Muscle for Life with Mike Matthews - Motivation Monday: The Great Art of Sacrifice

Episode Date: October 2, 2017

This episode is part of a weekly series that I have dubbed “Motivation Monday.” (Yes, I know, very creative of me. What can I say, I’m a genius…) Seriously though, the idea here is simple: Every Monday morning, I’m going to post a short and punchy episode that I hope gets you fired up to tackle the workouts, work, and everything else that you have planned for the week ahead. As we all know, it’s one thing to know what you want to do, but it’s something else altogether to actually make yourself do it, and I hope that this series gives you a jolt of inspiration, energy, and encouragement to get at it. So, if you like what you hear, then make sure to check back every Monday morning for the latest and greatest installment. Want to get my best advice on how to gain muscle and strength and lose fat faster? Sign up for my free newsletter! Click here: www.muscleforlife.com/signup/

Hey, this is Mike from Muscle for Life and welcome to another episode of my podcast. This episode is part of a weekly series that I have dubbed Motivation Monday. Yes, I know, so creative of me. What can I say? I'm just a genius. Seriously though, the idea here is simple. Every Monday morning, I am going to post a short and punchy episode that I hope gets you fired up to tackle the workouts, work, and everything else that you have planned for the week ahead. Because it's one thing to know what you want to do, but it's something else altogether to actually make yourself do it. And I hope that this series gives you a jolt of energy and encouragement to go ahead and do all of those things that you want to do. So if you like what

you hear, then make sure to check back every Monday morning for the latest and greatest installment. The value of a thing sometimes lies not in what one attains with it, but what one pays for it, what it costs us. Friedrich Nietzsche. Many years ago, the legendary golfer Gary Player was hitting balls in the range while enthusiasts looked on in awe. Man, I would give anything to be able to hit a golf ball like you, someone in the gallery called out. Now, Gary, he walked over to the guy and he calmly replied, no, you wouldn't. Yes, I would. I'd give anything to hit like that, the man said. No, you wouldn't, the Hall of Famer repeated. You wouldn't be willing to do what it takes. You have to rise early in the morning. You have to hit 500 balls until your hands bleed. Then you stop, you tape your hands, and you hit 500 more balls. The next morning, you're out there again

with hands so raw you can barely hold your club, but you do it all over again. If you do that through enough years of pain, then you can hit a ball like that. The man was dumbfounded. Not only was Gary right, he definitely was not going to do that. He actually couldn't believe that the pro had to work that hard to make it. He assumed, as many people do, that such an elite performer had just ascended to the top of his profession on a lucky wave of inborn talent and divine providence. American culture is particularly enamored of this myth. We scorn workaholism and we love stories of mysterious prodigies that accomplish great things with apparently effortless grace. We thrill when Matt Damon's character in Good Will Hunting scoffs at

mathematical proofs that have stumped the brightest minds at MIT. If you've seen the movie, you know what I'm talking about. Do you know how easy this is for me? This is a fucking joke. We hiss when captains of industry ascribe their success to sweat, blood, and toil. And we dream of maybe one day stumbling into our own latent superpowers that will put us on the fast track to fame and fortune. Well, as much as we might want to believe this tale, it's simply not true. While some people do come better suited to certain activities than others, decades of research into human performance has made it abundantly clear that both innate talent, nature, and environmental factors, nurture, play backseat roles in the development of greatness. For example, a striking

number of legendary artists lived and worked in Renaissance Florence in the 15th century, including Leonardo da Vinci, Raphael, Brunelleschi, Michelangelo, Verrocchio, Donatello, and others. Why? Genes alone can't explain this phenomenon, and neither can environmental considerations. Because how could so much natural talent just accumulate in one place in a couple generations? And exactly how were Florence's rather tumultuous political and economic landscapes conducive to the practice and development of high art? Well, if the nature and nurture theory can't account for this remarkable flowering, what might have caused it? One theory that I find compelling is the fact that in Renaissance Florence, it was common for young boys to begin apprenticeships in craft guilds

where they would work under the close supervision of skilled artists. Michelangelo, for example, began his apprenticeship at age six, starting with stone cutting and then moving on to sketching and creating frescoes. Similarly, Leonardo da Vinci didn't get his quote unquote big break as an artist until he was 46 years old with The Last Supper. The genius present in his work was not inherited. It was forged through thousands of hours of deep, difficult work. How many people marvel at Michelangelo's David or Leonardo's Mona Lisa every single day and mutter that they would give anything to be able to sculpt or paint like that? How many people burn for a new body, job, partner, or life and proclaim that

they would do anything to grab that brass ring? No, they wouldn't. They would not hammer until their hands bled and then hammer some more. They would not crawl out of bed every single day into the cold darkness of dawn to train. They would not burn the midnight oil to become the type of person that deserves the better job, partner, or life. Instead, they actively avoid whatever's difficult and uncomfortable. They live according to their feelings and impulses, and they decry life's challenges as unfair and people's criticisms as hurtful. They don't want processes and paradigms. They want shortcuts and secrets. They don't want to plant in the spring and tend in the summer to earn the harvest in the fall. They want to shirk and slack

and reap bounties that they didn't sow. In short, they lack the discipline to consistently trade today's pleasure and gratification for tomorrow's security and satisfaction. And if they consider their future prospects at all, they're unrealistically optimistic in their forecasts, envisioning best case scenarios and not most likely outcomes. And we can sympathize with this plight, of course, because let's face it, discipline is hard. Maybe one of the hardest skills that we can try to cultivate. We are, all of us, by nature, flawed and fickle creatures that really aren't wired for scrupulous self-control, but instead for freewheeling novelty

and stimulation. A very powerful and primal part of us will blithely tell us exactly what we want to hear instead of showing us really how far we still have to go. Don't worry, it'll coo. A cosmic force will deliver you from the pain, misery, and despair on the horizon. Keep going, it'll counsel. The dark stour is always before the dawn. And onward we will go, marching calmly to our dooms. How do we avoid this fate? How can we outmaneuver and overcome this deep-seated programming? Well, I think that we can start by evaluating our relationship with sacrifice. Because while we may say that we want many things in life, if we're not willing to make the requisite sacrifices to get them, we're just pretending. Ingmar Bergman was a Swedish director and producer of over 60

films and documentaries and 170 plays, and is widely considered one of the greatest and most influential movie makers of all time. Do you know what movie making is? Bergman asked in a 1964 interview, eight hours of hard work each day to get three minutes of film. And during those eight hours, there are maybe only 10 or 12 minutes if you're lucky of real creation. And maybe they don't come. Then you have to gear yourself for another eight hours and pray you're going to get your good 10 minutes this time. Of his work, Pulitzer Prize winner Arthur Miller said this, I get up in the morning and I go out to my studio and I write, and then I tear it up. That's the routine really. Then occasionally something sticks and then I

follow that. The only image I can think of is a man walking around with an iron rod in his hand during a lightning storm. James Joyce estimated that he spent nearly 20,000 hours writing Ulysses. 20,000 hours. That's nearly seven years working eight hours per day, seven days per week on one book. A book that would ultimately become the most acclaimed work of fiction ever created. Frederick Chopin's innovative, nuanced, and technically challenging compositions have established him as one of the greatest composers and pianists of all time, but his creative process was far less harmonious than his masterpieces. Without foreseeing or seeking it, a melody or

tune would just come into his mind, and then he would lock himself up in a room for days and begin a desperate, heart-rending quest of trying to get what was in his head down on paper. He repeated bars hundreds of times, writing and rewriting everything. He once spent six weeks on a single page of music, only to finish with what he first produced. He wept, paced, broke pens, and struggled to find the motivation to get out of bed each day and persevere. And after finally completing a composition, he often regretted that what was left wasn't clearly as defined as what he had originally imagined. Hey, quickly, before we carry on, if you are liking my podcast, would you please help spread

the word about it? Because no amount of marketing or advertising gimmicks can match the power of word of mouth. So if you are enjoying this episode and you think of someone else who might enjoy it as well, please do tell them about it. It really helps me. And if you are going to post about it on social media, definitely tag me so I can say thank you. You can find me on Instagram at Muscle for Life Fitness, Twitter at Muscle for Life, and Facebook at Muscle for Life Fitness. So you say you want a beautiful body. You want a strong, muscular, lean body. Well, that's nice, but what are you willing to sacrifice for it? Are you willing to hit the gym every day instead of watching TV? Are you willing to stop eating so

much of the foods that you know you shouldn't be eating? Are you willing to give every workout everything you've got? In other words, do you have the discipline to sacrifice the immediate benefits of the things that you want to do and instead pursue the prospective benefits of the things that you know you should do? You see, if you can't answer these questions with steely-eyed determination, then you don't really want that beautiful body. And until you can do that, you will never get it. Remember, nothing fails as spectacularly as half measures. Unfortunately, our culture seems to have forgotten this fundamental law of living. Instead, too many of us believe that everything in life should be pleasurable. So we constantly search for distractions, shortcuts, and loopholes that will enable us to escape any and all forms of physical

and psychological pain and discomfort even our self-help books speak in soft flattering tones reassuring us that we are just fine the way that we are and that with enough positive self-talk and self-love the universe will award us with abundance and bliss. This is in stark contrast to times of old when sacrifice was a sacred act that delighted the gods and earned blessings in return, whether in the form of plentiful harvests, success in war, or personal absolution. In Japan, for example, it was believed that sacrificing a woman at a rushing river would satisfy the spirit who lived there, allowing for the construction of bridges and the safe passage of boats. In the Bible, God sacrifices his only son for the sins of mankind. In Greek myth, Agamemnon killed his own daughter in exchange for a favorable wind on

the way to Troy. The great civilizations of Mesoamerica killed people, smashed food, and sank treasure to pay their debts to their gods. Now, we look at such practices and stories as superstitious relics of our barbaric past, and while I wouldn't argue that we should slit a sheep's throat with next January's New Year's resolutions, what do you think might happen if we did? And I'm not asking that rhetorically. I'm asking that seriously. How much more sincerely might you take those vows if you had to spill blood over them? And then, how do you think society might change if everyone else did the same thing? You see, we've been watching people succeed and fail for thousands of years now, and we've been distilling and codifying our

findings and observations. And here's a lesson that we seem to have learned a very long time ago. The people that win make the right sacrifices and the people that lose don't. That's a rather unforgiving and unpalatable idea, but it's also a powerful and empowering one because what it says is that there's really no telling what you might be able to do and achieve if you're willing to pay the price. I think it's also a warning because look around, life is fraught with peril, tragedy, suffering, and there are innumerable ways to court chaos and reap the whirlwind. And if we want to steer clear of as much catastrophe as possible, then I think we'd better get really serious about making the necessary sacrifices now for the sake of our

futures. Now, what kind of sacrifices are those? You might be wondering. Well, I think we can start with the obvious. Let's just start with the things that we're currently doing that we know we shouldn't be doing. The things that, if stopped, would immediately make our lives better. You know, things like eating too much sugar or fast food, watching too much TV, playing too much video games, spending too much time on the internet or social media, spending too much money on things we don't really need,

going to bed too late, drinking too much coffee and alcohol, and on and on and on. Whatever your list is, and we all have one, let's be honest, Take a moment now and try to imagine how your life might change over the next year or two if you were to sacrifice these malignant parts of you. Now try to imagine what that future might look like if you were to also make the sacrifices of time, attention, and effort necessary to do the things that you know you should be doing, like maybe eating healthy or exercising regularly, working harder, educating yourself, budgeting and saving money, whatever those things might be for you. Who do you think you might be able to become if you did all of that? To what heights might you be able to rise? You know, honestly, I don't think that any of us know the real answers to those questions.

We might have intimations of our true potential, but rest assured, we are all capable of much more than we currently believe. Now, I know that may sound like new age claptrap, but there is abundance evidence of it in the scientific literature. evidence of it in the scientific literature. The classic example is one you've probably heard of, and that is the marshmallow test that is now synonymous with temptation, willpower, and grit. This research began in the 1960s at Stanford University, where Walter Mischel taught psychology. Now, Mischel and his graduate students conducted an experiment wherein children were seated in a room and given the choice of their favorite treat. You know, they had things like marshmallows, mints, and pretzels, also with the option to have one treat now or two later after the researcher had left and come back. The colleague then left the child in the room alone with the goodie and told him to speak up

if he couldn't wait any longer. The research team then secretly observed the children to see how they'd handle themselves. Now, naturally, many of them just ate the treats straight away. Others waited a little bit and then gave in, but some of them managed to hold out until the scientist returned. Each of the latter children used the same strategy to accomplish this. They simply distracted themselves from the treat by singing, playing with their chairs, and other similar activities. Many years later, Mitchell and his team followed up with the children and found that those who had successfully waited for the second treat were faring markedly better in life than those who hadn't. They had higher SAT scores and education levels and lower

body mass indexes, better personal relationships, and they rated higher in various life measures including persistence, creativity, foresight, and others. Now these studies have since been criticized as inadequate for supporting such sweeping conclusions, but I believe that the takeaway rings true nonetheless. The willingness to sacrifice immediate gratification for future rewards is highly correlated with the ability to create a better life. What most stands in our way of being able to do this though? Most people, they would say they just lack the willpower or self-control, but it's really not that simple because while our ability to tap into willpower and exert self-control is definitely influenced by our

genetics and upbringing, it's not an immutable element of our biology. We can influence these things greatly through our choices, our mindsets, our decisions, our environments. For example, if we choose to believe that our capacity for self-control is limitless, we will be far better at regulating our behavior than if we choose to believe it's finite. Now, this is something that has been illustrated in a number of studies, including one conducted by scientists at the University of Maastricht that gave participants a challenge of controlling their facial expressions when shown upsetting video clips. One group of participants was told that this exercise

would be energizing, while the other was told that it would be draining. Now, after viewing the videos, all participants squeezed the hand grip as hard as they could, and the former group performed markedly better. Research conducted by scientists at Stanford University echoed these findings, demonstrating that students who believed that tough mental exertion didn't deplete their mental energy, didn't show diminished levels of self-control after strenuous experiences, and fared much better in their final exams. On the other hand, students who believe that willpower is a limited resource reported eating more unhealthy food, procrastinating more, and struggling more to prepare for their tests. Studies also show that we can enhance our self-control by avoiding

situations where we have to actively resist temptation. For example, if you want to drink less and go to a party, you can choose to sit far from where drinks are being served. If you are dieting and you don't want to eat too much while at a restaurant, you can ask the waiter to not bring the dessert menu or cart. And if you want to focus on studying or working without being distracted by your phone, you can go to the library without it. Now, tactics like these are all well and good, but chances are none of them are particularly striking to you. Most of us instinctively know that if we were truly pushed to the wall, we could turn over a new leaf. In other words, we probably wouldn't choose to die on any of the hills that we're currently struggling to climb. So what is it then? What really is

holding us back? For many people, it's the simple fact that it's easy to sacrifice uncertain future rewards for certain immediate ones, and as a corollary, hard to sacrifice the certain for the uncertain. In other words, one marshmallow in the hand is worth two in the bush. That's why we want to savor the junk food today rather than sacrifice it in hopes of a healthier tomorrow. savor the junk food today rather than sacrifice it in hopes of a healthier tomorrow. That's why we want to choose the warm embrace of the couch over the austerity of the gym. And that's why we want to consume mindless media instead of meaningful literature. This tendency to discount future gains is in our nature, at least partly because our ancient ancestors had to obsessively chase immediate rewards just to survive. You know, to them, a carrot that you had to work years or even decades for was literally unthinkable. Fortunately, there's also a powerful element of human psychology that can help us

win this battle. And that's the fact that the more we do something, whether helpful or harmful, That's the fact that the more we do something, whether helpful or harmful, the more we come to like it and want to continue doing it. Now, evidence of this can be found in seminal research dating back several decades that found that the mere exposure to an arbitrary stimulus generates mild affection for it. holds true with nonsense phrases, human faces, Chinese ideographs, and other visual stimuli, as well as sounds, tastes, ideas, and social stimuli of all kinds. Marketers and politicians have known the power of repeated exposure for at least as long, and it explains why they spend vast sums of money to just repeat simple slogans, jingles, and messages over and over and over. You see, these people, they know that the more you see and hear their statements, the more familiar and acceptable their products, services, and ideas will become to you. This is why Geico spends over a billion dollars per year creating and propagating rather silly but memorable

commercials that have little to do with the benefits of insurance and why political parties are so adamant that their members stay on message, repeating the same talking points as publicly and frequently as possible. What this means for our discussion is that while sacrificing immediate gratification may be difficult and awkward at first, the more we do it, the easier it becomes. In short, it's a habit that we can establish like any other habit, and as such, it can take some time to settle into. Specifically, studies show that new habits can take anywhere from a couple of weeks to a couple of months or longer to stick, with most people needing about 66 days to internalize new

behavior patterns. The key then is making it through those first two months, and there are several psychological tricks we can employ to increase our chances of success. One effective way to dramatically reduce your discount rate when tempted to act against your long-term interests is to view the choice as giving up the long-term reward for whatever you find enticing. Take a moment to imagine what it would feel like to enjoy the ultimate payoff and bask in the fruits of your self-control. Then ask yourself if you're willing to throw all that away for the fleeting pleasure of whatever form of immediate gratification you're faced with.

How does that trade make you feel? Is it worth it? For example, if you are on a quest to lose 15 pounds and you're staring down a plate of your favorite confections, close your eyes for a minute and imagine having reached your goal weight. Feel how your clothes fit. Picture how your new body looks in the mirror and hear the compliments from friends and loved ones. Now open your eyes and ask yourself, do you want that or do you want the temporary delight of some sugar and fat? Chances are that the desserts are going to suddenly look a lot less appetizing. Chances are that the desserts are going to suddenly look a lot less appetizing. This line of thinking not only helps us negotiate moments of temptation,

it also highlights the fact that every transgression of ours has real-world ramifications and consequences. The penalties are sneaky, though, because they're rarely obvious or immediately felt. They accrue insidiously like a growing thunderhead until some predestined moment in the future when they will just unleash all of their pent-up fury upon us. Here is the smoker who receives the soul-shattering diagnosis. Here is the glutton whose heart finally gives out one day. Here's the cheater who's wracked by guilt and the ne'er-do-well who is completely devoid of self-respect. By the same token, every time we act nobly, tangible benefits may not materialize immediately,

but they also accrue, inevitably manifesting in all corners of our lives. There is always an immediate payoff in doing right by you though, and it is the emotional reward of feeling good about your choices. Now, sophisticated marketers, they exploit this psychology with a technique known as laddering, which boils down to persuading people that buying a product or service will immediately make them feel the way that they would like to feel. For example, to sell faster processing speed on a mobile device, it might go like this. A faster processor means less waiting. Less waiting means accomplishing more and accomplishing more means feeling more in charge and powerful. The advertisements then

would be aimed at convincing you that the minute you buy the faster phone, you are going to enjoy the immediate, certain, and emotional reward of feeling more effective. Now we can use this psychological tactic to our advantage because while the concrete rewards of actions that we take may be delayed and uncertain, the emotional ones are always immediate and assured, and by focusing on the latter, we can gain tremendous power over our behavior. For example, we can consider how it will feel to smoke or drink less or stick to our diet or exercise routines instead of how it will just benefit our physiology. We can focus on how it will feel to save more money or eliminate debt instead of how it will impact our net worth

or financial resilience. We can focus on how it will feel to spend less time on social media or watching TV instead of how it will just free up time for other activities. Another effective method of short-circuiting a momentary desire is putting whatever is tempting you out of sight. Now this works because not being able to see the immediate reward just makes it less exciting to your primal self and thus easier to reject. For example, one study found that office workers who kept a jar of candy inside their desk drawer consumed considerably less than those who kept it on their desks. It's not that it's harder to just reach into a drawer than it is to reach across a desk. It's just that putting the goodies out of sight helped people put them out of mind.

You can also institute a mandatory 10-minute wait before allowing yourself to indulge in some undesirable activity. Now, that might not seem like very much time, but research shows that it actually can make a big difference in how you perceive the situation. In short, the part of you that wants immediate gratification wants it right now. And if you resolve to delay for even just 10 minutes, it no longer sees an instant reward, but a future one, which allows you to cool off and make the wiser choice. If after 10 minutes of waiting, and I would also add visualizing the long-term reward that's at stake, you still desperately want to indulge, then allow yourself

to, but not before. And by the way, if you flip this around, you actually have a powerful strategy for fighting procrastination. Simply decide to do whatever you are dreading for just 10 minutes. And once they're up, allow yourself to stop because chances are you're going to want to keep going. Yet another highly effective strategy for training your willpower is called pre-commitment, which entails taking action now to strengthen your position and commitment to a behavior and to ward off any underhanded attempts at sabotage. For example, if you have trouble with procrastinating on the internet instead of working,

you can download a program called Cold Turkey, which you can get at www.getcoldturkey.com that allows you to block specific websites and applications or simply turn off your internet altogether for a set period of time. If sticking to a diet is your willpower challenge, then you could pre-commit by throwing out every bit of tempting junk food in the house and not rebuying any of it. You could prepare a healthy lunch to bring into work every day so you stay away from the fast food joints, or you could put money on the line on a website like www.dietbetter.com. If you want to pre-commit to exercising regularly, an easy way to do that is to pay for an annual membership at your gym instead of going month to month. Another tool that has helped many thousands of people pre-commit successfully to all kinds of

goals is the website www.stickwith2ks.com, S-T-I-C-K-K.com. Stick allows you to set a goal in a timeframe, wager money, and decide what happens with it if you fail. For example, it can go to a charity or it can go to an organization that you don't like, which actually can be a stronger incentive. It also allows you to designate a quote unquote referee that will monitor your progress and confirm the truthfulness of your reports and also invite supporters to cheer you on. So the bottom line in this rather lengthy and discursive discussion is every moment of every day, we're making sacrifices. We're sacrificing time, energy, and attention. The question though is, are they the

right sacrifices? Are they the type of sacrifices that accrue rewards instead of retributions? Are they the sacrifices that are needed to make things better? You know, are we moving past listlessness and cravings for immediate pleasure and developing the discipline to focus our minds and efforts on future benefits? Or are we still acting like children? Are we succumbing to our short-sighted primitive instincts? Are we making the right bargain with the future or are we selling ourselves short? I think that these are some of the fundamental questions that we must reflect on regularly if we're going to create a life worth living. Hey there, it is Mike again and I just wanted to say that I hope you enjoyed this episode and found it interesting and

helpful. Now, if you'd like to read about all this stuff as well, then head over to muscleforlife.com that's muscleforlife.com and legionathletics.com L E G I O N athletics.com because I've published over a million words of free articles on the blogs on those websites on all types of things related to building muscle, losing fat, and getting healthy. New articles go up every week on both sites as well. So if you like what you read, then definitely hop on my mailing list and you will be notified when new stuff goes live. when new stuff goes live. My email subscribers also get exclusive deals on my products and services and other goodies. So there's that too. Thanks again for listening to this episode and I will see you in the next one. Oh, and before you leave, let me quickly tell you about one other product of mine that I think you might like. Specifically, my fitness book for men, Bigger, Leaner, Stronger. Now, this book has

sold over 350,000 copies in the last several years and has helped thousands of guys build their best bodies ever. And that's why it has over 3,000 reviews on Amazon with a four and a half star average. So if you want to know the biggest lies and myths that are keeping you from achieving the lean, muscular, strong and healthy body that you truly desire. And if you want to learn the simple science of building the ultimate male body, then you want to read or listen to Bigger, Leaner, Stronger today, which you can find on all major online retailers like Audible, Amazon, iTunes, Kobo, and Google Play.