Muscle for Life with Mike Matthews - 16 Destructive Things You Have to Stop Doing to Be Happy

Episode Date: October 23, 2017

This episode is part of a weekly series that I have dubbed “Motivation Monday.” (Yes, I know, very creative of me. What can I say, I’m a genius…) Seriously though, the idea here is simple: Every Monday morning, I’m going to post a short and punchy episode that I hope gets you fired up to tackle the workouts, work, and everything else that you have planned for the week ahead. As we all know, it’s one thing to know what you want to do, but it’s something else altogether to actually make yourself do it, and I hope that this series gives you a jolt of inspiration, energy, and encouragement to get at it. So, if you like what you hear, then make sure to check back every Monday morning for the latest and greatest installment. Want to get my best advice on how to gain muscle and strength and lose fat faster? Sign up for my free newsletter! Click here: www.muscleforlife.com/signup/

There will always be people that are smarter, prettier, happier, and wealthier than us. And many of them will probably never stop flaunting it on social media. Now, accepting this is one thing, but masoch, and welcome to another episode of my podcast. This episode is part of a weekly series that I have dubbed Motivation Monday. Yes, I know, so creative of me. What can I say? I'm just a genius. Seriously, though, the idea here is simple. Every Monday morning, I am going to post a short and punchy episode that I hope gets you fired up to tackle the workouts, work, and everything else that you have planned for the week ahead. Because it's one thing to know what you want to do, but it's something else altogether to actually make yourself do it.

And I hope that this series gives you a jolt of energy and encouragement to go ahead and do all of those things that you want to do. So if you like what you hear, then make sure to check back every Monday morning for the latest and greatest installment. Okay, so let's start with a quote. Sometimes death only comes from a lack of energy, and that is from Napoleon Bonaparte. Now, like many of life's great existential problems,

how to be happy is a very tough nut to crack. Decades of research have gone into it. Books come out every month on it. It's almost inscrutable, some people would say. Now, there are plenty of things that we can do to increase our happiness quotient. We can simplify our lives. We can cultivate mental toughness. We can find a passion. We can help others. can cultivate mental toughness. We can find a passion. We can help others. There are also plenty of things that we should stop doing though, if we don't want to spend our lives fighting the undertow instead of riding the wave. Now I know that there are a million articles and podcasts out there like this, X number of ways to be happy. And in this one, I just want to share 16 things that have made a difference for me. And the first one is stop being around shitty people. Never underestimate someone's ability

to make you feel inadequate, unwanted, and insecure. And never subject yourself to their brand of misery, no matter how much you might want them to like you. Ditch the friend, I put that in, you know, scare quotes, that's always making backhanded digs or one-upping you or pointing out all the flies in your soup or just making you feel like you constantly have to explain yourself. You have a right to choose who you share your life with. Exercise it. Two, stop trying to be perfect. I think that perfectionism is a great way to drive yourself and everyone around you absolutely bonkers.

Sometimes good enough is actually good enough. There's even a little scientific term that has been coined for this and it's satisficing. So it's satisfy and sufficing. And if you want to read a good little book on this, it's called The Paradox of Choice. I recommend you check it out. Anyways, back on track here. There's a difference between healthy ambition and perfectionism. Healthy ambition involves attention to detail and is focused on how you can improve. Perfectionism, however, is driven by fear and it's focused on what other people are going to think. Which brings me to number three, and that is stop being afraid of mistakes. Yes, failing sucks. It is indisputable

proof that we just weren't good enough, that our idea was crap, that our work was shoddy, that our idea was crap, that our work was shoddy, that our will was too weak. But the truth is everyone fails. Even the most successful people that you know, even the most wildly successful people in the world, in history, have failed. And in many cases, failed tremendously. They never got knocked out of the game. They never quit, but they had some hard knocks. Nobody bats 1,000 in life, period. So failing isn't what matters. It's what you do next. That's what really counts. And something that many people don't know about mistakes, little failures is the faster you're going, the less they matter. If you can just maintain speed and momentum, those things alone can carry you right on through the rough spots. time, attention, and effort to give to your life. And the things that you want to achieve most are

just going to cost a lot more of your resources than you probably think. Take this too far though, and while you may wind up successful by most people's standards, you will also wind up a lonely, bitter narcissist who would steal the pennies off of a dead man's eyes. What I've learned is that giving pleasure to others is what really keeps us looking forward to tomorrow. The sooner you learn that lesson, the better your life is going to be. And that actually even applies to money as well. You actually can buy some happiness by buying things for other people. There's research on it. Check it out. Hey, quickly, before we carry on, if you are liking my podcast, would you please help spread

the word about it? Because no amount of marketing or advertising gimmicks can match the power of word of mouth. So if you are enjoying this episode and you think of someone else who might enjoy it as well, please do tell them about it. It really helps me. And if you are going to post about it on social media, definitely tag me so I can say thank you. You can find me on Instagram at Muscle for Life Fitness, Twitter at Muscle for Life, Instagram at MuscleForLifeFitness, Twitter at MuscleForLife, and Facebook at MuscleForLifeFitness. Number five, stop pretending to be someone that you're not. I think that none of us should live our lives behind a mask of bullshit lest we forget it's even there. I think that we should just let people see the real us, flaws and all.

Sure, some people are going to like what they see and some people aren't, and there's really nothing we can do to change that anyway. We can't please everyone, no matter how hard we might try to become the best possible version of ourselves. Number six, stop pretending that things are better than they are. I think that when things aren't going right, we shouldn't try to believe otherwise. I think that self-delusion is pure cowardice. Just as we all make mistakes, we all have problems too. And similarly, having problems doesn't matter. What we do about them matters. No amount of mental gymnastics will make them go away. Only action. Number seven is stop trying to win the approval of others. Contrary to their beliefs, most people don't even know what's best for themselves, let alone what's best for you. So

I don't think we should use people in general as a universal sounding board on how we are living their lives. Unfortunately, most people can't even live up to their own standards. So why should we care how we're measuring up? I think we should keep our own counsel. We should make our own decisions and we really should just seek our own applause. And when people criticize us, it may be justified and that's probably worth reflecting on, but it also may just be that they're a piece of shit,

which brings us back to number one. Number eight, stop criticizing yourself. Now, would you berate a close friend for a minor oversight? Would you pick apart their early efforts at learning or doing something? Would you fake gag at their ideas in their faces? You probably wouldn't, right? So why do this to yourself? Why not be a good friend to yourself? Why not stop being your own worst enemy? Why not treat yourself

like someone you actually like and want to encourage and see succeed. Number nine, stop relying on others to make you happy. Saddling other people with the responsibility of making you happy is foolish. If you can't make yourself happy, nobody is going to be able to solve that puzzle for you. Sharing happiness with others is a give and take proposition. Unfortunately, we alone are ultimately responsible for our happiness and anything that others can offer us in this regard is going to require our own internal joy as a catalyst. Number 10, stop looking for shortcuts. Don't be the kind of person that tries to run between the raindrops of life. If you want to get anywhere, you're going to have to get wet.

It's just the way it is. Only suckers spend their time trying to work smarter, not harder, and they wind up going nowhere. Winners, they face the reality of what it takes to get where they want to go, and they just get the show on the road. Number 11, stop comparing yourself to others. It might taste like bug shit, but let's just get it down in one quick gulp. There will always be people that are smarter, prettier, happier, and wealthier than us. And many of them will probably never stop flaunting it on social media.

Now, accepting this is one thing, but masochistically shoving your face in it every single day is just destructive. Instead, we should learn to appreciate what we have. We should strive to make things better and we shouldn't worry about how we're measuring up to other people. Number 12, stop complaining. Complaining makes you weak. It makes you ineffectual. It leads to excusitis and constant commiseration. I mean, let's be real. If you are listening to this podcast, then I think we can say that our lives are fairer than they have ever been before. We're not going to die of some horrible disease. We're not going to starve to death. We're not going to die of some horrible disease. We're not going to starve to death. We're not going to be shipped off into the meat grinder of a world war.

We're not going to be sold into slavery. We have it pretty easy. Yeah, we have obstacles. We have problems. But these are also opportunities to show what we're really made of. And it's kind of a catch-22 as well, because the more that we overcome in our lives, the bigger the obstacles are going to become. Life is just a never-ending uphill battle. You can either accept this now or learn the hard way. Number 13, stop making excuses.

So if a general marches his army into the jaws of defeat. Nobody cares about his noble intentions or the unpredictable twists of fate that led to his demise. He failed and he will be judged accordingly by what happened, by results. Similarly, whatever you say, whatever I say really doesn't matter. Only the results that we produce in the real world matter. Those are the only things that carry real weight. Here's how Frank Lloyd Wright, the famous architect, put it, quote, and now after billions of years of experience and preconditioning on this earth from the development of the first one-celled amoeba to our present human complex, we have no valid excuse for not performing superbly. Number 14, stop blaming others. If you want to completely relinquish control over your

life, then you only have to do one thing. Just start blaming others for all of your failures and all of your problems. Now, if you want to earn the right to remain at the helm of your life, then you should go in the other direction. You should always seek to acknowledge your role in causing the circumstances that you face, both good and bad. Number 15 is stop worrying so much. No amount of nail biting is going to change the truth. so much. No amount of nail biting is going to change the truth. And that is much of life is simply outside of our direct control. Yes, we can keep our eyes on the road and we can keep our hands on the wheel, but we can't keep everyone else's eyes and hands where they need to be. And therefore sometimes shit happens. The simplest advice I've been able to find for fretting less is to just work for the

best, but prepare for the worst. Don't just hope things will go right. Make them go right. And if they don't go right, don't let it be because you didn't really try. Number 16 is stop procrastinating. Stop burdening future you with all the shit that present you should be doing. You know, all the things that if you started doing them right now, you know, would make your life significantly better. And on the flip side, you could also

add into that all the things that you are currently doing that you know if you stopped doing would immediately improve conditions. The reality is you're probably not going to have better willpower tomorrow than you have today. You probably don't need to wait. You probably should just start now before it is Mike again. I hope you enjoyed this episode and found it interesting and helpful. And if you did, and don't mind doing me a favor and want to help me make this the most popular health and fitness podcast on the internet, then please leave a quick review of it on iTunes or

wherever you're listening from. This not only convinces people that they should check the show out, it also increases its search visibility and thus helps more people find their way to me and learn how to build their best bodies ever too. And of course, if you wanna be notified when the next episode goes live, then just subscribe to the podcast and you won't miss out on any of the new goodies. Lastly, if you didn't like something about the show,

then definitely shoot me an email at mikeatmuscleforlife.com and share your thoughts on how you think it could be better. I read everything myself and I'm always looking for constructive feedback. So please do reach out. All right, that's it. Thanks again for listening to this episode and I hope to hear from you soon. And lastly, this episode is brought to you by me. Seriously, though, I'm not big on promoting stuff that I don't personally use and believe in. So instead, I'm going to just quickly tell you about something of mine. Specifically, my fish oil supplement, Triton. Now, Triton is a high-potency, high-purity, 100% re-esterified triglyceride fish oil

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