Muscle for Life with Mike Matthews - Book Club: 7 Habits of Highly Effective People by Stephen Covey

Episode Date: September 8, 2017

In this book, Covey takes you by the hand and says… “Look, if you want to live a good life, you can’t be an irresponsible, self-absorbed, insolent, small-minded, unenlightened, judgmental, delusional little child.” “You might be able to bullshit your friends, family, and even yourself, but you can’t bullshit the universe.” “For whatever reason, there are some basic rules to this game of living and if you work with them, you can win. Flout them and you’ll lose.” He then lays out…in way too many words…his ideas about what makes people effective and ineffective in life, and I wholeheartedly agree with many of his assessments. There’s a reason why it’s on just about every “books you have to read list”–it’s full of powerful insights that, if internalized, can truly change your life. I have to warn you though: you’re probably not going to like reading it, mainly because Covey isn’t much of a writer. It’s twice as long as it should be and a lot of the prose is purple, but it’s well worth the slog. Want to get my best advice on how to gain muscle and strength and lose fat faster? Sign up for my free newsletter! Click here: https://www.muscleforlife.com/signup/

Hey, this is Mike from Muscle for Life, and I'm often asked about books. People ask me for book recommendations on various topics. They ask me what book I am currently reading and what books I have recently read and what my favorite books are and so forth. And as an avid reader, I am always happy to oblige and get some book recommendations in return as well. I also just like to encourage people to read as much as possible because I think that knowledge benefits you much like compound interest benefits your bank account in that the more you learn, the more you know, and the more you learn, the more you know,

and the more you know, the more you can do, and the more you can do, the more opportunities you have to succeed. And on the flip side, I also believe that there is little hope for people who aren't perpetual learners. I know that might sound a little bit pessimistic or cynical to you, but let's face it,

life is overwhelmingly complex and chaotic. And if we look around, we can find plenty of evidence that it simply suffocates and devours the lazy and ignorant. So if you are a bookworm and you're on the lookout for good reads, or if you'd like to just get into the habit of reading more, then this book club is for you. The idea is very simple. Every week I'm going to share a book that I've particularly liked, and I'm going to tell you why I liked it and give you several of my key takeaways from it. I'm also going to keep these episodes short and sweet so you can quickly decide whether or not a book is likely to be up your alley or not. Okay, So this week's book is one you've probably heard of the seven habits of highly

effective people by Stephen Covey. And the bottom line here is if you want to gain more control over your life and destiny, and you aren't afraid of facing subjects that many people find very unpalatable, like responsibility, integrity, long-term thinking, and self-mastery, then you need to read this book. It's on just about every books you have to read list and for good reason. And in it, Covey takes you by the hand and he basically says, look, if you want to live a good life, you just can't be an irresponsible, self-absorbed, insolent, small-minded, unenlightened, judgmental, delusional little child, which is unfortunately where many people are at. You know, he says you might be able to bullshit your friends and your family and maybe even yourself, but you just can't bullshit the universe. For whatever reason, there are some basic fundamental rules to this game of life. And if you work with them, you can win. If you flout them, you lose. Period. Covey then goes on to lay out in way too many words, I might add, just

warning you, his ideas about what makes people effective and ineffective in life. And I really do wholeheartedly agree with many of his assessments and would attribute many of my own personal successes to the principles laid out in this book. That said, I do have to warn you, you are probably not going to like reading this book, mainly because Covey really isn't much of a writer in my opinion. This book is twice as long as it should be, and a lot of the prose is very purple. So you've been warned. However, I will say I do think it's worth the slog. And to demonstrate why, allow me to share my five key takeaways. And here's the first one. That which we obtain too easily, we esteem too

lightly. It is dearness only which gives everything its value. Heaven knows how to put a proper price on its goods. And my note here is these days, I think too many people wear themselves to a frazzle chasing easy. They don't want to learn about processes and paradigms. They just want shortcuts and handouts. You know, they don't want to plant in the spring and tend in the summer and then earn their harvest in the fall. They just want to

shirk and slack and reap a bounty that they didn't sow. And this seems to be particularly bad with today's youth, the people that I jokingly refer to as Generation Y, as in, why is it got to be so hard? And what these people, what they fail to realize or accept is that nothing truly easy is worth doing. Easy is boring. It's bland. It's the wormy fruit that fell off the tree several days ago lying around on the ground. Nobody respects easy. And as a corollary to that, I think that one of the greatest lessons that we can learn is the most difficult way to do something is in the long run, often the easiest. And the reason for that, of course, is it's the

only way that actually produces results. By doing the hard work that most people don't want to do, we can obtain the results of word of mouth. So if you are enjoying this episode and you think of someone else who might enjoy it as well, please do tell them about it. It really helps me. And if you are going to post about it on social media, definitely tag me so I can say thank you. You can find me on Instagram at MuscleForLifeFitness, Twitter at MuscleForLife, and Facebook at Muscle for Life Fitness. All right, takeaway number two, the way you spend

your time is a result of the way you see your time and the way you really see your priorities. My note here is that when people say they don't have time for things, it's almost always bullshit. What they're really saying is they just don't really want to do them. I really do think that there's very little that we're actually incapable of. There's just our sense of urgency and necessity. And if you have any doubts about that,

I mean, if you truly think that you don't have time to get your workouts in or read more books or whatever else, do yourself a favor and record for the next week, seven days, record how you spend every minute of every day. You can put it into a spreadsheet on your phone. You can carry a little miniature notepad around with you, whatever you want to do. And then at the end of the week, look back over how you spent your time. And you might be surprised at just how much time was wasted on less important stuff or even completely unimportant and fruitless stuff.

You know, I did this myself recently simply because I think it's a healthy exercise to do every so often. And what I get from it is it allows me to not only evaluate the worthiness of what I'm doing with my time, it also allows me to weigh my actions and activities against all the things that I'm not doing. Okay, moving on to the third takeaway. People are intrigued when they see good things happening in the lives of individuals, families, and organizations that are based on solid principles. They admire such personal strength and maturity, such family unity and teamwork, such adaptive, synergistic organizational culture. And their immediate request is very revealing of their basic paradigm.

How do you do it? Teach me the techniques. What they're really saying is give me some quick fix advice or solution that will relieve the pain in my own situation. And my note here is I don't personally believe in glib, ready-made roadmaps and formulas for happiness and success. I think that there are just too many personal and circumstantial variables. So the tactics that have worked well for me may or may not work well for you and vice versa. That said, I also believe that there are fundamental laws and principles that can provide all of us with guidance and direction and that help all of us chart more fruitful and satisfying courses in

our lives. And one of the reasons why I really like this book is I think it hits on quite a few of these laws and principles, things that have stood the test of time and in many cases are pretty commonsensical. For example, living according to values and virtues, accepting full responsibility for our conditions in life, doing the right things because they're right even when it's hard, and more. Okay, next takeaway here is, if our feelings control our actions, it is because we have abdicated our responsibility and empowered them to do so. And this one resonated with me because some of the most ineffective people I know live more or less exclusively according to their feelings, which generally manifests as whims and impulses. And on the other hand, some of the most effective people that I know live according to deep-seated values that they express through purposeful work. The former crowd generally suffer from a sense of personal

powerlessness and pointlessness, and their lives, from what I've seen, are often just an aimless wreck lacking in any structure or fixed points of reference. And the latter, though, they've chosen to internalize and organize themselves around very specific, carefully considered ideals and standards like courage or generosity or industry. And their lives are marked by orderly progression and expansion. Next takeaway. Real success is success with self. It's not in having things, but in having mastery, having victory over self. And my note here is Socrates once said that we should be less concerned with what we have than what we are. And I really do think that those words couldn't

be more relevant today. First, we have millions of people out there that think that they are going to be happy when they have the thing, when they have the better job or the more money or the better girlfriend or boyfriend or whatever. And unfortunately, science even shows now this just doesn't work. Once you have the thing, all that happens is those goalposts, they just shift and whatever you now have is no longer good enough. those goalposts, they just shift and whatever you now have is no longer good enough. Then you can fall into the same trap, which is believing that, oh, well now you just need that new thing over there. The next thing, that's what's going to make you happy. It doesn't work. And you can repeat this ad nauseum until finally one day you throw your hands up and just become a nihilist. And another point worth mentioning here in relation to what

we are versus what we have, self-love is, it's all the rage right now, vulnerability, self-love, and especially here in the health and fitness space. According to the hordes of Insta philosophers out there, we should just accept ourselves the way that we are, blemishes and all, and we should stop putting pressure on ourselves to be something more and stop insisting that we're not good enough. And my instinctive reaction is why the hell would we want to do that? No matter how many self-affirmations we recite in the mirror, we know that we are deeply flawed, every single one of us. And if we abandon the quest to gain dominion over ourselves, we're also going to abandon our self-respect because, you know, let's face it, we're just going to have a very hard

time truly liking ourselves. And who can blame us? Really? I mean, how can we delight in our inability to control our feelings, actions, and lives? inability to control our feelings, actions, and lives? How can we learn to celebrate our virtual absence of self-mastery? And how can we come to just admire the magnitude of our ignorance and incompetence? And more importantly, why? Why would we want to do those things? Sure, we might be able to figure out how to lull ourselves into a sort of self-abnegating apathy or psych ourselves up with superficial self-talk, but deep down, we're always going to know the truth. We're going to know that real lasting self-esteem comes from victory over

ourselves, from true independence. helps boost visibility, which ultimately helps more and more people find their way to the show and check it out. And of course, if you want to be notified when the next episode goes live, then simply subscribe to the podcast and you won't miss out on any of the new stuff. And lastly, if you didn't like something about this episode or just about the podcast on the whole, then definitely shoot me an email at mikeatmostofallife.com and share your thoughts on how I could make things better. I read all the emails myself and I'm always looking for constructive feedback. So thanks again for listening to the episode and I hope to hear from you soon. Oh, and before you leave, let me quickly tell you about one other product of mine that I think you might like. Specifically, my fitness book for men, Bigger, Leanerer, stronger. Now this book has sold over 350,000 copies in the

last several years and has helped thousands of guys build their best bodies ever. And that's why it has over 3000 reviews on Amazon with a four and a half star average. So if you want to know the biggest lies and myths that are keeping you from achieving the lean, muscular, strong, and healthy body that you truly desire. And if you want to learn the simple science of building the ultimate male body, then you want to read or listen to Bigger, Leaner, Stronger today, which you can find on all major online retailers like Audible, Amazon, iTunes, Kobo, and Google Play.