Mum's The Word! The Parenting Podcast - LAURA ANDERSON: Single Motherhood, Life after Love Island & Loving Her New Body

Episode Date: October 28, 2024

This week on Mum's The Word, Kelsey Parker is joined by former Love Island star Laura Anderson to chat all about her exciting journey into motherhood. Laura opens up about life as a single working mum, the challenges she’s faced, and how she’s embraced her new role. From candid conversations about learning to love her post-partum body to discussing whether she has plans for baby number two, Laura gets real about it all. Plus, she’s answering your questions in a heartfelt and honest conversation. Don’t miss this episode!Tune in for a raw, uplifting chat about the ups and downs of motherhoodA Create Podcast Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

At Wealthsimple, we're built for whatever you're building. Built for Jane, who wants to break into the housing market. We're built for Ted, who's obsessed with what's happening in the global markets. And built for Celine, who just wants to retire and explore the world's flea markets. So take a moment and think about what you're building for. We've got the financial tools to help make it happen. Wealthsimple, built for possibilities. Visit wealthsimple.com slash possibilities.

Acast powers the world's best podcasts. Here's a show that we recommend. Halloween horrors abound. This spooky season with these hair-raising podcasts. The Magnus Protocol. Catch you next time, dearie. No, you won't. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha. After Dark. And with that, the curtain falls on the story of Anne Boleyn.

The Red Room. Exploring Irish ghost stories and haunted Irish history. Listen to these Acast shows wherever you get your podcasts. Acast helps creators launch, grow, and monetize their podcasts everywhere. Acast.com. everywhere. Acast.com.

Hello and welcome back to Mums the Word with me, Kelsey Parker. I'm so excited for today's episode because we've got a very special guest joining us. She's an absolute legend from the world of reality TV and now she's navigating the ups and downs of motherhood just like us. It's the one and only Laura Anderson. On today's episode, we look at Laura's journey into motherhood.

Becoming a mother has completely changed my whole perspective and focus on life. I just feel I was just meant to be a mum. Life after reality TV. Honestly, I'm trying really hard to find that balance so that, you know, you just want to be happy. And I always say to pregnant people, I'm like, lap this time up. Oh yeah.

The unfiltered truth about the postpartum body. And I prefer my boobs, they're saggier, they're smaller. Because I've got fake boobs and they were just too big before. So I prefer them. So have your boobs changed? Yeah, one of them bends to the right because she always sucks on that one. Being a parent in the public eye. I feel like I've enjoyed social media more since I've become a mum. Because I've got a lot of mums that follow me.

And it does feel like this really cool army, like I actually love it. And of course, answer your listener questions. Her boyfriend. How are you supposed to explain incest to five year olds? Yeah, and I was like, no, Aurelia does love you, but you will be the uncle of the six children

that she's going to have. So grab a cuppa get comfy and let's jump into a brand new episode of Mums the Word and welcome to the show. Laura! Oh my god thanks so much for having me. How you been? I've been so good I feel like the yellow one here is making me feel happy it's kind of like the sunshine. The sunshine of life and being a parent. So tell me, you've gone from air hostess to Love Island to mother to now radio presenter. Tell me about your journey and where you're at now with life. Oh, I mean, having Bonnie, having my daughter, I have to say, becoming a mother has completely changed my whole perspective and focus on life. I just feel I was just meant to be a mum.

I genuinely love it. And I don't know if it's just because of her or how she is, we just have so much fun together. But I just, you know, I just prioritise everything differently. Like time, I think, I just prioritise everything differently. Like time, I think, is just crucial. It's like the recipe for happiness and success. If you've got that kind of, you know, the luxury of just time and being in the moment. I think before I was always living too fast paced with different jobs and even after Love Island, you know, just being in the mix of it here in London.

Well, I think, yeah, coming out of a show like Love Island, you sort of want to seize every opportunity. Yeah. And I'm very much make Haywire the Sunshine. Do you know what I mean? Like literally seize every moment. I guess that's what you did. I did.

And I was selfish, I guess. It was just me. But now I just love kind of being there for her and everything's about her and just providing for her and she's just my number one priority Obviously, there's struggles kind of doing it by myself But I do I just she's just my focus and I just love it So I think everything I've done in my life literally the best thing. I know that sounds really cheesy, but I'm being genuine I just I love her so I feel like I'm gonna cry. I just love her so much and I just like, I feel like no matter how hard it's been, like

it was meant to happen this way, you know what I mean? Everything happens for a reason. Oh my god, she's tearing up. I can't, Laura, do you not know that I can't deal with tears? I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears, you're gonna make me cry. Oh my god, no I miss her. I've only been away from her for like literally a day but she's just so incredible like she just lights up every

Room and we just have so much fun. So did you ever think that you'd have this feeling? Of being a mum. I'm so embarrassed. She's very overwhelmed about being a mum. No I love it. I get that. Do you know what as well speaking for you? I think doing it on your own speaking for you, I think doing it on your own is hard and difficult. And we face so many challenges doing it on your own because it's ultimately just you. And like for me, it's just me and I'm everything for my children. And I think it's that feeling of the love that your kids give you. Yeah, there's a lot of pressure to provide and the future is quite unknown in that sense. I mean, when I kind of went into, you know, because Bonnie was planned and even though

me and her dad hadn't actually been together for that long, I felt in a very safe space. How long have you been together before you did four-permanent? Like only a few months and, you know, we really tried. I mean, I was, he told me about the ovulation test because he had four kids so he kind of knew, you know, what really tried. I mean, I was, he told me about the ovulation test because he had four kids, so he kind of knew, you know, what to do or whatever. So he said, oh, you need to do the ovulation sticks because your app's not going to be correct. And I didn't even know that.

So as soon as I did that, yeah, it just worked. Like first time. And I really felt like I was in a safe space with him because he had four kids. He was always talking about his kids. He just, I felt like he's done it before. I'm not going to be doing this myself, you know, uh uh uh dun dun dun in the end. But I just probably, maybe I was too naive in that sense. I've always been very maternal, you know, like I like to look after my friends and you know,

and then I got my dog, that was kind of the first taster when I came out of Love Island and got Buddy. So it's quite natural for me to be caring. But I think yeah, the transition from being pregnant which was really tricky for lots of reasons, when I didn't feel that connected to her but then when she came, oh my god, the love is insane and it just grows every day. Yeah and it is a love like no other, you can't explain it. No I even worry about if I had another would I love them as much? People do worry about that but I think you know what for me because I had them so close together it was like

And then you probably have even more love seeing them together and what we do miss out on is not seeing the love with the dad who you know if you were they were here or you were together it's like you would be so in love with your partner and then you would have that luxury of watching daddy and baby together. And I feel a bit like maybe I'm a bit resentful or a bit bitter about not having that, especially when I was pregnant. I remember wanting to kind of have that person to look after me and go get me ice. So did you split up during your pregnancy? Yeah, like very early on. Yeah. So did you split up during your pregnancy? Yeah like very early on yeah so that was like. So you planned the baby and then you then split up? Yeah I felt

like once I became pregnant like a lot of things changed which was very strange for me you know a lot of things I didn't know about you know her dad in a sense like I'm not I don't obviously want to say but like yeah a lot of things I didn't know about, you know, her dad in a sense, like, not, I don't obviously want to say, but like, yeah, a lot of things I didn't know. And I just had to remove myself from the situation. And I think you do get that inner strength when you've got the responsibility of even though she was still inside my tummy, it was like, I can't have her in this situation. So I think sometimes probably in the past, I've stayed in relationships that I shouldn't have done because you don't put yourself first

and you just deal with things. But then when you've got a little tiny human that you need to be healthy for and not in maybe a toxic environment and things, you do have that inner strength to look out for them even before yourself. But I think we're here to grow and learn and it is a journey that you're on. And even like obviously for me, I didn't plan the journey that's happened to me. And I feel like obviously

something was stolen from me, but for a completely different person to you. I felt like that on my journey, you know, I remember falling pregnant and someone saying to me, oh my God, it's the perfect like life, isn't it? You've got you, Tom, you're married, you've got a girl and now you have a little boy. Like literally 2.4 families, isn't it? Like the perfect family. And it got ripped from underneath my feet

and taken from me. And I think that makes us strong and you know, the same view you planned baby. And then it's not gone how you thought it was going to go. But yeah, it makes you strong, doesn't it? It makes you push through and... But where do you, how do you get to a point of not being angry and not resentful and not letting it stop you move forward? It takes quite a bit of time to, and it does that even ever stop? I don't know.

I don't know if that, it will, I don't, for me obviously it will never stop that feeling, but I guess for you, you were meant to be, I say you're meant to be in where you are right now on this path and that was your path and that was your journey and she was sent to you for a reason. Yeah and I can definitely now that she interacts with me more and to be honest, pretty much since she was born anyway, it was really only the pregnancy that was I felt a bit disconnected. But I do feel like she was meant to be my baby. And even though I'm not with her dad, and she's half of him, you know, and I would love for that

to have worked out. Because even the other day I realised if I have another baby, then she's never going to have a full sibling. Yeah, but I've not got a full sibling. There's four of us. Right. And my older brother has a different dad, I have a different dad, and then my two younger brothers have different dads. But we don't even talk like that. Yeah, I've got a half sister as well. And I've got a full sister and a half sister. We don't talk like that either. I've got a half sister as well, and I've got a full sister and a half sister, and we don't talk like that either.

No, and it was weird. But it's just that guilt thing that I just was like, oh, I don't know. But I guess you were gonna have guilt for whatever reason, because I have guilt about that. My mum and dad didn't stay together. They broke up when I was like 10 years old, and I always wanted, my dream was to be with my husband

forever and have this family and have the two kids that were from the same dad because I wasn't from that. But again, it's... But then I had that in a sense, and that's why I wanted it and then you didn't and you want it, yeah. But I think, like someone said to me before, oh, they're only your half-brothers. I was like, sorry. Don't say that, no.

I was like, what? I was like, oh no, we don't feel like that at all. No, I'm probably more similar to my half-sister in a sense. I was like, what? I was like, oh no, we don't feel like that at all. No, I'm probably more similar to my half sister in a sense. And we, I didn't meet her. She's 10 years older than me, but I didn't meet her or know about her until I was 13, 14. My dad had her, you know, before he met my mom, my mom knew about it, but me and my full sister didn't and we became so close. that gives me hope and also I stay in contact with Bonnie's dad's ex-wife who has her four kids with Gary and we stay in contact and we FaceTime the kids and we're gonna you know meet up I think at Christmas and make sure that them as

half siblings are in each other's lives regardless of what's happened with both of us, you know, and Gary or whatever. So I'm really like grateful for that because that doesn't always happen. And you know what I think is great is the world we live in now that, you know, even when women stick together, but also just like, you know, when she goes to school and they'll talk about families because that like definitely in reception in year one they really talk about families and where you're from and the different types of families. Like, you know, the world we live in now.

I'm sure it's very inclusive now. Yes. It's so inclusive. Yeah, yeah, that's good. I was always worried about that, that Aurelia's got to go to school and Bodie and go, oh, my daddy's dead and we don't have a dad, but we do have a dad. It's like for them, they were like, my dad's in heaven, but he's, I mean, it's very confusing for them. Well, that takes the pressure off if you think about it. Because I mean, I literally haven't

thought about that till you said it now. God, I can't imagine. I mean, you've got a little while until she goes to school. She's grown so fast, so quickly, as you know, time just flies. But yeah, I think like school will be amazing to have that support to teach our kids. Cause at this moment in time, it's just been me teaching her everything. You know, how to walk, I mean, she doesn't talk yet, but even eating and you know, you're doing everything.

And it is quite nice actually to think, God, teachers will help me with manners and so many things. Manners being the first one. I thought it was the first thing I thought of, manners well. But what does she like Bonnie? What does she like? She's like very cheeky, very naughty, very sassy, you know she's got a massive personality. I think she's been here before. Oh I'm like a massive believer. Both of my kids have been here before. You know, it's just that I just speak to her all the time, you know, in the house. I tell her what I'm doing because I want her to and she understands but she doesn't fully talk.

Like if I say go and get your dolly, get some milk. She's got that scary baby Annabelle. It freaks me out. Anyway, me out. Anyways she brings its milk. Do you know what? Aurelia's got Rebongs, they're cold and they look like newborn babies, they're really weird. Yeah and they crawl in your bed in the middle of the night and stuff. It freaks me out, I've watched too many scary films. But she, you know, I'll say to her go and get the baby, go and get the milk, does your baby want to go for a nap? And she's like shh, like this. So she knows to go and get things but she just doesn't say things. the other night I said are you going to bed are you ready to go to bed and she went night night like that and I was like did you just say night night and then she didn't

say again but um yeah she's just um she's I think she's gonna be yeah really intelligent really silly I mean she loves to dance but she's always smiling and she just knows what she wants and it's funny watching my mum, because my mum looks after her when I'm at the radio in the morning and we talk about all the things. My mum, you know, kind of does a handover when I get in and tells me things. And sometimes I feel a bit bad because I feel like I've missed something. But you know, my mum thinks it's funny and she'll say, oh, I can't believe she's doing this. And then she'll say, actually Laura, no, that's you. That's what you did. So it's amazing to hear from my mum. What you were like, actually,

she's so like me because I think initially everyone said she looks so like her dad, which, you know, it's fine, but you kind of do want your kids to resemble you a little bit. Laura, I literally get it all the time. Nobody tells me that my kids look like me. They only say that they look like Tom. And I'm like, okay, I know their dad is no longer with us, but please can someone just tell me that my kids look a little bit like me. I get it with Aurelia, I do see Tom. Okay, they've changed so much though.

I'm like, Barry's like me. Can people say that he looks like me? He definitely looks more like my family. No, I never get it. I only ever get, oh my God, they look like their dads Can people say that he looks like me? He definitely looks more like my family. No, I never get it. I only ever get, oh my God, they look like their dads. It's weird, isn't it? I birthed them and prolapsed for them. Oh my God.

Please tell me they look like me. The thing that annoys me is like, I mean, I don't know if I'm just biased, but I think Bonnie's so beautiful and people do say it and stuff. And they always say, oh my God, look at her big, beautiful blue eyes. And then they look at me and I'm sorry, but I've got big, beautiful blue eyes. And they always say, Oh my God, look at her big, beautiful blue eyes. And then they look at me and I'm sorry, but I've got big, beautiful eyes and they never say, Oh,

she looks like you. They just don't say anything. They just go, yeah. You have got lovely blue eyes. I know. Gary's eyes are black. Did your mum come over at 4.30 in the morning? So I get out at 4.30 and my mum comes over at 10 past five and I go and she sits and waits for Bonnie to wake up. Are you sure my mum okay about that? Well, I employed her so she was a carer, really hard working, my mum. I don't come from money

or anything like that. My parents have always worked a lot. And I said, if I match your salary, will you give up your caring job and work for me in a sense and be with Bonnie because I tried to look at nannies and I just couldn't, I couldn't do it. They were all, I looked at them on the nanny cam and they were on their phone and the trial and I had a meltdown and I was like I don't trust anyone. Oh you actually got nannies in? Yeah I trialed some because you know when I got the radio job it was like this is too early there's no normal nurseries open. Like, what am I going to do? Is there no way I can drop my kid at half four in the morning?

Yeah, no, there's not, apparently. So, you know, this I was looking at all the different options and I never really thought about childcare before because I was kind of working for myself. I was in the house and also thought, you know, Gary would partly be there as well. So I never actually thought about childcare how much it costs and what I was going to do and I just couldn't you know turn down this this role that I felt like I was really lucky to get. But also I think for Bonnie to watch you work and go to work is so inspiring for her I know she's only one but you know as she goes gets older like my kids know that I have to go

to work to provide for them and I say it to them all the time. I'm like, if mommy doesn't go to work, we won't be living in this house. Right. Because it is the truth. Like when Tom died, there was, there was like, you know, we still had a mortgage on our house. So I'm still paying the mortgage. But I mean, I have to, I have to work. There's no other option.

And I do actually love work. Yeah. But you're the same. And I think it's inspiring for children to look at their parents who are working and out there and... Yeah and everyone has said that to me. I think yeah I'm struggling a little bit at the minute, it's this whole time thing, it's just could I, you know you always end up living within your means. And I'm a bit greedy. I like clothes and I think I'm a shopaholic. So, you know, I have always spent the money that I've earned and I thank God could I just work less, earn less money and be with her. So I'm struggling with that at the minute because I do like, I don't like to turn down opportunities, but then

I just want to be with her all the time. it's because she's so young I never really had maternity leave in a sense. I just always like straight away was working But like maybe a couple of weeks after she was born I guess it's different when you're doing stuff in the house and I was lucky to be an influencer or whatever You know, so I was always getting money coming in. Me and George by Bradley Severde, my co-host George, we said it is hard But me and George by quite at least every day, my co-host Georgia, we said it is hard being an influencer at home because you sort of feel like your children have got to be there

because you're working from home, but then also you need that time as an influencer to like focus on what you're doing and then have childcare for them. There is that work life balance of having them at home. I have no balance in my life at all. Is that, have you always been like that though? No, because when it was just me, you know, I would be,

I would have me time. Yeah, I'd love such a movie bath. I love sitting and watching films. I mean, God, I don't, there's no time for that. I don't even have time to like shower. I'm not even joking, you know, and thinking about being romantic again with someone, it's scary. How am I going to find that time? And I always think, you

know, if one thing, the other day I said, actually you know what, you can't have it all and I do stand by that. I've always been someone that's really positive and thinks you can have it all. But I just, right now I just don't think you can. I think if your work's doing well, as your child's suffering in the sense, not suffering, but you feel like they're suffering because you're not giving your energy and time to them, you know, your partner's probably not getting any in the sack at night because you're knackered or whatever. Sorry, I didn't mean to say that, that was a bit crude. Oh, I love it. We love it on this show.

That's fine, that's not that bad. I've said worse. Or, you know, you don't see your friends or your family because there's just not enough time. I don't know what I used to do with my time when I think about it. Honestly, I'm trying really hard to find that balance so that, you know, because you just wanna be happy. And I always say to pregnant people, I'm like, lap this time. Oh yeah.

Lap it up, don't worry about your pregnancy. Because you know when you're pregnant, you just think this, like, oh my God, I'm pregnant. This is going. Oh, it was actually really a chill time for me. The advice would be Chill just watch films watch films put your feet up, especially with your first because you're not getting that with your second Well, that's what I don't understand also I've no idea how I would have another baby because what the hell do you do with the other one? You just hold them then your big belly's there and oh I just don't even know and then what so

do they share a room if you've not got a massive house and then one wakes up the other one imagine you had twins they just be used to each other my brother shared a room and then one would be screaming in the night the other one wouldn't even bat an eyelid and like when we've just been on holiday it's already woke up in the night yeah Aurelia wouldn't wake up. They just use, I think you're used to your surroundings. I think I make it too quiet in the flat. I don't even cook.

I don't cook dinner. She goes to bed and I tip to about like a little mouse and I have like cereal. Really? I'm too scared that she wakes up. Honestly, it's really bad. But if you did have more kids, you wouldn't worry about that.

I know. The baby would be used to the noise. Like I've got a big... I know. Does your dog not bark? So he barks when the door goes. So I put the buzzer off when she naps and then I mess with the parcels.

It's really annoying. Yeah, cause my dogs, I've got a Chihuahua cross poodle. Oh God, yappy. And she is so yappy barks at the door. Like my kids are just used to it. Even in the night when they're in bed to sleep, they won't wake up to her barking because they're just used to it.

Yeah. Then you've got to make loads of noise. I think you have to have them surrounded by noise. Well, she stays at my dad's, you know, her granddad. My dad has her every second Sunday for me because my mom has my sister's little boy. And like, my dad is so loud. Like I know they have the TV blaring and he's only got a

little house so she'll be upstairs like literally above the TV and I'm always worried I'm like I hope she gets a good sleep and they're like yeah she slept like 12 hours I'm like did you check the camera yeah but I think when they always go to like when my kids go to my mum's she'll be like oh yeah they were great last night oh they didn't wake up wake up at all. Did you hear them though? I don't trust anyone. In my mums they actually sleep in the room with my mum and my stepdad. That's what he actually rang me this morning we had a conversation this morning he went well I when are they gonna actually move into like their own room when they're here because they've like got a downstairs like study that pulls out into a bed. They're just not ready yet they're only little and I said mum loves

having them upstairs of her in the bed. So. So wait, the four of them are in the bed? Well, no, they've got like a little put me up bed. Bodie probably sleeps in bed with them, but Aurelia sleeps in like this frozen. Am I missing out then? Because I've genuinely never done this with Bonnie. Like I had a couple of contact naps when she was a baby, but even like- What, like co-sleeping? I've never done co-sleeping ever. Like she was in the next to me cot,

and then at the time Gary was snoring like a tripper, he was driving me insane. So that didn't really work when she got a bit older, cause she would wake up. But I've never, even if she was unsettled, say like in the night she has some night terrors, Oh God. So I would actually, you know, think,

Oh, maybe I'll bring her in with me, she's not interested. No, I don't. My personal experience. Is it a girl? Aurelia was never bothered about sleeping with me ever. She wants hugs now. Yeah. And she'll want to get up and I'll give her, you know, a bottle change and I could do whatever, you know, process of elimination to get her to go back down.

But yeah, she just never has never been a thing. But I've heard, you know, it can be a nightmare if they don't want to go into their own bed. So maybe I'm lucky. Aurelia will say to me now when she gets into bed, she'll go, oh Can you just sleep with me and cuddle me? And I'm like, you don't actually want me to sleep in this bed with you She's like, okay, you can go downstairs now, but Bodie, he is the, he will creep into my bed He'll creep in.

It's kind of cute though, maybe it'll change when she's older, who knows? I'm excited. If you have a boy. Oh god. Do you have an insatiable fascination with the paranormal? Are you ready to dive headfirst into the eerie realms of the unexplained? Brace yourself for the supernatural world is about to reveal all of its secrets on the Paranormal Activity podcast. And who better to guide you through this hair-raising journey than myself, Yvette Fielding, renowned paranormal investigator. Every episode of Paranormal Activity takes you on

an unforgettable adventure into the unknown. I share my own encounters, chilling experiences, and exclusive insights into the world of the paranormal. But that's not all. The true heart of this podcast lies in the stories, evidence and questions shared by our devoted listeners. Like you, whether you're a seasoned paranormal enthusiast or just starting to dip your toes into the waters of the supernatural. Paranormal Activity with me, Yvette Fielding, is your ultimate destination. Will you dare to join me? Listen to Paranormal Activity with me, Yvette Fielding, wherever you get your podcasts from. At Wealthsimple, we're built for whatever you're building. Built for Jane, who wants

to break into the housing market. We're built for Ted, who's obsessed with what's happening in the global markets. And built for Celine, who just wants to retire and explore the world's flea markets. So take a moment and think about what you're building for. We've got the financial tools to help make it happen. Wealthsimple. Built for possibilities. Visit wealthsimple. Built for possibilities. Visit wealthsimple.com slash possibilities. Acast powers the world's best podcasts. Here's a show that we recommend.

Halloween horrors abound. This spooky season with these hair-raising podcasts. The Magnus Protocol. Catch you next time, dearie. No, you won't. After Dark. And with that, the curtain falls on the story of Anne Boleyn. The Red Room. Exploring Irish ghost stories and haunted Irish history. Listen to these Acast shows wherever you get your podcasts. Acast helps creators launch, grow,

and monetize their podcasts everywhere. Acast.com. Right, so your personal journey with body image after having a baby, how do you feel? How was your recovery? Weirdly, I feel better than ever. Can I just say you look incredible. I just, I don't know if it's just because I don't care as much. You know, I think I've always been quite confident in myself and the way that I see sort of like self-esteem and stuff is I know I can look good because it just takes a lot of effort and I know that

I can look bad when I don't make an effort but I like who I am like inside so that's why I'm you know quite content with myself. I think a lot of people that maybe are insecure with their outer shell are just too vain and too focused on thinking it's so important. We all want to look good, but I think when you come to terms with the fact that sometimes you're gonna look good

and sometimes you're not. And the older you get, you kind of figure out what suits you and it's okay to have a bad day where you just your hair doesn't sit right like mine doesn't sit right today. It's not that big a deal. Like if you've got people around you that love you anyway, do you know what I mean? Like you shouldn't feel rubbish. But I do get, you know, the change in your body. It's a big deal. I really enjoyed the bump thing. I tried to dress, really make an effort to be honest. If I've got fake tan on I'm winning. So you're a big deal. I really enjoyed the bump thing. I tried to dress, really make an effort. To be honest, if I've got fake tan on, I'm winning.

So you're a fake tan on. Honestly, if I've got fake tan on, I just think my hair looks like a nice colour, my nails look better. I don't know. The tan for me is a big one. I do feel really gross without it. So I always put fake tan on when I was pregnant. But then after it, I think the breastfeeding helps sort of shrink, you know, the uterus and stuff. So my belly kind of went down quite quickly and I worked out when I was pregnant. So I definitely think that was great. And I prefer my boobs. They're saggier, they're smaller because I've got fake boobs and they were just too big before. So I prefer them.

So have your boobs changed? Yeah, one of them bends to the right because she always sucked on that one and her head would always be a bit bent and I knew it was going to happen. It's not fully bent but my nipple kind of goes like what to the one, do you want to see? Show me! Show me your nipples! But again it's a bit strange, I can only notice it, you probably wouldn't be able to notice it, but I kind of like it because I'm like oh that's when I was breastfeeding her.

Yeah I've got one boob like so much bigger than the other because they loved the... I can only notice it, you probably wouldn't be able to notice it, but I kinda like it because I'm like, oh that's when I was breastfeeding her. I just don't care. Yeah I've got one boob like so much bigger than the other because where they love the one boob. Yeah it's quite natural that isn't it anyway. One boob big more than the other. Yeah. And again I think that's like, I breastfed my kids and this is my one boob bigger than

the other now and it's quite drastic. The hair thing upset me a bit because I've got like postpartum hair so I've still got like stumpy bits of hair, so that was kind of annoying because I do, I'm into my hair but... I don't think you realise how much your body does change after having a baby. Like my ribs are wider, my hips are wider but I quite like it and I think I'm lucky because I've got like skinny legs you know because oh no I didn't like, no no no this was awful. After I had Bonnie I hemorrhaged and then they pumped me full of liquid, right?

And then I got cankles and I actually wanted to throw up. I couldn't look at my ankles and it really traumatized me. How long did that take to go down? Not long, but I actually felt sick at myself. It really affected me because I'm just used to having puny little legs and I just thought, and I remember Gary saying, why are you so bothered about your can cankles you've literally got like

stitches up your arsehole do you know what I mean? I was like I know but I'm on painkillers I can't feel it. So lovely, he's like you're sitting on a cushion and you're worried about your cankles. I thought you like second degree or whatever said stitches and stuff but I don't know maybe I've got body dysmorphia maybe I think my body's better than it actually is, like the opposite way. So I remember putting my head between my legs. No, you look incredible. When you walked in today I was like, wow, I wish I looked like that. Shut up!

Do you work out a lot? No, I don't work out at all because I don't have time. And I joined the David Lloyd because they had a creche and the creche is only open when I'm at the radio in the morning so I'm raging because I can't go and put her, because am I going to work out I have to ask someone specifically to look after her so I can go to the gym for an hour and then I've got to pack a bag I can't be honest like honestly it's just more hassle than it's worth. So you don't work out? Do you eat well? No. What's the secret? I don't know I just think every load of tea. She's got a cup of tea when she walks right in. No.

I think you've just got like that natural weight that you're supposed to be at if you don't overly work out or watch what you eat. It depends what you want. If you want to be thinner than your natural weight, then you're going to have to work hard for it and change something. I've been the same weight since I was probably about 13. I don't know. Like I like my food, but I have no consistency. Like I do just, I'll just be like oh I really want pasta and then I'll eat like a massive pot of pasta and then I'll just have chocolate and then I won't eat the rest of the day. I wouldn't say I was healthy, like I should really. And then Bonnie, god I make her like amazing food and she loves like broccoli

and watermelon so she's sitting eating that and I'm like having rubbish because I'm too scared I don't want to eat her lovely foods because I want her to get the goodness and then you're just sat there like a skeleton like needing some nutrients in my life it's shocking isn't it but again I'm gonna try and improve that because it helps with energy and you know I need to look after myself so I can look after her. You do as well you're waking up early for that radio show maybe that's what I need in my life a radio show. No because I have like twirls in the morning sometimes. What for breakfast? Yeah. Twirl for breakfast. Twirl and a banana.

Say twirl. Twirl. Twirl. Twirl. You have to roll your R's. Get old, get old. Do you find it hard parenting and being on a social media platform? Do you feel like you're judged? Not really. I don't really care that much. I feel like I've enjoyed social media more since I've become a mum because I've got a lot of mums that follow me and it does feel like this really cool army. I actually love it and it's made me like just, I don't know, I just feel more connected. I think people get me more and it's like a whole other world.

It's like a little cult that I never knew existed. It's like a code. There's just so much you can talk about when you come into that world of parenting and I think because I've done it myself luckily I actually do feel like I've had a little bit of respect and I like that and I can connect with other mums that have done it themselves as well and I just feel like my Instagram is like a really positive place now and I think that happens when people you almost like find your niche. I remember coming to Love Island my age it like, you need to find your niche. And I was like, well, I don't know what that is. Like I like clothes, I like makeup, I like loads of different things.

I don't know what my niche is, but I just feel like me now that I'm a mum. And I think that resonates. If you're comfortable showcasing something and people like seeing it, it just kind of works. Does that make sense? No, it makes loads of sense. So I do a lot of people. I feel like you found your place when you became a mum. Yeah, I don't know, like, God, half the population's a mum. It's not nothing special that I'm doing. But I just, I don't know, I love, I just love all aspects of it. It's like ever changing. There's so much to learn. I feel like they should teach you stuff in school

because the amount of like kind of studying that I did when I was pregnant, like reading books, I had no idea. There's so many things. There's so many people don't study and then like even to the labor and we've had so many stories on here and I'm like, but did you not research it?

Like, I want people to go, oh, I like how painful it was. I'm like, yeah, you not research it? Like when people go, oh, I like how painful it was. I'm like, yeah, you've pushed a child out of your vagina. Like, it's gonna be painful. Yeah, I think like me and my sister are polar opposites. So she didn't go to any classes. She didn't research anything. She's so laid back that that works for her. But then I feel like really bad saying this,

but sometimes like if her son has a tantrum, I feel like I'm judging her now. But I'll be like, sorry. She's being a judgy sister. Tell me, tell me. Again, it's probably because I'm lucky with Bonnie, because she is quite good, but touchwood because I say that and then she does something crazy. But I do think it can be like anticipating their needs before something gets bad. So it is exhausting because there's so many things, but I try and I don't want Bonnie's get to the point of like crying. So I literally just plan everything out and give her everything she needs to hopefully stop her getting to a point of like needing something because I can't cope with her crying.

Can you not? No, like if I'm out and about, like that's why sometimes I just don't go out because I don't want to deal with, I don't want to interrupt her nap because she's happy. Oh, you're a home napper, are you? Now I am, not when she was a baby, but she'll do, she could do it three and a half hours easy in the middle of the day,

which means I have to stay in the house and tiptoe around, but she's happy and it makes my life easier when she wakes up. So if I was to go out because I want to go shopping or go and do something I don't want to deal with her being crabby and upset because she's tired. So it's kind of like I am doing it for her but I'm doing it for me as well so that just works for me at the minute and also I guess in a way I've got the luxury of not having somebody else tell me we're not doing that, you know, in a way, you know, now for you as well,

you are making the decisions, even though it is hard to make the decisions by yourself for their well-being and their future. When I do talk to friends and they're having arguments with their partners, yeah, it's a whole other thing. And Tom would have been so vocal. I think me and you have had so many arguments. Yeah, so added pressure on your relationship that I kind of, I guess I don't have. And that's what we get a lot from our listeners. They're like about their... Who are with the dad.

Who are with the dad and they'll say like, I don't feel like I'm getting my time with, with going out and going to, you know, socialize with friends and do stuff. But also the added of they've got that opinion on how you should bring the baby up and then you've got your opinion. I don't know what I would do to be honest now. Like if I did meet someone and have another baby it would be so, so different. Sorry, what is this? Are you having an opinion on this? Cause I've done this all myself.

I just, you know, I think I've done well. And I don't know if I, I guess I'm quite opinionated. Yeah. Maybe a bit of a control freak, probably. I do like things a certain way. But have you always been like that or has this made you become that? Because I didn't realize I was a control freak. I don't think I realized until right now. And I've just it to you because I don't like this is therapy. I don't

yeah I never think I do anything wrong I think let's be honest but I just think I'm like you know I do think about things I try and make the best choices like I don't do things on a whim and and when it's like you see the product of your child being amazing, then I think, oh, I must be doing it right. So yeah, I don't know what I would do in a situation. And I do want to have a family. I want that, you know, whatever normal is these days, family. So there will definitely be other, other challenges. So it's not all bad being a single mom in a sense. No, good, good point. I'll have to have you back on when you have another baby with someone else. Oh my goodness. How's it going for you? I'll be mourning about the dad like, God, he doesn't know anything. He's doing it wrong. Oh my

goodness. He's putting his opinion in. I'm like, no. That's not how you do a bottle. What are you talking about? So obviously where Bonnie is only 13 months. 13 months. Have you had any embarrassing stories? Embarrassing? Has she done anything that's embarrassing, embarrassed you? I'm trying to think, because I feel like she's not, I think when she can talk, she probably will, because goodness knows the things that I say.

Because my mum told me a story the other day about, at Christmas, we were in a supermarket later, I was really young, maybe five or something, bumped into my auntie and my auntie says, oh, can't wait to come round tomorrow, you know, for Christmas. And I said, my mom says that she can't be bothered having you all round tomorrow.

And then my mom's like elbowed me, like what? Cause you know, kids tell the truth. So I'm sure Bonnie's gonna do something, you know, like that, but yeah, she doesn't really, I mean, she's done a few poonamies in some very exciting places like the airport. But I mean, people just look on and think people are actually very helpful when you're traveling. I've been there. I've been there and I've had the poo and I know your pain. Or I always, there's a funny thing that I was a Q and A I did when I was pregnant and

someone said, there's a lot that can go on in toilets when you've got toddlers that like open the door when you're on the loo and stuff Mine do it all the time to me. Do they? I'm like I'm on the toilet. Can we just wait until mommy's finished? I'm just actually sat there and waited for not sat there stood there waiting for you to do a poo or whatever If I'm doing a poo now, just shut the door. All in like the cubicle in a public toilet. So I've got all that too. And then like that day, you're around, shut the door. All in like the cubicle in a public toilet. So I've got all that to- And then like that day, you hear around, shut the door at you.

I don't really care that much. I'm quite an open person, I'm like, oh, whatever. And other moms in there, they live experiences as well. So I think I've got all that to come. Yeah, again, I think being embarrassed just shows that you maybe care too much about what people think. And I definitely think becoming a mom,

you just lose all that sense of embarrassment in a sense and it's just... Do you know where I think that comes from though? When you've actually given birth, I think everything goes out the window. Did you poo? No, I don't think I did. I didn't poo either. But the thing is with Bodie, Tom was sort of in his own world at that point. He'd been diagnosed.

So he didn't really come over and be like, oh, you just did a poo. He was just more in his own world. And I went to a different place where I don't actually know if I pooed or not. Okay. But with Araya, I didn't. I didn't poo. You didn't. Oh yeah. Did you poo? No, no. And I had this whole, you know. Was you panicking about pooing? I don't want to poop but I lost before I was thinking about it

But at the time I knew that I didn't need to so I was kind of I Did have an idea of what the whole birth was gonna be like, but then I knew I was very relaxed Actually, that's probably when I first let go when I realized before When everyone's asked me about my birth plan. I was like guys. I'm just gonna go to the hospital and have a baby I've done the birth and course I know my preferences but I know for a fact it's not gonna happen because that's all you hear about I want to give birth in a pool I want no medication and of course that didn't happen I ended up getting induced I end up taking the epidural at nine centimeters I mean don't be a hero get the epidural at like one centimeter

if you can best thing I've ever had in my life really and I've never taken drugs in my life and I would have an epidural every single day because it was delicious To be fair with Aurelia now we're talking about the poo Went to the toilet and I projectile vomited all over the toilet Like I just- Before you were in labor? Before I was it well I just got into labor and obviously my body needed to get rid of everything. So I've sicked everywhere and I went to Tom,

you need to go and sort that out. And then I had really bad diarrhea too. Now you've brought it all back to me. Oh, get it out. And I was like, again, it just goes out. My body just needed to get everything out. It was like, right, now you've got this girl. Oh.

Right, so we've got some listener questions. Oh. Have you experienced mungill? And if so, how do you cope with it? Right, so we've got some listener questions. Oh! Have you experienced mum guilt and if so, how do you cope with it? I mean, it's just the working thing and time. I just want to be there all the time because I feel like she's only got me. So yeah, I do have mum guilt in the morning when I'm on the radio. I've started actually FaceTiming her during the songs so that I can see her face in the morning.

So I do that with my mum like a couple of times. I only started this last week. So I thought, why not? The songs are, I mean, we're very busy on the show, but I just think, no, I need to see her face. So she's used to seeing me on FaceTime now and she lights up and she gets excited when I come home. So that makes me feel a bit better.

But yeah, I feel it all the time when I wanna go and do something myself. But then I realize she's happy with other people. You know, I'm not that amazing. Like she has fun with my mum and it's good for her. So just try and swallow it and put it out of my mind. Like, I mean. I do think it's good for children

to have the input of other people as well around them. Yeah. Like you're saying your mom, your dad. Like I really trust my mom. It's not really my dad, my dad's wife kind of does it all. Kim, she's really good. But I actually have started thinking about putting her into nursery because I just,

I love seeing her with other kids. I think it would be really good for her. And I just need a bit of time to myself to do stuff. I think it's the best thing you can do. Just even like one day a week in the afternoon when I come back, even though I do wanna spend it with her, I'd love to go and get my nails done or like go and take something back to Zara

or go to the gym or go to meet my friend for a coffee. It is, I think when you are on your own and you're doing it on your own, it is that time, like the nursery is- Have a bath, be nice. By myself. Yeah, you wait, you wait until they, but I put mine to bed and then I'll run the bath for me.

So they've had their bath, they're doing bedtime. I get in with her, cause I'm just like- One will sneak out and be like, so mum, and then the next one will come in, like the other night was in the bath chilling and Aurelia comes in and is like, I need a poo. I'm like, can I just have a peaceful bath? See I've not yet experienced that getting up out of bed and not wanting to go to bed. It's funny

I see a lot of that online like little videos. With Aurelia. It's not like just the actual poo She had then has verbal diarrhea. Yeah, so then she's like telling me she's gonna have six kids and what she's gonna call her kids I'm like you're five years old. Like can we talk about this another time that makes me excited? Like that's so cool that you have these little chance and then Bodie asked if he could be Aurelia's boyfriend and I was like, I know you love your sister, but you can't be her Supposed to explain Five year olds? Yeah, and I was like, no, Aurelia does love you, but you will be the uncle of the six

children that she's going to have. One is going to be called Rosie. This is so funny. Oh, I really want Bonnie to have a sibling though. So they can be boyfriend and girlfriend. Lovely. But mine do actually love each other. That is what's so lovely. Maybe it's can be boyfriend and girlfriend. Lovely. But mine do actually love each other. That is what's so lovely. Maybe it's the closeness and age. Yeah. And they

are best friends and he's so easy going. So he just does whatever Aurelia tells him to. She's the boss. That's cool. He's like, okay. Yeah. Okay. So this is from Andrea. What's one piece of advice you wish someone had told you before you became a parent? I mean, I do think like the mum gut thing is a real thing. I do think you just kind of know what they need. And it's just like having confidence. Because when they're really small, you don't get that feedback from them. Like you don't, well, I didn't feel like feel like I was like do you love me? I love you

Like do you need me? Do you mean and I think like you just know? Like now because she did you want to yes, yes, maybe I need you But like when they look at you we can tell sometimes by a look but now that she's starting side like hugging me and Wanting to run to me. I'm like, ah, you do like me, that's good, cause I like you. But I think the gut thing, you do know what they need. And I've always been confident with it, but I would imagine some people,

maybe if they have to make a decision or, you know, the partner's there, or maybe they've got a lot of noise from other family members or friends telling them what to do or what choices to make out of their whole lives as a mum or a dad, I think you do know what's best for your kid so just be like confident in your decision, yeah your decision-making. I remember one time I felt like Bonnie was gonna wake up and she did like one second later and then I decided that I think she woke up because she had a left itchy foot, right? So I just went in and I scratched her foot

and then she went back to sleep and I felt like we were in sync. I mean, that's obviously probably not true, but that in my head, it like worked. I don't know, I feel like you're like, is it telepathic? Yeah. You're just so in sync with your child. Like they've been in your body, you've grown them.

Of course you know what they need. So I just think going with your gut is like a powerful thing. And they can sense that confidence. When I used to, I freaked out once when I couldn't get her to sleep and I felt like she could feel it in my heart, that like nervousness, that I wasn't in control. like your child needs to feel like, I think that you're in control and you've got this and then they feel safe. And that does come with that confidence and that decision making.

So if you've got a gut feeling about anything, if you think they've got a left itchy foot, you go in and you itch that foot. You do that. You do that. But they definitely can pick up on energies without a doubt. My kids, you know, you say- If you're flaking and you're like, God, I don't know what to do, I'm stressed. They can pick up on it. a doubt. My kids, you know, you say, if you're flaking, you're like, God, I don't know what to do. I'm stressed. They can pick up on it. And also they can

pick up on the weakness. They know the weak people in the family. Mine will go to the weak ones, which is, what can I think little shits? Yeah. Granddad is the weak link. They know that granddad is the weak link. If they want anything, it's like, mommy's not there. And they've got granddad can i yeah manipulative little shits there you go and then he'll be like well what's your mom said and then but i know yeah and then he'll go and get it anyway because he is the weak link and we all know that he's the weak link and i even used him as the weak yeah yeah that's funny hopefully he doesn't listen to this right you have been amazing, amazing guest and I've loved having you on yet.

Thank you so much. Your advice has been amazing. Thank you. I've had the best time. I could just sit here all day. I know and talk. You're absolutely fantastic. I've loved it.

Thank you. Thank you so much. Well, that's it for today's episode of Mum's The Word. We've had an absolute blast chatting with the one and only Laura Anderson. A huge thank you to Laura for being so open with us. And of course, to our listeners, thank you for tuning in. We hope you enjoyed the chat as much as we did. And if you've got any funny parenting stories or questions for our next guest, be sure to

send them in. We love hearing from you whether it's your biggest mum win or an epic foul we want to hear it all make sure to subscribe leave us a review follow us on the socials at mums the word underscore pod and check out our brand new YouTube channel just search mums the word so I've been Kelsey Parker and we'll be back with another episode, same time, same place, next week. ACAS powers the world's best podcasts. Here's a show that we recommend. After dark. And with that, the curtain falls on the story of Anne Boleyn.

The Red Room. Exploring Irish ghost stories and haunted Irish history. Listen to these Acast shows wherever you get your podcasts. Acast helps creators launch, grow and monetize their podcasts everywhere. Acast.com