My Brother, My Brother And Me - MBMBaM 231: Candlenights 2014

Episode Date: December 22, 2014

Well, we're here again with our family-friendly episode of My Brother, My Brother and Me, a celebration of our pan-religious, pan-sexual, personal pan holiday, Candlenights. This one was even more special because we recorded it live in Huntington, WV. Enjoy! Suggested talking points: Nana's Christmas trial, great names for teen clothing stores, "I'm the lead singer of the Polyphonic Spree," the Kevlar elves, moped gangs.

Hey everybody, Mary Candlemites. It's your oldest brother, Justin McRoy here. And here's your babyist, baby, baby, baby, Griffin McRoy. Hi. Happy holidays, Griffin. Happy holidays to you, my good friend Justin. So we're fresh off the dare I say triumph.

Do we sound hungover? Cause we is. Yeah, we is, hanging over. We're fresh off the triumph, Candlemites 2014. Thank you to everybody who came to the show here at Huntington City Hall. You're about to listen to the show right now. I think you'd be pleased.

I think it's the best audio quality we've gotten from a live show basically ever. A wonderful surprise. Better than the audio quality of the people who are actually there, which if you're there and you couldn't, you had trouble hearing us, sorry about that. The room was built long before amplified sound

had been invented. And so I guess that maybe there's a lot of echoing. So sorry about that, listen to it now and maybe you'll get the goose that you missed the first time around. Speaking of missed goose, since you're not physically there, a few things you should know. At the beginning, our dad is dressed like

his character from the Adventure Zone, our D&D podcast. So if you're people laughing, that is why. Also, he's a silly looking man, just in general. And that is, what else do they need to address? Oh, we were dressed as the ghosts of Christmas from a Christmas carol. So if you hear us referencing that. That's what that was.

I'm sure you can find images of that. Yeah, just to do a Twitter search. I mean, I don't want you, I don't want to introduce more work into our podcast. Listening to our podcast is already work, yeah. So hoarse. So hoarse. I know, it's a long night.

But we hope you enjoy the live show. We'll be back in the middle to talk about a couple of sponsors, but it's an extra long episode. And it's clean. And it's clean. If you want to share it with family, might be kind of a weird one since it was alive in Vyron.

But we hope you enjoyed it. Oh, and we also got a day named after us. Yes. By the mayor. By the mayor. December 20th, yesterday felt different to you. It's because December 21st, 2014, was MB&BA day in Huntington.

That's true. That's not like a goof. We got a proclamation. It was signed and stamped and delivered. So there you go. There it is. So anyway, that's gonna do it for us right now. I hope you enjoy the show.

We'll be back with you in just a few minutes. Yeah. I am Merle High Church of the popular podcast, The Adventure Zone. You can tell because of my dwarfy voice. The Adventure Zone, one of the four most popular podcasts in existence. All right, let's get down to business.

Yeah. Did you wash your hands when you were done? No. Let us begin. The McElroy brothers are not experts. And their advice should never be followed. Travis insists he's a sex bird, but if there's a degree on his wall, I haven't seen it.

Also, this show isn't for kids. Well, this show kinda is for young adults. This show isn't for real little kids, which I only mentioned so the babies out there will know how cool they are for listening. What's up, you cool babies? All right. He was at half mass before, but now we can begin.

Hello. I just knew how many dubstep Christmas songs. There's a lot. You can paint the dubstep out, it's pretty terrible. Infinity dubstep Christmas songs. Hi everybody, I'm Justin McElroy. I'm Travis McElroy. And I'm the lead singer of the Polyphonic Spree, apparently, tonight.

I'm Griffin McElroy. I'm going to have to take my mask off because my breath is fucking up my glasses. Because I'm the coolest kid. Yeah, let's... Does everybody have it out of their system? You get it? You get it. Can we take...

Okay. I can't... Wait, hold on. I can't take off. This is, like, caked on for a week. I'm going to be opening my presents like this. Oh, we should say, listeners at home, we had a hilarious opening bit where we were dressed as the ghosts. And Justin, he has a lovely green robe and a...

Are you going to garrison keyword this whole thing? Or can we just do the show? Well, I remember in Lake Wobegon when three brothers would really earn attention. If you're listening and you're not here, I'm wearing, like, a cool pair of slacks that I got from Neiman Marcus. And, like, a fashionable trendy but not too trendy plaid shirt and then, like, a square cut wool tie. I look awesome. He looks really great. You know what I actually learned?

I'm wearing gaudy white face paint. Do you know how when you get a tan and it makes your teeth look wider? Mm-hmm. Notice it happens. With that, what was the first thing we were going to talk about? All the show prep, just... Because the first bit worked so good that I was like, man, that was funny. And that's all I can think about right now.

I spent $85 on this costume altogether. 90s are expensive. Another thing I learned, 90s are expensive. And that I wear an extra, extra large in women's for 90s. Perfect. And 90s are hard to urinate around. But I suppose that's not really their intended purpose. Should we start doing advice?

Well, the first thing I wanted to talk about, just to lead off, is just to thank you that it's my brother, my brother and me today. Happy Mbem-Bem Day, everybody. Happy Mbem-Bem Day. That... I cannot stress to you, Goof Society. Let's get genuine. That was a real honor. It was a really sweet thing.

What an honor. That was. I felt very honored. It was a really sweet thing. And it was emotional. Like, this is my hometown. You know, I love Huntington. But I noticed on the proclamation that it says that December the 21st, 2014 is Mbem-Bem Day. It is not an annual occurrence.

And that's, you know, fine. Most people don't even get the one day. I do wish the mayor had told me in the morning. Right. That I got it today. That's like a snow day when you sleep till 11. And it's like, I missed half the snow day. To be more accurate, it's like a snow day, but you just went to class for like seven hours.

It's like, I got four hours of my special day left. And I'm going to spend it in clown makeup. Fantastic. Oh, wait, hold on, hold on, hold on. It's a huge honor. Oh, my God. Huge honor. No, no question. But what rights and privileges do you think we've earned from this?

For the next three hours you're earning? Yeah, like free fruit at every vendor. I don't know. Like what do you think we gave? Yeah, the fruit vendor. You know, the fruit vendor. A huge fruit vendor population. I'm just saying, I wish the mayor had shook me awake at one in the morning.

I don't know why he would be there. Wait, Gryffin. Kisses on the ear. Gryffin and Steve. Gryffin, wake up. And Steve, you're missing it. I wish Steve had shook me away. He's got a key to the city.

He can open any door. That's a great point. You look radical right now, Justin. I'm saying, Justin has removed his fat Jesus beard, and now he's just got fat Jesus hair, and he looks pretty awesome. This is the fullest embrace I can do of Jimmy Buffett's style without actually going to like his concerts. I hope you guys enjoyed the Buffett Buffet and the waiting interim that Justin definitely

put together for you. I slaved over that playlist and only had two James Buffett songs. Can we answer some questions? Okay, who here has never listened to My Brother, My Brother Me before? Oh, God. Wow. So no one wondered off the streets of Huntington. I heard one woo that started like...

So we have an advice show for the modern era, and now, like Chilean miners, we will emerge from... No. Chilean miners aren't still hot. Well, no. You know what? It's candle nights. Do it again.

I'm going to lean into it. Okay. Like Chilean miners emerging from the ground. It's been 38 minutes. Can we answer a question? Yeah. Can we turn your questions out when we like it into wisdom? It's what we do here on the show.

So let's take some of your questions. Some of you may be in the audience. So if you hear your question, start listening because we're going to answer it. And we're not going to read it twice. That's not what we do. And if you don't hear your question, it was bad. You did a bad job. Maybe next candle night.

Maybe next year is a candle night's leap. Candle night's 2015. No candle night's next year, but 2016 you come back double hard. Every four and a half years. I have a close family... This is the question. It's not me. I have a close family member who often indulges in the eggnog a bit too much during the candle

nights. It could be me. It's not, but it could be. This often results in wackiness, followed by awkwardness, then sadness. Like a clown. Like a clown. Travis, yes. How do you deal with the awkward situation of someone drinking a bit too much during

the holidays? Fun starter. Super fun opener for our comedy holiday podcast. Designated driver in dirty jersey. Are you here? Perfect. No. You know, when you think someone is drinking too much at a holiday party, what you really

have on your hands is a question of perspective, because you're not drinking enough. Unless you are, as you literally just said 20 seconds ago, the designated driver. That was for... I figured that was just a little... Any other episode would have put a swear word in there, but I didn't because it's candle night. You guys are missing the best part of this situation. What's that?

So the hardest thing about candle nights is not knowing what to get someone, right? Right? I guess. Yeah. Also there's a lot of rituals that are hard to complete. It's a made up fake holiday. I guess that's the hardest part. What do you get someone ever?

But what I'm saying is this provides you the opportunity to give the best present, which is your silence. Oh, like Uncle Greg, I'm keeping your secret. Uncle Greg, this year? Not going to tell anyone. Go ahead, party dog. Party on. Can you get Uncle Greg an even better present, which is that you get drunker than Uncle

Greg. Yes! Uncle Greg, I am your wingman of drunk. People are going to tell stories about me, Greg. You let me find out. I'm going to be the embarrassment. This year, Uncle Greg, well, for every drink you drink, I'm going to drink one more drink. So drink away, Uncle Greg.

I got your back, homie. I mean, he's earned it. You've earned it, Uncle Greg. You worked so hard, 364 days out of the year, you worked your behind off, again, another swear opportunity that I passed by, let it go. I forget the rest of the stuff I was going to say. Do you guys want to y'all here? Yeah.

Lay off, Uncle Greg. Please, for a second. This yahoo. If you don't listen to the show and you were just quiet because you're nervous, I get it. We do yahoo answers questions. They're all terrible. This one was sent in by... Let me turn up the brightness.

Oh, I have my glasses right here. Now it looks like a spooky nerd. This one, it adds some contrast. This one is sent in by Leanna Callon, who asks, how big are elves? My dad and I are arguing about this. He says that they are all little people. That's not what they said, yahoo, you need to learn some stuff about. They are all little people, like the Kevlar elves.

Okay. Ah, man. Wait, is that a thing? Yeah, it's elves that... Like a SWAT team elf. Yeah. Go, go, go go, go! Blast you!

Slice pie! Slice the pie! You would think the tree would stop the bullet and it wouldn't even get in anyway. They have to protect the elf president. Sure. They are all little people, like the Kevlar elves. And I say that some are human-sized, like Legolas. He doesn't believe me.

Okay. This person is proposing, because they say some are legless size, which would mean that some... They're a different phylum of elves. Right. But there are elves that are both Kevlar elves. Kevlar. Kevlar elves.

Oh, maybe it's a copyright problem. Kevlar elves. You all know what I mean. Wink. You get it. On the deep web. The pointy ones. But the idea that there are some that are legless size and some that are Kevlar size...

Legless was not... Have you seen the movies? He's not this tall. He was like wicked tall. He was like super big. He's a really big dude. Which is funny, because Orlando Bloom is big. Yeah.

He's knee-high to a frog. Do you think that maybe they're interspersed at the North Pole? You roll up and like every fifth one is Kevlar size. And the rest is just all Orlando Blooms as far as the eye can see. That would make... That would be a much different sheen on the children's movies when kids get whisked away magically to the North Pole, to the Santa's factory. Can you imagine opening the door?

It's just 28. Just a 28-year-old dude. Sup. Hey. Hey. How's it going? You want me to make a toy or what? What do you need?

You just want to hang? You just want to hang? I've got a block of wood and a hammer. That's about the best I can do. There's two tools I have. Can I make some with that? Maybe they're partners and you need the Kevlar elves to do the little detail work. The two Hickeys.

Okay. And then the Legolas just do the body work. Yeah. They do the big parts. They build the case. And everyone, like every elf is assigned his buddy elf. Oh my God. And if one dies, the other one has to kill themselves.

Exactly. It's a life bond between a big elf and a... Another north bowl. I just... Also, I need you to sign this. This death... Don't pay attention to the fine print. We've had some staffing issues lately.

The Kevlar elves lifespan is 15 years and the Legolas is 85. What I'm saying is, I guess, live it up. I'm Santa? How many HR issues do you have? That's like leaves. Christmas Eve is the one night a year. Santa just can't take it anymore. What is this factory I've set up?

What have I done with my life? I get so many blooms wasted. I get attached to elves that die after 15 years. I kill beautiful 28-year-old men. I've killed so many Legolas. What am I... I gotta get out of the house. It's Christmas Eve.

I gotta get out of the house. The cookies will make me forget about the terrible system I've created. Elizabeth Town was such a bad movie for him to go out on. That movie was garbage. How many HR violations do you think you'd run into at an all-Orlando bloom work facility? I would discover that magic, Kingdom. I would just run through just pinching cheeks. Like their cheeks?

But then I'd hit a Kevlar elf and I'd be like snap and I'd break his neck. No! And then you'd have to kill the bloom! For balance. And that's Elf on the Shelf 2. And that's the plot of Elf on the Shelf 2. God, Justin, I just realized you're not wearing an undershirt either. You've got a lot of looks going on.

Travis, you look great too, but... No. Do you want to read another question? First-ended family holiday gatherings are the usual affair. Brr, Christmas. After stuffing ourselves on masses of food, our sweet Nana has forced an extensive carol sing into a tradition. Needless to say, everyone hates it. But even worse...

Hang in there. Even worse is the fact that she just sits there refusing to sing... While silently judging our worth as her progeny... Based on how into the third verse of Good King Winslow's We Are... How do we get out of this without poisoning the mashed potatoes? It's a dark turn at the end. Musically morose in Ontario, Canada. Okay, I didn't realize that was a method of murder.

I thought that was like a fun idiom. Oh, I really poisoned the mashed potatoes this time, huh? You thought the Canadians just had completely different idioms from us? Man, I'm sorry, you guys. I tried to get it done on time, but I really paid my grandma on that one. I'm just imagining this like Emperor Palpatine-esque figure just like sitting on a throne. Just like, yeah. Excellent. Yes, this pleases me.

My puppets of flesh really hit the high seas. Skyler, sing to Nana. My angels of music. Angel of sing for me. What is this character? It's the Nana. I thought that was clear from context. I just wanted to hear you say it.

It's the Nana. I want you to own it. Oh, God. I'm just going to pretend that this isn't an actual thing that happens in the world because she's so uncomfortable thinking about it. Is it possible? Wait, maybe Nana doesn't tell you where she is in the room and it's like Elf on the shelf. You have to find your Nana and she's spying on you somewhere watching you sing and you don't know where.

She's in the cabinet like the Baba Duke. Is your grandma a Baba Duke? We didn't even consider the possibility. Mama Duke. No, I got another one. Is it possible that your Nana knows how much you all hate it but you all piss her off so much? She's like, I'm old. Sing the song again. Almost. Almost. He stopped it.

He stopped. That was good. But you have to play it out like a different word. That's the game. You didgeridoo. That's good. That's pretty good. So hard. We should set up a swear jar where if we swear, we have to put $50,000 into like a savings account. And then the first one of us that dies gets it? No, hold on. For every one of us that dies, you put another $50,000 in.

Dad, you don't use money. Do you guys want a yahoo? Please. Do you want a yahoo? Okay. Seamless, seamless transition. This yahoo was asked by, oh, it was sent in by Ira Ray. Sorry, what was the name?

Jesus. It's our first time. No, Fat Jesus. Fat Jesus. It was sent in by Ira Ray. Are you Ira Ray? Absolutely. Delicious. Pretend I'm your Nana. Sing for me.

Sing for me, my puppets. Does anybody know the Wi-Fi information for City Hall? The password is GovRocks. I just typed I'm the mayor on a notepad and I hope that it's my day. How about that? Work for me now, Wi-Fi. It's my BimBam day. I can't tell you who asked it because I don't have internet access. It's asked by...

Name anyone. I'm panicking. I can't think of a single name right now. Steve Williams. No, that's the mayor. Oh, man. I can't show my teeth. Griffin, do you need my iPhone cable? No, it's fine. I'm just not going to know who asked it. It's an eternal mystery. We'll call them.

We'll edit it in. Okay, everybody be super quiet because we're going to leave some silence here. If we can edit it in the name, I'll dub it over. We're not going to do this forever, Yahoo. Paging Mr. Herb. This mystery Yahoo user asked, Grandma got run over by a reindeer? Seriously? By the way, my super smooth transition went right in the toilet.

Do you think this song is disrespectful to grandmothers? Or just a nonsensical song simply meant to make people laugh? Why do you think the author chose grandma instead of grandpa? Or any other person? Would you play or sing this song in your grandma's company? In case you've never heard all the lyrics because everyone's always laughing. Are they, though? Throughout the entire duration of the number.

Grandma got hit. I can't hear it. Pipe down. Who got hit? Is she okay? I need to know the backstory to enjoy the song. Show of applause, who unironically has ever laughed at grandma got run over by a reindeer? Exactly. That was even an ironic clap.

I don't want to leave him hanging. Sure. I think my favorite part of this question is the idea of it being disrespectful to the Nana. And then the idea of it comes on the radio or your playlist. Oh, God. She's watching. I knew it. You're out of the wheel.

I'm sorry. It's too late. I don't know why I have my hands like nose ferrata there. Our Nani is not a nose ferrata. Our Nani is a lovely woman. Is our Nani here? Nani, are you here? It's our Nani.

It's our Nani. She's right there. Nani, you cool with this jam? Raise your hand if grandma got run over by a reindeer, offends you on a spiritual level. No, she's cool. They can't say no. By the way, friends, hi, it's Justin McRoy. I'm a third of the podcast of my brother, my brother and me. If you ever want to really amp up the difficulty of your life,

record a podcast for four years where you talk about basically the most horrible things you can imagine. That you can't imagine. I think it comes to us from another realm. Then do a Christmas show in your hometown full of people. Then drink not an unconsiderable amount of whiskey backstage. Then put your Nani in the second row. Best of luck. No pressure.

No pressure? Does the grandma die and grandma get run over by a reindeer? Is anyone familiar? Grandma died on the reindeer, and then went through extensive physical therapy. Every bone from this point down was shattered. Does anybody know the song Better Than Me? Then she learned a newly sung live, and chose to leave her family. She got another fitness membership, and she looks great because she put in the work.

She's really doing it, and I must say, it looks terrific. looks awesome but we miss her we miss her she doesn't come around now she's always at LA Fitness I saw you know they work they turn this into a cartoon I watched because I watched a lot of cartoons now new baby and this is you're showing your new baby a cartoon based on grandma got run over by a reindeer it was just she know about death yes this is how you're introducing the concept of die we already said but she doesn't die but in this one Santa finds her and she has amnesia and he takes her back to the North Pole and she becomes Mrs.

Claus. What? Take that grandpa. Burn. What the hell? Santa stole your girl. Santa stole your girl grandpa that's your back old man Santa's clumping up on you part of this job is to gotta treat her right listen that jingle bell behind you always nipping at your ear grandpa big fat man coming up with a ball full of jelly gonna steal your girl it's me look up the chimney I got your woman I made my reindeer's run over I take your girl she's mine now you never love her I love her you don't know how to treat a woman I'm Santa I saw grandma kissing Santa Claus and then leaving with him and never saw her again we have literally

just described a big part of this job is she not like me she's gonna come a lot more than once a year you know what's up look up your chimney I got your girl it's me Santa I'm done a big part of this job ho ho ho is to come up with like allegories and illusions that's basically the subtitle of the show this is not one of them that is literally and exactly the plot of misery I was gonna say overboard no it's misery it's a misery for sure y'all that is literally a lot of misery was we just did yeah let's get a general question ever we're gonna dip in to well we're gonna have to fix the

mic because our dad broke it with his goose was it worth it dad I think it was but we are gonna have some questions from the audience just a few because you guys are very far away from us and we maybe didn't think about that beforehand so start thinking about not a bummer holiday theme holiday theme without swearing I swear to God that's okay we can take the Lord okay that if anyone breaks our streak up if we get a Baba Booey up here I will lose my mind because we've traveled back in time Baba Booey is still a super hot cultural reference Justin bring me a hot cue off that list we're on the third one a hem a hem

whiskey sketch them but Papa for the past five years a friend and I we exchanged no nope not funny goofed on it I meant the real third one with the star next to it that we use that was our clever code to say these are good questions did you see the star and you're like wonder what that means this face paint is so hot it's like I have 15 extra layers of skin on my face what you don't know is it's lead based oh great read the question Justin right last Christmas I come from a multi-faith family so we celebrate Christmas and Hanukkah there's a name for that it's Christmaca what is the best way to fit

candle nights in our already packed holiday schedule that's from dreidel's and Donner and Dallas I think that candle nights solves I mean candle night solves a lot of problems just like worldwide but eventually it will eat both Christmas and Hanukkah for nourishment and we'll keep growing and pretty soon it's gonna be the only game in town and if you think he's being figurative then you do you don't understand candle the physiology of candle night the old one that is candle night the elder god that is that we have to feed lesser holidays to that's why we appease him to last another millennia

that is why Mayor Steve Williams came up with my brother my brother in me day it was not to honor us it was to keep him a dark unnamed far far below the mantle of the earth another quick candle night snow as you know candle nights is a pan religious pan sexual personal pan holiday that we made up for ourselves so everybody could have a party together we know we have a lot of Christmas imagery on stage that is not no tiny 10 was Jewish fair enough fine that's not for lack of trying Griffin and I scoured every store in the tri-state area that was we went to one that was also the target we went to our target we went to

the target at Mary Creek and I tell you it's ironically for God's chosen people you don't have a lot of selection there I didn't see a single menorah or any sort of Hanukkah decoration I should have grabbed it while I was in Cincinnati we were out of CVS and saw a kid this story is about the time you saw a menorah I'm going to lose it no we saw can you believe it no um where to make it all what no we saw a kid for a Hanukkah house which is a gingerbread house can they not accept the icing is blue and white terrific nice try gingerbread house empire wait uh what was the question how do I make room for candle

nights well you come to show first star for you here well what is going on bad start not a great start to your listeners at home we promise there are people here some people are here you're not having a hallucination where you see other people great stuff was it this is not bad you know we're a little drunk but uh we hope that you're enjoying the the show so far started to interrupt but we want to tell you about a couple of our sponsors here in the the money zone I want to talk about hulu hulu hulu is the new version of hulu they've just updated sort of their whole with a liquid you with a liquid an umnaut that they tossed in there um you've tried hulu well sorry sorry sorry you've tried hulu um I want to tell you about hulu plus plus plus hulu plus is a new swedish form of hulu

no it's it's uh it's an expanded hulu plus is an expanded bigger better version of hulu that has all the current season episodes of a lot of your favorite shows like modern family the daily show with john stewart modern family modern family sorry and it's got every episode of southmark that's an exclusive to hulu plus you're not going to see that anywhere else if you want to stream those this is where you're going to do it what's great about hulu plus is it works on all the devices that your mind's eye could possibly conceive of talking about smart tv's talking about rocus talking about go coups talking about apple tv's talking about snapple tv's i'm talking about your xbox i'm talking about your gax box gax box the console you use to only play uh gax the

platformer from the mid 90s um uh hulu plus uh will let you watch tv in the bathroom if there's a stronger advertisement for it i don't know what it is they also have original programming like eastlose high hotwives of orlando uh the awesomes quick draw a lot of really good stuff on there that you won't find anywhere else because hulu made it it's eight bucks a month uh 799 i guess but come on it's eight bucks a month and you're gonna get your shows anytime anywhere now but but but but but but you're not gonna pay dollars a month at least not right now you will eventually because you're gonna love it so much but we're gonna give you a two week free trial you're gonna go to hulu plus dot com slash my brother and uh you're gonna get a whole extra week for free

yep to do that and never be bored ever again stave off the lonely times to have a lonely times in holidays with uh and entertain your family you know what i watched on hulu plus i watched uh elf buddy's musical christmas the the new animated version of elf with jim parsons it was good it was good you know what's best it was on hulu plus you are covered in barf right now that's baby vomit you know that's my life uh hulu plus dot com slash my brother i love that jim parsons he's just like what he's like bazinga bazinga what a talent now let's say i wanted to tell you that i just watched the elf buddy's musical christmas but i don't want anybody to ever know about it well just send me an email or maybe a facebook message yourself no no no

everybody's reading those anybody can read those shoot yep there's no way to be private and secure in these times wait hold up twist hold this hold the phone got good news for you cut cut the phone wires because that's how they get you there's a new thing it's called syph it's a next generation messenger app that lets you take back your privacy syph this whole time i've been calling it syph you are an idiot yeah it's like the beginning of syphor without the ur like seriously right and syph sounds like uh i don't know like a shorthand way of well it's candle night so uh syph was founded by former space x engineers whoa that's real science they know how to like send messages to to like jubiter and stuff uh so that i'm pretty sure they have terrestrial communications

basically on lockdown at this point syph is free to use works on desktops works on tablets works on phones uh and you can securely send photos through through syph photos and messages they got more stuff coming to there's gonna be secure voice and video calling bitcoin integration anonymous syphing via tour uh and uh it's a it's really impressive so you can start syphing right now i i don't know if you want to jaren to that but they're making a go of it so here we are you can start syphing right now at syph.com that's cyph.com if you go to syph.com slash my brother or we've just been alerted syph.horse that's great that's fantastic you'll be bumped to the top of the invite list for early access of the next version of syph syph lock your stuff down

because they are happy candle nights i want you all to have a wonderful holiday season they're coming for you and everything that you have syph it syph lock it right up i've got a message for noa from bale bonds bale bonds that's berry bonds little brother bale bale yes i am bale will i play the baseball too no bale bale you can't you have no arms you have no skin you have no skin you know skin bale the baseball would hurt you terribly what's the message the message for noa from bale bonds is happy we haven't planned a wedding in a year day happy candle nights happy 30th birthday you're the only person i'm always happy to be around thanks for loving me and i'll do the same ps there's a gift hidden in the house that starts with that's wh and ends in iski so

iski find it love bailey oh that's very sweet i got a message for laura clues from michael and jeff the message is happiest of birthdays lou from your adoring adoring brothers and i think this is just put in this like to raise the difficulty curve on us from your adoring brother m m oos there it's m apostrophe c o o s e m m oos i think and your dearest gwe gwe go fwe gwe go fwe gwe go fwe is what brings us together today uh happy happy happy happy birthday lou laura clues whatever you want to go by clue dog and happy everything to noa you got sort of a scattershot approach to well wishes there yeah just sort of just sort of threw the well wish spaghetti at the wall and saw what stuck and you know what everything's

stuck you just wasted a bunch of spaghetti i hope you had a great uh birthday lou and uh thanks to michael and jeff for purchasing the message if you want to get a message like this go to maximumfund.org slash jumbo tron and you can set that up there's a little bit of a backlog so if you want one of the next few months you should hurry over and do that okay so we're going to go back to the show one note about the section you're about to hear uh during it uh as you're listening to it please imagine our dad dressed as Santa Claus sneaking on stage just put a note in a boot and none of us noticing and none of us noticing uh and just know that that is happening during the next bit so you won't be completely lost and a happy candlelight if we

don't if i don't see again a good morning good afternoon happy candlelight happy candlelight everybody is a joke from that movie what was it happy truman show happy truman show to you and all your kin how about i read another question let me go to i well i have something to say really quick um i have an apology uh to make usually at this point in the show i would do a sad lamb but but don't encourage him there's nothing funny about it whatsoever we have sustained the elder gods to a point where we can manifest our own will in the material plane so because of that power we have eradicated it from existence you're welcome everybody but i want to apologize because in the holiday hustle and bustle i ran out of time we'll edit this out right

yeah yes sure okay and i apologize because i did not write one uh really yeah i just wanted to let you know um now we may move on you know that we had like a super long time to prep stuff uh and you could have done it during the time where we were upstairs eating subway you could have like sat down done a tweet how much time goes into creating a sad lib like four minutes four minutes i saw it yeah yeah i've seen it before i did not have that one's unplugged so i don't know what's going on that one's inflated wait hold on and that one's right in a sweet jet ski god if you're not here guys you're just not going to get a lot of this stuff that's going on travis what are you doing it looks like there's something in the stocking

it looks like there's something in the stocking you say oh thank you you're doing the lord's work out there wait it says here that you guys helped with this a little bit we did married mary candle knights uh fun game for the audience listen and see if you can pick out what's words justin and i submitted to this horrible horrible bit that has never worked 231 episodes go for travis it was the shunt before candle knights went all through the gulp not a corn maze was spelunking not even a bum the dumpos were hung by the commode with nougat and the hopes that corn cob boy soon would be travis you're gonna have to slow slow down for laughter okay so you got a pause for a pause baby the dirigibles were nestled all snug in their butt kiss i get it while visions of quasi

moto dance in their butts that was a good one and maman her buttress and i in my front butt are you guys eight had just settled had just settled our belch for a long winter squeegee went out on the flugelhorn there arose such a jack and ape i sprang from my jello to see what was the matter a way to the embryo i flew like a skeet to robin the chattanoogan and threw open the mcloxer when what's my wondering razzle dazzle did appear but a miniature griffin and eight tiny jortsman with a little old long one huh with a little old wormy so lively and quick i knew in a moment he must be st moist stop and now zebra now humdrum now astral on chrysanthemum on reiterate on capitulate how much should we charge for tickets

do you remember too much he was dressed all in pumpernickel from his head to his foot and his pianist were all tarnished with asses ashes and soot his forts how they twinkled oh my god his teflon how mary his cheeks were like constantan oboe his nose like a scrum dintaly anxious he was chubby and plump a right jolly old smackdown and i puked when i saw him in spite of myself and i and laying his mottie is it the whole thing and laying his mottie molly coddle aside of his front butt from but twice good word job word smiths and giving in i'm so sorry up the dead travis heroes but i heard him exclaim erie drove out of sight mary candlelight's to all and to all a good worst thing that happens in the podcast

thank you all thank you all for sitting through the last sad libs ever and now it's canonical uh how long have you been going like three years a lot of people do the this isn't funny but we're doing it anyway but not a lot of people have the strength of will to commit to really not making it funny we're not it's not a goof it's really not in any way entertaining griffin and i are joking for the poetry yeah you yeah uh maybe if we do a few more honeyton live shows they'll name you like poet laureate of honeyton west virginia uh i got a yadru for everybody if you're into that this yadru mystery night was sent in by jude ovenport thank you level eight thousand yadru shaman jude ovenport it's asked by yahoo answers i forgot i can't see that data because i am not

connected to the website kreg as my yadru answers he's a kreg Ferguson no it's just kreg question mark kreg kreg kreg asked if you gave people your greatest gift what would that be i just didn't know you better help you didn't it's all i've got my best gift then in that in that context would be a sharp editor's eye a keen eye on the the old audacity track uh god my greatest gift that's my greatest gift i would probably make him french toast i'm pretty baller at that you ain't got eyes french toast i would say probably tender kisses anything special about them or just like that's all over my greatest gift would be for me to film travis giving you the kisses because you want to you want to remember it goes by so quickly i mean it takes 14 minutes

but it seems like i would upload them into our movie i would use that one that looks like a map opening up and i would put some music underneath it something real nice some five for fighting some superman by five for five that's what you need to kiss them for three minutes and five seconds which is the runtime of superman by five for fighting and i'll tell you all someday why i know that information well it's gonna work because when i kiss people um i do it like one might apply um uh glue stick and i to their own body who does that i push on and then maintain the same pressure and then just you maintain contact around like a slug it feels like a slug it's slug like that clean your fish thing for you right remora remora i believe is what those are called

you're a doctor fish is what you're saying did you just point to your wife like tell them about the great kisses i give you take a minute you want to come on stage and talk about my precious kisses five out of five would kiss again yeah okay well can i um can i get sidebar real quick super quick sidebar sure uh i know the bit that we talked about was that we wouldn't see scanna santa when he came out to put the thing in the boot oh okay in the come on a little bit listen listen i accidentally looked to the left because i was like where is he and because i had thought he wasn't out yet and i saw him and it scared the hell out of me i you may have noticed a moment where i seemed suddenly terrified for an instant imagine you're

just like doing your podcast here and then you adjust like pan left and there's a santa who's just been there the whole time it was really really scary can i ask you a question i'm still trying to get over it can i ask you a question hit me have you seen sydney since we started no she's been spirited away to the north pole you've lost her forever he stole my girl he can treat her better than you can it's just the truth well he's got all the Orlando bloom she's gonna be swimming in blooms that is tough uh we want to do another question what should we take question from the let's do a few more because we got a bunch of oh okay well let's say this we're gonna do one more prepped question

and then we're gonna do an audience question so have one ready and be ready to hustle because you've got to make it you literally need to run don't no don't like stamp don't rush up here just raise a hand and we'll point in a direction but seriously you better come correct oh i'd be scared he's making a list and he's stealing your wife i am in charge of making i am in charge of making desserts this year for the candle night celebration i love baking but i'm worried i might go a bit overboard so i just like to know how many cookies are too much that's from countless cookies in california

oh god too many cookies what a four right cultural references topical humor he's got it all four cookie the answer is four cookies four per person check your halloween's check your betty crocker as the formula that's gonna eat four what if you only want two um then somebody else has to eat six i guess i'm not a scientist it's a one cookie and one cookie out policy the uh the dessert i made two desserts before the boys came in i made uh chocolate uh uh peppermint popcorn with sydney and i did after trelly went to bed and we also made funny at any point are you just sort of bragging about your i thought we were done with the funny parts uh did a cornflake wreath uh and i was curious

this is fact fine this is not for jokes um did anybody make cornflake wreaths when they were in their area is that a regional thing or is it just a west Virginia thing you just applaud you can't ask like a broad you have to do yes or no applaud yeah did you what area are you from i kind i kind of made them okay we'll go state by state Alaska i ate her no upper montana upper montana i ate a regular wreath once i was high i don't know this character is bad mr bad collapse he's weird ghost drunk he's drunk ghost baby i don't know hands together i don't know uh a lot of this is going to be contingent on your bank of cookie points a lot of people don't save those up for the holidays but you got to because it's it's like the best time to trade them in a lot of people

what's up griffin smacked a cookie out of my hand in my own home because i was actually watching him eat chocolate peppermint popcorn go like trying to do the cookie math in my head like that was a big chocolate chunk so i'm gonna say maybe 14 cookie points for that it was hard it was very flying by the sea we got lunch uh you know and now food stories we're prepping for the show apparently there's a new restaurant in huntington called cookout cookout and i what's up huntington all my homies from cookout here we got lunch for six people it was 31 dollars thanks cookout you did it i have not had vegetables in like three days because we've been traveling and i said could i just get like some vegetables and their songs was

onion rings so i had a hamburger with extra lettuce and tomato so it's like a salad on my burger it's a salad sandwich um should we get some folks up here yeah yeah who wants to ask us a good question and do a good job right there right there are you ready no but behind behind right there yes you yes you come on up a nice cold burn you guys can pick next okay uh what do we fill it everybody big hand round of applause that way yeah we're the go to where the flamingo is between the water slay santa and the lit up flamingo don't screw this up don't blow it don't blow don't screw this up though no pressure all right so is it gonna be a bummer lots of friends lots of family getting together louder louder please or hulu plus thing don't know how to pick

it spend an hour looking how do i eliminate that problem are you looking for some hot flicks recommendations right now i'm looking for a method to pick a netflix or hulu thing without wasting everybody's time okay that's the thing called the queue yeah just have your queue loaded up with all your latest latest and greatest uh uh uh picks sometimes you know you can misjudge the netflix pick sometimes you think you want to watch uh that russian documentary about models that are really put through the ringer and you get about halfway through and you think i didn't want to watch them really in the holidays i has a lot of fans you know what grandma and auntie helen will love than one about the russian models who've been put through the ringer has

anybody has anybody ever gotten so frustrated with the like the pressure the this i'm sorry i didn't catch your name sir uh jeff jeff hi jeff that's a great name has anybody ever gotten um uh uh so so bogged down by the pressure that jeffrey is describing that uh you say to yourself jeffrey i'm done i'm not gonna pick a movie i'm just gonna play literally the first like whatever is on straight the time and leave the room secrets of nim enjoy secrets of nim i'm out uh jeffrey out this is a true story enjoy this judgy this is a true story jeffrey don't do this jeffrey jeffrey i i was it was christmas eve i want to say like three years ago uh and i was by myself at your guys old place uh the one that the tree destroyed and uh it was christmas eve by myself

doing laundry in your house by myself turned on the tv and what was on the tv it was a documentary that i thought i want to watch this it's christmas eve by documentary was deer zackery yeah that's a good one that one's a slam dunk santa popped down the chimney like oh oh oh no no they did what to the kid no so jeffrey uh we don't have an answer for you but take comfort in the fact that no matter how bad you do it won't be worse won't be as bad as that yeah i do have an answer for you jeff here it is you got to throw it out to the room and not take all that pressure on yourself yeah because that's the problem you get like whatever the controller is in your hand and you feel like it all rests on you and it's okay to say what do you want to watch what do you

want to watch um tough guy or just turn off turn off the video on demand services turn on tv because there's always something on although everybody here first of all thanks for being here second of all you'll be watching rudolf nope right now and you're welcome you could be watching jingle all the way to on abc family we have protected almost 600 people choir movie viral payload you're the only safe people left in the world it's just us now the doors are sealed we love those we're gonna start a new society everybody start making love because nothing puts hey no they put dirty words there will be adult situations it's whoopee time because nothing puts people to mood better than a fat jesus telling them to make love

hey jeff good job man you're done you did it crushed it let's get somebody from the maybe oh yeah wait wait you pick griffin well no this person's already moving in yes do it finish yes come on come on come on that's a great coach i sneezed earlier and i wiped my nose and i had this pain on and i forgot to put it on i almost walked out without reapplying and it looked like i had done reverse cocaine hey hey what's your name hey uh ben thurston from richmond virginia what's up richmond richmond crowd no okay what's up for the past year or two i've been involved involved i don't know exactly how to say it i've been riding you're doing great so far hang in there i can't hear you it's fine okay

okay with moped clubs oh sweet which uh essentially are uh motorcycle club light so motorcycle club is is basically motorcycle gang i'm familiar with okay explain what a moped was yeah it's basically like a motorcycle with pedals how is the club going please finish your question we're haranguing um a lot of my friends who are not involved with the moped community just don't get it exactly they're called mo pedestrians that was all right how dare you uh and you're asking well is should i listen to what they say never no okay is that was that it because no when you're listen what i'm sorry to take your name what's your name sir uh ben thurston bit just ben is fine ben yeah we're not getting married ben we're just doing a podcast

ben when you feel the wind rushing through your hair at 15 miles an hour do you think when you're getting somewhere moderately faster than walking when you see when you see a recovering grandma uh jogging past you do you think that their their jibes their jabs are gonna their japs are gonna penetrate your psyche they're not you're gonna be thinking about one thing one thing only and that is freedom do you know ben real talk if i may ignore everyone else who okay can i use the bathroom yeah here's the deal ben what that is is you found a thing that makes you happy and that you enjoy and for whatever reason there are people in your life that look at something that you to take unashamed happiness in and they don't feel that and so they mock it

and they won't accept the fact that you are thoroughly like you are unironically unashamed of how much you love you ironically ride the moped now you interrupted me a few times so well tough buddy hey it's my bim bam day it's it's not dare you i'll interrupt whoever i want if the president walked in it'd be like hold up wait i got a butt joke to make well okay keep going we were getting serious for a second it's not mockery uh it's it's a serious um they're worried about you yeah he's too he's too real we lost him uh uh is it a dangerous i saw a tom wolf novel in his back pocket the other day he's too far gone we'll never get him back i'm going to shift to the other side of i also think it's possible to begin to love something too much oh that becomes like

your defining feature are you moped dude you're not wearing moped a tire i don't think you do have a hole in your jeans is that from a wicked accident they just spin out on 60 going 15 every time anything gets brought up you somehow compare it to mopeds and you're like oh yeah who wants to go out to dinner speaking of going out have you guys ever gone out on a moped i think moped mopeds are rad i think they are fuel efficient what do you get what do you get with your ride i've never i've never and i actually don't have a moped i have a scooter there's a difference guys you're the freest person i've ever met uh i think you are living so right and if anybody gives you trouble you call me here's my number he's a creepy ghost i'm a creepy

ghost i will haunt them i'll float around are you ever worried that the people in moped club will know that really you just ride a scooter and they'll find you out no because he would go much much much much much much faster than them way way super fast i mean we get there like surprise the spring chicken they'd be like our legs are tired because we've been peddling our motorcycles um i don't think you know what i'm but don't let them us get you down you're living so right and i'll beat up anybody who says differently griffin macro guarantee big hand applause for ben everybody you know the um good news is about ben's club is no matter how bad it goes it can't be worse than the scooter club my friend jason elders tried to start in

college my friend jason tried to start a scooter club and it was late and he decided we were gonna start a scooter club uh that scooter club total got up to one and it was jason and eventually jason's scooter got repossessed and he's such a nice guy he helped the nice man load his scooter into the truck as it got repossessed i also don't think i should have you're right i made a bad adult decision you're right i'm agreeing this for me i can't be trusted i wish i'm here jason are you here now somebody jason is here he told me he's here yeah one time i watched justin wreck on jason scooter going negative four miles an hour while he was screaming the night writer theme song it was the funniest thing i've ever seen in my entire life i wish everyone in the universe had been there

to share in that magic moment with me uh should we get another let's get someone on this in this i saw no that person what yes yeah the one he just pointed to your head no wait wait what i can't tell you oh christ it's right there right there right there okay no you ma'am yes yes yes come on up sorry a lot of false flags there sorry everybody fill the silence fill it i've been doing shows in this theater since i was 10 years old you know my first one was huck finn i couldn't remember i was hoping she'd be up okay cool good segue hi what's your name my name is jamie hi jamie hi welcome to the podcast thank you um i have a question about christmas eve okay sorry i'm out of breath don't recognize it as an unholy day but go ahead i do like the preface i think that's night 16 of candle

nights is yeah so i have a question about the 16th of candle nights yeah where do you find all the sheep let her ask her question sorry go ahead with your question so i'm jewish and my fiance is christian and so uh his family we live far away from his family so sometimes for the 16th the sheep night of candle night right yeah she miss if you say the sheep night well right okay so sometimes for the sheep night we would uh go visit his family but this year we're not so we're just by ourselves him a sort of christmas person and me not a christmas person i have a great documentary you could watch that night if a kid dies i'm sorry if you haven't seen it a kid dies it sucks go on so we don't really have any big plans for the holiday um we're gonna do presents on the 17th

okay um oh okay i forgot the bit we were doing yeah so we're gonna it's christmas day we're gonna do some christmasy stuff we don't have plans for christmas eve and another non-jewish friend of mine invited us to uh no a jewish friend of mine non christian i'm gonna take notes okay griffin your notes are the scribblings of a crazy person they're all adventure zone notes it's like it's like train robbery goblins sure why not please finish your question we are the rudest human beings on the planet but it is my bin bam day so what's up so we don't have christmas eve plans we were invited to like a sort of christmas orphan non like for the jews and muslims for sure um the question is so he's got like a nostalgic

attachment to christmas eve but we don't have christmas eve family plans you don't have the trappings exactly okay so should we go to this non christmasy party for folks who aren't visiting their family or should we spend christmas eve just the two of us and our cats how many how many cats two are they cool oh two yeah i know they're super cool okay well that's a horse of different color which is ironic because that was the line that jesson said is lord growly oh my god you're right wizard of oz anyway to answer the question that the person directly in front of us just asked oof um man that's gonna be hard because your your your boyfriend is gonna roll up like time to knit a stocking for everyone because that's what i've done my whole time on this planet

is your boyfriend here yeah he's over there so hey okay uh here's what you guys have got and it's it's it's a really great opportunity to now just do whatever you want and then let it shake out what becomes a new tradition right you can really like wheat and chaff this and say like we're gonna do these 10 things i liked four of them we'll keep those four and the other six we don't have to deal with that that's the problem how many traditions do you think have been started about people doing something once and they hated it but no one wanted to admit it to anybody else they've been doing it for 10 years and then the next year they're like we need to sing in front of nana again right we got to sing in front of nana i guess are we gonna have time for our annual

dear zachary going they're not gonna sing in front of me again oh god they're so bad so bad i don't even want to sing with them uh yeah i mean you guys can make your own traditions now and that's a very special process but i totally get one that was my i'm not to disagree that's my noise i'm about to disagree i think it's better to be with a bunch of people to be fun oh yeah yeah no i'm not saying to be alone i'm saying make the traditions with other people boyfriend your official title here's the thing you craig craig you can enforce your traditions because wow you're really putting craig on blast right now i love you but if you want to quit due to the service listen here you jerk word and that's the best i could do in all honestly

like if you try to recreate those traditions like you can do them but you can't expect the same results as it was when you were with your family i don't know i don't know what went Travis transition like guy at 2 a.m and you're both really drunk and he's like no no you listen to me sit down it's my turn lean back in the b-back it's mbm bm all i'm saying is that all i'm saying is that it's it's the expectation game of you can roll up and do your tradition and relive that experience but it's with a new set of people and new variables and it will be different and inherently the tradition will alter because you have new people is the tradition could there be a tradition that you're maintaining that's something awesome already like oh my whole life on Christmas eve

i get turnt i get turnt let's go to a party and it's like what do you do craig what's his name can you just tanner tanner i'm gonna sing with craig that's better um what do you do what do you do craig is like oh i get oh i get totally totally turnt and they're like yeah sure and then you all do it together and that's how traditions get born this year for Thanksgiving i went and hung out we went i just crushed it with the this is how traditions are born no it's great we went to an orphan's Thanksgiving thing and uh my new friend where is everybody find all these orphans my new friend we sam came downstairs and he goes so uh before dinner do you guys want to shoot bow and arrow and the answer is yes always so we went in the back of their apartment complex well not

there and shot a bow and arrow into a cardboard box that's because we're adults yeah that's sweet two stuff like that you'll be fine yeah okay thank you i believe in you thank you thanks joey we think every year my family gets together to decorate the tree we all eat cookies and stuff it's great there's just one problem you know what i'm gonna read a question there's just one problem i hate decorating the tree i'm bad at it but my parents insist i help this year i tried to hang out in the same room reading a book while they're decorated hiding from christmas they they were not having it and forced me to help am i a bad person for not enjoying this part of christmas yes am i required to help

that's from decorating dingus in minnesota can i uh sorry just to break the flow of the show can we turn the house lights off because i could see everyone and it's giving me the yips give me a turn off those lights please please sweet jesus people disappear make them disappear there they go there they go it's just us again goodbye we're back in the bubble how how how is anyone bad at decorating a christmas tree it's literally are you putting everything decoration up and it's six inches away from the tree and they're just dropping on the ground they're putting everything on one branch it's like a beautiful christmas horn steve you just put them in your beard again oh steve you ate the popcorn garland and then you just kept eating ornaments right off the tree

like some sort of giraffe also i want to say this i love that you said okay i'm bad at it i don't like it so this year i hung out in the same room thumbs up and read a book thumbs down was the book how to be good at basic human tasks like putting bobbles on branches couldn't you at least watch the bobbles being put on the branch say good job you see it you see it good job good good bubble placement nana here's the learning curve for bubbles on branches boop once one time and you got the logistics of it down you hung them on the wrong tree you put next door you broke into the house next door and put it on their tree how are you so bad at this why are you a cat that's been transformed into a human today it's pretty funny podcast i'm just watching it over here and it's

pretty funny we do a pretty good let me try one hold on could you crush up all ornaments and throw them in the chimney the kid does his best i don't know what to tell you jesson did a great thing with his face uh we need we need subtitles i really like the idea of like a christmas tradition where it's all about um we're done talking about christmas traditions that was the last one we're on this idea of like we do it all together yeah it's a family thing but only five of us are good at it right susan another great year banner year great year susan steven killed it debora i'm touched brad brad you spray painted the tree brad we spray paint brad solid d minus better than last year you threw it out the window as you stood up the window on it brad you got trapped in the tree

you got stuck in the tree brad you're stuck in the tree get out of there oh brad you died oh brad oh brad just hang out your family are we done yeah it's uh it's been uh it's been about uh so you guys want another one are you done you spent all right last one last last one that's the closest we get to to on feelings yeah what what dark turn it's starting to seem like we shouldn't do another one jay griffin oh well yahoo if you got one you guys want to yahoo a regular question cool that was not good planning on my part i'm sorry all right so who makes cornflake reeds shout out your home state uh oh god this is really hard this one you think yeah all right this one was sent in by

rachel spurling recognize that game everybody take a moment a moment a moment of silent reflection and appreciation of the game there it is rachel spurling thank you uh it's asked by yahoo and i'll do it again it's i can't read it no internet this is what it was like in olden times uh marsh shon asks marsh on lynch marsh on lynch asks how do i come up with my own punching combos i'm sick of using other peoples i thought like holiday you drink punch so we give me another wait griffin i'm gonna v2 give me another one give me a different one a different yahoo yeah give me a different one you got a lot give me another one you just don't want this one i'm so interested throw it back there's a little too small what about that here

isn't sick of punching combo jokes i had a whole bunch of zangief goofs i was really waiting to bust out but i guess i'll pocket those for the next time i can talk about zangief which will be never thanks for the great christmas justin the paint wore off my face i'm white with shock right now that you could be so inconsiderate they're all terrible comparatively but okay what about that clothing store give me that one yeah sure this one was sent in by shelby lorman i don't have a fun thing for you shelby uh justin kills all griffin's fun uh it's in uh local businesses other local businesses pretty good categorizing yahoo uh this mystery user uh asked good names for team clothing store

now the question's not that good but i bet are there answers there are so many great answers thank you for asking justin okay what does yahoo answers think she should call our team clothing store and keep in mind real people thought these were real good i uh john keep in mind double someone sat at a computer is like what am i gonna do uh let me see tip tap tip tap fashion writer was the first one that's writer r i d e r and that's a pretty sick name for uh i am the fashion writer uh fashion writer agent x said the shack okay okay well not specific lady thunder or lady thunder is that what it sounds like with a space and without a space is that what that was lady thunder uh western sahara what what you know how teens they like clothes and dry places sure right

they don't want and steve zahn movies he was in sahara and that's your steve zahn fact of the day if this is your first time tuning in welcome to steve zahn day uh desert gyms what what's the desert hang out desert gyms did i miss like what's a good name for my team fashion store and also sand uh young and fun how about young or fun oh sure i'm super old your clothes don't work for me but watch me juggle uh american teen come on uh american teen again by a different person choose different people somebody read the first time there that's good i'm taking that i just wanted to feel like i'm also contributing that's way better than what i had american uh samuel said fashionable 14's so that's a very specific type of clothing for people

who have been alive 14 years and nobody else uh jerry says american teen jerry postal piece says american teen guys read it read it above it's just above are we missing are we not tapping on the zeitgeist here it sounds like the people are ready for a teen clothing store if we have a teen clothing store called american teen there will be like 13 000 y'all who answers you or should be like hey boy just a gosh darn second that was my title uh copyright me knee hard says dream world whoa what about cool world mock mock lesser says rag day hey it sure is not rad threads with a z uh that's all the good ones what are teens what about this

yeah travis's travis's teen queen boutique travis's uh inconvenient alibi what would you what would you what would you have at travis's i'm assuming you are the owner and proprietor of travis's you're the titular travis i am just lead investor okay i've been looking to brand yeah i'll give you the front money one thing uh i don't know what teens are into there's more pages but sadly no one will ever know them yes please the spooky nerds yeah okay cool i can sell this for 89 dollars a slight markup on the price i paid for it god i hope this goof was worth 85 dollars to everyone here and not the people listening because they can't see my awesome nighty and floral bonnet new kids on the block don't my little pony

not close cereal that yes cereal but got you so if i can combine those five things yeah in a one look that's travis's lowercase t because it's trend oh yeah it's open for a half hour a day i'm looking for investors there's no peg phone outside don't bother looking and the show's over that's the end that seemed like a pretty good end for our progress um welcome to the series finale of season one my brother my brother the first 231 episode first season no one else has the it's an arc do you see no one else has the guts to do it we did um okay so thank you great to do to close it out we come on griffin's literally falling up we are all uh oh god is it almost midnight my ectoplasm i guess most notably thank you all

for being here oh my god honey did city hall auditorium uh uh to there are people who got on a plane to come to this we're okay we're regretting it did anybody come more than a hundred miles just raise your hand okay anybody come out more than 200 this is the worst more than 300 400 500 i know there are people here from switzerland are you here switzerland you remember switzerland they didn't make it okay i was gonna say switzerland well there we go hey goodbye that's a dream that's bananas i'd ask if anybody came from further than switzerland but there is no place further than switzerland read a book because it's a made-up country it's uh so thank you all for coming thank you to our nani for being here and everybody else who we know

but mostly our nani our nani mainly for being here hi nani uh thank you to everybody for coming thank you to mary steve williams mary steve williams give it up thank you city hall staff thank you city of huntington thank you chase the gorilla foot productions thank you everybody who volunteered there's so many people who show me volunteer thank you so so sorry our daddy uh he's on the adventure zone well this is another podcast listen to it therisa and rachel thank you thank you the billions corporation josh our agents thank you michael sullivan for running our tech he does another podcast called slightly merman pants i hope they come back we'll start listening to that again thank you the maximum fun network thank you to saw bones uh marital tour of misguided medicine

and uh thank you to all of you for coming um to close out the show if you've never listened every time we have griffin give us one last yahoo answer it's something to uh to grow on to think about to dream about to live in a live in absorb to stand in to stand in stand in your truth and uh i want to i want to hear that last one right now griffin okay it was sent by nick key thank you nick can't tell you who asked it i'm sorry everybody we uh santa claus asks oh cool uh is it wrong to have a fetish for gingerbread man i'm just a macaroy i'm travis macaroy i'm giving macaroy it's been my brother my brother me kiss your dad score out the lips thank you okay

it's never between the two of us how much fun it's gonna be to guess oh my god thank you you