Mum's The Word! The Parenting Podcast - KELLY TAYLOR: Why We're All A Chaotic Mess? And Why That's Okay!

Episode Date: May 25, 2025

In this episode of Mum's The Word brought to you by Love To Dream, Kelsey Parker is joined by the brilliant Kelly Taylor, the voice behind the popular Instagram account Kids & The Commute.Together, they dive into the beautiful chaos of modern parenting, exploring why we all seem to be a hot mess and why there’s no one-size-fits-all approach to raising kids. Kelly opens up about her newfound love and respect for teachers, which blossomed during the lockdown. It’s a heartwarming conversation that celebrates the unpredictability of parenthood, the importance of flexibility, and the unsung heroes in our children’s lives.Tune in for laughter, real talk, and plenty of relatable moments! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Welcome back to Mums the Word. I'm your host Kelsey Parker. Today I'm joined by the amazing Kelly Taylor who's gone from magazine publisher to a full-time content creator on Instagram. Her account is kidsandthecommute and she is a mum of two girls. So grab a cuppa, get comfy and let's jump into a brand new episode of Mums the Word. This episode of Mums the Word is in partnership with Love to Dream. Between the endless baby checklist and advice from every direction I finally started narrowing down what I actually think I'll need so let's talk about my must-haves and the things I'll be skipping so I think I'll be prioritizing definitely I'm not gonna go for a next to me I'm actually gonna go for a Moses basket away from the bed because I feel

like with Rayleigh I did the Moses basket away from the bed and that was amazing for her Bodie had the next to me and spent his whole time next to me or on me so I definitely think that a Moses basket away from the bed will definitely be a priority on my list and I'm actually so excited to get all the baby's furniture which is so exciting I think I think that's such an exciting part of having baby. The products I'm definitely going to be prioritizing are the Love to Dream Swaddle Up and the Love to Dream Sound Machines. They're practical science-backed solution designed to help newborns and parents sleep better and that's all we want as a parent is to sleep better.

And that's all we want as a parent is to sleep better. So, Kenny, thank you for joining me on the podcast today. Thank you for having me, this is exciting. Right, I feel like you're not gonna be awkward by this because some people feel really awkward when I ask this question. Oh God, go on. Introduce yourself. Who are you?

Okay, hi. What do you do? Why are you here? Why am I here? Because some people go, oh no, don't make me introduce myself. I think this is the time to shine and big yourself up. So I'll big myself up.

Yeah. Hello, I'm Kelly Taylor, also known as Kids in the Commute. Yes. On Instagram and TikTok. I'm a mum of two. I'm their personal chauffeur and chef and trainer and therapist and I'm a full-time content creator.

In my past life, I was a nine to five corporate working mom so had a bit of a shift in career now and now yeah, it's all about parenting comedy and basically just trying to find the light in the occasional dark moments of parenting. So how did you get into that? How did you have this jump? Do you know, it was really fun.

So I had a friend who was a content creator and she was like, do you know what? You should you should consider doing this. I think I think I'd like that. I'm a talker. Yeah talker This was back before reels. So I thought yeah, I'm gonna I'm gonna do this And one of the the kind of the main reasons I started was I'd come back off I was just about to start work again after my second maternity leave. And I was looking for like a working mum account that looked like me and nothing looked like me. Everyone was like these boss mums and they got it all together. And I was an absolute chaotic mess. I didn't know what was going on from, you know, start of day to the end of the day. So I decided,

right, I'm going to create a can. I'm going to document my working mum life ultimately. But it was ridiculous because when I first started all the friends I had who were doing any kind of content creation, they were kind of lifestyle. Oh God, I am not lifestyle in any way, shape or form. I mean, I can't dress myself. My kitchen looks a mess. You look fantastic today. Yeah. I mean, I've gone easy with the black top. I had a stylist this morning. Yeah, the stylist was actually my nine year old daughter. I can't do any of that. So it was definitely when I first started, I was going in my back garden

and I was wearing outfits and taking photos of myself in front of this camellia bush in my back garden. Because that was the nice part of your house. That was the only nice part of my entire house. And I thought, yeah, I'm going to look really cool. And basically, because content creation is easy, right? So I'm going to put this up. But all of a sudden, I want to jump to like thousands and thousands

of kind of followers within the next couple of weeks easy-peasy It's a bit more difficult than that just a bit Just a little bit more difficult bit more technical than that and I kept posting if I'm honest with you The working mom side of things was very authentic But the rest of it I kept thinking it had to be this perfect Look of motherhood and I had to look like I was gonna have it all together And it just wasn't who I was and then lockdown came and I think the wheels came off a little bit in multiple ways. You know, trying to do a, I say a nine to five job.

It wasn't a nine to five job during lockdown. It was really hard trying to juggle that and my kids. And I was genuinely having a breakdown most days. I remember one time I was on a work call. I think it was only the first day of lockdown. And I got up to the spare room and I was on a work call. Everyone appeared on the screen and just at that time the door of the spare room swung open and my daughters just jumped on the spare bed next to me and started

jumping up and down like a trampoline. Kelly over to you! And I was like hum, hum, hum! And literally I couldn't get my words out. They were having the time of their life laughing and giggling but I, being serious, I just thought, I don't know how I'm gonna do this, and I burst into tears on the call and I shut myself. I said, I'm sorry guys, I can't do this. And I shut the call off. And then probably for the next few weeks,

I was just finding it so difficult. And then one day, rather than trying to paint this rosy picture of what was going on, I thought, I'm just gonna be really honest. And I was like, do you know what guys, this is a bit. You can swear on here. Okay, fine, I can swear. It's a bit shit. It is a bit shit. I'm finding be really honest and I was like, do you know what guys, this is a bit, this. You can swear on here. Okay fine, I can swear. It's a bit shit.

It is a bit shit. Like I'm finding this really hard. I don't know how the hell I'm gonna get through this. And all of a sudden people are like, me too. I'm finding the same. Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes. And I was like, oh hang on a minute. So me just turning up as myself

and me just being completely honest about how I'm feeling and what's going on, that's okay. People are kind of accepting that. I was like, oh. So I just started sharing, sharing. It's really funny that the more I started to just share who I was and what was going on, that's okay. People are kind of accepting that. It's like, oh. So I just started sharing, sharing. It's really funny that the more I started to just share who I was and what was going on with me, the more people are completely relate to that.

This is happening. People were sharing stories and then we were swapping. And then it just, this community just built and it was just so lovely to just have these interactions with people going, I'm struggling too. Isn't it really nice just to normalize the fact this is an absolute effing shit show and we're okay. I think any mum that tries to deny that it's not a sh** show is just lying somewhere along

the line because it's hard work. It was really really hard work and then the schooling and everything like that. Then Reel's kind of launched and I've never been good at taking photos to be frank and that was the insta of beautiful kitchen islands and flower displays and all of that. I'm like, I told you, I'm outside by the climatus. You know what I mean? That's where I'm at right now. Kelly, we are the same. I literally, I focus on the reels because I think that the reels are sort of real, real life. Like that's for me too. I'm the same.

I am not like, one of the girls who I work with, Emily, is like so beautiful. She's like 26. Her pictures always look stunning. And I'm like, Emily, is like so beautiful. She's like 26. Her pictures always look stunning. And I'm like, Emily, that's never going to be me. Like I'm never going to be that person. No. Like I've just not got it within me. Even when I look back now at videos and pictures of me at like 18, I'm always like pulling

faces, put my things up, like just doing crazy stuff. Never posed and beautiful. Well someone says can I take a picture? Unless I'm doing an okay shoot. I was going an okay shoot I was gonna say I have seen a couple of magazine shoots where I completely call bullshit on that one to be honest because my problem is I get peaceitis what's that oh page yeah yeah every time someone's take a photo I want to go

that's it you're like my five-year-old so that's what she does well what that we are the same because basically my mate keeps all saying close your mouth. Why do you mind to mouth open? I always have my mouth open It's ridiculous. I'm using for pictures. It's just ridiculous. I just couldn't do any of that It's like when you're being serious almost I feel online that I'm being judged then for being serious Do you know what I mean going? Oh, she loves herself bit that I feel Yeah, we're not there people you know, you're what I mean going? Oh, she loves herself a bit that I feel I feel like a bit of a dickhead Yeah, we're not there people you can't be what you're not I mean

I feel really uncomfortable because I feel like people are like you see on people on like red carpets that kind of saunter on their Beautiful gowns and they're chatting they're having an interview and you see them kind of being really animated and all of a sudden they just go It's like the blue steel and they just when I do the red carpet, honestly I look and you know the likes of so I remember one year at the MTAs, I was behind Michelle Keegan. Oh God, she's so beautiful. She's so beautiful, obviously congratulations as well, Michelle, because she's just become a mummy.

But literally, Michelle, I've known her for so many years, she was there and she can just work it. And you know, like when they hold their hands and they do this stuff and I'm like, I literally go on on I have one hand on my hip because I feel like it makes me Look a little bit thinner. Yep, and I just do a few angles and that's it Like how do they turn around and move their dress and work it like they just know don't know and my stylist will like Kelsey Can you just do a little bit more when you're in the red carpet? I'm like, I actually don't know how because it's just not within me

Like I don't use that I have to I'd have to do like the crazy face. There must be some kind of posing school I swear to God like you know when you go to a training. There has to absolutely has to be I went to an award ceremony the other week they were like oh do you want your photo done and my agent was like yes you do oh yeah I do yeah okay yes please yes yes I would love that and I stood in front of the backboard and I started smiling and I was like what do I do with my arm so what am I what is, like it takes on a life of its own and I'm just kind of like, huh, huh. It's when they're holding together and they do all this and I'm like, oh they're so cool, they're working their bag, how are they working their dress like that?

There's a posing school somewhere that we've not been privy to, it's not fair, I want... We need to go. We need to go, we need to go to the posing school so we can start going like that, every time a taken be like more like blue steel Michelle Keegan esque photos. I mean, I mean, yeah Okay, it's not gonna happen But you know what I mean that we can we can at least try and emulate that rather than be able to take pictures on Instagram and I'm like, how does their picture look that good? Like how have they got that how many pictures actually have you seen Molly May's documentary and then yes and then on her photos she literally did have like 25 pictures of a bath I was like that's why she's getting a good picture yeah look at someone's b-roll

look just look I will be like three pictures and I'm like yeah that will do I'm the same I've not got the time no lighting is key I think lighting is a good one I've tried it before I've tried decent lighting like okay fine you look a little bit more palatable lighting is key I'm just taking notes pal, I've tried decent lighting, like okay fine you look a little bit more palatable. Lighting is key. I'm just taking notes. Palatable. I've bought like, my husband walks into the lounge sometimes and he's like I'm sorry is Steven Spielberg moving here? Like what is this rigging for a flipping 30 second reel that I'm trying to film? And he's watching I've got a ring light, I've got these two massive things up there and I'm like yeah I mean literally this is just for like one shot, I've then got to move it round and shove

it in that corner now because I'm going into that corner it's it's just ridiculous what does he think about it oh well this is the funny thing he's not on social media oh my god Nifa is my partner no no no it's just it's not his thing at all like he's in a completely different kind of side of life to be honest I don't think he's ever even seen any of my videos he hasn't done anything like it's just not his thing he's super supportive people always ask me questions about that they're like I just don't really understand how and why I'm like Because he's not actually interested at all

No, it's not his thing and I'm not gonna be that person that goes but it needs to be your thing because it's my thing And that is how you support me. No, it's not like I don't you know, well, it's your job It's like you come to sit at your desk being like I'm so proud of you this work You've done so good. It's like me saying can I join one of your team's course, please when you're talking to your team? They'd love that wouldn't they me popping up going? You know our jobs are set. Who's the tree surgeons that would be even better I'll just turn up while he's kind down a tree go baby go You think I'd be cheerleading up at the top of the tree

I'm so proud of you I'll catch the branch just throwing down What chainsaw are you using? See what I mean? In any normal walk of life, people would be like, you wouldn't... So, how was your husband's day? So, did you see that presentation he did? It was really good, wasn't it? I heard all his colleagues really liked that presentation. It's not the same. So we've got very, very different careers. We used to be quite similar in the fact that I was in a 9-5 corporate and we still talk about our day and we still kind of share what's going on and you know... judge that you're not in a nine to five job anymore. No, no, he doesn't he embraces. Oh, he completely embraces it

I think it's sometimes quite hard for people. Oh, I think so Do you know what I mean by like they're in the nine to five and they don't understand when you don't do a nine to five No, but I think sometimes it's also just self-employment generally like the flexibility So like being a co- I always have to say, I am still a working mum and that was, that was, I found that really difficult actually shifting from the nine to five corporate working to going, I don't have a real job anymore. You do have a real job. In fact, I probably work more hours now, but they're just so much more flexible. And I think that is sometimes a challenge because he's still in the corporate nine to five world. He's got a team, you know, his time is his own. He can switch off, but he's also, during those working hours, he's got a team he needs to manage

and they need him and he's dealing with that. So, you know, if the school does call and, you know, and your stomach does that flip when you pick your phone up and it says school across, shit, now what? It's me that's going to go and it's okay because my work is more flexible. There are going to be times when I'm like, well, I come here it's like, well no I'm in London so that that isn't going to work and like I've said to you before we came on, you know, he's on school pick up today just in case there's a problem with trains. So we do make it work but I fully accept that I am the one that is going to be more flexible because that's just the nature of the job and I completely appreciate that. I think it is quite hard though and me and Georgia talk about it on here that when you are like the stay-at-home mum

But you are working. Yeah, it's so difficult this morning I was on a call at like 7 o'clock this morning. Yep, but a work call and Bodie just flipped his lid About like he wanted me to read the back of a drink, you know, like the innocent drinks Yeah, the little the little fun facts and stuff. Yeah, there was a pine cone and I went, it's the same one as what you had yesterday. I've read this to you, read it to me! Literally lost it. I'm trying to go upstairs to actually get away from him.

He follows me upstairs. Yeah. He follows me downstairs. In the end I was like, can you just wait one second? I'm like, mommy's on a work call. But it's so hard. It is. So then what do you do?

Because it's hard. I now term myself a work from home mum, because I think I personally have to get into that headspace of you are still working. The kids can fuddled is probably the word when it comes to it, because my husband's got an office because he requires a shut door, phone calls with important people at work and meetings and so forth.

I need an office, don't I? Is this what you're saying to me? This is it, this is it. And this is what we've been discussing at length. Discussing, you know what I mean by that? At length. Because he's got an office so he can physically have his own space where he does whatever he needs to get done for work and can shut a door. Now the girls understand a shut door. Now my office is the flipping dining room table which is fine to an extent because... Mine's the

whole house. Okay yeah mine is to be honest because he finds me in the kitchen or the bathroom filming all kinds of stuff. I actually went and shut myself in his bedroom this morning. I was like I don't actually know where to go now. I actually I should have just locked myself in the bathroom. But then they're bang on the door like you can't win either way. I learned, I learned especially during lockdown, that the only way I was going to be able to take a call is basically take the five minutes or sometimes even ten minutes it's going to take just to settle them with whatever it takes whether it's reading the back of an innocent smoothie carton or whether it's just doing a bit of play dough or whatever it is.

And then have them and And there was a snack involved give them a snack and then go and do the thing because actually in the time It's taking you to kind of reset them. I think you also reset yourself They're calm and your calm. Sometimes life just lives and like this morning It was like I needed to get on the call to talk so it had to be done there And then driving there wasn't like I didn't have time time to go, I'm gonna set you up and do this. I was like. No, but they know you're a mom. And this is what, again, I wanted to normalize

and I normalized as much as I possibly could, was you don't have to hide the fact your kids are there. It's like, it's seven o'clock in the morning and I'm a mom, where do you think my children are? They are here and I'm trying to do breakfast and I'm trying to get them ready for nursery, for school. Yeah, and that's who's complaining about his Weetabix as well.

Of course. He wants you playing Weetabix with no milk on it this morning. Okay, that's novel. I forgot it's really gammy tasting my mouth though. I am not arguing. I was like, I'm not arguing with you. Have the Weetabix dry and disgusting and eat it. And he did actually eat it, so... Very weird.

That is very weird, but at least he ate the breakfast. Let's be frank, by the time you've dropped the kids off at school, you've lived three lives. No one seems to understand this. Other parents get it, but I literally, I come out of school, I'm like, oh my God, thank God that's over. And you see all the mums just kind of either running off to catch a train, because they've got to get to work now,

or running back for a work call, or literally coffee's in hand just like, oh, okay, we're okay. It's just utter decompress that you need. And I never used to understand it before I had kids and like, oh, I get it now, I get it now. Cause you've argued about socks and you've argued about what's going on in the lunchbox

and you can't find the water bottle. Do you know what I was thinking the other morning? I was like, I would love to have like a radio into everyone's house in the morning, that's a parent trying to get their kids out the front door because it seems like that like final three, four minutes to get them actually out of the door. Have you got your shoes on?

Have you brushed your teeth? Have you got that? What have you done this? What have you done? Like, do you know what I mean? It's just like, and then in the end, you do actually end up shouting and losing it. Not a hundred percent.

Like the amount of content I've made about that is ridiculous because there is a black hole of time somewhere because our mornings- Where does it go? I don't know because I can be so flipping smug in the mornings. I'm like, look at us, kids got up, kids are having breakfast, kids are getting dressed. Oh my goodness, we've got 20 minutes

before we have to leave the house. I've cracked it, I've cracked it. Don't know what the fuss is about. Honestly, look at me Literally within five minutes. I'm like Why are you dressed? Why are you twirling around? No, no, it's not the time to play Fibbing Barbies. What do you do? Like and I don't know It is how they get so distracted. Aralia is the worst for getting distracted. Bodhi actually listens to that

He will have his shoes on he'll be by the front door Aralia is just down like the rabbit hole of oh, I've now decided that I want to take my teacher a present from upstairs that's a bit of... This morning she took perfume sticks. I went to a perfume event and she's taking perfume sticks. I was like, did they even smell? I was like, what does this teacher actually think of me? She said, I'm going to take this in for my teacher. Yeah. I'm like, I don't think your teacher really wants perfume sticks from a perfume event last week. They don't, but what, again, teachers are flipping heroes and lovely and what they have to put up with. I mean, I can't even cope with my

two sometimes. How they cope with 30 on a daily basis is an absolute flipping miracle. I've just learnt now whenever they say I need to get, I'm like, just be quick. I'm not gonna argue, whereas my husband when he... Will argue. Oh my god, I'm just like, do you know what, pick your battles. whereas my husband when he... Will argue. Oh my God, I'm just like, do you know what? Pick your battles, just let them go. Yeah, you're right, you're right. They are making us late, but you arguing with them

about the thing that they need to desperately go and get is gonna make us doubly late. Just let it go. And when it's in their heads, they want it anyway. They do, and it's absolutely pointless. I'm like, I don't know what's going on in their head. I don't know why they need that thing. I just don't, but do you know what?

Don't question it, just go, all right, but we do have to... This is the last thing you're getting from upstairs after they've been up and down stairs 20 times. It's the last thing that they're getting. And then we're going to walk out the door. It's going to be fine. Do you have an insatiable fascination with the paranormal? Are you ready to dive head first into the eerie realms of the unexplained? Brace yourself for the supernatural world is about to reveal all of its secrets on the Paranormal Activity podcast. And who better to guide you through this hair-raising journey than myself, Yvette Fielding, renowned paranormal investigator. Every episode of Paranormal Activity takes you on an unforgettable adventure into the

unknown. I share my own encounters, chilling experiences, and exclusive insights into the world of the paranormal. But that's not all. The true heart of this podcast lies in the stories, evidence, and questions shared by our devoted listeners. Like you, whether you're a seasoned paranormal enthusiast or just starting to dip your toes into the

waters of the supernatural, Paranormal Activity with me, Yvette Fielding is your ultimate destination. Will you dare to join me? Listen to Paranormal Activity with me, Yvette Fielding, wherever you get your podcasts from. As you know, this episode of Mums the Word is brought to you by Love To Dream. Bringing a newborn home for the first time is one of those moments you can imagine over and over, but I know from Aralia and Bodhi that it can be completely different than you expect. I think with me bringing Aralia home, I was the problem.

I was so ill, I'd had preeclampsia, and I was so swollen, and I was still trying to host everyone being in my house and trying to be that perfect mum, where I should have just sat down and put my feet up and rested. My biggest worry about bringing the baby home this time is again, Aurelia, I think she's gonna be the problem. I need to just keep running through

that she is not mum, I'm the mum, and she is big sister, but that doesn't mean she can pick the baby up and walk the baby around when she wants, but I'm super excited to see what a great big brother Bodhi will be. I think newborns struggle with the transition from the womb to the crib because they're just so used to being inside you and feeling loved and feeling compact.

And that's why I love the Love to Dream Swaddle Up because it mimics the feeling of the womb, giving the babies a sense of security while allowing movement. Do you remember your mum's voice growing up and I used to think, oh, like I also have younger brothers, I always talk about them on this. And when I used to listen to my mum in the morning, I used to be like, oh my god, here she goes again. And everyone used to tell me, we've got got the trying you've got to get the train Kelsey So I said I literally live like two minutes from the train station

And I have to get a train to London every day and I'd get my mom to like drive me up there Oh, you're like I'm driving you to the station get in the car be ready And I'm like yeah, but I know but mom if I get the 740 it's all right I might just miss a bit of assembly like I'd always have an excuse But I'm like I am now my mum. I can hear her voice within me. And I'm like, I'm her, but I don't know how mums don't shout in the morning.

Is there a mum out there that doesn't shout? And doesn't lie? Because I don't believe it. I don't believe it. My friends and I are very, very honest with each other. We're very fortunate that, I've got quite a few friends that are self-employed and we do make time for each other during the week.

And we go, can we go for decompression coffee please? And what we tend to do now is we grab a coffee and then we go for it. We're really lucky where we live. We live by the river. So we'll literally grab a coffee and we'll go for a walk down the river and we just all let it go.

And I have not spoken to a mum yet. Even the nice ones that you go, no, there's no way, they never lose. They do. Everybody, because everyone's got a limit because it's absolutely human. You're not shouting at your kids because you don't love them. You're not shouting. Shouting at your kids does not make you a bad mum. Good God. You're tired and you're stressed and you are human and we all have feelings and we're allowed to go. Don't you feel like that is the air though on social media of... Sorry, I didn't mean to eye roll but yeah.

...of like if you shout at your kids you're a bad parent. Yeah, I mean... I sense it. Not even that people say it. I just feel like we're all so worried to say do you know what? Because you have to talk gently to your children. I can't do the gentle parenting. At all times. I don't know how people gentle parent.

I wouldn't class what I do as gentle parenting. I stay as calm with them as I can. I'm calm. And I talk to them and I try and rationalize their behavior and I keep thinking to myself, as an adult, when I'm in a bad mood, I've got the perspective to go, stop before you start ranting. have you had something to drink today? When was the last time you ate? When was the last time you got some fresh air?

Where are you in your cycle? Those are the four things I ask myself before I start and I'm like, oh, okay, did you sleep well last night? Like, I've got the ability to ask myself those questions. The little people, they haven't got a clue how to regulate themselves. They just get these massive feelings and they just come out. And sometimes I'm like, in my head, I'm like, fucking hell, like, what?

Why are we arguing like this over a flipping bowl of Coca Pops? This is insane. But then I just think, do you know what? We've protected them so well, because I keep looking at them thinking, this is such a small thing. Why are you making a big deal out of this?

We as parents have protected our kids so beautifully and so well that the small things are the big things to them. We shelter them beautifully. I always think this is what I tell myself to make myself feel better. That when they're kicking off about the most ridiculous of things, I'm like, that's because I've done a good job parenting because they aren't aware of all the other big things that are going on in the world. It is true. Sometimes you feel yourself saying that.

You do. You're like, you don't even know what's going on in the world that actually... Sometimes you feel yourself saying that. You do. You're like, you don't even know what's going on in the world. You don't even know. And then you go, oh, no they don't. They definitely don't. Because she's six and you know, why would she need to know that? And it's just, and I think, okay, fine,

we're very fortunate that we were able to do that. So I don't necessarily gentle parent. I do kind of get cross with them. But it's just really funny because I think there are people out there who either Not had kids and Like to tell you how you should parent your children or have forgotten what it's like to have kids Certain boomer generation shall we say no I sometimes get comments

I know when my contents hit Facebook because the moment it hits Facebook I get all the Brenda's in from number 62 kind of just you know, oh no. Oh, no that if that was my child I did you know, I did I did a reel not so long ago and my daughter's hitting tweenager The whole other ball game look forward to that one Good god the hormones which is nine now nine going on 19 and the hormones are massively kicking in and I just did a now nine going on 19 and the hormones are massively kicking in and I just did a silly little reel of the fact that she'd not she but someone I'd slam the door in my face and actually screaming into an oven glove really does help when you're a bit stressed. I knew it hit Facebook because all the comments

started coming in if that was my daughter I'd have taken the doors off their hinges they wouldn't have had a door for another two weeks. If that was my child, and I'm like, thank God she's not. Thank God that I've got a relationship with my daughter that first of all, this is a joke. Has she ever slammed a door in my face? Yeah, she did accidentally because actually her window was open and the wind blew and when she realized what had happened, she freaked.

I'm like, no, I didn't mean to slam the door. I'm like, it's fine, I get it. But I'm so glad I parent the way I parent because when that kind of sector of the internet kicks in to your inbox and like, oh, my daughter this or I'd have done this to them or I'd have done that. I'm like, oh my God, you should be allowed to have children.

Like the amount of trauma you have actively caused and they call my children in their 30s and 40s. Now I'm like, are they in therapy? Yeah, for what you've done. Do you still see them? Are you estranged from them? Because there's a lot now, I think, we talk about the gentle parenting

and kind of the air about shouting on the internet. I think shouting is perfectly healthy. We all lose our temper. There's another level of it that obviously isn't. And I think that is now getting spoken about more openly about the fact that our generation now are kind of healing through parenting. We're kind of parenting our children the way we wish we had been parented. I think that that's the kind of conversation that's opening up now. Not

necessarily saying I'm doing that all the time when I do lose my temper. No, and I just think it's so difficult because I think that's a massive topic of conversation, isn't it? But with the older way of parenting, I do agree with certain aspects and elements of it. They were a bit more like, they were more direct, weren't they? They were, there was no softly, softly. Even with Will, he's not had any children yet,

and he calls me the caver. He said, I cave. I'm like, no, I just pick my battle. That is that. I'm like, sometimes I will's, I just picked my battle. That is that. I'm like, sometimes I will cave and they probably do come to me because I have cave because I have been mum and dad. So I've, how many arguments can I actually have in a day? Because you've always got the dad to back you up. Obviously now, unfortunately I have got Will and he massively helps me, but I probably do cave a little bit more. But then I just

think, oh, but I don't know how people bit more but then I just think oh but I don't have people do the gentle parenting of how did that make you feel why did you do that believe it or not I do do that sometimes I will admit that I do you do the why I do the why because but do they even know Bodey this morning why did he carry on like that why if I asked him why it wouldn't there wouldn't be a why because it's like you know you know what? You picked up the phone, I wasn't gonna get your full bore attention and I'm an emotional manipulator, mum.

But it could be simple as that or it could simply be like, I've done it. I've done it with both of them now because it's been, with my eldest kind of coming nine and 10, I can see the hormones kicking in. Sometimes it is an absolute emotional rollercoaster at parenting, especially with you know, with all stages come with their little challenges. This one at the moment is helping her understand where the outburst

came from because sometimes like you'll say, oh time to get up in the morning or something really simple and she'll just explode and I'm like, okay don't, my children match my energy so if I explode they're going to get worse so I'm just like, okay, fine. I'm just, I'm gonna temper this one down. And then we'll say, okay, my often I'm saying, what's going on? What is this about? Like what's going on? I don't know.

But they even know, cause I remember being in like even 14 and that hormonal period, you can't even tell someone why. I don't know because literally my hormones are so raging right now. That I'm losing it. Even with like your partners and your husband, sometimes she's losing. You think, oh my god,

I would never have carried on like that like three weeks ago. No, no, but we're three weeks down the line and I'm like... What we did, so when my kids cannot identify what the problem is, we call it having a struggle day. So it's like a catchall and we've got little hand signals that they can give me because sometimes they're so... What are the hand signals? That's what I do behind the back when they're walking, no I don't. They will signal... Do do do do! Look, we do it, we all do this.

I love it, people go, oh no I don't say... Yes you do, when they walk out the kitchen, just F**K OFF! It's like, oh, after I've just done the whole, are you okay? Yeah, how are you feeling? Why do you feel like that? F**K OFF! But there are certain times when they cannot voice, you're right, they're either too little or they just can't call it. And I'll just sometimes say to them,

are you having a struggle day? And because it's a catch-all. Every day is a struggle day. Isn't it just? It just, they like the acknowledgement that someone understands it. We can't, we don't know what to call it, so that's what we call it, a struggle day.

Or they'll do the little, sometimes I look at my daughter and she'll just give me the hand signal because she doesn't even have the energy to say it and don't know what to call it. So that's what we call it, a struggle day. Or they'll do the little, sometimes I look at my daughter and she'll just give me the hand signal because she doesn't even have the energy to say it and she doesn't want to voice it and she'll just give me the hand signal, not that. There is a nice one that she'll give me. And I'm like, right, as long as you can just tell me it's a struggle day, you doesn't mean,

you doesn't know where it's coming from or what the problem is. I now know how to help you through that today. So I feel like if I gave Aurelia that option of saying it's a struggling day, that would be it. She'd be like, mom, I'm having one of them days again. You walk down, she'll be in a face mask and a cucumber. I'm having a struggling day, leave me be.

She would. I know, I know, I know. She'd be like, mom, it's one of them. But if I gave her that as an option. Just be like, no, no. But I do think that if I gave her that as an option. She'd be like, no, no. I do think that's when it comes to you do parent your children completely different. Like how I parent her to how I parent him

is completely different. Yeah, it is. It is, and it's first and second child. It's completely different. My first did make me think I could have 10 children. My second made me realize we were absolutely stopping at two. She is a whirlwind and a half. I'm going for the third.

Yeah, yeah, you'll be fine, it'll be fine. It'll be fine! She says. That's when people go to me, oh so you're like, yep I'm crazy, I'm having another one, I know. But you know what, and I think this goes back to it as well, like everyone's got their own opinion and the social media's got its good and its bad sides right, but I think the one thing that I love about it is it opens up so many types of conversations and you meet people that you would never normally meet in your walk of life and in wherever and I love hearing all the different kind of thoughts and seeing people's... ...it's got such a wanky word but I do love it I love seeing how people do it

for me too was a beautiful amount for my friend she had five you know like... Yeah when they're having five I'm like how? What's it? My best friend is one of five and I was with her mom at school, they have to have a date and I went, but how did you even get them to activities? I don't know how you did it, you went, Kelsey, you just do it.

You just do, I think that's it. With this one, I'm like, how are they, they just have to come everywhere with me, but that's obviously not a problem because they can come everywhere with me, but I just love children. Like obviously I've had a job teaching children since I was 21. I've had my performing arts school. So for me kids, I mean last week I came out of

the dance class and I went to all the parents, just to let you know it's all a full moon today and that is why your children are carrying on like this. Because like this week I came out and it was so calm. Like how two weeks and now I'm a grown-up I can go oh my god like the moon has actually affected these children yes and birth rate and all of that stuff no it's true they go back shit crazy they go absolutely and you just can't call it sometimes I do there's another thing I look at my kids are going mental I'm just like what is happening in life what is happening is there a full moon that used to be a running joke to me my NCT group is it a

full how far away is the full moon we'd even call it when it was like a week out. Oh, it's a full moon in a week. It's already started. It's approaching. They're going mental because of that particular reason. We're always looking for some reason that they've gone absolutely batshit crazy, aren't we, let's be frank.

How are you finding primary school age? I do love it. I actually love primary school. How do you find like homework and spellings? Don't. Homework, I'll be honest, homework for us is sometimes very, very hit and miss. I think I... Do you sometimes not do it? Yeah. Yeah. What does the teacher say? It depends. So with, when they're in infants, we always make an effort to sit down and do it. I think I have a little bit of trauma, light touch trauma from COVID homeschooling.

And I think I have like an- How old were the girls? Grace was reception year one during it and Abby was still a toddler. God, that was awful. Do you feel like that has affected her from having that, whoa, what did she have off school in the end?

Quite a lot actually. A year? A full year off school. She had a full year and then didn't we go back into lockdown for a little bit as well. There was that period where I felt like we were kind of like, it was like the lockdown hokey-cokey wasn't it? It was like, you're in, you're out,

you're in, you're out, you're in, you're out. And I was like, oh come on guys, come on. Someone put it on their stories. Cause you know, I think yesterday was a five year anniversary of lockdown. But they were like one minute they're telling us to eat out. Then what was it? Eat out, what was their slogan eat out help out and then the

next minute we're then getting locked down again yeah I think it the signals were just so confusing if we were in a relationship you know I didn't luckily I was just you know the four of us locked in our house I say luckily together so there was none of that I thought it wasn't luckily at all trying to work with we had we had schedules written up like just trying to make it work because trying to trying to teach my eldest year one her stuff and I think that was what worried me the most the I think she got through most of reception I think and it was year one it hit so she got through the basics but she'd only really had a year at school before

all of a sudden she was out of school and then she was having to you know learn all this stuff and but then we as parents are having to learn it I'm not a teacher by trade and it was that moment now I knew teaching was a skill do not get me wrong but I didn't realize how much of a skill it is until you're physically having to do and that's just with your one child because you have to have patience oh my god and I didn't have any what because I was also trying to do my normal 95 don't get me wrong We're like everyone was trying to adapt weren't they everyone was trying to work out

What does this mean? How am I supposed to do my work and infrastructure was coming in and all of a sudden you weren't seeing your colleagues anymore And you were trying to work out how how to live how to do your job as well as trying to amuse a toddler Who can't be amused? God bless Peppa Pig. I can't stand stand it now. And he watched every episode. Oh don't, I'd get... Mommy Pig's having a baby as well! Oh don't, honestly we... as soon as Covid was over, I think that's why I can't do Peppa

Pig anymore. Peppa Pig has gone, has been replaced by the wonderful Bluey and also try and teach, you know, my eldest stuff, be it reading and maths and... but teaching her in a way that isn't going to ruin her because that was the fear all the way through. I was like, I'm going to teach you wrong and you're going to end up stupid and then you're not going to get a job. And I catastrophised absolutely everything. I can see how, because even, Aurelia's swapped schools and they learnt a different phonics in a road school to what they learn in this school. So I completely feel you on that one

because I would have the biggest panic. I mean mean she was only nine months out in lockdown. So I don't know if that was a good or bad thing either I don't know at least you couldn't talk back. Yeah, no that that was that was the other fun stuff It's like I know you bored. Mommy's pretty bored too. If everyone in this house. Can we do something? Can we do something? I don't know how you did it. I don't know how parents did it. I don't and literally back then I mean, you know, it was a really hard time for everybody for so many so many different reasons I used to look forward to that one walk We were allowed and I would take that one walk on my own because I had to get out of my house We were all doing these separately these walks. Oh my god, a hundred percent. I was like no, no, no, no

I this is mommy's time because I would normally start work probably about six in the morning So I'd get up early and I'd do six until 10 and then my husband would have the kids for those four hours and I mean they weren't always up at six but he'd do that and then at 10 I put on my teacher hat when I became teacher until just after lunchtime and then we'd swap over again or we might have to kind of try and work and teach at the same time but we felt that we kind of given each other enough concentrated time to be able to do that but yeah no no. How did people do it? I don't know how people did it to be honest. But yeah it taught me I couldn't teach let's just put it that way which I think

is then going back to the homework thing is why sometimes when we have to sit down at a table and do homework together I feel myself going oh god oh god we're a lot better at it now because life has calmed down a lot more and I have been able to implement routine and structure in a way that I just hadn't previously and it's like no no no this is when we're doing it this is when we're going to sit down and sort it my youngest is really good she loves homework little swap she absolutely loves it so she will quite happily sit down. Every parent listening to this right now is like your daughter loves it. Oh she loves it, no genuinely like we print off more sheets for

her like she's the child that wants to learn and she wants to write and she wants to do maths and she's she absolutely loves to yeah she wants to do it until she doesn't let's be frank okay. Don't they all don't they all. I mean there's a switch that gets flipped every now and again Where is my eldest? Oh do later mom. Oh, I'll do it later mom. I'll do it later mom And I got to the point where I was like, do you know what? You are going to be going to second because get the hell out me secondary school in about 18 months and they're not gonna put Up with this so I'm not going to force you to sit at a table and do your homework I am going to create an environment in which you can actively do it. I'm gonna say, this is a really good time

to do your homework, your sister's an activity. You've got my full attention right now. Let's grab a snack, let's sit down. But she's also at the age now where she's supposed to do it completely independent of me, which is fine, but it's just getting her to sit down. I think you've gotta be overseeing it the whole time. I'm just like, are you doing it?

And should we do your homework now? Oh, I'll do it in a bit. Should you do your homework? We're doing a bit and I just got sick of my own voice So I was like, okay fine. So then I would add reminder every day. We still need to do your homework, don't we? UGH! UGH! I was like fine. And it would get to Friday morning and I go so did the homework get done? No, no it didn't No, it didn't. Um, um, um And then she kind of going to overdrive and I was just like I'm not

Trying to create an environment in which you now panic and have a meltdown about this. This is where the mum voice comes in. Well, I did tell you throughout the week that you needed to do your homework and you've not done it. And I've given you four other opportunities to do it. Yeah, I hate to say it's all the same, but I don't at all.

I did tell you so. And it's a learning moment, isn't it? This is a moment for education. It's just a case of so and it's a learning moment isn't it? This is a moment for education. It's just a case of fine. It's a teaching moment right? We are now in a place where I'm sick of my own voice, I've told you need to do your homework, you know you need to do your homework but you've not done it. Does she have the fear of the teacher? 100%. She's a rules orientated child right?

That is her right. She doesn't want to look bad on the teacher. No, no, not at all. She doesn't want that teacher to look bad on me. She knows she's got to do it. It's not bad for me. God, my baby brain is bad today. We had parents evening not too long ago. And I'm never a brace yourself for parents evening kind of person ever because I know

the girls, the girls are good in school, but you know, her teacher was like, she's an exemplary pupil. She's a role model. She's so kind to her friends and you know, she's just wonderful and she's got a real appetite for learning. And I'm like, which child are we talking about? And it's just one of those moments where you're like, I know I'm listening about my child,

but the kind of personality traits and attributes you're telling me right now, I just wanna double check we're talking about the same child. We don't get her at home. No, we don't get her. Well, we get her, but we see snippets of that. And then people always go, oh, I know. But when the child has a meltdown on you,

it's because you're their safe place I'm like then I must be fucking Fort Knox because the amount of meltdowns I will get I'm like, okay, okay And it was oh, it's restraint collapse and restraint collapse is a thing Right, so they've been so good at school all day when mine get in the car the car journey because we always have to go to gymnastics or to a club because Whether like the at the five-year-old stage their clubs are always so early aren't they? Yes they are. So we always drive to a club and they will both be having a meltdown in the back of the car About something of what food you've bought how it's not right

I don't really get I don't want to go to the club because she absolutely loves our school clubs But there will be something that the door didn't shut right. Yep. Seatbelt's too tight. Yep, yep, yep. There's something that they've got at home but I just think, do you know what? You've had to be good at school all day. And now you're with me. But I remember when I- And you can let loose.

Oh my God, don't they let loose. But I remember when I used to leave the office and I'd get home and people would talk to me and be like, oh my God, leave me alone. Why are people talking to me all day? I'm like, I don't want people to talk to me right now. Nobody talked to me. No one talked to me and I'm like,

okay, well, if I was doing that as a grown up, I completely get that with the kids. I do completely get that, but more and more, I feel like just getting it printed on a t-shirt. Why are you shouting at me? Why are you shouting at me? I keep saying, mommy hasn't raised her voice at you, so could you do me the courtesy

of not raising your voice at me? Use your words. I mean, usual words it's just the common phrases that just keep coming out now it's just like I don't I don't shout. But you feel like you're stuck on repeat. I am stuck on repeat. Well my mum's where I'm stuck on repeat continuously and I've just got to the point now where I actually had to say to them once when you shout at me I can't hear you I'm not listening to you when you shout at me as soon as you bring it down I can hear you words better but right now I'm not listening I'm not listening and I'll just walk off now and that's what again you can hear

your own mum's voice when you ready to talk to me in a normal voice I'll be in the kitchen love it well I have loved all the advice my god was the revised in there oh my goodness there was lots of advice. Was there? Was there? I loved it. Thank you for coming on Kelly. Thank you for having me. It's been brilliant. So guys that's a wrap on another episode of Mums the Word. Thank you so much for joining us today as we were joined by the amazing Kelly Taylor. Don't forget to leave us a review, follow us on socials at at mums the word underscore pod and subscribe to our youtube channel just search mums the word. Until next time I'm Kelsey Parker and this has been mums the word and we'll be back with another episode same time same place next week.