Murder In America - EP. 259 - MASSACHUSETTS: THE LINDSAY CLANCY CASE PT. 1: A SLOW DESCENT.

Episode Date: September 11, 2026

Lindsay Musgrove Clancy had everything going for her. She had a great childhood, loving family and friends, excelled in school and sports, and became one of the most beloved nurses in the labor and delivery unit at Massachusetts General Hospital. So how, then, did she become the most talked-about alleged child-killer of the 21st century? In part one of our three-part series, we dive deep into the beginnings of Lindsay Clancy, the birth of her children, Cora, Dawson, and Callan, and the descent into mental illness that ultimately led to their deaths.  - Sources:https://docs.google.com/document/d/1eTYeCoYyxm58DXXdoFbHQyWHlWbcH9iKGIefFcQToW4/edit?tab=t.y2yayotxnlcb Listen to our new show, "THE CONSPIRACY FILES"!: -Spotify - https://open.spotify.com/show/5IY9nWD2MYDzlSYP48nRPl -Apple Podcasts - https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-conspiracy-files/id1752719844 -Amazon/Audible - https://music.amazon.com/podcasts/ab1ade99-740c-46ae-8028-b2cf41eabf58/the-conspiracy-files -Pandora - https://www.pandora.com/podcast/the-conspiracy-files/PC:1001089101 -iHeart - https://iheart.com/podcast/186907423/ -PocketCast - https://pca.st/dpdyrcca -CastBox - https://castbox.fm/channel/id6193084?country=us - Stay Connected: Join the Murder in America fam in our free Facebook Community for a behind-the-scenes look, more insights and current events in the true crime world: https://www.facebook.com/groups/4365229996855701 If you want even more Murder in America bonus content, including ad-free episodes, come join us on Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/murderinamerica Instagram: http://instagram.com/murderinamerica/ Facebook:https://www.facebook.com/people/Murder-in-America-Podcast/100086268848682/ Twitter: https://twitter.com/MurderInAmerica TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@theparanormalfiles and https://www.tiktok.com/@courtneybrowen Feeling spooky? Follow Colin as he travels state to state (and even country to country!) investigating claims of extreme paranormal activity and visiting famous haunted locations on The Paranormal Files Official Channel: https://www.youtube.com/c/TheParanormalFilesOfficialChannel - (c) BLOOD IN THE SINK PRODUCTIONS 2026 Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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We go into great detail with every case that we cover and do our best to bring viewers even deeper into the stories by utilizing disturbing audio and sound effects. Trigger warnings from the stories we cover may include violence, rape, murder, and offenses against children. This podcast is not for everyone. You have been warned. Today's episode is one that has been all over the media. In 2023, news broke that a late labor and delivery nurse in Massachusetts had murdered her three young children with exercise bans. Afterwards, it was reported that she had slit her wrists and her throat and then jumped out of her second-story window trying to end her life. The mother in question, Lindsay Clancy, survived. However, her three children, Cora, Dawson, and Callan, tragically passed. And since her trial began,

this has been one of the most talked about controversial cases in modern history. As always, we wanted to give you every single detail of the case we could find. So it's a long one. This episode part one will be about the Clancy's life before the murders. Part two will be about the murders itself and what came after. And then finally, part three will be about Lindsay's trial. So this is the story of the Clancy family. I'm Courtney Brown and I'm Colin Brown and you're listening to Murder in America. I know this isn't our typical structure of an episode, but I wanted to to give an extra disclaimer before getting into this story. Firstly, we will be discussing topics of suicide, postpartum depression and anxiety, postpartum psychosis, and of course the murder

of three children who are the victims in this story. I also want to let everyone know that this episode in particular contains a lot of medical talk. We will discuss different disorders, medications, dosages, side effects, you name it. There's also a lot of back and forth regarding Lindsay's psychiatric care. And at times it might sound a little clinical. I went back and forth on whether or not I should simplify things, but I think telling the full story in its entirety is very important. Giving you day-by-day details of Lindsay's life, her medication, side effects, journal entries, and all the different doctor's appointments gives you a better idea of just how complicated this story is. So we are giving you everything. I also want to emphasize that I am not a doctor,

but I have done a ton of research on postpartum, not just for this case, but also while earning my bachelor's degree in psychology at the University of Texas. But again, even though I am educated on these topics, I am not an expert. And as always, please consult your doctor about all health-related topics discussed in this episode. Another thing I want to mention is that information continues to come out about this case every day. And while we tried our best to be as factual as possible, there's always a possibility that new information can come out, information that might contradict what you hear now. But the last disclaimer I want to put out there

is that I know that people have very strong opinions on this case. I have my opinions as well. But my main focus here is to tell you the facts, using information that has come out during Lindsay's trial. And I'm going to try my best to remain as unbiased as I can so that you can form your own opinions. But with that being said, let's get into it. Lindsay Marie Musgrove was born on August 11th, 1990 to Mike and Paula Musgrove in Wallingford, Connecticut.

Mike worked as a school photographer and Paula worked at Weight Watchers. Lindsay grew up alongside her older sister, Allison, in a quiet residential neighborhood on Pogmore Drive. The two sisters were extremely close. Wallingford, described as a solid, middle-class suburban town in south-central Connecticut, offered the kind of childhood many parents hoped for. Neighbors who knew one another, safe streets where kids could play outside, and a strong sense of community where everyone looked out for each other. Several neighbors described the Musgroves as wonderful people who were very nice. Lindsay attended the Lyman Hall High School and was very involved in extracurricular activities.

She participated in powder puff football and was part of the National Honor Society. She was known as reserved, friendly, and a strong athlete, excelling in both gymnastics and cheerleading. Her mother Paula said, She was a very good kid and an excellent student, very excellent student all through school. Lindsay also had a close-knit group of girlfriends, friends she spent a lot of time with, driving around on the weekends, having sleepovers and going to parties, and they all agreed that Lindsay was a sweet girl. One of those friends later told the New York Post that she had struggled with an eating disorder in high school

and often didn't bring lunch. But Lindsay would quietly save half of her own sandwich, claiming she was already full, making sure her friend had something to eat. Overall, Lindsay was a positive influence on people's lives. Her friend told the New York Post, quote, I don't know if she even realized what a positive impact she was having on me, but she just had this inherent nurturing nature, end quote. And because of that nurturing side, Lindsay knew exactly what she wanted to do with her life.

She wanted to pursue a career in health care. She was so sure of it, during her senior year of high school, she joined the health occupation students of America, an organization for students interested in health care professions. Lindsay even knew the field she wanted to be in. According to her friends, she always talked about one day working with babies. One high school friend stated, quote, being a nurse and mother was her life plan since high school,

and that always made perfect sense to me because taking care of people just came naturally to her, end quote. Lindsay graduated high school in 2007, and from there she enrolled in Quinepiac University in Connecticut, working towards a degree in biology. But in addition to her studies, she was also involved in the school's acrobatics and tumbling team. Lindsay was hardworking, intelligent,

and a high achiever regularly making the dean's list. In 2012, Lindsay graduated from Winnipeak, but her schooling wasn't over just yet. After sending out her applications, she was accepted into an accelerated nursing program at the MGH Institute of Health Professions in Boston, Massachusetts. The school was about two and a half hours away from her hometown. After making the move to Boston, Lindsay began settling into this new chapter.

As always, she worked really hard in school. But one of her biggest struggles was public speaking. It was later discovered that Lindsay actually tried out a few different medications while in nursing school. Prozac, Welbutrin, and Propranelaw. She took these to help with her fear of public speaking. But eventually, she found she didn't need the medication anymore. Lindsay seemed to be adjusting well to her new life. She even started making new friends, one being her roommate, Kristen Walton.

Like most roommates, Lindsay and Kristen spent a lot of time together, and in the spring of 2013, Kristen introduced Lindsay to her cousin, a man named Patrick Clancy. Immediately, there was a spark between them. Patrick Clancy was born on June 15, 1988. He grew up in a Catholic family on the south shore of Massachusetts. His mother, Sue Clancy, told the New Yorker that Pat had always been a gentle, calm, and level-headed child. Pat doesn't like to be angry, she said.

He doesn't like hostility. He's always been that type, since he was very little, to just give the benefit of the doubt. He attended a private All-Boy's Catholic high school where he was an average student. He admitted that he didn't care much for subjects like Greek mythology or Egyptian history, but he still won a citizenship award given to students who helped others. After high school, he studied business at Salve Regina University in Newport, Rhode Island, where he was captain of the sailing team. Then after college, he started working for a telecommunications company in Boston,

and it's around that time when his cousin introduced him to 23-year-old Lindsay Musgrove. The two went on their first date in May of 2013. Patrick took Lindsay to an area in South Boston, where they flew a kite together. Patrick said that it was love at first sight, the kind of feeling that you only see in the movies. Lindsay was the kind of girl that anyone would want to be with. Not only was she kind, smart, and beautiful, but she had big dreams for her life. At the time, she was about a year away from completing her nursing program, and she was so excited

about her future. For Patrick, she was exactly what he wanted in a partner, and the feelings were mutual. Lindsay's friends would later say that she didn't want to date just anyone. She wanted to find someone who was a, quote, good potential family man, and Patrick seemed to be just that. Now, the two were introduced in May of 2013, and within a few months, they were exclusively dating. By July of 2013, Patrick invited Lindsay to his family's Fourth of July party by the beach. On that warm summer day, Lindsay got to meet everyone important to him, and Patrick's family loved her. His sister Aaron would later say, quote, Lindsay was sweet, a little quiet, but just lovely, end quote.

Now, Lindsay and Patrick would later mark this day as a big milestone in their relationship. writing, quote, it was 95 degrees out, but we didn't care. We had so much fun, end quote. And from that day on, Lindsay was welcomed by Patrick's family with open arms. Around 2014, Lindsay completed her nursing program and began working as a labor and delivery nurse at Massachusetts General Hospital. Her coworkers described her as a ray of sunshine. Laura Sanders, a nurse who worked the night shift with Lindsay, said,

she is a great human being and you would be hard-pressed to hear anything but positive remarks about our dear sweet Lindsay. Lindsay wasn't the type of person to engage in drama or gossip. Her focus was always on her patience. It was clear to everyone that Lindsay had found her calling. Her co-worker said that she was always, balanced and calm. Her co-worker of seven years, Meg Hamp, called Lindsay, compassionate, kind, and dedicated. She said Lindsay often became emotional during births, overcome with how beautiful it was. But nursing is not an easy job. There are long shifts and late nights. Emergencies can arise at any moment. But even when things got stressful, Lindsay always maintained her composure and provided the best care for her patients. She brought a quiet,

calming presence to every room, helping anxious mothers feel supported. One of her patients, Shelby Oster, said that Lindsay was the best nurse I've ever had. She was my cheerleader through two and a half days of labor that ended with an emergency. emergency C-section. And that's just who she was, both at work and interpersonal life. One of Lindsay's co-workers was a woman named Andrea Henigan, and here's what she

had to say about the kind of nurse Lindsay was. Lindsay loved being a nurse and was excellent at it. It was a second degree for her to go to nursing school, and you could tell with Lindsay it was more of a calling that she really cared so deeply specifically about caring for pregnant women and women giving birth.

She was very attentive to all of her patients' needs. She was very smart, and mostly she was incredibly nurturing and caring. It seemed as if everything was falling into place for Lindsay. She had a career she had always dreamt of. She was making a difference in people's lives. And in September of 2015, she and Patrick decided to move in together, sharing an apartment in Quincy. It was a big step in their relationship, but unbeknownst to her, they were about to take an even bigger step. Just three months after moving in together,

on December 31, 2015, Patrick took Lindsay back to the area where they had their first date. They had dinner overlooking the water, and then they went on a walk through town. It was during that walk, beneath the Boston seaport skyline that Patrick got down on one knee and proposed. Lindsay, of course, said yes. From the beginning of this, their relationship, they both knew this was something special and they wanted to spend the rest of their lives together. In September of 2016, Lindsay and Patrick purchased their first home together in Waymouth, Massachusetts. Then on December 3, 2016, their friends and families all joined together in Southington,

Connecticut for their wedding. The ceremony was held at the Church of St. Dominic. Their reception was held at a nearby country club. It was decorated in silver and red for the upcoming Christmas holiday. It was the most beautiful day. On their wedding website, they reflected on their lives together. Lindsay wrote, It all started in the fine town of South Boston. Through his cousin and sister, Pat knew Lindsay was a special girl and only wanted to spend

more time with her. Lindsay secretly had a big crush on Pat, too. They then referenced their first date together and said, We've had fun ever since. After the wedding, the two flew to Hawaii for their honeymoon, and while there they purchased this wish jar. On little strips of paper, they each wrote down wishes for their lives together. Many of the things Lindsay wrote about had to do with her future children. She wished for healthy kids, successful kids, easy births.

Lindsay took that wish jar home after the honeymoon ended and it would sit in her nightstand for years to come. To anyone who knew the couple, it was clear they were in love. Patrick would later describe their marriage as wonderful, saying he felt lucky to have Lindsay in his life. They had a genuine partnership, the type of marriage filled with daily I Love Yous, morning hugs, and the feeling that they were to be. truly a team. At work, Lindsay doted on her husband. She constantly joked that she wanted, quote,

enough children to fill a baseball team, end quote. Everyone who knew Lindsay agreed that she was born to be a mother, and on December 24th, 2017, Christmas Eve, that dream became a reality with the birth of their first child, Cora Marie Clancy. Cora was actually named after the first baby girl, Lindsay had helped deliver at Mass General Hospital. But her birth with Cora was not easy. According to Patrick, Lindsay was in labor for a long time, and although she opted for an epidural, it was too late. There was significant tearing, and Lindsay lost a lot of blood, but she was also completely in love. When they brought Cora home, Lindsay was still physically depleted. Her recovery took longer than expected, but Lindsay was determined to be the best mother she could.

Patrick later said that the bond between her and Cora was natural and deep. It was as if Lindsay had fallen right into the role of motherhood with ease. Now after Cora's birth, Lindsay said she did experience some postpartum depression, but it didn't last very long. Overall, she was happy. But according to records, Lindsay did experience some anxiety when it came to Cora's health. Apparently, during a routine ultrasound, doctors found something abnormal. The issue later resolved on its own, but it left Lindsay with an underlying fear when it came to Cora's health. When she was a baby, Lindsay's nursing skills kicked in, and she often checked Cora's vials at home just to make sure she was okay. But I think that's pretty normal for first-time

moms. You don't know what to expect, and you're learning as you go. Now, Lindsay was on maternity leave for roughly 11 weeks. Patrick also had two weeks of paternity leave to help as much as he could, but as the time approached for her to return to work, she began experiencing anxiety. Lindsay didn't want to be separated from her infant, but in March of 2018, she returned to Mass General Hospital. Not wanting to overload herself, she eased back into it. Normally, Lindsay worked around 40 hours or more each week, but this time around, she started with just one 12-hour night shift a week, gradually increasing to about 20 hours per week. During this time, Patrick and Lindsay hired a babysitter to help with Cora and other household duties. Her name was Jen Shanahan, known to the family

is Miss Jen. Jen came to the house roughly 12 hours a week. Her main role was to care for Cora so that Lindsay could sleep after working overnight shifts at the hospital. But even after returning to work, Lindsay found it extremely difficult to be away from Cora. She stayed closely connected to her in every way she could. While working night shifts at the hospital, she would often check on Cora through the baby monitor, watching her sleep and sometimes sharing the images with her co-workers. On her breaks, she continuously pumped breast milk so she could keep nursing Cora, something she did for one year without incident. It was clear to everyone that Lindsay was a fantastic mother, and like most first-time moms,

she was always checking in on her little girl, making sure she was okay. In fact, one night while at work, Lindsay checked the baby monitor and saw that Cora was crying in her crib. Patrick was home at the time, so Lindsay called him to go check on her, but Patrick didn't pick up the phone. Before she knew it, 10 minutes had passed. Cora was still crying, and there was still crying, and there were still no sign of Patrick. Lindsay got worried, so worried. She actually called the police to perform a welfare check. Patrick later said he was taken aback when he found a police officer knocking on his door in the middle of the night. But I think this just goes to show how much she loved her baby. Lindsay was a new mother, and she was doing everything she could to care for her.

But the anxiety around Cora's health continued. In fact, around Cora's one-year checkup, Lindsay had become convinced that a blue vein on the bridge of Korah's nose was a sign of a gene mutation. She had religiously Googled the symptoms and even wrote this in a private Facebook group titled MTHR, understanding gene mutations and epigenetics. Okay, so I just ordered the genetics test from Maximize Genetics to test my one-year-old daughter because I learned that the blue vein across the bridge of her nose is a marker for the MTHFR mutation. If she ends up having the mutation, what do I do differently with her? Lindsay was doing everything in her power to make sure Cora was happy and healthy.

She was a very hands-on mother. She made up songs for Cora and took her to music classes. She was attentive and affectionate, always focused on making sure Cora felt loved and secure. From the beginning, motherhood seemed to come naturally for her, and things were looking up for the family. In July 2018, they purchased a new home at 47 Summer Street in Duxbury for 5,500. $100,000. The modest three-bedroom, one-and-a-half bathroom colonial-style home built in 1972 had been newly renovated and offered plenty of space for their family. It was a clear sign that they were building a successful life together, and just one year later, on September 30, 2019,

the family grew again with the birth of their second child, a son named Dawson William Clancy. As with Cora, Dawson's birth had also been extremely traumatic. Patrick testified that Dawson had been in a breach position during delivery, which caused significant bruising and tearing. Although the recovery was long and lasted much longer than the recovery from Cora's birth, Lindsay flourished during her second maternity leave. Patrick said her mood was good, and she did a great job balancing Dawson's care while also taking care of Cora, who was approaching her second birthday. After Dawson's birth, Lindsay got 14 weeks of maternity leave, which was three weeks longer than with Cora.

And in those beginning stages of postpartum, Lindsay seemed to be doing well. But looking back, Patrick said there was a period of time where Lindsay seemed a little off, manic even. She had these bursts of energy that lasted several days. But then around two months postpartum, when her maternity leave was coming to an end, Lindsay started to experience some anxiety at the thought of being separated from Dawson. Again, that is very normal with moms. and it's something Lindsay experienced in both pregnancy with both of her children. But this time around, her anxiety seemed to be worse, so much so that she decided to see a psychiatrist.

After talking with the doctor about her symptoms, they offered a prescription for the antidepressant, Zoloft. But Lindsay declined because she was still breastfeeding. Now, you can take antidepressants when breastfeeding, but like with anything, there is always a risk. And Lindsay didn't want to take that risk. Instead, she put her focus into exercise, a healthy diet, she started meditating. She even attended several therapy sessions. Now, the therapy didn't last long and she eventually stopped going. Patrick said it was because she didn't really vibe with her therapist.

But luckily, Lindsay's postpartum symptoms eventually resolved on their own. In late December 2019, Lindsay returned back to work at Mass General, easing back into it at just 20 hours a week, just like she did after Corr's birth. At home, Ms. Jen stayed on as the family's babysitter, keeping the same schedule. Lindsay often left detailed lists for Miss Jen to complete for the day, bottle feedings, meal preparation, and laundry. Now, in May of 2020, Patrick took a job with Microsoft and was able to continue working remotely, something he had been doing since 2018. He had a little office in the basement where he would work while the children were being watched by Miss Jen.

At Mass General, Lindsay's co-worker said that during her breaks, she would often check in on the kids, watching them sleep in their cribs through the video monitor. She continued pumping her breast milk. It was clear to everyone that she loved her children. She was always telling her co-worker stories about them. Nurse Erica Sevieri later said, quote, She lived and breathed for her children. I rarely heard her talk about anything else but them, end quote.

But being away from the kids was hard for her. Lindsay was experiencing what many working mothers go through, balancing work and motherhood. She loved her job, but she hated how it took her away from her kids. At one point, Lindsay even contemplated switching to the day shift so she could spend more time with them, but she realized that with rush hour traffic, it would have doubled her commute time. Sometimes she joked with Patrick about becoming a stay-at-home mom. But he would ask her, do you really want to be home 24-7? He believed her dual roles as both a mother and a nurse were healthy.

In an interview with the New Yorker, he said, I'd say to anyone, usually moms, but really moms or dads, that you should have your kids, but you should also have a life to yourself. Now, over the following months, things seemed to get better as they found their routine. However, in October of 2020, Patrick claims that Lindsay's manic symptoms returned. She was insistent on decluttering the garage in an effort to simplify her life. Patrick said he helped her with the project, but for the next few weeks, she obsessively cleaned. organized, and discarded nearly every item. Some items were put aside to be sold on Facebook Marketplace, but Patrick said that Lindsay felt amazingly on top of things.

In 2021, Lindsay found out she was pregnant with their third child, and everything seemed right in the world. Lindsay's pregnancy went well, and she still somehow dedicated herself to both her children, her husband, and her job. Patrick Clancy's mother, Sue, later said that Lindsay was, quote, A fun-loving, doting wife and mother. She loved her kids, and she was a nurturing mother who smiled all the time.

Lindsay's Facebook was filled with photos of her kids. And one, where Cora and Dawson are eating popsicles, she writes, I feel like the luckiest mama in the world. On Cora and Dawson's first day of preschool in 2021, she posted pictures of them with their backpacks with the caption, I'm so proud of the beautiful, confident, and independent little people they are becoming, and I'm so excited for all they will learn and do in school this year. Then that December, on Cora's birthday, she posted this.

Happiest fourth birthday to the sweetest gift God ever gave me. She's growing up into the most perfect version of herself, and I just couldn't love her more. Now, during this pregnancy, Lindsay was committed to staying active. In fact, in early 2022, during the COVID-19 pandemic, one of Lindsay's former middle school cheer friends set up a Zoom meeting to create a space where moms could hold each other. accountable during their fitness journeys. Lindsay joined the group and attended nearly every session.

The other members were impressed that Lindsay continued showing up late into her pregnancy. She was a huge inspiration to these women. They would later say that sometimes Cora and Dawson would pop up into the frame and work out alongside their mother, but as we've mentioned, health was very important to Lindsay. She stayed active throughout her entire life, and she knew that exercising and eating healthy helped stabilize her mood. So on May 26, 2020, she stepped outside to go on a run, and it was during that run when her water broke. Soon after, she gave birth to her third and final child, Callan Patrick Clancy. And unlike her previous two births, Lindsay had a smooth delivery.

Everything went well. Here's what Patrick had to say about Callan's birth. It was great from what I could tell. It was relatively quick. It was during the day. We were both smiling after. I don't think there is as much physical trauma. Jenny Hennessy, one of the nurses who helped deliver Callan,

and someone who had been in nursing school with Lindsay said, You could see the sheer joy and contentment in her eyes when she had her baby on her chest, taking in every sweet new moment of motherhood, end quote. When they brought Callan home, they were over the moon. Callan was an easygoing baby. Patrick and Lindsay started referring to him as happy Callan. Everything was great.

their family was complete. And Lindsay was so happy because this time around, she had 18 weeks of maternity leave, which was more than she ever had before. Patrick also had 12 weeks off work. And in those early days, they worked together as a team. While Lindsay cared for Callan, Patrick spent time with Cora and Dawson,

taking them to the playground, doing activities around the house and arranging playdates. Patrick later said, quote, it was divide and conquer. Cora, Dawson, and Callan became the center of their world. Lindsay's mother, Paula, said that Lindsay was dedicated to all of her children. Lindsay was a very loving mother. She was dedicated to her children.

She was a fun mother. She was always doing things for her kids. She always wanted to be a mother, have many children, and I felt it was the best thing that ever happened to her. and she would do anything for her children. She was just a loving mother. Lindsay loved watching her children as they grew their own little personalities and developed interests in things. Cora loved princesses, anything sparkly,

and her favorite show was Sophia the first. At preschool, she even tried to convince her teachers to call her Sophia after her favorite Disney character. She was sweet, smart, and silly. She loved putting bows in her hair and wearing dresses. She loved playing with baby dolls, and her favorite book was green eggs and ham. Lindsay would sometimes even make the dish for her,

putting green coloring in the food. Now, Cora already knew what she wanted to be when she grew up, a doctor and a mother. She loved taking care of people, just like her mom. She would practice playing doctor by giving her baby brother Callan regular checkups. She had even perfected swaddling her favorite baby dolls, Caroline and Charlotte.

Cora loved tea parties, sloths, unicorns, and going to lunch with her grandparents. Above all, she loved her brothers deeply, and it was mentioned that she often talked to them in her sweet voice. According to the Clancy's, Dawson was rambunctious and full of energy. He loved firefighters, trucks, dinosaurs, and the show Paw Patrol. At preschool, he was generous and always shared his toys with the other children. He loved being outside, where he was free to run around and caused mischief, something he did often and found hilarious. And then there was Callan,

the happy, easy-going baby. Patrick often said it was because of because he was the third child, he had to adapt, and he did so easily. He was a good sleeper and was always smiling. During Patrick's Microsoft calls, Callan liked to play in his jumper in the background. He'd even started to say, Dada, when Patrick walked into the room. The two shared a unique bond, and every evening when Patrick got off work, he would go upstairs and swing Callan between his legs while he laughed and smiled. Patrick admitted that if he was ever having a bad day, Callan always seemed to know how to lift his spirits. The Clancy House itself really showed just how important the children were to the family.

Almost every room in the home was dedicated to them. The walls were covered in their artwork, stickers, letters, and numbers. There were alphabet displays and colorful projects taped up throughout the home. The playroom was filled with toys. And even the dining room was covered in the kids' things, feeling more like a kid's space than a place to eat. Lindsay had started reading to them when they were only three months old, and she would often make up songs for them.

She took hundreds of pictures of the kids, and there were collages around the house for each child, documenting their milestones from newborn through their first year. Her entire Facebook page was dedicated to them, filled with photos of happy moments. In a picture she posted of baby Callan, she captioned it. He's the most beautiful baby I've ever seen in my life. Under a picture of Dawson, she wrote,

My Prince. On National Daughter Day, she posted pictures of her and Cora and said, No better feeling in this world than having a daughter. On National Sun's Day, she wrote, Yay, Son's Day, the love between a mother and son is indescribable. How unbelievably blessed I am to call this most handsome boy, my son. But despite the outward appearance that everything was okay, there were signs that Lindsay was struggling.

The first thing her loved ones noticed was that just one week after she gave birth to Callan, Lindsay launched into an intense exercise routine. Now, every person is different, but doctors usually recommend you wait around six weeks after giving birth before you start intense exercises. However, just one week after delivery, Lindsay was waking up at 4 a.m. to work out. Sometimes she would run three miles. Other days, she would do 30 minutes on the Peloton bike, and another 30 minutes of aerobics.

She was really pushing herself. On July 4th, 2022, just five weeks after giving birth, she ran a five-mile race. That same month, she posted on Facebook saying she was doing much better than she had after the births of both Cora and Dawson, writing, This time I've stayed so dialed into my routine of exercise, nutrition, personal development, and mindset. Lindsay's older sister Allison later noted that Lindsay, who was usually careful and sensible, impulsively bought into Beach Body, a multi-level marketing exercise and nutrition program. Lindsay purchased products to resell and made videos of her workouts. She even encouraged her Facebook friends to join the program, but Patrick didn't notice anything

wrong. Lindsay's interactions with him and the children remained warm and normal. In fact, the family had a wonderful summer. They went on vacation, spent long days at the beach, visiting. visited family and took the boat out in the water. Anytime Lindsay had questions or concerns regarding motherhood, she often went on Facebook, specifically looking for mom-focused groups for advice. In May 2021, in a group titled Attachment Parenting for Littles, she wrote this.

Hello, lovely parents. I'm looking for some advice, solidarity, ideas, something, anything. I'm truly finding my 19-month-old to be the most difficult human I have ever encountered. I mean that with all the love in my heart, but I honestly cannot make it through the day without getting frustrated with him. He's not my first child, so not to compare, because I know that every child is different. But just for background, this isn't my first rodeo. Every single thing with him is a battle, and it's been this way for a while since he was maybe eight months old. I really try to pick my battles and only do what's completely necessary,

but I mean everything, getting out of his crib in the morning and going downstairs, changing his diaper, getting him dressed, getting him in his seat to eat, getting him in the car seat, getting him out of the car seat, putting on his jacket and shoes to go outside, having him come inside when it's time, going to sleep for his nap and at night. He fights me every step of the way. In August 2022, less than three months after Callan's birth, she returned to Facebook and joined a group called Morning Mantras. Now, a morning mantra is just little phrases you repeat to yourself each morning so that you start the day off on the right foot. But in this Facebook group, Lindsay posted this. Had my third baby two months ago and tried to stick with the morning mantras after he was born.

But the last two weeks or so, I haven't done any of the elements of it, and I'm definitely struggling because of it. Even though I was up at 1230, 1.30 and 3 with the baby, I'm still going to try to start my day at 5, so I can get a good morning mantra in before everyone's up. Wish me luck. Someday it will get easier. She then posted a picture of Cora, Dawson, and Callan writing, Pick of the three kids that make it so darn hard to have me time. Looking back, it was a parent that Lindsay was struggling. Having three young children isn't easy, but despite everything, she was trying to improve her mood. Lindsay was working out every day, eating healthy, she was doing her morning mantras to speak positivity into her life, and she was joining

these Facebook groups to get advice from other moms going through the same struggles. But towards the end of that summer in 2022, Lindsay's mental health started to take a turn. Her maternity leave was said to end in about a month. And like all the times before, she was anxious about leaving Callan. In addition, their babysitter, Miss Jen, was no longer working for them. Then that August, Patrick returned to work. So Lindsay found herself caring for three children all by herself. It was hard.

Now, Patrick did work from home, so he would check in from time to time. coming upstairs to say hello or have lunch with the family. But Lindsay had her hands full, so they decided to hire a new babysitter, Elaine Rossi, known to the family as Laney. Like Miss Jen before her, Lainey helped with childcare, meal prep, light cleaning, and laundry. She worked roughly 12 hours a week. Lindsay wanted to have her around, so when she started work again, Lainey would be familiar with the family's routine.

And Lindsay did a great job telling her everything the kids needed. She even had a yellow journal with Callan's name on the front, where she wrote a detailed schedule on when to feed him, when to give him his naps, what to do if he won't go down for a nap, everything. Here is babysitter Elaine Rossi, describing the kind of mom Lindsay was. I observed a wonderful mom who loved her kids, who was, she was very concerned with their safety. She was very concerned with Callan's eating and sleeping. She was a wonderful mother. Now, things got a little less hectic for Lindsay when preschool started up again. Cora and Dawson started going to learning sprouts for full days on Monday, Wednesday and Friday, and a half day on Thursday.

Both Lindsay and Patrick took turns dropping them off and picking them up, but when Cora and Dawson weren't at preschool, their days were filled with activities. Both Cora and Dawson took gymnastics and swimming lessons at Goldfish and the Kingsbury Club. Patrick sometimes took them skiing, and Cora played joseph. soccer, though she didn't care for it much. Now, the Kingsbury Club was a health club often described as a country club at a fraction of the cost. It offered a day spa, a family restaurant, and a wide range of fitness and training programs, and the club also offered child care, so when Patrick and Lindsay wanted to work out, the kids could stay in the child care room. Other times, the whole family went swimming together at the pool. According to everyone who knew Lindsay,

she was extremely organized when it came to her children's schedules. On her cell phone, She kept detailed appointments for doctor visits, vaccination schedules, drop-offs, swimming lessons, and every other activity the kids were involved in. Their lives were busy. Lindsay was still trying to balance activities for Cora and Dawson while also enjoying her maternity leave with Callan. But as the months continued, and the time for Lindsay to return to work drew closer, her anxiety grew stronger.

Patrick picked up on this, but it was something he was used to by now. Lindsay always got anxious when it was time for her to re-refer. return to work. I don't know. She would say, you know, I'm not looking forward to going back to work. I remember once she said it's just so unnatural to be separated from your newborn. I think it was fine at first. It was always when she had to go back to work. That's when she struggled. She just had a really hard time being separated from them. However, this time was different. Around 12 weeks postpartum, which was the end of August 2022. Lindsay's mental health was growing more and more unmanageable by the day.

She was dealing with anxiety, depression, and severe insomnia, only sleeping about three hours a night. Exhaustion followed her throughout the day. She lost all motivation to exercise. Even simple tasks like getting dressed or taking a shower felt impossible. She described her body as feeling heavy. Everyday tasks were harder to complete. It was clear that Lindsay was experiencing postpartum depression

and anxiety, which affects up to one and seven women who give birth. Now, it typically shows up around six weeks after having a baby, but it can manifest at any point during the first year. Symptoms of postpartum depression include crying frequently, extreme sadness or loneliness, irritability, feeling worthless, empty, emotional highs and lows, losing interest in things you enjoy. You might have feelings of guilt, difficulty concentrating, you might have trouble bonding with your baby, You might doubt your ability to care for them. And you can even have thoughts about harming yourself or the baby. And I know that sounds incredibly scary.

Postpartum can be a beautiful experience, but it can also be a very difficult one. And if you're currently experiencing any of those symptoms in your postpartum journey, you are not alone. And it's not your fault. After having a baby, your body goes through a sharp drop in some hormones and an increase in others. There are changes in thyroid function. and not to mention sleep deprivation. You can also develop postpartum depression if you have a history of depression or anxiety.

But there are environmental factors that can bring on postpartum depression as well, like lack of support from a partner, financial difficulties, relationship problems, or isolation. The most important thing to know about postpartum depression, anxiety, or even psychosis, is that you can get help, even though this case might have you thinking otherwise. But admitting that your suffering does not make you weak, and it doesn't make you a bad mom. What Lindsay Clancy was going through during this time of her life was common. She knew that she was suffering, and she knew she needed help. First, she reached out to her parents, who came down from Wallingford, Connecticut, to help care for the kids.

But when they eventually left, Lindsay's symptoms were still present. She finally began researching psychiatric care in her area, and soon enough, she came across a psychiatrist, named Dr. Jennifer Tufts. Now, Dr. Tuff's website says that she had a particular interest in postpartum. So to Lindsay, she seemed like the perfect fit. Lindsay scheduled a virtual appointment for September 15th, 2022. But at this point, she didn't tell anyone that she was going to see a psychiatrist, not her parents, not Patrick, not her friends.

For so long, Lindsay had tried to fight it all on her own until she realized she couldn't anymore. Taking that first step to get help is hard. It can sometimes feel like a defeat, like you weren't strong enough to do it yourself. Perhaps Lindsay felt that shame. Perhaps she felt like the people around her wouldn't approve, so she didn't tell anyone. At her first virtual telehealth appointment with Dr. Tufts, Lindsay admitted that she was struggling. She reported having anxiety attacks, decreased appetite, depressed mood, and racing thoughts. She said she was easily distracted, had excessive worry and guilt, and she was unable to feel pleasure and unable to fall asleep. Now during this appointment, Lindsay completed three standard assessments, the GAD screening for

anxiety, the PHQ9 questionnaire for depression, and a suicide risk assessment. And her answers showed significant anxiety. On the GAD, Lindsay reported feeling nervous, anxious, or on edge, nearly every day. She also reported that she was extremely worried all the time and had trouble controlling it. Dr. Tufts would later testify that on the PHQ9 assessment, there were also signs of depression. But on the suicide risk assessment, Lindsay answered no to every question about suicidal thoughts, plans, or thoughts of harming others. Now, during this first meeting with Dr. Tuft, she prescribed Lindsay 25 milligrams of Zoloft, an antidepressant that raises serotonin levels, levels in the brain to balance your mood.

Dr. Tufts also diagnosed her with generalized anxiety disorder. Now like we mentioned earlier, Lindsay had taken antidepressants before in nursing school. Then after Dawson's birth, she was prescribed Zoloft, but she didn't take it due to breastfeeding concerns. And around this time, it seemed as though Lindsay was still going back and forth on whether or not she should take it. She did fill the Zoloft prescription at the local CBS, but it sat unopened. while she weighed her decision. On September 17th, exactly two days after her appointment with Dr.

Tufts, Lindsay and Patrick attended a wedding in New Hampshire. Cora and Dawson stayed with family, but baby Callan went with them. While there, Lindsay, Patrick, and Callan were walking through downtown when Lindsay told Patrick that she was considering taking Zoloft to manage her anxiety and depression. She said she thought it would help her, especially since she was nearing the end of her maternity leave, and getting more anxious by the day. Patrick later said that he asked how she planned to get the medication, and she said she would need a prescription from a psychiatrist. Now, he didn't know that she had already seen a psychiatrist

and had the Zoloft on hand. It seemed as if Lindsay was testing to see how he felt about it. But even after this conversation, Lindsay still didn't take the meds. She was still concerned about its effects on breastfeeding. On September 28th, almost two weeks after her appointment, Lindsay scheduled her second telehealth appointment with Dr. Tufts. During the call, she admitted that she still hadn't started the Zoloft,

but she also said she was feeling a bit better. Her mood had improved slightly, and she told the doctor that both she and Callan were getting more sleep. But following this appointment, Lindsay's anxiety returned. Her maternity leave was coming to an end, and she was not ready to go back. Her anxiety got even worse when Callin started refusing to take a bottle. So, hoping to find some comfort, she called her mom Paula.

Lindsay was very open with her mother about what she was feeling. She said she was extremely anxious about going back to work, and just the thought of leaving Callan made her feel guilty. And she was considering applying for a maternity leave extension. Paula figured Lindsay was going through the normal stress of motherhood, and she supported her daughter in whatever she had to do to ease her anxiety. So, on October 3rd, Lindsay sent Dr. Tuft some message. Hi, Dr. Tufts, at our last two appointments.

While I am feeling just better enough to function without medication, I did reach out to my employer about extending my leave for reasons of postpartum anxiety and depression. I don't feel mentally well enough to return to taking care of patients with my baby at home that still won't take a bottle. I know this will trigger my anxiety too much and also having to stay up all night as a nurse. I don't feel it's possible right now. They ask that my provider could fill out a hospital. form so they could process this request. Can I please send you the form to fill out?

Dr. Tufts filled out the form to extend Lindsay's maternity leave. Then two days later, Lindsay met with Dr. Tuft for their third virtual appointment. During this session, Lindsay told Dr. Tufts she was thinking about finally starting the Zoloft because her anxiety wasn't getting any better. Dr. Tufts told her that the medication would help her, but Lindsay was still hesitant. She wanted to try other options first, specifically therapy. Now, Lindsay Lindsay had already found an online counselor through Astor Health named Jennifer McAllister, but she hadn't reached out to her just yet. However, that same day, Lindsay finally scheduled that therapy appointment.

During the appointment, Lindsay talked to McAllister about her background. She said she had a positive and supportive relationship with her parents and older sister. She stated that she did not have a close relationship with her in-laws and that she and Patrick never asked them to babysit. From what we could gather, this first appointment was just scratching the surface, getting to know Lindsay's backstory before really digging into her problems, but the therapy still didn't improve her anxiety. Now, Lindsay was returned to schedule to her job as a labor and delivery nurse at Mass General around this time, but luckily, the extension on her leave was granted,

meaning Lindsay could stay home with Callan and focus on her mental health. She and Patrick also let their babysitter Laney go, since Lindsay was going to be at home, and they felt it no longer made sense to keep the extra help. But Lindsay was still struggling with her. mental health. Her Zoloft prescription sat unopened for several weeks. She tried therapy hoping it would help, but it didn't. And finally, on October 12, 2022, she reached a point where she couldn't do it on her own anymore. Her anxiety got completely out of hand. So that day, Lindsay opened the Zoloft and took the first pill. Now, it typically takes about two weeks for an antidepressant to take effect, and during those two weeks, you can experience a myriad of symptoms.

as your body is getting used to the medication. Some people report that those first two weeks are horrible. They say they can't sleep, they have panic attacks, worsening depression, etc. But then a few weeks end, their symptoms are gone, and suddenly, life is better again. However, that's not the case for everyone. Other people say that they continue having bad symptoms,

even after the two weeks. So at that point, your doctor might give you a different medication to try. You see, sometimes a medication that will, works for one person might not work for another. The unfortunate part about getting help is that it can be a trial and error until you find what works for you. And based on Lindsay's symptoms, she was having a very hard time on Zoloft. She experienced loss of appetite, diarrhea. Her mind felt foggy, and she was even more anxious than before. Now, Lindsay didn't tell anyone she was taking the medication. Her husband Patrick had no idea, but he did start noticing changes in her

He said that around this time she became more depressed and had no interest in anything. She wasn't really improving. She just kind of seemed to be gradually becoming more in like a depressed state. It was just small things. I was planning a trip with Cora to San Francisco and she was nervous about us going and I remember we went to a Halloween event and just leading up to it. I remember she was, it just kind of seemed like she didn't want to go for some reason. But one of the worst symptoms she had on Zoloft was insomnia. Lindsay was barely sleeping throughout the night,

which made it increasingly difficult for her to get through the day and care for Cora, Dawson, and Callan. And it was at this point that Lindsay finally told Patrick that she was taking Zoloft and that it was only making things worse. Lindsay really needed support, So on October 19th, 2022, she texted her mom. Hi, Mom. Would you ever consider coming to stay with us for a couple days at a time?

To help with child care so I can work and talk to a therapist and do a lot of thinking? I actually think going to work will help me, but it's really hard with nurse hours to get child care that we need. I'm thinking if you could come like Sunday to mid-tuesday, it would be really helpful, just a thought. Paula agreed to help in whatever way she could. But from what we could tell, there were no concrete plans made just yet. In the meantime, Lindsay continued following Dr. Tuft's instructions. She started taking 25 milligrams of Zoloft for the first week, then in the second week she was told to increase to 50 milligrams.

However, when she woke up on the morning of the 20th and took the 50 milligram dose, the side effects were awful. It was then that she reached out to her mom again to let her know the seriousness of what was going on. Mom, will you please come up and stay with me for a bit? I'm really sick. Something is wrong. I had horrible insomnia all night, and I just don't know how I'm going to get through the day.

I started taking the medicine my doctor prescribed for anxiety, and I think it's made things worse. It's just really scary, and I don't want to be alone. Ultimately, Paula made her way to Duxbury to spend the entire week with Lindsay and the children. But the day after texting her mom for help, Lindsay immediately scheduled an appointment with Dr. Tufts to figure out why she was having such horrible stuff.

side effects. While on the 50 milligrams of Zoloft, Lindsay couldn't even function. During her online appointment, Dr. Tuft said that Lindsay appeared depressed and worn out. Lindsay admitted that she didn't feel suicidal at the time, but she was anxious that she would eventually have suicidal thoughts. Now, Lindsay had only taken seven pills, and as we mentioned, it takes a few weeks for your body to get used to the medication, but she was having a really hard time. It's difficult to stick with a medication plan when your symptoms are unbearable. Now, during her appointment, seeing that the Zoloft wasn't working, Dr. Tufts instructed Lindsay to stop the medication completely.

Other medications were suggested, but Lindsay was reluctant. And following this, her symptoms only got worse. Lindsay said that she had racing thoughts. Her anxiety increased, and she reported feeling, quote, awful. The next day on October 21st, Dr. Tufts and Lindsay met again through telehealth, and the depression was still there. However, this time, Lindsay reported that she hadn't slept at all the night before. One of the children had been up all night coughing and she continuously worried that something was wrong.

There were still no reports of suicidal ideation, homicidal ideation, or auditory hallucinations, but Dr. Tufts was worried. This time, she prescribed 0.5 milligrams of Ativan as needed for anxiety. Now, Ativan is not an antidepressant like Zoloft, but a benzodia. an azepine that calms the central nervous system. At the end of their session, they agreed to meet in about a week to see how Lindsay was doing. But Lindsay couldn't wait a week. Just five days later, on October 26th, she scheduled a follow-up.

When Lindsay showed up on screen, Dr. Tufts said she looked depressed. Lindsay admitted that she was still experiencing serious side effects. Now, Lindsay had been taking the Ativan, and she even reported that it helped with her anxiety. But she was having insomnia. In fact, her insomnia was so bad that at one point she didn't sleep for 48 hours. Patrick saw these side effects firsthand. Lindsay would toss and turn all night, she'd get up to care for Callan, put him back down, and then still not be able to sleep.

It was starting to take a toll on her. You know, one night she said, do you mind, she started it by saying, I'm not mad or anything, but do you mind sleeping in the basement and letting me just sleep in our room? with Callan and then you can take the monitors down in the basement and if Corrin Dosson get up you can get up with them. She said I've just been having a lot of trouble sleeping and I'm hoping that like if there's less in and out then there'll be less disruption. For two nights, Patrick slept in the basement but her sleep still wasn't improving. Eventually Lindsay and Callan moved to the basement while Patrick slept upstairs for the next week. But whatever limited relief

Lindsay had hoped for never came. She still could not fall asleep and had anxiety that she wasn't being a good mother. With Cora and Dawson, she didn't struggle like this. And because of that, she felt like Callan wasn't getting the care he deserved. Lindsay even documented her thoughts

in journals she kept. In one entry, she wrote this. I'm sad and depressed because I'm not able to parent my third child like my first. I want to treat every one of my babies like my first, but I know that's not a feasible possibility. I'm sad that I stopped breastfeeding. I feel not as connected with cow now.

I think I sort of resent my other children because they prevent me from treating cow like my first baby. And I know that's not fair to them. I know that. I was feeling so depressed last evening when Cora and Dawson came home from school. I know it rubs off on them, so we had a pretty rough evening.

I want to feel love and connection with all of my kids. I'm also probably having internal conflict because my whole life I've wanted to have a lot of kids. I still don't want Cal to be our last. but I have a lot of figuring out to do before I have another. I'm on the fence about starting a new medication for anxiety and depression. I just want to feel happy. I want to be able to relax and take care of my kids.

And then when they go to bed at night, I want to deeply relax and hang out with Pat and then fall into a deep sleep for eight hours. Get up, pour hard into myself for an hour and a half. Cal was so very planned and desired. I want to be able to give him all the love he deserves. He's not the first third child to ever exist. I think I know he'll be okay.

But it's really hard for me. I hate that he has to put himself to sleep. I'm sad I'm not breastfeeding anymore. But I think deep down, these are the right choices. In another entry, she wrote this. I have crazy brain fog. I feel like I can't make a plan. I live moment to moment waiting for the next nap time.

I'm terrified of Cal getting overtired now because I feel I can't help him. But she tried to stay optimistic. Lindsay kept daily affirmations and positive notes in her cell phone. On October 24th, she wrote this. I am strong. I am brave. I will get through this. I will overcome postpartum depression and anxiety. I am a great mom. I love my kids. I love my family. I love my life.

I am happy. I take care of myself. In another section, Lindsay wrote what she was grateful for. My mom for being there for me no matter what, and coming to help at the drop of a half. My husband for picking up the slack when I've been feeling so down. My husband for taking the big kids out to do things when I felt like I can't. But Lindsay was the kind of mom where she always put her children first. Even after barely sleeping the night before, she would still get up, make breakfast, get all the kids ready, and then take them to music classes, gymnastics, and playdates.

One of the moms she met through these activities was a woman named Bethany Decolibus. Bethany would later say that after Lindsay had Callan, it was clear that. she was exhausted. Lindsay would admit that she wasn't sleeping well, then the next week Bethany would see her again, and it was clear nothing had improved. And soon enough, after seeing a clear pattern of this, Bethany said she was concerned for her. I think for a period of time, it felt normal, but after it seemed to continue and not let up for her, I definitely worried about her and was concerned. When you say it seemed normal, what do you mean by that at first? I would say for a period of time seemed reminiscent of, you know, sleep troubles that, you know, I remember having and that, you know, remember friends talking about.

But I think over time, I started to worry more and realize that it wasn't improving for her. Lindsay told Bethany that she was taking medication to try and help and that she was pursuing therapy. Bethany is a therapist herself, so she was happy that her friend was taking the right steps. But sadly, even though Lindsay was taking the right steps, nothing was improving. During her next telehealth appointment, Lindsay reported her symptoms to Dr. Tufts. Nothing seemed to help with sleep. It was really affecting Lindsay's quality of life. So this time Dr. Tufts prescribed Lindsay with buzperone at 5 milligrams for generalized anxiety disorder

and hydroxazine at 25 milligrams for sleep. Hydroxazine is an antihistamine similar to Benadryl. Now, Dr. Tufts also told Lindsay to continue her adivant as needed. And Lindsay told her that the atavant did help with anxiety, but she was worried about getting addicted to it. She didn't want to become dependent on the medication. But going forward, Lindsay hoped that these new medications would help. At some point, Lindsay met up with her friend Bethany again.

And during their lunch, Bethany asked if things had gotten better. Serious conversation. I was concerned and wanted to check in. It had sounded like she had been able to connect with some providers. And I would say at that point, I remember her expressing feeling hopeful about the possibility that things could start to get better. Lindsay was trying to stay positive, but to her dismay, she was still struggling. In another journal entry, she wrote this. I'm struggling so hard because I wanted to parent each of my kids like my first.

And since I can't, that's depressing to me. This is definitely the root cause of all of our problems. Now I feel like I'm not parenting any of my kids the way I want to, and that makes me sad too. But I'm going to try my best today. Things I love doing that help me love and appreciate and enjoy my kids are activities with them. I definitely started having some depression after Cora,

but I started getting up and out with her, and I felt much better. I think signing Cal up for baby music class would be a great thing. Maybe Fridays can be my day with him. I've just fallen out of the habit of doing anything fun, anything for myself, anything with Pat, and I need to work on that. On a positive note, I had a great deep night of sleep. I'm terrified of something happening to my kids or doing something wrong to mess up their development. Our generation is inundated with information about every aspect of parenting and everything that can go wrong if you don't get it right and all the scary

things happening in the world. It's insane. For the last five years, I've just filled my mind with all things parenting, and it's just unhealthy. Lindsay knew she needed to prioritize her mental health. Anytime she felt overcome with anxiety, she took an Ativan pill. But soon enough, there was a new side effect, cardiac palpitations. On October 31st, Halloween, Lindsay had an online appointment with her therapist Jennifer McAllister that lasted one hour. She was anxious. She told Jennifer she was starting to lose confidence in her ability to take care of her children as they grew up. She was also anxious because a lot of the time, she was watching the kids all by herself. In fact, the following day, Patrick was taking a work trip to New York,

meaning she would be watching the three kids with no help. Now Patrick was only in New York for two days. He said it was a work trip. But while he was gone on November 2nd, Lindsay met with Dr. Tufts again. She reported that she didn't take any of her busperone or hydroxazine pills. But months later, medication would be missing from these bottles. However, according to Lindsay, the only medication she was currently using was the Ativan. Lindsay told Dr. Tufts that she just wanted to feel better. She told her that Callan

needed a lot of attention, especially now that he was growing up, and she was overwhelmed. Towards the end of their appointment, the two discussed other medications. They came up with a plan to taper her off the Atavan, so she could start something else that might work better. But following this appointment, Lindsay was frustrated. She'd been concerned. She'd been going back and forth for weeks, and she felt worse than ever before. Now, Patrick came home from New York the following day, but he was only home for one night before leaving again, this time on a trip to San Francisco. Now, he did take Cora with him on that trip, taking a little pressure off Lindsay, but she was still struggling. Nothing bad happened. She was, I would say

her anxiety and depression was starting to tick up, but, yeah, obviously nothing bad happened. Desperate for help, Lindsay posted on a private Facebook page titled, I Am Not Alone, Postpartum Depression slash Anxiety and Rage. And she wrote this. Looking for advice on medications for postpartum anxiety and postpartum depression. I tried Zoloft, and after taking it for a week and increasing to 50 milligrams, I had extreme insomnia and also felt like it was worsening my depression. And I had no appetite whatsoever, so I had to stop taking it.

Has anyone had a similar experience and found a different medication that worked? Also right now, I feel the only medication that works for me is Ativan. It has the perfect effect of decreasing my anxiety and making me feel happy. It makes me feel like myself again, but I know it is not a long-term solution as it's addictive. Lindsay needed relief, but so far, after weeks and weeks of meeting with Dr. Tofts and a therapist, she didn't feel any better. Patrick would later say that he was frustrated. He didn't feel like the online appointments were helping.

And through his observation, he felt like the sessions were rushed and not personal. Patrick would later say, it was just like, what are your symptoms? Take these pills. So from here, Patrick actually reached out to a number of therapists in their area, but none of them had immediate availability. By November 17th, Lindsay's insomnia and anxiety had become so severe that she drove herself to the emergency room at South Shore Hospital. She had gone another 48 hours without sleep.

She told the ER staff that she couldn't eat, couldn't sleep, had brain fog, insomnia, anxiety, and heart palpitations. That same day, it was reported that Lindsay took a marijuana gummy, possibly to help her sleep. But while at the ER, doctors prescribed her tracidone for sleep and depression. Then, Lindsay was sent home. Like all the medication she had taken before, she started Googling Trazadone, the side effects,

and how it affected daily life. Now, months later, it was revealed that six and a half of the tracidone pills were missing from the bottle. But ultimately, the tracidone proved to be ineffective as well. Lindsay's symptoms were still there. Two days after her visit to the ER on November 18th, Lindsay wrote this in her journal. It's like I'm so desperate to get a mental break. From taking care of everyone, that my mind is trying to make something physically wrong with me. I want to be well.

Now, Patrick's mother, Sue Clancy, was a nurse at South Shore Hospital. She had been an RN for 35 years, and she believed that Lindsay needed more appropriate care, specifically for postpartum depression, even though she had not been formally diagnosed with it. Lindsay told Sue that she had been struggling with insomnia, didn't have an appetite, and felt anxious and sad. Sue later testified that Lindsay was begging for help. So Sue Clancy contacted the South Shore Paranatal Behavioral Health Program on November 12, 20th, asking for additional help for Lindsay. And the following day, Lindsay got a call from nurse practitioner Julie Paul.

Julie wanted to know how Lindsay was doing. Lindsay told her that she felt very frustrated and scared. She said that she had racing thoughts and extreme insomnia, only getting about three hours of sleep each night. So, Nurse Paul prescribed 10 milligrams of Prozac for depression. Just two days later, Lindsay scheduled another appointment with Dr. Tufts. Now by this point, it had been about a month since she had seen her last. And during their virtual appointment, Lindsay admitted that she had received treatment

at the South Shore perinatal mental health clinic. She told Dr. Tufts that she had been prescribed Prozac for depression and that she was still on Atavann for anxiety and Benadryl for sleep. But there was something else on Lindsay's mind. The extension on her maternity leave was coming to an end, again, and Lindsay still wasn't ready to go back to work. She asked Dr. Tufts for another extension letter for her employer. Perhaps Lindsay was hopeful that something would finally work.

She just needed a little more time. But after weeks and weeks of seeing all these different doctors and therapists and trying all these different medications, she still wasn't getting better. After only four days of taking Prozac, Lindsay reported that the medication made her insomnia worse. She was told to discontinue the medication, so she did. Now again, Lindsay said she only took,

four days' worth of the pills. But months later, 13 pills were missing from the bottle. Why? We don't know. But at this point, Lindsay seemed to be worse than ever. She wasn't sleeping. She lost her appetite. She had stopped socializing. Her parents even drove down from Connecticut to help with the children. Patrick worked from home, so he was there, but he spent most of his time working in the basement. Lindsay needed help. She was doing her best to get through each day, but nothing was improving. Patrick stated that in the afternoon, after Lindsay's Ativan wore off, he often found her rocking back and forth on the living room couch,

complaining that her heart was racing. She also told him that she was scared. But he said he didn't understand why. However, while all of this was going on, Lindsay still tried to maintain a sense of normalcy for the children. The Clancy's attended a family event with food trucks and train rides for the kids. On Thanksgiving, November 24th,

they went to Lindsay's parents' house in Wallingford, Connecticut. Her older sister Allison said she hadn't seen Lindsay in a while, as the two lived in different states for 10 years. But it was obvious to her that Lindsay didn't seem like herself, and she wasn't. The very next day, Lindsay arranged another virtual visit, not with Dr. Tufts, but with Nurse Paul, who worked with Lindsay at the hospital earlier that month. During this visit, Nurse Paul prescribed her Ambien, a sleeping medication. She also prescribed a different antidepressant called Remeron, and then finally,

Colonnopin, a benzodiazepine used to treat anxiety. Now just to help paint a picture, Lindsay had been taking medications for less than two months by this point. And throughout that time, she had been prescribed Zoloft, Busebrone, hydroxazine-adavann-Prosac, trazadone, Ambien, Rimeron, and Kalanapen. But Lindsay was hopeful that since the Zoloft and Prozac didn't work, maybe this antidepressant would. However, after taking just one pill of Rimeron, Lindsay said she experienced dissociation. She reported feeling, quote, disoriented, forgetful, confused, and disconnected from her own body, end quote. It was so bad, she couldn't even drive or be by herself. She felt like the world around her wasn't real, so this was yet another medication that only

made things worse. That week, the Clancy celebrated Thanksgiving with Patrick's family at her sister's house in South Hamilton. Lindsay even coordinated matching funny t-shirts with Patrick's sisters, and photo, she's smiling wearing a shirt that read, Talk Turkey to me. Although the photo showed Lindsay smiling and happy, what was going on beneath the surface was very different. Patrick later said she was in rough shape. Here he is describing her mood that weekend. She wasn't talking much. She had low energy. She was really depressed. I just remember when she showed up, my sister-in-law gave her big hug. According to Patrick's father, Lindsay was still interacting with everyone, but she wasn't acting like her normal self.

She's in quiet. She's in quiet. Patrick's mom, Sue Clancy, said that at one point, she noticed Lindsay walk away from everyone. She was all by herself in another room. So Sue approached her and asked if everything was okay. Lindsay told her that she was trying to get better, that she wanted to get better. But later that day when everyone was sitting around the table, eating their Thanksgiving meal, Lindsay hardly touched her food.

Sue knew that she was still struggling. Everyone knew. After all, Sue had sought out postpartum resources for her while she was in the emergency room weeks earlier. But despite everything, Lindsay was still showing up. She was still trying to get better. Towards the end of November, after the Thanksgiving festivities, the Clancy's even went and picked out a Christmas tree.

But Lindsay's journal entries from around this time show that she wasn't doing well. She wrote that she was completely overwhelmed trying to take care of three children. She wrote, I feel like I'm drowning every day. Lindsay also became intensely focused on Callan's sleep schedule. She was trying sleep training, which means when they start crying, you sometimes let them cry it out until they fall back asleep.

But she was having a hard time with it. In her journal, she wrote, Hearing him cry for one plus hours and not intervening just about killed me. I even said the words, I want to die, to pat, while he was crying. Lindsay also became obsessed with tracking Callan's naps to the minute. In another journal entry, she wrote this. As for the sleep training, I needed a baby that slept through the night because I simply do not have the opportunity in my life to catch up on sleep.

I just don't. If there was a time for me to nap every day, then that may not have been the case. But there really isn't. When Cal naps, I have to take care of Cora and Dawson. That's just how it is. It feels cruel to me that we did not do that with Cal. But the reality is we did what we had to do. I guess I also feel slightly traumatized by the sleep training,

but that feeling was really present when I was severely sleep deprived and paranoid. I know what we did was the right thing and okay. As for the breastfeeding, it kind of goes hand in hand with the sleep training. Once he started sleeping most of the night, it was then a daily struggle to keep up with my milk supply. I was having to take a ton of supplements and constantly thinking about eating and drinking enough to keep the supply up. And then I was having to think about pumping extra to keep it up.

And that was really hard to do with Cora and Dawson around. When I tried to leave Cow to go out with Cora and Dawson, I was stressed about pumping, and not to mention the fact that Cow was at home and not taking a bottle. So it was a battle of if I should pump or not. I know I did the right thing because I was able to leave Cal with someone and get fed. As much as I don't want to leave him, I need to be able to. I need to be present with my other kids.

I still really want a fourth child, but I need a really good therapist before then. I'm on the fence about starting a new med or not. I want to feel happy, but it would be nice to feel authentically happy and not fake. But I need to feel happier than I did last evening because then I was pretty depressed and not enjoying any of my children. It was really sad. November 28th, with Lindsay's side effects getting worse,

she requested another virtual appointment with Nurse Paul. Lindsay had just had an appointment with Nurse Paul three days earlier, but she needed to see her again because her symptoms were getting out of hand. She still couldn't sleep, her insomnia wasn't getting any better, and now she had feelings of being disoriented and forgetful. Nurse Paul noted that Lindsay said she was disassociated and not in touch with reality, which is a common symptom of postpartum psychosis. But Nurse Paul couldn't help Lindsay. She had actually taken a job with another medical facility in New Hampshire, so instead she referred Lindsay to another provider.

The following day on November 29th, Lindsay started seeing Rebecca Gelada, a perinatal psychiatric nurse practitioner. During their first virtual appointment, Lindsay told Nurse Gelada that she was, quote, anxious and frightened about what is happening, end quote. Lindsay reported that she was only sleeping around two hours a night, waking up and needing to take more Ativan to fall back asleep. She also blamed herself for her symptoms, saying she didn't know why this was happening or why she was feeling the way she felt. She was frustrated that no one could give her definitive answers, and it was starting to take a toll on her. Lindsay's weight had dropped from 130 pounds to 124. Lindsay told her about the horrible side effects she experienced with Remmeron, but Nurse Gillotta

suggested that she continued taking it, giving it more time to build up in her system. Now, Nurse Gelotta also believed that Lindsay's depression and anxiety might be stemming from her lack of sleep each night. So she also increased her Ambien prescription. But Lindsay didn't want to take more medication. She didn't want to take the Ambien, and she made that clear. Nurse Gelato would later say that she talked with Lindsay about the possibility of her having bipolar disorder. Now, bipolar disorder can sometimes look like severe depression. People have really low lows, but they also have really high highs. One month, during a depressive episode, they might feel really down. They can't get out of bed. They have no motivation to do anything. Their sleep dysfunction, changes in

appetite. They might have trouble concentrating, or even thoughts of suicide. But then several months later, they might experience a manic episode, which is the really high highs. They'll have a ton of energy. They'll have feelings of euphoria or grandiose beliefs. Sometimes they'll talk really fast, jumping from topic to topic. They'll participate in risky behaviors. Now, when people have bipolar disorder, antidepressants alone aren't usually effective. Doctors will typically prescribe an antidepressant along with a mood stabilizer. So when Nurse Gelada looked at Lindsay's case, she saw that the antidepressants weren't working. She also saw that Lindsay definitely showed signs of severe depression. But to her, Lindsay didn't show signs of mania, so she didn't want to

diagnose her with bipolar just yet. At the end of their 30-minute appointment, Lindsay's plan going forward was to continue the rimmeron at 15 milligrams nightly and the atavan as needed. Nurse Gelada also encouraged her to go to therapy, exercise, and meditate. She expected to hear from Lindsay the following week. But the very next morning, at 11.30 a.m., Lindsay emailed her asking if it would be okay to discontinue the remor on completely. She said her depression was worsening and that she had only gotten two hours of sleep the night before. But Nurse Gillotta was adamant that she should continue the medication. Stick with it, she said. Take the rumor on for another 10 days,

and after 10 days if it still isn't working, we'll try something else. Now throughout that day, Lindsay and Nurse Jolada exchanged several more emails back and forth. Lindsay told her she wasn't suicidal, but she felt she could no longer go on feeling like this. She said her depression was, quote, much worse, and that she felt, quote, completely hopeless and unmotivated. Ultimately, Nurse Gilada believed it was best to go ahead and prescribe an antipsychotic and mood stabilizer called Sarah Quill. But Lindsay was nervous about taking another medication. So far, most of the meds she had taken had only made her feel worse.

She even texted her mother-in-law, Sue. I'm not okay. I'm terrified of taking meds tonight. Sue responded, Why are you scared? What happens if you don't take them? What are you afraid of? What about Ambien?

I was never this depressed. It was brought on by the medication. Lindsay decided to give the Sarah Quill a chance. This was her first time taking an antipsychotic and mood stabilizer. And more than anything, she wanted it to work. But sadly, it didn't. In fact, this is where Lindsay's mental health really took a turn for the worse. And now for a brief ad break.

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something she had never experienced before. According to the lawsuit, Lindsay would later file, quote, After starting Sarah Quill, Lindsay's condition took a dramatic turn for the worse. She developed suicidal ideation and began experiencing what she described as intrusive thoughts, which were actually auditory hallucinations. The voice said, I will not be the same. I want to die. End quote. After taking Syracille, Lindsay also believed that she had developed ketoacidosis,

as it was listed as one of the rare side effects. Lindsay felt like Nurse Gillotta's medical advice wasn't working. So on December 1st, she scheduled another virtual appointment with Dr. Tufts, the first psychiatrist she saw. During that appointment, Lindsay told Dr. Tufts that she felt down, empty, like a vessel with nothing left inside. She said she tried to get off the Ativan, but without it, she couldn't sleep at all. The Trazadone, she said, had no effect on her.

And she tried Prozac with Benadryl and Ativan, but it made her insomnia worse. She said she also tried Remeron with Colanipin, but it made her heart. her disoriented. She had intrusive thoughts and rebound anxiety when she woke up in the morning, so she stopped that too. Lindsay admitted that the only medications that seemed to work were the benzodiazepines. But as soon as they wore off, she felt more restless and panicked than before. But during this appointment, Lindsay did take some responsibility on why things weren't working out. She told Dr. Tufts, quote, I think it's my problem. I keep reaching out to different people and not sticking with the plan."

Now, Dr. Tufts advised Lindsay on the importance of having only one medical provider who managed medications. But Lindsay wasn't making these decisions to be difficult. She wasn't sticking to the plan because the medications were making her life significantly worse, and she kept reaching out to different people because she wanted to find a solution.

Towards the end of her appointment, she told Dr. Tufts, quote, it's a feeling like I'm going to die, end quote. Dr. Tufts would later testify about this appointment, and she said this. She was feeling very hopeless, but she didn't have any active thoughts of hurting herself, didn't have any intention of doing anything, didn't have any plans. The two also discussed the possibility of bipolar disorder. But like Nurse Gelada, Dr. Tufts did not believe Lindsay was bipolar.

The depression was there, but there had been no signs of mania. Now following this appointment with Dr. Tufts, Lindsay emailed Nurse Gelada at 12.20 p.m. telling her that she couldn't stay on the Remmeron. She claimed it was giving her intrusive thoughts. Scary thoughts she had never had before. She added, quote, I would really like to go back to Julie's original plan of Prozac in the morning and using Ativan and Benadryl at night as a band-aid until I get to a therapeutic level of Prozac.

Please let me know if you agree with this plan. I know I need to give it a good couple of weeks to work, end quote. Nurse Jelotta then responded with this. I sent her a detailed message of signs and symptoms of postpartum depression and anxiety, including factors like onset, risk factors, predictors, common symptoms, and it highlighted how intrusive thoughts are quite common in postpartum depression anxiety. And I asked her, you know, I'm wondering if that's what's going on here. I then asked her if she was able to take the Seraquel that night.

and if she noticed any improvement in terms of sleep or anxiety with the Sarakal. Lindsay thanked Nurse Gelata for the information and said, I panicked last night and just took Adavan and Benadryl, but tonight I'll stick with the plan and try 15 milligrams Remmeron and the 25 milligrams of Sarah Quill. Lindsay even apologized for all the messages she was sending and added, It's just a very scary time for me, and starting new meds with side effects is very scary to me. I'll check in in the morning and let you know how it went. Nurse Jolada informed Lindsay that there were a lot of resources at South Shore that she should look

into, including books titled Good Moms Have Scary Thoughts and Pregnancy Postpartum Anxiety Workbook. Now, Lindsay was actually going to the clinic the next day to attend counseling, so she told Nurse Jolada that she would pick up the books then. But on the morning of December 2nd, Lindsay's emotions were hard to ignore. She felt overwhelmed and desperate for any type of relief. At 7.51 a.m., she emailed Nurse Gelada. Hi, Rebecca. I took the 15 milligram Rimmeron and 25 milligram Seraquil. I woke up at 12 with horribly intrusive thoughts of wanting it to be all over. I took one milligram of Ativan and went back to sleep and the thoughts went away.

Now that I have the Ativan on board, I really need to explore the option that I'm addicted to Ativan. I have a therapy appointment with Letitia Dukes in your office. I would really like to speak to someone in the substance use clinic to explore the option. At 8.51 a.m., Nurse Gelada responded, I fully appreciate and understand the concern for benzodia tolerance. It's not something I want to happen to my patients ever. With that being said, there's a place for benzodiazepines, especially at the beginning and acute phase of treatment and getting someone stable.

We would always pull back slowly. I think another thing to try tonight would be to take 50 milligrams of Syracille, two tablets, and see if that works better. The intrusive thoughts are part of postpartum depression, anxiety, very painful to think and experience. But I want to reassure you that it's not uncommon and means nothing about who you are as a mother. Let me know what you think. At 9.04 a.m., Lindsay wrote,

I'm willing to try anything. I just keep coming back to the feeling that I am dependent on Ativan after my two and a half weeks of taking it daily with Benadryl, following the bad reaction to Zoloft. I feel addicted to it, and I feel like I'm not being heard that that is a possibility. I feel that we are throwing all these different meds at my insomnia, when the root cause is at-of-and-dependence. I don't feel any of the anxious thoughts I have before. I feel completely numb. But Nurse Gelada did not feel that Lindsay had developed an addiction or even a dependence to the drug.

She felt it was working as intended, but she emailed Lindsay back with detailed information on addiction and dependence, hoping Lindsay would see that she did not fit the drug. criteria. Still, she understood Lindsay's concerns and suggested she'd take the Ativan only every other night as needed and made it clear she would not refill the prescription. At 10.02 a.m., Lindsay wrote, The insomnia started from the Zoloft. Then after two weeks of daily adivant and Benadryl use, that's when the insomnia was at its worst. I've tried so many different sleeping aids at this point. Trasidone, Ambien, Remmeron, and they all seem to barely touch the sleep until I take Ativan with them. So tonight I will try 15 milligrams of Remmeron with 50 milligrams of Sarahquil.

I fear that if I wake up in the middle of the night with intrusive thoughts again, I feel like I will need Atavan. I also just feel concerningly numb right now, like I have no emotion whatsoever. I feel like I'm going to die and I don't care. What do I do about this? Here's how Nurse Gelada responded. I said this sounds like depression and anahedonia symptoms. I would say if you're feeling unsafe, particularly as we head into the weekend. It is important for you to have information for psych emergency services available to you. And I provided a list of the 24-hour emergency service programs like mobile crisis intervention.

Anheedonia depression is described as the inability to feel pleasure or enjoy things that used to bring joy. There are often reports of people saying they feel numb or flat. It is common in patients with severe depression or post-partion. part of mood disorders. Nurse Jelotta reassured Lindsay that even though she felt terrible, her symptoms were from an illness that was highly treatable. She wanted to encourage her that it would pass and that these feelings weren't permanent. Going forward, she instructed her to continue taking 50 milligrams of Seraquil, 10 milligrams of Prozac, 15 milligrams of Remmerin, and 1 milligram of Ativan as needed every other day. At 1.40 p.m., Lindsay responded,

Thank you. I'll stick with that plan. I really hope it works and to feel like myself soon. I've never felt anything like this before. I just don't feel like myself. Now, that same day, Lindsay had her first in-person appointment with Letitia Dukes, a licensed mental health counselor at South Shore. Here's Letitia describing her role. So my role would be to create a treatment plan to address the concerns, which would be like the anxiety and depression symptoms and work on coping skills and building community supports around that or if she needed a referral to a high level of care, I would do that. During Lindsay's appointment, she confided in Letitia that she felt numb.

She had no appetite which caused her to lose a lot of weight, and she was having panic attacks. Her anxiety and depression had gotten so bad. She didn't even have interest in talking to her friends. She admitted to having insomnia and passive suicidal ideation. But when it came to her anxiety surrounding Callan, Lindsay broke down in tears. She told Letitia that she worried about him having medical issues or something bad happening to. her children. She said she had thoughts of wanting to die, and she was still worried about developing an addiction to Adavan. But according to Letitia, there were no signs of addiction. Lindsay was

using the medication as intended, not abusing it. Now her initial thoughts was that Lindsay was experiencing postpartum anxiety. She recommended that Lindsay continued taking her medication, attend outpatient therapy, and continue weekly sessions with her at South Shore. Letitia would later admit that that she never referred to nurse Julie Paul or nurse Rebecca Gillotta's notes because she wanted a quote, fresh set of eyes when treating Lindsay. According to court documents,

Lindsay claimed that she felt emotionless and like a zombie. Now, she spoke openly about her side effects with everyone, with Patrick, her parents, and all of her medical providers. She also reached out to her sister Alison around this time and Allison knew that Lindsay had been struggling. But by early December 22, she could tell the things were worse than ever before. The beginning of December, it seemed like she very much decompensated.

I do remember her saying at one point at the beginning of December, something long lines of I'm in a really tough spot in knowing what she had shared with me previously about how her mental health had been struggling. I had this gut feeling that something was off and that she was really struggling, and I asked her if she was safe. What did she say? She said yes at that point.

Luckily, Lindsay's mom was retired and was able to spend a lot of time in Duxbury, helping out. But it was becoming increasingly clear that things were deteriorating. Lindsay confided in her mom that she was afraid to be alone. She even asked if she could sleep in the bed with her. By this point, Lindsay was exhausted. She had spent the last few months cycling through medication after medication. And now, things were worse than ever before. Patrick was also upset, and he demanded that Lindsay's next appointment be,

in person rather than through telehealth online. He believed she wasn't getting the one-on-one care she desperately needed. In his mind, all of her providers were simply prescribing medications and hoping for the best. But according to Patrick, things got really bad when Lindsay started taking Seraquil. How she was physically after starting the Seroquel. Awful. How so? Um, that was really where her big spiral started.

started. She started to lose a lot of weight and she became very depressed and she was having a really hard time. And did she describe to you some thoughts or feelings that she was having at that time? Yeah, she started to say she was suicidal. And was that in December of 2022? I think so, yeah. And when she told you she was suicidal, did you ask her if she had a plan on how to kill herself? Yes. And what was her response?

She said no. Early December 2022 should have been a happy time for the couple. Months earlier, they planned to go to dinner and spend the night at a nice hotel for their sixth wedding anniversary. Patrick said he even booked Lindsay a massage at the Omni Parker House, but they had to cancel their plans. By this point, Lindsay's side effects had become so severe. They were debilitating. She had lost 15 pounds. She still didn't have an appetite and was now experiencing panic attacks, confusion,

and had trouble focusing on simple tasks. But the most concerning development was Lindsay's suicidal ideation and intrusive thoughts. Really scary intrusive thoughts at that. One evening, while Patrick and her mom were in the kitchen, Lindsay approached them. She appeared nervous, and then she told them, I have to tell you guys something. She told us that she had thoughts of harming the children. Here is Patrick describing this conversation.

She described thoughts of hurting the kids or having, or them having some sort of ailment. So, like, she was very worried that Cora had, whenever she had a stomach ache, she became overly worried that she was, you know, like, had like a liver problem or something much more. dramatic than it was. I think I asked her at some point, you know, do you feel like you need to be kept away from them? And she said no. And then, you know, it was very confusing because a minute later she was making them lunch or playing with them or, you know, getting ready for bed or whatever it was. But that's the thing about mental health issues. For some people, they can be fine one moment and then completely not fine the next. That seemed to be the case for Lindsay. Some moments she would have an intrusive thought about harming the children. She didn't have a plan to do it,

but the thought was still there. Then later that day, Lindsay's old self would resurface. She was able to take care of the children, feed them, give them baths, play with them, take them to different activities. Around this time, Lindsay texted Patrick Cora's Christmas wish list. This year, Cora wanted jewelry, a scientist set, a dollhouse, unicorn wallet, princess set, baby doll cradle, and a hairdresser doll set. Lindsay sat down with her as she made this list. That doesn't sound like a mom who wanted to hurt her children. But then another day, Lindsay would spiral after Cora said she had a stomach ache. She was worried it might be a serious problem with her liver. The anxiety would set back in. The intrusive thoughts would creep into her psyche. It seemed like a vicious cycle that never let up.

Now Patrick would later admit that Lindsay mentioned several times that she was having thoughts of hurting the kids. But she didn't say exactly what? the thoughts were. And because she didn't have a plan, he didn't think she'd actually hurt them. However, day by day, things were only getting worse. On December 3rd, Lindsay emailed Nurse Jolada again. Last night I didn't take Ativan. My dose had been the night before at 1 a.m. I only slept for about four hours at the beginning of the night, about 9.30 to 145 a.m. Then I dozed off for maybe another 45 minutes from 4.30 a.m. to 5.

Today, all day, I had horrible, intrusive thoughts and felt deeply depressed. I finally took half a milligram of Ativan at 6 p.m. And now the thoughts are gone, and I feel good. The message came through on a Saturday, but Nurse Gelada was out of the office, so she didn't see the email until later that next week. However, Lindsay's symptoms that weekend were horrible. According to Lindsay's lawsuit, on December 4th, she started having auditory hallucinations. They became so frightening that she called the New Bedford suicide.

Hotline. During the call, she asked for help, but was turned away because she mentioned she didn't have a specific plan to kill herself. The following day, December 5th, she scheduled a virtual appointment with an aspire crisis support clinician, once again begging for someone to help her. Her heart was racing, she was suffering from panic attacks. But tragically, she was told that she did not meet the criteria for inpatient treatment because, again, she didn't have a specific plan on how she would kill herself. Instead, they suggested an outpatient treatment. day program. The clinician at Aspire said he would send over more information to Lindsay, but he never did. So once again, Lindsay's cry for help went unanswered.

Now luckily, Lindsay was able to get an appointment that afternoon with Letitia Dukes, the mental health counselor at South Shore. During the virtual appointment, Patrick sat next to Lindsay as she told the counselor how she was feeling. Lindsay told Letitia that things had been hard, Especially the intrusive thoughts about wanting to die. So support during this meeting, I offered her support in connecting to, it seemed like she needed a high level of care. So intensive outpatient therapy, partial hospitalization therapy, as well as we reviewed. One of her main concerns was also issues with sleeping. So we reviewed sleep hygiene and how to support better sleep to see if that would help with some of the intrusive thoughts.

As promised, Letitia sent over more information on programs that could help her, including psychological testing. But in her professional opinion, Lindsay showed no signs of psychosis, mania, delusions, paranoia, or homicidal ideation. The entire appointment lasted 30 minutes, and once again, Lindsay got nowhere. Desperate to find answers, she started Googling things on the internet. Lemictal. Lemitle versus Zoloft. What is mania? Can bipolar disorder be temporary? Can Benzos reveal bipolar disorder? How long are detox programs? Things were so bad for her that Patrick ended up calling Lindsay's parents to come and stay with them, hoping it would help her. He also wanted to speak with Nurse Jolada in person and voice his concerns about how none of Lindsay's

medications were working. Now, Lindsay had already scheduled a virtual telehealth appointment with Nurse Jolada the following day, but Patrick said no. The appointment had to be in person. Yeah, I felt like it had to be in person because I just felt like there was a disconnect. I felt like we could figure it out. whatever was going on. So most of her, it seemed like most of her telehealth appointments were pretty quick and there just wasn't like a lot of attention. So on Tuesday, December 6th,

Patrick and Lindsay met with Nurse Gillotta at her South Shore office. Now weeks earlier, Nurse Gillotta had Lindsay complete in Edinburgh screening, which gives you a score on your depression levels. When Lindsay took it the first time she scored a 17, which meant moderate to severe depression. But this time when she took it, she scored a 21, which meant severe depression. Lindsay was also given a generalized anxiety disorder screening, which she scored a 19, and that too was five points higher than the previous time she took it. During the appointment, Nurse Jolada noticed that Lindsay looked anxious, but to her, there were no signs of psychosis. Now, Patrick voiced his concerns regarding Lindsay's Seraquil prescription. He told Nurse

Gelada, it was causing her to have suicidal ideations and what Patrick described as horrible thoughts. But according to Lindsay's lawsuit, they were auditory hallucinations, telling her, quote, I will never be the same. I will never be me again. You're damaged. You will never be the same. The only option is to die, end quote. But during this appointment, Patrick told Nurse Gelada this. Lindsay is 10,000 times worse since she has taken medication. Why doesn't she just stop all medications and start from scratch to see what is going on? Patrick asked Nurse Gelotta if it was possible she had been prescribed the wrong meds, and that was what was causing these issues.

And Nurse Gelada said it was possible. Patrick was upset. He believed that the significant number of medications were turning Lindsay into a, quote, zombie. Now, at some point during this appointment, with Patrick in the room, Nurse Gillotta once again brought up the possibility of Lindsay having bipolar disorder. Lindsay hadn't been able to tolerate her antidepressants. She also experienced racing thoughts, had trouble concentrating. She had no interest in the things that used to bring her joy, all symptoms of bipolar disorder.

But once again, Nurse Gelada said she didn't seem to have the mania that you typically see with bipolar disorder. However, Nurse Gelotta told Patrick and Lindsay that she might be in a, quote, mixed manic, or hypomanic state. But Patrick disagreed. I recall Patrick saying my wife is not bipolar. Lindsay looked at me, she did not say anything. During this appointment, Lindsay said she's still worried that she was dependent on Ativan.

So to ease her mind, Nurse Jalada administered the Clinical Institute Withdrawal Assessment for Alcohol, a test that measured the severity of alcohol and sometimes benzodiazepine withdrawal symptoms. But Lindsay scored a one, meaning minimal or no withdrawal. Now, going forward, Lindsay was told to taper off Ativan and switch to Valium because the shorter acting Ativan was causing rebound anxiety as it wore off.

Valium was longer acting so it would stay in her system more steadily and she could taper off more smoothly. During this appointment, Lindsay also said that she no longer wanted to stay on Remarin or Sarah Quill, saying the mixture made her feel, weighted down and exhausted. Lindsay and Patrick both agreed that they wanted to get rid of those medications and start Prozac again at 20 milligrams. However, Nurse Gelada had her concerns, especially now that she was considering that Lindsay might have bipolar disorder.

Like we mentioned earlier, if someone does have bipolar, an antidepressant alone will not help. Nurse Gelada later said it can, quote, create a scenario where people are flipping back and forth between manic symptoms and depressed symptoms, end quote. So, like I said, usually when someone has a bipolar diagnosis, they will prescribe them an antidepressant and a mood stabilizer, which is what Lindsay was doing. So Nurse Jolada told Lindsay to continue the Seraquil for a little while longer and to taper off

the remoron. And if it still wasn't working after that, then she would consider putting her back on Prozac. Lindsay agreed. However, the following morning, she sent Nurse Jalada the following email. Hi, Rebecca. last night did not go well at all. I took the Valium and the melatonin and slept from 9 p.m. to 1 a.m. Then around 2 a.m., I got desperate and took 25 milligrams of Benadryl,

and I only slept for one more hour. What can I do? I really need help. Nurse Gelotta replied one hour later, reviewing Lindsay's sleep problems and the medication plan. That same day, she also prescribed additional Valium and increased Lindsay's Syracule dose from 50 milligrams to 100 milligrams. She believed that Lindsay might be in a mixed manic or hypomanic state related to possible bipolar disorder.

There's Gelata testified that she wanted to get the manic symptoms under control, and Sarah Quill is commonly used for that purpose in bipolar treatment. So she emailed Lindsay back, saying, If you're not sleeping while with the Valium alone, there's no need to continue it, and I will prescribe a short taper to get you off benzos altogether. Because you are not tired at all and have a significant reaction to Zoloft at 50 milligrams, I'm concerned this is an underlying mood in bipolar disorder. I know you and your husband did not necessarily agree with that,

but I'm going to send along this information to review. Nurse Gelada then attached a list of symptoms of bipolar disorder and risk factors. Now, both Lindsay and Patrick said that Sarah Quill made Lindsay so much worse. However, thinking that Lindsay might be bipolar, Nurse Gelada was adamant that she stay on it. In fact, she wanted to increase her dosage over the next few weeks. days. On December 7th, Nurse Gelata told Lindsay to go from 50 milligrams to 100. Then the following day, she wanted Lindsay to double that dosage, taking 200 milligrams. Then the next night, 300,

and then finally by December 10th, she wanted her taking 400 milligrams of Seraquil. On December 8th, Lindsay reported that she had slept well the night before with the combination of Valium and Seraquil. But on December 9th, both Patrick and Lindsay called Nurse Jolata's office and agreed that Lindsay's symptoms were acute, which means it starts suddenly and gets worse quickly. Now, according to Nurse Gelada, Patrick did most of the talking on this call. He was extremely worried. Lindsay had been waking up with panic symptoms, racing heart, intense fear, intrusive suicidal thoughts, but again, she said she had no plan for the suicide.

So at this point, Nurse Gelada told Lindsay to stay on her medications, but she wanted her to try out a partial hospitalization at Women and Infants Hospital in Rhode Island. a hospital that specialized in prenatal and postpartum care. Lindsay told her she would look into it, but as the days continued, Lindsay's sleep remained unstable and her mood stayed low. Over the weekend, things felt especially hard, and on Monday, December 12th, Lindsay messaged Nurse Gelada this.

I've been noticing on my Apple Watch that my heart rate has been fluctuating more than usual. It has been going from 56 to 136 within a matter of minutes. I'm wondering if this is a side effect of the seraphobic. and if there's anything I can do about it. Nurse Jolada explained that it was a normal temporary side effect that was common in the first few days. But Lindsay once again told her that she didn't want to be on those medications. She feared they were causing her symptoms, making everything worse.

She didn't want to take them anymore. She was extremely depressed and unmotivated. She didn't have the energy to go Christmas shopping. In fact, she couldn't even drive. Her symptoms were so bad. But Nurse Jolada told her about the dangers of abruptly stopping medication. She told her it could lead to even worse symptoms, and she encouraged her to continue the serraquil and Valium.

And if things continued to get worse, she should pursue partial hospitalization at the women and infants hospital. So Lindsay continued taking the medication, but she didn't increase the sarahquil to 400 milligrams, like Nurse Gelotta had instructed. Instead, she stopped at 200 milligrams. And of course, by December 13th, Lindsay had not improved.

She was deeply depressed, had no motivation to do anything, and she continued having suicidal ideations. She told Patrick she wanted, quote, this to be all over, end quote. Now that same day, she had an in-person visit with Nurse Gelada, but she changed it to virtual. During the visit, Lindsay said she had been sleeping better. She was now getting seven to nine hours of sleep a night, but her depression had not improved. She reported feeling numb and hopeless, and her heart was still racing. Nurse Gelada told Lindsay to continue the Seraquil at the same dose for seven days and to taper the volume to two milligrams.

Then she would reassess in one week. However, just two days later, Nurse Gelada received a phone call. This time, it wasn't Lindsay. It was Patrick. He told Nurse Gelada that Lindsay had a, quote, devastating week. He reported that she had intrusive thoughts of suicide. And according to Lindsay's lawsuit, she was having auditory hallucinations every single day. voices that told her, I will never be the same.

I will never be me again. You are damaged. You will never be the same. The only option is to die, end quote. Patrick stated that Lindsay had no energy and couldn't get out of bed. Lindsay even told her mom that she feared Cora and Dawson's preschool teachers would know what she was thinking, that they would judge her and see that she wasn't a good mother because she was sick.

Did she express to you concern that in this time frame that people at the school teachers and other people, People would be able to know what she was thinking and would think that she wasn't a good mother because she was sick. Yes, she said the school knows something's going on because I'm not driving my car. You know, they see that I'm not driving my car to pick the kids up. Lindsay was more paranoid than ever before. She feared she would be locked away in a mental hospital and that her children would be taken away. Lindsay had even told her parents that she wanted to take her own life, that the drugs were, quote, destroying her mind and that she was no longer herself.

Things had reached an all-time low. Hearing this, Nurse Gelato was very concerned. So much so, she suggested that Lindsay be taken to a hospital. That very day, Lindsay was admitted to the Massachusetts General Hospital emergency room. Now, keep in mind, this is where Lindsay worked as a labor and delivery nurse. She hadn't been to work in months due to her mental health problems, and now here she was a patient. During her stay, Lindsay was evaluated by three doctors. One believed that she should be admitted to McLean, a psychiatric hospital, while the other two

recommended a partial hospitalization at Women and Infants Hospital in Rhode Island, which is the same hospital nurse Jolada and counselor Letitia Dukes recommended. Now, it was noted that most patients attend women in infants' hospital for two to three weeks, and it's a day treatment program, meaning patients come in during the day for therapy and medication management and then return home at night. Even better was that moms could bring their babies to the program. Lindsay told them she would consider it. After Lindsay's symptoms subsided, she came home from the ER feeling defeated. Nothing was working. So the next day on December 16th, she scheduled another telehealth appointment with Dr. Tufts. During the session, Lindsay said she was having

a rough time. She told Dr. Tufts about being admitted into the hospital and how she was considering the partial hospitalization program. As for her symptoms, Lindsay said that the combination of Sarah Quill and Valium had helped with her insomnia. However, she was still severely depressed. She told Dr. Tufts that she had absolutely no motivation and some suicidal ideation, but still no plan. She believed that the Sarah Quill was making her depression worse. So Dr. Tufts decided to add a new prescription, 25 milligrams of lomictal, another mood stabilizer that helps with depression. Here is Dr. Tuft's reasoning. Yes, at that moment, given how the depression was continuing and worsening,

I did feel like after we had discussed the limittal numerous times, that I did need to step in and prescribe that for her. Now, all of these medical professionals were seeing Lindsay and prescribing her all of these different medications, meds that were not working, And unfortunately, these professionals were not working together. At no point did Dr. Tufts reach out to South Shore regarding Lindsay's mental health or her medication management. And South Shore never reached out to Dr. Tufts.

And now Lindsay was on a new cocktail of medications, Sarah Quill and Valium prescribed by Nurse Jolata, and Lamictal prescribed by Dr. Tuffs. And a lot of people have questioned why? Why was Lindsay running around to all these different professionals? And clearly it's because she desperately wanted help. When she felt like one doctor's treatment plan wasn't working, she tried again with someone else. But that one wasn't working either. She was desperate for relief and she couldn't find it.

With each new pill she took, Lindsay obsessively Googled information on the medication. There were times when she was Googling up to 100 times per night. She would look up things like what are benzodiazepines? What is Sarahquil? She would look up their side effects. reviews on the medication. Anything to try and get an understanding of what she was putting in her body and why it wasn't working for her.

Now following this appointment with Dr. Tufts, Lindsay emailed Nurse Gelada. She told her about the Lamectal prescription and she wanted to know what she thought about it. Nurse Jalada said she was in agreement with adding that medication to her current plan. But she still wanted Lindsay to increase her prescription of SeraQuil from 200 milligrams to 300. So, Lindsay did as instructed. That week, she was now taking Lamictal, Seraquil, and Valium. More medication than she had ever taken before. And as you've likely guessed, it didn't help.

Soon enough, Christmas was right around the corner. Decorations lined the streets. Christmas trees were seen in the window of every home in their neighborhood. In the years prior, Lindsay always made this holiday so special. She loved getting her children gifts, watching them get up on Christmas morning to see what Santa brought. She loved decorating the tree, building snowmen, and making cookies and hot chocolate with her children.

Corr's birthday was also on Christmas Eve, so that made this time of year even more special, but this year felt different. Lindsay's mental health was getting worse. She tried her best to stick it out, to push her own feelings aside to make the holiday special. On December 19th, Lindsay sat down for another virtual appointment with Councillor Letitia Dukes.

Letitia said that Lindsay seemed better than the last time she saw her. Lindsay reported that she was spending more time with her family, but depression still clouded everything. She reported feeling numb. She still couldn't sleep well. But she did say she was finally going to call the Women and Infants Hospital. It had reached that point. December 21, 2022 was three days before Korr's birthday,

four days before Christmas. And Lindsay finally made the decision to go to the women and Infants Hospital. That morning, Patrick dropped her off, and then he and Dawson spent the day skiing. But at the hospital, Lindsay told medical staff this. I feel numb and crazy depressed. My life is becoming a disaster. I messed up beyond repair.

It takes all the effort in the world just to breathe. But the thing that scares me the most, I can no longer feel fear. Now, Lindsay would speak to Dr. Zobeda-Diaz, who gave her that Edinburgh post-natal depression scale again. This time, Lindsay scored a 23, another increase from her last screening. Her generalized anxiety disorder seven-item score was a 21, the highest possible score, indicating severe anxiety. But despite these results, Dr. Diaz did not believe that she suffered from postpartum depression or bipolar disorder. In her note, she wrote that Lindsay had, quote, no history of hypomania or psychosis or family history.

Now, interestingly, there was a family history of postpartum depression. According to the Boston Globe, a psychiatrist at Women and Infants Hospital noted that Lindsay's sister Allison had postpartum anxiety. And that was in Lindsay's notes, but apparently it wasn't considered. Instead, Dr. Diaz believed that Lindsay's symptoms were largely due to being on all these different medications. In her note, she wrote that Lindsay was depressed because she was, quote, overmedicated, and having, quote, adverse drug effects. And because she didn't think Lindsay was suffering from postpartum

depression, Dr. Diaz actually refused to let Lindsay into the women and infants program. She wasn't the right fit, she thought. But going forward, Dr. Diaz did recommend that Lindsay start weaning off Sarahquil, which is the antipsychotic that seemed to make her symptoms worse. The medical team there said that they tried to contact Nurse Gillotta to discuss Lindsay's care going forward, but Nurse Jolada never responded. And after just eight hours in the hospital, Lindsay was sent home. On the ride back to Duxbury,

I can't imagine the frustration she felt. It was Christmas time. She had already mentally prepared herself that she would be spending the next two weeks there, finally getting answers, hopefully feeling better. But now, she was right back where she started. That night, after coming back home,

Lindsay had no idea what to do. She had no clear plan other than to work. wean herself off Sarahquil. She was so lost and confused about her next steps, she reached out to an old friend of hers who had tried the antidepressant lexapro. She asked the friend a number of questions about the medication, hoping that maybe she could try that one next, since none of the others had worked. It was clear that Lindsay was desperate to find help. Around this time, Lindsay also created a note in her cell phone with the title, Medication stole my motherhood and my life. In the note, she wrote this.

I was the healthiest, happiest mom. I worked out every morning, meditated, and took care of myself so I could be the best for my kids, until prescription medication stole me from my own body. Soon after being discharged from the women and infants' hospital, Lindsay reached out to Nurse Gelada to tell her the news. That Dr. Diaz wanted her to wean off the Sarahquil. Nurse Gelada said she wasn't opposed to Lindsay going off Syracul, but she was concerned that she had been discharged from the hospital.

So, Nurse Gelada responded to Lindsay saying, I'm concerned she discharged you as I do feel you could benefit from the groups and added support separate even from medication changes. In fact, if we're not going the medication route, I think groups in therapy are the treatment needed, as I feel the intrusive thoughts you've been having are nonetheless concerning, and I know they've caused you considerable distress. But again, there was no concrete plan going forward.

The only thing Lindsay was told to do at this time was to wean off. Sarahquil. And Nurse Gillotta wanted to hold off on that for now. With the Christmas holiday around the corner, Nurse Gillotta was going to be out of the office for two weeks. She worried that tapering Lindsay off the Sarahquil would be detrimental to her mental health. There was a risk of worsening mood and sleep. And because she was out of the office, she wouldn't be there if Lindsay needed her. So Nurse Gelada asked Lindsay if she would be comfortable seeing Dr. Jennifer Tufts while weaning off the sarahquil. And Lindsay said she was okay with that. Now, you can't just stop. taking medication. You have to wean off of it. So Nurse Jolada instructed her to take 200 milligrams of Sarah Quill for four nights, followed by 100 milligrams for another four nights, and then 50 milligrams for the last four nights. After the course of 12 days, Lindsay would be off Sarah Quill completely. Now following this, grasping at any sense of normalcy, Lindsay and Patrick continued working out together at the Kingsbury Club on multiple occasions, but Lindsay still couldn't shake her overwhelming thoughts, the depression, the anxiety, the suicidal ideation, it never went away. Patrick admitted

that Lindsay had stopped speaking about having thoughts of harming the children, and as far as the suicidal ideation, it never progressed to a specific plan. But underneath the surface, life had quickly become an unbearable nightmare. Soon enough, it was Cora's fifth birthday the day before Christmas. And as much as Lindsay wanted to be happy and celebrate her daughter, she was suffering. Everyone around them was concerned. Now, at some point, it's never been specified when. But on the family's computer, there was a Google search that read, Where is the carotid artery?

How to slit your throat and die? Can you turn airbags off Akea Sorrento? Now, we don't know who made these searches. That was never made clear. But Lindsay drove Akea Sorrento. Did she Google these things, planning to one day kill herself? That Christmas, Lindsay was able to spend the holiday with her family, but it was clear to her sister Allison that things were not good. In fact, Allison stated that

Lindsay was worse than she had been at the beginning of the month. Lindsay told her that her depression was getting worse, that she was having suicidal thoughts, and that the insomnia wouldn't let up. The suicidal thoughts, Lindsay told her sister, had been coming every single day for an entire month. She admitted the medications weren't working. She said she felt absolutely nothing, and that it scared her. Now, Lindsay's mom had spent almost the entire month of December. with Lindsay, but left on Christmas Eve to go spend time with Allison and her family. On Christmas Day, Lindsay, Patrick, and the kids had breakfast with Patrick's parents at their home, followed by a Christmas church service. Patrick's mom, Sue, admitted that breakfast was great

and church was beautiful. Lindsay even told Sue that she was glad they all went to church together. Then the Clancy's traveled to Connecticut to spend the rest of the holiday with Lindsay's parents. On December 27th, Lindsay called their pediatrician and scheduled an appointment, for Cora and Callan because they weren't feeling well. She drove them to the doctor and interacted with the staff. That same day, Patrick spoke to Lindsay's counselor, Letitia Dukes. He told her he was concerned about all the medications Lindsay was taking, but Leticia had no control over the medications,

and she told him he needed to speak to Nurse Gillotta. However, as we mentioned, Nurse Gelada was on holiday at the time, and by December 29th, Lindsay couldn't do it anymore. After attempting to wean off the Sarahquil, life had become unbearable. And finally, Lindsay told Patrick that she needed to be admitted into a psychiatric hospital. Now, the hospital in question is called McLean. It's a well-known, topped-ranked psychiatric facility in Belmont, Massachusetts. And it became Lindsay's last major attempt to understand what was happening to her,

and finally get the care she needed. At this point, Lindsay could hardly do anything. She couldn't get out of bed, she couldn't shower, she couldn't feel anything. On December 30th, Patrick called Nurse Gillotta's office, but she was still on her break. So he spoke to Nurse Katrina Malanson regarding Lindsay's declining mental health. He reported that Lindsay was safe, but things were getting worse, and that Lindsay wanted to go to McLean. The nurse told Patrick to take Lindsay to the emergency room immediately for evaluation. After hanging up the phone, this would be the last time that Lindsay or her,

Patrick never contacted South Shore perinatal behavioral health clinic. All in all, despite the numerous emails exchanged between Nurse Gelada and Lindsay and the constant medication changes, Nurse Gelada never reached out to any of Lindsay's other medical providers, when the two actually never spoke again, not even after Nurse Gelotta came back from her break. But later that same day, December 30th, Lindsay took Callan to the doctor. Even in the midst of her crisis, she was still concerned about her children's health. Following the doctor's appointment, Patrick and Lindsay drove back to the Mass General emergency room,

and it was there that the staff suggested she'd be admitted to McLean. Patrick said he was fully supportive of this. Because she was still talking about thoughts of suicide, and I was exhausted. I said I think it's time to go to McLean. And we just... didn't have a diagnosis. So we just didn't really know what was wrong.

And I think for me, I was hoping that McLean could really evaluate her and, you know, try to figure out the best path forward. Lindsay spent the majority of the night at Mass General, snapping a picture of herself as she lay in the hospital bed. At 3 a.m. on the morning of December 31st, she admitted herself and was transferred to McLean citing severe depression and suicidal ideation. Other symptoms included, feeling detached, hopelessness, no appetite or energy to perform activities of daily living, no motivation, and hedonia, racing thoughts, inability to organize thoughts, memory problems, anxiety, and insomnia. In addition, her judgment and insight were documented as limited.

Now, at McLean, Lindsay was placed in a locked unit with 15-minute suicide checks. Lindsay arrived on a Saturday morning the day before a major holiday, New Year's. Monday, January 2nd, 2023, was also an observed holiday. But Lindsay would later report that her time at McLean wasn't really what she expected. She later described a skeleton crew, saying no doctor visited her and that the nurses mostly stayed at their desk behind a glass partition. During her first few days, she spent her time doing puzzles, coloring, and playing with clay. She was also allowed to go on walks. While Lindsay was admitted into this hospital, her children missed her dearly. Cora even told her teacher how she felt about her mom's absence.

She missed her mom and she was vocal about that. Lindsay was a big part of the children's lives. It wasn't common for her to be gone this long, but she wanted to get better. While she was hospitalized, Lindsay's mom and Patrick's parents stepped in to help care for the kids while Patrick worked. When Patrick came to visit Lindsay at McLean, he said she seemed to be doing well compared to the other patients. He would later say, quote, there were people there who were like, clearly nuts, Lindsay seemed to have it together. At one point, she even texted him, quote, I don't belong here, end quote. During Patrick's visits, Lindsay also told him that she hadn't seen

or spoken to a doctor. Now, according to the prosecution, Lindsay was seen daily by a resident doctor, a licensed social worker, and a group therapist. However, according to Lindsay, she didn't see a doctor until Tuesday, January 3rd, several days into her stay. Now, later on, a licensed clinical social worker named Emily Thorndyke would speak out about McLean Hospital. She had worked there for seven years but left in 2021, one year before Lindsay was admitted. But according to Emily, McLean did not give their patients the best care. Emily said that there are typically about 23 patients at McLean at any given time.

And on a normal weekday, there are around four to five psychiatrists, that will divide up the 23 patients, making sure each get their individualized care. But Emily said that's only on the weekdays. On weekends and holidays, there's usually only one psychiatrist overseeing the 23 patients, which makes it nearly impossible to see all of them on the same day. Emily said if they do see all the patients, it's usually very rushed. And Lindsay Clancy was there on a holiday, New Year's. So it's very possible that she was telling the truth when she said,

she hadn't seen a doctor. Now, it was also mentioned that one-on-one therapy was offered every day in Lindsay's unit. But Emily argued that one-on-one therapy was not offered in Lindsay's unit at all. She said what the prosecution was referring to was daily check-ins by unlicensed individuals. During these check-ins, they asked generic questions like, how is your day? How'd you sleep? What's your treatment plan? Have you talked to your family? Do you feel safe? Lindsay went on to say that these check-ins occur every 15 minutes. It's a standard procedure to make sure all the patients are essentially alive. But it's not individualized care by any means.

It's simply a box to be checked on paperwork. Emily later said, quote, we are just visually putting eyes on them. It's just a hello, I see you, end quote. Now, the prosecution would later say that Lindsay was well enough to go on walks outside during her stay at McLean. But Emily said that 75% of the patients are granted, access to leave the building, and that the only patients who aren't allowed to go outside are the ones with acute safety concerns. The patients who can't be trusted to not harm themselves,

or the ones who are flight risks. Lindsay was not one of these people. After a few days of being at McLean and not feeling like she was getting the proper care, Lindsay wanted to go home. She missed her family. Cora's birthday was coming up, and Lindsay wasn't getting the relief that she expected while being there. So she asked to be done. discharged early. Now, social worker Emily Thorndyke said that that was completely normal for patients, especially for something pertaining to family, birthdays, holidays, graduations. In fact, according to Emily, the staff is encouraged to let the patients leave to go do something that will be good for their mental health. And in Lindsay's case, that was attending Cora's birthday.

But first, while at McLean, once the holiday ended, Lindsay was able to meet with the psychiatry team. Around this time, Lindsay's mother texted her asking how she was doing. And Lindsay responded with this. I'm all right. Anxious about meeting with the whole psychiatry team. I'm just worried they won't send me home soon. During her meeting with the psychiatrist team, Dr. O'Leah Goodhart advised Lindsay to stop taking Syracquil and benzodiazepines.

Instead, she prescribed her tracidone for insomnia. Ultimately, they also diagnosed Lindsay with a major depressive disorder, severe, without psychotic features. Once again, there was no mention of postpartum depression or psychosis. But it should be noted that Dr. Goodhart later testified that she had never even treated anyone with postpartum psychosis. How many patients have you treated, how many women have you treated that were suffering from postpartum psychosis? I don't recall. I don't remember, but I think it would stick in my memory, so I'd

don't think that I probably have. You don't think you probably have? I don't think I have. I haven't seen any. Oh, about post-partum depression? Yes. How many patients have you treated with post-partum depression? Over the last 20 years, I wouldn't, there are lots of patients I have seen.

I don't keep a record of what diagnosis I don't. what people I see. Now I want to take a quick second to talk about postpartum psychosis. It's considered a reversible mental health condition that affects people after giving birth. And while postpartum depression and anxiety are fairly common, postpartum psychosis is actually pretty rare. According to the Cleveland Clinic, it roughly affects, quote, between 0.089 and 2.6 out of every 1,000 births, end quote. Now, sadly, it was later said at trial that in the DSM-5, which is the diagnostic and statistical manual of mental disorders, they don't even have postpartum psychosis listed as its own separate diagnosis. In the entire thousand-page manual, it's only mentioned once on page 149.

Now, usually when evaluating someone with suspected postpartum psychosis, doctors will conduct a test on your thyroid function. Women with postpartum psychosis, women with postpartum psychosis, will have a higher rate of thyroid dysfunction, a physical indicator that something is amiss. But while at McLean, Lindsay's thyroid was never checked. Dr. Goodhart explained that blood was drawn, but only to test if there was medication abuse. But in their professional opinion, Lindsay was not experiencing postpartum psychosis. Dr. Goodhart believed she was simply a woman that had been overmedicated. Now, I also want to point out that Lindsay wasn't telling her doctors about the intrusive thought.

or the auditory hallucination she said she had. She never told them she had thoughts of harming her children. And there's been a lot of debate as to why she didn't tell them this. But according to some experts, it's because she was scared. Lindsay loved her children. The fact that she was having those thoughts at all was terrifying. But saying them out loud, that was even scarier. Of course, she had confided in the two people closest to her.

Patrick, the man who vowed to stick by her side, through better or worse. Their sickness and in health. And then she also told her mom, the woman who birthed her, who loved her unconditionally, but telling that to medical professionals, mandated reporters,

that was horrifying. Saying those things at loud could get her children taken away from her. Lindsay knew that. Being a nurse, she was a mandated reporter herself. According to everyone who knew Lindsay,

her children were her life. And the last thing in the world she wanted was for them to be taken away. So she kept those thoughts to herself, only telling Patrick and her mom. On January 4th, Lindsay attended a 40-minute group session for medication management, but she asked if she could go home for Cora's birthday party, which was scheduled for January 7th. Lindsay stated that she felt better and that her thoughts had improved since weaning off the Seroquel. She told Dr. Goodhart that she would never harm herself, citing her mother and children as reasons to live.

And from there, she was approved for discharge. Medical staff noted that she no longer had suicidal ideations or auditory hallucinations. The following day, on January 5th, Lindsay participated in a group session for expressive therapy, and after that, she went home. Court documents reported, Lindsay was discharged from McLean Hospital on January 5, 2003, after only a five-day stay, despite her documented limited insight and judgment, and was returned to the care of the same outpatient providers, who had been providing allegedly substandard care. Patrick later said that he had no idea Lindsay asked to be discharged or that it was her idea to leave early.

So he picked her up from McLean and the two drove back to Duxbury. But Lindsay once again felt defeated. She had been at one of the best hospitals in the country, yet she felt like they didn't give her the best care. And there was still a lingering fear that she would only get worse. If she did, what else was there to do? She had already exhausted all of her options. Now shortly after discharge, Dr. Goodhart called Lindsay and spoke to her about the possibility of other antidepressants, including amatryptylene.

The phone call only lasted 10 minutes. But on January 6th, Lindsay decided to do a follow-up appointment with the first doctor she had seen, Dr. Jennifer Tufts. Lindsay told Dr. Tufts that she had successfully weaned off the Sarahquil and was now taking 100 milligrams of tracodone, 1 milligram of Ativan, and 5 milligrams of melatonin. According to Lindsay, the tracidone and melatonin caused no side effects, but she still felt more anxious when the Ativan wore off. She said she was feeling numb. So this time around, Dr. Tufts diagnosed Lindsay with chronic major depressive disorder, single episode, moderate. The appointment lasted only 17 minutes. In her notes, Dr. Tuft said it was clear Lindsay's mental health was, quote, deteriorating.

It sounds like a very strong word. I will give some context that it's not my choice of a word. I have three options when I'm filling that out. I can say a patient is improving, unchanged, or deteriorating. So she wasn't improving and she wasn't really unchanged. She appeared a little bit worse than the last time I had seen her. So the best word is to say deteriorating. Around this time, Lindsay reached out to her sister Allison.

She told her that she was starting to feel better after we had. off the Sarahquil and wanted to look toward the future. And from the outside looking in, she was doing just that. On January 7th, the Clancy's hosted a birthday party for Cora at Nova Trampoline Park in Plymouth. Lindsay purchased all the items for the party and set it all up. But when the party came around, she didn't seem like herself. Here's her sister Allison describing this day. I think she looked like she was going through the motions of putting together a birthday

party for her daughter, but she looked tired. She looked like she was still struggling. Lindsay smiled. She thanked everyone for coming. Yet she had a hard time holding a conversation. She later said she struggled to understand what others were saying, but she did her best. A video from that day showed her bending over to light the candles on a chocolate cupcake, while Cora watched in excitement, wearing a pink paper crown. At this birthday party, Lindsay's friend Bethany was there. Lindsay had opened up to her in the past about her mental health struggles, and Bethany wanted to know if things had gotten better. So she asked her, how are you? How have things been? She responded that things haven't gotten any better and that she feels like a zombie.

But still, Lindsay continued showing up for her family. The day after Cora's birthday party, January 8th, the family went out together to the Museum of Science. For Patrick, he said it felt like the old Lindsay. She was interacting with Cora, Dawson, and Callan, playing with them, and participating in various activities. In a video shown in court, Cora can be seen playing with an exhibit. Lindsay Callan and Dawson were watching her play. Lindsay was interacting with all of her children,

pointing to them, showing them how to work the various activities. Once Cora was finished, Lindsay was seen helping Dawson with the same activity. And something I want to note, whether you believe Lindsay had postpartum psychosis or not, is that people that are experiencing this aren't always going to seem like they're in psychosis. One moment they might be perfectly fine, going about their daily routine, and then the next moment they slip into a psychotic episode.

On January 8th, Lindsay's mother texted her asking, did you sleep good? Lindsay responded, yeah. Patrick noticed this too. He later said, it gave me hope, especially because for the next few days, Lindsay's mood seemed to improve. They all went out to eat at the Charlie Horse restaurant, a family establishment with arcade games. According to Patrick, it was around this time when Lindsay started encouraging him to leave the house to go out and enjoy himself. Patrick said he thought she was taking a turn for the better. But under the surface, Lindsay wasn't getting better. In fact, according to Lindsay's lawsuit, her auditory hallucinations returned only one week after being discharged from McLean Hospital. Dr. Paul Zaisel testified this. She wasn't just having everyday thoughts that we all have reminding ourselves to do something,

which we make note of, and then we move on. Intrusive thoughts are unrelenting. They don't stop. They're what we call egos dystonic. You don't want them. They keep interfering with your ability to get through the day. Did she have, at this point, intrusive thoughts are continuing regarding voices in her head that she heard constantly? Yes.

What were these voices saying to her? They were getting worse and they were telling her to kill herself. Now, Lindsay was still concerned about her Ativan usage, so on January 9th, she returned to Dr. Tufts office and was prescribed Valium to help taper off the benzodiazepines. Dr. Tufts reported she would add an antidepressant at some point, but not right now. The following day on January 10th, Lindsay's mother texted her and asked how she was doing. Lindsay responded, Good, at the gym with the kids.

Paula then asked if she was feeling better during the day, and Lindsay responded, So far a little bit. Are you sleeping any better? Paula asked. Yeah, not perfect, but enough. A week off Sarah Quill should make more of a difference. So a couple more days till that, but I do think it's helping being off. But Lindsay's mom was still concerned. Lindsay had lost a lot of weight.

She had become, during this whole time, paranoid about different things that really she shouldn't have really weren't logical to become paranoid about she would mention that this wasn't her mind and she would say to me this isn't me I've never been like this before

and I would agree because she wasn't she was attempting to go through the motions of her day take care of the kids as best she could. She stopped, she didn't want to drive. So at times when Pat didn't go pick the kids up at school, I would drive Lindsay to pick the kids up at school

because she was afraid to drive. While Patrick was going out to brunch with his friends, Lindsay stayed home with Cora, Dawson, and Callan, sending him pictures of the fun they were having. Dawson drew a picture of a fireman putting out of fire, grinning ear to ear as Lindsay snapped a photo. She was going through the motions, but she was still struggling.

After trying all these different medications, she couldn't seem to figure out what to do next. Throughout her online research, Lindsay learned that in some cases, if someone is resistant to antidepressants, ketamine therapy can help with their symptoms. So, on January 11th, she emailed Dr. Tufts

and asked if ketamine therapy would be a good choice for her. In the email, she wrote this. I'm still feeling very low mood. No motivation. Just very depressed. This has been going on for months now, and I'm getting desperate for something that will work quickly to get me out of this depressed date. Dr. Tufts would later say that ketamine therapy is a good option for some people, but she didn't think Lindsay was ready for that just yet. She wanted her to continue with her current plan.

On January 12th, Lindsay once again turned to the internet for more information. How quickly does Welbutrin work for depression? Limitul for depression. Ellaville for depression. How to tell if you're sleep deprived or depressed. But in between these Google searches, where Lindsay's trying to figure out what's wrong with her, there are also Google searches that show just how much she cared for her children. Between December 31st and January 19th, she would Google things like... Pre-made goodiebacks, a child with bloated belly and lethargy, children's motron stores.

Is children's Tylenol the same as infants? Six-month-old whale windows, Earth's best organic beings. baby food, Earth's Best Organic Infant Formula, Best Kids Movies, Unicorn Picture, Paw Patrol, Chuckie Cheese, Fluffy Slime Recipe. Now around this time, Lindsay's mom texted her again, asking how she was doing. Lindsay said that she was doing okay and taking it day by day. She said her sleep was better, but she had spent most of the previous night awake with Kora because she had a stomachache.

A couple of days later, she spoke with her mom again, this time reporting that she was struggling. She told her mom that she wasn't feeling as good as she thought she would being off Seraquil. She still wasn't feeling like herself. But despite everything, Lindsay was still making time for her children. On January 15th, the family went to Cape Codder Resort, where they spent the afternoon at the indoor water park. Video surveillance showed Lindsay and Cora going down a slide together. Once again, Lindsay appeared normal, playing with the kids, holding Callin, and seemingly having a good time. doing better?

Her mood seemed better. She was more active and she was able to partake in more things. That day, Lindsay's mom, Paula, reached out again, asking if the kids enjoyed Kate Cotter. Lindsay responded with this. It was fun.

Cora and Dawson enjoyed. Callan didn't know what to think of it. Couldn't get any picks because it was too hectic trying to keep track of them and the water and stuff. And it was busy, but it was. was a good time. Paula then asked her, how are you doing?

And Lindsay responded with, A bit better, waiting for the day I wake up feeling like me. On January 16th, Patrick took Cora skiing with another dad and his son. Lindsay stayed home with Dawson and Callan. Throughout the day, she sent Patrick photos of what they were doing. And in turn, Patrick sent Lindsay a selfie of him and Cora on a ski slope. She also texted her mom a photo of Dawson and said, Hanging with the boys.

But according to Lindsay's lawsuit, she was still quietly struggling. The auditory hallucinations were getting worse, even though she didn't tell anyone. The lawsuit says she continued to hear, quote, you should harm the children, you should kill yourself, you will never be the same. The only option is to die.

But luckily that day, Lindsay had another telehealth appointment with Dr. Tufts. During the appointment, Lindsay said she felt like a zombie. It was very clear to Dr. Tufts that she had not improved at all. Her mood was still very low. She was still depressed. It was, she was able to get out of bed and take care of her basics, like hygiene and eating.

Her concentration was fine, and she was doing what she needed to do to take care of her baby, though she subjectively felt like the bonding was forced with the baby. During this appointment, Dr. Tufts also. decided that they would try another medication, amatryptylene. It's an older antidepressant that helps with insomnia, pain, and headaches. But by this point, Lindsay had already been prescribed over a dozen medications, all within the last four months, and none of those medications were working for her. The only one that brought any sort of relief was the Ativan, and she was still concerned about being addicted to it. On January 18, Lindsay Googled ketamine for benzodia-withdraw. The effect of

ketamine on preventing postpartum depression, ketamine for suicidal ideation. She also read two articles about ketamine therapy. One called Ketamine Saved My Life on Psychology Today and another called low-dose ketamine and postpartum depression and participants with prenatal depression on Clinical Trials.gov. In the meantime, Lindsay continued working out at the Kingsbury Club throughout January 2023, perhaps hoping that if she kept pushing through, she might start to feel better. it wasn't working. That week, her mom texted her again asking how she was doing. I started Amitryptylene two days ago, feel okay, just not great. But Lindsay was doing worse than she cared to admit. Throughout her postpartum journey, she reported feeling numb. She said she

couldn't feel fear anymore. These feelings, or lack thereof, made her feel like something was wrong with her. On the morning of January 19th, she started Googling postpartum psychosis, psychosis symptoms, and the word schizophrenia. In another text with her mom, she said, I'm feeling all right. Nothing new really yet, because it takes weeks to work, but I'm okay, sleeping decently, but the kids get up a lot. On January 20th, Lindsay was still feeling numb, void of emotion.

Her intrusive thoughts were dark, so much so that that night she turned to Google and typed in. What is a psychopath? Can you treat a sociopath? On Sarahquil, feel like I can't have. have conversation. Bulbutrin, ketamine, intrusive thoughts, hallucinations, Benzo withdrawal. Lindsay was desperate to make any sense of what was happening inside her mind. She also wrote in her personal journal. There were entries from October 13, 2012, and January 18th,

2003, where Lindsay documented her feelings. She wrote about the anxiety, insomnia, and mom guilt she experienced. She said that she felt like she had PTSD from hearing Call and Cry and not being able to do anything since they were sleep training. She also worried that Callan wasn't reaching his milestones, although she said that he was almost turning over his own. In her journal, she wrote, I feel disconnected from my baby. Lindsay expressed anxiety about her marriage to Patrick, writing that there was a disconnect between them and she wanted to be closer to him. Apparently, the two were no longer having sex. She also mentioned that she still hadn't gone back to work, and she had anxiety about spending the family money and not bringing in any of her own.

She had an irrational fear about the health of her children, and she was beating herself up for not breastfeeding anymore, admitting that she believed that was the only thing keeping her children's immune system up. Overall, Lindsay's journal entries showed a woman who was struggling in nearly every aspect of her life, but wanting to be a good mother and wife. On January 21st, Lindsay's parents came down from Connecticut to spend the weekend with her, Patrick, and the kids. It's also around this time when Lindsay texted her friend Amy Bevins. Amy and Lindsay had been friends since they were little girls.

And on this day, she updated Amy on how she was doing. She had shared that she was, had been taking a medication that caused her to have some dark thoughts, but that she was going to or had been weaning, like, tapering off that medication and was trialing new ones that would remove those side effects and be more helpful in therapy. to what she did then. On January 22nd, Patrick, Lindsay, Cora, and Dawson went to a family friend's house while Lindsay's parents stayed home with Callan.

Now Patrick Clancy had known Kyle Carney since college in 2009. Kyle was married to a woman named Sarah and they had known Lindsay for roughly 12 years at this point. Their children had grown up together. The two families were always gathering at each other's houses

or meeting up for dinner at the beach. Sarah Carney said that Lindsay was always a caring social person and someone she often sought advice from about her own children. Now on this day in particular, it was unseasonably warm and sunny. So the Carnies decided to invite the Clancy's over to roast marshmallows around a fire. Patrick would later say that while the kids ran around playing, Lindsay was quiet, but she still interacted with everyone. Kyle Carney's wife Sarah said that she had no idea Lindsay was struggling, although she had

noticed she had gotten thinner. I was talking to her about my children, my daughter's allergies, and then I, the conversation lulled and I asked her how she was doing. And what did she tell you? Good. The Clancy's didn't stay long that afternoon. Lindsay wanted to get home to put the kids down for a nap. That weekend, Lindsay was happy to have her parents around.

She and her mom even took a selfie together. But soon enough, it was time for them to head back to Connecticut. Shortly after they left, Lindsay's mom texted her. said, enjoyed seeing everyone this weekend, nice to see you doing better. However, Paula would later say that she didn't actually think Lindsay was better. Her text was more of an encouragement. The text from me was meant to encourage her because I didn't think it did any good to discourage her.

So the text was not necessarily what I actually observed that weekend, but it was meant to encourage her because I was encouraging her to do things. with the kids to kind of try to get back to normal. So it's not necessarily a representation of exactly what I observed that weekend. On Monday, January 23rd, Lindsay had another appointment with Dr. Tufts. During the 17-minute session,

Lindsay told her, quote, I'm a little more anxious, especially in the mornings. My heart is racing. I have no motivation. I feel numb. I have to force myself to get up every day. I have to force myself to leave the house.

Dr. Tuff, She wrote down everything Lindsay said. She noted that Lindsay's mood was flat, that she was still anxious, and that her sleep and medication efficacy were poor. And finally, she wrote that her psychiatric condition was unchanged. But according to Dr. Tufts, Lindsay said she had no side effects from the amytripylene. So Dr. Tufts increased the dosage from 10 milligram to 20 milligrams to help with sleep. So she said she was doing all right, a little more anxious, and the anxiety was described

is the feeling of her heart racing. She had a decreased appetite as well. She was on only two milligrams of valium at this point and feeling more anxious in the morning. Mood was the same, flat, anxious, you know, motivation. She has to force herself to get out of bed and out of the house, but is able to do that. And she is sleeping okay.

And did you ask her if she had suicidal ideation or homicidal ideation on the 23rd? Yes, I did. What was her response? No. And did you notice any symptoms or signs of psychosis that day? No. Later at trial, Dr. Donald Condi stated that Dr. Tuft's records were sparse, and there wasn't a lot of detail on what occurred during their sessions.

And this session in particular was very important, because unbeknownst to everyone, it was the last session Lindsay would ever have. After the appointment with Dr. Tufts, Lindsay went on with her day, caring for Callan while Patrick worked downstairs in the basement. That afternoon, she drove to pick up Cora and Dawson from their preschool learning sprouts. By this point, the preschool teachers knew Cora and Dawson well. Stephanie Williams was one of Cora's teachers, and this is how she described her. She was a sweet little girl who loved her little brother. She loved to draw, play with babies, play princess.

She liked Princess Sophia. She would pretend to be Princess Sophia, and she always talked about it. And I had actually bought a Princess Sophia puzzle for her. Cora's preschool teacher said that she was always such a joy to be around. And January 23, 2003 was no different. Cora went to school as she always did. However, when it was time for Lindsay to pick her up, Cora's teachers told Lizzie that she hadn't been feeling well that day.

Cora had gone to the restroom multiple times and her stomach hurt. Told her that Cora had napped and she had said she wasn't feeling well that the other teachers had told me that she hadn't been feeling well and that she was still laying on her cot. And what did Lindsay say or do after you told her that? She came into the classroom and picked her up off the cot and said, Oh, baby, come on, let's go get to Austin and we'll go home. Now Patrick later said that Cora's stomach issues were nothing new.

He said she was shy when it came to going number two at preschool, so she would hold it. But there was also talk about Cora having a possible urinary tract infection, which would make more sense as to why she was using the bathroom a lot that day. In regard to that, Lindsay was convinced that something was wrong with Cora's kidneys. But either way, whether she was having stomach issues or a UTI or both, Lindsay was worried. She even told the preschool teachers that she would be taking Cora to the doctor the following morning. As for Patrick, he said he hoped that after speaking with Cora's pediatrician, it would, quote,

bring Lindsay back to reality, end quote. But when the sun rose over Duxbury, Massachusetts, on the morning of January 24th, 2023, no one had any idea of the tragedies that lay ahead. And by the end of that day, the Clancy family and the town of Duxbury would never be the same. You can listen to Part 2 right now on our Patreon by clicking the link in the show notes. If not, we'll see you next week for part two of the Lindsay Clancy case. Hey everybody, it's Colin here. Thank you so much for listening to this week's episode of Murder in America. I know Courtney worked incredibly hard behind the scenes with our team of writers and researchers to bring this story to you guys.

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