Muscle for Life with Mike Matthews - Motivation Monday: Beware the “Self-Made” Myth

Episode Date: August 27, 2018

This episode is part of a weekly series that I have dubbed “Motivation Monday.” (Yes, I know, very creative of me. What can I say, I’m a genius…) Seriously though, the idea here is simple: Every Monday morning, I’m going to post a short and punchy episode that I hope gets you fired up to tackle the workouts, work, and everything else that you have planned for the week ahead. As we all know, it’s one thing to know what you want to do, but it’s something else altogether to actually make yourself do it, and I hope that this series gives you a jolt of inspiration, energy, and encouragement to get at it. So, if you like what you hear, then make sure to check back every Monday morning for the latest and greatest installment. Want to get my best advice on how to gain muscle and strength and lose fat faster? Sign up for my free newsletter! Click here: https://www.muscleforlife.com/signup/

Hello there, this is Mr. Michael Matthews from Muscle for Life and Legion Athletics. And this episode of the podcast is going to be a chapter from my newest book, which is coming out on August 30th called The Little Black Book of Workout Motivation. And this week's chapter is chapter number 14 called Beware the Self-Made Myth. And this one was a lot of fun to research and write because in it I talk about one of the longest running observational studies ever conducted and what it can teach us about the factors that most contribute to human well-being. As you can probably guess by the title of this chapter, it has something to do with our

relationships with other people. And something else kind of neat that you'll find in this chapter is what I think is probably the simplest life hack, quote unquote, out there for increasing your chances of success and satisfaction in every area of your life. Really, it's very easy to incorporate into your daily routine. It takes just five minutes and it actually can change your life. And if you like what you hear in this chapter, then I think you are going to really like what else I have to share in the book. And if you pre-order a copy now on Amazon, you can enter

to win a couple thousand dollars in prizes that I'm giving away, including an all expenses paid trip to Washington, DC to meet me and the rest of the team, hang out, work out, whatever. We'll do a whole day together. And you can learn more about the pre-order campaign, the giveaway and so forth at www.workoutmotivationbook.com. And the instructions on how to enter the giveaway are there. I also should mention that if you like to listen to me speak, then you should definitely check out the audio book because I recorded it myself and I'm really happy with how it came out. And if you don't have an Audible membership, you can actually get it for free when you sign up for a free trial. And if you want to check that out, go to www.workoutmotivationbook.com slash audiobook, and that will forward you along to the correct URL so you can get the audiobook

for free. All right, well, that's it for now. Let's get to the sneak peek. for free. All right, well, that's it for now. Let's get to the sneak peek. Chapter 14, Beware the Self-Made Myth. I've learned that you shouldn't go through life with a catcher's mitt on both hands. You need to be able to throw something back. Maya Angelou. The Grant Study is one of the longest-running observational studies ever conducted. It began in 1938 and has followed the lives of 268 Harvard undergraduate men for 75 years, measuring an astonishing number of psychological, anthropological, and physical traits ranging from personality type to IQ, drinking habits, family relationships, and even hanging length of his scrotum. You never know what the data might reveal. This project was undertaken to determine what factors contribute most to human

well-being, and George Valent, who directed the study for over 42 years, published its most striking findings in his 2012 book, Triumphs of Experience. Among them are the obvious, alcoholism is incredibly destructive, the encouraging, moderately intelligent people have the same earning potential as highly intelligent folk, and the peculiar, politically left-leaning men tend to be more sexually active later in life. The crown jewel of the entire endeavor, however, is the single factor that appears to be most powerfully correlated with flourishing, the warmth of your relationships. flourishing, the warmth of your relationships. The 75 years and $20 million expended on the grant study points to a straightforward five-word conclusion, Valant says.

Happiness is love, full stop. The men who scored highest on measurements of warm relationships earned more money than those who scored lowest, achieved more professional acclaim, and experienced less anxiety, dementia, and other disorders. Valent's best advice to all of us who want to be healthy and happy, then, is to cultivate positive and meaningful relationships. This conclusion has been supported by other research as well. For example, a study conducted by scientists at the University of Michigan looked at 270,000 people in nearly 100 countries and found that while both family and friends are associated with happiness and better

health, as people got older, the health benefits remained only in those who had strong friendships. It turns out Valence guidance is pretty good fitness advice too, because your relationships can also significantly impact your diet and exercise habits. In one study conducted by scientists at Harvard University, a person's chances of becoming obese increased by 57% if they had a friend who had become obese. Among pairs of siblings, if one became obese, the chance that the other would become obese increased by 40%. If one spouse became obese, the likelihood that the other would become obese increased by 37%. This phenomenon cuts the other way too.

In her 2017 book, The Transformational Consumer, Tara Nicole Nelson shared the following data from her time working at MyFitnessPal. Users who shared their food diary with friends lost twice as much weight as those who didn't. Users who had 10 or more friends in the app lost four times as much weight as users who went it alone. 56% of users said they preferred to exercise with others because it made them more likely to show up and work hard. them more likely to show up and work hard. Even Arnold Schwarzenegger has said he couldn't have made it as a bodybuilder, actor, businessman, and politician without all the help he received from many people at every point in his journey. You can call me Arnold. You can call me Schwarzenegger. You can call me the Austrian oak. You can call me Schwartzy. You can call me Arnie.

But don't ever, ever call me the self-made man, he said in his 2017 commencement address at the University of Houston. The whole concept of the self-made man or woman is a myth. He went on in that speech to share parts of his story that you don't hear in motivational monologues and biographical sketches. Arnold's mother tutored him through school. His father taught him how to play sports and develop discipline. A lifeguard taught him how to do his first chin-up. Coaches taught him weightlifting and powerlifting.

Fitness magnate Joe Weider brought him to America and gave him a place to live. Men and women patiently gave him acting, voice, English, speech, and accent removal lessons. Studio executives, producers, and directors found roles for him. Teams of specialists worked tirelessly to make him look and sound great on the silver screen. And Jay Leno helped him announce his candidacy for the governorship on his late night show. So this is why it is important for all of us to recognize, and this is why I tell you, on every step of the way, I had help, Arnold said. And the reason why I want you to understand that

is because as soon as you understand that you are here because of a lot of help, then you also understand that now is time to help others. That's what this is all about. You've got to help others. Don't just think about yourself. Help others. I couldn't agree more. You wouldn't be reading this book if I hadn't received the help, directly or indirectly, of literally thousands of people. Researchers, writers, readers, followers, colleagues, friends, and family, to name a few. To say nothing of all the people who have helped me get into a position where I could write the book in the first place. I scoff at the notion of being a self-made man. I was taught at an early age that no matter what you want to do,

don't try to go it alone. You won't get very far. Most of us assume that people achieve success and then start giving back, Dr. Adam Grant said in a 2013 interview in Scientific American. But what if the opposite is true? Could it be that giving first actually leads people to succeed later? Dr. Grant provides a thoughtful answer to that question in his 2013 book, Give and Take, where he explains why some of the most successful people in not just business but life in general are in fact classic givers, people who genuinely try to help those around them. Use this insight to your advantage. Every aspiration of yours is going to require help from others, which means you will always have opportunities to give

back. If you can find joy in that reciprocation and strive to give more than you take, you will become what Dr. Grant refers to as a giver, and your chances of personal success and satisfaction will increase markedly. An easy way to incorporate this into your daily routine is to recruit a friend or friends to work out with you. You will all benefit from this in several ways. You'll be there to spot each other and help improve each other's technique. You'll provide each other with accountability and external motivation. You'll help each other stick to your diet and exercise programs better. You'll help each other push harder in your

workouts. You'll help each other have more fun in your workouts. Another easy way to do more giving is to remember that it doesn't require that we try to become Mother Teresa or Mahatma Gandhi. It simply means finding ways to add value to others' lives, and it doesn't have to cost more than five minutes of our time. As Oprah Winfrey once said, no gesture is too small when done with gratitude. Winfrey once said, no gesture is too small when done with gratitude. This can also have a ripple effect in your life by encouraging the people you touch to do the same for the people they can touch who can be encouraged to do the same and so on. What could these five-minute favors be? Whatever people might find helpful. For example, you could share a useful book recommendation, introduce them to someone who might be able to help them,

strike up a conversation with the person at the social gathering nobody is talking to, send a handwritten note to thank them for something they did, even if it's just being a good friend, teacher, boss, or mentor. Compliment them on something they did well. Share, comment, or retweet something of theirs on a social network. Offer feedback or a testimonial on a product or service. You get the idea. The possibilities are endless. Recommended Reading Give and Take by Adam Grant Do this now.

Your mission is to do seven five-minute favors for people you care about over the next seven days, with no strings attached or repayment expected. Think of seven such favors you could do and write them down. Then do one favor per day for the next seven days. which again is coming out August 30th. And if you go pre-order a copy now, you can enter a giveaway that I'm holding, a book launch giveaway, a celebration of a couple thousand dollars in prizes, including an all expenses paid trip to Washington, DC

to meet me and the team and hang out, workout, whatever we wanna do. We'll go have fun for a day. You can learn more about that at www.workoutmotivationbook.com. As always, thank you for all of your support and who knows, maybe I will be seeing you soon. Oh, and before you leave, let me quickly tell you about one other product of mine that I think you might like. Specifically, my fitness book for women, Thinner, Leaner, Stronger. Now this book

has sold over 300,000 copies in the last several years, and it has helped thousands of women build their best bodies ever, which is why it currently has over 1,500 reviews on Amazon with a four and a half star average. So if you want to know the biggest lies and myths that keep women from ever achieving the lean, sexy, strong, and healthy bodies they truly desire. And if you want to learn the simple science of building the ultimate female body, then you want to read thinner, leaner, stronger, which you can find on all major online retailers like audible, Amazon, iTunes, Kobo, and Google play. Now, I should also mention that you can get the audiobook 100% free when you sign up for an Audible account, which I highly recommend that you do if you are

not currently listening to audiobooks. I myself love them because they let me make the time that I spend doing things like commuting, prepping food, walking my dog, and so forth more valuable and productive. Now, if you want to take Audible up on this offer and get my audiobook for free, simply go to www.thinnerleanerstronger.com slash audiobook, and you will be forwarded to Audible. And then just click on the sign up today and save button, create your account, and voila, you get to listen to Thinner, Leaner, Stronger for free.