Murdaugh Murders Podcast - Red Flags on Divorce And Challenging Flaws in Legislation - A LUNASHARK Premium Dive (And Preview)

Starting point is 00:00:00 Hey there listeners, EB here and I want to tell you about a new weekly podcast that I'm hosting. I love being a lawyer, being a speaker. I absolutely am looking forward to being an author of my book, Anything But Bland, but I'm excited to tell you that I'm launching my very own podcast called Good Skill, Betting On Yourself. I delve into the idea that success isn't merely about luck, but is instead achieved through honing skills and strategic efforts and planning. Each episode of Good Skill offers listeners an insightful journey into the minds of individuals who are reshaping their respective industries and their careers.

Starting point is 00:00:38 Good Skill serves as a beacon of inspiration, with a roster of interesting guests like independent journalist, media disruptor, and Cup of Justice co-host Mandy Matney. These conversations empower listeners seeking to make their mark in the world. Visit the ericbland.com website to learn more or listen wherever you get your podcasts. Hey there, EB here, your faithful Cup of Justice co-host. I am so excited to tell you about my new book, Anything But Bland. In this memoir, I share stories about my childhood, marked by bullying, my father's job loss, and the indomitable spirit that propelled me into the law and ultimately international recognition during the Alex Murdaugh murder trial. I believe in certain life principles that have helped me and helped others achieve success.

Starting point is 00:01:30 From the power of organization and a sense of urgency to the importance of truth, leadership and resilience. With vivid recollection from challenges and triumphs framing each chapter, success isn't about luck. It's earned through skill and hard work. Please visit TheErikBland.com to learn more about the book, Anything But Bland, is the manifesto for those seeking triumph over adversity and a guide for anyone aspiring to reach their full potential. As y'all know, we are preparing for the Kaluchi trial and diving deep into newly acquired

Starting point is 00:02:10 evidence in the Scott's By-V and J.P. Miller cases. While you will have to wait until next week for True Sunlight 101, we want to share a full Lunashark Premium episode that is normally reserved for our amazing premium members, but also for better understanding so many of the stories that we cover. Today, our incredible Luna Shark librarian, Kate Thomas, and our producer Sam Berlin are breaking down a complex legal subject with our premium dive number 7, Red Flags on Divorce and Challenging Flaws and Legislation. with our premium dive number 7, red flags on divorce and challenging flaws in legislation. We believe in empowering you to understand your rights. This is not legal advice,

Starting point is 00:02:52 but it is a crucial starting point. You know we dive into some truly heartbreaking cases, and the story of Micah Francis and Sarah Lynn Colucci have really stuck with Liz and me. It makes you wonder, doesn't it, would Micah and or Sarah be alive today if the laws were different and if it was easier for them to leave their husbands? Like David's Corruption Watch List's best sound bites, Girl Talk with Liz and Me, and all of the other great premium guys with Sam, Kate, and our other contributors, we keep our Lunashark Premium members engaged, informed, and entertained as we tackle tough topics. Please consider joining Premium today by clicking the link in the description and please use

Starting point is 00:03:39 promo code TSP100 to get your first month as a Soak Up the Sun member absolutely free. Lunashark.Supercast.com, promo code TSP 100. I hope y'all enjoy this episode and more importantly, share it with someone who needs it. We hope to hear some new voices in the Lunashark Premium community soon. So buckle up everyone, Let's dive in. And this is David, welcoming you to another Lunashark Premium Dive. Mandy and I agreed that my voice on this introduction

Starting point is 00:04:17 could prove powerful, as we both believe that more men should be standing up and speaking out in support of empowering women. As you know, we've been digging deep into some truly heartbreaking cases, and the story of Mica Francis has really stayed with Mandy and Liz, Beth, Kate, Sam, Jamie, and myself, the whole team. It makes me wonder, would Mica still be here today if the laws were different? That question, that gnawing what if, is exactly what we're diving into today. Because what we've uncovered about the legal landscape surrounding divorce in this country,

Starting point is 00:04:52 especially right here in our backyard in South Carolina, North Carolina, and Georgia, is honestly shocking. This isn't just about paperwork and court dates. As you've heard with Micah, and as Laura Richards so powerfully explained in Cup of Justice 86 with Mandy, these outdated laws, with their long separation periods and complicated requirements,

Starting point is 00:05:15 can trap people, but most often women, in dangerous situations, especially when abuse is involved. That time has been studied and can be the most perilous for a woman's physical safety. Kate Thomas, our resident librarian at Lunashark, is breaking down this complex legal web. Kate has done some incredible research. She's going to walk us through the ins and outs of divorce laws in these three states,

Starting point is 00:05:43 highlighting just how arbitrary and frankly harmful they can be. Now we know this isn't always an easy conversation. Divorce, separation, and abuse are heavy topics, but at Lunashark, we believe in empowering women and everyone to understand their rights and make informed decisions. This episode is not legal advice, of course,

Starting point is 00:06:05 but it's a crucial starting point to understanding the system and, hopefully, recognizing when that system is failing people like Micah. We're about to take a hard look at why getting out of a marriage in some states is made way too difficult and, at times times downright dangerous. Let's dive in. Would Micah Francis or other women still be alive today if divorce laws were different? To answer that question, we need to review the demise of Micah and JP Miller's marriage. Micah first filed for divorce from JP on October 9, 2023, citing adultery. In her filing, she stated that she, quote, believes the defendant husband has and is currently engaging in acts of adultery with women, end quote, along with other concerns for her safety. However, that divorce filing was

Starting point is 00:07:07 dismissed four months later on February 13, 2024. Really curious timing for a dismissal. Remember, Micah had been hospitalized against her will, with JP stating she was in terrible mental health. her will, with JP stating she was in terrible mental health. Documents suggest she was released from the mental health hospital the day prior, on February 12. Even more curiously, just 10 days later, JP filed for divorce on February 23, 2024, claiming they had been separated since February 12th. His case, however, was dismissed only 19 days later, on March 12th. Wow, talk about whiplash for Micah.

Starting point is 00:07:54 Then, on April 15th, 2024, Micah filed for separate maintenance and support, this time without citing adultery. We'll discuss in further detail what separate maintenance and support is, but it's a legal option to file before the one year separation requirement is fulfilled for a divorce. Court documents show that JP was served with a separate maintenance and support paperwork on April 25,, 2024 at 5.38 p.m., just two days before Micah's death. Going back a month on March 11th, 2024, Micah had also filed for a restraining order against

Starting point is 00:08:38 JP in Surfside Beach Magistrate Court. In her complaint, she documented multiple harassing texts and emails from him, razors planted in her tires, and a tracker hidden on her car. Yet, because South Carolina law required her case to go through family court because they were still married, not magistrate court, her request was denied. The multiple police reports Micah had filed against JP detailing his harassment, as Mandy and Liz have covered in many True Sunlight episodes, paint a chilling picture of a woman desperately trying to protect herself. Hospital studies from the National Library of Medicine show that the 6 to 12 months leading

Starting point is 00:09:25 up to a divorce are considered the most dangerous period for individuals in abusive situations. Women with younger children experienced elevated risks of physical violence shortly before divorce and remained at a higher risk of menace than women without children for a year after divorce. Micah would most definitely fall into this category of elevated health risk, and the system failed her at every turn. According to Micah's sister, Sierra Francis, in an affidavit, Micah was, quote, hopeful for her life

Starting point is 00:10:05 after divorcing J.P. Miller. She was even making plans to travel back to Kenya for missionary work and possibly even move there. Sierra even stated in that same affidavit that Micah, quote, expressed to me that she was fearful that she would not make it to the divorce and that her life would be taken from her."

Starting point is 00:10:28 Micah was making plans for her future and clearly wanted to move away from JP and their marriage. Back to the original question, if South Carolina's divorce laws weren't so outdated, would Micah Francis still be alive today? Chances are, yes. My name is Kate Thomas, and I'm the librarian for Lunashark Media. So today, with producer Sam Berlin, we're diving into the laws surrounding divorce, focusing on South Carolina, North Carolina, and Georgia, where many of our listeners are based.

Starting point is 00:11:12 But don't worry if you're in another state. We'll also provide resources to help you find information specific to your location. A quick but important note. This episode is not a substitute for legal advice, and we are not legal professionals. So, think of this as a starting point, an opportunity to gather knowledge. If you're considering divorce, consulting a qualified attorney in your state, particularly one specializing in family law, is crucial to protecting your rights and interests. We're also dedicating part of this episode to those experiencing abuse, as well as those

Starting point is 00:11:56 who want to support a loved one in an abusive situation but don't know where to start. It's natural to want to step in and fix things. Trust me, I get it. But sometimes the best help isn't immediate intervention. It's understanding the right steps to take. Let's get started. In 2023, Time Magazine published an article focused on divorce.

Starting point is 00:12:25 Grieve-Leave founder Rebecca Feingloss and journalist Sophia Lorenzi wrote, quote, What we found was striking. Divorce in the U.S. is governed by an arbitrary constellation of policies that impede the freedom to end a marriage and have a disproportionately harmful impact on women." Their article titled, America Makes It Too Hard and Dangerous to Get Divorced, discusses how difficult it is to pursue a divorce in many states and what advocates have been doing to update the laws. And that is exactly what Mandy and Liz have been shouting to the world for the last 10 months.

Starting point is 00:13:07 Seven states require couples to live separately before filing for divorce. North Carolina and South Carolina have a mandatory period of one year before filing, while Delaware, Louisiana, Montana, Vermont, and Virginia require six months separation before a divorce can be initiated. Some states also include a cooling off period in their divorce laws, requiring a set amount of time between the filing for divorce and the final divorce decree, which can be a risky time for abuse victims. So why are the separation or cooling off periods dangerous?

Starting point is 00:13:52 Especially where abuse is present, separation and cooling off periods increase the time the victim is connected to the abuser. Laura Richards, a leading expert in coercive control and advocate for harsher coercive control laws, spoke with Mandy in Cup of Justice episode 86 about why women go back to their abusers. So is there a particular case in your career that you remember, wow, this is a textbook case of coercive control, like a light bulb moment? Or was it just a bunch of cases collectively and then you were researching coercive control and saying this all comes together and this all makes sense?

Starting point is 00:14:39 There were a number of cases. I mean, I still remember the first domestic violence murder review that I did of a young woman called Christine Boswell. And she had two children and she kept going back to the perpetrator because he kept, I call it the war of attrition. He made it so miserable for her when she left and so unpredictable that she ended up going back to him because she said, in a sense sense it was better to be with him and the unpredictability would lessen and therefore she felt that she was somehow safer to stay with him. And I kept hearing that same sort of theme being brought up by women that it actually got worse when they left. And so separation, I understood it for me in the research and all the cases that it was a high risk factor.

Starting point is 00:15:28 And then seeing this spider's web, asking the right questions about how and why in terms of what was going on prior to the murder, of what made her go back, made me realize that this coercive and controlling behavior, this level of subordination, the brainwashing, the grooming, everything that had gone into eroding the woman's agency and her autonomy and her confidence. But it was also wider than that. And I kept seeing actually that the systems were backing up the abuser. Moral of the story, the longer a victim is associated with their abuser, the higher the risk violence could happen.

Starting point is 00:16:11 Compared to getting married, 18 states require a waiting period between getting a marriage license and actually getting married. And of those 18 states, the longest timeframe is five days. The waiting periods were meant to prevent impulsive decisions. So why is the timeline to divorce so much longer? Yes, divorce affects more than just the two people getting married with children often involved. You can easily get into marriage,

Starting point is 00:16:42 but getting out is a whole different ballgame. The difference between how quickly someone can get married versus how long it takes to leave a marriage raises questions about autonomy and personal freedom. These laws, while often framed as protective measures, can trap people in marriages they wish or need to leave, especially in cases of abuse or financial coercion. But what about annulments? The American Bar Association defines annulment as, quote, a court ruling that a marriage was never valid, end quote. They are much harder to prove than divorce, so annulments are very rare. Reasons for getting an annulment include fraud or misrepresentation.

Starting point is 00:17:27 The ABA lists examples to include, quote, one person may not have disclosed to the other a prior divorce, a criminal record, an infectious disease, or an inability to engage in sex or have children. The annulment may also be granted in cases involving bigamy, incest, or marriage to an underage person." Bigamy is defined as marrying someone while already being legally married to another person. For example, you cannot legally enter a new marriage if your divorce from a previous spouse is not finalized, as marriage is considered a contractual and legal agreement. What happens during divorce proceedings?

Starting point is 00:18:12 Either between a settlement or a judge's order after a trial, there are a handful of decisions that need to be made. In regards to children, decisions must be made as to who has legal and physical custody of their children and monthly child support. For assets and debts, it needs to be decided what happens to the estranged couple's house, cars, bank accounts, investments, retirement accounts, and any outstanding debt. Spousal support also needs to be determined before a final decree can be issued. How long does a divorce take? It really all depends on the divorcing couple and the state they are filing in. We've all heard of the messy celebrity divorces that can take years and years to resolve, but some can

Starting point is 00:19:02 occur in less than 60 days if both parties agree to the settlement offer and peacefully participate in the divorce process. Each state has its own requirements for how long you need to live in the state before filing for divorce. But the good news is that no state requires you to have been married in the same state you file for divorce in. In fact, the U.S. Constitution's Full Faith and Credit Clause ensures all states honor and recognize another state's records and court decisions, which includes marriages and divorces.

Starting point is 00:19:41 In recent years, some states with antiquated laws have seen bills introduced to update their divorce laws, but there is still a significant amount of work and advocacy to be done. One side of the argument says waiting periods help preserve families, but the other side says there needs to be safe access to divorce without unnecessary legal obstacles. There are many different types of divorce around the country, but it is important to note that types and definitions vary based on the state. Here's a really quick rundown of some of the different types. Contested versus uncontested divorce, pro se divorce, default divorce, fault vs. no fault divorce,

Starting point is 00:20:30 mediated divorce, and collaborative divorce. These really do vary around the country, so we'll dive deeper into these definitions at another time. When I look back at my younger self, I remember the feeling of being bullied and disrespected. I remember hating that feeling. And I remember the day that I resolved to never let it happen again. When I founded Bland Richter with my partner Ronnie Richter, we committed to build a firm that demanded respect and that would fight the powerful on behalf of clients who felt powerless.

Starting point is 00:21:06 We stand tall against the largest law firms in the state, the country, and the entire world, and we've remained true to the commitment not to be pushed around. Tenacious representation, proven results. We are Bland-Richter. Learn more about what we do and who we are by visiting blandrichter.com. That's B-L-A-N-D-R-I-C-H-T-E-R.com. South Carolina could quite seriously be one of the worst states to get a divorce in. There are two types of divorce, no fault and fault, as we've heard Mandy, Liz and E.B. discuss a handful of times on Cup of Justice episodes, episode 82 especially. If you haven't heard their discussions or want a refresher, we're going to review South Carolina divorce laws. or want a refresher, we're going to review South Carolina divorce laws. A no-fault divorce requires a one-year separation period before the couple can file for

Starting point is 00:22:11 divorce. This most likely ends up with one spouse moving out of the shared home. It is also important to note that if the estranged couple reconcile, even if it's for less than a day, the 365-day separation must start over. The purpose of this waiting period is to allow time for possible reconciliation, but in reality, it often serves as a significant barrier to those needing to leave a marriage. But what does no fault mean? It means you are not placing

Starting point is 00:22:47 blame on your spouse for the divorce. Instead, it simply acknowledges that the marriage has broken down due to irreconcilable differences without the need to prove wrongdoing by either party. Also in South Carolina, the court requires a corroborating witness that will put on record that the estranged couple have in fact lived separately for 12 months before filing for divorce. This witness must have knowledge of your situation and will give sworn testimony to the court. Liz referenced her experiences in Couple Justice episode 82.

Starting point is 00:23:28 You're trying to get a divorce in South Carolina. You have to live away from your spouse for it. So let's just say this. Let's say you want to go for the fall. Not only live, but no sexual relations. If you guys are- Cannot have sexual relations. You know, trying to talk it out and reconcile or whatever. Or you have a night where you make a bad choice and you... Right. That's the thing.

Starting point is 00:23:51 You have to have somebody testify. If you had a relations with the person that you're married to, the clock starts over. And you're like, oh, well, why don't you just lie about it? They don't need to know. You have to literally get a third party to testify that you have not been intimate with your spouse for the past 12 months. It is mortifying. It is, to even ask a friend to do that, to have to go on the record about something that they may or may not have any sort of knowledge about. And in my case, I wanted to be like, I wanted this private, like I wasn't trying to get all this stuff out there. And don't have sex, by the way, during the time when you're going through a divorce,

Starting point is 00:24:29 don't meet somebody and have sex or you'll get nailed for adultery because you're still married. Right. It's awful, Mandy. It's awful. And I'm telling you, like, I had the best case scenario in terms of I had money, I had a spouse who wasn't horrible to me. I had you know, I I had the best case scenario and it is horrible and it's embarrassing and it's expensive and Even under the best case scenario where I had a spouse who wasn't he was not bad to me Really? I mean I can pick it apart. But like when you look at like what Micah went through with JP, he was nothing like that. When you look at that and look at, and I see what I

Starting point is 00:25:11 still had to go through, the pressure, the stress. So just people out there with South Carolina laws and how you have to do this sort of like perfect clean escape from your husband, that's one thing. But then now let's add a husband who doesn't want you to leave and what they can do in terms of using their power, their money, their position, whatever it takes, you are in such a powerless position. She was at a zero when it came to power. And that's what's so heartbreaking about her death. They just want to say this. It's just baffling. I had no idea that that's how you have to get a divorce in South Carolina until Liz told me that. And that's mortifying and horrifying. And who made these rules?

Starting point is 00:25:57 Who made these rules? And who benefits from them? Let's think about that. Oh, God. It's so funny. Men. Men did. And they made it extremely hard for women to get away. That's what I mean. Granted, I am sure there's many scenarios of men trying to divorce women who are abusive.

Starting point is 00:26:19 I'm sure that happens as well. But it's a bad, it's a really, really bad system that makes it so difficult to divorce someone. I remember years ago when David and I started like very, very early on in our relationship. David's initial view of marriage was I don't want the government involved in my relationship. And I was like, whatever, I'll convince you. And I didn't. But then you see the tax break. Yeah, and then you see the tax break. But again, I've programmed my entire life to want a marriage

Starting point is 00:26:58 and to want a big wedding and to want all these things. I, like every other little girl, thought about our wedding for a very long time. Never really thought about the government being involved and never thought about actually getting out of a marriage and what that entailed. A fault divorce, which removes the time of separation requirement,

Starting point is 00:27:22 does require you to prove one of four grounds. They include adultery, desertion for a period of one year, physical cruelty, or habitual drunkenness. This includes the use of narcotic drugs. There is a 90-day minimum between filing for divorce and the court finalizing the fault divorce. But knowing how congested the courts are, the 90-day minimum is not guaranteed. Uncontested divorces will proceed more quickly, but if anything is contested, as often happens when abuse is involved, the divorce can take much longer to finalize. Proving one or more of the grounds for a fault divorce can be time-consuming and expensive for the plaintiff's spouse.

Starting point is 00:28:10 To successfully prove fault, the burden of evidence falls on the accuser, meaning they must gather documentation, secure witnesses, or even hire a private investigator to substantiate claims of adultery, abuse, desertion, or substance addiction. This process can require court fees, legal representation, and extensive time and litigation, all of which can be overwhelming for a spouse who is already in a vulnerable situation. For many victims of abuse, these obstacles can make a fault divorce nearly impossible, forcing them to file for a no-fault divorce instead. Because again, no fault divorce requires a full year of separation before filing, many survivors find themselves trapped in the very situation they are trying to escape. Either because they lack the financial means to move out,

Starting point is 00:29:06 fear retaliation from their abuser, or risk losing custody battles due to power imbalances in the legal system. In essence, South Carolina's outdated divorce laws don't just make it difficult to leave a toxic marriage, they actively endanger those who need to leave the most. It's not all bad news though. In South Carolina, it does not require both parties to agree to a divorce. Only one partner has to say, I want a divorce, for the legal proceeding to move forward. This means that even if one partner refuses to

Starting point is 00:29:46 acknowledge the breakdown of the marriage or actively tries to prevent the divorce from happening, they cannot legally stop it. It is also important to note that legal separation is not recognized in South Carolina. One law firm in South Carolina notes on their website, quote, if you start dating while you are still married, there is an argument for adultery against you. This could work against you in terms of equitable division of assets, as it is a factor the court considers. More importantly, if you are a candidate for spousal support or alimony, even the perception that you are dating or having sexual relations while you are still married could bar you

Starting point is 00:30:32 from receiving spousal support or alimony." Essentially, dating while in the separation or divorce process can hinder your ability to equitably share your assets with your partner or equitable portion of spousal support. There is, however, a legal process called separate maintenance and support that gives spouses an opportunity to address issues like custody of children, child support, spousal support, and property division. Please note, this is not a divorce proceeding and will not dissolve the marriage. This only helps clarify separation-related issues during the one-year time period.

Starting point is 00:31:16 Going back to Micah's case, she was able to file for divorce without one-year separation in October 2023 because she was filing a fault divorce citing grounds of adultery on JP's part. But in April 2024, Micah was only able to file a separate maintenance and support because she listed their separation date as February 6, 2024. In COJ 82, Liz speaks of her personal experience with divorce in South Carolina. While she was in a better position financially to be able to leave, it was still way too difficult. Let's talk a little bit about what Micah was facing because I think it's important for people out there to know

Starting point is 00:32:05 how South Carolina does divorce. And as your resident expert, I'm the only one of the three of us who has had a divorce in South Carolina. Congratulations. Thank you very much. We're going to talk about this. So the first thing is that you cannot physically live together for a year in a no-fault divorce, which means you have a choice. Your first choice is you and you think when you're at that point, you're like, I'm going to go for a fault divorce. And there's three grounds you can get a fault divorce if there's abuse physical or what have you abuse an affair or there's addiction, habitual drunkenness, right, habitual drunkenness or some sort of drug addiction. But here's what it is.

Starting point is 00:32:48 So a fall divorce means that you can get it on the fast track, which is basically six months versus a year, right? It means that you need a lawyer. So a retainer for a divorce lawyer when I was doing this was about $2,500. It's about $5,000 to $10,000 now. Five to ten, great. A lot of money.

Starting point is 00:33:11 Where does that come from? Because in addition to that, you physically cannot be in the home. So we were looking at the apartment. So when I got an apartment, it was much less, but a one-bedroom apartment where Micah was living was about $1,400. I looked this up. So she would not only have to have first and last month or whatever the deposit is, she would have to have a car in her name.

Starting point is 00:33:35 Even though I was lucky in that I was financially able to do everything very neatly in my divorce when I decided to leave my husband, I had put my name on a waiting list for an apartment. I had the money, it was fine, I could get the house, the apartment furnished, whatever. I was very, very lucky. So with Micah, and with me, even with those circumstances, when I decided to tell my husband, I told him in a public place so that there would not be any sort of outburst. And one of the first things he said to me was what car are you going to drive because you don't own any cars. The cars were in his name. So you know, it's not something you think about because you're just like, it's my car. That's the one I drive. So he and he didn't, you know, to his credit, he did not fall through that.

Starting point is 00:34:22 I got to drive. I got to keep driving the car even though it was in his name. But that was where he went, because he was feeling defensive. It was the only power he held over me in that moment. And he cashed in on it and said, so when you look at Micah, we saw that she had two cars registered to her. Well, it appears that she was driving neither of them.

Starting point is 00:34:42 It looks like she was driving a car that belonged to her roommate, in fact, when she was found dead in North Carolina. So that's a pattern you can see through the police reports just how those cars were something that was leveraged. He took the car when she went into the hospital when he involuntarily had her committed involuntarily. He used whatever little piece of power and that's a little piece of power. Going back to the Times article, the authors wrote, quote, and because South Carolina's

Starting point is 00:35:13 one-year separation period is written into its constitution, any changes would require voters to approve an amendment, an effort which has failed in the past." It's not just a law, but it's written into its constitution. Wow. I found an article in the South Carolina Historical Magazine from 1997 that opens up with the statement, quote, At the dawn of the 20th century, South Carolina held the distinction of being the only state that did not allow divorce. Not only did South Carolina lack statutory authority for divorce, but the 1895 state constitution includes a specific prohibition. Divorces from the bonds of matrimony shall not be allowed in this state." The fault grounds for divorce were amended into the state's constitution to

Starting point is 00:36:13 include adultery, desertion, physical cruelty, and habitual drunkenness in 1949. In 2019, legislation was introduced to add illegal use of drugs and emotional abuse as fault grounds. The 2019 bill was co-sponsored by Mandy Powers Norrell, a name long-time listeners of our shows will recognize from COJ episode 78. Unfortunately, H.3231 was classified as a dead bill in September 2020 after passing in the House, but no action was taken in the Senate Judiciary Committee. On February 26, 2024, the House Judiciary Committee voted to advance a proposed amendment, H.3169, that would shorten the 365-day separation period

Starting point is 00:37:11 down to 150 days. 43 days later, on April 4th, the bill was recommitted back to the House Judiciary Committee, where it still sits today. The Washington Times article, which is linked in the description, gives a little history lesson on no-fault divorces in South Carolina.

Starting point is 00:37:31 In 1969, no-fault divorces were finally legalized with a required separation period of... three years. It took 10 years before it was shortened to one year. South Carolina's divorce laws have clearly created obstacles since forever and it continues to be one of the most challenging places to legally end a marriage. North Carolina doesn't seem to be much better than South Carolina for divorce proceedings. There are only two grounds for divorce in North Carolina. Separation for one year or incurable insanity of one spouse and living separately and apart

Starting point is 00:38:21 for three consecutive years, including at the time where the petition is filed. According to the North Carolina Judicial Branch's website, it states a couple, quote, are eligible to file for divorce, also called an absolute divorce, only after being separated for at least a year and a day. This means that you must have been living in different homes and that at least one of you intended that the separation be permanent during that time." Like South Carolina, one positive aspect is that only one spouse needs to seek

Starting point is 00:39:00 a divorce for it to be granted. Both parties do not have to agree for the process to move forward. But what about incurable insanity as grounds for a divorce? That includes being separated from your spouse for at least three years due to mental health institutionalization or a judge declaring them insane at least three years prior. Multiple doctors are required to testify that one spouse's insanity is incurable. So basically, this really isn't a feasible option. It's just easier to use the one-year separation option instead.

Starting point is 00:39:41 Unlike South Carolina, in North Carolina, to prove the year's separation, the estranged couple can use bills, rental agreements, or other documents instead of a corroborating witness. Also, unlike South Carolina, spouses can date during the separation period, according to a North Carolina lawyer's website. North Carolina has a unique separation option called divorce from bed and board. A divorce from bed and board is similar to a legal separation and it may be a way to protect your rights or to get child or spousal support until you can get an absolute divorce in court,

Starting point is 00:40:24 but it doesn't actually end the marriage. This is a fault-based action usually brought by an injured spouse to get the court to order the other spouse out of the home. But if a divorce from bed and board is granted, you still have to wait 12 months before filing for an official divorce. For a divorce from bed and board, you must establish at least one of the following fault grounds. Abandonment, maliciously being thrown out of the house, cruel treatment that endangers your life such as physical abuse, he or she makes your life miserable such as emotional abuse, abuse of alcohol or drugs to the point where you cannot tolerate living with your

Starting point is 00:41:12 spouse or adultery. On April 6, 2023, a bill, S-703, was introduced into the North Carolina Senate to reduce the required separation period from one year to six months. It also includes a provision to waive the separation period if the divorce is uncontested, meaning both parties agreed to divorce and settlement, and there are no minor children involved. It also allows for cohabitation during the separation time due to financial hardship.

Starting point is 00:41:49 It is currently sitting in the Committee of Judiciary. There is also an identical bill introduced into the North Carolina House H657 on April 17, 2023. Also, like the Senate bill, the House bill is also still sitting in committee. Although North Carolina has introduced recent bills to reform its divorce laws, there is still considerable work to be done to advance them toward becoming law. Until then, North Carolina also continues to be one of the more challenging states in which to navigate the divorce process. While South Carolina and North Carolina laws brought doom and gloom,

Starting point is 00:42:36 Georgia feels a little more equitable. Thankfully in Georgia, there is no wait time to file for divorce. Once you decide you want to file, you can immediately as long as you meet the residency requirements. One spouse must be a resident of Georgia for a minimum of six months before filing for divorce. Georgia does offer both no-fault and fault divorces. From the GeorgiaLegalAid.org website, fault grounds can include but are not limited to before the marriage, partners closely related by blood or marriage, mental incapacity, impotency, force, menace, duress, or fraud in obtaining the marriage, pregnancy of the wife by another

Starting point is 00:43:26 man which is unknown to the husband. After the marriage include adultery by either parties, willful and continued desertion by either parties for the term of one year, if either party goes to prison for two or more years for offenses like murder, involuntary manslaughter, rape or embezzlement, habitual intoxication or drunkenness, cruel treatment, incurable mental illness, and habitual drug addiction. One question I saw during my research is, if I have a common law marriage, do I still have to file for divorce? Georgia used to have common law marriages but no longer recognizes any common law marriage that was formed after January 1, 1997. So, yes, if you created a common law marriage in Georgia before January 1, 1997, your marriage is still

Starting point is 00:44:27 valid and you must get a divorce to end your marriage. Georgia also requires both parties in a divorce to attend a divorcing parent seminar where there are children involved under the age of 18 under Georgia's Superior Court rules. The purpose is to educate parents on the effects of divorce on children, how to reduce or handle conflict and create a positive co-parenting experience. The requirements for completing the seminar vary by county. One county has a four-hour educational program where another has a two-hour

Starting point is 00:45:07 program. Some are available online while others are in-person required. For the timeline, if everyone is an active participant and agrees on a settlement, it can take 31 days. If one spouse refuses to participate at all, it can take up to 60 days. Also important, take into consideration the court docket availability to schedule hearings. One law firm in Georgia says a realistic timeline for an uncontested divorce where everyone agrees can take 6 to 12 months from filing to final divorce decree But if there is contention or disagreement, there is no timeline for the length of divorce When beginning your search for a divorce lawyer, most people instinctively turn to Google.

Starting point is 00:46:07 Many law firms provide a frequently asked question section or blog post around the topic of divorce or separation, which can be helpful starting points. Make sure you are confirming the law firm has offices in your state to ensure the information is correct for your location. Many states have state-run legal aid websites. As a librarian, I would trust these as a starting point for information. Another website I found helpful as a starting point is womenslaw.org. According to their About page, quote, womenslaw.org was founded in Brooklyn, New York,

Starting point is 00:46:49 in February 2000 by Elizabeth Martin, with the help of a group of lawyers, teachers, advocates, and web designers who were interested in seeing the power of the internet help survivors of domestic abuse. End quote. The site provides legal information The power of the internet helps survivors of domestic abuse." The site provides legal information and resources for all 50 states, making it a valuable tool no matter where you live. Libraries can also be a valuable resource, especially if you are in an abusive situation

Starting point is 00:47:21 and need a discreet way to access information. Many libraries have partnerships with legal aid organizations, law schools, and local legal practices that offer support for community members navigating legal challenges. First, let's define abuse because we want to be clear on what abuse is. A clear definition of abuse helps us recognize abusing behaviors including subtle forms of control and manipulation. We also want to validate the experiences of abuse victims. What you experience is very real and not normal relationship issues.

Starting point is 00:48:08 Finally, knowing what abuse is can empower you to set boundaries and recognize red flags to hopefully prevent abusive situations before they escalate. The National Domestic Violence Hotline defines abuse as, quote, a pattern of behaviors used by one partner to maintain power and control over another partner in an intimate relationship, end quote. Manipulation and control behaviors can present in many ways including physical, emotional, and or financial controls. Many times the abuse will present in multiple forms.

Starting point is 00:48:52 RAIN which stands for Rape, Abuse, and Incest National Network, a leading sexual abuse resource states, quote, sexual violence in a relationship is rarely an isolated incident. It often occurs alongside other forms of abusive behavior, including physical and emotional abuse, end quote. Laura Richards defines coercive control as, quote, a strategic pattern of behavior designed to exploit, control, create dependency, and dominate. The victim's everyday existence is micromanaged and her space for action, as well as potential

Starting point is 00:49:34 as a human being, is limited and controlled by the abuser." Signs of abuse can include, but are not limited to to cutting the victim off from friends and family and isolating them from a possible support system. The perpetrator being jealous of time spent away from them, insults towards the victim and telling them they are worthless, especially in front of others. Threats of harm to the victim, their children, family members and pets, destruction of property, pressuring victim into doing things they normally would not do, and control of finances. Going back to Cup of Justice episode 86 with Laura Richards,

Starting point is 00:50:22 she believes JP Miller fits the profile of a coercive control perpetrator. And then of course, when you start to look on social media, you would see on Facebook that she had done a number of videos where she clearly was upset about things. And so that was a red flag for me when you look at other images of her where she looked so carefree and then some of these videos where she seemed very burdened with troubles and she talked about domestic abuse and she talked about what God would think. Would it be better for someone to live without the abuse and the abuser? And I felt that she was putting out a message there. So these red flags, you know, just unfortunately continue to accumulate because it was sounding to

Starting point is 00:51:13 me once I realized when she got married to him, well, she met him when she was very young and he was much older. So there's a power imbalance right from the start, Mandy, and that's what I look for. Was there a power imbalance? Is there coercive control? And for her to be, I think, 15 when she met him in the church setting, I wondered whether he started to pay her attention from early on. I still don't know in detail how much attention he paid her, But she was married before and then she ends up marrying him at 23 and he had five children. So the fact that she's 23, I mean, you're still very young at 23 and she's walking into this stepmother role of five children, that's a huge undertaking, a huge power imbalance. And then it seemed to me that things started to unravel

Starting point is 00:52:08 in that, you know, hearing that she had been sectioned in a mental health institution in 2022. Again, I wondered what preceded that. And then I heard your episode with Charlotte talking about a big argument and her leaving him, going to stay with her sister, and then him sending countless messages threatening her. You know, listening to that interview that you did with her, and I'm so glad that Charlotte spoke out, you got a real sense about how he was using Charlotte. He was saying that it was for accountability, but it was for manipulation, in my opinion, that he was using her to gang up against Micah, but also to threaten Micah and to say he was going to go round to the sister's home. He had six guns because he got a pardon on the offence where he ran over a woman and he requested that

Starting point is 00:53:06 pardon and you covered that in your episodes. But that was a huge red flag, that action and that behaviour. Him then having six guns and threatening to go there armed and ready. I mean, I had chills listening to that, of Charlotte describing what he was saying, and that Charlotte was aware of it, but he was trying to twist the narrative to make himself look like the victim. When Micah, it seems to me, just wanted time out at that particular time in the relationship, had gone to her sister's to get some perspective and headspace and there he was threatening her and threatening her sister and the six-year-old boy who lived there. Well, that told me he was a man who was unstable, unhinged and potentially dangerous. And then when she's not giving him the reply

Starting point is 00:54:01 that he wants, I think he had sent her many messages trying to manipulate her into responding and she just said, why are you acting so crazy? He then says that he's going to put all her possessions into goodwill by 9am and that she has to do the right thing and be a godly wife and he's using all these different levers. So on the power and control wheel I can see all his tactics trying to manipulate and control her. That was a portion of Laura's answer to Mandy's question of what were JP's red flags. To hear Laura's whole answer, please go re-listen to Cup of Justice episode 86. The link will be in the description. It's an incredible episode

Starting point is 00:54:47 to help understand coercive control. What can you do if you believe you are a victim of abuse? As in Micah's case, the police weren't much help to her, but our hope is that not every police department is like that. It is important to get the abuse on record with the police. While they didn't take Micah's allegations seriously, Mandy and Liz have used those police reports to help shine light on JP's alleged abuse and work towards justice for Micah.

Starting point is 00:55:23 The National Domestic Violence Hotline also suggests keeping a journal of dates, time, description of what happened and how it made you feel. If you can take photos or seek medical care, please do. If you have been sexually assaulted, a sexual assault forensic exam or SAFE is so important. Create a safety plan. A safety plan is a practical step-by-step plan

Starting point is 00:55:55 to help you prepare to leave and what happens after you leave an abusive relationship. Having this prepared ahead of time is so important. In the heat of a crisis, you shouldn't try to plan for your escape. Having it all planned out ahead of time can help protect you and others involved. There are many websites that can help you build a safety plan and provide ways to keep that plan safe. We'll link some in the episode description. What can you do if you believe someone else is a victim of abuse? Starting a conversation

Starting point is 00:56:31 with an abuse survivor can be hard. It's possible they might not want to talk about it so it's important to not push them. They might be ashamed of their situation or are worried their abuser will find out. Gently let them know that you are always available to talk and that you want what's best for them. If they are ready to talk, here are a few suggestions from the National Domestic Violence Hotline. Acknowledge they are in a scary situation. Make sure they know that you are here to support them and the abuse they are experiencing is not their fault.

Starting point is 00:57:12 Be open to just listen and be non-judgmental. As hard as it will be, do not badmouth the abuser. Things you can offer to do to help them is create a safety plan or help them seek out legal assistance. If the survivor wants to report the abuse to law enforcement, offer to go with and support them. If you think the abuse victim is considering suicide, learn the warning signs. Most importantly of all, be patient. Depending on the length of the abuse and trauma, it can take a while for the survivor to open up to you and make the decision to leave. This is by no means an exhaustive list and

Starting point is 00:58:02 as always, we'll link some specific resources in the episode description. That was a lot to take in, but don't let it discourage you. If you are considering divorce or know someone who might benefit from learning the process, don't let the challenges overshadow the possibility of a better, happier, and healthier future. This is about taking steps to reclaim your life and your well-being. Lean on your support system.

Starting point is 00:58:34 As we discussed in the abuse resource section, there are people who care about you and want to help. Send the text, make the call, reach out, whether it's to a trusted friend, family member, or support system. You do not have to do this alone. And beyond your personal journey, there is also an opportunity to create change. Many divorce laws make the process unnecessarily difficult, particularly for those in abusive situations. If you believe these laws should be improved, take action. Reach out to your representatives and advocate for better, more accessible divorce laws. Your voice can make a difference, not just for you, but for others facing the same challenges.

Starting point is 00:59:38 One thing is crystal clear. Outdated divorce laws, especially those with lengthy mandatory separation periods, like the one-year separation we see mandated in South Carolina and North Carolina, can have devastating consequences, particularly for those trapped in abusive relationships. Micah had to jump through the dismissals of her filings and the denial of her restraining order due to legal technicalities, paint a stark picture of a system that in her case, tragically failed her. And I believe it was entirely preventable. Thank you so much to Kate Thomas for shedding light on this critical issue. And thank you all for listening to this Lunar Shark Premium Dive. We believe that by understanding these challenges, we can start to create real change and hopefully prevent further tragedies.

Starting point is 01:00:36 Until next time, stay tuned, stay pesky and stay in the sunlight. support provided by Sam Berlin. Learn more about our mission and membership at LunasharkMedia.com. Interruptions provided by Luna and Joe Pesky.

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