Mum's The Word! The Parenting Podcast - ROSSI D WOODS & LUCY THE FEMALE WIFE: Everyone Thought I Was Gay From Social Media

Episode Date: January 11, 2026

This week on Mum’s The Word, Kelsey Parker is joined in the studio by social media stars Rossi D Woods and Lucy (The Female Wife) for a hilarious chat about parenting, pre-fame life, and everything in between.The trio dive into why everyone once assumed Ross was gay thanks to his viral videos, and how social media fame has shaped their family life.Ross and Lucy also share what they were doing before the internet came calling, from hairdressing and cabin crew life to West End stages.They chat about raising kids who are perhaps a little too comfortable at film premieres, compare notes on bedtime routines (or the lack of them) in what they dub the “bedtime Olympics,” and bond over one universal parenting truth: we all hate homework.This episode is proof that parenting is messy, no matter how glossy it looks online.A Create Podcast Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Welcome back to Mums the Word. I'm your host, Kelsey Parker. And today I'm joined by the amazing Rossi Woods and Lucy, the female wife. Rossi and Lucy both host the brilliant podcast. Thereof said it. So grab a cupper, get comfy, and let's jump into a brand new episode of Mums the Word. Welcome to the Pud. How are you doing?

Yeah, thanks. Thanks for having us. It's a pleasure. You're excited to be on here. I know you lot. I've got your own pod, your little masters of podcasting. I'm really excited.

You've never been a guest on a podcast. I've never been a guest on a podcast. Oh. Just to host. So you're a virgin. You like virgins on here. Poping her cherry. Yeah.

Yeah, I'm really excited. I love it. So tell us a bit about yourselves. For those that don't know. You go first. Me? Yeah. Oh, don't.

Well, you're the name, darling. I don't do anything. I'm retired. I'm just, what they call me is a social media slag. Oh, right, yeah, love it. Also, I'm a dad. Yeah. So I do that's my, my, my, social media slag and a dad. That's my full-time job, isn't it?

Yeah. So I take Little Woods to school and all that. Come home, cry a bit because I miss him. But no, I just started doing stupid videos online and then went a bit crazy. And when was this? How long ago? Lockdown. Lockdown.

So many people blew up in lockdown, didn't that? Yeah, I was secretly. It was like the time. It was the time and I was secretly filming myself on TikTok. And she come in. Oh, my God. Well, she just came and said, what the fuck are you doing? You're not going on TikTok.

And I went, oh my God, no, I'm not. But it was. Why did you feel like that? Oh, it was just eggy. It was the era of the TikTok where everyone was like doing the samples of stuff. Did you do that last? Yeah, we did. I did that one.

I was just pregnant with Woody, just like literally a month or two, like, pregnant with Woody. And we all did it in my sister. his garden, didn't we that? I remember that. But there wasn't social distancing, guys, really responsive. Oh yeah, no, we had like, two meters. I'm joking. No, no. We live next door to my sister.

This was so funny, yeah. They live next door. We have a gate between our gardens, so we're literally dead next door. Oh my God, that would be my dream to live like that of my mom. When I was younger, my mum and we lived down the same road as my nan and I loved it and my aunt. Yeah, we all live. My dad lives five doors down. My sister lives dead next door to me.

We've even got a little doggy panel where our dogs go in and out. Dogs running in... How do you feel about that? Do you like a sister? I love her sister. Oh my God, they're like best mates. To be honest,

I would prefer to marry her, do you know what I mean? As in my sister. I think I've got the wrong sister because her sense of humour's a bit better and Lucy can't stand me. Do you know what I mean? Because we've been married for 15 years.

Women, yeah, together way too long. She's been too long. You just started doing the TikToks? I done the TikToks. And then Channel 4 saw me doing stuff. You didn't do Darren. I'm crushed your phone bit.

I did. Yes, he did. She follows me, by the way, the other day. Who? Drop the mic. The GC follows me. I know you to say the name. Honestly, I haven't, I was too scared.

I haven't even DM'd yet. I'm too scared. I don't know what to say to. Just DMM, right. All right, guys. All right, guys is me. You know the reason I blew up on TikTok. She was basically.

Everyone was doing the same TikToks. Yeah, they were, yeah. We were. Now, when I look back on my old, it's cringy. Oh, my God, it's awful because then you're just, you're just mouthing people's things, aren't you? You were just doing like skits, but mouthed in, oh, God. And then I was doing rants in my car.

About what was doing? Every day. life, everyday life stuff like Tesco's, anything. Anything that pops up. Anything that pops up I was getting in and ranting about. And then basically I was really camped. Oh, I do it in a really camp because I was cabin crew and my mom's a hairdresser and I'm a hairdresser. All the heterosexual jobs.

So I like, I was just and everyone thought it was gay. And then I went on to this Channel 4 show called Rise and 4. It wasn't that good. And I came out straight on that. Why wasn't it that good? Well, no, it was good. I enjoyed it about. It was called Rise and Four.

for it was the people who'd done the traitors, right? Yeah. And Greg James was the host and I thought, you said you're going to have to do it. Yeah, absolutely. I think take every opportunity. Yeah. I never know where it's going to take you. Littlewoods was one and a half at the time and I didn't want to leave him. You know, when you get that, because I wasn't allowed to talk to him for three weeks. The whole family, it was like you're cut off from the world. And we genuinely did not talk to him. It was weird. I was like, you heard a lovely bro. My ears didn't bleed so much. Can you take him for another three weeks? Honestly.

I know. I'm ready for him to bug her off. so much when I wasn't there. We went on holiday and everything. So I'd done that. You did. They went on holiday and everything. So I came out of that but I had to come out on that astray. And then I admitted I had a kid and a wife. And that's where you come in.

But what do you mean? I don't understand. Because I thought you were gay. Well, everyone was thought I was gay from social media because I never said I had a wife or a kid. I was just doing my videos. And you do have this little bit of an alter ego, don't you? Yeah. I get camper as I do videos.

The more he gets excited, the more he's calm. And he's like the actor. like he plays up to it Oh god, yeah he's like yeah I'm gonna just be really really happy of course

I can sense you already yeah he is but you know who you're the real actor though I am the real actor you were just talking about this before Starlight Express over there

Yes darling She was in the West End She never likes to go back on her Pick yourself up Big yourself up West End Because also they're not on social media people be like Oh you're not even worthy for what that's what I get

I'm not even worthy for what you've got I'm like honey I went to a Tanya a Conti Oh, is that what you mean? I didn't get around for asking you. Talia Conti, darling. I have friends at Italia Conti. They probably know each other.

Or you probably know them. Oh, I bet you've got loads of mutual friends. Yeah, probably. Yeah. Listen, I'll go. I'll have a cup of tea. We'll have a chat on Mike. But yeah, no, you had to out me because I remember we were on holiday once and everyone was like, oh, come on, let's see.

Because he called me the female wife because everyone was like, um, no, we got trolls. We got trolls. We got, hang on a minute. You're telling me that you've got a female wife. Well, that was it. It stuck. So now my handle is. is, are you sure she hasn't got a penis, right?

And I went, I think so. Is she a female? Yeah, I'm pretty sure, yeah. Where did the baggie come from? Don't ask. I wasn't there. Immaculate conception. And then, yeah, you basically jumped on the scene.

You outed me on holiday. We did like a picture and I can't tell. I was so nervous considering like what I used to do as a. Just because I know how much he gets trolled. I know how much. What did the trial say to you? Oh my gosh. What don't they?

loads. But they're just violent. And how do you feel about that? I'm fine with it because it makes me money. Because if they're really horrible, like, someone called me a twat the other day on there. So I just clapped back at them. I put their little name up and I'll go, I think you mean C-U-N-T. That's what I'm not going to say that on here. That's a bit. That's a bit too far. And then a lot of people, mum's the word. A lot of people then comment and then go, oh my God. And it just blows up. I just don't get people online though. It does just upset me. That's all they do. You don't like something. Just scroll on.

I know. But I don't. Because I think obviously they've got something going on with their life that means that they, it makes them feel better to be horrible to people. Yeah. But when everyone got outed on Tattle. Yeah. But a lot of these people, me and Georgia spoke about it, are like nurses.

Yeah. And they are. Oh, they are ahead of play groups. One of, yeah, one of the ones that we had. Teachers. Not long after I'd been outed as your wife. And I'd sort of started going on social, social media. one of the things, it was like a picture

and we sort of looked back, people, our fans had looked back over this person and she was a mental health nurse and she was possibly she was possibly one of the worst trolls that we had back then. Do you know what? I don't get it.

This is how I deal with it though. If it was my best mate saying, do you know that video you just don't do that mate, I would listen to them or if it's a family member if someone I don't know, I go, you don't know me anyway, so I haven't even, do you know what I mean? So that's how I kind of...

But talking about like family members, how were your family when you started doing videos? Because you know like some family and friends? Yeah. Oh. They think like mine, mine aren't really like that because obviously I met Tom and we've all been in the industry. You've been in the industry.

It's very different. I've been a performer since I was like four, but it's so different. Like, even though now I've got a manager, my manager is different to what my performing arts manager was. Like, it's just a completely different world. Yeah. So, like, mine was so on board with, like, my theatre career, but social media career.

Your dad doesn't, your dad, her dad's old school. He's a boomer. He's, like, he doesn't. He doesn't, he doesn't. He doesn't, he doesn't, he doesn't, he doesn't, he doesn't, he doesn't, he doesn't, yeah, my dad's like, what do you mean you're making, you've made money by doing a video or an advert or, like, he really doesn't, we've had to literally sit my dad down and properly describe. Because this is what it is. Because he kind of looks at Ross now and he's like, hang on a minute.

you've given up your job and you are at home. What was your job before? How long have you got? I've been through them. Because I've had to try and find somewhere that suits me because I'm riddled with ADHD and I can't, do you know what I mean? Undiagnosed.

Oh, I'd love if I was on a flight and you were right. Oh, do you know what? I was saying the other day it was my favourite job. And I, we used to get up to some naughty stuff. So I'd done that for seven years and then gave that up. And I met you whilst I was cabin crew and you were in Greece. No, Starlight Express. So then I worked in Selfridges on the perfumes.

We actually went to school together. TBC? Did you do TVC? No, no, I'm classic Kelsey. This is a classic. Colmings, darling. My mum's, I think needed a job where I said. Everyone was doing TBC, so I was like, yeah, I'm going to do TBC.

I trained up to do the TBC, got the outfit, went to Harrods, got all the Harrods training, then went to my mum. I don't think I really want to do that. Oh, okay. What job are you going to do? I think I'm just going to be a dance teacher because I think that suits me about. Kelsey, that's me all over though. Not from the dance teacher.

So I, we lived in London. He would if he could. Oh my God, he would. I want to do, I said that today I would be great in Panto. Yeah, he really wants to do Panto. Yeah, he'd be great. You'd be really good in Panto. I know, wouldn't I?

But some people do just have the natural flair. Well, this is it. And I went through jobs. I mean, Cabin Crew was my favourite. My mum taught me out to be a hairdresser when I was really. He's a good hairdresser. He's a good at men's hair, really, really, really good at men's hair. Even Tom, my time.

My Tom. He wasn't trained in anything. He didn't train. Really? Yeah, it was just natural. He was natural. He picked up a guitar, thought he could do it, and then went to, he saw, oh no, he was in a take that tribute band.

Oh, my, what was it called? Who was he? No, I don't know, but he was Gary. Was he? Was he Gary? No, it wasn't. It was Markov. Oh, Marco.

Nice. But that was his first, like, taste. He'd won a karaoke competition. Right. And someone from the karaoke competition was like, oh, he's great. He's good. Do you want to come and do this, take that tribute band? He loved it.

And then from there, he was like, oh, I think I would like to do. Like, I'd like to be in a band or do something. Yeah. Went to, went to the audition and got into The Wanted. I mean, literally, but what I'm saying is he wasn't trained. Yeah, he was natural. No, well, I'm not trained in anything. But when there's something in you where you want to make people laugh or perform.

That's why I love social media because I think it's giving people that platform now. It does. But all I want to do is, that's why I went on there just to make people laugh. It was locked down. I thought it was so miserable. Everything's miserable. Yeah. Do you know what I mean?

And it's so nice that you get so many messages now from people saying, just thanking you for making them laugh. Like they're like, oh, you know, I've had a really bad week or whatever, but you just make me laugh. And it's lovely that. The only thing, like we just had our little son. He's called Woody, but we call him Littlewoods. Like the magazine, like the thing.

Yeah, like the... We just had him on our podcast and it absolutely went crazy because it was like something... I know lots of people don't like putting their kids online, but from an early age, he was... He went viral. Yeah, I think it's so hard with the kids online. It's very difficult.

Everyone's talking about AI and blah-b-b-b-b-b-and-they- They could get your kid down with your school. Good luck. They keep saying. I can't even. I remember the password that I actually said. So, good luck. Even with my partner or whatever else, I've had, at my school, you need pictures. It's like prison-brate.

Yeah, you have to write down every single person that's likely to pick your child up. Woody is an absolute natural. And he went viral, one of his videos that we are short, as you do with your podcast that you put on social media. He went viral and people have gone... He's AI. He's AI. There's no way he can talk that well. Brilliant.

And we were like, I literally, and I always am told, just don't reply to the negatives, what I had to. And I was like, are you actually kidding? Like, what is the world come to when you think a child is AI? Yeah. Like, it's mad. I do think it's time of sharing kids because I posted Aurelia. She won her school talent show. Yeah.

And someone was like, oh, screams brat to me. Oh, no. Yeah, thanks. You should have said, you're screamed arso. I out. I out of them because I was like, sorry. Come at me, but not my kids. Yeah. I know.

And I was like, absolutely. She's a little bit brighty every now and again. Of course, I'm all kids, but. Got character. So she's like, what? Am I not going to a premiere? No, you're not. We're not.

Because we're going to Lesters Square. She's like, what, am I not going to a premiere today? I will check. This is a funny story. You brought that up. We saw you. When you're in social media and you do something, you're invited to go and watch your film. We all hang out together a meet up.

Yeah. So when you go to Premiers, but this is so funny, we live in a tiny little kind of village, don't we? And then our town is a really small cinema. It's got like three screens in and they're tiny. You can hear all the different movies going on at the same time. Oh, this is the funniest bit. I go, right, do you want to go and see Zootropolis?

He goes, will there be cameras at this one? Yeah, yeah. Take in photos. Am I getting on Getty this time? I go, no, you're not. And you go, I'll put that jacket on then. It's so funny. You don't need to put the two-sharpies.

He's giving them the taste, didn't we? But that's a thing. He's natural. He is so natural. I must say, some are born to perform. Yeah. And he is, I must say, if I say, do you want to do a video and he goes, no, Daddy, I am not one of these who will go.

Oh, whatever, Ross, we know what you're like. You're doing it. You're fucking doing it. I pinch him. Pinching him. Yeah. You won't get your kin. You won't be getting your kind of Bueno tonight.

Yeah. So it is difficult, but he's got that little spark. He has. like we were talking about, like your Tom had when he's, do know what I mean? Yeah, some people just do. They've got natural, even obviously when me and Tom used to do like, okay shoots and whatever else, I think they'd come to the house,

and obviously I never did anything. So I was like doing my acting, but people didn't know who I was. It wasn't a household name. Yeah. So like I am now. Darling. But they'd turn up and they'd be like, oh, you're really confident. I'm like, yeah.

And then they'd like go into the house and there's all pictures of me like modeling pictures they'd be like oh they're so close I'm really confident but it's taken me like however many years of training blood sweat and tears

because training to be performing arts is so hard it's brutal as well isn't it and I think everything you're doing that was if you've eaten too many if you've eaten too many chocolate bars you're told about it like literally and then now it's like

you just happen to just pop online and then you just blow up and then it's just and you can't tell people how you're going to blow up yeah no you can't Something could just... Well, you hibernated yourself away for all those years, didn't you after? Yeah.

And then you just thought, no, I'm just a mum now and my mum taught her how to cut hair. Her loose had to cut hair. So she's got little hair someone and she thought, I'll just do this. I thought, no, there's more to you. You used to do all that, but you kind of got a bit... I lost my way.

I lost your confidence. Before Tom got sick, I lost my way. And I just said to him, look, I think I just want... Okay, we say, I just want to be a mum. The hardest job in the world. But, yeah. I'm doing my performing art school and everything like that, but I was like, I told my said,

I don't want to do the industry anymore. I said, I'm going to get rid of the agent. I said, I haven't got, it's not what I want it to be. Yeah. I'm going and I'm doing films and that. Okay, this is amazing. But I can't get by on the money that you're getting paid. Because UK film is so awful.

So you're getting apart and you're like, this is amazing. I've got to take time off work. And I'm getting like 150 a day, maybe, not even that. Yeah. Like, and then a lot of them, they go, well, if you do, do it for free, then you might get here and you might get that. And then you're volunteering your time and getting nothing gap. So I was like, I'm just going to get rid of the agent and I'm not going to do it anymore.

And then now look at me. What a life I've led to get to this wine. I've really been through a lot. You have. But yeah, no, I did. I completely lost my way. You did. And when you were in, you think it's great pay.

But we were paying rent in London at the time. I couldn't afford. I can't afford to live. Yeah. Like, on like Western wages. Yeah, with, with a mortgage. But you're doing what you want and you love it and you're passionate, but you're like. And now I'm like, oh, at least I've got something to tell the grandkids.

And I think about it now and I do think I feel like I was a completely different person back then to what I am now. Like my confidence is very different. And I worry about stuff and I've got the whole anxiety and all this sort of stuff. It's all very different now. But now that I'm back. Did you not have anxiety back then? No, never. I was a completely different person.

What have you got anxiety about? Oh, here we go. Healing. Deep. Healing, healing, healing. Well, obviously, like, we said off camera, like, I lost my mum very suddenly to cancer. I think maybe she was, like, losing her was probably, like, a catalyst of, like, I don't know, just some bits and bobs that had gone on and stuff.

And then I sort of had a bit of a breakdown when Woody turned one. So my mum died nearly nine years ago. So it was like a delayed reaction. So then I had, like, a bit of a breakdown. And then... They do say that about grief. And also, that, think of your hormones. Yeah, well, exactly.

Yeah. A whole month, a year after a going like, yeah, have a bit of back. So they say like 18 months or you're back to your, yeah. Yeah. No, like I had a, it was awful. I had a really, really dark time and I was, yeah, diagnosed with depression and anxiety and stuff. And then sort of, you know, therapy and medicated and all this kind of stuff. And I just think that it all just, I don't know, I just was a shadow of like my former self.

And then sort of once I got the confidence to be outed, like it took me a long time for him to even put a picture of me on social media. She didn't want it. So worried. I had no confidence. I've always worried about what people think about me and what they say about me. And I'm getting much better with that now. And now that I've got my own platform and I now do social media as my own career as well as my hair dressing. I think I have got a lot more confidence.

I think it's easier said than done. Yeah. But you've just got to block everyone else. Yeah. I worry about yourself. I think when you've been through something like you've been through as well. Yeah. Absolutely.

What's anyone going to say? Exactly. No one can say. Yeah. say anything that's going to be as painful as what you've been through. No, but I do actually really love it now. And I do feel a lot more confidence, like, confident in myself and stuff now. And, like, I have sort of found myself a bit more.

And, like, I've, like, really focused on my fitness and things. And I've got a really good community there. Well, that's great for your mental health and whatever. Yeah. Oh, I'm upset. I'm, he doesn't understand it. He doesn't get this. CrossFit. I'm obsessed with CrossFit.

But I've got, like, a community. And, like, I've made some amazing friends. Oh, my friend really wants to do high rocks and she's looking for a partner. Oh, yeah, but high rocks, that's a lot of right. running. CrossFit different. She's lifting the... Yeah, yeah, yeah. I do the list. The CrossFit is like a cult. It is. It is a cult. Kelsey, it's a cult. It is. But we've got WhatsApp groups. We will tell you it is a cult.

No, because where my performing arts school is, we had, so we shared a building. Yeah. With a CrossFit box. Yeah. Nice. And I love, I love the crossfit community. They're amazing. Yeah. And we've got, you know, some of their kids, they used to drop you to drop them to dance school while they went off. But they are best of friends. I love all the activities they get up to. We're like, we're dressing up as this. And we're. And we're lifting and I'm like yesterday i what they used to run around the the car park with like two like massive weights you lot are off your heads i'm like the mum's i'm going for a baking roll yesterday i spent my whole day at a in-house crossfit competition in like sparkly santa

outfits and leg warmers and stuff and yeah just working out all day nine to three but that's so good yeah i love that's helped me massively i was out with little woods eating a bacon roll yeah you were yeah it's so sorry yeah and i was sure and i was sure and i was just sending pictures of us eating. That's what I do. But yeah, but it's all good now. Like everything, everything's great and we've kind of just, yeah, we've got a nice little. And it's hard when you're saying to people, okay, I'm worrying about what people think

about me online, but then have people put up, why putting yourself out there? But he's like, but why not? Yeah. Because it's so hard. I think whatever you want to do is so hard and people are going to judge you. Oh, you'll never be right. You'll never be right. So you might as well just do it.

Yeah. And it is kind of when you've been a. performer. It is in you. Yeah. Like, and then obviously we've now got our podcast which we absolutely love doing and we, that's kind of the only time. It's talk to me more about the podcast. Oh, it's so fun. It's literally the only time we ever get together

isn't it? Just us like. Yeah, basically. So we don't have nights out anymore. Do you know what I mean? I fall asleep on the sofa at 7 o'clock before we just even got to bed. The podcast who's called There I've said it the podcast. It's been going, we're in our second season now. That's so good. Yeah, but we're just ongoing now. I tell you what, I didn't want to do one and then at last Christmas She said, just put it out there. So put it out there.

So we need a production team. Someone come to us. And then... We've been doing it since April. We got number one in the comedy podcast charts in the first... I think it was the first week. Yeah, it was. That's how it's done.

And then we were up there. And then, yeah, we've had some cracking guests. Roo Flangs. We just had loads. Yeah. That had just blown... I just messaged them and said, would you come on? They go, oh my God, yeah.

But it's a podcast about giving, like, telling your gripes, like, stuff that pisses you off. And then we shred it. We always say, it's a bit of therapy. What's the best one you've had on there? Best guest or best gripe? Best gripe. You've not had me on yet.

So we are waiting for our best guest. God, there's been some really good, there's been some really good gripes. I'm trying to think. Obviously you've got your standard, you know, your driving ones and your people, you know, like walking in front of you while they're texting and all this.

Quite often they'll say things like, and it just makes me laugh because it's basically everything that Ross does. when people are like, I hate posers and I'm like that I am not a poser I'm not a poser I'm just look after myself you're a poser yeah I'm a poser like we've had like hotel ones

like you know where people are moaning about like Oh the milk's in hotels you could be in like a five five star oh what was Sally Morgan's They never give you enough milk too that I don't have any shitty milk not like Are you in a five star hotel and you've got that crappy UHT stuff What was Sally Morgan's Oh Sally Morgan's was

the shower curtain one and it really, a lot of the time when it's... Oh, shower curtains. When it's one that really... Well, you should... They shouldn't have ever been invented shower curtains, isn't it? But like, why are they in a... She said she's in...

Dirty old things. Get rid of them, base. And you know they've always got people's bodily fluids all over them. Because you just can't clean them properly, can you? And she says that she will walk into a hotel room and she if she sees what, she will literally walk back to that reception. She'll be like, you need to move me. You need to move me.

You need to get the shower. A lot of the gripes are around, you know, places like hotels. And do you know, the runner at the end of a bed? Oh yeah. Do you know those runners? Never sit on them. Do you know, because there's been a naked ass on that. You know, there's been a man with his balls out sitting on there, isn't it?

Left the old, the mark of the Jedi when he's got up. So no one likes them. Yeah. But there's loads of them. We just have loads. How easy is it being for you? Just Ryanair. I got shouted out.

We got shouted out on the Ryanair. I bet you did. What did you do wrong? But when you were having your quiet girls weekend. It was really quiet. No, we were just talking and then she, but when they was obviously doing the safety thing. Oh, when they told you off of it. And she literally like shouted us.

I was like, do you actually talk to us like this? And also wake everyone else up that have got like their ear pods in and got their eyes shut and not watching you. I never listen to them because he was cabin crew. So I'm just hoping he's going to help me. If this plane goes down right, we're all dead. You all exactly. That is it. Exactly.

If you're over water and then, do you know when they're getting that little thing out there, that I'm going to save you baby. We're going to put a slide. We are going to break up onto the sea and we'll all be dead. That is your soul journey. Yeah, exactly. If we ran over and we're going down, that is your soul journey. Yeah, it is. It's been a lovely time.

And I just have my friend's hands going, this has been amazing. Oh my God, we only spoke through the safety instructions. What are we going to do? How do we get out? I just rely on you. Oh, you do? One time we were on a, can I say Jet 2 on here? Yeah, anyway, Jet 2, right?

We've got Ryan here, Jet 2. They were tidying away and I thought, do you know what I'm going to do? I went into the galley, didn't like the front, and said, can I help you clear in? Because I used to be cabin crew. It's only a couple of years ago. And they put, luckily, they knew who he was. They went, oh my God, and they gave me a neckerchief.

And I'd done it. And I come down. Honestly, Kelsey, I sat there and I looked at him and I just saw him walking towards me. And I was like, I don't care. He doesn't care. Honestly. So I come down, I was going, Littlewoods was pissing himself. Oh, no, it was awful.

He was like, hello, you finished with that, thank you. Net-tie, literally. Oh my God. No, it's awful. I was back, I was back. You're back. Yeah, can't I mean. Exxies here here.

I don't think I could do it anymore, though, because I will get the sack. I would definitely get the sack. Yeah, you would. You're busy now. You don't need to go back to you. I'm too busy. Busy sitting on his ass. I'm not.

Is he good around the house? Yes. Oh, wow. Oh, mate. Honestly, you're not cleaning. I love, I love, the hoovering, Henry is my little bait. Henrietta, isn't it? No, Hetty.

What's the pink one? Hettie. Hettie. she's the only one who looks me in the eye like... Yeah, I know, she does. She loves you. I sprinkle all the shaking back down. Yeah, he does.

Actually, a good tip for the mum's out there, right? If you don't want shaking back, because it smells like an old woman's... House, yeah. And all grandmas. Surf, you know, the powder sur. Or any powder. Sprinkle that on your carpet, then hoover that up.

Smells like... And then it makes you hoop smell nice, too. Wow, there you go. There you go. Tips for the moms. So you do work during the date. I work, yeah. I work, sort of...

Filming content and... Yeah, I do. I've got my social media, but I also have got my own hair salon, which is in, we convert in my garage. So I work like two to three days a week in my hair salon, yeah, which is cute. I do all the washing. He does literally all the clothes washing, washing, changes the beds. Changes beds. That's what I do. He's very, very good. I will give him that. I don't do the cooking, though. Lucy, I leave that to her. He does the dishwasher, does the washing up stuff. He is good.

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So when you first got together, was he as good? Did you train? No, no. How do you get this good? No, because he's... You need to be kind of half gay. Not all fully. Because I went to an all-boys school.

That's what happened, right? And I only went to an all-boys school in Enfield for about two years. So it turned me like I was nearly there. Gay without the penis bit. I was nearly there because I used to look at. It was all boys all the time and we were like in the chager. I thought, oh, that's a penis. Do I like that?

And then I thought, and I was getting all these faults and feelings, right? We were doing football. I thought, shit, he's got good ass. But do I like that? Are you actually? No, he's talking shit. I've been serious. You are not.

No, when I was younger, I thought, do I. Hang on a minute. Every day's a school day. No, but I didn't know you were questioning penises and bums. No, but when you're younger, you don't, and it was an all-boy school. We're going to be having a conversation on the train on the way. Anyway, and I was like, my mum and dad split up when I was about seven, and I was really close to my mum and nan.

So there was a big female influence on me. So I used to love doing all the housework. He just plays up to it. That's that thing. Honestly, I don't know when he's being serious half the time. I went to a normal school in Cambridge, right? Mixed school, and then I realized, yeah, girls are fit. You like girls.

Did girls like you then? Well, they did when I was cabin crew, because then. Oh, yeah, it was quite pop. What is like, you know, my business? No, well, I used to work with a lot of gay guys, of course, and a lot of women, and they thought I was gay until I said, no, I'm not. And they were like, oh, the only straight one. Here we go.

Oh, yeah. Right, let's talk about the bedtime Olympics, because that is on my script. Oh, bedtime Olympics? That's nothing sexual, by the way. Definitely nothing sexual. Oh, my God, yeah, literally. Nothing. Nothing.

Nothing. Nothing. Yeah. Bedtime Olympics. Is as in children. Trying to get your kid to sleep. When you say it's bath time and bedtime, why do they come alive? As if they've eaten 25,000 bags of yoga.

They turn into an S-A-S. Yeah? Are you tough enough trying to use every diversion tactic not to go to bed? Like last night, Woody was jumping over the back of the sofa, forward rolling off the sofa. Like when we said it was bedtime last night. What? How?

How? Why do I have to say, I do have bedtime down. Do you? go on. Go on then. Go on then. That was so nasty from Lisa. Tell me, I'm really jealous.

No, I think that I put the groundwork in. My mom is very strict. Mm-hmm. Yeah. So at the time when bedtime was, she's just like Kelsey, you stick to the routine. I wasn't the routine snap girl for when they were babies. Mm-hmm. But bedtime, I don't know.

I've just always managed to get it down. But I think as well, now they're getting older. Mindy so much. Yeah. So when it comes to bedtime, they're not. actually knackered. But he goes the opposite way. He comes alive, but he hikes up.

No, but he's only just happened. Have you met, I don't know, have you met his dad? Have you met his dad? I don't know who's Woody's dad is. I know. I think you're part of. No, I'm joking. If you are why.

But if you've got ADHD, which I don't know if you have, but. I, I know. They honestly, they bounce off each other. Yeah, they come alive. Yeah, and they beat the shit out of each other. I am really terrible about sleeping. I can't, I'll go to bed. If we go to bed early, it's like 10, I'm up till 1.

I'm off. I cannot switch off. I'm out like a light. I have a pre nap on the sofa and then go to bed. Which is still sleep all night. Woods went through a stage of like he was great at sleeping when he was a really little baby. He's still great at sleeping. He just doesn't want to go to bed.

No, he does. But he just, when you say to him it's bedtime, he just comes alive. Oh, can I have 10 more minutes on this off? Yeah. Oh, I want mummy to bath me. And then she'll go in and go, no, I want daddy to bath me. Yeah. me and they go, right, don't start this.

Because it's like tight. And then I think, oh my God, I know what he's doing. No, I want you to get me dressed. I want mummy to. And then we're up and down the stairs like that. At the moment, he's not so bad with that. Because all I need to say is two words. And those two words are good list because of Christmas.

And he literally last night, he started to go off. And he just went, good list, mummy. And I went, exactly. And also, Tony's, Tony's box. Tony's Bob. We just got one. We just got one. And oh, my God.

I love it more than him. I fall asleep to it. We have had the Tony's box for a long time. We've only just got it. And mine are quite like, they listen to the same one. I think it actually just calms them. Yeah. It's Spider-Man.

She's got Ghost Spider. He's got Spider-Man. And then it literally just, they both calm down and they both just go to sleep. Woody's favorite one is the dinosaurs that pooped by... The Mcfly Boys. Yeah, he loves that one. Them ones. Those McFly Boys.

He loves it. Tom from McFly does the voice. No, Tom and Dougie. I think they're great. Oh, they're great. So when he's in bed... Because we still do give him one milk, didn't we? He has a little milk before.

He's five now, but he loves it. He's a really crap eater. Like, he doesn't eat a lot. So just as long as we know he's getting a bit of protein, a bit of fat in there. And then when we are in the bedroom... I read one story, don't I? And then he goes, okay, Mommy, I'll come and pick a Tony. He puts a Tony on.

And then sometimes he now, because we've always been the parents that stay in his room until he's asleep, which has annoyed me that we've done that because then we just got into a hole and you can't get out. Do you still do that now? Well, now that he has a Tony, he listens to about five minutes and then he sits up and he goes, Mommy, I'd like to be alone now. You can go now. He does.

He literally goes, I'd like to be alone now. That's how he says it. And I'm like, I'm gone to see you. And he just, I think he feels a bit more grown up now because he's on his own. He's got his tone. It is. But the bedtime Olympic thing as well was like just before bed, when you get him to, he used to try and show us everything is in gymnastics, didn't he?

He actually goes to gymnastics. He's everything in the business. But always naked. When he's had a bath. So he's like... That's what Ray is us. Oh, actually both from Dut to be fair. Yeah.

They come into the bedroom and they start doing it. I'm like, right, come on, you're going to bed now. Yeah. And it's like, I just need to do my show for you, mummy. And so it has to be like the jump in the air, the roly-poly, the spinning around. And yeah, and all naked. And then, yeah, then eventually he gets back. I do think this is what me and the girls are saying as well when we just went away.

That when you start something, they just get so used to it. It's breaking that habit. It's like a routine, yeah. Yeah. Because Bodie was kept coming into my bed, right? You're going back to your own bed. You're going back to your own bed. Like, you know, Borrelia, I've never had a problem.

She's always just wanted to sleep in her own bed. She's not being bothered. But I do think boys. Yeah. Well, Woody went through a phase of coming into my bed for a cuddle or because he still wears nappies at night time. So he was like, if he has a wet nappy, he hates it and it will wake him up. And then he'll come in. But he's so good now.

He'll go, well, can I just have a cuddle? Yeah, of course. And we have like two minutes. And all all got to say to him is, right, go back to bed now. And he goes, okay. And mummy jumps. And he is a good boy. It's just, hence why we've stopped at one.

Because he is literally just so good that we were like, if we ever have another one, they'll be the wrong good devil. So, yeah, one, one and done. Yeah. If I had Bodie first, he is the golden one that he doesn't really, he tests me in certain ways. Yeah. They have to. They have to.

Yeah. That's the whole point. But he is like dream boy. Yeah. Whereas Arraylia really keeps me on my toes. girl. Yeah. We were girls.

She doesn't. She doesn't think things through. She just does. There's no thought. Whereas Bodey is doing a health and safety check. He's doing a risk assessment. Oh, bless him. We were saying at the weekend, like, I never had a stair gate for him because he.

Did you not? No, because he is, even now, he is risk assessment. He is not doing anything dangerous. Good man. But to be honest, we've never, and I always say this, we've never had to child-proof our home. No. My home is how I want my home. I've got stuff.

I've got things that I like. And do you know, we've never had to cover our fire, have we? We've got like a wood burner and stuff. He's great. I always have two. The trolls are going to be out. I have two words though. My two words for words and it's so funny.

I'll go, Daddy's two words. No, please don't say them because it's tough shit. I know you shouldn't swear in front of kids, but he knows, I swear in my videos and he knows a bad word as well. He will not swear. They all know the bad. We've had to go down that room. Is he a reception? now. He's in reception. So I go like this. He goes, oh, I want that. And I go,

Daddy's two words. And he goes, please don't say it. And I go, tough shit. And he goes, but we've gone down that route of because Ross, a lot of Ross's social media is very, very sweary. And you know what it's like when you're at home and sometimes the words come out and you don't think about it and your kids listening. We've just gone down the route of, okay, well, if we swear in front of him, we swear in front of him. But we've just told him, they're not right. They're bad words. And he so knows a bad word now. And if he ever wants to tell us something that his friend might have said in the playground, he goes, Mommy, I can't say it.

And I'm like, you can just tell Mommy what they said. And I have to literally draw it out of them. Like you saying, they're hearing it in the playground. Exactly. They're going in and they're telling each other the words. Come on, we remember when we were at school. I know. Tell you the worst word you know.

Yeah, say the worst word you can say. I remember growing up, like, and my mum and dad, obviously they split up for a reason. They used to swear, man. Yeah. Like swear. And my nan was right. My nan was right. And she was like, oh, you fuck.

And she used to do it. And I used to go out It's a way of life Yeah Cockney's definitely Yeah Yeah It's just there in it

Every other Oh it is It was with my nan And then you grow up learning Not to swear But yeah He doesn't swear He's good

No well Not that we know of There's probably a lot Going on in the playground Even if he gets angry Does it like slip out No never No flip

He loves Flip at the moment Because he's on watching This YouTube thing at the moment And they're American And they go flip And they go Oh flip me I know when he keeps going

Oh yeah You will do Fricking Oh yeah freaking I love it. I love it. I'm like, sorry, what? Fricking that.

I love it. What word was you going to say if she gets angry? You, freaking idiot. I even told Woody, though. I love that. It's cute in a way. Do you remember around the nativity? Because he's just done his first nativity.

And I remember him coming home when they'd first started doing it. And he looked at me and he went, Mommy, they say something really bad in the nativity. And I was thinking, what is it? And he went, because I'd said to him, because I'd said to him, because he was like, Mommy, like he said, oh, gee. Jesus or Jesus Christ was something, you know, and I got, oh, darling, that's not the nicest thing to say. And because I'd made it out like a swear word, when he went to his activity, he was like, they're Jesus.

And I went, oh, okay, how do I get around this? That's why it is bad. So I had to explain to him. Jesus is great. Yeah. But when you say as a, yeah. Do you know what? Our language.

English language is. He's learning all these phonetics. Phonics. Phonics. I don't even know. He can't come to me, I'm useless. He comes to me and he says, what's that? And I go, I don't know.

That's what me and George talk about all the time on here is the homework. And when they come back with homework, you're like, this is year three maths and it's really, really hard. He's five and comes home with stuff. Well, he has to read and things like that, yeah, which is just... Does he want to do it? Because Bodie's just so excited. He likes, if I say to him, let's do some reading, he will like it. But he plays up, I think, to me, because I then say to his teacher, he's not blending.

Why is he not sound blending? She was like, he blends perfectly at school. And I'm like, little bugger. I know. But then there's me, you know. I think when you're a performing arts person, there's a little bit of a pushy pair. And then I'm like,

it just gets harder. It just gets harder. I know. Well, when I was a kid, my mum used to do all my art homework for me. And then when I used to go into the GCSE art or shit. I'm going to go, I'm going to, you've just done a bleeding Mona Lisa there. He's trying the Mona Lisa.

You're coming in and then you want your crayons. Yeah, you're like, no, but this is abstract. This is abstract. This is abstract. This is abstract. Bansy. That's wanksy, not bansy, mate. Honestly, I've never, I hated homework.

Yeah. Yeah. But Woody's going to be a YouTuber anyway, isn't he? So does it matter? Probably. I'm joking. I am joking. No, but obviously will be.

On a bit on that page, because I think when they should come home, they need to be having fun and doing whatever. This is it. You know. They've been learning all day, haven't they? It's a long day. For the kids that go, yep, I really want to do it. And that is what they want to do.

Long day from. My kids don't stop. From the moment I pick them up, even the mums, they're like, where you have to do tonight? What you're doing? Like, we do so many after-school activities. We're on it, because I know what you need to put in to... To get out, yeah. To get out, yeah.

To get out. So, we're non-stop. And then by the time we come home and then homework, I'm just like, oh, the times tables. Oh, my God, I used to hate them. Don't. I used to hate the time tables. Well, you wait until the times tables because... It's like...

We've had the five mixed. It's not even in order. She's getting the five mixed. And I said to her teacher the other day Like we are struggling with But she said But with Aurelia She's only going to do

What she's interested in doing And that is it And I'm like, it's a teacher knows It's not me being like Oh no At least she's got character I'm trying That's all I can do

That's all you can do is a parent Is trying Yeah of course it is But I think we should ban homework There is a school near me That they don't give homework Is there? That's a great ban it

We shred it Yeah Homework Mainly because it means We've got to do it as well Homework. Why would you... But it is, isn't it?

We have to sit down with them. Encourage them to do it. It's like... And it's a long day for kids to be at school. And it's not going to be like, oh, let's do a bit more. And it's not going to sound good if we look at it and go, well, I don't actually know. I don't know the answer to that. I hope her teacher doesn't actually watch this, but sometimes I'll do the right end and I just make it look like...

With your left hand. Yeah. No, I am left hand. I'm on the right hand. I'm on the right going like... But now I don't know how kids, because chat GBT right, that's homework now. Yeah, exactly. Did you, I love educating in Yorkshire.

And this girl did a whole piece of homework on AI and they were like, we think this is her. She's like, I'm so offended that you think this is AI. This is me. I've done it. I've done this. But I think I did French and I did the whole thing on translate. And then the French teacher was like, this whole essay is done on that. I'm like, yes, I want to drop French.

What are you not getting? I have no idea of what I meant to be doing. Like, let me drop French. That is the weirdest thing. I don't want to drop it. I'm like, I'm dropping it. I'm dropping it. Yeah.

Or au revoir. Yeah. That's it, isn't it? Why should you be forced to do something if you do? I don't understand the languages as well. But AI is going to take over, isn't it? It is. It already is.

You can have AI glasses that translate people's languages straight away and it goes into your ear. So what's going to happen about doing essays and whatever else at school? We are literally all just going to be robots to it because we're not going to use our brain, aren't we? Let them do it. Let them do it. Let them. Let them do it. And the male Robin said, let them.

Do you mean the academic people? Oh yeah, the academic, not the boring, sorry. The academic. Yeah, they can do it. Not ask people that just do, you know, social media flags. Yeah. Guys, thank you so much for coming on. It's been lovely.

Thanks for having us. Anything good. Yeah, it's been lovely. It's been lovely not being in charge for once. That's a wrap on another episode of Mum's the Word. Thank you so much for joining us today. as we were joined by the amazing Ross and Lucy. Don't forget to leave us a review,

follow us on socials at at Mums the Word underscore pod, and subscribe to our YouTube channel, where you can now watch our episode in full. Just search Mums the Word. Until next time, I'm Kelsey Parker, and this has been Mums the Word, and we'll be back with another episode, same time, same place next week.