuff. That's back in the Shagg carpet age at this point. Yeah. And it comes out every once in a while, but it's like, sorry, you're still a niche food. Have you ever been through like a 1960s catalog or a rest of the time? book with some of the things that were made with gelatin? Oh, yeah. Oh, gosh.

And it's just, you know, it's... Chef Voyardy Jello Mold. And for all we know, that represented the best mass market thinking of the time. That may have been like, no, this is... Oh, no. This is how we did. You're welcome, everybody. Here's this recipe.

This is Oat. Yeah. All right, can you pass that bottle that's in front of you and move on to the reader question? by the way, for the... Have we introduced it? By all means. Who is this episode brought to us by? It is brought to us by Dead Rabbit Irish Whiskey, which is a super premium whiskey.

They actually have... You were over there. I was over in Ireland, and I was delighted to bring it back, and only then did I discover that they have a New York outpost. Oh my God, this is so smooth. It is so smooth. And it's only five years old. Yeah.

This is, I'd never heard of this before you brought it back. And yeah, that's, that is... I mean, not today, but we're going to need more of this. Not today. Today, we may end up with an adequate amount. We don't need more than one bottle for the three of them. It's like 12.15 in the afternoon. Yeah, but what is time, really?

Right. Can you move on to the reader questions here? some listener questions? Because you got some good ones. You asked for them. And remarkably, people listened to what you were saying, which is news to me. Right. I didn't realize one needed to do that. Can we just back up? For those that haven't been around for this kind of thing before, we've discussed that the theme for this show, not just this show, but most of our conversations with each other, is affectionate hostility.

Yes. So, yeah, why don't you get to the point? So here's one from Christy. Love this idea, because again, we sort of put out like, hey, we're looking for topics that aren't investing in business. And unfortunately, some people sent emails with, why don't you talk about this business? And Christy gets it, because she wrote, through no fault of your own, you must go through the Witness Protection Program.

No social media, no self-promotion, totally go gray man. Where do you relocate and what low-key mundane job are you doing? And I love that she just led with, this is not your fault. Right. If you're no fault if you're on. However, probably a mental exercise we've all done at one point or another. Yeah. Just like, okay, what if it came to that?

Yeah. There's another reader question where it is our fault that we're in a predicament. Right, yeah. We'll get to that. We'll get to that one. But we're going to take a couple of detours before we get there. Where would you go? Because both questions are great, and I was able to lock in on the mundane job earlier than

I was. I'm still not clear on where I would go, but I'm presuming it would have to be out of this time zone. It would have to be somewhere in the Midwest, the West Coast, something like that. Yeah. Well, I think one of the things you have to take into consideration is, you know, presumably you're not traveling alone, right? You're going with your spouse.

Presumably, yes. So you have to take that into consideration. Whereas you might have certain choices. That changes a huge amount of my consideration. You literally hadn't thought about that part at all. I know. I'm really sorry. I know this is a hypothetical.

In my attempts to be funny, I didn't think about the fact that you might need to come along. Yeah. So where were you going? I was going to go to Northern Michigan. But, you know, I think that... Why can't you bring her? She would be the Asian community of Northern Michigan.

It would be easier to find you through her. I'm presuming. I am presuming... You're hiding in plain sight here. It's Trevor Noah's bit that he does about Idris Elba being the next James Bond. Right, exactly. And just sort of like, what do you mean? Of course Idris Elda could be the next James Bond.

And then it's like, oh wait, James Bond is from Scotland. Right. And he's a spy. And of Indriselba, James Bond, it would be like, oh, there he is. What's Marissa Tomey's line from my cousin, Veni? Yeah, you blend. Oh, yeah, you blend. Shoot.

So, yeah, and that is not to make any commentary, but someone would notice. Because that's the thing. But also, I'd go looking for you there. Presumably, we're on the hit squad, you are, like tracking him down. Where are we going to look? Are we? Northern Michigan is one of the places where, because you, You're always going there.

I do. I do. I love it. Michigan is low-key, one of the most beautiful states in the country. And every time I say that, my friend from Michigan always say, that's because you come here in August. But I still 100 percent believe. Right.

Go back in January and let us go here. Just fill us in. But he's not wrong in thinking about, like, how, yeah. Okay. It gives me no pleasure to say that. He's not wrong when he says, you got to keep a low profile. Hence the question, you have to have a low-key, mundane job. There's no social media.

You're keeping a low profile. So that's why I was able to lock in on like, oh, dishwasher. I'd be a dishwasher somewhere. I'm in the back. I'm not really interacting with customers. I'm just washing dishes. Now, where that is, I mean, it's not Northern Michigan, but, you know. Well, someplace we wouldn't look for you.

Although, if you went to Maine, it would be hard to find you. There's a lot of moose. There's a lot of wild animals, and it's hard to find people there. And you? I think I'd be a dance instructor. Bill Barker has described himself as a surprisingly good dancer for a very long time. So, again, the question is, mundane job. I've never been a dance instructor.

I don't think I know any. It doesn't strike me as a mundane. job. Really? Yeah. A dance instructor strikes you as high profile? Yeah. Why? If you're good at it. Do you know any? No. There you go. And I feel qualified to be a dishwasher. I've put you on your heels here. I wasn't expecting dance instructor. I'll be honest. I, again, I would do a good job as a dishwasher. Tell me why I'm hiring you to be a dance instructor in my studio. Here's one of the advantages. I wouldn't have many students. No, you would not. I need to maintain a low profile, so there wouldn't be like, oh, everybody's heard of that guy.

Right? He'd have a different name. He doesn't look like he could probably dance or instruct. So I'd just be hanging around a lot. And people would knock every once in a while. I'm thinking they'd taking lessons, and they'd meet being like, eh. They'd be polite about it. but then they'd go look somewhere else.

That's some third-level thinking right there. I'm going to go work in like an ice cream shop in Central Tennessee. Okay. Like Murfreesboro, Tennessee. Like a medium-sized, smallish town where I do something that is, you go into an ice cream shop. You're not the focus. The ice cream is the focus. Always.

Over time, don't you become gigantically overweight and draw attention to yourself? I mean, you're working in the ice cream's job. That's not very nice. I'm just saying anybody, right? No. Anybody with, say, my level of self-control, working in an ice cream shop, eventually is going to be like, wow, do you see what happened to that guy? Have you ever worked in a food environment?

Have you ever worked in fast food? Here's the thing. And I really do mean this. a while, and it doesn't take very long for most people, the food that is there is no longer a drive for you. It's not that attractive, and I don't care what it is. I think you're not making very good ice cream. I think I'm making great ice cream. But it can't be great, great ice cream, because I need to be working at a middle-of-the-road ice cream place.

Speaking of ice cream, I don't know about you, but it's been months since I've seen chocolate sprinkles on the shelf at the grocery store, and I'm starting to get concerned that there's a global shortage. You got a conspiracy theory for that? I don't know. Big chocolate is finally trying to take down. Maybe it's Big Marshmallow is trying to inflict some pain. That's where they're starting.

Other parts of the industry. I've got a related question, which is asked early on if you had any hot takes on the multiverse or AI or the Metavert, anything in that category. I don't. You don't? Great question. I'm a really great question. I don't. So here's the, so in the multiverse, right? Infinite number of universes out there,

you know, and in some of them, you know, rather than being exactly as you are, like you're incredibly tall, like taller than my new pole or something like that. And some, you're, you know, growing up in Asia. And there's an infinite number of varieties of yourself, right? Okay. But I understand, and in many of these, by the way, I'm a pretty good dancer. And in many of these. But I think it's already been mathematically proven that there is no version of me in any universe that can be where I can sing. So you're saying gun to your head, gun to the heads of your family. An infinite number of me. And you're in a karaoke bar. It's like, you've got to.

to sing one song or say goodbye to your family? And you're like, I guess I'm saying goodbye to my family. No, they're like, oh, that guy is trying to sing. Oh. I can try to sing, sure. But there's no version in the multiverse, I think, where somebody would say, oh, that guy's singing. That guy, yeah, he can sing. Like, there are versions of me where, you know, I can do every other thing, but just not that. which I think is a challenge to the whole concept of the multiverse because of the infinite possibilities. But I think it's been mathematically proven by top men. Some of the folks at MIT got working on this.

Top men at MIT have established that it's a major challenge to the theory of the infinite. Before the folks at University of Alaska Anchorage did that scientific research on alcohol tolerance and hamsters, they tackled the multiverse question? We'll get to that. I mean, that thing is amazing. That thing is just amazing. I was blown away by that. I think that you are underestimating what infinity means when it comes to the multiverse.

Yeah, it's like more than 100. Right. Exactly. In an infinite amount of multiverses, in some of the multiverses, you are only slightly different, right? Maybe your eyes are better. Or something of that nature. Or, you know, you had... Or you're good at real tennis. You actually like the rest of the world like cheese on burgers and things of that nature.

Right. Right. But in other ones, you know, as Chuck Closterman said, you know, the world is ruled by robotic wolves that feed on liquid cobalt. Right. So, yes, I think that it is possible in one of these infinite multiverses. No, I mean, I think this has been looked at. And some of them, I'm like, I'm Spider-Man.

Getting it in Neil deGrasse Tyson on the phone. You know, born in the 1700s and every other variation. But I think it's, like I say, top men have looked at this, and it's a real challenge. Another question from a listener identified only by the letter E. That's actually me from the Witness Protection Program. My job is to write listener questions. If you can't write your whole name, we're seeing. We're skeptical. You better bring it with the question.

I'm assuming E is in a position of high authority, much like M in the Bond movies. E writes, you guys are stranded on a sailboat in the middle of nowhere. Sounds good. Who would you blame for being in this situation? I think we're blaming you. Absolutely. I think we all agree that somehow you're to learn. It may not have been your idea, like, hey, let's go on the boat, but in the middle of nowhere,

it's like, oh, yeah. It was your idea to go at night. after finishing off this bottle. Yes, exactly. Like the rest of us were like had a normal idea of going out in the boat. I will say this about me. And this is why I unfortunately have to agree with you. I have an unbelievably great sense of directions.

Like I just, you can drop me down someplace and I tend to know where I am going. But when it lets me down, it lets me down so catastrophically. So hard. So hard. Because I don't, it doesn't occur to me until way too late that I really, I really have no idea where I'm going. So, I don't know, maybe it's not great for this conversation that we just all agree with me and move on.

But 100 percent, what has happened is that I've looked at like, oh, that's Mars. We'd go to that direction. And it turns out that was neither Mars nor the right way to go. And you all have trusted that we're in the 99 percent and not in the 1%. Yeah, that's just a flashing red buoy on the show. That's right. It's like, look, it's red. It's a planet.

It's awfully low. And flashing. Maybe Mars is trying to tell us something. In his defense, though, minor defense, it was after we polished off this bottle. We listened to him. What does that say about us? It really was the getting on the boat that was the original problem. Let me throw this one on here because,

People will, those who choose to listen, will be listening. The ones who are left? Yeah. Yeah. After the Men's World Cup has started. And so, just like the Summer Olympics and the Winter Olympics, there is a mascot for the World Cup. But I was thinking through, what if it was like college sports, and each team gets to bring their mascot? So here's the scenario.

We get to bring a mascot to represent Team USA. But it has to be an existing mascot from one of the major professional sports. Existing or one that has ever existed? You know, it's apropos of nothing. So, yeah, as the judge would say, I'll allow it. But I think, and this pains me slightly as a fan of Boston sports teams, I think I'm going with Gritty. I think Gritty from the Philadelphia Flyers, representing Team USA, I think that would really be

represent America well. Oh, so I was taking this a little bit more literally as to the mascot. And if you're bringing a mascot to represent the United States, obviously, you're bringing an eagle. But what I'm thinking of is like the eagle from Lord of the Rings, you know, that like Gandalf flies around on and is like 60 feet wide. A magical super eagle. Because that would help you win some soccer games. I mean, he's just perched there on the stadium, and every time the other team touches the ball, it just makes, you know, the eagle noise, and they're worried. Gritty is a great mascot, like full stop, like instant hit mascot. If you go back in time just a little bit, I would suggest maybe the San Diego chicken might be the one that we...

It's more representative of America? It's maybe a little more representative of America. And I don't know if you remember this, but there became this mascot one-upsmanship. So after the San Diego Chicken became just famous for being a mascot of whatever, it started with the Padres, didn't it? Yeah. Yeah. The Yankees actually had a mascot called Dandy.

How long did that last? Three years. Nobody remembers that. Three years. It looked like Thurman-Mull. Monson, but it was a large pinstriped bird that looked like Thurman Munson. And Bill Barker, our resident Yankees fan, is currently looking this up. I'm not.

I refuse to believe this ever happened. Because I listened to the Yankees by radio back then. So you didn't see. We didn't waste time on Phil Rizzuto, who would talk about everything but the baseball game. Never talked about the mascot. Well, that's probably why it only lasts for two years. If you lose Phil Rizzuto and the Yankees organization, you've lost the whole organization. Maybe this is what's important about Dandy, is that Dandy was meant to represent the Yankees

and therefore, the United States of America. But who would not be terrified of a giant pinstriped bird that looks like Thurman Munson? On a related subject, because we've often... There's no subject related to that. Yeah, there is. I dare you. We've often talked about the attractiveness of... thinking about the different buddy cop scenarios, CEO buddy cops.

But is there some mascot, buddy cop movie you'd like to see where there's some mismatched mascots, but they solve crimes? Yes, they're mascots, but they also solve crimes. And they don't necessarily get along with each other at the beginning. At the beginning. At the beginning. Eventually, they come to have a begrudging respect for one another. Exactly. In this scenario, who's the captain? Because in the buddy cop movie, there's always the captain who's like, you know, demanding,

like, I need some results. The mayor just chewed me out, that kind of thing. I need your gun and your badge on my desk, that kind of thing. I'm assuming it's a mascot? I'm assuming it's another mascot. It's Oscar the Grouch, I think. He could do that. He's not technically a mascot, but he can fill that role.

Pretty good, right? Yeah, he's a grouch. Yeah. He's a crowd-in-back-down- That's part of the truth. We just need to get him to be the mascot of what? I mean, I'm tempted to go in terms of mismatched mascots in terms of skill set. So maybe you've got the Maryland Terrapin, very slow, obviously, presumably thoughtful, intelligent?

I don't know. Are turtles supposed to be smart? I'm confusing them with owls. Let's get the world's smartest turtle and the world's dumbest owl in the room and see what happens. Why don't you just fill that glass up a little more before you gain any more coherence? You don't need to say, you... Making too much sense. I'm going to say at least one of them should be Chomps the Dog, which is the Cleveland Brown's dog mascot.

And Choms... He seems like he could solve crimes. Yes, yes. But he also seems like he's going to do a lot of other things before he gets around to solving the crime. Chomps the dog, based on the dog pound, which is the mayhem part of the Cleveland Browns fan base, and I'm assured there is one. I feel like that's at least half of it. Who were you matching up with? You had one. You know, I think the Maryland Terrapin, maybe with something fast of some sort? Some sort of roadrunner.

Some sort of a ruder, leopard, mountain lion. Something that doesn't eat turtles. Let's start there. Yeah, because that would be a conflict. But yeah, that actually gets... You're taking sort of a Zootopia angle on this. Yes, although it does remind me that there are teams out there that have basically abandoned their team name in favor of something else. So, the Denver Nuggets, their mascot who shows up in the arena.

Is it piles of poop? No, it's a mountain lion. Oh, okay. It's like, I think. Because I think the Nuggets, that would be an unbelievable mascot. No, it's a mountain lion who just sort of runs around and is more friendly than, presumably, a gold miner from the 1840s. You know, the goldmires, when you think about classic gold miners, I mean, from, you

mythology, you really think about Yukon Cornelius, right? Silver. I mean... He's a silver miner. That's canon. He's a silver miner. Wait, but the song about silver and gold, which follows his adventures, right? That's true.

Yeah, he's really... He's aware of the existence of gold. How great would that be? And peppermint. I mean, what he was actually mining for was remarkably peppermint. Right. And we're getting into the territory. We're getting off subject, off topic here.

Really, that's something we should be exploring at the next appropos of nothing in December. We were accidentally on topic. I may actually say, when you talk about mismatched buddy cops, I also think you maybe need to think about what teams really dislike each other. So I'm doubling down on my Cleveland. Brown's mascot, the dog, match him up with Steely McBean, the Steelers mascot, and they hate each other. They absolutely hate each other, but they can't solve crimes without each other. Different skills.

One's got a giant steel beam he carries around, you know, for the mayhem. Let me guess. He's the bad cop. Like, right? It seems like he'd like dogs, though. That's the problem. Not a dog from Cleveland. Not a Cleveland dog. No.

All right. So, movies. Yeah. I'm changing topics here. For those that couldn't tell. I picked that up when you announced movies. Movies. Go.

Some at least 20 years old, 20, 25 years old, that you'd like to see a part two. Or it could be a prequel. It could be a prequel. I want to spend more time with these characters. You want to spend more time with these characters. You want to know either more about what happens after or what happened before or something along those lines. Man, I've got a two-parter, but go ahead. No, no, go.

He's stalling. Dan's going to come in with something here. Dan's going to come in and win. I would say I would love to. Dan's too young. He didn't see movies 25 years ago. No, but he's... I'm not that.

You're younger the people. I'm almost 40. Yeah. But he is, yeah, you are that. So you weren't seeing R-rated movies 25 years ago. Probably not. I would like to know, ultimately, one of two things. What happened to Prince Humberdink?

And what happened with Wesley and Buttercup in the Princess Bride? See, I don't know. I mean, a sequel to that would just be, make your case. Humberdink? Humberdink and the albino flea? It seems perfect. Do we want to go back there? Trying to make a comeback? It's like, you know, how much money? They didn't battle to the pain. He's got, he's got.

He's coming back. He's coming back. He's coming back. That's the sequel. The sequel is like Princess Bride 2 colon Humberdink's revenge. Yeah. I feel like that would be, I feel like that would at least generate more box office success. than the Princess Bride did. And that is a lower hurdle than you might think. Yeah. Yeah. No, that is one of those beloved movies. It's one of those movies that people are like, what do you mean? It didn't make a lot of money to the box off. Three weeks and was done? No. No, it really didn't.

I feel like there's, I feel like Princess Bride. Dan? I have seen Princess Bride. I don't know if that's part of Dan's Super Young over here, but I have seen that film. There was, actually, I'll go to this. just like off mic because I don't, but you've seen that, but what have you got? Do you have anything in the movies you want to see part two or a prequel? No, not really. I'm not a big fan of prequels or sequels, to be honest. I'm fine if a good story is just a good story.

Like, I don't know. Maybe I'm, maybe my mind doesn't work like a movie studio producer and trying to, you know, dollar signs for eyes over here. But if a good story, if there's a good story and it ends, like, okay, let's get another good story going. We don't have to expand upon this. It's like, no, no, we need to expand upon it, and we need adorable creatures to sell for merchandise. Yes. That's what we need.

Or as Michael J. Fox said, the title of Back to the Future, too, was Back to the Bank. Back to the Bank. Back to the bank. That's a great example, though. That seriously is a great example. Like, Back to the Future, Self-Contained is one of the best movies of all time. And the sequels are fun. Don't get me wrong.

But they don't do anything to make the first movie better. No. No, they could have been good movies because you wanted to spend more time with the characters. Yes. But the way they did it just wasn't very successful execution. To Dan's point, I mean, the fact that so many original movies, Not based on source material, but so many original movies, when the actors signed the contract to be in the movie, frequently there is a clause that essentially bind them.

If we're coming back, you're coming back. For two more movies. That's right. I remember my daughters went to see Pitch Perfect 2, and I was like, how was it? And they're like, eh, you know, it was pretty good. And one of them said, I hope they're not going to make Pitch Perfect 3. I was like, they are 100% going to make Pitch Perfect 3 because the first two made enough money. And that's just how this goes.

I couldn't watch any of those movies. My body tried to, like, my skin legitimately tried to crawl off of my body as soon as they started singing in those films. I couldn't deal with it. Too fringy. Too much a cappella? I mean, acopella is potentially the most embarrassing thing somebody could possibly do. Yes. More than mime?

I, you know, yes, more than mime. Because Acapella can bother you from the other room. That's so great. One of the greatest Mollie Fool moments in the office, I'm going to tell a story. I don't know if it's ever been told outside of these walls. Dan, make a mark. We're going to edit this out. Maybe.

No, no, this is actually just funny. Well, you might get a certain set of people like that. Okay, that's fine. We got... I know the story. Yeah. Bill Barker made a throwaway mocking line about mimes. And we received a...

This was in a written back in the days when everything was written. When everything was written. When everything was an article. Yes. And we got this multi-paragraph response from a mime saying how mimes are disrespected, how he did not expect this from the motley fool that we should be better than this, on and on and on and on. And Pill Barker's response was pretty wordy for a mime.

I was going to say, what, he didn't leave a voicemail? Do you remember what you wrote that resulted in this person? It was just an aside. It wasn't even a clause. It was, you know, it was like, so and so you're like, you can make fun of this. Like, one of the few things you're still allowed to make jokes about other. than mimes. There's like the French.

It was probably like, you're absolutely allowed to make jokes about the French. And MIME America was not pleased. Have you topped? Have you topped? I'm going back to the movies. What's your idea? I'm sorry, that just reminded me of the great line in Spinal Tap where the mime is money.

Yeah, they're at the party where mimes are the wimps tap. And it's like, let's go. Come on. and push the product out there. Let's go. Mime is money. Mine is money. Mine was Princess Bride. I've got more. Well, see, the reason, and then here's my response to going back there. It's already, the story is, boy meets girl, boy loses girl, boy gets girl back. That's the end of the story. The problem with going past Boy Gets Girl back is it's very

difficult to tell something interesting about a happy couple. You got a middle-aged Fred Savage reading a story to his kid. So you just want to have a sad version of a go back. Oh, yeah. By the way, you're making it clear why you have nowhere in the multiverse. Is there a version of you that's a movie producer? Yeah, yeah. Because you're just like, no, I get that this is going to make money,

but I just don't think artistically it works. It's like, okay, well, guess who's no longer running a movie studio? No, there are many versions of me in the multiverse that have no ethics or artis. Sensibility. Including this one? Yeah. Just not in this segment of this one. So here are a couple of ideas.

Just characters I'd like to see more of. Dirty, rotten scoundrels. I wouldn't mind, like, just them up to more hijinks, you know, part two. I don't particularly care what the story is. Didn't care about the first one. Right. Did they win or lose at the end? It doesn't really matter.

Didn't really matter the first time. You do have a little bit of a... Yeah, you do have a little bit of a risk of that being like The Hangover 2. Right? Like the same exact movie, but somehow not charming. Except there wasn't that much money in it the first time. So it would be, and then Steve Martin would have more artistic control. So, you know, I would hope for better. Although I do wonder if that movie benefited from when it was made.

Because if you think about, just let's move off of movies and move to. to sitcoms, if you just think about the escalation in successful sitcoms about people who are not particularly redeemable. And it's like, you start with Seinfeld. Prince Tompher Danks on that list. And then you move to like... It's always sunny in Philadelphia. It's always sunny in Philadelphia.

And then just whatever Larry David wants to do. But that goes on for decades. Right. But I'm just saying, like, in the same way that in the horror movie genre, this is a lot of There are things that are commonplace now and have been for decades in horror movies that were completely original in the movie, in the first Halloween movie. So that young fans of horror movies, when they watch Halloween for the first time, it doesn't have the same effect because it's like, oh, well, they're just doing it.

It's like, no, this invented all of these tropes, you know, the villain who's not actually dead and all that sort of thing. So I don't know that dirty rotten scoundrels would have the same bite in this thing. decade as it did 35 years ago. All right. So, here's, tell me what you think of this, because I'm not sure about it, but it might be good. The usual suspects, I'm not going to give, no spoiler alerts here, but. I mean, Kaiser Soze is not done.

Here's the thing. Here's the thing. We don't really know maybe anything about Kaiser Soce. True. So a prequel could be any. story you wanted. Like Kaiser Sos, you could go everywhere on that one. Yeah. Yeah, you could. That would be a... You've been in a lot of places, Bill, but you finally did bring some value to this topic. That's a good show.

The narrator is somewhere between 100% unreliable, but maybe there's something in there that is related to what you would cover in a prequel. And if we take the narrator at, let's just call it, 50% face value, you've got a really dark prequel there. Oh, you're good to visit some dark places. So this is one of those, like, okay, is this a series? Is this an HBO Max thing where it's like, look just so you know, there's a lot of blood in this one? There's a lot of murder. A lot of killings.

A lot of killings in this one. You love killing. Although, I mean, the actual violence in the movie was not particularly graphic. In the usual suspects? Yeah. I mean, there were some gunshots. There were some gunshots. No, it wasn't.

I mean, the burned guy was a little rough. Yeah. I mean, the burned Hungarian guy in the... Look, compared to what they put at you on HBO nowadays, I mean, it's not exactly Game of Thrones in terms of, you know, the graphic violence. Yeah. But I mean, you can go there. Look, Kaiser Sose might have a few things in his past if he even existed.

Are you familiar with Craig Mason, that name? No. He's a writer and a director, and he did one of the most incredible right turns for a career that I have seen. He was responsible for such deeply valued productions like Scary Movie 3 and Scary Movie 3 and Scary Movie 3. movie four, and Hangover Part 2 and Hangover Part 3, not Hangover Part 1. And then, after Hangover Part 3, he wrote Chernobyl. Oh, really? Yes.

Like, if that's your background, if that's, if that is your CV, is someone saying... Scary Movie 3, also Chernobyl. That's right. Wow. Well, he dealt with the horror a little bit. He did. He did. So he knew something about that.

Yeah. I just don't see what is in that background that suggests, oh, he's going to treat Chernobyl. And people who were from the Soviet Union at that time are going to look at it and say, that production nailed everything. Okay, but do we give all sorts of props to writers who are writing about something that already happened? in the real world? If they write about it well. I think if they read about it well, yeah.

He didn't come up with that story on his own. No, he didn't come up with Chernobyl on his own. That thing happened. That thing happened. Yes, it did happen, but where he really, really captured things that were a surprise, even for people who knew the story, is that he was really able to capture the internal politics in the Soviet Union at the time that prevented people from doing the right thing up and down the line. It was, to me, one of the most terrifying productions I have ever seen.

And, to your point, it was historical. All right. Well, thank you for that explanation. To that point, Dan, what is film writing that you particularly enjoy, respect, admire? Because I don't peg you as someone who necessarily is a huge fan of world building in the way that, you know... Because he's a nihilist? What is this? No, no. I mean, world building can be tough in movies, especially in a feature film where you're only got, you know, around two hours to do something. thing. I don't know. I generally like stories that are, you know, not too, like, I actually think

our Kaiser Soze, Unusual Suspects, is actually a very good example of really, really strong writing, because it doesn't take time to explain a whole lot. It just lets the viewer make the connections in their own brain. And then when you, you know, get to the point of that movie where things are a little bit spelled out for everybody. It's a big like, holy smokes moment. And I think that's, when it comes to, like, a visual medium like that, yeah, don't explain stuff. I always hate it when a movie starts with, like, voiceover and text, you know, and they're just, like, spelling it out for you. Where I think that that's, I think that's the lazy thing the movie can do. Star Wars, I mean, like, okay. You know about that, though, right? You know about why? Star Wars, yes. Start was with a crawl?

No, why? Because this is in the HBO documentary about Steven Spielberg. And early in the documentary, it goes into the relationship he has with other young, up-and-coming directors, George Lucas, Martin Scorsese, Brian DePama, and they're competing with one another, but they're also, they have respect for each other, and they want opinions. And so Lucas has a rough cut of Star Wars and shows it. it to the three of them, and then they go out to dinner. And there's a lot that's unclear, not just because there aren't special effects, but so he

shows it to them, they go out to dinner, and Brian De Palma is just knocking back glasses and wine. And Lucas can tell that his friends are not being completely straight with him about, like, they're like, no, it was good, I liked it. And finally, Brian De Palma just explodes. in the restaurant at George Lucas. He's like, what the hell is going on? What is this?

Like, is this a war? Are these people, is this about religion? Like, he's just, like, unloading on Lucas. And Lucas just sort of, like, you're taking aback a little bit and just sort of explain to him, like, well, no, there's this empire and there's a rebellion and the, you know, the religion thing. That's really the fore. And he's explaining all this stuff to DePama. And DePama just looks at me, goes, none of that is clear.

None of that. And Lucas starts to panic a little bit because he's like, well, like, we've already done all the shooting. Like, what do I do now? And DeBahm's like, you should just do like they did in the 30s and just have a crawl. Just tell people right at the outset what's happening. Because that's the only way you're going to fix this. Because I have no idea going on in this movie. And it just makes me love that.

Like now, whenever I see the opening crawl on any Star Wars thing, it just makes me think of that. I mean, the crawl, though, okay, maybe it started off as a, you know, a funny thing like that, sure. But like, you look at the last three Star Wars movies and it's a crutch. It is a crutch. They used that thing. They brought Emperor Palpatine back in the crawl in the last movie. You know what it would have been cool to see in a Star Wars movie gang? Emperor Palpatine coming back.

That might have been something cool. They'll get to it. They'll get to it. They will get to it. In a Disney Plus series. I would have loved one of those crawls to start with, like, okay, here's the thing. Palpatine. If those are the actual words.

Yeah. Okay. Disney Plus, Palpatine. We're going to find out how it happened. So I threw something out a long time ago, threw out again last night. So there was this couple. They had a wedding. Some of the attendees at the wedding were disappointed that there was no food or beverage at

the wedding. And the wedding host had spent. the money that otherwise might have gone to food and beverage on having Mickey Mouse and Mattis. Who knows? Because the wedding was at Disney, right? No. No, they were just big Disney fans.

And I'm not judging. You remember this. Yes, you are. You remember this. And so, again, through no fault of your own, you're not able to have food and beverage at your wedding. Got about 100 people. I'd say there was about 180 bucks per person for food and beverage that you would have

been able to allocate about 30 bucks for food, $150 for alcohol. And so you got, you got $18,000 to play with here on something that you're going to have at your wedding, that you're going to be able to defend for the rest of your life. You came here to my wedding. As you know, through no fault of my own, I was not able to have. have food and beverage at my wedding. But that money went to this cool thing. What do you got? But just to be clear, it was through their fault. We're not throwing this couple under the bus. This couple that we don't know when he's

not listening to us right now. I feel pretty common in saying like, no. That's totally their fault. They didn't replace it with cholera. They made a conscious decision. We could spend money on food and beverage. Instead, we're going to spend it on Mickey Mouse and Minnie Mouse because we're big Disney fans, and we told everyone ahead of time. When I saw that, I thought, oh, if I were friends with those people, I'm not entirely sure I would go to their wedding. Or I would go to the wedding and just feel like, all right, let's go out to the time. I'm not going to a reception so I can see Mickey Mouse and Minnie Mouse. Nobody tuned in or is still listening to this podcast to hear you trash some unknown couple

who like Mickey and Minnie Mouse. What they want to know is how you would have adopted this situation and produced out of this tragedy of not having food and alcohol something decent. So it basically comes down to, you want people to walk away saying, that was worth it. What'd you do this weekend? I went to this wedding. Here's the thing. At the reception, there was no, you know, because a common question was like, open bar. No, there was no open bar, there was no food, but what they did have. As you recall, there were vending machines at the at the way. Right, exactly.

Which is, oh God, no defense whatsoever. I don't know. Like, that hit me on a gut level, even though I... You've still never been able to move past it. Well, yeah, because I sort of grew up in the school of, no, if you're throwing a party, you give people something to eat and you give them something to drink. Now, it doesn't have to be filet mignon, and it doesn't have to be Donpernion. on champagne, but you've got to get, stuffing.

Stuffing, I mean, we wouldn't want to that. It's like George Cassand, if I show up with the, you know, with ho-ho's and Pepsi, we're thrilled. Dan, any thoughts on what would make you come away from a wedding reception and tell me on a Monday, like, what did you do this weekend? I went to this wedding, there was no food and beverage, but holy cow, they had fill in the blank. Here's the thing. I think that the gift that this couple is giving all of their guests is the

lifelong ability to talk about the worst wedding they ever went to. To whine about their first world problems. I went to a wedding and I had to buy my own food. All of us, all of us are reacting in the same way to this story, which is of horror. Like if you, especially Especially if this couple didn't tell people in advance that there would be no food or beverage, but Mickey and Minnie Mouse were going to be there. I don't know, y'all. To me, to me, I could, you know, and you guys know me, I'm a little bit of a complainer. I could complain about this wedding for the rest of my life.

And you'd be happy. Without even having been there, you might be able to complain about it. But to his point, it's like, oh, you know that internet meme that went around? I was there. I was there. I was there. That is the gift. That's a pretty good gift, I think, actually.

And I know that this couple probably didn't plan for that because that's like, I don't know, metagaming, unbeknownst to anyone. But I think it's pretty remarkable. It is pretty remarkable. To stay with the principle of this story, I think it's got to be some other form of entertainment that costs $18,000, but that the reasonable guest would think was pretty cool. It's like the Rolling Stones were playing. Yeah, but they'd be $500,000.

Easy. Howard Jones, you could get for $18,000. And anyone who's anywhere close to our age would be, hey, you know what? That's pretty great. I don't even know who Howard Jones is. Life in one day. You got Ricky Jay to walk around and do some close-up magic for everybody. Yeah, close-up magic from Ricky Jay.

We had somebody at a party that we were at do close-up magic. Yes, and we had no food. It was not worth 18-1-8-1-8. No, it was. And also, that party had no food. That's true. Wasn't that a fool party? Yes. We're not complaining people who organize parties for the Motley Fool. It is just that mistakes were made. Food's more useful than those are. I mean, it's got to be some 80s or 90s star. Debbie Gibson, happy to be asked. $18,000.

Yeah, it's got to be something that you can walk away. But what are you going to do while Debbie Gibson is up there singing what are a vending machines? Ultimately, Dan nailed it. It comes down to the story. It's not going to go well. What's the best story to tell people? So it's either we were at this internet meme wedding, or it's, here's a photo of me and fill in the blank person. Could you get the entire Brady bunch for 18K? I don't think so. Aren't some of them dead? Well, then they don't cost anything. That's perfect. Much like the immortal Ricky Jay. Yeah. No longer with us.

I really feel like it's a Has-Ben musical star that people would be excited to have seen, even under the circumstances. Like Bruce Springsteen. It's got to be a story. Still going to be more than... No, I'm kidding. He said Hasben, I believe. That was the joke.

You can't go to the back row of a Springsteen concert for 18K. That's right. He's not a has-been. He is an is-B. Try getting a ticket for 21K to one of his shows. I hope they didn't pay 18,000. thousand dollars to have Mickey and Minnie there? No, no, no. It was less than that.

But I'm trying to work with a little bit bigger budget so that we can get something better than Mickey and Minnie. Like, oh, well, I got HR Puffin' Stuff there. Again, I don't think you're breaking the bank for H.R. Puff and stuff. Wait a second. If you had H.R. Puffet stuff at your wedding. Many weddings these days do. It would be so much better than Mickey and Minnie.

So much better.