Mum's The Word! The Parenting Podcast - 'Contraception Parks & Birthing a Velociraptor' | Comedian Hannah East on Unhinged Mum Life, Going on Tour & Why Yellow Is Her Era Now

Episode Date: August 2, 2026

This week Georgia Jones sits down with comedian and mum-of-three Hannah East for a chat that goes so far off-piste they have to remind themselves they're actually recording a podcast.Turns out these two go way back: Georgia handed Hannah her prize at Miss Scarborough nearly two decades ago, and they've somehow retraced almost the exact same path from pageants and presenting to parenting content ever since.Hannah gets real about building a following of hundreds of thousands from filming herself in wigs in her bedroom, the lactating video that changed everything after nobody cared about her fitness content, and going from five-people-and-a-bottle-of-red comedy gigs to a sold-out theatre tour her dad genuinely thought was a trip to the pub.Plus all the good stuff: why Center Parcs is basically contraception parks, dressing your kids in high-vis so you don't lose them, the mental load nobody warns you about, husbands and their paddle elbow, and exactly what to do (and never do) in a school WhatsApp group.Oh, and one of them may have fallen into a bush.Grab a cuppa and get comfy.A Create Podcast Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Welcome back to Mums the Word. I'm your host, Georgia Jones, and today I am joined by the brilliant Hannah East, comedian, mum of three, and the woman behind some of the most relatable parenting content on the internet. Hannah's built a huge following by finding the comedy in the chaos, the nappies, the school run, the toddler meltdowns, and everything in between that makes up real family life. Today she's here to share her journey, her wisdom and a good few laughs along the way. grab a cupper get comfy and let's jump in to a brand new episode of mum's the word. Hannah, thank you for joining us on Mum's the Word. To having me? It's lovely. As she walked in like a ray of sunshine,

it's like you knew what my set was going to look like and you've just blended in. I have, I'm just in my yellow era at the moment though. I love it. I got told one time on Instagram that yellow doesn't suit me and then I wore it a lot from that moment onwards. You did. So I was told when I was 20 by one of my best friends, she was like, not being rude, but she was like,

you really don't suit yellow. It just doesn't suit you at all. So this is the first time I've worn yellow since I've been like 20. Oh, are you still friends? Yeah, we are. She's brutal, yeah. Yeah, she's brutal. Yeah, I really want to get like the, you know,

you can get the color things done. Do you think that? Because when I watch them on Instagram, I'm like, can't see any bloody difference. Just put your picture in chat GPT. It'll tell you, save you 300 quid, won't it? And you just thought I'm like, you'll ask me what I'm going to do. Yeah, I do that. We can just chat everything now.

Yeah. We won't need to mother soon. We can just chat it. We're like, what? How do I, how do our parent? How do I deal with my son? Okay. Well, chat GPT says, I'm really angry at you.

Yes. Can you just have a read of this? Just go through this and that'll help. So Hannah, for anyone that does, doesn't know you that doesn't follow you idiots. What, who are you? What's your thing? Who am I? I don't, I'm hanging on by a thread. I don't even know who I am. Yeah, no, it's like, mum of three. You know, it's like, I'm constantly like, oh, I'm Bradley's mum or Logan's mom or Annabelle's mum. And you know when someone said, so what's your name? And you're like, my name. It's like,

oh, no, that's not relevant anymore because I'm mother. Like, mom? I don't know. I don't know what I'm about. I don't know. But yeah, a couple of years ago I just started making, well, one of my really good friends was going through a really difficult time postnatally. Oh, okay. And I used to make videos of myself at home, you know, the washing everywhere, like wet patches over your nips and, you know, that kind of stuff like, and I'd talk to her and be like, you know, if you think you're having a bad day, just so you know, this is what I'm doing. And she would really laugh about that silly stuff. Yeah. And then she said, oh, you should post that online. And I had like 150 followers on my Instagram page. I was like, oh, God, no, I wouldn't do that,

because people think I'm really weird. Because I've been. put wigs on and do really stupid unhinged look of a mother. Yeah. But how we all look at home anyway. Yeah. Real. Real life. And you brush my hair today for the first time in a week.

Oh my God. I washed mine. I was like, woo, what's going on? My hair smells, please. Yeah. It's like, oh, is this click. Oh, God. It's a shine to it.

Yesterday, I think I was, God, I must have been about a weekend. Yeah. And what I keep doing every morning when I wake up is just slick more and more conditioning mask on it thinking. fine because I'm doing a treatment. It's just later. I've been doing a treatment for three years. It sounds like a very long treatment. Yeah. It's the softest. It's everything. It's really shining. I've got to say. But yeah, I was like, just slicking it back. Yeah. I just thought, why not? I mean, what's the point if you're not going anywhere? Well, there is that. And then it's the,

like, I receded like Dracula after finish feeding each child. But after my third, I was like, when's it going to grow back? So, when? When is it going to grow back? So, when? Like I've got, there's a lot of tufts here. And like the hair, my hairdress is just like, you know when you get your foil stuff? And she gets the comb and they kind of weave it in and out. And she's sort of like, oh, dear. And she spends like five minutes trying to find the hair. She's like, I think we'll leave that because it might damage it a little bit.

Leave that dark bit there. Yeah, just leave it. So it looks really shit when you leave the salon. So yeah, that's kind of the look and vibe that I've gone for for my stuff. How young is your youngest then? So she's just turned three. last week. Oh, she's still a little more. So what age is have you got? So because we like to have summer babies. So what happens? Shag one once, yes. We go to, we go to centre parks in October.

Have a great time. And then I always get pregnant. So we've stopped going to centre parks. Now it's a great place, love it, but we need to keep away from there. She's a form of contraception. Yeah. Like shit happens in centre parks. So we, all my kids are born in like June July. Oh, lucky kids. Yeah, but it's not. We've just been talking about the heat. Yeah, but I'm a December baby. Cooper's a January baby. Oh, yeah. And it's shit. Does December, does it ruin Christmas for you?

It does. I just get double, I just get a one big present. And I'm like, oh, this is not fun. I don't want to. What dates your birthday? The sick. So it's not too close. Yeah. But still, people like to double it all up. Yeah. Yeah. A joint Christmas birthday. Yes. And what about your little boy? January.

Yeah, he's towards the end of January. date is my child's birthday 27th 27th it's fun I've remembered I do forget his birthday quite often I quite often will write the wrong

dates of birth into forms and it's like because they're all like June July and then I'll write the dates in and then my little boy said to me oh you put the wrong you put my birthday was in wrong you put Logan's birthday

for my birthday I was like yeah don't worry about it Bradley like I'm a mum that's what we do not perfect Yeah, never going to be accurate, am I? God. I mean, I don't know what I do for three.

I can barely remember my only child's birthday. You just can't, like, we normally like one-on-one marking with the kids when we had two, so it wasn't too bad. But adding a third in, it's like zonal marking. They're all in high-vis clothes when we're going on an outing so I can, like, look up and see where they've gone. Do you know what? That is so interesting you say that, because Cooper had his last day of school the other day,

and they all go to like this big park. Yeah. Like every year goes to this big park at the end. And I was like, why every year do I not think to dress my child in like a bright neon colour so that I can see him? Because it's free for all on that field. I mean. It's dressed.

I get really bad anxiety in airports. Once I was, we were going away and I couldn't see my eldest. I think he was about seven at the time. And I just had like, Annabelle. And I was like, oh my God, I don't know where he is. And, you know, and you're quite unhinged once you've had a baby. And she was in, she just. pooed and I needed to feed her and it was like just and then I looked around and then I looked up

and Bradley was climbing up the like a pole and I was like Bradley what you know I was like no no it's not we're not a climbing frame but because it was like a bit of a frame you know for like workmen to climb up this pole and he literally was climbing up and I was like get down from there but I knew he he was there because he had a bright orange t-shirt on yeah I've got I've got the um what you call them rash vests for swimming. Yeah. Because Cooper's obsessed

with going in the sea. You know, I'm petrified of the sea. I am. So it puts fear of God into me when he's in there. But yeah, I've got like the,

you know, you see all those things of don't dress them in blue or pale colours because they disappear in the water, don't they? Yeah. So he is hideously neon.

Like an eight-foot shark face. And he's like, there he is. There's my boy. There he is. I'm not told him yet that there's been a spotting of a great white

in the Mediterranean. I did Google it yesterday. Find out which area of the Mediterranean? It's Italy, so we're all right. I was like, Italy's very close to the UK though, isn't it? So were you not going to sea? I'll paddle. Yeah, but is that ankle height or do you mean?

I'd maybe go up to my vagina. Okay. Yeah. Okay. If I need a wee. Let's get your minginjinn. Yeah, I'll get me mingin. Everyone knows I'm going for a wee.

When you get packed. If they see me waist high, they had nothing to see it. It's very warm in this area. It's not right to we're in the sea, isn't it? Everyone we're in the sea there, don't they? We went on a holiday recently, a girls trip, and there was like this huge hen party there. And I was watching them.

They're all having a great time in the pool. And all of a sudden I was like, they've all been in there for about three hours. And they've been drinking bottles and bottles of rosé. I was like, they're all just sat weird. Having the time of their life. Yeah, 100%. And I looked at the pool.

I was like, this pool is actually getting cloudy. It got, it was very nice pool But yeah, I was like, you're all just weeing over there And it's when you see little kids get in And put their faces under And you're like, there is remnants of, I don't know what, in there Oh, I know. You just got to go with it, I suppose, don't you?

Just don't put your face in. Pissy pool, just don't put your face. We can't really do it with that hair, though, can we? No. Well, it might wash my hair for me, to be honest. Yeah. Another treatment. Yeah, a bit of chlorine.

I probably need a chlorine bath on my hair just to get all the shit out of it. Yeah. So you started, sorry, we totally went off on a time. We did. We just talked about vaginas in the scene. What happened? I love it.

So you started doing these little comedy sketches for your mate. How lovely that you did that as well, though. I know. Have you always been, like, quite comedic? So, well, you won't remember this, but I met you years ago. And I remembered that I met you years ago because, you know what, a time hop thing on Facebook, right? Yeah. So, I've, I'm, yeah.

Right. So when I went on Gladiators, the TV show years ago. Yeah, I was a contestant. Oh my God, isn't it? I know, I know. That's incredible. And that's how I met my husband, because he was one of the trainers on the show. No way.

Yeah, so that was nearly 18 years ago. Oh, my God. It's really random. And then Caroline Flack went off to get her makeup redone or something. So Ian Wright was stood there. Yeah. And I was in my Lycra's. And he said, oh, Hannah, can you just read the auto queue for me?

So I was like, right, okay. And then I'd messing about with him, read the auto cue. And he's like, you should be a presenter. You should be a sports presenter. Honestly, it's like really good. I was like, oh, thanks. And I thought, how do you get, how do you even do that? How did you get into presenting?

Yeah. Because I just finished university. I'm stood there on the gladiators. Like, you know, how do you do that? So I thought, right, I'm going to try and get a job hosting, presenting, doing events. So one of the first events, actually the first event that I presented was Miss Scarborough. Oh my God, I was literally about to say it. It was Missy. It was a Miss, wasn't it? Miss, so I did all the regional. So with Vivian. Do you remember Vivian?

My, Hannah, I know you. Oh my God. Yeah, so I did. What the hell? Me and Hannah have had a whole of the life. So what year did you, because the year that you... I would 2007. Right, so I started probably 2009. So you came to Scarborough and what the two? twins called with a blonde Amanda and Sam? Yeah, were they in Big Brother? They were in Big Brother. That's it, yeah. So they came and then I did my first ever presenting job for Miss Scarborough. Oh. And you came and handed out the prizes. I must have a picture of you and me together as well somewhere. Like it came up on my... Oh my God, we need to find it. It's so weird. And we need to post it. Can we put this on the...

We'll find it. Yeah, on the stories of moms and women. words when this episode comes out. Hannah, right? Do you know what? Now you're not seeing it, I completely recognise, like I didn't recognise you from back then. Yeah. And then there was Rona who used to, she ran all these Midlands. Oh, the little small woman. With dark hair. Yes. Yeah. Yeah. And so she, um, she was so good to me because she was like, right, you present all the like heats around the country. And you'd turn up and there'd be like two, three hundred people sat in the crowd. So for me, that was like, it was all like, you know, box pops interviews with every contestant and you have different categories. And so at that point, my husband, to be, Andy, always drove me to every show.

Yeah. And he used to, they'd get like domino's pizzas and stuff. So he'd be like, I'll give all the dominoes out. And I was that, it's really nice of you, Andy, like helping out. And then there was one time, all the girls are in the changing room and he's walking around. They're waiting. They're all like half naked. He's like, do you want some pizza?

And I'm like, Andy, no, I don't think you're supposed to. I think you just put them on the tables. I can see what you're doing on here. Yeah, I can see what's going on here. I thought you were just helping. Yeah. Oh, no, no. No, I'll take you to that one.

Who's in that heat then? Yeah, who's in that heat? Oh, my God. So that's how I started my like presenting journey. That was like my first, the best experience I've ever had of presenting doing, then I went on to like shopping channels before I went on to like Sky and stuff. Yeah. Right. Right.

Yeah. Oh my God. Isn't it? Crazy. I know. I know. Yeah. I completely remember all of this.

I remember your face. I remember from back in the day, I can't wait to see the picture. Yeah. You send it to me. I'll find it. Yeah, yeah. I'll send it. Wow. I know. So you went, well, we've had quite a similar path. It's just I'm not funny. So I don't do that. But yeah, we've had quite a similar road, really, haven't we? Yeah. And both northern. Oh, both northern. Are you from Scarborough there? So I'm from North Allerton. You're from North Allerton. Yeah, but my parents live in Scarborough. Right. Still? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Do you ever go home? I'm going there tonight. Are you? Oh my God. So my husband's driven the kids. My husband's from York. Is he? Yeah, yeah.

Stanford Bridge. Oh my gosh. Yeah, so we do. Basically is reminiscing at this time. I know, sorry. Are we doing a podcast here? What's going on? I don't know what's going on.

Yeah. Crazy. Crazy. I'm from Moulton, so I'm in between York and Scarborough. Yeah. Love Moulton. It's nice, isn't it? Food capital of the north.

Yeah, obviously. Obviously. Obviously. I mean, we digress again. But hey, that's what we do on this podcast. So then you started posting comedy online because your friend said, do it. Yeah, she was like, do it. And there was like one mum that followed me at school.

And I was like, oh, this is really embarrassing. Because like she sees me like in a wig in my daughter's bedroom. Yeah. It just, it feels a bit weird. Yeah. And I've run like an online fitness business for a long time. Yeah. And I've always like posted.

I've spent ages getting like cameramen to film me doing workouts and tell women how to help themselves get fit and healthy and strong. nobody gives a shit. The second I post something about lactating and wetting myself, it was like, oh, that video's done really well. Yeah. It's like, when you posted your first one, like, what was it, was there quite a lot of interaction with it?

So it got the first one within like two days had like 30 or 40,000 views. Oh my gosh. Which considering there was nothing before, I didn't even know what hash. I don't even know if I put hashtags on it. I didn't even know what I was doing. I just posted it. Yeah.

And then it was like a few comments on there of like, I feel seen or oh this makes me feel less alone. Yeah. And I was like, oh, right. And then the following started to go up a little bit. And I think it's my friend, she'd message me constantly being like, oh my God, 5,000 followers, 7,000 followers. And you know when you get to 10,000 you can do a swipe up.

Oh, yeah. It changes the game, doesn't it? I felt so bougie at that point. I could do a swipe up. I don't know what I'm swiping up for, but I could do a swipe up if I wanted to. And then it just became like, I just kind of like, kept doing it like a couple of reels a week, just stuff that I do. Yeah. And that's still what I do now is just what, like, the reel that I posted today was one about, uh, if I was a midwife. Oh, sorry. And what I would say.

So I just filmed that yesterday in a wig. Yeah. In my bedroom really quickly. So I write it out my notes of what I'm going to say roughly and then just add lib a bit. Yeah. And then edit it on the train and then post it and stuff. It's just so funny, Hannah. Like, do you know, I actually, Anna, I heard say this. I thought I followed you because I watch your stuff all the time. But And I went on and I was like, hang on a second. Why am I not actually following Hannah? This makes no sense. Well, this has affected our relationship, Mitch.

I'm really ever so sorry. I just have to admit that because you'll see that I've just followed you. I'm just on your feed. Well, that's it. You are so my algorithm. You're there all the time. And it's brilliant and I love it. And you are so funny.

There's been, oh, there was one the other day that you posted. And oh, what was it? Was it one you posted the other day? It might have been one. of your pinned ones at the top and it was like, hello, I'm just, I'm just, oh, it was NCT. Oh yeah, yeah, yeah. Because there's some things that you didn't really, they weren't really quite right. And it was like, I'm like, water's breaking.

And you said it was something like a lorry on the M25. Yeah. I was like, yes, because don't you feel like with NCT? They should be a bit more honest about things. It's hard because a couple of people that work for the NCT groups messaged me after that reel and that was one of my first reels that I ever posted. Right. And was like, actually, you know, we're trying to help people and be informative. It's like, no, I know that you are and I'm not like criticising you specifically. But it's when you're in a room with people and they say,

you have a paracetamol and you can breathe the baby out. Yeah, yeah. But it's like, I've never breathed my babies out. Like I've needed medical intervention. You're not been... You turn animalistic, don't you? Yeah. I turn into Wolverine. Oh, I mean, I, I, I, I mean, I I turned into a cow. Well, I've only done it once, but I just moved my entire way. Did you? But it's actually a thing. Yeah.

Like I was with all three of mine, like, lean it holding onto the bed, and my muscles were like popping out. And I was like, ugh. And my husband was like, you're okay, babe? Just like, breathe in that. Just breathe. I'm like, shut up.

Yeah, I'm breathing. It's just loud. Yeah, just like at Wolverine. Yeah, yeah, it's so mad to do. You go, you just turn into like a wild animal when you do you do. But your body just takes over. Yeah.

And you have no control over what is, when the baby's come in or what is happening. But I wish somebody would have told me that. Yeah. Like all the things I post on my Instagram is like, I wish I'd have seen that before I actually had a baby. Not to scare me. No. But to be able to go, oh, actually, oh, I get it now. Like it is going to be bits where it's going to go like, oh shit, that really hurts.

Oh, God. Yeah. Is this what happens? Yeah. You know, like how many people tell you it's like a strong period pit? And I'm like, it couldn't be any further from a strong period pain. Whilst birthing a velociraptor, like that that isn't strong period pain, hon. Like, I get bad period pain, but that ain't like, yeah.

Yeah, I hear it. No, lie to us. Again, maybe you should do a comedy NCT group where you just, you make light of it. Maybe I should. That'd be such a good idea. Well, that is a great idea. I'd come to it and I'm not even pregnant. I'm just come and watch.

Like, I'm just, why is Georgia at the NCC? C Tea classic age. I actually like Hannah. She's really funny. Just fancied a laugh. So I thought I'd come on over. So you're going on tour. Yeah.

So you're not just doing it on Instagram anymore. No. You're doing it alive on stage. Did that come after the Instagram then, the comedy on stage? Yeah. So I think I've been posting for about a year and then McIntyre,

Phil McIntyre, a lovely lady called Amy. She messaged me and was like, you should do your own show. Yeah. And I think, think I just sent like a laughing emoji back. But I've been doing stand-up for about eight years now.

Oh, wow. It's been a thing that I'd love doing stand-up. Yeah. Not the, because a lot of people that do comedy, the most insecure, secure people you'll ever meet. Yeah, I've heard that a lot about comedians. It's weird, like going in a green room before you do a gig. I'm like procrastinating everything.

Like, why am I doing this? I'm not funny. I look around at the fire escapes. I'm like, I could go out of that fire escape and nobody would know. And they're going to say my name. And then they'll be like, right, and next up, we've got Hannah East. And then you think, oh, shit, they've said my name now. Like, I'm going to have to do it.

And just before I go on, I'm like shaking like a leaf. I'm so nervous. Is that every time? Yeah, pretty much. Yeah. But now I'm doing my own show. Yeah. Like, I did all the work in progress shows last year.

And then I've done, like, 13 dates of the first leg of this tour already. Wow. Have you added? Yeah. Oh, I need to come and watch you. And I still get really nervous. But what I got nervous about before. is like the amount of people that have fallen asleep while I've been doing stand-up.

Like I'll go to... Yeah, but they're all homes that are exhausted. No, it's not. The mums aren't out. It's the dads. Mums are at home looking after the kids' head. So it's like the dads, a couple of gigs in Lester where there's like a Thursday night, 7 o'clock, there's about 15 new material acts on.

I'm probably number 10. And people have had a bottle of red by this point. The lights are dim. And I'm getting up talking about mum life and parenting. It's like what I realized when I thought, should I maybe give up comedy? Because I wasn't getting paid for it. I wasn't getting fuel or anything. It was like me giving up my time to go and do stand up.

And there'd be like five, six people there, three or four of which couldn't care less about lactating and incontinence. And what it's like as a working mum and stuff. They're just not my audience. So when Amy was like, you should do a show, it was like, I've got material in my moment. my head and I'm making all this content and I get I I know what direction I'd go down. Yeah. And then it was one night I just kind of woke up and I was like yeah, I actually the stuff that is being relatable and hitting with people. It's like right, that's my niche. That's where I want to go for. And I just love doing. I've just been, I've done,

been through it three times. And you know, after having Annabel, who's just turned three, you kind of like, it's all been, three experiences being completely different. Yeah. But it's like same same in your head of like oh yeah forgot that stage you very quickly forget and then move on to the next stage and you think oh my god weaning and then you forget how much pressure you put on yourself and you look at other mum's but I just feel like there needs to be a Bible of comedy

and taking the piss out of being a mum and you can just flick through it and go oh my god I feel normal now yeah well your your Instagram is that really Bible yeah of what like almost like what you think but don't say yes and that's it though and that's what I love about about you is that you do say the things and they need to be said and they need to be out in the open and everyone's been like,

oh thank God for that. I'm not the only one that feels that way. I'm not the only one that's had their bits ripped to pieces. You know, when Cooper came out, came out like he was diving and his nails did the damage. Because you know they've got long, yeah. You know they've got long nails when they come out. Yeah.

Yeah. He clawed, basically clawed his way out. Clored out of your fan who used to get out. Wow. And you know when they call, when they say, we're just going to stitch that greys up. I'm like, I've never known a graze to be stitched. So I don't know what you think that grays. You're like that. Why are we here for two hours? Like, how big was the graze? Yeah. I thought you just put a blaster on a graze. I remember the gas and air with all three of them, like breathing in and out like real, like tore front to back. I mean. Oh, did you? Yeah. Oh, yeah, it was horrendous. And you can feel like second and third time,

Like, there we go. Did you turn every time? Yeah, yeah. Oh, Jesus Christ. And second time round, this woman was like, I remember I was with a gas and air. Like, really, and I was like, it's not numb. And I was trying to like breastfeed and take this gas and air and it wasn't numb. And she was going at it. And then she like popped her head up. She was like, who stitched you up first time? And I was like, well, it's this really small man with brown hair. And she went, she goes, have you been wetting yourself a lot? And I was like, yeah. And then she was like, you won't do this time. walked out there. Like, they're like, great. Yeah. Thanks, babes. Oh my God. Isn't that terrible that someone stitch you up in a way that means you're going to wet yourself? Yeah.

Where is the care for us? Like, where is the, like, I didn't ask for like a hot cross bun to be stitched. I don't know what was going on there. I remember the first, after I had my first baby, the midwife was like, just don't look. Don't look down there for about six weeks. Just don't do it. You don't need to do it to yourself. Did you do it?

So the first thing I did was I went home, went upstairs, and I was, I was shocked. I was like, what the fuck is that? I was powerful. It was angry. Oh. I don't know what it. It just looked like chicken wire everywhere. So I phoned my husband and I was like, you're never going to want to have sex with me ever again.

Was this after you first? Yeah. And I was like, if you want to, I was so, I don't think I'd slept for about six weeks. And I was like, if you want to, like, get a hooker, like get a prostitute, something like that. Just make it an arrangement. I just, you can do that. Don't tell me, but you can't do anything with this. So then one of my other friends, my male friends, was like with my husband.

He's like, I think you should probably maybe go home and just take Hannah a bar of chocolate. Like I don't know if she's okay. And my husband was like, yeah, but she said I could go with like. But I thought, just give me the green light. My husband was like, is there any more Miss England pageants around here? We're going to find my next second wife. Oh my God. I'm a bit young, pretty much.

I know, yeah. Maybe a bit too young at that point. But yeah, it was a bit traumatising. Oh, it is. Got a little one at age 3 to 11 and thinking about a school in London. We want to tell you about somewhere a bit special. Alan's Regents Park is built around a simple idea

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Find out more at allens-regentspark.org.com or find them on Instagram. Alan's Regent Park, all we can be. Do anyone listening that hasn't had a baby yet? It does go back. It's never quite the same, but it doesn't look like that forever, does it? No, just a period. It's like cutting yourself, isn't it? Just to highlight everyone, if we can see you this, it's not...

What did you do yesterday? I got a bit of drunk and ran into a bush. But when you started telling me that story, you didn't say there was... I didn't say there was alcohol, I accidentally scratched myself. I was misjudged the deal. distance of the bush and then Hannah was like, was there any alcohol involved? Yes. Yes, mum. When you went for one? I just wanted to do. Your shit face fell into a tree. Yeah. That's what happened.

Let's say how it is. Well, actually, my little boys with my mum and dad at the moment. Oh, right. So I've got a bit of... I had a bit of time to get shit first and fall into a tree without without paying for it with a babysitter being at home. Because that's what I said to Danny as well. I was like, when do we, when do we get chance to do this where we're not paying a fortune for somebody to look after our child. And then you can't really relax because you're like, right, if we've got till 11, we can have a couple, but you can't be like, lose your inhibitions on like a girl's trip where you can be like, oh, do you just have one more?

You can't do that. Yeah, no. And then you know the kids will be up the next day anyway. Yeah. So you've got like a prolonged period where you can be like, do you know what, we could have another one. Have a date night. That's the hardest thing to navigate as a parent, isn't it?

I don't remember the last time we actually properly had a date night, birthdays. birthdays, birthdays are date nights but then they're always the most expensive date you've ever been on because it's a birthday so you go somewhere fancy and then you're paying for the babysitter normally because your parents are both yours

and your husband's parents still up north? Yeah. Yeah. How did you find that with having three? Well, it's... Are you in London? Loughborough. Loughbara.

Yeah. So it's a bit of a juggle trying to navigate around like my kids I put my kids to bed every night so in my head it's like I put the kids to bed go out and do stand up do a gig so I'll never do a gig too far away especially on a school night because I need to do the kids homework and reading so I'll always make sure that I'm not on first so then I can get there a little bit later so I could get there for half eight so that means I can put the kids to bed and and juggle it around that that's good that you do that you do that

try and do it but then when I'm on tour it's a little bit harder so we do have to recruit the grandparents to come and stay for sort of prolonged periods of time. Yeah. Yeah. Especially for the second leg of my parents are moving in for six weeks. And they actually, yeah. Oh my God, go on parents. Yeah.

Does your granddad? Does your dad not have like a garden that he's got to water? He does. Yeah, he did. Literally. It's so funny you say that because he's like, who's going to water my plants? Oh, honestly. I was like, but think of all the time that you can spend watering my plants in my garden.

Yes. My garden's going to be thriving. Oh my God. His of his shit, whatever. I don't care. It's fine. I thought it was like, I don't think it was you. It was never, you never have busier people than your retired parents. Oh, God, do you.

And when you ring them and you're like, could you look after Cooper on this day? Well, I've got to pick up my prescription from the pharmacy on that day. And I'm like, can you pick it up a different? When I do have an optician's appointment, I'm like, well, can you do it? Can you move it? Could you just move it? So you can come and look after my doctor? child for me please. No it's can you babysit your own grandchild?

Yeah. And then you're like please help me. Like how how else can you navigate and juggle? Because I'm really particular with who looks after my kids as well. Like I know most people are but I'm really like you know with sleepovers and stuff my kids haven't really had sleepovers and stuff yet. I'm a bit weird about it. Yeah. So my middle child he has to have an injection every day every night before bed. So I'm like oh you know we need to get these do this or just keep you at home. Yeah. So it's only really grandparents that...

Because that is tricky though. How old is your little boy? Eight. Oh, yeah. Because he obviously wouldn't be able to do it himself either. No, not yet. No, he'd be injecting his eyeballs or something. Not yet.

Not yet. Not yet. Oh, bless him. Yeah. So that does make it a bit tricky as well. Yeah. Where am I going? Brain fog.

No. It's all right. You know when it throws you off and you like, shit. I just digress. So I'm like, what did you fucking ask? I don't know. Oh my God. I have to have. I've got about five different things to tell me what's happening. I've got calendar on my phone. I've got a diary. I've got a wall calendar. Have you? Oh, I've got so many things because I just can't remember. And is that a thing since you had a baby?

Yeah. But also, it's very tricky for a woman because you're like, is it because my mental load is heavy and full and overflowing. Is it because I'm starting the menopause? Could it be that? Yeah. Perimenopause. Is it because I'm just absolutely fucking knackered? Oh, you just hung over? Because you went out and got pissed last night. Am I hung over? That's what it is. What is it? God one. Irresponsible person. I am coming on a podcast, slightly hung up. No, I'm not hung up. But it is, it is a genuine thing where it is hard because you've got so many tabs open. Oh. On the way here today, I'm like editing a reel for like a brand that I need to send in, that I quickly film.

Everything's like quickly. Let me just quickly do that. Yeah. We quickly do that. And then when the things don't fall in, like I packed the car this morning before I left here, my husband is driving the kids to Scarborough. So I've packed all the bags. You're doing the train? Yeah.

So I'm going up on the train. Oh, you go through Malton. I hope, yeah. Hopefully I get a G&T and a can on the way before. Oh, yeah. That would be lush. Watch out for the bushes. Yeah.

Be careful not to fall over. But then it's my husband's like, oh, so I need to take the kids. in the cut, all three of them. So I've charged the iPads, got everything ready. But all doing that, getting my house sorted for not being in, because I'm a bit weird about having to have the bed in. Same. Yeah, I'm really weird about, yeah, bins, make sure everything's clean.

So I think if somebody broke in and was about to burgle, at least let them walk in and go, I'll tell you what, this is a tidy house. Tell you, I'm going to steal that computer, but the house is ever so clean. Yeah, absolutely pristine. Yeah, we're on the door frames. Bloody L she's on it, this one.

She's a cleaner, let's go. I literally do that. every time I go away. You're nice for those burglars, aren't you? I know. I left him some juice on the side. Some cookies. No, I'm exactly the same as you though.

You have to... But men don't think of it. Cleared the fridge out, everything, wiped everything down. If me and Danny went away and I left all that to him, we would come back to a rotting house. Yeah.

And we'd have about 20 mice. Fruit flies. Oh, everything. Yeah. But they don't... And I always wonder, like, I really want to see. see some research into this as to whether we just do it because it's almost expected or whether we do it because it's just what women do.

Yeah. Or whether it's because men are completely incapable of thinking of things like that. Or have we created it? Because you know when you first get with someone? Created a monster? Yeah, created a monster. Oh God, I've created a monster. That's it.

It's our own fault. Apple. Never got blamed ourselves. When me and Andy got together, it was like, you know, I wanted to take that role of like keeping everything clean, tidy. You have your first baby, and it's like, I was like, okay, I can manage this. And then my career is like changed quite a bit over the last sort of two, three years. So me going on tour means that Andy is having to put the kids to bed when I'm not there.

Or do these extra bits that he didn't do at the start. And it's like he's had to change because of it and stuff. And I think some guys can do it and other guys, it's probably quite daunting. And it's about confidence, isn't it, a lot of the time? Yeah. So my husband driving up today is fine because I've got everything packed. Everything was by the door in bags. Just ready to go.

Ready for him to just put in the car and go. Because I know that he's probably quite stressed out. But maybe in the past I could have been a bit more like, no, you do that. Yeah. You know, kind of sit there and say, are you going to tidy that up? Or it's just easier if you do it yourself. Well, that's the thing. You make more work for yourself.

And then normally what happens is the kids suffer. Because I was like, you know, I'm not going to do that. I am not going to get Cooper school uniforms. ready because because and then and then it was like darling where's cooper's uniform i'm like well in the in the wash because you know basically i'm setting you up for a fall today yeah so and then i'm like oh no my child's going to school in your dirty uniform now now he looks like he's not loved smells like sugar puffs filthy it smells like sugar puffs and then it's a reflection on you exactly and i'm like it's not worth it no it's not just do yourself i do do washing bans only for danny's

clothes in our house because oh my god yeah so we call it mount kilimanjaro that um grows by the side of his of clothes that i've washed that he then rifles through and then because he doesn't know what's clean and what's dirty fuming it all up and puts it back in the wash fuming absolutely livid and i said to him and i've done it a few times now i'm like i'm not doing any more washing for you until you put that way and what does he say it works oh does he says nothing silence and then i'll go upstairs and he'll be ferreted around having everything will really I've just got visions of like Danny and Cooper in their bedrooms like quick she's not happy

I think she's due on quick put your clothes away quick get some chocolate she's booming today I got yesterday me and Danny went on a run together now I'm quite a solo runner so I was already a bit pissed off that he was coming for a run with me turned out turned out to be really really nice in the end but I don't know what

happened or what came over me but I was so irritated with him running next me. Breathing. Just living next to me. I was like, can you just not run so close to me? And he was like,

fucking hell, Georgie. He's like, what's wrong with you? I don't know. You're just ever so close. I mean, he wasn't. I just didn't like it.

It's weird. I think there must be a name for that. Because sometimes I'll be driving home and I'll think a couple of years, I'll be obviously during my period. Yeah. And I think a couple of years ago, Andy said something to me

and it really affected me, really bothered me. And then I'll get into the front door. And he might say something and I'll be like, oh. But you know when you see like E.T. with that big hat on and a little dress where it's like, it's showtime. And then you just think, like, why do we do that? It's just like you just like, you just want an argument sometimes, don't you?

It's like, something just ignites inside you. Like, I'm livid. I am angry with you. With you? Why? Because you're breathing. Yeah, because you're existing and I'm angry about it right this second. But I love you.

Must be hard to be a guy sometimes, to be fair. With a hormonal woman? Yeah. I think they have periods though. Yeah. Don't you think there's times of the month where they're just a bit aggy? Yeah. It's like, oh, what you, I'll always be, I always say this to him, it must be so irritated.

Like, what are you in a mood for? How come you're in a mood? And I remember once our friend came to the house and he heard me say it to Andy. And Andy was like, there's nothing wrong with him. He was in a mood. So I was asking him why he's in a mood, which would make him even more of a mood. Oh, yeah. And then I said, oh, Andy, do you know what?

You could argue with yourself in a phone box, you could. And I think I was saying it for a reaction. And my friend was like, if you said that to me, I'd literally be so irritated with you. Like, why? It's like you're just poking him. And I was like, am I? And I didn't even realize I was doing it.

Do you ever think you're like, because you're obviously a comedian, do you ever kind of like use that in arguments? I'm so sarcastic. I'm awful. My husband doesn't find anything I do funny. Are you joking? I'm not fucking not joking.

He literally, I'll make you real. But what I've realized, he's not my audience. He's not your audience. He's not. And I do talk about him a lot in my show And I talk about my mother-in-law as well Which is really awkward Because she came to my first show

And I play a bit of content Yeah On the screen of me pretending to be a mother-in-law And that was a bit awkward But I did brief her first Because I said obviously You've never said any of this stuff I mean literally she said all of it

She looked at me after a bit like But yeah I'll show him a couple of real that I've made and he'll watch and then I can see him half what you know like that nasal yawn yeah you can see them yawning but not and he's like oh good like when you're at school and you're really boreded maths and you do a nose yawn it's like he looks at my content like that and he's he just doesn't find it funny apart from like the golf reels that I do right oh yeah I do a few of those but he knows that like tomorrow he's playing golf I'm like oh I'll come with you because then I can make

some reels as we're going around he's like baby it's like I can't we can't we can't just make like reels for you like I can't film you very much when we're teeing off I'm like oh you can yeah I'll have a golf buggy and like I'll have it all planned in my head walk around with him and it's like he gets livid really livid yeah well I mean I think they go to golf to escape from us though Hannah yeah they do yeah for too long you're going I'll come with you I'm like oh god get a short of hobby then Andy yeah oh you don't need to do 18 holes at least he doesn't play cricket it could be worse well the I have heard no he's not he no he's He doesn't. No, no, but I've heard cricket and golf and triathlons.

Does he do triathletes? No, he used to be a G.B. DeCathlete. So I'm happy that he stopped that since we got together because that would be, that's two days of competing. That's a lot, isn't it. Yeah, so he just, yeah, I think eight, well, six hours of golf isn't too bad. I saw you, I saw you, a reel on, that you did on that, of like, oh yeah, yeah, you go early tea off time and then, and then you're playing paddle tomorrow. And I was like, I sure. that's Danny, I was like, this is you. This is you.

He's like, he's like, he found that one quite funny because he was like, he could really relate. It's funny because it's true. Yeah, exactly, exactly. It's amazing. That one really, really tickled me because, God, paddle. Honestly, it's his life at the moment. He's got paddle elbow at the moment.

And I've not heard the end of it. How does he recover from paddle elbow? Who knows, Hannah. Not by not playing paddle, that's for sure. More paddle. More paddle. He went to me the other day. He sprained his ankle really badly.

And he was like, it recovered quite quickly, actually, didn't it? I was like, are you, are you having a laugh? I was like, you had a sprained ankle for about three months because you wouldn't rest on it. It was swollen. It was terrible. I was like, what part of your memory just forgot that you were a hobbling wreck for three months? That's why you couldn't put his washing away. That was it.

Isn't it? It was it, because it did affect his hands. Yeah, completely. God, that sprained ankle meant he couldn't use. uses arms. It affected everything. School run the lot. Yeah, yeah.

It does with men, doesn't it? It affects everything. So you're doing Fringe Festival? Yes. Which is exciting. I know. And it's your first year doing it. Yes, yeah.

So I've done Glasgow and Edinburgh on the first leg of this tour. Yeah. My mum's from, I'm half Scottish. Oh, are you? Yeah, yeah. So it's lovely when I first went up there because a lot of my family came to watch the shows in Scotland. How do you feel when, sorry, spin,

How do you feel when like, obviously you said about your mother-in-law, but when your family come, do you feel a bit more, like, a bit awkward or not? Well, yeah, because I like talk about, like, Rudy Doodies and my dad came to watch my show and all I was worried about the whole time when I was doing like thrusting impressions or, you know, how you get pregnant, talking about that process where I'm aware that my dad doesn't want to hear that. Yeah. And then some of the stuff that I said in, like, the reels that I play,

I was like, I don't think, and I swear. Yeah. and say like the F word. And it's like, I know my dad's maybe heard me a couple of times say the F word, but I swear a bit more because I sort of exaggerate, that unhinged mum kind of vibe. And yeah, I was really nervous about what my dad would think. And what did he say?

Well, he said, it goes, well, I didn't, because the one that he came to was at the Lowry in Manchester. And he got there and he was like, so where's Hannah then? And my brother was like, well, that's her post, that's Hannah in the picture. And he was like, oh God. And then they went into the theatre. My dad was like, bloody oh, I thought we were going to a pub. And my brother was like, no, Dad, she's like sold out like most of the tour.

It's like, this is, it's in a theatre. And then he said, well, there was a woman next to me, Hannah. And she says, she finds you really funny. And she follows you on Instagram. Isn't it funny on there? Shocks about that. Has your dad got Instagram? No. No.

So you don't understand. They're just so apart from that world, aren't they? This woman sat next to me. She follows you online. She said she watches your reels. She liked your reels. Yeah, Dad, that's how well. She bought a ticket to come and see you, Hannah.

It was like, 550 people there. My dad was like, so who's on after? My brother was like, no, Dad, they've come to see Hannah. It's Hannah. It's his show, Dad. Which in itself is weird, because it's just me at home, making reels in wigs in my bedroom. Yeah. So when I go to the shows and when I go to them,

when I do my show and perform at them. When you go, when you go watch your show, yeah. Like, oh, who's that laugh? up there oh it's me it's me it's really it's really weird it's a really weird it's so nice to meet people at the end where you know you say about paddle or golf and I think oh yeah I forgot I said that or you know because it was a while ago yeah and I'm just talking about my life that is kind of replicated for other women you know to feel less alone it's it's a strange really strange thing and what's going to happen as well because you obviously it's your life that you kind of document in is that

it's going to keep changing so there's going to be more more like it's like your um what's it what's it called when it's my brain but your material almost like writes itself yeah doesn't it because as your kids grow more and more things change as your husband plays more sport more and more things change doesn't it more trending stuff for the husbands to do like they have these amazing hobbies it's like I don't have a hobby like my hobby is writing comedy material for for work yeah but for me that's my yeah it's my hobby yeah and it's really Like, I'm looking at him and he's like, he's got my eldest into golf. Well, my two boys both play golf.

Oh, so do my. And it's like, oh, isn't that lovely? But my 10-year-old, he's actually very good at golf. Is he? Yeah, and I did, I used to present the PGA Europroteur on Sky Sports. So, like, I do know a bit about golf. Yeah, yeah. I'm not an expert, but I do, I do know.

Yeah. And that's the funny bit when people say, oh, you know, you shouldn't say, or they'll say online, you shouldn't have had kids then. You know where they say stuff? Oh, she doesn't even know what she's talking about. Or, yeah, it's always middle-aged men at like three, four in the morning. And you see that they've commented on, like, something that you've posted. So I just started to do disclaimers now.

Like, today I've posted the midwife reel. I was like, just a disclaimer. Like, I'm not midwife and this is just a joke. Yeah. Like, it's just a joke. I mean, that's the thing, like, that's what I find really hard to understand sometimes how people can be offended by comedy. Have you ever watched it where there's like someone doing stand-up

and then someone walks out because they're really offended by a joke that someone's told. And it's like, if you're going to be offended, don't go watch comedy. Yeah. Like, it's as simple as that. I went to the comedy, the secret comedy club. Yes, yeah, yeah. And it was great because Joanne McNally was on. Oh, she.

Yeah, and obviously you don't know. And she rocked. I was like, oh my God, I listened to her podcast. This is brilliant. Someone before her told a joke and these people that were sat on the front row. Oh, no. All got up and walked off. So I was like, oh, I was like,

brilliant, I went and took the seats. You definitely not coming back? Well, then they came back. Then they came back, which was... Oh, did they? Yeah, and I was like, well, you left? And they were like, well, we're back. It's such a standoff in the comedy club.

Did you? Yeah, and I was like, I'm going to have to move because otherwise this is going to turn into someone's joke and I don't really want to be. It's going to be in the Daily Mail tomorrow, isn't it? Yeah, George Jones. Be careful. He starts fighting.

Aggressive mother. Aggressive mother. Steal seats. And they'll change it from a secret. comedy club to being at like the school festival, Halice Festival. She was punching people and you were like, oh my God, what? She got arrested. She was drunk.

She fell in a bush on her way in. Watch her. She's got previous. Hannah, we're nearly at the end of this now. Are we? I'm so sorry because there's so many things I wanted to talk to you about school WhatsApp groups. Oh God. I haven't even touched on that.

Love the school WhatsApp groups. Very quickly what your thoughts on them. You love them. So I rely on them to find everything out, but I also use. them for material. Right. Because it's like, all that needs to be said on it is just label your kids' clothes. If you have lost Oscar's jumper, if Oscar's your son, you've lost his jumper,

and you message in the group, not everybody needs to reply. If you've got Oscar's jumper, just say. Just say, but we don't need 64 replies. Saying, I haven't got it. Because then it makes everything, you have to keep scrolling up to find out how much, if they need a pound for tomorrow or not, or is it two pound? Who has coins? Who has coins?

Who has coins? Not me. Because then you have to go to the shop. Get cash out. Pay for something with cash. Get some chuddy. So yeah. Get a pack of chud. Cheapest thing I can buy. Yeah.

To get some house. There's not a choking hazard. Yeah. Chuddy. Yeah. Just chuddy. Is that a northern thing? Or is that what?

Oh, I see like chuddy. Chuddy, yeah. Or chud? Yeah. I don't know. Do you say a backy or a croggy? Crogie. Crogie?

Yeah. Yeah. Do you say a snick it or a ginnit? Snick it. Snick it. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

I mean, we literally like grew up not far. It'd be weird if we had the same. I'm probably going to walk down the snippet to your house. Everyone's going, what the hell's a snippet? Yeah, what are they saying? Yeah, Danny calls it a ginnle. I've never even heard of that. He's Lancashire.

Oh, right. It's the wrong side, you see. Yeah. Yeah, I use a WhatsApp group for exactly the same thing to find out information. Yeah. And then occasionally ask a question. Because the whole pound thing, I gave Bradley a, you know, the coins you get on your key rings to put in a trolley that you can just keep reusing.

Bradley was like, I need a pound, otherwise I can't get a book. And I was like, well, I've got, just take that in. If there's a problem, ask the teacher to ring me. And he came home and he was like, I couldn't get a book. I was like, why? And he said, because it wasn't a pound, was it? And then I was like, I'm so sorry. So now I've got a couple of pound coins at home in like little envelopes.

You know, when you were at school and you had the little dinner envelopes. I just put a pound in there. So when they need them, a couple in the car, always, Always thinking. Yeah. Well, yeah, I always end up using my trolley pound. And then I get to my trolley and I'm like, I can't get you. I'm going to have to carry a basket.

There's been so many times when I was like, Annabel, my youngest, was born. And I had the three kids in the trolley and navigating that and it was raining. And I'd just be like, do you know what? Fuck it. I'll just leave the pound in. Like, just leave it in. Because to get all the way back to the shop with three kids in the car and like navigating it, I'm not doing it.

I've contemplated in the past. holding the trolley and just driving the car really sorry, put the trolley out of my arm out the side of the car just going up towards the supermarket to get my pound back and I thought, just leave it. It's not worth the scratches on the car. Someone stole my pound ones. I was loading, I was loading my trollet, my shopping into my car

turned round my pound had gone. Where do you shop? Well, Stry's bought. It's a bit bougie as well. How old. Custom. Spend how bougie I want to go. Yeah.

Do you need your picky bits? For my picky bits. Actually, my hat and taken on holiday with me says, I have Eminus picky bits on it. Does it? Yeah. Everyone does though, don't they? I mean, we do. That's like middle-aged, I mean, I'm top to toe in M&S today.

It's like, we are literally plugging M&S here, aren't we? But you get to an age where you're like, do you know what? I want picky bits and comfy clothes. Yes. Flat shoes. A linen trouser. A linen trouser. They might crease.

It doesn't matter. I don't care. It's probably going to wet myself anyway. at least my problems a couple of creases. Unless you go in the sea. In your linen trousers. Mom, what are you doing in your linen trousers in the sea? Oh, nothing.

Not having a way. On that note, Hannah. On that note. Well, so just quickly before you do go. Yeah. If anybody wants to come and watch you. Yes. So 19th of August.

I'm at the fringe and Scotland. and then the rest of my tour kicks off in September to Christmas. So there's lots of shows. There's a few that have got tickets remaining. There's a few that have sold out. But I'll always put on my Instagram if tickets become available. Because people just message and say, oh, I can't go tomorrow night because I've got my stitis.

Or I can't go. It always happens. So, yeah, I'll always put on my Instagram as any available. But yeah, do my website. On your website. Yeah. And is there a link in your bio on Instagram as well. Right.

Love it. Now you know where to go. Come see me. I'm coming, I'm coming. Hannah, it's been a pleasure having you. Thank you for having me. So lovely to see you. And bye, our little rain of sunshine.

Oh. Well, that's a wrap on another episode. Thank you so much to Hannah East for joining us today. Don't forget to leave us a review, follow us on socials at at Mum's the Word underscore pod and subscribe to our YouTube channel where you can now watch our episodes in full, just search Mum's the Word.

So I've been George Jones, and we'll be back with another episode, same time, same play, next week.