Mum's The Word! The Parenting Podcast - “Becoming Dads Overnight Changed Everything" Matthew & Ryan Mackinnon on Adoption, Guilt & the Reality No One Talks About!

Episode Date: March 29, 2026

This week on Mum’s The Word, Kelsey Parker is joined by Matthew and Ryan Mackinnon, the couple behind the podcast Daddies Overnight, and their story is unlike anything we’ve heard before.From building a life together online to suddenly becoming parents through adoption, Matthew and Ryan open up about what it really means to become dads overnight… and why nothing could have prepared them for it.They share the honest reality of choosing adoption over surrogacy, the unexpected challenges that come with both, and the moment that completely changed their perspective on becoming parents.From misconceptions about adoption to the emotional weight of the process, this is a side of parenthood that isn’t talked about enough.Kelsey also dives into the emotional complexities of fostering and adoption, including the guilt, the gratitude, and the heartbreaking reality of taking a child from a foster family who loved them deeply.Plus, the trio talk about life now as parents, from surprisingly perfect sleep routines (yes, really) to the moments that make it all worth it, and whether they’d ever do it all again.Expect laughter, honesty, and a powerful reminder that there’s no “normal” path into parenthood.Grab a cuppa, get comfy, and join Kelsey, Matthew and Ryan for this eye-opening episode of Mum’s The Word.A Create Podcast Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Welcome back to Mums the Word. I'm your host Kelsey Parker and today I'm joined by the amazing Matthew and Ryan McKinnon. They both host the podcast Daddy's Overnight which followed their journey to literally becoming dads overnight through adoption and now their lives as new dads. So grab a cupper, get comfy and let's jump into a brand new episode of Mums the Word. So, Matthew and Ryan, thank you for joining me today. Thanks so happy. This is so cool. So, introduce yourselves.

Okay. For people that don't know anything about you, tell us. Should we do? No, no, don't do it. Oh, why? What are you gonna do? I'm normally. A full experience. Are you ready?

So you normally go, hey guys. It's Matthew and Mayan here. And then we always do that, we always get it wrong and it ends up being like 10 takes. But I'm Matthew. Yeah. I'm Ryan. Is this what you do in your wrong pod? We do sometimes.

Oh no, we don't. We have an actual intro, yeah. No, we do. You have an actual intro? We just go straight into there. Do you have a jingle? We do. We do.

We do. We have like two jingles. What? Did you record the jingle yourself? What's the jingle? Oh, God. The jingle is in like a little tune. Yeah.

Oh, it's just like a little like, do-l-do-do-do-do-do-do-do. That sort of thing. It's not like, Matthew and Ryan. No, that's why I wanted that, but he didn't want that. I was like, no, thank you. Boring. But yeah, we're just, same-s that's a couple. Duh.

And we just create like comedy. Any kind of content, I would say that's just like fun, uplifting. So what were you both doing before you met each other? PR. I was a makeup artist. Yeah, makeup artist. Yeah, makeup. Yeah.

Mm. Look at that makeup. I'm in a cup like this. I know. You didn't meet a shame. Okay, see later. And then that's, I've always done like YouTube. So I was always doing like makeup, fidios.

What tutorials and stuff? Yeah. And then... That's not the truth though, is it? Or how did you start YouTube? Oh, I used to do Japanese dancing. But these videos are nowhere to exist anymore. I was probably like 13 and I was quite big as a child.

Yeah. And I would proper be like into anime and I would be like singing to like these like Japanese girls and dancing and put them on YouTube. Did they blow up? No. They've gone. They've gone. They're not for the right reasons. Oh my God, we need them.

No. I don't know where they are now. And then I met Matthew and then we did like, just couple stuff. Yeah, but we started. It was like no expectation. Yeah. This was like 2016 or 2015. Like nine years ago.

It wasn't a job. But I do think back then there was no expectation. It was so different. It was just fun, wasn't it? Yeah. That's all it was. And then we didn't, we were always like, this will be a full time thing for us one day. And then it did become a full time thing.

Just because we kept showing up like that. Was it your PR background? I don't know. No, it's my star quality. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And then you brought me into the show.

Yeah. That was coming up my mouth next. But yeah, that's how it started. Tell me what's happened in life. Because there's more to this, isn't there? There is a lot more. I feel like we basically have adopted and become parents. Yeah.

Daddy's overnight. This is probably the last, like, years worth. And I love that. What made you go down? Thank you. What made you go down the adoption route, though? We did go through both. We looked at like, soagasy and adoption.

And I think it's funny because as a gay couple, I think many gay couples tend to have a conversation really early on if you want kids. So not everyone wants kids. But I do think that's like a conversation now. A lot of people do have. Maybe, yeah. Well, yeah.

Like when I met my partner, he's not got any children. And it was a bit like... You had that conversation. Do you want, like, do you want children? I think it's because, you know, you're not wasting each other's time. Yeah. There's a lot of time wasting now, isn't. Well, yeah, you'd be like...

If you did get further on them... Yeah, imagine going five years in. And then it'd be... So we didn't want kids straight away, obviously, like 10 years ago. Yeah. We were still kids ourselves. But then I feel like... You were still doing the Japanese dancing, trying to make that take off.

Spoilerlet it didn't. I feel like that would take off on TikTok now, though. Yeah, I feel like it would. I don't think I could do it. I don't think I could do it. And then we looked at advocacy and adoption probably like two years ago, wasn't it? We just sat down and we were ready. And obviously neither of us can get pregnant

So you kind of plan Plan it, you have to plan it a little bit I suppose And I feel like I wasn't anti-adoption But because you know like I think of like the 90s movies Where like adoption isn't always like a positive thing Sometimes or I don't know

I always thought But as in where? Where is it not positive? I just feel like kids Behave your problem That sort of thing or being a gay couple Is it are we going to be like discriminated Even though they say you won't

I was just really worried about that sort of thing What box? Yeah. And like will actually be a nightmare. So I was like, surrogacy will be so easy. Because you see more, you see a lot more of surrogacy online. Especially in America and you just think, you know, we'll just use one of each other's sperm and then we'll find... It'll be a race. We'll find an egg. You know, and you just live in this fancy thing or it'll be really easy. And we'll have a baby soon. But when we started going down surrogacy, we were like, oh my God, this isn't for us. Firstly, firstly, the whole sperm racing thing. It's illegal. Can't do it.

You need to know whose sperm you're using. You couldn't put like both. a cup and you're making the baby but you're like we thought so we were like we'll never like it doesn't matter who it is but like we didn't know that was a thing yeah um that was one learning but then i feel like it was quite hard because there's no like didn't seem very regulated in the UK and you see lots of success in the UK but it's just really hard to find a surrogate to get the surrogate yeah and you it's got me a friend that's like oh i would carry for you and we kind of didn't want to know the person yeah because it's just i was why that i would get really attached.

They would get attached. It might get messy. Could we ruin a friendship. So I was like, I'd want it. I'd want it a stranger to carry. Do you know people that go abroad for them? Yeah, a lot more many. That's what I was going to say.

What sort of money? It's like 200 grand. I think it was that 200k in America was it? Yeah. Yeah. But over here, can you, you can pay. I think you can pay for legal costs, but you can't like pay someone. Yeah.

But over there is actually a legal binding contract. Yeah, it's like a proper contract. much because you've got the protection and you've got to pay for all the medicals and stuff was here you can't pay so I think that's why a lot people tend to use their friends or someone they know but we would go to these meters basically someone would be doing

it out of love yeah oh 100% which is like amazing obviously it is amazing but I would hats off to anyone just do it for their friend to be like I'm going to have your baby I know but people say it all the time Tracy is so hard but we would have friends that said they would do it

and then we would go to them and then they're like, oh, well, I don't know, I can't do it. Yeah, they just said it. Yeah. Because it is a lot to actually go. 100%. I'm like, oh, no, I actually can't do that. So.

But then we just hopped on a call with an adoption agency and it was like, genuinely that call, like, changed our lives. They were so positive. And they like, we didn't really have like, I keep saying like myths when I talked to people about it. But we just thought adoption was just going to be a nightmare, but it wasn't. It was like they were opening up, like they were welcoming us with open arms. children. So many kids. It's actually insane. And I think what we realised. It just breaks my heart like when I actually sit and think about that because it's like so many children. And then where's the line when they're fostered to adopted?

Fostering. Lots of kids go into foster care when they're like taken out of a situation or or abandoned. Or abandoned. So many situations. They go into foster care and then the foster care is caring for them until they can find their forever home. Yeah. I went on. on holiday once and met this couple, well, they were a family and they were fostering, but the children were getting adopted in like, when they went back, they had like six weeks. And I was going, but I don't know how you're going to do it.

I don't know, like, and the relationships these children have built with them, they absolutely adored them. And even when I left them, I was like crying. I was like, but I was like, they're going to like be off with someone else. And it's amazing for them because obviously, what they'd actually gone through of their little lives so far

you think, oh my God, like, wow. It's so hard. But then they loved them. But obviously, they know as foster parents, they're only doing that for that amount of time. I mean, I think it takes a certain special person to do that.

I don't think everyone, I mean, I can do it. Absolutely not. But I think so, because what my problem would be is hard to have about 20 kids then living with me. You want to give them bad. You're adopting you all. You're getting adopted now. Yeah, it's so bad.

I'm building an hour house town there. You're all going to come in the room. I think that was kind of how it was, that was a bit that we were really shocked how hard it was, was taken Lincoln from the foster family because we just thought he's our son, but taking them away. We thought it was so easy and just be like, thank you for looking after. Like, thank you. Thank you, yeah.

But we were so insanely, well, we are still because we talk to them now, but the foster carer, you just. You see the love. See the love there. And now that obviously he's ours and we've just built the most insane bond with him. We're like, wow, you like really started his life for him. And you gave him the best start of like life. So we obviously are always grateful, but it was so hard because you...

And if it isn't for people like foster carers, that can give them that. Exactly. But we felt really like bad people when we took him. We weren't even... We thought we'd be really emotional bringing him home because of having him. But we had more like trauma from the whole thing because we were like taking him from the foster carer. even though she knew that's like a part of what she does, you just have such bad guilt.

Was she devastated? She hid it from us. She did really well. She was strong for us because I was like, on the day of I was like, cry, I was so, it was awful.

But I didn't think I was going to be like that. I thought I was just going to be like, we'll chat to you when we get home. But you feel like you've done like, you feel like there's such a nasty person doing it. Really, really. Then she knows why she does that job. Yeah.

And she's doing the job to look after him to get her family. Logically, you think I get it. And she would say it. I feel it's in it, but I think that's with anything in life. When you're in something, your feeling towards it is completely different. Or sometimes how you think you can react to a certain situation. Your heart kicks in. You're like, like that's like when I said goodbye to them.

It was like, I don't cry at anything. But things like, kids is just my. Kids and dogs. Yeah. But that was probably the hardest, I would say, taking him from that loving home. We're lucky we talked to her, though. Yeah. Yeah, she's so good.

And again, online, you have, you read about. foster carers and they're like big, mean people and they're really not. No. Like, it's all what you see online and what you read online about adoption. It's just really not true. Well, even I think the Bright family do it amazingly, that Lydia Bright and her mum, Debbie, they foster. Oh, do they?

Yeah, Debbie's always fostered. And Lydia always talks about her foster siblings. I mean, her mum's had children that are now, like, they're her sisters. Why? Because they've lived with her since they were, like, 18. But she's always got a foster child. And they are massive like talking about, you know,

there needs to be more foster homes out there for children. I think people don't talk about it because they're worried that they'll say the wrong thing. I think that word adoption, people just sometimes think it's such a negative word. So then that's why there isn't as much information online whilst we've been so open. See, but I don't feel like adoption is a negative word.

No, it's not. Because I think really you've given him a lifeline. Yeah. Of what life could look like. 100%. So then now what life looks like is different. And you know, we're all on this journey of life. Yeah, no one gets it right.

No one gets it right. And your path's taken, you know, when he's older, he'll go, wow, what my childhood could look like, but what he did look like is so different. And it's not a negative thing. And I just think, so you might not have adopted him and what at the end? Could he have ended up in a care home? Exactly. Yeah, but he's amazing.

He's so cute. We got... Yeah, tell me. He's just so good. He is like a dream. I feel like he, his personality is really coming out now, but he sleeps really well. That's the one thing. And he eats really well.

Genuinely, should we just say what the sleep is with? So he will go for a nap at half past 12. Yeah. What time do you think he wakes up? Three? Four. Half three, four. Yeah.

And then... We have to get him up. We have to get up. Yeah, because he's, yeah. Because he's like, just wants to lay there. And then we'll put him down normally at around seven, five past seven and what time do you think he wakes up? Seven?

Nine a.m. No, I'm not even taking the minute. Between eight and nine and he'll just be like playing with him, like playing with his elephant. And the foster carer when she had him, she was like, God, he sleeps so good. And we were like, yeah, yeah. Like, as soon as we get him home, we know he's just going to be. And we're mentally prepared to like have sleepless nights and it'd be awful.

And obviously we've had some. But teething, things that happen. He genuinely like, he's got this little elephant. And when it's bedtime, we're like, should we go see Ellie? and he will run to the stairs, start trying to crawl up them, and he will want to get in that sleeping bag. He likes bed. Loves it.

And I'm like, I love that for him. That's why we're like, can we have another one? Because we've never been a nightmare. Are you going to adopt a game? I don't know. I thought we have it so good. I'd worry that we'll have like a little demon on next. We would.

We'd have it. It would be terrible too. Yeah. Yeah. Because, yeah, that you don't. That is like a one-off that. Yeah. Your mum said that as well.

Yeah. And like our friends, kids, they're like the opposite and we're like wow but we mentally prepared for it to be the opposite. Did anyone do sleep training? No. He just naturally is a really good sleeper. He just is a good sleeper. Even if he got bad now I'd be like

well we've had our good time. You wouldn't care. You'd be like that's fine. It's one of this. We had just one of those things. Well yeah because he might go for a stage where he's just like gets a la la la la la la. I don't ever want to relate.

Because my yeah Boney was a good sleeper and then he was actually obviously when he came out of the car and he could get out of bed. That's all we've heard. And get into bed with me. Was it bad? Yeah. Or is it bad?

Yeah, but I just think you've just got to do the training. Yeah. I did let him get away with it for a little while, but then it was like, okay, no, now I've got to get you back to your own bed. So it's like, you have to keep walking them back to their bed going, no, you're sleeping here. Oh, my God. Daddy's in the other room. And you had to keep doing it. What's the longest you've had to keep doing the up and down, up and down for?

Oh, quite a few times. More than like six? Yeah, I think sometimes you get to the point where you're a bit like you then just go back to sleep. Oh my gosh. Oh, I wake up and he's just there and I'm like, how has this happened? You've beat me. You've made me tonight.

So you sometimes just open the duve and just go get in? Yeah, you do. When you're that tired, you do it. You just take it. Yeah, you're like. It's like survival mode, isn't there? You just need some sleep. Well, then he'll just go straight to sleep and be.

Yeah, happy. But he's, I have got over that now. And bed wet wet, as well. Yeah, we've got all that to come. Oh, we had a story coming. And boys are. aren't they for worse because apparently the sensation they don't get the sensation quick enough so it happens so it just happens have you um had any poo art on the walls

no but should I tell a story the other day don't so I did you heard the story yet so we went on holiday and he bodey got sick but my daughter brought a holiday yeah Aralia is the most dramatic child you've ever met in your whole entire life so she would have been like ma'am oh my god's going he went mom oh I think you need to come here and I went Why? I was thinking he's wet the bed. He went, I've been sick. So I went in there and he'd been sick all over the bed, but it was on holiday, whatever, I sorted it out.

Got him in bed with me. We went back to sleep. I was going, how do you feel? It's just my throat's really sore. I was like, oh, you'll be all right, whatever. Got back into bed. I woke up an hour later and I was like, oh, my God, I can smell shit. No.

He'd pooed in the bed and on me. He pooed on me. That is so bad. Did it? Yeah. He obviously didn't, obviously he had like diarrhea, didn't he. Oh, bless him. Oh my God, that's so sad.

He did. He was laughing his head off in the morning. I was like, you pooed on me last night. And I, even with my pyjamas up, I was like, I'm just putting in the bin. I was like, I can't even save it. I would not. Do you know when you got, I couldn't wear the top again? I was like, that has gone through it.

That stain is not coming out. And I just stripped the bed and then we just laid there. Then my mum was on holiday. I was like, well, you're not going to help? She's like, well, you had it all under control, didn't you? I was like, oh. It's just on me. I don't know what we're going to do.

Do bugs come into your house a lot? No, I think what, again, I was saying to you before we came on this, that they build their immune system, but you will get them from nursery. And the sickness bugs are the worst, and you'll all go down with it. That's what I can't. No, no, I'm not.

You're really weird about getting ill. He's so weird about it. I don't want to say it, but I haven't actually vomited from non-alcohol for years and years and years. I've never seen it. But then you might not get a sickness. You might get the other end. I'd rather that.

Yeah, well, you probably will because I'd drive a show. On TikTok on the toilet. I have both ends. He will have both. I always get both ends. And I get the other end. Yeah, because you've got the fear. That's why it won't come to you.

I've got the fear. I still get. Yeah, but you're not scared. I can see in his eyes. I can take it. I can mad. But yeah, the sickness bugs they get. Oh, God, sick.

Oh, yeah, it's sick, isn't it? It's gross. But they have to build their immune systems. Yeah, I suppose it's a part of life. Yeah. They're a bit of oranges. Yeah, oranges. Fimsy.

Just like how to. You look at us like, good luck. An orange is a good at home. No, I don't know. No, I think it's all really good. And hand washing. Listen, I am the queen of remedies, supplements, everything. I am.

Try it all. I love it. I'm really into it and obviously feeding my kids really well. Yeah. That is my purpose. Do you have to blend veg and stuff to make the meat? Oh, they're quite good with veg. No, mine are actually quite good.

That's so good. He's okay. He goes through stages. He goes through stages. Sometimes I have to like really high. hide the broccoli. And then recently I saw, you know, when you're doing your dinner,

you're giving me dinner and trying not to look what they're doing. And I saw him pick a broccoli. And I was like, oh, my God, oh my God, it's going in his mouth. Oh my God, I ate like the whole piece.

And I was just like, mm-hmm, mm-hmm. Yeah, and you just don't comment. Yeah, I did. Don't make a big deal of it. Yeah. And then day after, it was like, yeah.

Yeah. But also, I do think with that, they pick and choose. Yeah. Mine, going through the dinners, they don't like that dinner. I don't like that dinner. They eat the dinner.

Oh, you had that at school? Arolia said something the other time. I went, I thought you didn't like that, but you've eaten that at lunch? I don't really understand. She's like, oh, yeah, but it was nice at school or something. I was like, oh, yeah. Can't wait.

But when they start actually getting, like, their personalities and speaking or whatever else, I think it's the best thing in the whole entire world. I just, I love children, though. I have always loved children. Like, I run a performing art school. I've done, I've literally. Wow. Yeah, and I've had that since I was 21.

Like, my mum said to me, I just knew you was going to be. a mum because I honestly, just like, even on Hudson, I have all the kids like round my sonbed. I'm like, yeah, just, they love me. Do you have an insatiable fascination with the paranormal? Are you ready to dive headfirst into the eerie realms of the unexplained? Brace yourself for the supernatural world is about to reveal all of its secrets on the paranormal activity podcast. And who better to guide you through this hair-raising journey the myself, Yvette Fielding, renowned paranormal investigator. Every episode of paranormal activity takes you on an unforgettable adventure into the unknown.

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I've got daddies overnight. It's so good thing. It's exciting because it's different to what we've done before because we share so much online. But you know, when you, it's not necessarily sharing the best bits on our socials all the time because we do share the deep stuff too. But daddy's overnight lets us just be a bit more longer with it. You'd be able to like really dive in a little bit more. Yeah, because sometimes you're like kept to you one minute. You are, you are like one minute one if you're lucky.

Well, I think with the podcast, you can actually have a conversation. I think with adoption or becoming parents, it's a bigger conversation than just a one minute one video. So I think it's been really good to actually have those. conversation. Have you had lots of questions? Have you had backlash? We get a lot of questions about showing his face. Backlash, like... What, do you not show his face? So we blur his face at the moment or put an emoji and that's actually just because we want to. Yeah. And it's not even like, because we have to, because we don't have to. It's just by... Because he's hours. It was more like when we announced he was home, like there were so many people watching the videos which was nice, obviously,

because that's, you know, we're sharing the journey. But you know when... Were you a bit blown away? Was you Yeah. Yeah. Like people just being nosy. Like, yeah. And also I just think it was so intense that the whole adoption journey was so intense

and it was leading up to this moment. I thought we couldn't do it. How long was the journey? 18 months, yeah. A long old, oh, actually that's quite short for some people. Because it depends. You go for the whole journey

and it's a year, no, six months. Eight months. It's eight months to get approved. And it's how long you're waiting for that child. So it's like you'd be waiting a week. You've waited a month. see how long's piece of string and like we put inquiries, it sounds really like inquiries,

but like we put ourselves forward with different kids and like we weren't chosen. So you're on this like roller coaster off, oh my God. I think based on the needs of the kid and if you can meet them. I also think it's a little bit of that social worker likes the look of you. Yeah. I do think it does come down to a little bit. Sometimes I do think it does come down to that bit. And also you definitely do.

You definitely do. Yeah. Yeah, I too. No, because I'm just thinking like they. They also put the child's needs first. And I think they see our socials because I can just. imagine our social media obviously got passed around. That was an issue.

And I can just imagine that some people like, oh, no, let's stick with a family that doesn't share things online. Yeah. More like formal jobs, more like traditional jobs. I think that our job, social media was a big thing. Because they never, it's not like a normal thing, is it, for everyone? No, but ultimately you're here to have a child that you want to love and take home. Well, my thing was more like as well with the social stuff was they're like dying for people to consider adoption or foster.

And it's like, well, you don't want to talk about it, but you have to talk about it. Yeah. So that was my thing of it. What do you mean? We were never told not to share stuff on socials, but you could, you just knew that some social workers were like, do not be talking about this on social media. And again, it was past your opinion. But that, for me, like you're saying, they need people to do it. They need it. Yeah.

Millie Bobby Brown. Exactly. Exactly. Like, how incredible. Amazing. All the stuff you see online about Millie, though, is like she's beyond her years. She's always been like a really old style. That's all you see, isn't it actually.

She looks so good. But also her options that she could have had. Obviously, she could have had a baby herself. She's actually done that, like, straight away. But that's actually drawn a light, isn't it? It's trying to go, right, this, you can adopt. These children need to be. Like, so for me, that's a positive.

I think it just depended. I don't know, sometimes these jobs can be spun, though, can't they? Yeah, all the time. And I think it did depend on the social. So some social workers, they were older, maybe more traditional, they probably didn't like it. Was they young? They know that adoption needs to move forward. So some social workers were like, can we be in your video?

Yeah. And obviously we were like, and they wouldn't have because they, you don't want people to know, like, what social workers were doing on what. And some message us now, like, it's amazing because they don't, you know, when you're with a social worker, you're in like PR mode because you're like, oh, I better not say the wrong thing because they're the ones with the decision. Whereas some, like, slide into our DMs. Yeah, you don't want to do anything. Even though they know your normal people, but they, some side into our DMs,

like I love that we know what it's like behind the, your perspective, behind the curtain of... No politics, chat. Yeah. Yeah. Oh, I love it. So,

the podcast, you absolutely love. I'd be loved to being it. I'm glad we started it. But don't you think doing a podcast is a bit like therapy? Right. And I'll hope you've cried.

So we, we put on our podcast, you know, you like, say if it's like comedy or anything like parenting, we're like, right, put comedy, that's your number. That's our thing.

And all we've done is cry. This is not funny. It's like, I think I know in their podcasts, but they're just crying. We just, we just trauma-dump. And we were laughing about it on the last episode because we were like, God, because I was crying. Because you talk about it. You talk about, like, I think you were crying about that memory and you brought him home.

Oh, yeah. And how you look back at memories. And because it was so traumatic, you didn't have the best experience. And then you were talking about it. We're like surviving, aren't you? It's like such a. It's when you talk about something. Everyone around you.

so happy, but you're like, oh my God, I'm dying. I was like dying inside, really looking back. But then... But dying from what? I think it was more like... Was you scared? A little bit. And I think everyone's, all your family, like, oh my God, like the kids, they've got a baby

and that. Everyone's really excited, but then you're kind of like, you've got the guilt of taking him. But also, I do think it's also like, when you give birth, you're a bit like, it's all the lead up to it. You have the baby shower. You have everything. Yeah. It's not really like, I've actually got to do it.

I've actually, everything that we've. close with about. That's what I said. Because a lot of people said to us that when they give birth, they have that freak out. And so I was like, it's normal. And we were doing all of fun stuff. Yeah, it is normal.

They like, when you're actually in labour, they say that there's like a bead that you get to, like a doler does this. There's a bead that you get to and you think, I can't do this. And I guess it's the same sort of thing. It's like, you going in being like, I'm going to take him. It's like, but also it's the reality of.

100%. There's not, there's no going back. Got to keep him alive and just make him happy. It was just weird because we were like leaving, locking up the house and getting in the car and we're like oh god next when we come back like no it will never it will never be the same it will never be the same and you still have the social workers involved so you have so much

are they still involved now no no it's all done now when does that sort of so you can apply for an adoption order 10 weeks and one day so you've done precise yeah it's 10 weeks and one day it can't be 10 weeks has to be 10 weeks and one day they have to be living with you and then you wait for your court hearing and that's where like everything's wrapped up and you can then get its passport birth certificate.

And like you can go to... That's quite a long... It is a long time. It does weird because before we were like 10 weeks and one day because we love like travelling. We were like, let's just get out of our space. I know you're meant to be nesting, but we were like, we need to get out of here.

It always looks different from everyone. Yeah, but it's, for us, it was actually... Like the 10 weeks and one day went quick, didn't it? Yeah, it did eventually. Yeah. You're just trying to survive. Yeah. But I think because we wanted it so much,

before we'd be on Cloud 9, So when we did find ourselves getting a little bit sad, like missing old lives or just like, have we made the right decision, I think we got really sad because it's such a dramatic. We're finally going to be dad and then it happened. And it was just really hard. Look, we talk about it all the time and I always say it. Being a parent will be the hardest job you ever have to do. Literally. And do you know what's really bad?

Because we scrolled it. We don't actually scroll loads, but like we were scrolling at the time, like, what do we feed him? All these, like, stupid things. But everyone makes it look amazing. I was like I'm going to do like Smart fake as hell Like smiley pancakes I'm going to do like dinosaur

Like waffles We'll be laughing in the mornings We're pouring coffee with him and one arm And it was just like the opposite I'm like the bottle's too hot And it's screaming Trying to sterilise this thing He's kind of scold

Because that's that lonely routine Oh the amount we see and it's like We get up at seven We have a little laugh Spend the day with me It starts Yeah Go ahead

But you know with a little kite A type catcher. It's like, Spend the day one at 7 a.m. It's all like beautifully aesthetic. Yeah. No, even with mine this morning,

we watch TV to a certain time and they know the time that they get out of bed. Do they try and just push? No, it's not that, is it? It's we watch this program. Like, no, it's not. You know what.

That's so sneaky, like typical kids. Oh, yeah. And then she's got this camera that she's got the moment. So all she wants to do is take pictures of her. So I'm like, just stop taking pictures and printing them. Just get it.

your uniform on we've got to go God that would literally be us I think some people don't share that reality on socials do they so like you said that you're looking going oh my god look at that that parent that makes the... We've had this whole comment say you were worried about the food more than anything I was really worried about the food just like making sure

he had like enough food so I was just like some people make their kids like a gourmet male or they're like sprinkled I was like I'm starving him yeah we felt like we weren't feed him enough stomach is that bit. No, but you're, you're explaining it to me now. But like, months ago, at the time, at the time, ethics so, like, heightened.

You needed my numbers, didn't you? Literally. So, bad. How big said, someone can you just show me? It was so weird. I thought we wanted to, like, ask people for help. Not that we felt like we're kidding, but, you know. But everyone's opinion was so different.

It's hard. And people's opinions are, it's hard to take everyone's opinion as well. I think you've got to do what's right for you. Because when we met him and when we brought him home, people, like wear a white t-shirt, only a white t-shirt, don't wear anything colorful, distract him. And there's me, like, wearing colorful jumpers, spain perfect, like, or wedding perfume. Because it's like, it's a big moment. They're like, shouldn't be doing that.

What, I'm sorry, I don't understand why? I don't really know now. Who said that? Oh, some, it was just a comment. Like. Wear white? Just so you, like, they took in your face and not what you were wearing. Not distracted.

Sorry. I was like, mm-hmm. He's going to see you the rest of his life. He's not all remember this. He's like, he didn't. It's the same with the nursery, was the next? Yeah. Yeah.

He said, we've got like, you walk into his room. He's got two plain walls and then two walls are like wallpaper with like cute animals. Like just chill vibes. Yeah. But everyone was saying it was like too distracting. He won't sleep. And I'm like, he won't sleep. Do you know what he's like?

Yeah. Also, it's just the social's like. It is. Too much. It is. And like, I said like 80% are amazing. But you're obviously opening up to try and get people involved just for conversation. but actually sometimes just don't need the noise.

Just do what... We do now. Now I'm more thrilled. Yeah, but also it is a topic. It's like something to talk about, is it? But actually, what's the point? Yeah. Don't get...

You're like, battling people. You're like, oh, he could probably sleep with this being around him. The back. Also, you know your kids more than anyone else. Yeah. Like, you know how to raise him. You know what they can handle. Like, when we went to Japan with him recently.

But even if you're adopting as well, you're... You're... No. Like, do you know, 100. You know what their needs are because it doesn't take you long to figure out their needs. For sure. I mean, we went to Japan with him and people were like, you're cool for taking him on a 50 now flight. You shouldn't do that.

He's a good sleeper. It was the best thing we've ever done. And do it now. I think get it in now because I'm telling you what, when he's too free, you ain't going to be taking him on that fly. We are. Everyone's saying this. Does it get really bad at that sort of age? La la la la la la la.

We're like, no, he's a dream on the flight. Like, genuinely, didn't even cry on take off. and we were, it was freakishly good. Obviously, all of that's fine. They start getting bored and then like, obviously, at two, then they want to get up and, you know, my kids are at an age now where they will just sit in the seats and they'll do stuff.

Yeah, and they do stuff. So good. But, yeah, when they're, I took her at three months to America, but I don't know if, I don't even know if I could do that with them now. We've been to Dubai, that's the, how far are six hours? It's that eight. It's a seven or eight.

What they like on a flight? What they like on a flight? No, should I say what? With Aurelia, it was absolutely horrendous. So Bodhi actually went to sleep. He's my good sleeper. Aurelia has never, like, hated sleep and doesn't really need a lot of sleep. She's like Tom.

So she, we got on this plane and everyone gives you, the advice, everyone gives you advice. 100%. They went, do the night flight. Do the night flight. We do. The most pointless thing. They went, do the night flight. I was like, right, okay, booked to the night flight.

Got on the plane. Obviously, she thought, this, I'm, this. is party mode. So she sat down. She started watching something on the screen, like the screen. I was like, you've got to go to sleep now. She's like, no, no.

It was like, you've got to go to sleep now. By the end of it, I think she had three hours sleep. That's exactly what he was like. So then woke up and we are a sicky family. So we've got out. Don't tell me she was sick on the plane. No, she wasn't sick. No, no.

Oh, yeah, that's another story. I've been sick to on the plane as well by her. We got into the cab. She started throwing up because she was so. so tired, then got to the hotel. She literally walked through. Obviously, you're in Dubai as well.

She just went everywhere, sick to all over the floor. But they were so kind. I was thinking if she did that over here, people... Literally, they got flannels. They got her... Really? But I thought, I would never do that night flight

ever again, because that didn't work for us. I would do the daytime flight. And get there at like 8 o'clock at night or whatever time it is out there. Did they turn the lights off on your flight? Yeah, I think they did. But again, only... only for a few hours and then it's back on.

Yeah, it was on the whole time. When we did the, we travelled to Greece and she had orange juice and orange Doritos and threw that up over me. Now I'm like more prepared for that just in case for a sick occasion. Oh gosh, we didn't have that. I don't know what I'll do. I genuinely don't know what I'll do. You just make it work, don't you just do what you need to do? Yeah.

But also I just think when they do start growing up, that all changes as well. Like she was never really a sicky baby and then just became really. God, I'm going to be awful. New problems by that. Yeah, that's your problem. You can be the sick. I don't mind that. You can be the sick one.

I'm okay with sick. Yeah, I'm okay with it. I don't mean, I don't love it. Not when I'm wearing it, but... Yeah, maybe in a few years I feel different. You probably won't. So you love travelling then? Yeah.

We love it. So you've been to Japan? Yeah. We've been all over really, haven't we? Being traveled quite a lot. That's our first with him. Just like take him places. We want to go grease next.

We do actually want to do grease next. Just like... Just like a little like... Just chill when you're there, isn't it? I love grease. I love grease. I love the food. Yeah.

The food. Oh, Greek food. Do you feel really safe when you're over there with the kids as well? Yeah. I do a lot. I do a lot of travelling with them and we go away a lot and they've done a lot of, they have done a lot of flying. But I think everything, you've got to get them used to doing things.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And especially I think in our business, what we do is like going away. Going away, but even like taking them to London doing the PR events. Yeah. I just think it's good lessons for them because I think, especially people give them a lot.

Like, oh, you can have this, you can have that. And I think it turns them really bratty. So I try and teach mine that, you know, you're thankful and you're grateful for everything you get given at these events. And if I decide you're not having it, you're not having it. A hundred percent. That's so good. Otherwise, they just get so much.

Like, the premieres that you start going to and doing all that. And it's not normal. It's so, like, like, so grateful, so lucky. Yeah. So, like, you have to teach them that. Yeah, 100%. Do you feel like really take it in? family's toy store when no one else has been in it.

It's not a normal day, is there? That's insane. Without a public meeting walking up and down when they're like three years old. Like, oh, this is great. I'm like, yeah, but this isn't other people's reality. So you have to be grateful for this. Do you find that they find it really wow now still, all that stuff? Yeah, they do.

That's so good. They are funny. She's like, oh, what? If we're going to see what? No, no, we're taking a picture of us when we can. Where's to flash? Yes. So funny.

Are we not doing this? Look in there. Where's the free popcorn, mum? Well, it's still free for you anyway, isn't it? It's all free. You're not free. Yeah. But I just think you have to get them used to,

because then nothing's, like, the world is the world. They need to be travelling to London and doing things and seeing things. Yeah, so true. We went to London, was it last week for the first time, for a little fan. Yeah. And he was so good. It was so good. I was just like, please be like this forever.

Yeah. But it's even, like, taking them out locally to things, because people might listen and be like, oh, well, not everyone can do all that. But I just think, go in places with them loads and getting them used to. We've always been good like that, though, like going to the coffee shops, going to the parks. Because I think some people were cabin feet. I get scared because they think, oh, they're going to misbehave and whatever.

And I just think, well, again, it's more normal, isn't it? But I think the world's got mental with this, that your kids are allowed to make noise now because everyone expects your child to be sat there with an eye. That's what I was so scared when he would make a noise in a plane. I was like, that will scare me if he starts. That's what we were worried about. I know it did. Also, can I just say, we've all been.

in babies. I was going to be if anyone says anything, I'd be like, was you not a baby? Oh sorry, you're the perfect

baby over there weren't you? You used the perfect baby We've got over that now. We were just worried that someone was going to say something to us and make him be quiet but I would have gone

but I'd just be like you have them. Exactly. You take him for a second. I just love to see their reaction those sorts of people. They yeah. My friend done a flight with

she's got four children and they're really young she's got like maybe four. under the age of five. Don't tell me she was on her own. She was on her own flying with him. She's great.

She's got twins as well. And I think she sat there one point. She was just drinking her red wine. I think the kids were doing whatever. She was like, what can she do? She's got four of them and she's on her own. Wow.

You're just got to get there. Yeah, you just got to do it. But I was just like anyone did kick off. And everyone judges. But I think people have honestly forgot that they were children months. I think they think kids now need to sit there and have them out. It's the eye roll that I don't like when people are giving you like a high world. I do think it's.

because a lot of people do give the tech. So we're used to seeing these kids with tech in front of them that keep them quiet. Yeah. Do you give your kids tech? Do you not? Oh God, we do. Yeah, we did it on the flight.

We did it in flight? Flight? Yeah. No, other time. No, we did. Actually, sometimes when we went to Japan, we gave him it at some of the dinners. We did a barbecue dinner.

It was like an open flame thing. And we were like, but we were like, he was good for 40 minutes. And then he was done. And I was like, well, we're not done. So I was like, here's your iPad. But other than that, but some point, then we were so exhausted. Yeah.

We were like, God, let's just give them one. I think you choose your battles, don't you? Yeah, you can't really do. But that was a battle. I would take loads of stuff out with us to do. And obviously, they're at the age where they can actually... A colouring. Is it like colouring?

He's just started to learn. He's just starting to grasp that. So just take all that out when you go out to evening. That's the sort of thing we need, isn't that? Our bag's always full of that stuff, isn't it? And like little brains to play. They're like clicky-turny type of thing. Yeah, for like two a second.

Fidgets, yeah, but everything's two seconds. Exactly. Literally, even when you've got the mouldy, it's two seconds. They're like, yep, that, next thing, next thing. Oh, guys, you got it on in front of you. We've got it all to look forward to. Anyway, thank you so much. Oh my God, thanks so much for having us.

Thank you. That's a wrap on another episode of Mums the Word. Thank you so much for joining us today as we were joined by the amazing Matthew and Ryan. Don't forget to leave us a review. Follow us on socials at at Mums the Word underscore pod and subscribe to our YouTube channel where you can watch this in full. Just search Mums the Word.

Until next time, I'm Kelsey Parker and this has been Mums the Word. And we'll be back with another episode, same time, same place next week.