My Brother, My Brother And Me - MBMBaM 193: Journey to the Center of the Bear

Episode Date: March 25, 2014

What a multimedia extravaganza this episode is: It's our second bonus-length MaxFunDrive 2014 episode, it features an extensive discussion about musical theater with a new guestspert, and it has three part harmonies about ghost horses. Suggested talking points: Comedy Akira Monster, Grandpa Joiner and the Chocolate Factory, Jiro Dreams of Frosties, Regrettable Lobsterfest, On Cosmos, Wedding Primaries, Henley Nightmares and Hathaway Dreams, Maxi Bandage: The Musical, Quaid in the Picture, Gene Hackman Reversal, Tanz der Vampire

The McElroy brothers are not experts, and their advice should never be followed. Travis insists he's a sexpert, but if there's a degree on his wall, I haven't seen it. Also, this show isn't for kids, which I mentioned only so the babies out there will know how cool they are for listening. What's up, you cool baby? Hello everybody, and welcome to My Brother, My Brother, and me. It's an advice show for the modern era, and I'm your oldest brother, Justin McElroy. I'm your middle-est brother, Travis McElroy. They call me the baby, Griffin McElroy. They don't use my name, they just say,

look at that baby. He's a grown baby. I'm a grown-ass dude. They call me Tater Salad. Oh boy. Ladies and gentlemen, our special guest, Ron White. What a treat to have you on the program. We said we were going to have a guestpert this week, and he is a guestpert. In Tater Salad? In Tater Salad. I know I'm here for all your Tater Salad needs. Can I hear some more of your great material, Tater Salad? You might be a redneck if you eat Tater Salad. Oh shit, they fused together. Akira style. He's enveloping Neo Tokyo.

In Russia, Salad Tater's you. Oh no, what? Stream ops in the mix. Get him out of there. It's second. Funky boy. Oh god. It's an SNL. He's crushing. She's crushing everybody to death with his body. My life. Oh no. Oh boy, it's Morat. So this is our All-Star Comedy special. All-Star Comedy special, where we celebrate the fact that you have donated to the Max Fun Drive going on this week. This is really sort of a victory lap for us and you at home. It's a courtesy. A courtesy week. Because we know you're already done, Gave. We know you are already done, Gave. But if you want to share this episode with somebody who

hasn't, because some people may not have, but you guys have just been amazing with the support. So fantastic. I mean, I feel like we probably should have had, since all of you have already donated, I feel like we should have already gotten more by now, but like, I'm sure that's like kind of a number. Accounting error, possibly? Yeah. So there's some hanging chat on those figures. There's a bit of the old hanging chat, but we're going to talk about the Max Fun Drive a lot more coming up this episode right now. Thank you. Thank you. Yeah. Thank you so much. Here's our first question. It's my birthday today. That is unlikely. It says it's my birthday today. And at some point during the afternoon, a bar of fancy birthday chocolate

appeared on my desk. The problem is, I don't know who in the office it's from. When I asked the primary suspects, they denied it being from them. The question is this, do I have to wait until I identify who the gift is from before I begin enjoying the chocolate? That's from Sweet Tooth and San Francisco. That's a great question. Yeah, right? It's the, it's the, what's the order of operations vis-a-vis this birthday chocolate? Because you got, I think you do have to find the person say, this is from you. Oh, thanks. And that's a sentence. Yes. Do you have to say thank you before the enjoyment or can you thank him for the enjoyment that you had already? Thank you for the chocolate. It was delicious. But then anybody can fucking claim that they

gave you that chocolate. You have to ask them to describe it. Describe the chocolate bar that was left on my desk, please. Nope, it wasn't you. Why did you even fucking try to, if you knew it wasn't you, why did you even try and do that? That's weird. Why did you even playing along? Uh, Caramel. What are you getting out of this? Uh, there was a Caramel in the pistachio shells? Like stop it, no. It clearly would just say you didn't give it to me. Maybe they're thinking that you found a golden ticket in there and they want to get their cut of the winnings. They want to be your grandpa Jerry that comes along with you. Sorry, sorry, grandpa Jerry. Yeah, pardon. You remember. And his wife, grandma Geraldine.

I'm pretty sure it's grandpa Joe, but thank you so much for playing along. Grandpa Joe is a joiner and he fucking pisses me off every time I watch that movie. Oh yeah, he is fully like, he fully does sort of just hop onto Charlie's bandwagon, right? There's very little discussion. And he starts singing a song about how he's got a golden ticket. No, you don't. No, you don't. You're your illegitimate grandson. How a PS, um, super duper, triple cool that you've been faking being a paraplegic for like a decade. And then you, the wafting of chocolate, like cut their rogues, tickles your nostrils. Is that what we're supposed to, uh, see, I thought it was just that their family was so poor, they couldn't afford to walk

that they just, there was no reason to. Why the fuck would I, where am I going to go? Honestly, he was impoverished into immobility. Well, here's the other thing too is like Charlie gets a golden ticket and he's like, grandpa Joe, go with me. Hey, dude, you've got three other grandparents just like chilling literally two feet away. And you're like, fuck you. Fuck you. How about your moms? Like it doesn't seem like things are super cool for her. And she's been working really hard to feed you and your 80 grandparents. And also she hasn't been faking, uh, uh, being paralyzed. So maybe like she could use a break today, but she'd love to go. This is weird. I wouldn't eat this. Was he just lying in his mess? Oh yeah.

Lying in his mess. You don't see that. You can actually. No, what they don't show, what they don't show is that it's just like a weird orgy between the four grandparents and that bed. Stop it. They're just going to just wailing on each other. They're so poor. What else are they going to do for enjoyment? That's the thing though. At night, it's like old person toy story. The lights go off. The parents leave the room. Charlie goes to bed. The grownups just wake up and start walking around like, Oh, I love walking. It's so hard to pretend. Would you eat chocolate that you didn't know? Fuck that. Would you eat a food that you didn't know the source for? This has happened to me before because I work in a sort of office. And when we open a show,

everybody does like, you know, occasionally thank you things like a note or, you know, there's something where like the director for like, uh, Rosencrantz and Guildenstern are dead because it's about flipping coins. Jeremy Dubin, the director, bought everybody like chocolate coins, right? But occasionally people do that. Yep. Everybody just assumes that you will know it's from them and people will just like leave stuff on the desk and then it becomes this awful like hunt of like, did you do this? Did you do this? I mean, I appreciate it. I know my tone of voice does not convey that. Did you do this? Did you do this? How could you do that? Did you fuck my wife? That's not a very good opening night present, I would say. I would rather have the

chocolate coins, I think. Yeah, for voting. For voting, which I guess we're not. Y'all want a yahoo? Please, yes. This yahoo is sent in by Adam Doyle. Thank you, Adam. It's by yahoo answers user. Man, fucking yahoo done updated their shit. And now I can't see who the yahoo answers user is. Quit fucking updating your user end user experience yahoo. Hey yahoo, while we're on the subject of yahoo answers, if everybody could just stop using yahoo answers as a source of comedy, that would be like super great. Who's up on it? This week, the Tonight Show got up on it this time. They had Audra McDonald sing yahoo answers, and midnight's been up on it too, and it's just like if everybody could just chill on that. Nah, listen, we can't fucking, we can't reign this

night. Listen, that first step that we published, and I don't like tooting our own horn, but here it goes, that was the Gutenberg Bible of comedy. That first step where I was like, hey, you know, it might be fun. Let's look at yahoo answers and see if there's anything cool going on in there. Little did I know I was changing the fucking course of history. That's why Sid Seizer died, because he didn't think of it. No, that's why he died, because he was willing to pass the torch. He said finally there's another. There's a new comedy king. And also midnight, if you want to keep using yahoo answers, if you could just have us on your show, there's like a three-person thing going on there, like a vibe there where three people compete,

like that would be super great if you could just get us on there. If everybody could just tell- People have been doing the Lord's work already. And at midnight, like yeah, you guys have been really trying to get us on there. And like we would be so happy to like with just the merits of travel considerations on there, and just like totally get out there. Let's not go crazy. We're going to need some per diem. Yeah, if I could get some per diem guarantees, like I would just love to get out there. This gets some sun. Okay, so I dug through this inscrutable new yahoo user interface.

Ugh, they got like a new logo. It looks like a seven. What the fuck are you guys doing? Anyway, uh, it's asked by yahoo answers user strawberry who asks, I am too slow at work. How do I move my hands faster? Fast food windies. What? So this is my first job and it's only my fourth day, yet I got told I have to be faster. But sadly, that's as fast as I can go since I have never worked. So I was wondering, is there something I can do to move faster? Hamburg, and then parentheses, hamburger, fry and fire, nugget lines. Sometimes I have to go to the BK to restock. I guess that means back and not that this person

scoots to Burger King to get the Wendy's. The Wendy's supplies, but they blow the lid off this whole conspiracy. So please help me like advice on how to move faster. Update one, I was told to go faster too. Update two, like I got in trouble because I was going slow. I think it was Malcolm Godwell who said that when you work at the Wendy's, you gotta put in 10,000 hours before you're an expert at it. So you're gonna have to work there for like 10 years before you move any faster than you do now. That is, that is what 10,000 hours works out to.

I, man, I just thought about spending 10,000 hours at a Wendy's and it bummed me out. I think that I, you know what, I actually am, I'm kind of impressed by anybody that gets really good at anything. If you work 10,000 hours at Wendy's and you turn into like the best Wendy's, like if you're like the best person to work the fryer and you know, I'm always impressed. I don't care what it is you do. I don't think we have enough value on work in this country. I, I, I am impressed by you guy who fries the fries better than anybody else because once, once you get to be an expert, I'm always impressed. Here's my question. Going along those lines, wouldn't you agree then that there are certain

people that have a natural proclivity towards the fryer and some don't? So maybe this gentleman or a woman asking this question can only move this fast because they are not one who was born to fry. I think that with repetition, anybody could get good at it. I'm saying that some people are going to come out of the, some, some, you're, you are going to have that funerary. You're going to have that one who just dips the fries in, takes it out and the other employees like have gathered into a semi-circle just watching with mouths of the game. They're creating like a, a giro dreams of frosty scenario where somebody spends their whole life mastering their craft. Is it a particularly fancy craft? Absolutely not. Absolutely it is not.

I don't know. If you could make me perfect fries and chicken nugs every time, it's pretty great. That's pretty fancy. I get what this person is saying too about like, have you guys ever worked a job where like your, your, uh, uh, like success at the end of the day is determined by how much product you managed to process in some way. And then that number was like, like quantitatively compared against your, your peers because like how many dog buttholes I could squeeze when I worked at the kennel. I, that's, I mean, you're goofing, but yes, that's it. When I, when I worked for, uh, Justin's father-in-law at a, uh, a file scanning company, there was a fucking leaderboard at the end of the day that would measure how many documents you

would scan, turning them into digi docs. Um, and I thought I was hot shit, uh, just because I put on my headphones and just like go. And then at the end of the day, it was like a quarter of what the people who were, who, who, the, the pros, the vets, the numbers that they were turning in, um, did not last super long at that job. Yeah. Did not, could not, could not have, did not hold that one down, uh, especially long time. Do you guys think if you need to physically do something faster, does it make more sense to start slow and then like just get the muscle memory or to just push yourself to be faster and like correct whatever errors you have on the back end in movies that you always see, like when someone's getting super speed or something that they always

like do the first thing and then the second thing and then it's a little bit faster than a little bit and then suddenly they're just flying through it. So I guess that way, like in movies, yeah, like in movies, get struck by writing on arrow when arrow gets good at arrows. The first thing he does is that he has to smack water. Wait, slow down, Jason. I'm writing this down. Okay. He has to smack water with the palm of his hand over and over again, right? Because it's been a bad boy. No, because it's like the first step in becoming an arrow, an arrow comes from water. If he just like could not get good at arrows, what they would have had to change the title of the show water slapping. Well, do you watch water slap? Yeah, I fucking love that show.

I understand that might be the first part of his training, but I don't understand why I have to watch it. I've been watching a show for a year and a half. He's just slapping water. Just give him on arrow with a bow. See how his progress. How can you rate the efficacy of the water slap training technique? If every once in a while you don't toss him a bow and just like that's not even one to one in terms of like physical motion. There's no fucking drawstring on water. It's all about the control of arrows. Wait, are the arrows made of water? I zoned out. The watering arrows. Oh, he's a waterbender. Well, the worst part of it is then he takes on a little trainee there who's made of water. No, he takes on a trainee and he's like, I'm gonna teach you to control your power.

And I heard that. I was like, oh, no, I know it's coming. I'm gonna have to watch this full slap water. Did he? Please, someone talk. It's gotta be a beast story in this episode something. The writers of that show are just like fucking coasting. How's your job? It's the fucking sweetest writing job ever. Let me just walk you through our script creation procedure for next week's episode. Slash, slash, slash, slash, slash, slash, slash. Type slaps water, copy, paste, done, mojitos. Ami. Ami. Don't mind if I do. An Oscar unprecedented. Oh, Arrow, you're not a good show, I bet. No, that's a great show. Ladies and gentlemen, it's that time of year again, as we mentioned earlier in the program. It's Max Fun Drive, a pretty exciting time of year for us. It's sort of like

our sweeps week, if you will, where we come to you, if you don't know already, Maximum Fun is a listener-supported network, which means that we rely on you, the people who dig our episodes and our products, if you will, to fund our show, which means that we need you to kick in a few bucks to help keep things going. It helps us pay for equipment, helps us pay producers, it helps us pay for our networking and it helps our networking, you know, our hosting, our elbow rubbing, our name dropping, and we need you to help us pay for that because we don't have enough money. No. Justin, may I interrupt? What? It's never stopped you before. I actually wrote a little thank you

Oh. Oh boy. Okay. I wanted to take a boisterous moment to undulate everyone-No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. If you are not a Maxfun donor, don't fluff another, it's not too late. You just have to go to Maxfunfun.org forward slash donate and jelly which level of Jorts you want to donate. Oh God. For five lascivious dollars a month, you could support the show and you get all the bonus content for 10 alpacas a month, you get the bonus content and a recumbent 18 month cat themed Maxfun calendar. For 20 snapdragons a month, you get the boners content, the calendar and the Maxfun morning essentials which includes unrequited Tonks coffee and the cummerbatch stack soap. So go to Maxfunfun.org forward slash donate and check it out. Namaste again, all you lovely Widdershins.

Listen, if you want me to be able to pay to have someone kill Travis, I'm going to need you to go to Maxfunfun.org forward slash donate right now. And I can't believe you. I can't fucking believe you. I can't fucking believe us that you didn't see that shit coming. It was like we walked right into it too. We were like right this way sir. Welcome to our podcast. We've prepared a table just for you. For your shitty shit. We've grown a lot this past year. We really need to figure out exactly how many podcasts have been added but I mean it was this past January. We added four new shows like The Goose Down and Ono Ross and Carrie and Lady the Lady and Song Exploder and got a new host up on International Waters. And then in the months preceding that we had Bullseye or not Bullseye,

we had Sawbones join it. That hit program. And then Sidney got pregnant. Justin Sidney got pregnant. I'm not saying that was exactly because of your donations but it probably was. But it's an investment because 20 years from now that kid will have a show and you'll love it. Yeah. Wham bam pow. It's added this past year. That kid has podcasts as soon as he can talk. As soon as the vocal courts have formed he is here. He or she. Well it's she. I don't know if you're podcasting. So Travis sort of brutalized this list but I'll give you like an English version for really real people. For five dollars. If you can play just five dollars a month you're going to get an insane amount of bonus content. That's episodes from every Max Fun show and all the years prior

which means that if you give five dollars a month you're going to get the ticket to 44 hours. Over 44 hours of bonus. I mean think about this like five dollars a month. That's like for those that play video games that's 60 dollars. That's like a brand new video game and you could pay to get $44 of content. $44 of content. Yeah. $60 for $44 of content is not very good. It doesn't seem like a good deal. If you can give us $10 a month you're going to get all the bonus content. These stacks you get everything prior right with each level but for $10 a month you're going to get an 18 month mini Max Fun calendar. We're all cats. Okay. Yes. Thank you. I will take it. At $20 a month you're going to get the cat calendar. You're going to get the bonus content and you're

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another question my brother and I whoa nope no incorrect my husband and my brother and me have a toddler together is that we just found it should we start a podcast and we occasionally like to go out on date nights while she is asleep we pay a long time friend and neighbor to basically just watch tv on our couch while the baby sleeps the problem is when we get home we are generally feeling ready to settle in for the night and the babysitter is ready to chat for you left out the winky emoticon in there which implies that they come home from this day ready to shag baby yeah uh we are in a bind because we don't trust any people to stay with the baby and we need to get out occasionally any advice for how to encourage her speedy departure upon

our return and that's from trying to avoid lingering in los angeles i'm going to throw something out that both of you are going to cringe at okay you gotta tell her that you want a bone yeah when you said you're both going to cringe at you're talking about me and jesson right because i definitely winced yes but i think the idea is like if she's a long time friend and like you guys have anything more than a passing acquaintance not when you get home but probably i'm like yeah we're going on a date night and then oh god it hurts to say but like you gotta bite the bullet and be like and then we're hoping to come home and and have some alone time and then like make it don't say have some alone time you know what don't say have some have some alone time is a grosser

it's like that patent oswald bit on clean filth like that's grosser than like we are going to come home and engage in coitus uh this is all lay with one another in the marital bed oh god yeah we're gonna make some we're gonna make some uh some sloppy we're going sloppy joes we're gonna make some sloppy joes unless your husband's name is joe that doesn't work i um i i think that okay so i'm as an introvert i've become common expert at getting people to leave and one one of the things you could do is pay turn the lights off turn the lights off no one of the things you can do is pay attention to your body language okay here's step one do not sit down no you sit down that says let's chat don't take your coat off okay that says get comfortable with me three don't close the door

when you walk in leave the door open and then hold it open with your hand and then every few seconds go huh huh maybe wave a candy bar in front of the door and throw it outside and hope they follow i don't have a lot of friends but uh anymore uh but i think that those are three great steps that you can take how do you get anyone to leave your abode under any circumstance this is what freaks me out like when i have friends over and it's like i am just like so ready to to to chill um i'm incapable of letting them know that so when i think about if i had a dangerous intruder in my house my ability to repel somebody who want who like doesn't owe me anything is not my bud my ability to repel them from my my domicile um it terrifies me because what do you do please sir i'm trying

to have sex over here can you please excuse yourself from the premises wait wait wait wait are you paying this person to do this yes great then that's it you gotta come in like money in hand ready to go transaction say transaction complete i mean that's what you're saying with that with that with that hint because the thing is if you're waiting for her to get up and leave and walk to the door and then you're paying her think of it like pavlov's dog that like you need to condition her that as soon as you get in the transaction is done okay wait i solved this problem i solved it you guys ready for the solution yeah i solved it okay i went into my mind palace and then i solved it okay okay here we go your husband and wife this is from the wife okay so you i'm talking

you now question ask her directly um unless okay so unless it's also a guy i don't know question ask her you go to the door okay you open the door your husband runs through the door and holding his stomach shouting oh diarrhea diarrhea it's so bad ah and then runs towards the toilet then you come in sheepishly like what can you do and then you say ah better check on him let me get your money real quick throw in the twenty dollars check on the time i tell you the issue with with your diarrhea escape it's almost too good yet no it is oh justin oh it's so good uh one issue uh you can do this once and then you can maybe do it twice and then the third time you do it the person is going to think you have come in checked out say here he's definitely allergic

to shellfish and he can't he can't listen listen it's fucking lobster fest what do you want him to do it's lobster fest you want him to not celebrate lobster fest he even why do you guys keep going to inattentive jay's taco stand you know he doesn't pay attention um you guys want yahoo yes absolutely yahoo was sent in by james walsh it is by yahoo answers user john sam mule s a m e u l they have to have spelled that wrong right i'm hoping uh thank you james it's by yahoo i already did that uh john sam mule asks can ghosts hurt dogs good question can ghosts hurt dogs please explain every yahoo answer should end with please explain we can all agree that dogs can sense ghosts right let's i guess just cover our bases before we get started our our

ghosts real yes yes yes our dogs real in the right light i watched cosmos and as it turns out dogs are just shitty wolves hey cosmos can we talk about you for like a second just real quick and then we'll get right back to the advice i watched that episode and i talked about how animals reproduce and then uh who's that dude nila grass ties nila grass ties and hopped in his fucking magic razor ship and then he flew into a bear's fallopian tubes and ovaries and shit and just like cruised around in his razor ship grass ties i'm cruising for bears fallopian tubes going on a fucking magic school bus adventure inside sounds like an episode that we would like make up like and nila grass and the nila grass ties and just like cruises into a bear pussy no that

happened definitely did happen on cosmos um i'm not gonna lie i did learn a lot while i was inside that bear pussy thank you neil i'm not sure why like the name of the show is cosmos not ursine vagina so i guess i'm a little bit confused on why you took this fucking detour i guess i get oh no i guess you did cover all of space the infinite expanse of the universe in the first three apps um i it was rough for me because i i uh i got distracted when he was introduced in that segment and all i knew it was inside a uterus and then when i found out it was a bear i felt really sheepish for getting so turned off yeah and that bit opens up with him talking about me about how dogs came from wolves and he's talking about that by a campfire and a

wolf attacks him and he has to fight him off with a fiery log cosmos you have lost the plot my friend you have cruised off the fucking rails course correct look up there's infinity space i can check i can scope a bear pussy whenever i want on the internet tell me about the fucking the orbs god damn what you're probably wanting is to take an imaginary journey to the center of venus but instead let's go dig on that sheep's pussy on the next episode we're gonna go check out a sheep pussy this is cosmos and we just go to space neil do you know sheep pussy secretly punishing everyone you know sheep pussies in the spiral galaxy have a lot and they don't have anything in common take me to space

get me out of this pussy neil you have an infinitely powerful starship called imagination and you're using the power of imagination to climb inside vaginas can we just go to space once you know there's a lot out there probably we don't really know we're making all this up you know what i know stone cold goat pussy let's go let's jet can i not jet i stay here i don't want to hop in your ship but your ship can travel through the fucking imagisphere and i don't want to get in it because i know where that road is i promise this time what have you what have you took you and you're looking like i'm not gonna tell you where we're going but i promise it's cool that you're looking around like i don't know is it can you look all this plasma we're surrounded

by the plasma the sun and the stars is beetle juice this is incredible i've never i never thought i would go us i get a wolverines pussy oh god you got you got you again neil the grass so why do i keep getting your dumb ship can i've never watched this show but you guys have sold me yeah it's really good uh can ghost hurt dogs though no but for real though can go no but really can ghost hurt dogs i feel like there'd be more beef between ghosts and cats why do you and i say that not as a joke i think that's a legitimate belief they seem like they would be more sensitive to spectral presences it also seems like cats would be less cool with having them around like cats would be like get the fuck out where dogs would be like okay cool this is all right all right

i'm spooked later coming yeah i'm gonna go in the next room um i got some good yahoo responses to this please uh princess says no a ghost cannot hurt you nor can it speak to you nor does it even that you are there a ghost is just a person's energy that's left behind when they die a spirit princess a dog isn't asking this question a spirit on the other hand is different uh spirit is a soul that is left behind spirits can do all of those things if they are strong enough so no ghost cannot but spirit sure can it's been a while since we've addressed how yahoo answers users sort of classify the undead right it's this is there's there's spooks there's ghosts specters specters phantasma gory is spirits if ghosts aren't real why do we have so many

words for them hmm hmm i haven't thought about that huh makes you wonder doesn't it illuminati uh ghosts can apparently i'm just gonna fucking summarize some of this crazy bullshit ghosts can't hurt the dogs but they can scare the dogs into hurting themselves right that's a common vein they'll scare they can also ruin the dog's credit i don't ruin the dog's street rep no no like they get it they get a card in the dog's name they max it out oh okay um yahoo answers user europa i'm sorry rex it says here i would love i would love to give him it says here you're like 514 um europa objective says there's no such thing as ghosts whoo all right good answer oh wait oh hold on i'm sorry there's more they're demons fallen able

angels sent by satan and given figures of someone who once walked on earth thereby confusing the people into thinking god does not exist because this person is in heaven or hell he is on earth do not be deceived to answer your question physically no although they can sometimes poses dogs and then hurt themselves so a different way that ghosts can make a dog hurt himself you're okay so just to be clear ghosts are a shell game invented by satan yeah that's the it's a fallen demon or angel i guess a risen demon hmm hmm yeah and then they take the form of a ghost and people see it goes and goes well like if he's not in heaven or hell i guess god doesn't exist and satan's like yes here's the question that i keep coming back to in this whole

situation i don't think the question is whether or not a ghost can hurt a dog why would they what is the what's their end game in this maybe the dog's being a dick and like barking while we're trying to record an episode oh i see he's coming back at my dog a uh one more yahoo answers user garret says they can scare them and make them hurt yourself keep a cat the cat will absorb the ghosties okay that's true it's like baking soda they have to snort them though i just did a line of ghosts man i'm tweaking tweaking remember if you hear your cat sniff that's a ghost disappearing mm-hmm it's true i am still having okay i want to circle back i'm still having trouble with this idea that satan is is making ghosts to make people think god is exist i have

a question for you atheists atheist friends i know there are many of you that enjoy this program if you see a fucking ghost is that gonna reaffirm your but like are you like i knew it i knew it all along didn't i tell you didn't i tell you are there a contention of people that are like god is not real ghosts are ghosts definitely are and that i do not believe in the soul unless i mean it's not a soul though is it travis it's a fallen angel slash demon since we'll see but yeah but that's what i think what you're supposed to assume is that you know the atheist sees the the ghost and goes ah a soul not in heaven i knew it i knew it i knew that souls and all that were legit i just knew that there wasn't a god that was like there's not like a place for those souls to just hang

out and do whatever but here's the thing the logic of that is like saying kids belong in disneyland if i see a kid not in disneyland it means disneyland does not exist oh it's exactly like that you're right travis so why couldn't there be a ghost that's just not in heaven guys we're big do you realize that the three of us are becoming yahoo answers this conversation that we're having is yahoo answers we have created a physical form of yahoo answers the three winter yahoo answers we have become that which we most love i do i fear the day when we cross the line and start like commenting back on these on these questions and we're like well hold on let me help yeah let me just answer this one wait we don't have any yahoo answers because we actually answered them all

because we're basically experts we solved them we solved all the problems we fixed yahoo answers i just started a new job and i love it it's in a small office and i can already tell that i will soon become quite close with my co-workers here's the problem i'm getting married in september normally we wouldn't consider inviting people i met only a few weeks ago but by the time the wedding comes around i will have spent quite a lot of time with my co-workers and i worry they'll be offended if the nuptials come and go without me asking them to join us should i invite them and add to an already bloated guest list or guest list or risk becoming the office pariah that's from nervous and Nashville when you have a fine excuse yeah you you obviously

have to plan these things quite a while in advance um this is one of those questions where like there's two different it's like the the real situation and the perceived situation the real situation is you are perfectly fine to not invite them because you know you say that the guest list is full you did it a long time in advance whatever right but then the perceived situation is always going to be that you snubbed them i feel like that site is almost always perceived because like i do not think i have ever not been invited to a wedding and i was like oh for real oh okay i guess i uh guess i just assumed well because the benefit here is that what you get is that when you get closer to the date if you have become super close with like six or seven of your co-workers

you've gotten the rsvp backs and you know there's going to be open spots then you are like hey i'm getting married in a month do you guys want to come yeah if you think about the solution that you're you're sort of conceiving for this problem it's to go to people you barely know and say hey listen i can tell there's something really special i know i we've only just met but i can just sense can you feel it the person's going to stare at you dead eyed and just wait for you to leave their rooms they can call the cops i'm going to give you what i'm calling a preliminary invite and this is going to be a very special kind of wedding invitation that i can either activate or revoke in four months time i will rsvp to you whether or not you're allowed to come i will hand

you a rose i'm telling you you've made the first wave you've made it through the wedding invitation primaries with flying colors because you seem super cool you gave me that small bag of fritos that you got from subway that you did not want to eat and that planted a seed in my mind that i want you to share the most special day in my life with you maybe let's see where we are four months down the line i will send the activation code to your rsvp what you're want to do is scratch off below the foil here and you're gonna find a 38 digit confirmation code i'm gonna need you to put that into the internet every sense every single day i need you to put that 38 digit code into the internet uh and if you miss a day unfortunately it the invitation will be canceled immediately

and this will be my test to see if you actually do want to come now the other thing i do have to make you aware of is that every time you apply this confirmation code you're gonna need a hundred pepsi points and you can find those just on the labels of pep 20 ounce to two liter pepsi products from 1996 1996 and you can hopefully you save those cubes yeah there are also on this web this bespoke uh temporary wedding invitation web page that i made for you to input all of this metadata there are 14 captcha codes that i'm gonna need you to complete every time and it's a very special kind of captcha that is terrible and nearly unreadable i just need to know that you're okay so what i need you to do is i need you to find a really old bible all right and then turn

and there's this is something of a codex i need you to solve the da Vinci code basically um i need you to steal the declaration of independence on the back is your wedding invitation i need you to fly to space and blow up the asteroid that's hurtling towards earth with a band of your fellow oil drillers i need you to help harry meet sally we're just naming movies i thought listen we're not going to make you jump through hoops like that to to donate to uh our program it's easy you're just going to go to maximumfund.org slash donate and uh you'll just pledge some money and it would it'll be fantastic um we taught you about the lower levels there are two higher levels you can get to if you really want to buy our love you can pay uh pledge a hundred

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to to the shows on this network and how much time you spend like on a fucking weekly basis i have i have run out of time in my week to like fit all of these all these programs in i listen to no joke like four or five max fun shows every single week um and when you think about like how much time you spent listening um to to us or other shows um i don't know i think as a as a value proposition i know it's kind of a weird way to think about that but um i i you know i think it's worth i think it's worth a little bit of scratch if it you know compared to stuff like you know netflix or your cable subscription like i don't know i listen to way more podcasts than i watch episodes of orange is the new black on netflix for instance

are there any other shows that you know just that one just the one i love that laura pre-pon she's yeah she's american treasure american treasure laura prepon uh again sometimes i'd like to drive up beside people and roll down my window and ask them if they're having we get the yeah we got it they're just making a great coupon check let me try one more time yeah one more time sometimes i like to roll down the window and ask them if they have any laura prepon one more time it's out of the mustard yeah one more time it comes in jar one more time five dollars a month forty four i thought you're asking Travis to make his great great laura

prepon check one more time sometimes i like to roll down the window and ask them if they have any laura prepon ooga chaka ooga ooga i can't stop this five dollars a month you're gonna get forty four hours of exclusive photos content just like this for ten dollars a month you'll get that beautiful eighteen month calendar where we're all kiddies for twenty dollars a month time friendship circle you're gonna get the morning essentials kit with that great tongs coffee some stacked soap to help get your day going right and a beautiful cobalt blue coffee mug and at thirty five dollars a month that's really not that much if you think about it it's not a ton but you're gonna get all this great stuff and two uh rock and graved highball glasses two rocket glaives

they're amazing maybe crawl um anyway we have maximum fun dot org four slash donate if you haven't given yet please go do that uh while you're doing that we have a very special treat for you that's kind of weird that it even exists uh our guestbert this week on the program is uh lin-manuel maranda who you might know from his appearances on shows like uh hi metro mother his uh tony and grammy award-winning musical in the heights uh his upcoming musical hamilton or many other projects that i mean he's helped write for everybody in on earth he's written every song that's ever been ever that's ever been or will be uh and he listens to our show which is crazy that's a crazy thing that is true and almost on a dare

he has uh written a version of uh fugue for ten horns which is a song from guys and dolls uh but he wrote it about our show and then we recorded it so it's a song by a person who's one of tony and grammy for songs and you're welcome you're welcome uh and he wrote it for us and you're gonna get to enjoy it um right now i got the horse right here the name is paul revere and he's the ghost of the horse that one last year ghost horse ghost horse there's no way to beat ghost horse he flies through the air of course ghost horse ghost horse ghost horse ghost horse there's no way to beat ghost horse but

he's got no arms legs or face and he makes me laugh the horse be a just might give you a vampire bite of course this all depends on the horses at night it's like swathe it's like swathe and this vampire horse like swathe and just a man in sweets he's got the raps and beats he likes well he is in the streets of life's blood in the sheets a horse has to be another horse so bums dear it's not a wad so that's the one who doesn't see a ghost horse he's got the ghost horse there's no way to beat ghost horse so make it f in tap is not a horse by f ghost horse ghost i got the horse right here what an honor uh and a pleasure it is to welcome our second guestbert to the show

uh third if you count our dad i guess what the fuck is that too good at what is he really raising heroes uh we want to welcome lindman well randa lin is a uh i mean where to start a tony award winner uh uh a composer uh a friend if i may be so bold you are so bold and so right he was on how i met your mother he wrapped he wrapped in marshall's face and made me the happiest i've ever been yeah it was like the best it was the best because i had just seen lin in new york like a couple weeks before that and it was probably the most famous i've ever felt uh but anyway welcome to the show linman well maranda oh thank you fellas this long time listener first time call that's great you

understand that that's crazy right you're like a real dude you're like you're like i like i met tom selec once after a performance of a thousand clowns uh i met him after i met him after this show and uh he told me apropos of nothing to keep it up and this is still the coolest person i've ever talked to oh my god you guys uh so lin you are an expert if i may be so bold a guestbert in in musical theater how did you how'd you get your start there how did that come about oh gosh uh i had um my parents were were cast album collectors that's that's like their whole jam so it was lots of man of lamansha i think you guys went through the same thing because uh your dad tweeted me pictures of him as nicely nicely man if you want me to drop my uh buddy hack it as sancho

panza on you you just jesus christ you oh my god you have not heard sancho and tell you justin basically is sancho irl in one of the great in what in perhaps the most representative anecdote of my life i am basically living day today is sancho panza and for years my audition jam was uh i don't care to a man of lamansha it's like the classic sort of self like self-defeatest uh approach to getting cast in anything ever good enough for number two so who becomes your who's your donkey hote is that griffin or is that travis well i was auditioning for the role of donkey hote so presumably i mean a yet fatter that's what the world's been waiting for right i basically need the subject of a tlc reality show this is my sancho panza uh but okay lin we we uh so i your credentials sorry

i was letting you continue i was letting you justify your guest brightness um yeah i i've been writing musicals uh for a long time i i my first musical i wrote in high school it was a 20 minute musical called nightmare in d major it was very pretentious and it was about a the fetal pig you dissect an ap bio coming back uh to haunt you it was the worst can you sing us any of it now i would i would go see it man i would still watch it i don't know if you heard i don't know if you heard earlier when i said that i watched tom sellick in a thousand clowns all the way through like i would definitely i my bar is pretty pretty low um and then you wrote a musical called in the heights indeed man i'm glad i didn't mess it up i had like a moment just like a moment i was like i'm gonna

say it wrong here it comes on the flights shit damn it blew it men and tights men and tights have you noticed that men and tights and jews in space from history of the world part one are the exact same melody i have noticed that lin oh no if we get you guys to start on melbrooks we'll never escape from it oh my god uh and you're working on a new musical or it's it's done now what's the status on on hamilton it's gonna open uh next year at the public and it's called hamilton and it's a hip hop musical about alexander hamilton is that fine okay yes oh my god if so if there was ever a role just in macaroy yes is that what you're is that where you're you just said you're at the public before we started recording are you like are you like on the scene right now yeah i i i i have

a a deadline on uh friday for the producers to bring a new song so i was just like can i have office space so that i'm not just uh at home and it changes every day so i literally i walk around the public in like slippers and pajamas like i like a crazy person fuck that's cool how long until they realize that you're living there i mean i you know i brush my teeth a lot it's very pursuit of happiness right now you hear that in the rafters you hear that that's the ghost of joe pop uh all right here we go questions we do have questions for you lin and they we're going to give them to you now prepare all right i'm ready can i borrow your tony for a weekend no questions asked no questions absolutely fantastic just go ahead do you you ps that to me is it kosher to

sing musical theater at karaoke i imagine it's more nuanced than yes no what sorts of musical theater work at karaoke i wonder if it's about some sort of irony like a step of removal from just belting a ballad sometimes lame is group numbers have worked well but like oklahoma that seems like bad news what are your desperate thoughts and that's from an alto who can't belt for shit wow justin that's really fucking harsh i like that's the self described as his own moniker his or her own mom is probably a her yeah well maybe could be a dude alto i don't know um you know i i think that this is uh i i think it's absolutely acceptable but as in all karaoke you gotta read the room you know there's you know there's fun meatloaf singing like paradise by the dashboard

light where everyone can get involved because there's lots of parts for everybody and then there's like singing heaven can wait really slowly to yourself sadly and everyone's just but sometimes a crowd wants it sometimes a crowd just came there to put some tears in their beers and that's when you do summer lovin yeah that's summer lovin's pretty good anything from greece will get everyone involved if you're doing well involved you gotta do like beauty school dropout on repeat i feel when i hear something from greece i do feel emotionally involved but not necessarily like a heart pounding smile generating sort of way that's true um you know if you're doing soliloquy from carousel you're fucked up you're doing it wrong i was knowing what karaoke bar

this person is going to that has lame is in the book oh man there's i feel like since the movie everyone's got hathaway dreams uh boy i will now be performing poor jud is dead i actually this is or like the worst thing is when you get someone let you do a thing like it's like got too many parts like you're doing your fault from into the woods it's like look all the parts yeah you need nine nine talented singer i went to a karaoke place once and i saw uh sit down you're rocking the boat in the book and i was like this is a jam this is gonna get the people going maybe i'll do it so good that the people will do like the sit down you're rocking rocking the boat and just moved to it and i got up there and i grabbed the mic i took a swig of beer for courage and then i heard

and i was like oh no i just got don henley because it was definitely the don henley version it was the you got hand-milling nightmares and hathaway dreams exactly the other thing that can happen with musical theaters the the accompaniment could be real shitty oh yeah so then you get the like dune dink dink dink now by a selection from floyd collins won't won't feel good at all don henley was was uh exclusively backed up by midi files during his solo career not a lot of people know that uh i i think that you're the the thing that i get stuck on here is the irony because i feel like the important thing about good karaoke is that at some point if you're gonna sing something that some people might consider an

ironic choice it has to be bolstered by sincerity you have to make that's uh the justin macaroy story literally every jam you've got is delivered with a stoicism that that is just like completely inappropriate i don't keep lory morgan's something in red at arm's length i love you because i love let it in you let it in you dress yourself in something in red and then yeah you're the vessel you're the vessel for that song it is important to know no joke when i was uh leaving huntington and moving to Cincinnati justin's saying that to me at karaoke and i believe made his mother-in-law cry i don't think she quote unquote got it she was touched by my performance of a woman of a woman struggling to regain her body after the birth of her child just touched her i i was yet i was just

a mere conduit for the work of this lory morgan oh god lory morgan that reminds me i was at a wedding once and the mother-son dance was hell and ready's you and me against the world oh and it was like oh she's not she's not ready to let go of it she's holding them too tight that's the most on-the-nose song choice that you could pay uh here's another question uh sir do you have any advice for an actor trying to keep his voice healthy and working on stage i get so much conflicting information that i'm not sure what is and is not good for my singing for instance i have a professor that swears by milk and a voice teacher who says not to touch any dairy near our performance date what rituals have you done to keep in working order and that's from singing the blues at swine palace oh man okay

so there's everyone will tell you something different the only things that can that just are fail safes are you have to sleep eight hours a night and you have to drink like so much water but then find the balance that you're not paying your pants on stage when i started doing in the heights i i had no idea how like about nutrition i used to eat just personal pan pizzas three meals a day i feel like in my head this is what i knew about nutrition i was like oh it's the exact same size as my stomach there's a hole it fills the hole you done you turn those little pizzas into tonys that's that's the most incredible alchemical transformation i've ever heard of but then off broadway i would i just running on fumes i would think i'll have coffee in a muffin and i'll do a

two and a half hour show and then i go hey why is everything gray and why am i gonna fall down dead in front of all these people so nutrition like just like getting your food in like and and having digested like an hour before showtime is clutch because you know i was i was rapping on stage and i just became like the burping monster if i ate too close to the thing so that's that's one of those things you don't think about unless you're doing it you have to like eat way before and and drink lots of water so that you're not going through the things humans go through when you're actually on stage you could do what our dad swears by what's that hot doctor pepper hot doctor pepper that's that's that's a real thing tea and coffee hot and he's like good except like

our dad doesn't drink coffee or tea or alcohol he drinks hot doctor pepper because he's a robot sent from the future to kill all of us he also used a you know maxi pad to i'm so glad i'm so glad that you know that story to tend to a wound on his butt he's got to hear that and be honored that you know that i know that you got your hands full with a lot of projects right now but would you consider your next project being the story of our dad's maxi pad makeshift survivor bandage yes i think i think that's a rife to not a lot of meat on those bones maybe for like a one act competition or something here's yeah absolutely here's the plan you star in the tv series of it and we turn it into a movie all of a sudden you got the egot for our dad's lacerated butt cheek

although i really feel like that's more of a brandy quaid sorry lind listen i'm sorry to be the one to break this to you we have to remove you from the project it's uh listen randy k quaid just came out and just like fucking knocked it out of the park you wrote some songs on spec yeah perform them himself he was so fucking realistic i asked him to borrow 20 dollars okay well here you know what he did another question he cut his own butt cheek open in front of us i was like the scene in fame he was just cutting it is this what you want it is what we wanted oh my god i have another question what would be the worst hollywood hit to adapt to no musical i would have said rocky but it looks like that's moot that's for thomas yeah it already happened

i think the the the general rule is it's got to be something that's not dependent on the star like one of the biggest flops of all time was big the musical uh because hey that whole movie is tom hanks his face being charming um but elf is hung in there yeah elf is elf is that's true elf is hung in there i think it's a holiday angle maybe yeah yeah it's got like a a season to wrap around and it comes out every christmas like it kind of wraps around that but i don't know when i see a movie adaptation even some of the best ones like i'm just kind of waiting for the scene i like yeah to happen right and that that becomes uh i don't know that becomes kind of a tough thing that's why producers really worked because that really was like a thing about the theater

whereas young frankenstein's a movie genre parody so you're just waiting for gene hackman to show i remember i also think i also think that it's uh it has to do with character thing and that's the difference between like elf and big is elf is the character buddy the elf that was played very well it's like shrek the musical you know i mean you're going to see shrek you're going to see tom hanks in big he's not doing a character he's just being tom hanks i remember when i went to our local community theaters production of uh titanic the adaptation of the film titanic i was just like where's the jugs just waiting for it i checked the where's that french girl i checked the play bill just like looking for a clue of where the jugs might be um they weren't there is mostly

just like singing and some hydraulics in case anyone's wondering what the main difference between like having a gasper and just like recording with my brothers is earlier windman well said that gene hackman was in young frankenstein and i didn't say anything and i've been sitting on it for the last five minutes i'm sorry it's gee wilder land is gee wilder oh man you just lost a tony you got forwarded no dude gene ha gene hackman's the blind man and the blind man see oh damn it oh my holy shit you're fucking epic reversal took it back the show i'm just came out with a give me my came at you with a meaty punch you use this way to leave the show lin i want you to step up and take my place all right so oh my god i took my headphones off because

it got so awkward and then i put them back on just in time all fellas fucking hey man listen that's literally the first time in history not just his podcast the history of the world that travis got schooled on some sort of melbrook's movie minutia well done it was amazing also i would can i can i counter with a musical question okay so there's a musical being made of your life who plays you oh fuck between brothers are you actually asking the three of us or is this i'm actually asking the three of you god i would get griffin to play me i mean he knows me pretty well i've heard him saying he does well yeah uh i always thought i was kind of a pedero tool okay you can't really i'm sorry to tell you you can't really say that out loud you know i get a lot of

um i get a lot of people who uh i guess when they see me for the first time or something they say i look like elijah would and i don't fucking get it like at all i think it's literally just like dudes with brown hair and glasses that aren't super tall um maybe we have the same frame the same sort of physical we cast the same uh the same silhouette um i don't know how he is as a singer though i don't know that i've ever heard him say for a long time i got chris katan well yeah fucking yeah well yeah dead ringer the problem is i've always been compared to people that like are older than me no one says you look like this 16 year old kid i know so can i cast someone who's like 15 years my senior to play me if the play chris katan if the musical is set 15 years from

now yeah absolutely to you in the future i just wonder how these scribes are going to write so many songs from our musical about looking up locality recipes on the internet and trying to make them because that's pretty much what my life is he says okay here's how i'd cast you gentle yay okay justin peter gallagher i'll fucking what that's bullshit i wanted peter gallagher so bad you don't want to be the gallagher he's my favorite living man it's me justin macaroy listen you'll get him next time don't saltlin manuel's game let me give you a shmere okay griffin also peter gallagher um gallagher too the gallagher it'll be like that frankenstein show where they switch roles every night justin gets gallagher monday wednesday friday well i would say in

keeping with the with the young brown haired man with glasses i would have daniel radcliffe okay i'll tell you that can i tell you a problem though yeah basically everyone's seen his dick haven't they yeah oh my god i've seen it i like reminded me i saw it i like to okay i have a lot of questions let me just say i a i like to keep my stuff mysterious um so that wouldn't that casting really wouldn't work for me let's send it back maybe we can get quay in the picture um b how was that dick though because i haven't actually it was actually it was fine but here's my counter proposal okay we rewrite equestrian musical it stars but the main character's name is griffin and he likes to fucking blindfold fantastic and that way daniel radcliffe here's the other issue

though is that equestrian musical uh is basically our podcast for the past three and a half years we have to put some music to the words we've been saying but i think the content's all there who's travis who's travis um uh yeah either chris katan or michael gambon and we said it way in the future i love it oh my god if there is i don't know why i picked so many british guys for you but that's just how i love that michael gambon plays older travis he's looking back at younger travis and then i get casted in it so i can be good i also wanted tony let me into your club land there was ever a movie with peter gallagher daniel rackliffe and travis macarite i would invent a new format that's better than blu-ray so i and have that be the only film in the format because that's

how i would want to that way you could really clearly see my facial expressions as i had no idea what to do acting with the two of them hey hey harry potter and the dude from the oc it's really i remember when you were sandy coan i love to solve my game uh i got another question for you lin all right this is a little this is a little more serious this is okay theater is my passion but my passion does not pay the bills i have found some success in stage managing locally it's not enough to support my lifestyle namely eating and having roof over my head i have a full time career so selfish not not not filling and often prevents me from doing more theater projects learn to forage uh how do i find balance between needing money to live and living for the arts and

that's from it's a hard knock life in north cornwall township pa the oh theater hotspot yes hot bed time out i mean we shouldn't we shouldn't hate because like we did theater for christ like decades in huntington west virginia the great white way which i say because it's only white people there dude their production of saigon did not work travis was at this is no shit travis was i think you're joking travis travis was in a production of uh fame where oh christ what was the role no forget okay well griffin more strike you're right in that we did have there's a a tyrone show named tyrone who is a young african-american man who sings a song about being black that includes lines like you know i don't want no black jack ace of spades uh that was played by we need no rich

bitch yeah hold me down right it was played by a white gentleman but wait they did dye his hair black oh no now that's already cool you want me to top that i played lord high underling in a 98% white version of the wiz i also played a saimi's person in the king and i so that's that's where we're at did you you underwent a very uh i would say exhausting bronzing treatment for that didn't you yeah i was tanning um every day for 25 minutes a day oh god see that's what that's the you know i'm getting those stories now with heights because heights is getting done all over the country and they're like check out our tans and i'm like no no no i did that for uh south pacific i was the little boy in south pacific that was me i dyed my hair black

can you give me that can you give me that one more time oh boy got it oh my god omelie is uh that's where it came from uh god i wish somebody would write plays for white people what should this person move you know well i mean if this person well listen everyone's trying to find that balance right of of of doing what you love and still having a roof over your head i was a professional substitute teacher for eight years when i was telling everyone i was a writer um i was in fact telling my kids when i was subbing and they would just yell and throw things at me i'd be like i've got big dreams because i turned to chapter three i don't know i don't know maths yes but i'm workshopping this kids tell me what you think um so you

know that's that's the hard thing is like finding jobs that that give you flexibility that's why a lot of actors or waiters i was a sub i was like a professional sub uh forever i used to dance at bar mitzvahs like and not even like that's something they that's something they hire out yeah and it's for something it's really weirdly pimpish it's like they hire you to be a guy to encourage kids to dance so you feel whole you're literally asking 13 year old like hey rachel you're a woman now why don't you get your friends to come dance oh my god lin i did this exact job at geno's pub and family fun except i put on a hawaiian shirt and got people to do ymca same thing right oh basically yeah it's it's tough it's tough that's that's always the

i could have used you at like a couple homecomings i i feel like you could like run hey griffin get up and dance with me yeah yeah and literally be like hey sweet caroline i know this one to you oh jesus christ that's incredible why didn't you go out of dignity obviously i'm out of dignity it's obviously you've done very well for yourself in the in the the acting circuit but did you ever consider going pro at the dance pimp circuit i'm i'm so scared one day a video is going to emerge and and it'll all be over dancing with like a 13 year old girl doing the macarena everything will end that'll be the clip for your in memoriam i saw a great tweet for rob lowe after the uh during the oscars he said that uh every time

they get a shot of him opening a door and smiling he wonders if it'll that's the one they'll use for his in the morning clip um okay i was at a function i didn't really want to be at recently everyone was wearing ties and fresh haircuts the subject of musicals was brought up whereupon i mentioned that i love them when asked what i like i said that singing in the rain and phantom of the opera are two of my favorites these selections were met with a certain amount of eye rolling and dismissal obviously i've seen other musicals but i feel that these are famous and frequent favorites for a reason still i was phased out of a conversation where musicals were discussed almost exclusively uh by lyricist slash composer brothers gaspert what is the most obnoxiously

obscure broadway musical i could spring on snooty theater know it at all that's from petty perspective play bill pedant that's fun oh these friends sound like the worst like the pits right i want to appreciate the classic is there yeah singing singing the rain is like the best movie musical ever it's very good and phantom how old are you griffin phantom's older than griffin it's been running on broadway longer than i am 14 years old and he owned a house and i own a house in that fucked up yeah no it's literally been running uh two-thirds of my life and you know why i this is i always wonder at it i think it's because it gets at like your most emo teenager thing it's like about like a guy who's like i'm immediately ugly but secretly i'm a genius

right they are gonna remake this and it's gonna be called friend zone and instead of a mask and horrible facial disfiguration it'll be a fedora and horrible disfiguration but you know uh if you want i mean if you want to say if you want to like be really like highbrow you just say uh floyd collins floyd collins is like this really great musical by adam gettle about a guy who is stuck in a well and it didn't run that long so no one actually saw it but everyone pretends to have seen it and they go oh well i saw floyd collins is there a is there a sort of relationship that sort of exists in uh in in in music where if your show can make it to broadway it is no longer you know underground is there sort of

that same sort of indie dichotomy of like once a band becomes so popular that like like pitchfork reviews them or features them as best new music that they're not underground anymore like once you won your tony the people just write you off they're like oh he's bullshit i know i know him before he was i saw heights before it was cool i saw the 13 year old girl i like this old stuff when he was dancing with the muck arena at bar mitzvah yeah yeah i liked his his early stuff with rachel um no but uh you know the the thing that happens with musical theater snobs is they like the thing that ran 10 performances or 11 performances and like flopped because no one went to see it and they're like oh i saw because they're the only weird they're the only ones in the room who saw

that that like sort of experiences fossilized in amber that's kind of like a weird uh i've never really thought about three repercussions of like the the the potential for being a snooty fan of theater because people can't seek out like they literally can't seek out this thing that you saw like they they can lay no claim to it whatsoever because it's so right forever the holy grail like i don't know seeing nirvana when it was in a garage was seeing carry the musical because it was like the biggest bomb of all time and there was like a crazy hip hop gym number and so like if you saw carry when it was running like way more people claim to have seen it than actually saw it that's great well that's a crazy thing about it right because almost by definition is if something is really

fantastic and like something you have to see then it will be around for longer right yeah i saw i saw the original actor in the spider-man musical before he broke every bone below his penis he shattered every bone below his penis in the greatest fall i've ever seen you know you joke but it's funny there's like a whole like movement of people who are like i saw the tamer version before they recut it and it was so much better like there's totally that that's the that's the corollary to the like hipster i saw it before it was popular thing um it was like i saw it when it was bad it was great um is there a the room of of of musicals i guess um yes and it's called dance of the vampires and it was um i'm already so fucking on board of this rod and it was a huge

hit in germany of course it fucking was ran 14 performances on broadway and it was all jim steinman music and he's the guy who wrote all of like meatloaf's tunes right okay yes and so it was vampire porn mixed with you know uh i would do anything for love fucking fan so it was it was like basically every movie johnny depths ever been in it was a three hour musical with four songs in it is what you're telling me and and lots of emoting and feelings yeah terrific i am so do you know how i i wake up angry that jim steinman never got to make his batman musical i wake up angry and go to bed angry about it i love me some jim steinman my favorite rumor about jim steinman i've never met him i'm sure he's awesome uh but my favorite room about jim

steinman is if he goes into restaurants and goes i will take everything on the menu thank you that's like a thing i've heard people who have eaten with him say he goes just one of everything thank you he doesn't eat it he just throws it away so other people can't have it just just to have it sure just to have it what's gonna be less food on earth uh thank you so much to our special guestbert uh lin-man and old maranda whoa i kind of barely got through it there hold on hold on right to the end i had a little mini stroke nothing to worry about folks uh what if people want to see you in person where do you live how can they how can they do that oh well you can follow me on the twitter uh lin underscore manwell um and you can come see hamilton uh which will open in january

at the public oh and i'm doing i'm gonna act in a tick tick boom this oh fuck that's right yeah uh at city center uh in june so and that's like five shows so you could just say you saw it even if you didn't get to see it and be like i saw him in tick tick boom i was dancing with rachel i i did more performances of that if it's a bird it's a plane superman lin what's going on tell him to step up that's their whole deal though they do it for like five shows i mean and that's that's the whole thing um but yeah so i'm doing that and uh and i live in washington heights and you can see me on the train perfect lin thank you so much for joining us uh we appreciate you so much and uh thank you for your sharing your wisdom with us it means the world thank you fellas this dream come true

aw i was not kidding about that tony i do need it thank you so much to our friend lin manwell maranda you are uh a hero um and uh max fun donor actually funny enough how much i don't know but that's that's how i judge like how good a friend he is if you want to join lin uh in in our army of love you can help us change the world you can go to maximumfun.org forward slash donate and join up at one of those donation levels five dollars a month you're gonna get 44 hours you can't five dollars a month and you get 44 hours of exclusive bonus content that's insane that's gonna keep you going so long how much do you spend on a movie ticket and is that movie 44 hours oh shit i hope not that's too long that's too long for a movie impacted bowels and how is that

how is that movie theater even gonna stay open for 44 straight hours what are you gonna stay open for any extended period of time charging five dollars for 44 hour movie that's stupid uh hopefully you can spare five dollars a month that's all we're asking here five bucks a month go to maximum fund.org forward slash donate if you can kick in more if you can do ten dollars a month that that would be amazing and you get a beautiful calendar to thank you and more importantly you get uh all of us getting to keep creating stuff that you enjoy we um we use that that money to to grow the network and add podcasts it's crazy how many podcasts we've added in the past year we use it to buy new stuff buy new equipment we bought travi new computer because his died while we were

recording an episode juice bought a pretty sweet sound mixing board um like can we talk about yeah we're gonna do we have the preliminary plans in place for a live show a live recording of this podcast um that we're gonna can we say where it's gonna be in new york city gonna be in new york city big apple sorry everywhere else we've done we've done basically every like quadrant of this country of this great nation of ours except for that one so new york city deets deets soon hopefully what i would say can i can we say a day just so people can keep their calendars open i mean what if it falls through what if we're getting close to just like the event horizon when we might as well just tell them what it is well yeah i okay so new york keep it locked to our uh

uh mb mb am on twitter and our facebook page and you know we'll we'll let you know as soon as tickets go on sale uh there won't be like a crazy number of tickets so you'll want to keep an eye out for that and of course we'll let you know you know on the next episode and stuff so uh that's gonna be really fun and we're really looking forward to it but we're hoping to do more um right over over time so and your support of the max fund network helps make that possible it helps pay for our travel and makes us able to to take some time off work to be able to do that kind of thing we will we take it should go on sale soon probably this week so keep keep an eye out uh and i think there's gonna do it for us you know this week we this is can i just say this since it's our last

one like our last our last max fund drive at um thank thank you guys so much it's it's really amazing that everybody comes out to support us but also that like i don't know we only do this 11 days out of the year and like we never we never hear shit like we don't get shit for doing this you know what i mean like i literally have not had one single solitary person complain about the the drive to us this year you're a job you guys now we're gonna get all kinds of people that are making jokes and cracking wise no that you guys are amazing and it really does it the the fact that you get it like it means the world to us um so i want to say thank you to all you guys um make sure uh at the end of i think it's on friday the 28th they're doing a live stream jordan jesse go

it's kind of like a thank you for the max fund drive so make sure to check that out i'm checking i'm fact checking you right now uh thank you to john roger in the long winnish for the use of a theme song it's a departure off the album putting days to bed um go buy that yeah it's everybody tweeting about the show the live sorry the live show is that they're doing for the live stream show is the 28th at 19 o'clock i don't know if that's pete et ct mt i don't know keep it locked griffin last question keep it locked for 19 uh thank you everybody it's finally yahoo sent in by alan black thank you alan black it's by yahoo answers user cori james who asks did dinosaurs have scrotums i'm just mac roy i need a fucking cosmo sep

i need to fucking soar into a brachiosaurus's nuts it's been a bit of a minute since the last time a final question really broke uh i'm griffin mac roy it's been my brother my brother me kiss your dad square on the lips maximum fun dot or comedy and culture artist owned listener supported