Mum's The Word! The Parenting Podcast - SOPHIE DAVID: Why Gentle Parenting Isn’t for Me & How To Make Homework and Phonics Fun

Episode Date: June 8, 2025

This week on Mum’s The Word, Kelsey is joined by the brilliant Sophie David – early years expert, mum of three, and the face behind @LittleHappyLearners.Together, they dive into the realities of parenting that often go unspoken: why gentle parenting doesn’t always work for every family, the surprising differences between stepdads and stepmums when it comes to bonding with their partner’s kids, and why Sophie actually enjoys doing homework with her children.Plus, Sophie shares the inspiration behind her brand new book Read, Write, Play – packed with 100 easy, play-based ways to make phonics fun for kids aged 3 to 7.If you're looking for honest mum chat, practical parenting insight, and a few laughs along the way – this one's for you.A Create Podcast Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

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Instacart, groceries that over-deliver. Welcome back to Mums the Word. I'm your host, Kelsey Parker. Today, I'm joined by the amazing Sophie David. She's a primary school teacher, turned content creator and author. Sophie is a mother of three David. She's a primary school teacher, turned content creator and author. Sophie is a mother of three and she's created Little Happy Learners in 2018, an online

platform providing engaging play-based activities that make learning both fun and effective. Through her platform Sophie shares ideas, resources and tools designed to support parents and educators in fostering a love of learning. So grab a cuppa, get comfy and let's jump into a brand new episode of Mums the Word. So, Sophie, thank you for joining me today on the podcast. Right, do you want to introduce yourself? That's like the worst question, isn't it?

And I make everyone do it. I've done the introduction, but you introduce yourself and tell everyone a little bit about you. Okay, so I am Sophie David. I'm a mum of three. I was a primary school teacher, now doing a little bit of primary

school teaching at home, but on the internet on Little Happy Learners and I've written two books about how to make learning fun at home. So what made you get into that? Obviously being the primary school teacher. Was it COVID? No, weirdly it wasn't. I did start before that, but then so I had my first son and that was it. Basically I was like, I can't go back to teaching because he was one of those children that never let me leave his side. Still is like that now at nearly eight. What have you got? Three boys? I've got two boys and a girl. Two boys and a girl. But I do think boys are way more clingy. Oh he is but then my my middle he's not because he had to just get on with it because my

Stuck to me because I think we all go through and go Oh a boy It's like this it goes like this it's just personality traits of your child But my first is really confident get some of it. My second is more clean to me and holds back It is boys as well. I do think that boys are I think they need as they're younger a little bit more Affection and attention and when they're older you're gonna be one of them boy moms It's like my son can do no wrong a hundred percent and I'm also gonna be one of those Absolutely, and I'm gonna be one of those that like really be friends the girlfriends so I can be there at the birth and everything Yeah, I'm gonna be one of those. Yeah that is quite like a point isn't it? Yeah your boys they don't need you

as much because once they meet someone. But what if you meet someone and they both your boys move away? Oh no they're not. Would you move with them? No like they're not moving they just know. My sister moved to Australia so I feel like we've got that experience there so I'll be like no you're not doing more Auntie Charlie's's done. You're staying with me. Is she still in Australia now? Yeah, she's in Australia. And she loves it? Loves it, yeah.

Oh. Yeah. Because my nan tried to be like that with her son and he fled the nest and went to Australia and India and traveled the world. Yeah, some people want that. And was a car boulder. Well, some people want that for their children. I don't. No. Don't travel the world. Stay here with me. Yeah, some people want that. I was a car boulder. Well, some people want that for their children.

I don't. No. Don't travel the world. Stay here with me. I think I'm needier than them and I think that's why I got a needy first one. That's definitely. Oh, I love that. So you just started educating him.

Yeah. So I had my eldest and then I don't know what went through our brains, but I then tried for a second really quickly. So I had two under yeah one was 14 months and then my second came along so I think that's when I went honey I was I had 15 months yeah exactly so you know you've been there and it's a well-winned yeah and also at the time when you actually fall pregnant so like you've had you've they are like babies so when I did actually fall pregnant I said I still felt like felt like it was a lot of time.

Yeah, it is. But then I think when they get older, you're like, no, the age gap is actually really small. It's really small. At the time you don't think it, do you? I don't think so because they feel so big. The first one feels huge, doesn't it? And then this newborn comes along. But it's when I look back on pictures now I go, I don't even know where my head was at in that time like I don't know what made us want to do it so quickly but I really quickly realized that I needed to do something

mine was that I actually stopped breastfeeding oh did you and you just fell pregnant I feel great at the next month. We planned it! Like what? You planned! I literally stopped breastfeeding and fell pregnant the next month. Wow. So, contraception guys is key. Really important. It's really important. I remember telling my mum that I was pregnant with him and I was like, so pregnant again? She was like, no you're not. I was like, I am, yeah, it's happening.

She was like, he's only six months old. I was like, I know, yeah, we wanted it. We've done it. It's done. But yeah, so I was just like, I've got to do something at home to keep them occupied. I needed my brain to keep going. So that's what started it all. And weirdly, I thought I would be the only person doing what I was doing on Instagram. I was like, I'm going to share this with the world and do all of these fun activities. And then I realized

there's a lot of people doing it. Lots of people. So yeah. I do think everyone's in the same boat because you do want to do the stuff at home but I just feel that when we bring an activity out at home, like in the half term, I can only do a few days at home because I think that's hard in itself. Like we stayed at home, oh, we got bands, I got bands cast out from my side doing all that.

Then Aurelia literally is a whirlwind. So she just goes to like the arts and crafts cupboard and just pick stuff out So then she wanted to do these like molds that she was making her own badges and then had to paint them So we were like content try get the bowl out try and tries to get everything out and then we left them painting We were doing something else. I mean literally I left them painters in I could see them But time I turned my back she'd actually painted him. She painted Bodie Hmm, then I was like right everyone's got get in the shower now now We're gonna go out like I just don't know how you do it. I think my kids really crave it

So I like to be out of the behavior now. They know yeah, so yeah, so mine Well, if we've had two days out they'll go please mommy. Can we have a home day when we craft all day? It's stay in our charmers.ammers and I'm like yeah okay we can do it. Do you not feel like you've got to clear up a lot of mess? Yeah and no I don't really mind the mess I feel like it's just a minor also so my middle he is a whirlwind wants to do everything but he's also he likes organizing stuff so he just will go oh I'll clean that up for you mummy and he will just do it because he just likes to be

Doing all the time so it doesn't matter what it is if I'm cooking He's with me because he would rather that then sit and watch the TV. He never watches the TV ever He will actively go. I don't like watching TV like please just watch five minutes But he just wants to be with me doing whatever. So I think mess-wise they, it sounds like it's like ideal and my home life's amazing, it's not. They are, there's a lot of shouting a lot of the time but they do just come along for the ride and they tidy up. Do they not argue together when you're doing an activity? Not when we're doing it, no. I think like you say it's a learnt behaviour like now that's our quality time, they know that that's the time they're with me and

they're going to get what they want out of it so I think they've learned that that time's our quality time. They know that that's the time they're with me and they're going to get what they want out of it. So I think they've learned that that time's our time to be together. It's a bit like meal times, you know? Like we all come together at a meal time, maybe five days a week, Adam's with us for dinner, and then two, he's not. But they know that that time's at the table,

we're all gonna sit and eat, we're all gonna sit and chat. And it's a bit like that with crafting. They know that that's my time, and that we're gonna sit and it's gonna be fun, and they like it. So when like that with crafting they know that that's my time and that we're going to sit and it's going to be fun and they they like it. But you so when you were a primary school teacher you absolutely loved doing. I loved being a teacher yeah. What was your favourite age group to teach? So I taught predominantly in reception so that was my favourite but then.

Reception would be my favourite. Oh it's the best it was so good it's only because you see such progress so like they come in and they're all clingy to their mums and they don't want to leave their parents and they can't even write their names and then by the end of it you're like, you've written a story? How has that even happened in that time? It's lovely, I loved being a teacher. I was meant to be a teacher but then I was meant to be a mum. But I think you are. I think people are either born to teach because even my mum and my auntie, they are massively involved in the performing arts school,

but they're like, you and my business partner, Kelsey, you were just born to be teachers and talk to kids because, just really big myself, I feel so, I am born to be a teacher, but I love that. You come alive when you're doing it. Oh, I absolutely love them. Like yesterday we had a three hour rehearsal and we predominantly have little ones now. So when we actually did three hours we were

like oh my god why have we called a three hour rehearsal one with like five year olds. Yeah literally I think we've got about like 35 under the age of five. To get them in their ballet shoes, their tap shoes but it's what they tell me, the stories they tell me and if you ask them like what does your mum and dad do? That's my favourite question. Yeah they'll tell you everything. I've had some lovely brilliant stories over the time that I was a teacher just they'd come out with these gems and I'd relish in telling the parents after school and go out and look at them, by way, they told me this today and they'll be like, no, the embarrassment over their faces. But when I go to parents evening and I go to the teachers,

I don't want to know what Aurelia talks about me. I don't want to know anything what she says because she will tell my secrets. Yeah, everything. Well, I don't actually have any secrets because she will tell them. They're out there. Yeah, they are out there.

So what was your most unexpected high and low in motherhood so far? What do you think surprised you the most? I love being a mum. And I think naturally we see so much on the internet now, and I don't want to be one of those that's like moaning about people moaning because I'm not. But we see a lot of negativity and I think we see it a lot through humour. And I love it and I can relate to it completely. But I actually really love being a mum and people are going to hate me for saying that. But I do. I think we see it a lot through humor and I love it and I can relate to it completely but I actually really love being a mum and people are going to hate me for

saying that but I do. But then I do think, okay I know what you're saying so you've got these comic mums, I probably have quite a lot on these podcasts, they bring up the parts of motherhood where you're like oh my god. I hard relate to it completely. But then also I think some people paint the most perfect life. Yeah that's a great idea. Completely. But then also, I think some people paint the most perfect life. Yeah, that's a great, yeah.

And display their immaculate house. Yeah. And there's the polar opposites of each other. And I feel like the ones that, so I think a lot of people would say that I portray a really positive way. And that is because I do that intentionally. If I went on and showed my, so this morning, for for instance my middle son just woke up in a foul mood I'm recording a day in the life of today

I'm not gonna include that in it because everybody's kids, you know, they all wake up in a bad mood But I feel like I don't show that side of it because I'm like actually the way we then move on and get through that Is positive I try and be really positive. So yeah, I won't show those things So then we do I do get lots of comments like oh, that's not realistic That's not what we do in a whole morning I'm like we do do it in the morning because my kids are up at 5 a.m And I don't have to walk to school until 830 So what I'm saying is the tasks last like their concentration

If you've got five minutes, you've got five minutes painting five minutes clearing up five minutes of radio then get in I always blame a radio., it could be Bodie as well, but Aurelia and then getting like a massive box down of a thousand piece arts and crafts kit that she wants one bracelet made, then she'll be watching the TV, then I'll go upstairs and they like making dens. Oh, the dens. So then I thought den upstairs, like yesterday morning, I was like, it's a Sunday morning, I just want to chill. Yeah, and they're making a den.

I actually posted on Instagram To be relatable or relatable moms. I'm like look at my two they were literally Beats they're fighting fighting. Yeah, that's all my kids do they fight all the time, but I don't show it So does it mean as well come on if people didn't think they had a fight with their sibling Yeah, exactly and it's like now I wrote your talks like this and she'll say things and will turns And I say is it like you? Yeah, Will goes does that sound like anyone? I'm like, that's me. She goes right one two

She's like mind you if I get to three I'm gonna hurt you. And you're like I don't say that bit I promise But I think that's what it is. My high is that just like day to day I I do just love being a mum So I like those the moments that you get, you know Those moments you do look at them you go you're actually adorable But obviously do have other moments but then lows I do think it is the sibling arguing I think that that's when I get myself in well, you don't have to control it I don't either because you're a bit like, okay, they're siblings they need to argue

But it is the control of that But then I think about the future and I'm like, I don't want to say something now that's going to affect them in years to come where they're going to therapy and saying, my mom said this. So I then feel like I'm second guessing what I'm saying. Well, should I say something that I think, I think this is like a known fact as well.

I feel like there's a lot of people out there that have put this out there, that you and your, what have you got, sisters? I've got four sisters. Yeah, you and your sisters, you will all take difference from, take difference, I mean the baby brain is on point, you will all feel different about your childhood and your parenting and how you were parented. Because also I don't think you can parent four kids the same. Like you're saying, three of them have got different personalities.

I've got another one on the way, who knows what this personality is going to be like. I can't, with Aralia, I can sort of bribe her a little bit and be like, if you do this, there'll be this at the end of it. Bodhi, it ain't happening. Yeah, I've got the same. He's either doing or he's not, that's it. So let's be really positive to get him to football football or whatever is he does actually like going to his activities I don't know what the example is, but I have to be really really positive

Because if he has a meltdown We will all know about it that you have to parent and you've hit the nail on the head each one of my children Are parented very differently and but I'm really conscious of that So I'm like I always say some mommy is being fair because it may not feel like it is to them because I've got I've said one thing to one but I always come back to the fairness I'm like well you're all being treated exactly the same because I don't want yeah I don't want child trauma. But I don't know if you can treat them all the same. You can't but you can always be fair so I'm like as long as I'm being fair because I do I have to be harder on my middle than I do my eldest. If I'm hard on my eldest, he then, he gets really anxious.

That's where I'm at. Yeah. And then, but with my middle, I have to be hard on it because if I'm too soft, he takes advantage. Well, he's your well-win, didn't he? Yeah, absolutely. And then with my daughter, honestly, she is just another kettle of fish. Is she? Oh, she is something else. She doesn't do anything I ask her to. She's four, so I feel like she's still finding her way and still, but I think school, when she goes to school, she might. I do feel like they do make a leap when you take them to school. Yeah, they do.

Because they start learning and it's the discipline. And you know, if you're not a massive fan of schools, I do feel like that's what they get. Like the other day I was like to mum, I just love to homeschool them. Not that I actually want to do it, but I'd love to take them and she's like, Kelsey, but what they're learning, like the discipline and to go to work and you know.

And doing things you don't want to do. I think that's a really hard thing. Because in life we all do stuff we don't want to do. Yeah, well absolutely. And I think homeschooling, I definitely thought about it because I have an education background. You can do it, you can do it. I have an education background, so I thought, yeah, I could do it it because I have an education background. You can do it, you can do it. I have an education background,

so I thought, yeah, I could do it. But I think that there is definitely, I do a lot of homeschooling at home anyway, because I like to just compliment what they're doing at school. But I feel like going to school, exactly that. We have to get up and do things we don't wanna do sometimes.

It's not about only learning in the way that you want to learn, because we all learn in so many different ways. Being around lots of different children, I think is really important. It helps you with life skills. And mine actually love people. Yeah, mine do too.

I'm a people person. I love being out, I love socializing and they're exactly the same. When they come back from school, they won't tell me anything that they did at school. They'll tell me about the people, what this person did and who they played with and who wears hot pants underneath their dresses. And what they ate. I'm very on the food though.

Yeah because I'm like what did you eat? Tell me everything. Bode went in and he's my good eater and he tried to get away with just eating pasta and sauce. You're like no. And he hates getting in trouble so I'm gonna have to go and talk to your teachers now just eating pasta and sauce. You're like, no. And he hates getting in trouble. So I went, I'm gonna have to go and talk to your teachers now, because mommy's not happy. You need to have lots of food. No, I said you need to go and you need to have the main meal. You're not fussy.

Again, if he was fussy, I would understand, but you're not. Try different food. So then it becomes the point of, you are taking the- Yeah, exactly. They do, they copy each other. Mine are weird,... yeah exactly they do they take they copy each other. Mine are weird my kids because they come out of school and tell me everything and when I say everything I get a run down there I hung my coat up I went and sat on the carpet I went to assembly and then assembly I'll get they've read a book and I know exactly what the book is and can you buy that book at home? Well why would you lap that up? Because I think that's only going to last for a few years. My daughter then goes, are they finished yet? I'm like, I don't know, they're not finished.

Do you have a board of school? Do I have to go to that school? I know everything, but they tell me everything. I don't know how I've created that at home because people ask me that all the time, how do you get them to tell you? I'm like, I don't know, they just do. Because mine in the car, we're always on some activity, that's when they unleash yeah he's in when they get into that or in a car and they that's when the fighting starts that's when the tempers start because for me as well I

want them to express it so I'm like you've just had to be good all day and and mine are good kids but they've had to be good all day so I'm like yeah take that time but also then you've then picked them up you want the happy kids why can't I have the happy kids that I've just picked up and it's like they go in the car and then they do say though because they're so like when they're with their mums or their parents they're so comfortable that's when all of those big emotions are allowed to come out so I always see can you just save the emotions for someone else yeah can you just do that at school? Yeah, I just want a little bit of loving. Like, mum, how are you?

That's the bit I find the hardest. It is the bit. I just think when they're horrible to each other, I'm like, why? Like, me and Adam, we're not... We're so... Like, we try and show how you can speak to each other really nicely and calmly. Adam is the calmest human being I've ever known in my life. So he's...

Are you calm? No, no I'm the opposite. So I go from like 0 to 100 so I've really had to like hone that in since being a mum because that is my natural way of being. If I get angry I'm like... so I've really had to work on that. Sometimes I don't get it right all the time. I'm definitely not gentle parenting. I think I'm somewhere in between because I do and I think that's something that people don't really they because I portray this Positive I'm not gonna show me telling my children off or my kids having some sort of meltdown or screaming at me But there is a lot like my mum wouldn't mind me saying it She was a bit of a shouty mum, and I think that was just the 90s way

All mums are shouty. I don't know how, but I talk about it a lot in here. I don't know how people are gentle parent. I don't know how you do it. No. Because I am a laid back person. I am laid back. Are you? I'm laid back, but then until I'm not.

Yeah. So I am like easy going, but then when they rattle me, I'm like, wha. Usually it's when we're spinning so many plates though. And that's what I always say to Adam. I always say, have you noticed I've become shoutier? I will be like, be like you need to get ready get out the door I can't be late for anything hence the reason I was here like 20 minutes early so I that's when I will hit my peak where I'm like everybody hurry up he's just chill just so calm all the time and I'm always say to him notice when

I'm ramping up that's when I'm stressed that's when I'm spinning too up, that's when I'm stressed. That's when I'm spinning too much. And he's like, okay. He is very good at then picking up the slack and going, okay, I'll do the washing. You just do this. And I'm like, okay, good. Thank you. You've noticed. You've noticed.

It is so hard. And that's, Will is so laid back. My partner is literally so laid back. And I don't think I've ever been with anyone that is so laid back. Because with Tom, Tom was like renowned for his tantrums. I was the laid back person and Tom would have these tantrums. And I say to the kids now like, your dad would not let you get away with this.

You're literally your dad would be going mad right now. I say it to them all the time because I remember Tom left my brother in a car park when he was 10 years old because he kicked his car. He's like, no, that's it. He was like, I'm driving off. Like, that's it. You've been rude. So I was like, what sort of parent was he going to be?

And it's quite, for me, obviously, I don't expect people to come into my life and start telling my kids off, but I'm like, now, well, back me. You need to do this, please please I can't do it anymore I am the one that tails off in my house Adam doesn't do that at all so I always that's the one thing I'm owning him for what did Adam's mum say that he was like as a kid really chill he's always been chill and he didn't ever do anything wrong he was one of those kids you know like never push boundaries to be fair I was as well I was a bit like

that I didn't really I'm not an argumentative or yeah, I'm not a confrontational person. I don't like doing things wrong. If I do something wrong, that's when I then, yeah, I'm not very good at that. I don't deal with it very well, but he's just really chill, really relaxed and he never did anything. Tom was a rule breaker and I'm a bit of a rule breaker. Are you? So I sit back and go, well, how do I expect any less from our kids? Like, of course they're going to be defiant and want to stand up for themselves because that is me and Tom. Yeah, so I wasn't like, I was very much, I did what I was supposed to do and didn't really say much.

You was a good girl. I was a very good girl, yeah. Especially in primary school. And then I think Adam was as well, like the worst that he did was graffitied the word crap on a wall before. Adam was as well, like the worst that he did was graffitied the word crap on a wall before. Ooh, Adam bad boy! He's so naughty! So I think that's where that comes in. So I think our kids will be quite well, they are well behaved, they're lovely children, but yeah, at home they're not so much.

Yeah, but like you said, they need to let loose with you. Do you have an insatiable fascination with the paranormal? Are you ready to dive headfirst into the eerie realms of the unexplained? Brace yourself for the supernatural world is about to reveal all of its secrets on the Paranormal Activity podcast. And who better to guide you through this hair-raising journey than myself, Yvette Field Fielding renowned paranormal investigator. Every episode of Paranormal Activity takes you on an unforgettable adventure into the unknown. I share my own encounters, chilling experiences and exclusive insights into the

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No, I trained up to age 11. Yeah. Yeah. Yes. So I'm gonna be honest teenage world really really stresses me out It really worries me. I don't know how that's going to look my free children are all very different We talk about it a lot because I think we try and preempt things as well So I just don't want them to follow the crowd. So I'm like know what you like and that's it Don't try and impress people. I don't think my eldest will because he's just worried about everything. I think my middle, he will try and impress I think. So he'll be there doing it all. Yeah I think so. I'm not, I don't know. It's hard to know isn't it? And also I bet you when we, years to come we'll get back together and it'll be like no it's my first. It's my first, probably. So why is the quiet one? Yeah that is true.

But my daughter, she's like honestly I don't know what she'll be like she is like a party animal we just catch her sometimes just like head banging in a corner I'm like what are you doing? She just wants to be listening to music all the time just singing dancing around the house and she will stamp her feet until she gets her own way. So I think she'll be the one that I have to watch. The boys are really into football, like obsessed with football. So I think that they will go down the football route and just be very focused on being the best that they can, especially my middle. So you're not worried about like GCSE stage? You feel like you can help them? Oh no, educationally absolutely not but I think it'll be okay, we'll get through it. I'm very much so you can probably roll your eyes at this as well. I quite like homework for the kids.

I know yeah but only because it gives you an insight into what they're doing. Oh boy it's okay, it's podcast. Everybody says that like why would you want them to do it but I like to get an insight into what they're doing. Oh, but it's open in this podcast. Everybody says that, like, why would you want them to do it? But I like to get that insight into what they're doing. So then I know what they're struggling with, what they're really enjoying at school. And also sometimes the teachers in this, even though I've been a teacher in primary school, they will teach a different strategy. And then I go, oh, I didn't learn it like this.

And then it just helps me to understand them. My eldest is anxious naturally, so he might do something in school and then come back and be like we've tried this mum Can you go through it with me? So and he's in year three now So I think when they get to key stage two, it does ramp up So I quite like it for that reason. I thought it ramped up from reception to year one. Yeah, that is a big jump as well Isn't it? Yeah, it is. What happened to these books? We were just repeating the same words? Yeah and they're just having to sit down at a desk I think that's big for them isn't it? I've actually taken myself away from homework and my auntie, good old Julie and my cousin she tutors, they sort of tag team and do their homework with

her because she gets so stressed with me But I remember how I felt towards my mom and I thought yeah you I am annoying my voice is annoying Everything's irritating. I get it because I felt that way. I'm gonna give you a shift here because I think naturally We go Oh homework Oh, and we have this such negative outlook on it that it then rubs off on our kids Whereas if we go to them should we do that together? That's our time together and it's your turn. I don't care if you get it, right I don't care if you do a good job on it It's your turn to talk to me about what you're doing in school Like you teach me give them the shift of okay, you've been doing this. I don't know anything about this

Now you tell me what this is and that shift it one gives them this one-to-one time with you that my kids absolutely crave. I don't know if that's just a my kids thing, but they love that time with me. But also now it's not like, oh, do I have to do it? They're like, my eldest comes home on a Friday and he goes, can we do my homework? Yeah, cool. Yeah, we do. We do ours on a Friday. Yeah, that's what we do. We get it done. Because then it gets it done and it's done.

And then we did reading last night and I wrote in the reading Record book but it's the spellings like we've got the spellings to do I'm like, let's look at the spellings on the way to school. Do the spellings in the bath, get a paint stick on the bath They're done. Oh no Sophie, they don't come off the bath. Do they not? Oh, you need to get the crayon one You need to get the rubbish one. Don't get crayons, get paint sticks but like cheap paint sticks They come off with just a sponge. Yeah, we do things like that. So I'm like, I don't get crayons get paint sticks, but like cheap paint sticks. They come off with just a sponge Yeah, we do things like that. So I'm like, I don't do any of the other day Then have this like parent parent and SOS

Bodie would then get jealous if I was doing that verania and he's not at that stage So he's yeah, he's going into reception in September. So he'll start his learning then I think it's gonna be a little lease of life for him Yeah in September, so he'll start his learning then I think it's gonna be a little lease of life for him. Yeah They will then that's when an argument would start because you're doing it because if I was doing that of a radio He's then because they are so close in age. Yeah, I feel like when I actually have another baby It will be better for them because they've only got each other They do everything together pretty much every activity Then obviously if I'm giving a radio a bit more attention Bodie, then he gets upset and then I'm very like,

oh, I don't want to leave him out. So always see it as like there's always an adjustment period because when they know that's an expectation and that happens, that it just slips into your routine. What I always say is that there's always going to be like a two week window of an adjustment when you're settling in into a new structural routine. So when baby comes, you'll notice that there's two weeks

where they're going, what is this? My eldest we'd in a plant pot just randomly when the baby came because, and I think he was three. I was like, why are you doing that? Because there's this- No, mine are doing outrageous things at the moment. And they do. They're very uptight and they can't understand

when this baby's actually coming. How many more weeks we've got? I'm like, I can't actually predict when this baby's coming. I don't know yet, it just can't. But I do know actually coming. How many more weeks we've got? I can't actually predict when this baby's coming. We don't know yet, it just can't. But I do know that the behavior is obviously gonna change. Yeah, and there'll be an adjustment period.

Even when we just went on holiday, my kids are obsessed with me. My kids are obsessed with me, but also absolutely love my mum. My mum has been my co-parent. So when we go away, if my mum's there, they wanna be with my mum. She was like, what's happened? They literally did not leave my side the whole holiday.

Yeah, they become more clingy. Because obviously they know that there's going to be a change. There's change. And with every change there comes this expectation that they're not sure on what you expect. And it's the unknown. Yeah. And your expectations will change with them because you'll need them to be a little bit more grown up, especially Bodie. You start noticing that he He starts to go back into himself and become a bit more babyish because he wants You to not expect so much from him. So with everything like even with now I'm obviously struggling with the carrying

I'm like, I can't just keep carrying around and picking you up and taking you into your bed He'll want to be the baby again. So please I'm like you are my baby But I'm actually struggling so my daughter did that when we got a dog So when we got a dog, she actually said to me, do you love me as much as I? Of course I do. She's a dog. I love you more But she it was just this adjustment of we're giving this thing more attention than her and she wasn't used to it So with everything there comes this adjustment patch And so if it is just giving them one-to-one time and they know that they have to that's your

Time to go and watch 10 minutes of TV whilst I'm doing this with a radio or here's a bit of iPad time So try and give them something that they like doing whilst you're doing it It's really hard that adjustment period when they're learning but mine now know that if I'm sat at the table doing homework with my eldest That that's that's his time and then they each get their own time. Sometimes they'll be like, why does she get to do the really fun thing and I've got to do this? I'm like, well, you know, pigs and troughs, we all have to do with it. That's it guys. Oh my god, it is actually so interesting though, isn't it? And how our

little people work. So also with Aurelia, where she's gone from different schools, they're learning different versions of phonics. Yeah. How do you feel about phonics? Love phonics. So I was a reception teacher. So I then went on to just absolutely love phonics teaching. So then I went and I was a phonics specialist and yeah, absolutely love phonics, but there's so many different schemes and so many different ways you can see. Who comes up with this though? So there's loads of different schemes, there's one that's written by Ruth Miskin which is read, write, ink so what phonics schemes does Arraed have? I think she at her old school she did that okay yeah now she does a different one. Is she doing Little Wandal? I have no idea but the

teacher said to me sometimes she she reverts back to her old way. Yeah. But that's also, phonics is phonics. I wonder how long do you actually do phonics for? Until year two. No but what I'm saying is it's not like the biggest deal in the world. Oh no it's not and also phonics is phonics. This is a question I'm asked continuously is oh well if I do phonics at home with my child when they start school are they not gonna get really confused? I'm like no if I do phonics at home with my child, when they start school, are they not going to get really confused? I'm like, no, phonics is phonics. It's how we learn to read. It's just, it will say the sss sound in any phonics scheme and s says sss, that's it. And we, I think we overcomplicate it. It has become very complex, but when we learned to read,

we would have learned in a whole word approach. So I remember a little getting a little metal tin and coming home with all these words that I had to just learn. Whereas now we've just given them a strategy to be able to break up the words, which is what phonics is. And it doesn't need to be really stressful or, but there is so much for them to learn. So I think that kids sometimes do find it really overwhelming. So you've got a phonics book coming out though. Yes. And do it on June. Tell me more about your phonics book Basically, I'll tell you the story of why I decided to write it So my sister So my kids go to school and two of my three of my kids sisters kids go to the same school

And we all had a parents evening and then my sister rang me and she was like, what is a split diagram? I was like, oh, um, it's all the vowels and then they're followed by an e and she was like no no I need you to tell me it really simply and I was like, oh, it's all the vowels and then they're followed by an E. And she was like, no, no, no, I need you to tell me it really simply. And I was like, okay, so like in the word cake, the A is making the A sound instead of an A sound. And she was like, no, no, even simpler. I was like, okay, it's just making an A sound. Like it's cake, it's spelt k-a-k and you don't sound the E, it's silent E. And she was like, so it's magic E because we learn it as magic E.

The E just comes on the end and doesn't make a sound. And I was like, yeah, why are you asking this? She said, well, her daughter, she doesn't know any of her split diagraphs, she's really falling behind in phonics, and she needs to know how to help her. And I was like, okay, well, I'll tell you what, I'll just give you a few games

that you can play with at home. And she did it for a week, and she was like, she knows all her split diagraphs now. I've literally just been doing a five minute game for every day. There you go, that's what it's about. So in my head I thought, mums don't know about this, they just don't know. So I've been doing phonics videos on my Instagram for a really long time and then I started doing videos. I did one video last year that just went absolutely

crazy. Kelly Rowland followed me from it. What? Yeah. I'm like, that means I'm best friends with Beyonce surely because. Surely. Surely. She is Beyonce, we have Beyonce on here. Hi. But yeah I was like it just blew up it went mental and then it made me realise that actually. Isn't it crazy how a video blows up though? Yeah. He was like oh my little video about phonics is gonna blow up. And honestly I could post it a million times and it still does well and I'm like why? Is what I'm wearing should I wear that again? What was it? Just a roll neck? It can't be what I'm wearing. Why have you not got the roll neck on today? I don't know, it's too warm. But yeah it was one of those things where I just don't know why it went crazy but it did and so then yeah I was like I'm gonna write a book about phonics. So it's a phonics book with a hundred different ideas to make phonics fun at home and you could literally pick it up for Aurelia who's going to be in year two or right now and

you can if she says mum what's the split diagraph you can go to a chapter in it and then there's activities for split diagraphs and then you've got Bodhi starting you could even do it now so there's phase one Bodhi's not in school yet and there's phase one before they even start their sounds and there's 20 activities that you can do with Bodhi right now, but then there's also activities that you can do with him, all about Tealia too. There you have it guys, go get your phonics book. If you're struggling with phonics, or if you've got a child, I can't stress this enough, if you've got a child where the teacher has said, oh, that we think they might be dyslexic

or they're struggling with phonics, I cannot stress enough that make it fun at home because they sit at a desk at school and I was a teacher, I always tried to make all my lessons really fun. If I could get them up running around the classroom, that's what I did. They will learn far more if you are enjoying it together, which is why I said we need to try and shift that mindset on homework. We need to make homework a fun thing in the house that they're teaching you. Just yeah, change that narrative. Let's try and make it more fun because actually, if you like learning now, you will continue to learn for the rest of your life. So that's what I try and get my kids to think anyway. How do you feel about screen time? I think

it's a tricky one because I don't really feel strongly about it enough that I'm like no they can't have it. We don't have any iPads or anything like that. We have the TV and my eldest, well they all got a Nintendo Switch for Christmas for the first time because of my eldest was like everyone's got one so we got one but he's the only one that's interested in it. The other two do not not care so they have the tv and then the switch i have very strict rules on the switch i'm not gonna lie so my eldest has to do half an hour of actually some sort of writing maths or creative to get his time on the ipad but again that's worth something i really do agree with that because what do we all go to work for? So he has to earn it and he earns it by doing those things and

he, like I said, it's an expectation. We've started that right from the beginning. It's really hard to then introduce that if you've always just allowed them to do what they want. With the TV I find it harder. Like you said earlier, it's a two week transitional period. Yeah it is. I do think if you go for a role because I had to switch rules up and I'm always, I think you're always learning as a mum. You know what that's not working for me, we need to we need to switch this up a little bit. That is key, changing things regularly for kids. So I have people say to me, if you're doing something like a reward chart or you know pom-poms in a jar, I think everybody did during lockdown didn't they, put your pom-poms in the jar. You

have to change it. Pom-poms will not work after a week. You need to then change. We've even had water in a jar before. At the moment, I said to my kids this morning, they were all arguing over football cards, and I said to them, we are not shouting anymore. When you come home from school today, there will be a jar of pom-poms, and if anyone shouts, a pom-pom's being taken out. That will work for a week, and then I'll have to swap it and What they win they have to stay above a line I'm like we're not going to Australia at Christmas if that line is not there until June and then okay But I think you have to just constantly change it up and make these rules

But if you are setting a standard with screen time, it has to you know, don't change it So he knows he cannot ask me on a day That is not a Nintendo switch day, if he can use it. Cause if he does, that takes the day away the next day. I'm really strict on it. So how many days a week do you let him go on the Nintendo? So he goes two evenings, he gets half an hour in the week. And then on a Saturday, he gets to play it.

So it's only those days, but only because as well, he is one of those kids that he doesn't know when to stop. He will just carry on and on for hours So that's his role. He gets half an hour on a Monday and a Wednesday and then on a Saturday He gets an hour TV. I don't limit because I think in the winter It's really hard isn't it in the summer we open up our doors and they're outside in the garden Yeah, like yesterday morning after I filmed the fight on Insta, I open up the door. Yeah then I opened the door they went on the

trampoline and then they started creating a den and then every toy went outside. And you're like that's an indoor toy! That's an indoor toy, what's it doing out there? And she's so sneaky she just sneaks it out. Yeah that's what mine does. But I don't mind that if they're outside I'm happy and I think in the summer I don't even have to give them any limits because they just want to be doing and playing together But I do think it's harder in the winter I'm also I don't have I'm not really strict on it. Like I said, I don't know we don't have iPads So if we're at a restaurant, we don't take them with what do you take to the restaurant coloring? What is your go-to at the restaurant coloring? So we'll just take coloring

We're really I see that now, but we very, I'm always said to my kids, only boring people get bored. So you can always come up with something. So we play games. So they'll always have colouring, but they get bored of that very quickly. So we play games like, you know, how many things am I holding up for?

And then we do that all together. I feel like when we were younger, we just had to make do. I remember going to restaurants and sitting there. We didn't take anything. No. The only things that we had as kids is like, I had a game boy. Yeah, I did sometimes have a game boy,

but my mum and dad wouldn't let me have it at the table. Yeah, I can't think if they'd let me take that out or not. No, it's your turn. I think we have- We did have to sit at that table. And I think now we all go out a lot more and like that change. Yeah, I agree. And we eat out probably way more than what we should.

But we had to sit there and my grandparents made me Yeah, if I got up my granddad get back on that chair get back and I would not move Yeah, you wouldn't because that's just I think we used to take cards out. I do love a card game I like a card game as well. We do take cards Sometimes I get other say to them if you want to you can bring your books and they'll bring books But even just on a holiday we had to bring the cards out for my 18 year old brother who gets bored yeah is that another game another game another game well i think as well it's okay to get bored and but as long as you're then doing something together so i always find and i'm not judging people if you have to bring your ipad out with your earphones

to the table so you can have a meal with your mum with your whoever you're with absolutely you do you i'm not going gonna judge you on that. But for me, I feel like mealtimes, especially, that's the only time really we were all sat together and talking, so we have that ethos at home. If we're at the dinner table, I don't bring my phone to the dinner table. We all just sit and we have our dinner together.

Sometimes we talk, sometimes they wanna rush off and that's cool, but they know that that's their expectation. I worry about screen time for them as they get older but I think that's just my worry and proud. I think with our house as well that so much has happened over the space of three years that we're adjusting all the time. Like even when it came to feeding them, I used to feed the kids and not eat with them and then feed myself like something so basic later.

Well you're in survival mode though, weren't you? Oh god, I don't even know what happened. I can't even remember. But obviously now we've got Will and we are a family. We all sit down and we have them meal times together and Will will say, no, we're all sitting at the table. We're all doing this together. I think that's what's important.

I mean, he's had to adapt. He's had to come on with no kids to two kids. He's like what the hell's happened to me now? It's gonna have three. Yeah, it is. I'm this the same things happen with my sister so she separated from her partner and then her new she got married last weekend and Congratulations, she he's just walked in and he's got two children already and one on the way So I think he feels like he's in a bit of a whirlwind, but I think they take it in their stride, don't they? Men don't overthink, especially Will. That's what I'm saying. They don't, do they?

What's that laid back? I think if it were me, I would be really overthinking everything. Like, am I getting this relationship right? But I just think, so he's just taking it in stride, absolutely. I do think this is obviously a whole other topic of conversation, that women who take children on it is harder because I do think women do overthink a lot more. I do think men go into relationships if people have got kids. They are laid back.

My stepdad came in, had no kids, met my mom, already had me and my brother, and I was like 11. And then my mom said, oh, I want to have more kids. He was like, no, no, no, I'm fine. We've got your kids. She was like, no, no mum said oh I want to have more kids he was like no no no I'm fine we've got your kids yeah but she was like no no no I want kids with you and they went on to have two more kids but he like accepted us to Kassin I just he didn't really he didn't think about it though I think in my do you think it's our mother in instinct I think so we just worry about I worry about everything everything I worry about things that I say I said sometimes you think of yourself you think to yourself why are you actually worrying about that just worry about I worry about everything everything I worry about things that I say I said I'm sure you think if you said you think to yourself Why are you actually worrying about that you worry about stuff that you can't control you're like, why am I worrying?

But you can't help but worry I said it's a little bit of acid sometimes I say things and then I think it back and think Are they going to think about this when they are 14 and he's like, I've never ever thought that in my head ever He told me Adam told me that in my head ever he told me Adam told me that in his head sometimes there's just nothing in no thought no thoughts silence that blows my mind because I don't think I've ever sat there and it's just silent in my head ever I've got in my head like all these things going on like what did I do then I have to hyper focus on the points like especially when I get into bed and then it will get done the next day like I

have to be like yeah like Kelsey what Kelsey, what is your thought? Okay. You need to do that tomorrow. You need to contact that person. You need to go with how are you falling asleep? Can you just fall asleep really quickly? Oh, can you set up? I am so tired at the moment. So you're okay. Yeah. I think as well pregnancy gives you anxiety. A lot more anxiety. Like I did a podcast last week with somebody else and I came away from it and I was really worried about I said and I was like, why are you worrying? So I leave this and never think about it But I started getting anxiety and I'm like you you're giving yourself anxiety about something you can't control and you said it now You said it Kels and you know that you could just say to them, please

And also you said it Kels and you know that you could just say to them, please Was that wrong was that wrong I didn't start like scrutinizing yeah thing that I said I do that every day Regardless if I'm pregnant. Yeah, I overthink I'll have a conversation with someone and then I'll think it back through I only if I feel like I might have said something that wasn't I don't know. I overthink everything everything. That's just me. That's just me. Yeah I don't know, I overthink everything. Everything. That's just me. That's just me. Yeah. And that's a wrap on another episode of Mums the Word. Thank you so much for joining us today as we were joined by the amazing Sophie David. Don't forget to leave us a review, follow us on socials at at mums the word underscore pod and subscribe to our YouTube channel, Just Search MumsTheWord. Until next time, I'm Kelsey Parker and this has been MumsTheWord. And we'll be back with another episode, same time, same place, next week.