My Brother, My Brother And Me - MBMBaM 217: Clippy Lovemaking Tips

Episode Date: September 15, 2014

Come for the erudite discussion of games industry acquisitions and mergers, stay for the discussion of undergarment oversaturation. Suggested talking points: GamerTalk, The Law, Memory Foam Remembers, Seeds of Pants, Caesar's Revenge, Weird Ask Jeeves

The McElroy brothers are not experts, and their advice should never be followed. Travis insists he's a sexpert, but if there's a degree on his wall, I haven't seen it. Also, this show isn't for kids, which I mentioned only so the babies out there will know how cool they are for listening. What's up, you cool baby? Hello everybody, welcome. My brother, my brother made a advice show for the modern era of breaking news on just McElroy. Wait, is that the breaking news on Travis McElroy? Yeah, a lot of saddened people have for breaking news.

Oh, it's a teaser. We've got our lead video game correspondent, Travis McElroy. I'm Griffin McElroy. Travis reported a lead video game expert and correspondent, Travis McElroy. What's the news in video games? So I think Bill Gates is playing Minecraft now. Hold on, let me read the story. He just joined my son's server, and he won't stop stealing all the diamonds.

It looks like, oh yeah, okay, so it looks like they're gonna buy Minecraft. You can't buy, you can't buy Minecraft. It's a world of infinite freedom and exploration and imagination. Yeah, don't be ridiculous. I'm gonna buy $2.5 billion. I'm gonna buy all the rainbows in the world. Oh, it looks like Bill Gates sneezed and accidentally bought Minecraft. Yeah.

It's like trying to buy all the world's wishes. Yeah, you can't do that. He did that too. He did that in 2010. For $2 billion. I wonder why my dreams died. I thought that was connected to turn 30, but apparently Bill Gates bought my dreams. It's the energy by which he sustains his life now. But now he's using voxels, a voxel-based imagination engine.

Fucking thanks for that Bill, Bill G. Is that I've long suspected that the rich are not concerned about global warming because they are have another, they have an escape plan that they're not telling us about. That's why they're accumulating that vast wealth to make an arc from which to leave the earth and possibly the solar system. Do you think that Minecraft is actually the vehicle by which the world's rich are going to exit this planet? They're going to basically join the mind stream.

Hold on, are you talking like toys level shit? We're like, we all think it's a game, but really we're terraforming a far off planet and it's all real? Or they're going to like matrix into the Minecraft world? Which weird movie are you referencing? What I'm saying is that I'm not, this is completely from my mind. This is like from my mind's eye. I think that the America and the world's rich are going to download their ego into Minecraft

and that will become the new utopia of the rich. So more like Captain N or more like- Stop trying to fucking put my genius in a pop culture box. I just want to know, is it like Cool World? Like what are we looking at? It's nothing like Cool World. It's kind of like Cool World. It's kind of like Cool World.

Are we talking about a snow dog situation? Are we talking about a snow dog situation? What about Out to Sea? Okay, have you seen A Walk Among the Clouds? I've seen Boat Trip. Okay, have you seen Boat Trip? With Koopa Good and Junior. Okay, it's like that.

It's kind of like that. Kind of like that. Straight talk. This is the fucking dumbest and worst thing ever, 2.5 billion dollars for a 300 year old game. Why didn't they email us? Why didn't they email me? Hey Griffin, can we get you to sign off on this one? Ooh, 2.5 million.

Yeah, that's not a bad idea. Sorry dog, reread that letter. Oh no, that's far too much money Bill Gates for this game. Hey Griffin, is it 2007? Should we buy Minecraft? Is it 1991? Not sure it's just born. I'm going to buy his product ahead of time for 2.500 dollars.

Sounds great. That's a great decision. That's a great decision. It's called the ground floor. Mm-hmm. You are on a spaceship overlooking the building because that building is a billion years old and you just spent $2 for every year that that game has been on the earth. Bring it to a scale we can all understand, right?

Maximum Fun scooped up My Brother, My Brother Me, the brand in April of 2011. For 750 million dollars. For 750 million dollars. If they came to us now with 750 million dollars, I would spit in Jesse Thorne's face. I would spit in his face. I would say, look at who you're talking to. Bring the car around, right? But because we're, I mean, I'm massive.

I guess massive would be the word. But what Microsoft has done, Microsoft did the equivalent of coming to My Brother, My Brother Me in 2,211. I don't know, probably. When we're more of a religion, wild diamonds ask religion. Yeah, we're just our energies are contained within crystals. You light a magic torch behind it and we are projected into the world and then we say some shit about a horse.

Oh, no, it's really bad. I don't have a video game podcast anymore. So I just have to tell you to My Brother, My Brother Me audience, that's a crazy thing. Yeah. It would be like coming to the Beatles now and saying, I want to sign it. I just played the Beatles rock band and I had never heard of you guys before, but I love your stuff. So I will need to buy all of you.

I mean, that is what Apple did. Apple did do that. Oh, bad businesses. Apple did that to you too, though. I feel bad for you too. Apple went to you too and said, is he making him buy a new album? And you two said, oh, Blimey, probably not gov.

And then Steve Jobs Jr., the new president, was like, what if we gave it up? What if we forced everybody to take it? Oh, God, Blimey, that'd be great. You'll have to give us some money. How many dollars? Catorce, 14 dollars? I was never quite clear on that, right?

How about 100? I thought Catorce was just like a number and you can make it mean whatever you want it to me. No, it's Spanish for 14. Like, you know what? Supercalifragilexpialidotius, right? You just count up. It's like one, two, three, and then a number that can mean any number. So that would have been free, right?

The first iPod I ever owned was the second hand U2 themed iPod that came with the discography on the iPod. Yeah, they've been sucking that to you for a long, long time. Should we do advice? Yeah, don't buy Minecraft. Don't buy Minecraft. I mean, buy the game. It's a great game.

Don't buy the game because you don't have the plug in because it's free. You paid 2.5 million dollars. That's a horrible business model. I'm going to buy McDonald's and also they give burgers away for free. Overhead. Who cares? Who gives a shit? Questions.

Questions. I've been happily married for two years, but I could not come up with a passable way to address my mother-in-law. I know people usually call their mother-in-law mom or mother or just call her by this name, but it kind of freaks me out. Due to this situation, I usually avoid addressing her directly, which requires a good amount of effort and social gatherings. I try not to call her out directly, e.g. for on the same dinner table,

and she has the salt shaker in front of her. I would do without the salt shaker for that entire time. That is cool. She's like a server standing just looming over the salt shaker. Should I get the salt number? Why do you always have gravy on your sleeves? Well, it's because I'm a far-reacher. How can I overcome this problem, brothers?

And there's a name here. Petra has to just put this person's real name, and that's not what we do. Especially not in this situation. We'll call them Naughty in Nebraska. Naughty in Nebraska, fine. Probably not. It doesn't have anything to do with their question. That's the best one.

Nomenclature in Noam, Alaska. Horny and Corpus Christi. What do you guys call your mother-in-law? Linda. Justin. You know, I've been getting more into mom. I've been saying mom more often. I found myself saying mom more often just because we've been family for a long time.

It seems weird to say Mary. Let me ask you this. It was a pretty natural thing that was something I forged. It just seemed, yeah. Since baby Chuck, did that evolve? Did she take on a grandmother type name from you? I've heard that before. No.

I mean, probably as Chuck's older, I need to talk to Chuck now. I don't need to talk to Chuck at all. Some people talk to her, and I'm like, she doesn't get it. That's weird. Stop wasting your breath. No. I mean, it just sort of happened over time. I will admit, the first time it has to be a conscious decision, I think.

Like, I'm going to say this now, and it's going to be kind of weird, but I'm just going to go for it. And then after that, it wasn't that strange. I mean, sometimes I say mom, sometimes I say Mary. It just kind of depends on the situation. Can I hit you guys with something I've been thinking about? Yeah. Why don't you just call, if you've got a mother-in-law or a father-in-law,

just call them law. Just call them law. And you could use it. It's gender-neutral, and you can just use it whenever you want. And I think, I mean, it sounds tight. If someone was like, hey, law, and I'd be like, yes, that's me. I am the law. Thank you for saying that.

You could go with law mom and law dad. Nope. You can't. Just law, but doesn't that get confusing? It's like, wait, me law or her law? It's context-sensitive, Travis. You don't always have to explicitly say who the subject of any sentences. People are smart enough to figure it out.

It's like when you say you. That can mean like anybody. Or when you say Linda. And you're in a room with a few lenders in it. Maybe you're at a Linda convention. Maybe you are. You're at LindaCon 2014. Exactly.

Maybe you're the hired entertainment. And maybe you should have practiced your songs a little bit. I'm Linda Ronstadt. And thank you for bringing me here. I'm a Linda Ronstadt cover, Linda Nonstadt. Are there any Lindas in the house tonight? Linda's letting me hear you. You know what name I really like is Linda.

Sure is great to be back in Corpus Christi, Texas. This is a tough one. And I mean, I just, I have dropped the honorific so much entirely for my life. Because people have names for a reason. And it's just to let you know where they fit in the great big old filing cabinet we call the earth. Isn't that right, guys? But I think the best advice is to ask her.

Be like, hey. Oh, that's a cool conversation. Can I call you mom? That's not a, that's not a fucking relationship. Ender and make sure you're covered. Excuse me. Can I excuse me? You're on your knees pulling her open.

You're covered in food. Can I call you mommy? Yeah. Well, I mean, I thought this was kind of a throw it at the wall. See what sticks kind of conversation. But I didn't know you guys already have the answer. We don't have the answer. Listen, a lot of times on this show, you've been a part of this program for a long time.

Not Travis, you should know that we don't always have the answers, but we do know the absolute wrongest answer. And I believe that you sort of got the square right. Well, let me. Okay. So let me take another shot of this. Okay. If you're at a point where you're not sure, then you should just call her by her name.

Do you know her name? That is actually decent advice. Because I mean, right now, if I think it's like saying I love you, if you're not ready to call her mom or mother or anything like that, then don't do it. Because it's not at that point yet. I would say two years seems like a long time. But in the grand scheme of things, it's still pretty new. I honestly just got to a point where my mother-in-law had done me so many solids

over our time together as relatives that if I didn't start calling her mom, I was going to start feeling really guilty. Yeah. Like, listen, you cannot be married anymore. You have brought me, you've brought McDonald's breakfast to the hospital like seven days in a row for me. So I'm just promoting you to mom. Congratulations.

Do you guys want an yahoo? Yes. You didn't answer. Yeah, sorry. I did. I was thinking about it. I want you guys to know just across the board, like we got really good questions this week.

Okay. I really love them. Thanks for ruining the surprise. Okay. Um, this yahoo was sent in by Scoobah Steve, and it's a, um, I think a pretty great transition off the last question. That's by yahoo answers user Tony, who asks, is memory foam bad for sex?

Thinking of getting either a memory foam mattress or a topper update. Also, I mean, good sex, not boring sex, thanks for any insight. Oh, well, I'm quite clarified because memory foam is great for boring sex. I mean, I don't want to show my hand, but, um, I make love, like I'm slowly being absorbed by quicksand. I don't want, I don't want, here's the problem. You can use a memory foam mattress, it'll make sex, sex better, but only if you get a memory foam mattress after you've been having sex for a while.

Because if you have sex for the first few times on a memory foam mattress, and then later you're still having sex on it, you're going to look at those previous indentations and think, ugh, what was I doing? Memory foam remembers. Don't remember that. What's with all the elbow imprints? What was I doing?

The weird thing is when you plug your memory foam into your computer, and you, you download all of the information, and it gives you all the stats off of your previous love making sessions. Yeah. And it's me Clippy, a good number of pumps there, Trav. You want me to keep trapping your pumps? It's me Clippy. I'll track your pumps for you, Trav.

Hey, have you tried Minecraft? What if it's, what have you done? I see you added a swerve, Trav. That's fantastic. Oh, you trying to see Dr. Trav? We can take the virus alerts. Hey Trav, you need to compensate for the angle, Trav. You know what I'm talking about.

You need to run a McCaffrey virus check, buddy. Can't help but notice not cuddling afterwards, you jackass. What if you ran it? His erect penis had a red squiggly line underneath it. Oh boy. You spelled O, O, O, O, correctly. I mean, I, none of us own a memory foam, right? I know that we're making a lot of money on this show, but not that minecraft money. No

It seems to me though, like it wouldn't be ideal unless for some reason while you fuck You like to have glasses of wine all around you that you don't want to spill over onto yourself It seems it's so funny to me because it seems like 40 years ago the thing was like it was like water, you know water mattresses Yeah, what are those called water beds water beds, which is like the polar opposite of memory foam memory foam is like Oh, you can like bounce a bowling ball and nothing happens and like a waterbed is like Oh, you moved your elbow and you flipped the other personnel of the bed. Yeah. Oh, well, I think that the I think that making love when you make love in a memory foam You are nullifying a lot of the earth's natural physics and effects and a lot of the

simple machines Featured in a traditional mattress and I think that I think I I mean I love extreme restraints But I I get by with those simple machines, you know, I mean spring sleevers Screws ink. Thank you in crime incline planes things like that and in a memory foam you are floating in the negative zone You know what I mean? You're in print you are imprisoned in the negative zone And I don't you and Zod make a love making love and that can be pleasurable kneel before Zod But I don't think it works for everyone But isn't that true of of of all love making Griffin maybe one man's memory foams another man's sleep number bed

And I sleep another another man's inflatable camping mattress sleep number bed would be great because I have always won in a fuck number That's something they do not feature in the advertisements, but you say what's your sleep number 28? What's your fuck number? 35 Yes, and then someone's like is that the number of people you've slept with and it's like no that number is zero I Just know my I know my fuck number in preparation for that special they find that for you in the store that number is zero and looking Zero plus and then you say why is it zero and he says true love waits and it was a commercial for true love waits the whole time Okay, guys very fuck kill. Are you ready? Sleep number. Yeah memory foam. Yeah, I'm out of adjustable

I think kill the crafmatic just because it would kill you I think to try and Make that two-back piece up on that you get fold up like a panini The sexiest panini Did you see someone did that with us in the Facebook group? I Asked them did I want did I win I nobody won it was the worst I often crash on friends couches because I don't like driving drunk Good for you. My friends are always cool with this because they'd rather me crash at their place then into another car or in a jail Or into a jail. Mm-hmm. My issue with this is that I can't sleep with pants on. Oh, I

Usually get under a blanket and slip off my hands This is just a certain under good question this am I making myself to at home when I do this or is this okay? As long as I don't walk around their home in my undies. That's from sleep. What's when I have pants on in Birmingham, Alabama Oh my god, I have done this move. I know. Oh me. I'm a gentleman. I'm sleeping in my pants as Soon as the lights are off that covers are on those pants are outskis Can we talk about bachelor in paradise just for a second just for like it give me give me 45 seconds to please Please talk about you get a 45-second visa in the finale. There is this couple Sarah Robert

There's this couple sarin Robert and you could tell that Robert wasn't like feeling it. I think he just like that good good paradise Singing you like being a part of the of the beach scene and they went to the fantasy suite on their last day there and nothing happened and I knew that it was a whole situation because Sarah was like Yeah, Robert slept in the bed with me. He never took his jeans off and I was like, that's not love That's not intimacy. That is what a murderer does. That's that's nobody can be comfortable in jeans Nobody can be comfortable in jeans. I hear okay If you're doing this frequently enough that you had to write into a comedy advice podcast to ask us about it

Maybe you need to start carrying like a little overnight bag with you when you go to parties at friends houses and take some like comfy sleep pants Yeah, that's the secret that I have I I bring sleep shorts with me Where what because he's everywhere he goes. He's got everywhere. Well, if I'm gonna be sleeping in another locale bring sleep shorts So, you know, I don't think I basically bring a huge basketball shorts. He's he's I don't think he's ever planning on sleeping At the maybe you need I got it. I got it. I got it You don't want to carry a fucking gym bag around with you to the to the bars, you know, I mean, but you can Sew your seeds of comfortable pants at all of the houses of your friends that you think You are going to pass out at all like a hide a key like you bury it in the yard

Yeah, you you're gonna get probably pay a nominal fee for this service a rent for your shorts And then you place that Strategically a dozen locations, you know, ah fuck I'm real real fucked up. I'm gonna go to sleep, but I can and it'll got my jeans on and they'll be like don't worry Bryce Because you plan for this you planted this pants seed and now you get to reap the the sweet rewards of it You change into those comfy dry shorts and you feel the breeze on your legs and you sleep you sleep the sleep angels Sometimes I just go full nude. No, you don't know you don't you would never you wouldn't and you haven't don't lie to be cool Well, you've been in you have both been in hotel rooms with me where you have seen me go to bed as a shorts-clad gentleman

You son of her the snores of a naked man was a place of trust But that was a place of belief and I'm I'm sorry Justin But that's a huge difference between being in a hotel room that you've paid to be in and just go in commando on your friend's couch Where he also watches. I don't know bachelor in paradise. It sounds like yeah Weird that's why is it worse or better? Worse it's a hundred times worse what I did was worse. No balls on the couch is worse So you're what you're very very comfortable with my naked bodies where you're You're very very very comfortable with Justin

If at this point, yes, I mean it's basically I've grown up with it. It's 30 years of the making Yeah, when I look at your naked body Justin on reddit Thank you when I look at your reddit nudes. I Basically, I just feel like I'm looking at my body. You know what I mean like genetically like it's it's that's those are my That's my screw Say it say the word finish it. It's my scooter basically. Mm-hmm. I can't stress enough. This is triply not okay if you're in either briefs or Really loose fitting boxers. No, that's drunk passed out on our friend's couch in briefs is not the best scene

I think I think boxers in is a is a horse of a different color compared to I'm talking those loose fitting Like really thin. There's nothing keeping the fly together ones. You're in boxer briefs You've got it. You got full coverage and it's almost like you're wearing tiny shorts. Exactly I want to actually kind of bring up a Related underwear issue and I'm hoping that either you guys or listeners can help me with this when I buy boxers And I wear boxers from excuse me when I wear boxers. I like the boxers That have like stretch to them like are a fabric that has some

Flexibility in the stretching and I keep buying boxers That don't have that that are just like a solid Stiff fabric with no flex or stretch and I don't know how to avoid it Is there some sort of language that I should be looking for on the packaging that tells me that I'm getting the kind of boxers I like am I alone here? There's I mean every panel you got to look at what the material is Well, no, you look at my look of work is I've bought a hundred percent cotton that have both swung both ways There should be a sticker on the package somewhere that describes its viscousness rating That is true. I've never seen that. Where are you buying these shorts again?

Everywhere where I'm right online I thought maybe paying I thought maybe like the cheap ones were the ones that didn't have any sort of stretch to them No, no, no, it's like sometimes you could buy expensive ones that are many go go to Target bind go to Target They'll let you just take one out of the package And then you throw it at the wall and then tell me call me when that happens and I'll tell you where to go from there Okay, good. If you don't mind I'm gonna get you on the horn before hand Just cuz I don't want to get into a situation where I'm just a guy throwing underwear in a wall and not a guy throwing Well, not any wall at the underwear wall. Yeah. Oh, okay. There's a water listen

There's gonna be a wall in Target. You've you're fucking 42 years old. How do you not know this? How do you not know about underwear walls and viscousness ratings? See your first day read a book? Have you been living with uncomfortable genitals your whole time here on earth? I'm gonna check my underwear right now. Okay. No, they're binding. They're binding guys are binding. Okay I would be I would be uncomfortable with that level of detail, but it's basically my underwear and balls, too Speaking of Mondays. Oh man, that is not intentional, but hey me undies I I'll tell you what I need to do. You know what I need to do I need to just go to me undies calm

Slash my brother and get some of the best underwear on earth If that I talk about how this ruins ruins my day wearing bad underwear me undies is going to scoop me up in the most delectable comfortable underwear I've ever owned and Whisk me away and if I go to me undies calm slash my brother I'm gonna get 20% off my first order Fuck yeah, and then you're gonna love it Justin. You don't you know what the viscousness rating on these undies are a Plus it I Will not impenet that would just be like wearing a cloud wearing mood slime

No, it's gonna feel so great. It's a it's a delectable weave You're gonna love how the delectable weave you're gonna love how these undies feel on your on your breezeway I guarantee it and it's not just undies. They've got like t-shirts and stuff, too They've got pretty much your your underclothes It's covered you can take women everyone you can take a t-shirt and you can Flip it upside down and put your legs to the armholes and use that as underwear And it's still gonna feel better than the bullshit joke-ass underwear that you're wearing right now I'm looking at the the banner across the top of the me undies website

And it's hear me for a thing because it says men women more and then I thought I said reef her I said refer and that was a much different thing you can buy. We got you. What do you need shirts underwares Lee Did you need a little bit well, did you want a tank top or a dank top? Did you what did you want underwear or did you want pot? Okay, they got close too, so if you're looking for something to drunkenly pass out in covered or in a fog of that sweet sea sticky Mary Jane Your your pass out game is gonna increase tenfold. I guarantee it. I'm on their website buying Underwear right now, and I also have to say that they have some really attractive models men women whatever kind of butts

You want to look at they have got them here for you but then but then but then but then but that's for miles They today they literally made all the models line up and form a human wall of Butts for three and a half miles Mm-hmm Butts for miles. That's my okay. So anyway, that's me undies slashing my brother go there get 20% off get freaking Comfortable for once in your life. Please. How are I? How can you buy more undies? Well? I'm glad you asked if you knew 72 hours from now that you'd have $35,000 What would you do with it? I would quit this stupid fucking podcast hands down hands down

Maybe you'd maybe more normal people. Maybe they could pay off credit cards or start a business or a home improvement project Why would you have a project about home? Oh Man, I fucking threaded the needle. I don't I don't get a lot of like the the MVP jokes of the show So like it feels really good when I know that I just really fucking nailed it And I had that I had the one that like we're gonna do the YouTube breakout video for I fucking love it It never happens. So I know it just happened and it feels great

Well, if you're looking to start on a big project, I think prosper is is gonna be your answer. Yeah Tell me about prosper Travis. I mean, it's a little hard It's a financial thing. So it's a little hard to explain on a comedy podcast But basically the concept is it's like a peer-to-peer lending So say, you know, I'm moving across country and I say I think this is gonna end up being yes I think this is gonna end up costing me $20,000. I don't have $20,000 You sure don't but I go to a bank and I say how need $20,000 to move and they're like, yeah That's not really the kind of loan we give out, right in the olden days

I'd I'd be done that would be it like well, I guess I'll wait two years and save the money, right? but with with prosper I just go on prosper and I make a post, you know I make a listing that say I'm looking for this So then all everybody the lenders on prosper are all other prosper users. So they go, okay, great This seems like a good investment. He's got a good rating. He's paid back his other stuff I'm gonna do this and then you Give that person a loan and they pay you back So basically it cuts out the middleman of the banks and makes it so that you are

Loaning your money and getting that money paid back. I Like this. Yeah, I mean, it's it's a genius idea Basically, you'll never have to set a foot set foot in a bank. There's no outrageous fees. No raising interest rates It's I think it's brilliant if you go to prosper.com slash my brother You can check your rate instantly and it won't affect your credit score and they're offering MBMBA listeners a $50 visa prepaid card when you get a loan There's some text we have to read here. So let me do that other restrictions See site for program and visa prepaid card details

All personal loans are made by web bank and Utah charted industrial bank member FDIC equal housing Oh, go check it out. I Hope it I hope it doesn't still legally apply. It's still legally apply. Okay This is voice. Sorry. I missed the intro to this place. It's several voices It's female Woody Allen. Um, I also check you boys apparently I Have a favor to ask everybody well not a favor cuz a favor

Makes it sounds like I'm asking you to do something unpleasant when I'm asking you to do will be most pleasurable I guarantee it. I want you to to check out Griffin guarantees your pleasure I want you to check out the Lovecraft Brewing Company They are they got a Kickstarter campaign going right now to open up a farmhouse style craft brewery up up Washington And they are they are crafting beers that are all Lovecraftian in nature like the Hypnos IPA the Elder God beer to guard a lot of Bruce Hulu barley wine a

Lot of really really great stuff. So yeah, they are raising money They have asked for our help to signal boost Their campaign and they have a lot of really great rewards for for backers like they've got a couple of lemon edition prints Coasters t-shirts glassware. Yeah on lots of different levels. And if you live in Washington, you should help out with this anyway because it I mean, I'm sure it's gonna be delicious, but also It would also be nice for Washington to finally get like a craft brewing company. Mm-hmm, you know something I that scene it's it's ready to start. It's time to start a craft brewing company in Washington finally Yeah, for once. So anyway, yeah, love craft brewing. Check it out on Kickstarter Facebook or Google

Great Kevin Lockie. I got a message for you from Nicholas Bale. He says hey Kevin. You boy game playing goof I couldn't think of what to get you for your birthday. So here's a message from me to you Happy birthday. All right, really enjoy this message from the three wisest brothers I know sent one month before your special day. So it's probably late You're a cool guy who's fun to game with and I hope this year is your best yet Listen Nicholas don't fucking throw shade on us. So it's probably late. Maybe it's not late I thought that was Nicholas throwing shit on himself and saying I know I did I didn't get in quick enough because I know I have to request them like eight months in advance. Yeah, I got a podcast for you on this network

If you want to throw shade, it's called throwing shade and I think your brand of comedy will be more welcome there Mr. It's also a great show. It's also a really good show. It's like fun to listen to but still also turd Thanks for your money. Thanks for the money and happy birthday turd Kevin. Thanks for your turd money Thanks for the turd money Nicholas. It's not like turds, but it spins like gold Hi, my name is Rishikesh Airway and I have a podcast called song Explorer in each episode a musician takes apart one of their songs and piece by piece tells you the story of how it was made you get an inside look into the creative and technical process and a unique view of a song by hearing just the drums

Or just the guitars or say just a world it's a piano If you're a fan of music if you make music or if you just like to learn how things are made come check it out on maximumfun.org Thanks I got a yahoo here. All right, and it was sent in by Level 300 emerald member shaman drew Davenport. Yeah, drew. Thank you. Yeah, it's by yahoo answers user. How's Who asks What do you think Brutus would reply to Caesar's line at to Brutae I'm doing a project based off the fault in our stars movie poster

The top cloud says at to Brutae the bottom cloud would have to be something after that I was going to use at to Caesar, but I don't think that makes much sense. Nope What would be a good relatively short quote to put doesn't have to be a real quote also if you have better quote instead of the At to Brutae something having to do with Brutus and Cassius that would also work So we're helping this person do homework. It sounds like and it sounds like it's an English teacher who's You know of trying to be fun. I guess I I'm thinking like at to Brutae. Yeah to Brutae. Yeah, maybe I thought would be like three Brutae No, I don't think that's how Latin works. Mm-hmm. I I love the play. I see I think it's the only Shakespeare play

I've ever been and I played Casca You were excellent by the way. Thank you. I was I don't want to brag, but I Was fucking awesome. I got really good reviews from the New York post But I do think that it could be improved if when Caesar's like you did that you did this how you do me if Brutus was like Yeah, you basic bitch You've just been Brutus Travis. He's done a lot of like starring Aaron Paul. He's Brutus. You've done a lot of like Shakespeare Bullshit a lot of follies in your life, so you're probably better at Latin than I am. How would you say in Latin? Yeah?

That's right. You basic bitch I They I rate Didn't do it. Come on. That was low low low hanging. I went on I went on Google translate you went on dad joke translate It'll change your regular jokes to dad jokes I Do not I mean like that scene talk but but real talk. Yeah, there's so many amazing quotes from Caesar That why would you pull the one that's basically like really Brutus really dog really that's what you're good

Like that's the line. We're like, yeah, this is because he put it in Latin. It is just brilliant writing He's just saying you to Brutus. Yeah, like yeah, let's do it. What if you'd be like what if what if in response Bruce is like It's pronounced Brutus You dumb everybody's you get stabbed you don't know anyone's name Everybody's been saying it the whole play Your last words is a fuck-up and then why did you just start speaking Latin? Get the night get the knife hit the part of your brain for English Do you guys think in place the person who plays Julius Caesar thinks like

For like a second every night before the stabbing scene things like What if one of these? Jokesters has a real knife and thinks about like I'm gonna get stabbed for real though and but then the show must go on so you just got to lie there and die Oh, god, what a believable stirring performance. I'd be If I was playing Julius Caesar, I'm the sort that every night before I get stabbed out thing. Maybe not tonight Don't make it up Then what am I gonna say in the play fight them off? Uh-huh. Maybe this night. Oh, maybe tonight. I'll win. I'll I'll make a head

Maybe that tonight Tonight they won't make a heel turn Yeah, I'll just be a work and I'll just pop out like you hear business you hear speak hands for me You pull out a fucking bow staff a couple of sighs like nope Fuck your hands. Yes, and yeah That would be fucking tight That would be sweet, right? If it's the fault in our stars a reference to Julius Caesar. Yeah, I didn't know that

Travis I don't I mean I've been doing Shakespeare for the last five years, but I haven't like been paying attention No, not that close of attention. You've been coasting. You've been floating on that me on these weed That question for you guys often when I arrive at the officer restaurant I want to wash my hands because the subway is a little gnarly I usually lock the bathroom door when I do this but since I'm not using the toilet And I'm only in there for a minute lock the door feels pretty useless But if I stop locking the door, what if someone walks in should I keep locking the door only when hand? Or risk a weird moment to avoid the hassle

Listen, we can we can that was from gmail. We can burn through this one in 20 seconds you shouldn't lock the door when you go to the bathroom to wash your hands because why wouldn't you want to Bragg about the fact that you're washing your hands. I can't envision a scenario in which someone walks in and you've got soapy hands It's like, uh, I don't know No one Your grave Steven Situations for me would be a little more like come on in come check this clean boy It's not doing the nails to not visiting just a water rinse. I did the soap and everything

No one's gonna walk in and be like is that soap on your hands or But on the other hand, I also don't know what the scenario is where someone walks up They try the knob it's locked and then you walk out and they go you were just washing your hands, weren't you? Well, what if it's a freak? Okay, what if it is a single serving bathroom, right? No stalls no stalls an area stall to be seen and somebody just like test the door. It's open They already have their pants around their ankles. They turn turn round do a flip 180 pop down on that toilet start Just tearing the lever off and then they realize that you are in there I think that the concern is more like I'm in this physical space where dumps happen to be honest

I don't know why you wouldn't just lock the door Because you want people to see you washing your hands. I just maybe announces you're walking in I'm just washing my hands. I'm not gonna lock the door, but please don't come in and start pooping while I'm in here Yeah, see you all in like tops 45 seconds I don't understand people who don't lock the door reflexively just like Thank God finally a few moments of peace Just a few moments to myself a few from the rest of them a few moments of peace I'm with you Justin. Just lock the door. I

Guess no one will judge you for locking the door But it will be weird or someone walks in and you're in there Even if you're just washing your hands, especially like it's a small like there's just a sink and a turlet in the bathroom They walk in it's like, oh, I saw I didn't know anyone because they'll see you and think if I had walked in 10 seconds earlier Yes, yeah, absolutely. What are you doing? You sick? Why do you want me to see you see you do that thing unless they see you walk in and they can time out like Oh, it's like 35 seconds. Probably just washing his hands because everyone times everyone times it out no matter what you said And also, why did you wash your hands if you didn't use the bathroom? Would you kill somebody?

Hey Steve, have you noticed that Jerry washes his hands every morning when he comes in what's his deal? I don't know, but he's not pooping. I timed it out Look at my logs stop it Do another question Yeah, oh the past few weeks in University I've noticed several people both men and women sitting there disgusting bare feet on the back of chairs in front of them during lectures How do I nicely and subtly let these people know they are human monsters who need to stop That's from the barefoot belligerent

Yeah, tell on them to the teacher Excuse me teach. Hey teach. I don't teach Pete these feats I'm trying to make friends over here and have a great college experience But Brenda won't care fucking dirty feet off the table. This little piggy went to disgusting. Mm-hmm. I'm trying to I'm trying to enrich myself with education This I feel like this is a much bigger part whenever I go to a movie theater I feel like two out of three people are putting their feet up Maybe not bare feet maybe still in shoes, but up on the back of the seats and it's like when you're born in a bar Like who why would you do that? It's so upsetting to me. Why would you think like this is a cool thing?

I know I'm in public and this is like cuz it feels much of other people hang out. It feels so good It also feels good not to wear pants. I'm not gonna do that listening to a lecture Is the problem with this that we the decent people of the world are just not speaking up enough Shit does this person owe it to the rest of us to just stand up and say Put your shoes on and put your feet down. Oh, and maybe the person will be like, thank you I was waiting to see I never had boundaries before my parents didn't didn't they were like helicopter parents But they never like trained me in how to be a decent human. Thank you for giving me boundaries That person now I know the person stands up. It turns around it was Jason morass

He says you set me free and he turns it he turns ethereal and floats into the air and he evaporates Um, do you ever see people with their be bare feet up like on dashboards in like the passenger seat? I gotta hold the passenger seat But like feet up on the dashboards on long drives. Yeah, this is me out, too No, I mean that was as much not as much but it's still troubling Do you ever Google pictures of the bare feet of the guy from dashboard confessional? Yeah Chris Caravas Do you ever Google pictures of the bear naked ladies? I'm gonna just real quick treat myself

Hey, I'm that note Google if I could ask everybody googling a favor It would be great if any time I do a Google search on an actress The or any any human woman any human woman the very very very first Auto complete response was not feet If I could just like investigate the career of Miss Julianna Margolies like on my own accord and find out like When the year she was active on ER that sort of thing without like the very first response being pictures of her feet That would be like the best for me It's I gotta tell you Justin's both both sides of the aisle too because if you type C H

Into Google it auto fills Chris Caravas feet from dashboard confessional Chris Caravas and then in parentheses from dashboard confessional and his luscious feet is what it auto fills just by C H That's man people need to get their Google habits fixed because this is breaking or start using ass jeeps. Yeah Mmm What if all the features have been asked to use the what a delicious tendency The Achilles tendons are my weakness Thank you guys so much for listening guys and gals For listening to I'd say guys, but I don't really mean that gendered

English doesn't have the the plural People make fun of y'all which but like no, I think that's the best correction. That's the thing to do. I think English. Yeah, anyway Thank you for listening to our program my brother my brother me You can tweet about our show using the mbmbm hashtag or at mbmb am on Twitter if you want to get in on like a huge social media Awakening right now. I guess that's not overstating things too much You should go to the my brother my brother me appreciation group. It is a public group that is I mean It's ballooning out of control. I think I can say that

It is a massive massive group that is growing Like gangbusters for no reason that I can detect no reason at all people it looks like they're posting every you five minutes Somebody's posting something on there. It's fantastic. Um, there's a lot. I tell you what there is though There are a lot of people asking about what episode they can find a certain bit It would be amazing if we can harness this Facebook group to finally make the wiki that we've been Needing for for all these many years or if we can harness it to making us have our own fucking Wikipedia page Which we've never had some bullshit. Come on. Anyway Just search for my brother my brother me appreciation group on Facebook and you can join it and they'll make you happy

You should also check out our new tumblers up. Yes. Oh, yes, it is And what's the what's the m dot tumbler calm? It's just you know Like a regular tumbler. It's got lots of stuff on it I wish you two would add something to it ever instead of just making me do it all the time I put videos up on it. Maybe I'm looking at it right now. You've put nothing up on it I don't understand. I guess what tumblers for I just thought it was like where people put their tasteful nudes That might not be accurate. I'll try to write some stuff on it I mean what it like don't use it to put like your don't use it as like a diary. It's not live

Musings. Oh god, here's some here's some observations on today's news from my skewed perspective It's Travis These are these aren't gonna be the most popular opinions, but goddamn it. They're mine I want to go check that out check out our YouTube page as well I put so a lot of people really liked the adventure zone if you want to share it with a friend we made We made a YouTube video of the whole episode It's a little bit easier to share It's a little bit more consumable for people that maybe don't normally listen to podcasts. So it's on there

So go check it out. I want to thank I'm a said yahoo God damn it. I want to thank John Rodgerick in the long winters for the use of our theme song It's a departure off the album putting the days to bed It's a truly fantastic album. I was I was doing some cooking This past weekend I had it playing on vinyl and it was like 58 degrees here in Austin I had all the windows open and just fell on that that fall foliage That's chilly making that's oh my god. It was a dream is what it was. So get that album. It's perfect for chilly

Thanks again to me undies for supporting the podcast You can go to me undies comm slash my brother and get 20% off your first order and right now You'll get free shipping in the US and Canada and they might even throw a little bit of Nugga weed in the box They won't do that. They might even give you a little bit of a Nugga weed Check out all the other great shows on Max fun This is always the most challenging part. Let's go saw bones, of course starting our very own Justin McRoy and Sydney McRoy Throwing shade Jordan Jesse go bullseye Memory Palace song slaughter

Risk one bad mother throwing shade Wampamp how What am I forgetting slam ban pal slam around pal. Oh, no, Ross and Kerry The goose down the goose down Lady-to-lady. It's a judge on the hood Griffin Griffin last question Thank you all for listening. Thank you. This finally I who was sitting by a lia K. Thank you, Eli It's by Yahoo answers user Ali who asks my dad is a goth. What do I do? My name is Justin McRoy. I'm Travis. I'm Griffin McRoy. It's been my brother. My brother may kiss your dad score on the lips

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