My Brother, My Brother And Me - MBMBaM 166: Boys in the House

Episode Date: September 3, 2013

Fair warning: This week's episode contains more esoteric references than usual, so we'd recommend Wikipediaing the following subjects before wading in: A Boy and His Blob, Metal Gear, ANTM 2.0, Rick Moranis' Poutine Addiction. (Also, apologies for the audio quality. Travis had to record during a tech rehearsal, meaning he literally is inside a Shop-Vac for the duration of the episode.) Suggested talking points: Podcasting Union, Parakeet Wizards, Ladder vs. Food, Frankenberry Genitals, Freshest Moment In History, Most Dangerous Shower Game, Super Smash Wedding

The McElroy brothers are not experts, and their advice should never be followed. Travis insists he's a sexpert, but if there's a degree on his wall, I haven't seen it. Also, this show isn't for kids, which I mentioned only so the babies out there will know how cool they are for listening. What's up, you cool baby? Welcome, my brother, my brother, me, the advice show for the modern era. We are celebrating this Labor Day by marking our official entry into the podcasting union, and I'm your oldest brother, Justin McElroy. And I'm your middleest brother, Travis McElroy. And I'm your baby brother, Griffin McElroy. We built this city!

That's the theme song. If you remember Griffin, you had to change your name legally to get into the podcast union because there's already a Griffin McElroy. I'm Hollywood Griffin McElroy. It's a fucking crazy, like it's a crazy thing they make you do. They make you a pin to your name. And the podcasting union, I'm sure you're all familiar with some of the bylaws, but we're still going over them here. What are they? Well, I mean, I already touched on the one where you'll have to sing like a bar from when we built this city on Rock and Roll because it's sort of like, you know, like a togetherness thing. Like we, all the podcasters together, we built the city of

audio broadcasting online. Also, there's mandatory bathroom breaks every 10 minutes in the recording, whether you need to or not. Yeah. And you have to force something out of it. Someone accompanies you to the bathroom. I've got these like horrible gorilla grip marks on my, I don't want to get blue, but on the shaft of my penis. It comes from like trying to ring it out, like like some sort of Mandarin orange. It's like trying to milk a thirsty cow. It's just no. Well, why would the cow do it? I don't think the cows has to be thirsty in order not to. No, that's actually a podcast regulation that you have to make a weird metaphor

wants to show. Well, we're already fucking set on that front. I don't think we need to do anything extra to say. You didn't talk about like gorilla on your penis or something. So like talking about, like we have to squeeze our dicks and sing copyrighted songs on our podcast now. Like we're not really getting anything out of this fucking union that we just joined. I should have spoken up before we signed up. Like you guys were all about it, and I should have voiced these reservations before I squeezed my dick off. It has been much worse since Mark Merriman became the president. Yeah. He has instituted a lot of the more pressing, I think, inconvenient rules to the union.

Guys, a big dick squeezer. I had no idea. The main purpose of the podcast union is not for the here and now, it's for the future, and the agreement is basically when the revolution comes and the sheer just utter uselessness of each of our skill sets becomes revealed to the light of day, we promise not to turn on each other. Right. That's important. And it's also like an exclusivity thing because one of these fucking days, everyone listening to this podcast is going to realize that we're just three dickheads that bought microphones and that this is the easiest thing to do in the universe, and we're going to get, we're going to get replaced. And this exclusivity is going to be

the only thing. They're going to do it, they're going to do it better, and they're going to do it cheaper. But you know they're not going to do it legally. Scabs. Right. Can't have machines doing podcasting with these laws. Not if you know the union crew. You know Jordan Morris is a scab? Yeah. And a machine. And a machine. He's a machine. Mark Barron squeezes his dick. Like get out of here, Tandy. Get out of here, Tandy 200. While we're trying to sort some of these, the nuances of these laws out and how we can exploit them, let's answer some questions just to kill time till the next bathroom break. And then we'll, we'll, we'll repeat. Ever since I was little, my parents have maintained a multi, I just want to mark this occasion. I think that was the least funny

introduction. 65 episodes. Not a single goddamn solid joke in the entire thing. What you don't know is that we have to reset every 166 episodes because we were getting too funny at the beginning and expectations were getting too high. And next week and we can really phone it in. Not a single well-composed gag in the entire one. We really, it was really, I just wanted to mark the occasion. Ever since I was little, my parents have maintained a multi-pet household. Almost all the animals live long, healthy lives. The only animals my parents apparently aren't adept at caring for are parakeets, since these tend to pass away relatively early within a few years, if that. The problem is my parents keep getting parakeets. Brothers, how do I politely inform my parents

that they should stop trying to care for these tiny birds and instead focus their attention on animals they can actually care for? Is there a graceful way to go about doing this sincerely, flummoxed and filling? So the problem is your parents are bird murderers. They're bird murderers. I don't think there's a graceful way to handle it, but there are like a hundred really super forceful ways to do it. Yeah, I think number one is liberate them every time they buy them. Let me throw this out. What about like an Oscar style video of all the parakeets that they've lost in that previous season? It's just like a video of all the parakeets with really sad music underneath and then like captions of their name and like 2005 to 2006.

Maybe you lack the you know the iMovie skills to throw something like that together. Maybe you just pile up all the bird corpses on the table and say look and then you you say this is more than all the other pets that you've had combined. Why this is your 215th bird? Like clearly didn't work out the other two and 14 times. Are your parents cats? Key information that should have been included. If they don't take the parakeets from the pet store they'll just get eaten there. I mean somebody will eat them. You gotta have a talk with your parents about the relative bone density of these pets that they're buying because you get a dog. You get a mastiff. That's a fucking sturdy animal. It is very hard. Good luck killing that. Good luck crushing that mastiff. You can't do it.

A parakeet, a fucking a stiff wind. You turn the ceiling fan on high and it's it is compressed into the loam. Are both your parents leaning from a vice and men? We should we should just define what your parents are. Are they regular human beings? Apparently not because regular human beings can take care of like birds. You just give them seeds and then they're pretty much good to go. They need hardier stock birds. Maybe give them some like crows. Yeah but then they definitely can't get fucking don't. You can't have parakeets and crows because crows will just eat the parakeets. Unless it's like one of those adorable videos where like you know a dog becomes friends with a deer or something. Yeah crows are generally known for that kind of cross species friendship

behavior. You know people never talk about the look at these adorable friends videos that they the inception of every single one of those has to be an act of almost an unimaginable neglect. How did you let the gorilla get close enough to the kitten that they became best friends? How did you mess up so bad? There's a dog in that tiger cage you guys. Is no one else seeing this? You know it's better to take care of that tiger or that dog. A trained animal professional I bet. I bet that dog is not like giving it its shots and shit. I'm just saying I'm a way better friend to tigers and dogs than either of those species could ever possibly be. Not some weird animal matchmaker it's like let's see if these hate each other. Oh well another failed experiment sorry

YouTube not gonna make my YouTube partner money check this month because I couldn't find a good pairing. Is that what's going on? You're trying to get your parents are trying to YouTube match make? They're putting parakeets together with every there's not an animal that won't just instinctively fucking kill a parakeet. There's gotta be an animal. They are the. Dorothy we've tried them all. Aguana and parakeet no damn it gorilla and parakeet no. They are the cheetos of the aviary world you just mmm that's good I'll have 15 more. It's gotta be grim for them because they're looking out the towards the end of the alphabet the only things they're seeing are Wolverine and zebra and they don't feel great about their chances. Even a zebra it's like my stripes are weird.

Do you think that when her parents roll up or his parents roll up to the pet store like the other parakeets see him like oh shit they're back fuck there we go it's like the third time this month little girl in Finding Nemo like I will have six parakeets like nope nope you won't no no no I definitely sold you parakeets on Tuesday so are you a magician are you a shitty wizard what's going on are you transforming them into humans so without human lives probably not matchmaking huh we're all part of that game we got a ring in the back room it's kind of like an animal fighting ring except it's not supposed to be so it's an animal hugging ring do you ever see that movie fight club mm-hmm yeah what what'd you think about it it really made me think also

we have an animal fight club also you've been a parakeet the entire time are your parents parakeets wait a minute that doesn't make sense of all of nature's creatures you think parakeets would be adept at care although not in the human world they don't have access to some of the twigs and berries that they would have in a in a parakeet native environment I would say that Justin the problem is that you're assuming that her parents started off as parakeets I was inferring that they had once been human and were now parakeets and we're looking for the parakeet wizard that had turned them into parakeets for mistreating it I clearly shouldn't have inferred that dumb shitty thing that your thing I don't know why I was thinking like a grown read a damn book what book

is has that plot James Bond novels I guess I don't think so I've read them all I think you're a literate I've read them all and they're all about the key wizards Griffin can you um can you read us a yahoo answer yeah I'll read you a few if you want or we can just do one at a time like we usually do um this yahoo was sent in by David Byrne um assumedly not the David Byrne but this one is still pretty good I think thanks David it's by yahoo intercessor sage who asks why am I so hungry am I not growing male um that's m a m a l e m a i l m a l e they're just giving us a little bit extra info up in the headline which frankly like your your gender doesn't form like a lot of of of things not you know in a sexist way but like we need it's

helpful information we provide you information flow next and Philly couldn't even specify the species of his parent right that's what I'm saying I would prefer if in the future whenever you do provide a question is just like my parents are parakeets female you know what I mean anyway um sage asks okay I had a decent lunch today at school and it did fill me up I come home and I'm really hungry I ate two PBJ sandwiches and almost a whole big bag of Doritos holy three minutes later I'm still hungry so I eat vegetables and some rice after and I'm still a little hungry but not starving why I'm not so hungry like this only one night I was starving and after dinner two hours later I'm so hungry I can eat horse I am five foot five almost five foot six and think I'm 14 years old

whoa I five foot six I think and I'm 14 years old and six months old and half Caucasian and Filipino my dad is five nine okay wait I cracked it I my dad is five nine grand on his side oh god this fucking question five nine and mom's side is short frown face all caps I did experience growing pains in both of my legs two weeks ago from today and sadly no growing that night frown only when I was 11 I had him and I grew two inches please how tall will I be is it possible to grow like one inch and three to four months so that's three inches in a year when am I gonna go through my adolescence grow spurt help wait a minute this guy just decided halfway through this question that he didn't like his old question and he was gonna ask a new question and hope none of us noticed

yeah he took a hard right yeah he's trying for a two for I ate some Ritos and it did not fill me up so I switched to veggies and rice and that got me pretty close what the fuck also some of my dick hair when am I getting that stuff how male male when it has the experience growing pains but didn't actually grow did you just mean his legs hurt yeah I think did someone maybe punch you in both of the legs over like a bully are you being bullied maybe you ate to make goddamn Doritos sage male do you have arterial blockage in your legs because of all the Doritos there's gotta be a problem when you say you are not hung you're like not getting full but then he clearly said that he ate almost a whole bag of Doritos so that's really some

pretty impressive uh but he doesn't say what size bag I don't care the size of the bag it could be like a lunch snack pack okay but when he didn't know what you're not understanding me he didn't finish the bag and yet he was still hungry so why the solution there's an easy solution well maybe he knew his fucking all right if I had a roommate well first of all if I had a 14 year old 14.5 year old roommate I would be probably arrested but second of all if he finished the whole bag of Doritos that I bought I would be fucking furious he probably knew that his moms would come home and if there was no Doritos bag she would be pissed off she's probably still pretty upset that most of the bag is gone but at least there's a little bit of crumbles left over for

I'm actually impressed with the level of thought process that went through this kid's head because usually we get some real bonus but this kid at least said why had two PBJ sandwiches and I'm almost done with his bag of Doritos maybe I should switch to like vegetables maybe like something that won't you know give me diabetes will will help yeah that's pretty clever for a yahoo answers also the bar is real low the bar is so low I like the idea of eating food and there being an instantaneous mechanical response within your body beyond just like boy in this blob I like yeah like if this kid ate a licorice jelly bean and turned into a ladder what are you talking about kind of instantaneous mechanical response it's everything that you called for

um I want I want I like the idea of like you know you're growing so you eat like 15 sandwiches and you go to bed and there's a full blown big miracle and you wake up the next morning to Tom Hanks and you are like I gotta write down what I ate and then you post on the internet if you want to turn into Tom Hanks is all it takes is 15 sandwiches it's got that was actually my favorite episode of man versus food I ate 15 pizzas and I turned into a ladder what the fuck happened this round goes to man does it does this next episode on ladder versus food just stack all the french fries on my rungs here we got a t-shirt for you for completing this challenge is it extra ladder can you stretch it can you stretch it over my rung to girth

got producers we just gotta play this one by ear I guess I guess have a pretty lady climb on top of me and just pour all the milkshakes down me and we'll see what happens maybe I'll transform into like a I don't know a horse or something and then we can just sort of that's moving I think in the right direction maybe the next leap will finally be the leap that takes me home I would I would sell for any sort of all the pizzas why haven't I left it to a horse organic entity that could consume would be great for getting a new another season I don't think I'm gonna get this season two as a ladder I have another question my wife and I were listening to islands in the stream by country legends

Kenny Rogers and Dolly Parton it's a fantastic song but real we're really bothered by the line I set out to get you with a fine tooth comb help us think of some better lyrics that don't sound like someone has lice and that's from lyrically challenged ladies of DC there are I don't know this song there are you first of all you are yes you do second of all there are children dying in the streets there are children I'm I could open my window right now and see two or three children just dying and this is how you want us to spend this is how you want to drain this think tank I got a pretty good lyric for you lyrically challenged ladies of DC you want to hear my lyric Syria think about it Syria I don't know just I think it doesn't it doesn't rhyme I don't

think it rhymes also you're not allowed to just like install like 14 syllables into one word Travis you do know this okay Travis have you heard the song ghetto superstar yes okay have you ever heard Kenny Rogers sing a song like and you were confused like I didn't know that Kenny Rogers covered this one interesting islands in the stream that one trap that is what we are gosh I set up to get you with the bond what could that possibly what could that I mean I guess that you even know what they're maybe one of them they really had that they really had to sort through the riffraff really had to sort through the ham and angers yeah or maybe they one person one of them died in a car accident when they went over a cliff and the other one dragged the lake for them and that's how they

found them and then they were brought back to life like in corpse bride or maybe it was like the person shrunk down and was trapped in Rick Moranis's hair yeah and they were trying to like comb through Rick Moranis's hair but they had to use really fine toothed comb because he had very fine what's that smell Rick Rick pal we need to talk about your habits I'm saying Rick Moranis probably has a stinky ass scalp if you if that's if you want to dissect that goof and I don't I uh I'm saying a diet rich in poutine has probably engraved his scalp with with a substance that's not good to be you know close to I've never been close to the man but that's just a theory from an olfactory from an olfactory nosebound perspective uh I think

the problem with islands in the stream is that if you're writing a song in 2013 and this is what lacks this is why it's not timely you have to have product placement that and and that's the only way you're going to be able to pay for Rick Rubin to come in and help you build your sort of rough sketch of an album into the you know a chart topper so maybe something like you should try x body spray grizzly scent like that's gonna be that's gonna be I totally dig this idea but it's gonna be hard to replace every word so like so like maybe we can be like I set out to Pringles with an xbox one and then you guys are better at this than me because all I could come up with was I said I was to get you with a fine tooth floam and I don't even think floam I don't think is a product

that you can buy I mean sure you can probably buy it on like some weird alternative eBay but you know I read in Malcolm Gladwell's The Tipping Point that that kind of thing is all it takes to really launch a product back into the American consciousness what what product is falling out of favor like flow I sell that to get you with you you who chiclets does that last quick strawberry flavor now we're talking okay but now we're not talking about like profiting in the commercial since now we're we're pushing our own social agendas like if it was me it would be more of it was like I set out to get you with some frankenberry okay that's that you want to that is the one product you want to defibrillate if now if you want to push social agendas in the song I'm into

that too you get uh uh I set out to get you with my gay marriage license that I can get in any state now come on and then the harmony sounds like a Macklemore song now the harmony could be just two Kenny Rogers's he could just harmonize with himself and that would be very beautiful I'm into that yeah I'm really into that can we do both okay where it's like um appeal Doma and eat some tastations now you can be more subversive me and frankenberry headed to the chapel this is good this is good because I'm gonna marry frankenberry who I'm assuming has male parts down there I don't think you can gender frankenberry uh when I think about frankenberry's genitals and god do I his frank and berry that's like 90 minutes out of every day for me um don't even try to call Griffin from 1245

to 115 is that all at once or is it spread out throughout the day um I mean I once I get in the flow once I get my noodle going um but in both senses of the of the phrase I whittled that down too because you have you used to have to spend six hours a day thinking about frankenberry's genitals just to concept like get yourself in the headspace yeah which was tough I was not getting a lot of sleep back then anyway it's a just fleshy patch just fleshy blank patch and that's what gets you going you know people never talk about that part of the creation of frankenstein's monster because there had to be a night when someone looked at victor frankenstein and he just came back with a giant bag of dicks I'm going to find the one that fits him perfectly like why you're really

agonizing you just grab you grab the set of hands at random they're both left I didn't care about like his dick you put like days of r&d into this I like to think that Igor was actually like super like self homophobic and so he just like went out and like uh uh like this just uh he just like took the first one he saw and like put it in the bag you brought me an abnormal dick frankenstein was like what the fuck I just can you just do it like no one's ever gonna no one's gonna want to fuck this creep can you just take it I will listen I'll do anything else like pick any part I will go harvest it but come on come on it's a dead dick doc just use this one just use this one you know the dicks the first part to go to in the decomposition

rigor mortis will get you to 24 hours that's it that ship done sailed yeah that's because bugs are nasty bugs you're nasty bugs you're so nasty all of them anyway oh man I grossed myself out let's do a yahoo hit me also I just want to say right now before we get the emails I know they talk about frankenstein's dick and young frankenstein you guys you don't have to tell us about it so I've never seen it that's why I don't watch movies or tv oh you don't want to spoil the goofs well yeah I just want everybody to know that everything comes from my heart this uh this yahoo was sent in by Nicole Harris thank you Nicole it's by yahoo answers user riker who asks where wolf question werewolves only my friend says that I might have been born a werewolf I've always thought

of myself to have an inner wolf I'm just starting to physically shift but I have no memory of when I shift and how to control it someone please help werewolves only this question would be way better if they said werewolves only who was that guy that played mr feeny on boys werewolves only looking for a werewolf perspective please wasn't the same guy in 1770s hey get the fuck out of here regular old human humi you know the um I could help this guy but because he's being so fucking specious I'm not even going to I mean I could help him I can weigh in because I my so my grandfather was a quarter werewolf so that makes me 116 you would fucking Megan Fox man killing me um for me and again my cycle only comes once every 16 full moons um my werewolf

aren't you predict it is it is tricky uh if you wear it's really tight-fitting clothing sometimes it'll just cancel it out also for some reason a cloud in front of the moon so if you get like a haze machine you're pretty covered yeah also griffin found the one reminder that siri refuses to create for him siri in 16 months remind me I'm gonna change into a werewolf I'm not going to do no that's I'm not gonna waste time I'm not gonna waste your time or am I how does this person know that they're going through the change if they can't remember the change does it it's like they wake up and they're like I think I was a werewolf well that no they were probably they were watching America's next top model uh 2.0 boys in the house and fucking like

they start watching it and they get to like the beginning of the first challenge and then all of a sudden fucking Tyra just kicks someone off and they're like what the fuck there was like 45 minutes there well I don't know what happened and then they look around and all their pets are dead that part of that would probably be the first I don't even think a werewolf will waste his fucking time on a parakeet but that would probably be the more telling evidence I gotta know what happened in the fucking photo in the fucking photo shoot also my dog is dead my dog has been eviscerated I uh I think the the most important thing uh from this show that so far is that I learned that uh the new cycle of America's next top model started

which I was not aware yeah it started fucking Justin 2.0 they changed the goddamn game boys in the house so they're boys in the house there are girls in the house too but there's also boys in the house and let's just say things get a little sexy did you sorry did you hear that I put I put a little too much smoke in that I've missed a month that was a little smoky the model yeah I can describe everything that's happened in every season so or in every episode first episode first episode they line them all up at the top of staircase and they say guys go pick a girl from the other side walk down the staircase do a pose that's how they introduce all the guys and girls to each other this one super fucking fresh dude walks to the stairs looks at the women shakes his head no

this will not do turns around to the dudes picks a dude walks down the stairs kisses him on the mouth turns to everyone like what's up fucking crowd like just burns the fucking building down around them just like staring downstairs like the dopest thing I've ever seen fuck it's the fucking dopest moment in reality show history the other dude the other dude was like straight as an arrow like I don't even fucking care that was the freshest and dopest thing I'll ever be a part of it is required watching also they've changed the theme song so it does the want to be on top a guy's voice comes in and goes boys in the house and it's my favorite it's it beats out growing pains it beats out full house it beats out family matters for greatest theme song for

greatest team song I have a wonderful transition into the money so I'm really from the discovery that I am late on America's next top model but I am not panicking and do you know why why because America's next top model is on hulu plus it is wow don't even worry about it you can watch guys versus girls America's next top model the new cycle is here 2.0 changed the fucking game and you can see the game being changed in front of you if you're a member of hulu plus you can binge watch all your shows that you've missed play catch up play cash there's probably some cash on there in some form and and you can you can do that all with with hulu plus it's amazing there are four episodes of America's next up model 2.0 boys in the house the game has changed on hulu right

now you can go and you can just fucking binge watch all of those you can also do that with snl community modern family family guy shows with family in them and and a bunch of other shows and I fully encourage that you do that at least with a ntm 2.0 boys in the house boys in the house it's only 799 a month for all the shows all the movies you can watch it seriously fucking get it people ask us we said last week like we don't know why they're advertising because we thought everybody had it because the three of us had it and people were like are you just shilling like no hand to god like no it is it's it is my total jam and here's the thing if you don't have it right now if you go to huluplus.com forward slash my brother you can get an extended free trial check

out how awesome it is and then just continue to use it for 799 a month but I think we're talking like two people at this point that don't have it so you two people hey you two people go do it two weeks is more than enough time to fucking experience boys in the house you gotta at least watch the pilot guys god damn I also want you two people to maybe hook up you've been dancing around for a long time we've seen it we know you've seen it and maybe it's time to hook up and watch huluplus but on separate accounts maybe you're afraid that you're not going to know what to do with each other when you do hook up well we've got an activity booklet for you it's called you don't even worry about it it's called extremestrain.com whoa extremestrain.com tell me more um I mean

usually do the extreme restraints but like let me just off the top of my head dildos um dildos now what how does that work what's the dildo ointments um it is oof it's tricky describe it like you were describing it to your youngest child okay like maybe they heard the word at school and they said daddy what is the deal though do you know how son um yes jimbo i don't know what my son's name is you know how you get super happy when you come to school in the morning you catch the early bus and you get there and they still have super donuts and the super donuts are real warm and it's a cold day and you get excited to eat the warm super donuts yes and you know how that makes you like happy i want you to imagine that happy i want you to think about

when you fuck that warm super donut uh-huh the way that that feels now let me kind of start over if you're looking to start over sexually because your uh your love life has fallen fallen a bit stale you go to shroomschanks.com use the coupon code sexabunga you're gonna say 20 on the most just ribbled device kind of here but how about this son jimbo when you know the pencils that you use for school to write and take tests and draw in art class imagine one of those that was like super thick and then people put those like um people put those in in them and it feels um it feels you mean like digs where did you where did you learn that word i i heard it just throw out playground i don't like where this is going me neither but i i do like where you're going if

where you're going is extremishase.com use the coupon code sexabunga and you're gonna save 20 off of your order hi this is dave hill from dave hill's podcasting incident on the maximum fun network i'm here with my lovely and talented secretary miss shana feinberg shana i understand you've been doing a bit of research to find out what listeners think of the show yes i have dave and what have you found well people that love it say they love it because it's just dave hanging out with someone in his apartment awesome what what do people that hate it say they hate it because it's just dave hanging out with someone in his apartment oh listen to dave hill's podcast incident on the maximum fun network mother was that too much no i think it was perfect

farm wisdom i thought you were dreaming i thought you were building to a drop wisdom boys versus girls versus cows farm with cows in the house cows in the house i just don't think monica has what it takes that is a fucking though that cow just touched fucking 1.2 tons of booty i have never seen anything like it the game has changed her others found the fucking light farm with those two cows kissing it was insane farm wisdom is our regular segment where we bring you real applicable wisdom straight from farmers and the people that love them or know them here's one from c dan can i read it can i read it can i read it i thought you didn't have this in front of you i pulled it up now okay yes try this go ahead from c daniels

when some farmers have a branding they nut the calves okay sometimes they they will save the testicles and eat them after i've seen this firsthand they treat them like it's halloween candy or something that's not like to imagine they do it right in the cab space that is not like not only does that suck it sucks that there's someone out there that calls removing the testicles of a living thing nut they nut they nutted that calf did they cook that do they cook is there any preparation because this guy just makes it sound like shink and then pop like a couple rollo's or something no it's like no it's like that scene in game of thrones where the khalisi eats the horse's heart it's very similar that's so awful back in june i heard a bit of farm wisdom

from my dear friend rita mangooli who creates the fantastic comic series today in three panels in fact she memorialized said wisdom in comic form i've attached it here for you the the wisdom and we are enjoying this delightful comic i guess you guys can't see it but we'll put it where griffin where will we put it uh flicker we'll put it on the forums or we'll tweet it one of those two uh at mb mbam by the way is us uh here's the wisdom you can grow a plant that has potatoes as its roots and tomatoes as its fruits that's bullshit that feels to me like something that's not true that's like the plot of that it feels to me like an abomination against god i think it's the plot of the tomaco episode of the simpsons i can't believe that this food exists and that

this plant fucking exists and that it's not like the only thing that farmers are planting to double to double their you know their gains do you think sometimes the plants get it backwards and they just grow potatoes as their fruits and they get like a bunch of dirty smush tomatoes on the ground like yeah you fucking stupid like they cut into their potatoes and it's just full of like tomato guts like what oh fuck or they find like a whole chicken inside you're like oh god my fucking farm is my farm is starting to desynchronize um so that's an amazing fact if true which is almost certainly not true thank you for the farm wisdom uh if you want to send us farm wisdom or literally anything else in bmbam at maximum fund out if you could combine combine two plants

what would be and i know you're asking griffin you're asking this question because you obviously have an answer and the answer is yes i do weed and oranges because then you get that juicy orange and that's gonna taste tremendous it's gonna taste a little balmy like it's gonna get a little uh a little bit of residue on it but uh otherwise it's a perfectly fine orange that's it that's perfect for me because the uh florida and stoners that attracts will eat the mosquitoes so it's really great for your garden too yeah okay bros you've settled the peeing in the shower question but what's your stance on brushing your teeth in the shower no one does it next question that's an easy one we don't have to solve it because nobody fucking does it in the universe some people do it

but i'm married to someone who has done it oh god like on a dare i guess it bothers me enough to brush my teeth in the kitchen sink yeah that's because so out of god damn place that's where you dump your fucking french fry oil travis i know but it feels wrong but like if someone is using my bathroom like i need to brush my teeth and i want to schedule by the way don't it's i should mention don't dump your french fry oil down the sink you're supposed to like take it to best buy or something in the front there's laptop battery cell home batteries french french fry oil i have a rule i i i would never brush my teeth in the shower because that's where i pee that's disgusting yeah i'm not gonna brush my teeth where i pee also you might spit like toothpaste on your

balls like what are you talking about you're gonna spit down and the water pressure is gonna push you spit back in your body and then you're gonna have toothpaste balls and you're gonna know that you did that you did that also and here's the thing you drop your toothbrush in the sink accidentally oh that's fine you just pick it back up you keep going you drop your toothbrush in the shower you gotta get a new toothbrush it's a game changer you think that changes the game what i don't understand the game well because suddenly your toothbrushes touch like the drain where all your hair goes and like all the water of your filthy life it is the most dangerous game that it's more dangerous than hunting men on a shipwreck isle it is a game where it the drop of a single

toothbrush is can mean total and complete calamity you gotta drive to target after that shit and it's labor maybe you're into that maybe you like the thrill the threat the threat yeah maybe you get your hands super super soapy and then you grab the toothbrush what are you doing jimbo you're on the edge step back man you're wearing a blindfolds what are you doing your balls are covered in toothpaste you're not even in the shower just standing in the living room this is gone too far Jeff Bridges is fearless gotta rate it in you guys want a yahoo answer yeah sure yeah that's not weird for some reason well it's it's a weird bad for the first time i felt like he was actually asking me a question it's it's it's a weird name for a website right it's so presumptive it's called

yahoo answers not yahoo questions even though i imagine that most of these issues go completely unresolved like i'm uh how do i turn into an octopus like no one's gonna be able to give you any like satisfying answer to that no the government holds that kind of shit pretty close to the vest they should call it they should call it yahoo mysteries could you give us another yahoo mystery please this yahoo mystery this yahoo mystery um which is the side series to the to the bill yahoo show yahoo nights yahoo nights this yahoo night mystery was sent in by kurt girdle thanks kurt it's by yahoo answers user hailey wood who asks ideas for a metal gear solid themed wedding last time i said i was just having a video game themed wedding but me and my fiance decided to go

full out metal gear solid because we both love it and it actually brought us closer together but here's the sitch we need help with ideas and stuff invitations decorations the cake colors all that crap what should we do i know the game revolves around military stuff but we're not planning a military wedding we need more than that well budget should we set for please any ideas will be appreciated just be nice please thanks again this person fucking knows what's about to come down on them step one cardboard box to walk down the aisle i think that's pretty i think they probably figured that one out themselves okay can you imagine can you imagine no fuck that a little your little ring bear you put your little ring bearer in a box as he walks down the aisle and

throws uh rings well if it's metal gear solid he'll have to throw like a hundred flying roses that are sparkling yeah throw those at the holes in the cardboard box he drops a chaff grenade and your dad who's filming is like hey dude can we gotta wait like fucking 15 minutes for all this goddamn chaff to wear off reset the wedding please reset the metal gear wedding start again start again try so he's taken like a non-lethal approach to his wedding basically if he doesn't want a bunch of guns he wants like the the the the more emotional side of of metal gear yeah travis have you yourself played a metal gear game i've played of it i've i've been around others whilst they played

um can you imagine can you imagine how surprised your bride is gonna be when the doors opens and it turns out she's marrying ridin that's gonna be such a switch i think only the only thing i have in the chamber for this is a joke about like on the first night of the honeymoon giving her the old solid snake well that's just like the name of the guy in the thing but i know but it's like also like a penis that's pretty that's pretty general try to be like if we said they were doing a Jurassic Park theme wedding and you're like what if it was a dinosaur but i but my joke was like his penis was like a solid snake well then okay um well what if after they had sex 30 times he'd look down at his penis and said boy my dino's sore that's actually a solid goop um

what is this series known for i think we can i think the uh i think we got to get the ceremony to last like 12 hours i think it's gonna include a few super esoteric geopolitical messages um about you know the nuclear proliferation i think i think there are also things about like long lost brothers that's a given uh well genetic cloning i think that there's probably a few fun ways if you could get like twins is your flower girls then mario shows up well travel okay well hold on what now you're doing a smash brothers theme holy fucking shit it's crash bandicoot and he's objecting is it too late to crash when he's never been in a smash game is it too late to alter the theme the super super smash um no to i mean like to a normal wedding

is it too late it's are you so invested in this that you can't jump out now someone's fucking neck is going to get broken and it's going to be immersive i guess it's also going to be pretty felonious and the fans are going to be so disappointed when it turns out key for sutherland is officiating the wedding uh do you want to say that sentence out loud again and be like hear it hear yourself saying it no you're right that doesn't make any sense no one's ever walked out of anything right ah fuck turned out it was just keepers that was just key for sutherland except for i guess that hotel manager when he was got super drunk and ran and tackled the christmas tree youtube it fucking the best the best move the best thing second only to

the male model picking the guy up off the stairs on the ntm the order is male model picks the other male model number one obviously everyone burned the building down people died because of that amazing moment number two but they understood why kiefer selen being interviewed on camera and the guy was like what's the secret kiefer he was like you just gotta enjoy life run tackle tree falls christmas over christmas ruined if you if the camera panned like 30 degrees to the right you would see like that male model as a child i'm gonna fucking i'm gonna beat this and beat this moment you have raised the game to an unimaginable level uh so that's going to do it for us we realize it's a little shorter than we normally do but travis is right in the middle of a big build he's rebuilding

the uh stage of the sins night shakes i'm a contractor now he's a legal contractor do you want to sleep tight do you unplug the show what show you guys do it now we're doing all of her twist uh it opened september 6 didn't even bother calling me on that one huh well you griffin we need you to get back in the game has your voice changed i was out i was out it's a great show um we had our first run last night and it's super good the set i built is beautiful and it's very funny show really well acting you guys really love it so uh if you're interested go to sincey shakes dot com it's sincey with the why shakes dot com uh word you know if you're in Cincinnati just come down to 719 ray street check it out now keep my brand new stage trav i hate to

be a watch i hate to be a stickler but you owe us 150 now ah damn it you're right uh that was our plan all along we want to say thank you to everybody tweeting about the show and and sharing it with friends using the mb mb a m hashtag of course uh mb mb a m wisdom we at mb mb a m wisdom is an account that believe it or not 2400 people are following right now that they just tweet weird stuff that we said that i don't believe it's not enough uh thank you to sir pickle smart bunny uh oh the ren waffle man riot bananas um aka the human vacuum my matthew price jimmy megan sony others tweeting about the show i really we really appreciate it it helps us to grow maybe share with a friend we haven't asked people to do that in a while but um that is like the best way for us

to grow the show maybe you probably have like 200 jump drives in your drawer just toss some toss your favorite epi's on it make a mb mb mxtape hand it out to a friend and then they'll listen to it every so often i'll see on on twitter someone saying like hey thanks such and such you got me into the show and now i've listened to like 30 episodes in a row like that makes me so happy and then thank you guys and then we give them a huge referral bonus it's massive and generous it's a bit of like a podcast like pyramid scheme it's pretty nice yeah but it's just us giving out money to people so it's not like a pyramid scheme as much as it is just like a hole that we keep throwing money down yeah we're saving the us economy you're welcome um the uh if you're already

caught up on our show you want to get into something new we got a ton of options for you on maximum fun dot org uh there's just john hodgeman stop podcasting yourself bullseye jordan jesse go somebody wonderful programs there to enjoy i'd like to also personally uh recommend saw bones it's a medical history program that i make with my wife sydney who's a legitimate doctor um and a lot of you have been kind enough listed that so thank you very much and it's called what now saw bones how much how many how many listeners have you taken from us for that oh you can only choose one that's the problem no you can listen all of them it's great well i mean there's only so many hours in the fucking day like don't talk to me like i'm a little kid okay okay gosh wow this guy didn't dig in

i'm just saying they have to be going some there's obviously an exodus i didn't want to talk about this on the air but we're obviously pleading we're hemorrhaging listening to death all of this this week i'm gonna thank john roger can the long one you son of a bitch it's a departure off the album put in the day's bid you found it in itunes and i'm gonna do our last yahoo answers question to think about and it's like something about p that's actually it you got it 10 out of 10 10 out of 10 wooden boombam again again griffin give us our last yahoo is sending by yahoo mr night this yahoo night's mystery was sent in by ira rey are you ira rey who wants to know thanks ira rey it's been sent in by uh is

asked by yahoo answers user chris r who asks chris r it's aspect he asked where the fuck where the fucking money denny chris r asks what is the least amount of equipment i need to make dubstep i'm just a microwave i'm travis mackerel he's been my brother my brother me kiss your dad you maximum fun dot or comedy and culture artist owned listener supported