Mum's The Word! The Parenting Podcast - 'I Stopped Taking the Pill & My Anxiety Disappeared' Georgia Jones & Claire Warren Talk Older Motherhood, Relationships & the Stuff No One Says

Episode Date: May 24, 2026

Claire Warren (@MyKindaMum) joins Georgia Jones for a no-filter conversation about the stuff mums think but rarely say out loud.They cover mum guilt, the mental load, bottle vs breast judgement, relationship resentment, the contraceptive pill and anxiety, teaching boys to wee standing up, and why being called a "geriatric mother" at 36 is absolutely outrageous.Clare shares how she went from posting baby-led weaning content to building a huge community around just admitting motherhood is hard and Georgia opens up about not feeling instant love for Cooper when he was born. It's raw, it's funny, and you'll relate to every single word.A Create Podcast Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Welcome back to Mums the Word. I'm your host, Georgia Jones, and today I am joined by the amazing Claire Warren. She's the creator of At My Kind of Mum, a thriving social community celebrating the beautiful chaos of modern motherhood. Claire's a mum of two, two Lula Blue and Raffy Bear, great names. So grab a cupper, get comfy, and let's jump in to a brand new episode of Moms the Word.

Claire, welcome to Mums the Word. Thank you. It's so good to be here. It's been a long time coming. Yes. Well, I mean, it nearly didn't happen today either, didn't it? Delays, postponements. Yeah.

All sorts going on, but you are here. I made it. Finally, she made it. I'm very happy to be here. Yay. How has your 2026 gone so far? How you doing? Well, hectic, as always.

Yes. You know, alongside the standard mum life. I've moved house. And I'm getting married in about 10 days. Oh, my gosh. Oh my gosh. Are you? Are you?

Yes. That is exciting. She's very exciting. Yeah, yeah, I'm not at all anxious. All right. And where are you getting married in the UK? Yes, yeah, in Yorkshire. Yeah, yeah, just near Harrogate, that kind of area.

Oh, I love Harrogate. So I've just found out that Claire is actually, um, lives in Leeds. Yes. So she's from my neck of the woods. Well, not from my neck of the woods, but you live in my neck of the woods. We've swapped. Yeah, exactly. Where are you actually from then, originally?

Half a chair originally. Oh, right. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Exactly. Yeah.

You actually became a parent. Now, I'm going to say slightly later on in life, but actually you were 35, right? Yeah, 36. Maybe when Lula was born, yeah. So I was technically, according to the NHS, a geriatric mother, which is so complimentary. Revolting things call us, isn't it? How dare they? I just don't understand, right?

We've already have to do it all. And then you call us a geriatric. and it's like really could you not have thought of a kind of word like just I'm sure technically the dictionary definition will just be something like over-ocertained but because we've always applied it to really elderly or she's a bit geriatric it just can't take it any other way than offensively can you no no it's only 35 36 as well it's just and it's it's so weird because like I actually don't find that older as a new mum it's not so much these days people are doing it older and older well they are we were just chatting about it before like sienna miller's just got

pregnant at I think 44 or something like that or 41 and it's becoming more kind of because I feel like there was a point where it maybe wasn't quite as accepted yes as it is now when you got pregnant then at 36 did you find that people there was a stigma attached to it not really with my first no no it was fine with my first with raffy my second I was 38 going on 39 yeah I'm still no stigma and actually I joined the Facebook you know you get the Facebook groups where babies due in in October of your year so you can make friends. Yeah. There were some in there who were 42 and having their first child.

Was there? So I feel like I'm kind of happily in the, I wasn't, according to other people's perspective, it wasn't like, oh, she's really old. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's more in the school playground now when you're dropping off and you realize that all the mum friends you're making are in there sort of early to mid 30s and you go, oh, in my day. Yeah. You feel at the age of 402.

It just changed. Like some of the things, like people that are 10 years younger than you were saying, and you're like, And I'll say something. I'm like, you have no idea what I'm talking about, do you? You don't know what I mean. No, I don't remember that. No, you talk about being a teenager in the 90s. And they're like, oh, I was born in 92.

Oh, my God. Go away. Yes, I don't want to speak to you. No. At all, ever again. Do you think that becoming a mum, like, in that age bracket, made you almost more prepared? No.

No, the slightest. No, no, not at all. No. And, you know, whilst I'm not at all. I'm middling in terms of the parent age bracket. My partner, he's now 55. So he was 50 when my eldest was born. Right. So if anything, he's the one that makes me feel older. Yeah. Because you think you get aged by your partner. Yeah, he's a geoffer. Yeah, he's definitely Jerry Atrick. But no, we didn't have any more clue about what we were doing than anybody else. I guess we had a bit

more life experience and we'd run businesses together. But it's all business experience. And how much does that prepare you for children? It doesn't. nothing prepares you for children, does it? I really don't think it does. No, it doesn't, no. I could have read all the books in the world and watched all the videos and gone to all the classes. I think it hits you and you're like, oh, okay, I'm responsible for a living thing now.

It's a shock to the system. And if you have, because I think, you know, a lot of the reason people are doing it a bit older nowadays is because they are having a bit more of a career first. But that difference in pace when you go from 100 miles an hour, fast-paced career to suddenly sitting on the floor waiting for someone to roll over, you know, and you maybe might get out of the house for an hour and that's a good day. And you feel like you're just going at two miles an hour walking through treacle. That for me personally was a massive

shock to the system and very difficult to adjust to. Did you find that really tricky then? Yeah, really tough. I didn't like it. If I'm honest, I didn't like it. Well, I suppose like you were saying you had like businesses and you were a career woman so then going to kind of did you find it boring really boring yeah absolutely yeah and i thought before i had kids i would be stay at home yummy mummy yeah oh doing all that wholesome stuff yeah and loving it arts and crafts no thank you no making things with glitter yeah and i was just like wow this is dull this is really slow-paced and really dull. And I very much need to have a sense of achievement all the time. And I've struggled to feel a sense of achievement from doing that, even though it is,

you know, every step of bringing up your child is an achievement. Well, it is, but it doesn't feel like it at the time, isn't it? I think it's only when you look back and see like, oh, you're a great little human. You're like, I actually did that. Yeah. And, you know, I'm a partner. But I did, I made you that way. Yeah, exactly. Potentially a little bit of the way you were born, but you know, a lot of it was made. Yeah, absolutely, yeah. And you do need to celebrate those wins, and you do need to try and find a way to sort of see that as productivity as well.

Yeah. Like going to the park and enduring an hour in a playground is productivity. Oh my gosh. But I'm saying that very much as somebody that is not able to feel like that the majority of the time. Do you know, and I'm exactly the same as you, Claire, because I remember I used to be like, I'd write a to-do list. and by the end of the day, I've just not ticked anything off it and I've done absolutely nothing

and I can't know who it was but someone said to me but have you put on your to-do list cleaning the counters put a wash on, hung the wash out you know, change the bed in have you put any of that on your to-do list?

And I was like, no, because that's just like house stuff. I'm like, but they're jobs. Yeah, and they all take time. They all take time. You're doing all of that. And the minute I changed my mindset and started adding those things onto the list

I'd be like, oh my God, I've ticked 50% off my list. today. I'm going to start writing everything down. Everything. To the toilet. Oh, yes. Brush hair.

Did I brush my teeth twice today? I did. Well, done. Good on me. I am winning. Yeah, I'm winning it life. But it is, and I don't think people talk that much about how, like, monotomous and

boring and dull it can be, because for fear of sounding, ungrateful for having a child. Absolutely. And there's so much fear around that. Yeah. When I first started making my content, I was just swamped with that fear of I kind of, I want to talk about it quite sarcastically. And I want to highlight a lot of the more negative stuff, but in a funny way, if I can. Yeah. I was terrified when I first started doing it because I just thought everyone's going to come for me and say, do you know how, do you know how many people can't have children? That's always difficult.

And I did get a bit, but the vast majority was people going, me too, me too. Yeah, yeah. And you're always going to get that, though. You're always going to get, because I've taught openly about how hard, how I didn't have that instant love for Cooper when he very first arrived into this world. I was like, why is it not, why I'm not feeling this?

Yes. And again, yeah, you will get your people being like, at least you can have a child. It's like, well, yes, I know. And I've kind of got to a point. It gets to a point, doesn't there, where you can't caveat it every single time, be like, this, but I do love my child and this,

but I am really grateful that. I've got a child because he's like, that's a given. I clearly want my child and I love him. But like, you know, you're allowed to find it really bloody hard. And you're allowed to not enjoy it. You did a post. I think it's your last one you've just done. I watched it this morning and it was like all the milestones you hit.

And then it being, oh, shit. Now there's this. And it was so relatable because you did like, oh yeah, you're out of nappies. And then that's it. That's it. shit in and missing everywhere. Yeah, do you need a way, do you need a way? Please, it was the one way you was like,

please just try a wee before you go. Because Cooper does that. I'm like, he's like, Mommy, I went. I was like, you went an hour ago. I promise you, if you just go and try one, something will come out. And then you get in the car and literally 10 minutes down the road,

you just hit the motorway, I need a wee. Yeah. How long until the next toilet? I have no idea, because all of a sudden, the signs for service stations have stopped. Yeah, that's exactly. miraculously stop the minute you need a wee.

I mean, and there's been times where I'm like, right, take this bottle and try and do a wee into that bottle. Have you done that? He won't do it though. He's just like, I can't. Yeah, absolutely. Well, we've done. My son has only really just recently got out of now, but he's managed to get to three years old before getting out of them. My daughter, 10 months smashed it.

No problem. Yeah. Yeah. But then trying to do the first pee on the side of the road with him, because he'd been used to just sitting on the moon with the plastic seats. So then he said, I need a wait right out at the side of the road, pulled his pants down, kind of tried to get him to lean forward so he wouldn't just go all down himself. And just the fear of I'm outside, there's cars whipping around, noise, just couldn't do it. And it's like, well, what do I do now?

I know. A wheel on the side of a hard shoulder is petrifying. I've done it once, and I don't think I could do it yet. Or not, I didn't wait, Cuba did. I have done a wee on a hard shoulder, though. Let's not be around bush with that one. Also, I do find trying to. teach a boy how to we holding their willy isn't really down to us because I'm like,

I actually know how a man stands and holds his willies to have a way. I mean, I've seen them do it, but like, yeah, no, it's new to me. I thought, well, I hold your penis. Yeah. We always use the correct word. Yeah. But of course, it's so tiny when they're little as well. So there's not a great deal for them to hold. And, and first time he did it, he just pointed it straight up. Oh, God. Oh, no, no, point it down, point it down. We don't come up. I did feel like it was. I did feel like it was. I did feel like it was a bit like this doesn't really feel like my roommate. I think I think you should step in here. Yeah, I know I said that to Danny. I was like, and also the Willie washing and all of that jazz. I don't know all of this. I know women bits. Yes. It's so funny you said about the

actual prop and words that because I was with my two, well, no, well, yes, but I'm just glad I don't have a girl because I was with my best mates the other day, two females. And we were talking about the name and we literally went hang on so which bits the vulva and which bits and what's the vagina and what's the vagina

is the collective and they were like no the vagina is the up bit and honestly vulva's collective yeah vulva's collective I can't bring myself

to say vulva though I can't it's just again like they just make the names of our bits a bit more disgusting than the names of the men's bits I think feels a bit intense doesn't it

you know that's it have you wiped your vulva have you I can't. I can't either. I can manage a vagina. I know, same. I feel that feels a bit more acceptable to say.

So you were saying a bit about like, you know, obviously when you start posting online, you're thinking, oh God, if people get offended by it. How do you feel like it is in the mummy world? Do you feel like there's a lot of support? Do you feel like? There is, but there is also a lot of, there's a lot of competition. Yeah. There's a lot of, I think people feel very defensive about the choices that,

they make because it's hard to make those choices, isn't it? You know, whether you decide to breastfeed or bottle feed, co-sleep or cot sleep, home educate or send them to nursery, send them to nursery at nine months old or, you know, keep them at home till two if you can. Whatever choices you make, because all those choices feel tough, you then feel like you need to be quite protective of that choice and maybe a little bit aggressive towards people that have gone for another choice for some reason. I don't know why. And it can, it's an aggressive. It's an aggressive. aggressive playing field out there. It is. It is. I think women can be quite aggressive as well.

Like, I think we're just designed that way a little bit. Because I remember recently watching Married at First Sight with Danny. Right. And he was like, is that what you women are all like when you're together? And I was like, no, that's an extreme version. But I mean, I was a bit embarrassed watching it. I was like, I don't think because women are like that when we're together. But God, the difference.

Men were all just sat there like, yeah, whatever. This season is particularly bad. There's a lot of bullying. Yeah. Don't back to high school, if I'm honest. Oh my gosh, same. And I was like, yeah, and it was hideous. But we say that, but online, that gang mentality is quite present sometimes.

Yes, yeah. And it's the faceless thing. It's the, because it's like when you're in a car, you feel like you can swear at people and hug your heart. Oh, sorry, sorry, sorry. Yeah, if that was you, you know, without a big metal tin around you, you wouldn't be quite. Ultimately British. I'm sorry. Oh my God.

I'm sorry. I apologize to a wheelie bin for spacking it with your elbow, but in a car. Get out of the way, you, man. Yeah. Yeah. Exactly. So it's all that, it's all that, like, faceless stuff. What do you think is, like, the biggest kind of area where women don't support women?

There's a lot more groups in the very early days, I think, with the feeding and the sleeping. They seem to be the big battle groups that really go at each other. I think feeding especially. Yes, yeah, absolutely. Yeah. And even birthing, you know, what birthed. decisions you make and things like that. People doing elective C sections and stuff along those lines.

But the bottle feeding one, because I bottle fed both of mine, because I physically could not, I tried to breastfeed. And the way I made doesn't work. I've done a blog about it and everything. So I had no choice and I had to bottle feed. But you always then feel like when you, either if I did a reel where you can see me holding a bottle and feeding baby, I felt like I had to put a big disclaimer at the bottom saying, I'm only doing this because I had to, and then I just thought, why are you defending yourself?

Yeah. You know, and even if you don't have an issue with breastfeeding, but you just choose not to and you want to bottle feed, I just, I take the philosophy of you do whatever works best for you and your family and sod everybody else, basically. It's so true. One of my best friends with breastfeeding, and she tried with her first, and bless her, her, nipples, oh my God, they're ripped her shreds by the end of however long she tried. for. And it just got to the point I was like, stop. Like, give him a bottle. Like, you're not winning any awards. No, exactly. And you're putting yourself through absolute hell. Like, none of you are

happy. He's not getting what exactly what he wants. He's just ripping your nipples to shred. You're certainly not getting what you want. No, exactly. So, stop it. Anyway, this time, she was like, I'm not even going to bother. No, she's like, I'm not doing it. She's like, I don't care what people think. But it's really, really hard to get into that mindset of, I don't care what people think. It gets easier the further you go along with motherhood. I think when you first become a mum for the first time, it's terrifying the number of different expectations that there are upon you. I mean, as we were talking about, just the expectation to enjoy it and feel love for your baby initially. And if that doesn't happen, you immediately shrouded with this horrible sense of guilt and then the

feeding and then the sleeping and then all the choices that you have to make. I personally felt by the time I got to baby, too, I was like, nah, I don't care about, it was not, it was easier because you knew, I knew what to expect in terms of the feeding. So, and I also knew what to expect in terms of how I would feel having a baby, being a mum. Yeah. So with all the expectations dropped, you know, you then just think, okay, and I actually enjoyed it way more. Did you? Second time. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I'm just going to do me and my baby. Yeah. Exactly. That's it. Ultimately, it is just about you, isn't it? Yes. then there's so much outside noise nowadays because of the world of social media. And I never like to poo-poo social media because it's our job. You are. Love social media, please don't fire us. But we say that, but the thing is, like, anyone in any job,

whinge is about their job occasionally. Of course, yes. And I think we forget that. We forget that, like, actually, our job might be a bit difficult sometimes, and it might be, you know, that it's not the happiest place sometimes if you've got, you know, haters. Hate is going to hate, aren't there? They are exactly.

It is what it is. And I think the thing is as well, like, I was thinking about this and we all do have opinions. Yes. We actually all do have opinions. They're like, assholes as they say. Yeah, yeah. And like, you know, I might think,

so personally, wouldn't add, I car closely, because Cooper's a wriggle bum and doesn't enjoy it either. And I think to myself, God, like, that must be a good. exhausting co-sleeping. But I don't care enough about anyone else's situation for me to make a comment on it. If that makes them happy, that makes them happy.

But the problem is there are so many people that have a lot of time that care far too much about other people and what they're getting up to. And because they've got the confidence to type something out online because nobody knows who they are, they just do it. It's just more available to be able to insult or judge people, isn't it? Yeah, it is. But it's so freeing when you stop doing it. Because when I started out, I actually was doing food recipes for baby-led weaning.

That's how I started out. Oh, were you? That how you started? Yeah, and it was called feeding their futures. Oh. And it was because before becoming a mum, my partner and I ran a gym together. How did you? And I did all the marketing for it. But I did all the recipe books and I ran a lot of the courses, nutrition courses and stuff that we did.

So I knew a lot about nutrition. Yeah. And so then when I started doing baby lead weaning, I had to look around for inspiration. And it was all kind of pastry pinwheels and stuff like that. Yeah. Which I used to make them all the time. Yeah, absolutely. They're fine.

But I was like, I think we need some more nutritious stuff here. So I started putting out the stuff that we were cooking. And I used all of the knowledge I'd learned from running the gym and applied it to my daughter, not realizing at all at the time that I was just in that phase where my daughter would eat and love almost everything. She then later down the line transformed into, oh, I don't like meat, I don't like eggs, fish is disgusting, and not touching that, I only want a ham sandwich. And you realize, oh, okay, all that advice I was trying to sort of put out at the time.

And it was all along the lines of, you know, if you've got picky heaters, try doing this. And just in that blissful bubble of having no idea what it was like to have a child that just says, no, thanks. I had one of them. Yeah, still do. And when I stopped doing that and then became my kind of mum and just started talking about, is anyone else finding this really hard? And everyone went, yeah, me. Yeah. All of us. And I went, oh, right. Well, should we just talk about that instead? Yeah. Yeah. The freedom then of not trying to preach, not trying to teach anybody anything. Yeah. It's so much better. Just being, just listening to people, being supportive, having each other's backs. I think so much more fun. I think what you do as well so well is just, light of it. Like, you know, you bring up the topics, but you bring them up in a funny way, which is so lovely. I think there's, um, there's like a group of mummy influences that do that so, so well. I could never, because I'm not funny, but the way you do it is just so perfectly

done. Because almost in a way, I'm like, I know what she's going to, I know what this, I know what this is going to be about. I can tell before it's, yeah, right. Yeah, exactly. Because you. Because you're hard really like I don't think I've watched any of your videos and not gone yep yep exactly that's exactly me and what and how I feel well that's so good to hear and you know obviously that's that's all you can aim for is just you know because it is it's really really hard but you know if you just sort of go on and just cry and talk about how difficult everything is can be a bit depressing I guess it is depressing and unfortunately people love to see the depression,

depression, and that's why I think there needs to be that nice mix of it. Like, I'll sometimes talk about the hard bits, but then I also go,

I'm having a really nice time in our betha this week. Yeah, exactly. Yeah. I'm on this, this press trip, and I don't care if anyone gets annoyed with me

for not being at home with my child, because I need this for me. Like, I'm doing, doing my part for me as well. As you should. Yeah.

I remember that I had some really good advice from someone about filling up your cup before you can fill anyone else is up. So true. And honestly, I think that completely changed my parenting

to being like, I need to think about me. Yes. Because I don't know whether you ever did this. It would be like, God, I must put my smear test in, but I've got Cooper, I've got my child's football,

and I've got this, and I've got that dance lesson, and I haven't got time. I possibly got time. And then when you do finally go for your smear test, you sit in the waiting room, like, this is such a relaxing holiday. break. I sit on the bedroom, my legs up and go, this is nice. Hot dog legs. Yeah. This is

quite enjoyable. Day off. It's lovely. Sorry, is the doctor delayed. Oh, what a shame. Oh, sorry, darling. So you take your time. You take your time. Do you ever pretend? Do you ever like, oh, the traffic's terrible? I'm a little bit late. Yeah, absolutely. Well, because I got delayed on the train down here today, I'm hoping there might be some delays on the way back potentially and I might, oh, miss bedtime. Oh, but isn't it? Isn't that, like the funny thing? And I was talking to somebody about this the other day, about how like when you become a mum, the things that were like an annoyance,

like having to go and do the supermarket shop, then suddenly become like something you get excited about. Yeah, absolutely. Yeah, I did a real about exactly that. Perspective changes, you know, before and after parenting, you know, when it's just you as a couple and you open the fridge and there's no milk. You're like, oh, we're out of milk.

Someone's going to have to go to the supermarket. Oh, God, not me, not me. As parents, you're like, I'll go. I'll go. I'll go. Jump in the car. Literally.

You wouldn't see me for dust. No, literally wrestling for the keys to get to the car first. It's so true. And then a kid says, can I come with you? No, no, I think no, no, no. And mommy just needs to get them back very quickly. And then you take care too. Do you have an insatiable fascination with the paranormal?

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Talking about relationships and obviously the dynamic of things when you do have children. How was your relationship when you, because you, how old are your children now? Six and three. Six and three. Yes. So it's like a three year age gap. So how, how was it? Did it change dramatically or were you? I mean, it's not, it's not easy, is it? Just trying to, we're, we're pretty good at communicating and checking in with each other regularly. And we sort of attempt to have kind of check-in evenings. We'll do a... Do you?

Yeah, well, we'll just do like a Friday night, date night, but at home without going out. So we get the kids to bed and then have a steak. We normally eat with the kids, but on Friday night, we'll have a steak afterwards and a bottle of red. And we'll just try to discuss things with an open mind. That's a really great idea. Do you know what?

It sounds so basic. Yeah. I don't think anyone's ever said to me that they'd do that with their pan. Oh, really? Yeah. Yeah, it's a great idea. Because there's so many bits otherwise during the week where, you know, you feel like, because my partner's quite old school, he was born in 1970s.

He grew up in the 70s and early 80s. So for him, I mean, he got smacked and sent to his room and all sorts of stuff like that. So for him to change that parenting style to modern parenting style is even harder than mine as an 80s, 90s upbringing. Yeah, of course. And so sometimes I'll see him, you know, telling the kids off and I'll think, well, it's a bit more harsh than I would like. But we always,

we always set out a rule from the beginning of agree in front of the kids and chat about it afterwards. Don't undermine each other in front of the children. I think that's very important. I can't say we've always managed it. No, I mean, there's not a case. We try. Yeah, yeah.

So we have to have the check-in nights because otherwise there would be too many moments, you know, in front of the kids where you're like, hmm, I'm not sure I totally agree with that approach. Yeah, yeah. We do need to talk about that later as you make a little note to bring that up. And a glass of red wine definitely helps as well. Yeah.

I think that's a really good idea because as well, like, I think the word, do you know, I never have used the word resentment more than since becoming a mum. Right. And I think a lot of moms feel it because because the role does lay on us a lot from the very beginning. And I think the problem is, because we are the ones majority of the time at home on maternity leave, we then fall into that role of being kind of like the housekeeper, the cook, the cleaner, looking after the child. And all the mental load as well, of course, remembering all the things. I mean, the mental load of heart even.

I swear to God that's brought on perimenopause for me. Is it mental load or is it perimenopause? Who knows? I'm constantly checking at my ADHD. Is it perimenopause? Oh my God, clear. Is it early onset dementia? Like, he literally walking into a room going,

what am I doing? Oh, what am I doing? I forgot someone's name that I know really well the other day. I was like, honestly, I knew they had a mental breakdown. I was like, I can. How can I not know this person's name? And it was just me and that person together. Yes.

And I went off to the toilet. And I was like, right, pull yourself together, Georgia. Come on, right. I am not going on my phone to try and find this person. to work out what their name is. They were a friend, Claire. I was like, this, this isn't, this bad.

This isn't normal. This is normal. But it's like, I think it is normal. I think we're moving into that, that world now though. I was saying before to Kelsey, I was like,

we've been dealt a bloody shit card as women, haven't we? And also, because we have everything. But then on top of that, how, when we existed at the same time as men, is there not contraception for men, apart from condoms, but is there not a pill that a man can take? There is. Is it?

They invented one. They trialed it. Yeah. And the results made the men have anxiety, caused some issues with sleep, stress, things like that. Basically the exact same symptoms that we often get from the pill. But because it was men, they decided, okay, we probably shouldn't roll that out because it's got these slightly dodgy side effects.

Are you joking? It actually exists. It's been invented. They are actually now trialing a nil. new one. I saw it advertised a little while ago saying a new one that's maybe not got the same side effects and things like that. But yeah, basically it got invented and trialed like I don't know the exact time. 10, 20 years ago, something like that. And no way. Because of the side effects, they said, all right, yeah, we won't do that then. The women are all right. They've been doing it

for years. We'll just keep the women doing it. Makes me angry. That's really, really, really just made me angry out. It's one of my things that just makes me really pissed off. And I stopped, So I stopped taking the pill after my second child. And I just have to disclaimer this with I'm not a doctor or a health profession. But I used to suffer with quite serious anxiety for a long time. I mean, just sort of getting like heart palpitations while washing up. Yeah, just like not triggered by anything. Nothing.

No, yeah. And Darrell would be saying, you know, what are you anxious about? I don't know. That's the point. And I stopped taking the pill and it went. And I realized, oh my God, it's been this false hormone thing that I've been putting in my body since I was 18 years old. Yeah. And now I've stopped and got back into my sort of natural cycles and natural hormone patterns.

I still get a little bit anxious to normal things. Yeah. It's a lot more leveled out as opposed to... It doesn't feel like a clinical issue. It's scary. And I felt so angry about that. Yeah. Because it ruined my experience with my first child because I was really suffering with angstled.

anxiety through it all. That's shit as well though, isn't it? And I just think now I don't have it anymore and the enjoyment with my second child is so much better because I'm not just sweating and having palpitations at, you know, sitting in a parked car or just ridiculous stuff. Getting some bubble, a very liquid bubbles on the go. Yeah, exactly. Yeah.

And I totally get that. I think when I was on the pill, my PMS was horrendous. My mood swings were just next level. And I think since coming off, mine are just, and it was funny, like I, so I obviously came off before Cooper. And I never went back on because I just didn't want to put stuff in my body anymore. Like, because when you think about it, so I went on contraception, oh my God, on a while. It's Wednesday. At least you remember the word.

I just can't say it. Yeah. Can I remember it? Who knows? Contraception when I was 16. And like I got, I got pregnant when I was. when I was in my, when I was 31. Yeah.

So like that led them time to pumping your body with hormones that actually shouldn't be in there. Exactly. Yeah. And yeah, it's just, it's baffling. I've gone off on a tangent of that. Because what I was talking about was resentment. Sorry,

I took you off on attention. But at least I can remember what I was talking about. Oh my God, I did it. I remembered. Well done me. You're making progress. Thanks, Claire. Thank you.

See, women's supporting women. There you go. There you go. And I also just tell everyone. but it's as hot as the Sahara desert. Poor Claire sat there in a cashmere jumper. She's got a cashmere on. I would have just put on her best if I'm there.

Me and Claire look shiny. It is sweat, yes, that's what it is. We didn't forget our powder. But yes, the resemblance thing. And I think that's why actually, like you do the check-ins. Do you feel like that helps stop the kind of like, oh, but like you did this and I did this? Yeah, to an extent.

I mean, there are. there are certain things that are just, the mental load is a big one. And every time I mention that to Darren, it's always like, oh God, you know, like you're making too much of a big thing of it. Does he ever say, well, I've got a lot I need to think about as well. Or is he just thinks it's just a...

Yeah, he thinks I make too much of everything. Because I am a bit of a panicker. I have to list everything. Everything has to be listed. Everything has to be written down. I think we have to be. Yes. Then our brains would just be relaxed

and wouldn't then remember things. Yes, exactly. I have to write everything down. And because if I think of something, if I don't write it down at least immediately, it will go within a few minutes. And then there's the stress of, no, that was really important, that thing that I just thought of.

And then you're stressing about that. Well, Karen, what it was, but I know I needed to do it. And oh, my good, what if it's a school trip? Yes. There's just so many things. Oh, don't forget that. Don't forget that. I did a reel about it recently of just, you know,

just walking through the house and the laundry. Yeah. And it was your, you did a like a voiceover. Honestly, when I was watching it, I was like, that's my brain. Oh my God, that's literally, that's me. I can hear me. Well, and you can see how many people relate to it.

Oh, my gosh. It's gone over 12 million or something now. And just in the comments is, this is me, this is me. Yeah. All except for one guy that came up saying, oh, half the stuff you were saying there was irrelevant. I'm a stay-at-home parent.

And this is nonsense. It's really, really easy. Wow. Well, of course, everybody. Oh, my God. That's what's good, though, isn't it? Like when women are supporting women, is they will go in.

I mean, there's been times before I've had to be like, guys, calm down, it's fine. Like, thank you for all supporting me. Love you. But you don't need to go that hard. And don't waste your time either. I appreciate it, but also don't spend hours attacking this guy. Yeah, there's no need.

It's their own problem. As we delved into it a bit further, you know, his claim was sort of, oh, I'm a state-home parent, but it's easy and it's easy. We then found out later down the day, chain that his kids were something like 11 and 8 and were both in full-time school and both got taxis to and from school. Oh, right. And we're in school for an after-school club until about six o'clock and got themselves dressed and gave themselves their breakfast. So essentially,

he also didn't work. So he was a stay-at-hills. Yes. So he's literally just... Stay-at-home. I was like, why, you're not really a stay-at-home pairing your house husband. And also, which, you know, no shade on that. if you've made that work for you. But yes, that is a lot easier than being a better. And I bet you any money, I bet his wife or partner still has all that mental load. I bet she's still reminding him of things and telling him things. And that's what everyone was saying to him was if you don't think there's a mental load,

it's because your wife's carrying it whilst also being the sole earner for your household. Yeah. So it is there. Maybe look at home. Yeah, exactly. Start at home before you poo-poo this real, actually. It's funny because I always say, Danny, because I'll remind him to do something.

So I'll like, Diane, can you please just message this person or do this? He's like, yeah, yeah, I'll do it. And he doesn't. And I said to him the other day, I was like, right, so what I need from you is when I ask you to do it, maybe you should do it straight away. Because then it's another thing that I have to add to my list, and I have to add that onto my mental load.

So then I've also got your mental load because it's mine, and I'm having to remind you. Yeah, remind you to do it. Check that you've done it. Yeah. And also worry about if it wasn't done, then do I need to pick it up and do it? That's three things, whereas it could have just been one thing if I'd just done it myself. Yeah, yeah.

And also then on top of that, you go, God, I sound like such an ag. Yes. It sounds like such an ag, constantly asking. But it's not being done. So I've got to constantly ask it. That said, we do as women need to get better at delegating. Yes. And also then letting them suffer the consequences if that.

task doesn't get done. Yes. I think that's the best way forward. Because they won't pick it up themselves necessarily unless you've got one of those rare guys that just does. It does. Well done. If you achieved that.

But they won't generally. It's tricky though because I do often feel like that. But then I'm like, I know it's still not going to get done. And then it's got to be even worse for me. Because in like a week's time, I'm going to be like, where's Cooper school uniform? Is it not been washed? No, it hasn't. Okay, so now I've got to try and like, watch. No, no. Now you have to take people to school in joggers and you have to tell the teacher why he's in joggers.

Yeah. Because that was yours. I delegated. You told me I was stressing too much. Here are some jobs. Yeah. I actually added Darren to the class WhatsApp recently because I was talking to him about the WhatsApp groups and it's this, it's that. And he was like, well, just, you know. And I said, well, should I add you to the class WhatsApp group and also class Dojo as well. keep on top of all of the emails from school. Yeah. Yeah, go on then. That's fine. So I added him to the WhatsApp group and the first thing he wrote in it was, what is this?

To which all the mums just put laughy faces on. And one kind mom came forward saying, this is the class WhatsApp group where we discuss all the things going, everything that's going on. Yeah. I know Danny was like, add me to it. So I added him as well, I don't think he ever looks at. No, they just muted.

Yeah, just muted, archived, you know, and never to be seen. again. However, he must actually look at it because he took Cooper to school yesterday morning because I wasn't here and I knew that it wasn't swimming and I thought, do you know what, I'm not going to remind him. Good. I'm not going to. I'm just going to see whether he's read that WhatsApp and whether he's done it. And when I got home, Cooper was still at school and the swimming bag was at home. So I was like, okay. Okay, good. There you go. Yeah. I was like, great. He passed the test. Well, son you pass you've got to you have to give them these tests and i know people will say it shouldn't be our

responsibility to to delegate you know the whole point is that we don't want to delegate as well as doing the jobs ourselves but i do think you have to start somewhere you do you do definitely you have to show them the way i think like with cooper now and someone told i think it might have been kelsey actually told me don't tie up after him tell him those socks don't go there you need to put them in wash basket because I used to just go around and scoop up all his dirty washing that he'd just strewn like he'd come off strip his clothes off get his pajamas on and leave his clothes on the floor and I'd just go pick them up yeah not even thinking about it autopilot whereas now I've started going they don't live there do they yeah put them in the wash basket but it's tough because then

you feel like you change from just picking things up quietly on your own with no drama no fast no arguments to can you do that why haven't you done that how many times have I told you and you just feel like, as you say, like a nag all day. Yeah, you can hear yourself, can't you? It's unpleasant. Yeah, and you're like, I don't want to be this person, but I have to be this person. And your kids and your husband and everyone are looking at you, like, oh God, you know, mum's going off again. So it does sometimes just feel easier. Just to do it. It does. But then we sit there going, there's too much stuff to do. Why has no one else noticed? It's this vicious circle. You can't get out of it. You're damned if you do. Yes, exactly.

And on that note, we've come to an end. That is pretty. I could talk for hours. I know, same. It was so lovely to have you on. Thank you, thank you. I'm sorry it was very hot in here. But you can't wait to get out into the fresher.

Sledge for it. I know. Cash me, it was a bad choice. It was a bad choice. No, we probably should put a warden out. Wear your bikini. I feel like Anchorman milk was a bad choice. So.

I hope of Clay, it's been a pleasure. Oh, thank you for having me. It's been an absolute joy to be here. Thank you. Thank you. That's a wrap on another episode of Mums the Word. Thank you so much for joining us today as we were joined by the amazing Claire Warren.

Don't forget to leave us a review. Follow us on socials at Mums the Word underscore pod and subscribe to our YouTube channel where you can watch our episodes in full. Just search Mums the Word. Until next time, I'm Georgia Jones and this is Mums the Word and we'll be back with another episode,

same time, same place next week.