My Brother, My Brother And Me - MBMBaM 234: The Legend of Cracker Barrel

Episode Date: January 12, 2015

We'd ask that you enjoy this episode, but thanks to the New Constitution of the Chill States, you don't really have a choice. Be cool! C'mon. Niiiice. Suggested talking points: Farewell to Middle-earth, Heraldry, Pokepsychology, Supreme Judgment, The Midnight Amendments, Savers Love Heist, Beef Nuggets, Durancis

The McElroy brothers are not experts, and their advice should never be followed. Travis insists he's a sexpert, but if there's a degree on his wall, I haven't seen it. Also, this show isn't for kids, which I mentioned only so the babies out there will know how cool they are for listening. What's up, you cool baby? Hello everybody and welcome to a very special My Brother My Brother In Me funeral for a friend, saying goodbye to the Hobbit 2015. I'm your oldest brother Justin McElroy. I'm your middle-est brother Travis McElroy. And I'm your youngest brother Tom Bombadil. Griffin, are you sad that you'll have to let Tom

Bombadil go? Tom Bombadil lives in my heart now, so he doesn't have to go anywhere except for when he stops that heart right up, and I have to go to the doctor to get the Bombadil out of me. We've been watching Lord of the Rings movies for 17 years now, and now we're saying goodbye to the whole franchise. By 17 years, you mean that we watched all six of them back to back, and then there goes a quarter of our lives. Approximately 17 years. We're going to say goodbye to the character Peter Jackson. Goodbye Peter Jackson. What are you going to do? Invention. He was a motion capture by Andy Serkis. There's a little Andy Serkis in there, and you just can't see him because he's surrounded by CGI. I wanted to say Tony Serkis,

but I don't know who Tony Serkis is. I want to take a brief pause from the funeral for a friend saying goodbye to the Hobbit 2015. I'm a little over the Andy Serkis thing. I get that he's got a stretchy face. I'm into that, but this guy has played this range of roles that makes you think that maybe, just maybe, people are just lazy. We need a monkey. Andy Serkis. Andy Serkis. We need a little lizard man who loves rings. Andy Serkis. We need Ben Affleck. Oh no, we double booked him. Get over here, Serkis. Get the side of your dick out. You're going to be in Gone Girl. You're going to play the side of Ben Affleck's dick in Gone Girl. King Kong. Andy Serkis. Maybe he just is the only actor in Hollywood that doesn't mind having shit stuck to his face. Maybe. Do you think

that dude is like, can my face be in this one? And they're like, sorry, but no. We can CGI the shit out of it. And we're going to put Armie Hammer's face on your face. Can you please put my face on the side of Ben Affleck's dick? And I'll be like, gone girl. I only just met her or something like that. Can you write some incident, you know, at all ad lib. It's fine. So anyway, we're saying goodbye to the Lord of the Rings franchise today. We got a lot of great guests lined up now. I know what you're saying. The Lord of the Rings franchise did technically wrap up December 17th last year, but there's not a lot going on. To be fair, critics, I would say that it wraps up when it leaves theaters, which is today. Today they just revoked all of the,

all the, if you didn't see it by now. Get the fuck out of here, Hobbits. You're done. Just with a broom and it's like, hey, hey, hey, get out. Your movies are too long and they cost the same as other movies. We need shorter movies in here. We need Taken 3. It's a brisk 86 minutes. I bet it is. Cause there can't be much movie left there to make, right? I didn't see Taken 2. How'd they get her again? I think he should keep a close eye on people. She ate like a cookie that was underneath the box and the stick fell out and fell on top of her. Andy Serkis dressed up like Liam Neeson and rolled up in the house like, come with me. We're going to Baskin Robbins and they got in the car and

Come with me if you want Rocky Road. And then she looked and it's just Andy Serkis, he's covered in white magic effect balls. Let's ask people questions. Well, we're not going to ask people questions. That would be a pretty weird like reversal of our normal form. Why don't we ask questions and then just wait for the listeners to answer? Okay, here question one. How do you make a funny introduction to a podcast? We've tried 234 times and we can't do it. My SO and I currently have an anniversary coming up and we live in the same house. Recently, I walked into his office and saw part of what I immediately knew was most likely a section of my gift. It wasn't finished, but I could see what

was happening. It was on the floor. So not exactly hidden or in the process of wrapping. Am I good? Should I pretend fake surprise when he gives it to me or should I come clean? That's from I am the Ira Ray. Is that a confirmed Ira Ray? No, it is not. I don't know. It's a it's a it's a fucking Andy circus inside an Ira Ray suit. Yep, it's a fucking garbage. But let's help them out regardless of the fact that they've just perjured themselves. You lie. I mean, you lie and you lie and you lie and you lie and you bury the truth in your heart where even you can't find it and you lie. Why aren't you just walking around your house if your anniversary is coming up? You gotta be you gotta put them present blinders on. You know what

I mean? Like a like a month out before Christmas, I slice the pie before I go into any room. I throw a flashbang in there. I get a snake. I get a snake cam. I put it through the lock on the door and just like scope it out. And you know what? If I see the glimmer, if I see a fucking UPC barcode on anything, I leave the house and I come back tomorrow and I try again. And you plant some cocaine there. Why would I? Is that the definition of adulthood? The day that you stop looking for your presence and start actively trying to avoid where you think presence might be. Yeah. And bad on this dude for leaving these sweet honeypots out on the floor, haven't even started wrapping it, haven't even finished it. Like he wanted you to find it. What if this is a faint, a faint attack?

Yeah. What if it's a what if it's like a double blind bluff? You're getting duped. Where you're like, oh, now I know what it is. But you don't. It's a car in the driveway with a bow on it. You thought it was going to be a bookcase. Ha. He asked us to tell you here on the show. It's a car. Look out the window. It's a 2008 Toyota Camry. How many miles? 60,000 miles. One previous owner. I don't know. This sucks. We were hanging out with a couple, a friend couple the other night. It was a fruple. It was a Christmas, a fruple. And we were all going around. We were bowling. And so every time somebody went up to bowl, there are significant others said what they were getting them. And when they did this

transaction with us, they were like, I'm getting them tickets to this show. And then they went up to bowling like, all right, what are you getting them? And it's like, I'm getting them tickets to this show. And it was the same fucking show. And I didn't know how to handle that situation. So I elected to do nothing. Oh my God, Griffin. That's an impossible scenario. Right. You tell one person you've ruined Christmas for that person because then they know what they're getting and they have to go out and get something else for that person. It ruins it for both of them. Yeah. I mean, you have to choose who you're going to ruin it for. Or I think you did the right call actually just letting it happen because that'll be maybe like a sweet thing. It was bad. They survived.

Their marriage survived it. So I guess everything came out. Can you tell us what the show is? Jersey Boys. So I guess I could go to Jersey Boys back to back nights now. I think that's the plan. And the second time they go back, they'll just like lean over to their neighbors and be like, oh, you're going to love this next number. They do a doo-wop. They do a doo-wop ditty that you might be familiar with. They sing it around a lamppost and then around a trashcan that's on fire. Last night, he kind of buffed the G. So let's see if it makes it. He buffed the G. So let's hold up. Oh, God, landed it. Got it. Got it. Perfect. Be careful. Be careful out there, guys. It's a minefield out there. You not only have to be careful about avoiding your own presence, you have to avoid

other people's presence. So you don't land in this thorny Kobayashi Maru that I landed. But this is the thing. This is the other half of present is like the gift that you give half of what you give them is like your reaction, right? It's not just the present you give them. It's the reaction of the present they give you. So yes, of course you have to lie. Of course you have to act surprised because you can't just sit there and go, I knew what it was going to be because then you're robbing them of like the joy of giving you a gift. And if you and if you tell them ahead of time that you know, you're doing something even worse, which is making them have to come up with another gift idea, which is already the hardest thing that any human being does ever right now. Yahuanyahu.

Please. This Yadru was sent in by level 600 Yadru Shaman user, Drew Davenport. I don't know if he actually uses, he probably has a Yahoo account, right? He's probably got like a Google or it that pops up every time anybody posts any dumb shit on Yahoo. At this point, he probably just has like a force of people that just sends him stuff and then he sends it to us. Right. He's got no, he's got elves that work for him at this point. He can't get all the houses. Well, they need work now that the hobbits wrapped up. Can we get people to just start saying hello to Drew on Yahoo answers, just commenting, Hey Drew, I'm assuming you're here. This is an anonymous user. I've never seen this before. There is no user information on this anonymous user. That's like

maybe they got super blocked, double blocked. Or it's like the president. The president of the United States of America, Barack Obama asks Barack Hussein Obama asks, what's a clever way to invite someone to medieval times? I want to invite someone to medieval times, but I need a clever way to word it. So that's not, do you want to go with me? I can't find a way to ask with the theme of medieval times apparent in the invitation. Any ideas? Oh my God. It's so obvious. What's that Travis? What's obvious? Okay, you have to fake some kind of accident or traumatic event, right? And then knock them out probably with chloroform or some kind of drug, right? But then you wake up in the medieval time and you act like you've traveled back in time and you have to escape

this horrible like time trap you've fallen into. You're talking about a black knight kidnapping. Yes. You're talking about a kid in King Arthur's court and also you did not come here willingly. Yes. An unwilling kid in King Arthur's court. What happened? Oh man, aren't the diet pepsis affordable? I don't think it's not going to hold up for long. It's as thorough and complete as you think it is Travis. Like that dude's taking a picture of the joust with an iPad mini, so I don't think it's not going to hold up for long. The first time you look at him and you're like, how did we get here? What did, and your friend's like, well, I got four bars, so I'll just call, I guess, just call a taxi. Call my dad, hold up. Hey dad, I think I got time teleported.

Again. Again. I don't get it. I guess there was like, we were like trying to banish the deadites or something, but can you come get me? Have you guys been to medieval times? Never in my fucking life. Are you kidding me? Just in a year? I'm going to lose my mind. It's incredible. I don't doubt it. I love, I mean, I love everything that got going on, showmanship, um, um, mutton legs. Now I have not been there for 14 years, so I can't speak to how enjoyable it is as like a full blown adult. I also can't tell you if the production quality is kept up. Well, it's, it's great now cause actually cause they're like, uh, they're in like the pre-Renaissance era, so less, less, less jousting, more like bathing. Yeah. What? More bathing. I guess maybe

that's when they cracked that code, huh? When, at what point did we as humans go, our bodies fucking stink? I wish there was something we could do about this. Perhaps dunk ourselves. Could you slap, slap with a glove? I challenge you to join me at medieval times at dawn. Here's what you're going to do. You're going to walk to school. You're going to go, you're going to run into them in the hallway and you're going to be holding your tummy like, oh my tummy. And they're going to be like, what's wrong with your tummy, Steven? And then you, Steven, be like, I don't know. You tell me. And then you lift up your shirt to reveal your tummy and it's covered in leeches.

And then they sell out. Will you go to medieval times with me? It's going to take a lot of leeches. Oh my gosh, it's going to take so many leeches. You're going to need to buy them. You can get them on Amazon with prime shipping. But don't leave them on there too long. You're going to want to get some extra blood in your tummy. You're going to want to put some extra blood in there. I don't know how you do that. I don't understand why you can't just be straightforward about it though. Why do people have to trick people and go in at medieval times? Do you know how stoked I'd be? Why can't you just say, do you want to go there? Do you want to go there? It's like, you've seen it a bunch of times,

but they want something. I get it though. You know, you want something, so many things in this life from mundane. You want something with a little bit of magic pizzazz. Can you hire a herald? I don't think... Mr. Travis McRoy requests the pleasure of your company as you journey through time to adventure at medieval times. Check yes or no. I don't think you would say time quite that much. It's a little bit redundant. It's time for adventure. Let's travel through time to have a good time at medieval times. What time shall I pick you up? Check yes or no. I got you a more to stay at the time CV to listen to on the way and we can read a copy of Time magazine to stay entertained. Travis, I know you've been seeking steady employment in Los Angeles. They season the

food with time. I think that maybe you might have just stumbled into your new whole life because you did a really great job. Thank you. If anyone needs a freelance herald. To invite specifically to invite people to medieval times, Travis will need a bugle. I will also do fancy parties if you want me to introduce as people come in and say like Lord Tom of Cruz. I'll do that. That's a pretty fancy party. Yeah, that's the thing. You're trying to, you want to set your shit apart? What's the crossover of Tom Cruz enough that Tom Cruz goes but also they hire Travis to be a herald at the party? One to one. It's a circle. Okay. All parties. I got another question. Dear brothers, I make a career change by leaving the safety net of

corporate auto insurance to instead own and operate a gaming store, board games, card games, and role playing games. The store is a solid customer base, but recently competition has been spawning and that worries me. How do I differentiate my brand? So my Pokemon will bring all the nerds to the yard. That's from Dungeon Master Dan in Iowa land. Dungeon Master Dan. Why me? Just because he mentioned Pachamon specifically doesn't mean that Gryffins. How many of us have ever played in a Pokemon tournament? Me. I came in second place. Out of how many? Like 14. Nice. Yeah. I think you jack your prices up. Okay. Wait, what? Jack them way up. You got to be the most expensive game in town. And that will help, you know, it'll help cut down

on your losses saying says competition and also make your shit seem like a premium product. Maybe if you spend an extra $1.50 on a Pokemon expansion pack, you're going to get the, the, the, the Hella Foil Magneton in there that you've always wanted. Your heart's true desire. That's, that's what I'm saying. It's a mental connection. I'm on some Malcolm Gladwell Pokemon trading card game shit right now, where if people spend more money on their poke packs, they think in their brain, I should spend more money on this and there's a better chance that I'm going to get a Mewtwo. But there's not, right? There's not a fucking, of course not. But it's, it's, it's all poke psychology. Maybe you could make your store a little bit more inviting. Like maybe make it feel

like an event every time people go. Maybe have a couch there where people could watch TV or movies together. So you're talking about a couch where people can watch TV and movies together? Yeah. There's this store that just opened here in Huntington called Rare Drops. That's supposed to be a retro gaming store. And I walked in and there's just people sitting on a couch watching TV. And I couldn't figure out how to buy things there, but it seemed like a pretty chill store. Did you walk into someone's house? This is like my house. Hey, this is like my house, but you sell Pokemon. I'm into it. I'm into it. They also had balls. So what do you mean? Like a ball pit? Balls? Oh. Oh, balls. Balls to the drink? Balls? You could make it like any gaming store I've

ever walked into that seemed to be popular. And while you stand behind the counter, chat with somebody about some really specific game that I've never heard of and don't make eye contact with me. So I have to wait really awkwardly to find out where the really weird thing I want is. Yeah. So if you, yeah, if you could do better than that, you're already ahead of the pack. I think maybe have it, if you set up a table with four chairs around it and just say like, listen, this is for you to whoever wants it. It's there. You're going to get a crew together. It's like this, you know, and they're going to plan a heist. You know, the old legend of the Cracker Barrel where people would gather, they put a chessboard on the Cracker Barrel and they'd

sit at the cracker store and they every once in a while knock over the board to get some crackers out of the barrel. You know how that goes? Like maybe you need your own modern version of the Cracker Barrel, but it's like a card table where people could just play, you know, or any other board games that are popular right now. What the fuck have you been talking about? I just say, you know, Griffin, you know how you would gather around the Cracker Barrel. And there were crackers in the barrel. That's not a great play. You're going to have some staleness issues. You have to carefully lift up the board so Steve can get a cracker like every five minutes. Can I get a cracker? Can I get a cracker, please? We just fucking started. We just

fucking started this game of checkers. We're both super good, so it's going to go. Please, just one cracker. I'm real. I'm eating some chili over here. I need something to dunk a brew. Let me just one cracker. Come on, guys. It's never just one cracker. It's never just one fucking cracker with you, Steve. Oh, Steve three crackers, they call him. It's the only cracker store in town. Come on. Don't I don't have to drive to Texas or Canada to get my cracker fix, please. You can play. You can set up another game of checkers. All right, Steve, we're going to pick up the board. You get all the crackers you want now. All right, we don't want to have to lift it up again. Okay, let me just get... Oh, guys, I ate it all, but I still want some. Steve,

we specifically said get all the crackers. Okay, we're going to do it one more time. One more time, Steve. Why don't you just have two barrels? What do you think we are, the Rockefeller, Steve? You could play your game like on the porch. Just set it down on the porch floor. Maybe if we had some kind of giant carpet rug chessboard, but that's ridiculous. Let me knit one of those up for you, Cracker Barrel, LLC. Get there. Get there for Pancake Sunday, Fun Day. You know what? Here's my God's honest answer, because we even play in D&D for the Adventure Zone, our new hit podcast. And I've gotten a lot of tweets from people saying, like, how easy is it for us to play D&D? And it's not just that. Whenever we write on Polygon about a local gaming experience,

be it a board game or a local video game, people always say, this looks fun, but I don't have anybody to play it with. I still feel like there's shit like meetup and all that stuff. But I feel like if you can come up with some way of getting people together, like some sort of dating service, but platonic Katon matchups, I really do feel like that's something that I'm sure that I'm sure there's absolutely like lots of solutions for that. I know that Dragon's Lair, my local friendly neighborhood game store does that. But I don't know. I just feel like there's still that's still something waiting to be mastered. And if you can crack that code, like, fuck, yeah, I would get down on that. How about every Saturday, like you demo a new game,

right? And then you offer a discount on that game during the demo. So it's like, we're going to break out the Bioshock. That's a great idea. Thank you. And it's great idea. You too, Justin. And teach people how to play a game, like have somebody who actually knows the game and then have them teach other people. And then those people could have like groups and you could just have like a day where people play that thing. Maybe a clinic is the first hour. And then the rest of the day, it's just like, get a game together and play it. Because that's always the like for me, like opening up a new game, you spend the first 45 minutes saying like, oh, wait, hold on, I think we're supposed to. Okay, yeah, great. So just to have a dude there who's

played it already before and figure that out, who says like, okay, yeah, if you want to do that, you got to do this. And then, you know, you have like a popcorn machine or something and you let people go to town and make it a thing. Also, I don't want to be mean. But if you could make your store the best smelling game store in town, cool, cool. And I'm not just talking about like BO or whatever. Because the the one I used to go to in Cincinnati was very clean, but it also smelled like really strong cleaning products all the time. I had to work for it. Do you know what's going to fix that Griffin? Popcorn machine. Popcorn machine, maybe. I mean, yeah, well, because you could get the BO popcorn smell,

and then it's just going to sound like you're like a stinky regatta. And you don't want to stinky regatta smell. You just just fucking for breeze it neutralize the smell. I wanted it to smell like nothing. Travis was kidding about this. But you could honestly like in so many specialty stores that I've been to in my life, you could make a huge leap forward just like being personable and like welcoming people when they come into the store and like acting like you actually want them to spend money there. Like I'm not even joking. It's a pervasive issue. Make people feel welcome and don't eyeball them like you think they're going to steal every time somebody walks into the store. That for me is like every time I walk in, I'm like, I'm a pretty

average looking dude and I get eyeballed every time I walk in. And if you're worried about that, only sell huge board games. Nobody's ever shoplifted a copy of Lords of Waterdeep, because that thing is the size of a fucking like coffin. It's like shoplifting a coffin, you can't do it. Do you guys want a yahoo? Oh, can't I? Challenge accepted. By the way, Travis, just not to like cause drama or like derail. You look like if anyone's ever like a fucking brigand, it's you. Fair enough. Like not like a skeezy thief, but like a kind of cool Douglas Fairbanks thief. Yeah. Do you guys think I could pull off like a roguish scar across my eye? I think you yeah, I think you absolutely should get out there, Travis. I think you should

start living hard and I think you should get cut. Thank you. If you keep eating the way you're eating, you're going to get a roguish scar across where your heart is because of the stint. I have been eating so much better. It's 2015. I have been eating vegetables. I have been eating more vegetables and I've been eating even more vegetables. You don't need to make a production out of it. Well, this yahoo was sent in by Dan Green. Thank you, Dan. It's by Yahoo Answers user EricTheBean who asks, Help, which turned me into bean? Bean. Need anti-bean spell. Need to break curse. EricTheBean asks, If Obama proposed a law saying Obama shall be supreme

judge over all Americans and single-handedly determine, carry out and interpret the life and death determination of every American. And right before that, pass a constitutional amendment saying all other amendments in the entire U.S. Constitution are hereby repealed and no longer apply. And at gunpoint, all 50 states ratified it for fear of being shot. I'm going to shoot you, Nebraska. Would you vote in support of a ballot question giving Obama the right to determine who in USA shall live and who shall die? Knowing if you vote no on this and 99.9997% of Americans fearfully vote yes, you will probably be rounded up and killed. Wow. A lot to unpack. There's a lot to think about here. I mean, this person got our governmental

like structure checks and balances, separation of powers, fucking aces. I saw that episode of Schoolhouse Rock where the thing was like, I'm just a bill. Yes, I'm only a bill and the president can kill anyone. Good, good news, Billy. I survived the president's supreme judgment. Okay, so break it down for me, Griffin. The deal is separate this and like parse this out. Can if Obama proposed a law saying Obama shall be supreme judge over all Americans, okay, he could single-handedly determine, carry out and interpret the life or death determination of every American. I guess that just means like Steve Johnson fucking dead. I'm making a list and I'm checking it twice. If the states don't ratify it, President Obama will shoot the state.

Got it. And I'm still a little confused about the logistics of that. Would you vote for it? Because if you vote no and it passes, you'll be dead. So the first thing I want to hit here is, has this gentleman like seen President Obama lately? I don't think the dude wants to be president anymore. I don't like it anymore. He doesn't really look like he's having a like a grand old time doing it. He's probably just about done. But what I'm saying is he's been like, he's in his fucking like fourth quarter now and he's like lost his mind. I love it. I love seeing him pull out the big guns and be like, two free years of college. Eat my butt, two free years of college. How about that? Oh, a Keystone pipe on your own. Build that. How about the Keystone

pipeline into my butt, which is where you're going? I think that this dude's, I think if he keeps, you know, pulling off these grand gestures and yeah, I love it, maybe on like day, you know, his last day in office, he's like, let me just try one last thing. Supreme judgment. But then what if it's supreme judgment? He's like a party dude. And he's like, hey, because that's where he's been going now as far as I can tell. And he's just like, Hey, here's my judgment. Everybody party on free pizzas. Everybody gets a $5 hot and ready. What if he names himself supreme judge and says, I just grab myself the power to decide who lives and who dies. And then the next thing he says is, Hey, you're all cool. And then we all, and he's like, but remember this, you owe me. I

spared you today. And for the rest of your life, you have to go around knowing like, man, Obama could have blown me out of the sky. I could have gotten real fucking bad, but it didn't because Obama was pretty tight that day. What if he just says like, everybody lives and abolishes death? Oh my God. Whoa. It's the tucker everlasting amendment. All these other amendments are out new and I'm going to pass some new ones. These are my midnight amendments. Number one, be cool. Sorry, Obama. What was that? Be cool. MMM2. Come on. Breaking news coming from, I'm Wolf Blitzer breaking news. The internet has been shut down

because of a almost conical terminal violation of the first midnight amendment. It was not cool at all. It could not be cool for like a second as Obama later clarified. And it has been completely deactivated via the button to shut down the internet that Obama kept under his essence the whole time. User Kobe Suck said, Lakers suck my dick. That was a clear violation of the first amendment and he will be rounded up. The first midnight amendment. And he will be punished with the second midnight amendment. Come on. Come on. Now I'm going to, let's go to Twitter to get some reactions. Okay. No, that's right. The whole internet has been shut down. Wow. I can breathe for the first time in like 10 years.

Guys, the news slowed way down. I guess we can all celebrate that first amendment ourselves. Just fucking chill. You know, this whole Supreme Judge Obama thing is really working out. I don't think it's a bad idea sometimes. I think we've been in such a standstill, govern mentally speaking. I just fucking nothing's happening to make my life better. And I think that's my favorite thing about, my favorite thing about this question is the idea of like, you know, Obama hasn't been able to get anything done in his eight years of presidency. And so what he needs to do is one big thing. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And then just like, say, like, you know what, I'm tired of not getting things done. I'm going to get things done now.

But you know what sucks? You know what sucks is even if Obama was like, I'm the supreme judge, everyone can just be cool. Shit's going to get real tight for now on. Fucking like Ted Cruz would be like, no, I don't want to be cool. It's our amendment right to not be cool anymore. And Obama was like, I repealed the bill of rights. It's just be cool now. Come on. You don't have a leg to stand on Ted. Number two, come on, Ted. Number three. Nice. Nice. President Matthew McConaughey. So to review the three midnight amendments are one, be cool. Two, come on. Three. Nice. Okay, got it. As long as you don't violate those three midnight amendments, you're fine, right? Like you're fine. Yeah. But even if you don't, but if you do, oh, the sweet. Holy shit. Blood will fill

the streets. What if there's like a purge? We're one day a year. The three midnight amendments don't apply and nobody's fucking cool. Everyone's like, oh, time to let my hair down. Fuck you, Lakers. Feel so right. And the, the judgment squads walk the streets. Bring out your uncle. My grandfather was uncool the other day. He said something slightly racist. Death to your grandpa. I asked for grandpa. Nice. I was playing Super Smash Brothers and my little brother walked in and unplugged my Nintendo 64. Not cool, Dylan. Not cool at all. Judgment will be swift. My friend Richard chose odd job. Not cool. Richard, you know the rules. He's harder to shoot. No odd job, but you aren't Richard. You odd job picking son of a bitch.

Uncool. Uncool. As Obama floats in his judgment chair. This is the one day a year I get to use my judgment chair. Still work all the, what? That's not a half bad Obama. Thanks Griffin. I just talk like Dobber from coach. Brother separated at birth. It's a new year. It's 2015. The con is on. And that means that it's time for you to reinvent your life in a new form that is more pleasing to yourself and those around you. How are you going to do that? Well, you need a new career. What career? I got one. How about you learn the one of the most in-demand job skills going right now coding? Heraldry. Heraldry is number one. Number two is coding. Make 2015 the year you learn how to code. And if you do want to learn

how to Herald, I'm teaching a symposium this weekend. There's still a couple spots available. It's $250, but the price of the book is included in there. Wow. Travis, I had a full high energy lead. I was about to nail the dismount on that ad and you completely, that was a huge violation of the first amendment. I was just about to say one month. You trampled all over. You trampled all over. You did it again. First amendment rights. Both of you can burn in hell. Do the ad yourselves. Justin. Sorry, I can't hear you. Obama's judgment chair is hovering over you in Austin. It's about to hit you with a death ray. Sorry. Justin. Justin. Justin. Yes, dead griffin. Come on. Okay. Imagine for a minute you can build your own websites overnight.

Your resume could stand out when applying for job because you know Rails, you know Ruby, you know HTML, you know GitHub, you know Groupon. You just fucked up a lot of stuff. Ruby and Rails are the same thing. GitHub is not it. Groupon is a coding language. You got that part right. One month Rails is the easiest way to learn how to code. I did this with their HTML program and there are little 30 minute lessons. Some are even shorter than that. Most are. 30 minute lessons for 30 days and you could be an expert in coding. Honestly, the hardest thing you're going to have is knowing when to stop because the lessons are really fun to do. Once you start figuring it out, it's a lot of fun to piece together. I knew a little HTML going in,

but it really was an awesome way to learn. They've got a lot of great videos and tutorials. It works really well because you make the stuff along with them. You're watching, but you're also coding from the first lesson. It's really excellent. I might do this for the Ruby on Rails one because I've been having some trouble with my combined comparison operators. Will it teach me how to use Google? Probably roundabout way because you might end up Googling the URL. There's a one month iOS app. Build an app. Go build an app. That's how our base is making money. You know that's where all the money is? They're all in the app store.

I actually want to do that one. We've made $14 billion off of the BimBam, the app experience. Have we discontinued that app yet? No, please do not go buy it. Please don't buy it. Don't buy our shitty app. You should buy that app. We haven't done anything. We get a dollar. It's like a roundabout. Go fund me. I don't know what I'd do without that crisp $20 check coming in every month from Libsyn. One month, 30 days, 30 minutes in each of those days. You can learn a new skill. I'm giving the URL one month.com slash my brother.

Typically, it's going to cost you 99 bucks, but if you join right now, you're going to get a one time discount of 25% off. That's one month.com and that's one the word. You suck. Can I get one word out edge wise? I just want to make it clear that it wasn't the number one. It's O N E month.com O N E month.com slash my brother. And please, if you're in the LA area, do slash my brother. Slashes tires. And then slash me across the face. Give me a roguish scar. Give me a roguish scar. I'm hungry. I was going to make an O N E E D E R S joke in there because of the one month confusion,

because it reminded me of the O N E E D E R S joke from that thing you do the movie. Justine, I got good news for you, my hungry lad. Hit me with your best shot. Um, I know your life is hectic and I know that you make bad snacking decisions from time to time. I know that you ate, um, 14 meters of rope licorice the other day. And that was just not, that's not a solid decision. Eating up a lot of empty calories there. What if I told you you could get over a hundred nutritionists to prove snacks through fucking nature box? Have you heard? Is nature box like a new sponsor? Have we had them before?

We've had them like a billion times. Nature box has something for everyone, all with zero artificial flavors, colors, or sweeteners, zero grams of trans fat, and no high fructose corn syrup. Get out of here, current syrup. Current syrup? Give me out, current syrup. Let me hit you with this. You're having a, you got those three o'clock blues and a hard time getting through your working day. Um, I mean, all three of our jobs are either non-existent or, you know, imaginary goofy bullshit, but it's three o'clock and you're in a slump. How about you chew on some

sriracha roasted cashews or pistachio power clusters or big island pineapple? Justin, that sounds like something that you can get into with your fucking big island lifestyle. I'm tired of living off sponge cake. Something a little healthier. Um, you can try nature box for free with a free trial box that has five of their most popular snacks. You heard me, five free snacks. Five of them. Free snacks. Five of them. There's literally no reason not to do it. Don't miss out. Don't be a dummy. Don't be a hungry lad like my big island Justin boy. Go to naturebox.com slash my brother and you'll get a free trial box of tasty snacks. You're going to love these snacks. You're going to love these free snacks.

If you say it three times and people remember it, that's like radio ads 101 and candy man comes and says, eat some candy and you say, no, I'm going to eat nature box. Yeah. Nature box.com slash my brother's the address. Fuck candy. Fuck candy. Fuck candy. And now you memorize that. Eat these free snacks. I should say nature box in there too. Got a message for Bobby and Biza David from Nutter, Taker and Eric. You are apparently friends of 40s gangsters. I feel bad for Eric. Yeah. He's not a, he's Taker. I'm Eric, but I want to be Nutter. You can't Eric. You can't Eric. You're Eric. Hey, Biza. I bet you're wondering why Bobby is making you listen to my bim bam again. And so you can hear this message. Congratulations on getting married and stuff.

This is super late, but as long as the brother's macro, I don't mention when this message was submitted, nobody has to know whose fault it is. And now a jingle from Griffin. You can't just do that. You can't just work like that. I'm not some sort of fucking organ grinder monkey to dance for your dollars, but maybe you should reconsider. My friend Eric might have to have a word which is make a little chin music with him. Eric shouldn't take her. No, I said Eric. It's time to earn your nickname, Eric. Earn your nickname, Eric. Biza, I'm really sorry that Bobby made you listen to this episode. Yeah. What? Biza, did you just like try it once and decide it wasn't for you? That's fine. Like that. I get it. It's not for everyone, but I don't know why Nutter, Taker and Eric would go

out of their way to tell us that you didn't make our program. Hey, brothers. Biza hates you. Biza hates your guts, but we got our message from people she hates. It's, again, it's fine. We don't mind. We're just kidding. Happy marriage. I got a message from Molly from Claire. Here's the message. I'm going to read it. Happy birthday, belated Molly. No. Happy belated birthday, Molly. I couldn't get Laura Lai or Rory to do this, but I think it's pretty good next option. I love and appreciate you always. Thank you for everything. That's from Claire for Molly. I'm assuming. Are those Gilmore Girls characters? I think it's Hunger Games. I think it's the Gilmore Games. It's time for the Gilmore Games. I don't want to have to hunt my daughter with a bow. You

got to. I haven't seen the show. God, I wish I'd seen the show. I can make some really great goofs. We'll just say Gilmore Games and just slide that across the desk to SNL. Listen. Listen, SNL. You can have this one. We got it. Gilmore Games. Gilmore Games. This is bad. Okay. The Fragils Games. Let me hit you with this. Gilmore Gate. Think about it. Just go ahead. It's about ethics in bed and breakfast ownership. We literally know the journalism. I've seen one episode and like the mom. They live in Star Hollow. Is it like the OC? Because I would watch that. It's like the OC, but more wholesome and lovely. And I think she, okay. So I think Laura Lai has a friend who like can't remember her name. And I want to say it's like, like, like flappy. I don't think

that's true, but it's like a, I think like a birdish name. Welcome to Gilmore Guys, our podcast where we talk about what Gilmore Girls might be about. Gilmore Guys is a podcast. Another podcast Beef Forged. And I bet they actually watch it or have some vague idea what the show's concept is. I watched several seasons of Gilmore Girls and I couldn't tell you what it's about. There are like 130 episodes of Gilmore Guys. Double listen to that podcast it's got. Don't give them a free plug. I'll give them a free plug. It's a good podcast. The people on it are really funny. Fine. Here's your free plug. Oh, hey there, everybody. I'm Guy Branham and welcome to Pop Rocket, a new weekly show picking

over the pop culture we all love to love. With me to talk TV, film, music, and anything else entertaining are journalists Margaret Wabler, academic writer and DJ Oliver Wang, digital strategist, winner Mitchell and comedian Santina Mewhaugh. It's an intellectual and incredibly snark filled discussion about pop culture by five cranky Hollywood 30-somethings. No name calling, no rudeness, just straight talk and a lot of role play. I'm only 30 something for another year. Me too. And I don't tell anybody I'm 30 something. Pop Rocket comes out every week from MaximumFun.org. I have an awkward friend. Over the past month or so he's been going to the local grocery store every Saturday to buy groceries. He does this because he has a thing for this girl

who works there and she is a checkout clerk every Saturday. They don't know each other's names but he's been doing things like buying healthier foods to try to impress her. We said that once as a joke. He plans to buy a flower soon and while she is skating his groceries he wants to ask her what she thinks of it and if she likes it the plan is to leave it at her station and when she tells him he forgot it he will say no it's where I wanted it to go. How do I talk my friend out of this terrible plan confused in Coralville? Listen, bad news, our listeners have weaponized questions and they're trying to kill us. I just fainted for a second. You just deployed a viral toxin through your email to us and I breathed in the fumes and now I'm dead now. Again,

my second death of the episode. I think it's a romantic. No, fuck off. No, I don't. Not at all. This person's just at the fucking savers trying to make a buck and your friend is going to skis her out of her skin. Well, I have been over this. Let's hit this point again because apparently it didn't sink in. If the person you're talking to, man or woman, cannot leave, can't run away from your fucking whack game, then you cannot attempt to get a date with that person. It's not a lady zoo. Let me make a broader point. I agree with you, Justin. 100%. Here's my broader point. If you were about to fucking step in here and say this is not a half bad idea, I'll put the podcast. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, not at all.

The exact opposite. My point is this. The idea of doing a big romantic gesture already only works if they were already going to, and this is outside of this realm because you're right, lady zoo. I'm taking this to a different level. So imagine it's not an employee of a place. If you're going to do a big romantic gesture, it only works if they also would have said yes, if you would have just asked them. I don't believe that there's a person who would have said no if you just say like, hey, want to go on a date, but then you like leave a rose at their station and they're like, okay, now I'll say yes. But we think that like big romantic gesture tips the scales, but really what it does is it just sets you up to be like, if it goes bad, it goes way worse.

I just think that a romantic gesture for the initial like incitement of a romance is like a very uncomfortable play. Like because it's a very tenuous situation and like, I don't know. But that doesn't even factor in because this person has been getting vibes from the cashier. If she was craving his wave, his awkward, awkward wave, then he would like probably have picked up on that and just asked her out. But this doesn't sound like that at all. Yeah. It's just, man, this just sucks. I get your discomfort because it's hard to like talk to a friend out of that because I've certainly had friends who thought that this is just how the fucking world works. And it's hard to like shatter the illusion for them, but goddamn, somebody's got to.

Well, the other side of this is what you're not saying is basically what he's doing is he's afraid because this is the thing that his backup, if she doesn't like the rose, he's not going to leave it there if, you know, or he says like, oh, thanks, I forgot it. Great. And he's leaving himself out because he's afraid. And so it's the idea of like he wants it to appear to be a romantic thing, but really it's that he's not willing to just ask her. And so like that in and of itself, I say you say to your friend like, hey, if you're not ready to just ask her, then don't do this. Don't fucking sidestepping. Like it's gross. It sucks. It sucks. It sucks to use this person's place of employment as a romance tool. Just leave them alone. If you want to ask him out,

just say, hey, I know this is weird, but do you want to hang out sometime? But even that, like if you're not like fucking every time you check out, just be like chatting with them. Like, yeah, I'm getting some fucking bok choy and trying to get my life together. And she's like, oh, cool. I like bok choy. Do you want to talk about bok choy with me sometime? That's fine. But not like you left your bok choy here at the thing. No, that's for you. Eat it. I love you. Bye. That sucks. It sucks. Yeah. The con is on in 2015. Love's not a con. Unless you're using it to get a lot of money. If that was the last sentence of this and like also she has some diamonds. Or she's got a key card to the back door of the savers that you need

to pull off this $300 savers heist. It's just sucks. Savers doesn't sell groceries either. So we've been saying some dumb shit this whole time. Why didn't I just say Kroger? I know that's a place where they sell groceries. I led you into that. I said savers. Savers is basically an off brand goodwill. And I said it and you trusted me and I let you down again. Again. Do you want to Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Okay. Have we made this clear enough? Don't do it over the past fucking six years. Yeah. I think we made it pretty goddamn clear. Don't ask people out at their jobs. That sucks. I've seen though. I've seen people in movies and TV say like when do you get off? Is that and that always seemed cool? Is that not cool?

Okay. Real quick side note, Justin. I think that if that if the vibe is so clear and you're like flirting and it's just the natural next step progression, fuck it. Do it. But not if it's pre-planned. Yes. Not if you need a whiteboard to figure it out, then it's probably not a romantic opportunity you should be pursuing. If it's like, oh, the obvious next step is that you're like talking and it's like, oh, hey, there's a line. Do you want to just like grab coffee sometime and hang out? Totally cool. But not like this, like elaborate, like you get Danny in and you make a plan and you've built a model of the savers so you can act out and then Brad Pitt zip lines in to drop the rose that are like, no, fuck it. And you've got that acrobat guy stuffed into your

cart. He's ready to not for a reason just because it looks really funny with him curled around your orange juice. Pardon me, but you have a man curled around your orange juice. Yeah, I know. It's right where I meant to leave it. I've got a Yahoo here that was sent in by Jessica Rosen. Thank you, Jessica. It's by Yahoo Answers user Big Cheese who asks, why there is no beef nuggets, but chicken nuggets. So the whole sentence, why there is no beef nuggets, but chicken nuggets. Let me try and fix this. Let me take my red pen to this. Why there is no beef nuggets, but chicken nuggets is. That's good. That's a good edit. Chicken nuggets is, but beef nuggets isn't.

Why am this? Why that is. Why that is. Just move that is over, plop or jot. You got it. Just pick it up, drop it in the middle of the sentence, nailed it. Thank you, Goose Rider. Why there is no beef nuggets though, for real, because I read this question, I was like dumb, and I was like, wait a minute. There has to be a lab somewhere where the scientists at McDonald's are like, we tried everything. They've come at it from every angle. It's got a good point though. There ain't no beef nugs. There ain't no pork nugs. There's beef jerky, I guess, but that's like super dry beef. That's like a different type of thing. And you know, Jack Lynx is on that nugget game now, and they are nuggeting it so right.

But I want to see it have more mainstream soft beef appeal. The Ben Bams got that soft beef appeal, but can we get that soft beef appeal? You can have a chicken fried steak. So why don't you have chicken fried steak nugs? Give me those steak nugs. You know, Guy Fieri's fucked with some nugs though. You know, he's nugged basically everything at this point. If you know what I mean. I don't know what you mean. Oh, 420. 420 blaze it. Beef nugs. Is it because it takes longer to cook? Is that like, is it a scientific problem? I think beef nugs would be good. I think beef nugs would be pretty tight. I'm kind of hungry for beef nugs. I'm kind of in the beef nugs and it makes me sad because

it's very rare that I get hungry for food that doesn't exist. Usually most of my hunger pangs are tied to extant items. You try to keep it to the corporeal world. I try to keep it to the material realm. I crave material. The specific everlasting cobstopper from the movie. Oh, dog. Fuckin' forget about it. Remember how that thing looked? Weird colorful candies jutting out. Not like the fake ass jawbreakers that they tried to mark it and sell and you stamp it and you put it on a lunchbox and you put it out there. Like not that. You're talking about a tasty fruity asterisk, which is what they're selling there. Yeah, I would party on that. My mouth would have a lot of fun with that thing.

Why are there no motherfucking beef nuggets? Okay, now I'm moving on to the third phase where I'm just angry that there aren't any beef nugs. I think the fourth phase is negotiation and the last phase is beef nugs. And then I go out and I acquire the materials needed for nugs. There has to be a reason, right? Have we done any research to see if in 1960 McDonald's had like McBeef nuggets? What would you dip them in? A1, right? Easy answer. What? I mean, I can't answer. We've already got, we have everything. It's not like somebody's like cracking away at a chalkboard trying to like connect the molecules needed to

form this shit. We all know this shit. It's obvious, but everybody's too fucking afraid to do it. Not Obama. Last day in office. Last day in office. Supreme judgment. That's the fourth midnight amendment. Oh no, that was the third and then fourth is nice. Nice. We did it. You cracked it. I am moving into a new condo in the DC metro area. What do I do about the awkward introductions with neighbors? Do I knock on their door with baked goods or ask what day trash goes out? See if they make the first move or accidentally bump into them in the hallway someday? Or am I just supposed to go about living my life and only give a casual nod if I ever see one?

That's from moving in Maryland. There is definitely a window. Can we put an official number of days? Because my neighbors and I on the one side have like a very nice relationship. Like when we had the baby, they brought over like dinner one night, like very cordial, very pleasant. Do not know their first names. Do not know them. Oh my God. You're going to steal their mail. Literally, if you guys have any clues, why the fuck would I know it? I don't know. I like clues. If you like have the phone number of a private dick in the area. You're going to need to set up a hotline, Justin, so that people

would call it. This particular case. Can we develop a name that sounds like every name? And then you can call them that. Grancham. Hi. Grancham. John McGree. John McGree. John McGree, I feel like covers a lot of your bases. If it's John, Gregory, just if their name is John McGree, you're fucking, wow, you really split the uprights. I think the only solution is I have to gin up a reason to write them a check. Like I have to come up with a reason to write them a check. So I can ask them how to spell the name. So I mean, that's what they say. What if they say like it's Steve or it's Jim? That's always suck. That's the bad thing about that gambit is it's like, but you can always work

your way out of it because every it's 2015. There's more than one way to spell literally any name on the planet now. What I'm saying is you have my problem is that I have learned my neighbor's names several times, but our interactions are so rare that I don't, it doesn't get into the muscle memory. So you have to introduce yourself. I think right away, maybe just make some cookies and go around the neighborhood tossing cookies to people and then ask them their name and write it down. Put in your iPhone, something right on the brim of your hat so you can stare at it. Learn it early, but because once it gets past, I think like a month. Oh yeah, you're fucked in a month. It's over. We got a package. We got a neighbor on the left side named Terry. I love

Terry. His fucking grandkids are always throwing footballs into our yard. So I don't love that, Terry. Wish I could curtail that particular behavior. Be cool, Terry. Be fucking cool, Terry. Tell your grandkids to chill. But when we got something to happen to them, when Obama comes calling. When we got back from spending Christmas in Huntington, we had a package for a Terrence and it took us like a whole day to figure that one out. Really? When the house number was one different from yours and you have an extra neighbor named Terry. It took you a whole day to piece it together. How many Terrences do you know? It's not a common shorthand. I just, I picture Rachel Griffin like standing in front of a wall and there's like red

yarn strung between all these like newspaper clippings and pictures and it just says Terrence and it circled like eight times. And on one side it says Terry or next door neighbor and then it's like it's struck through like impossible. Name Terry is not named Terrence. Could not be him. Terrence Howard? Question one, question one, question one. I'm really disappointed in you. Okay. My guy on the other side is named Durant. That one's pretty easy to remember because you're not going to get a package for Dur. Hi, I'm, you got a package here for Dur? I don't know. Is this from Durant's? That can't be it. Durant's. I don't think I know a Durant's. What if it, what if the package is for David and you find out you've just been

mispronouncing it the entire time? This is from Mark. I don't know a Mark. Hi, Mark. Hey. Shut up Durant. What's your angle, Durant? Package thief. So this has been our show. My brother, my brother, me. We hope you had fun listening to it. Got some fun news, some exciting news. First off, live shows. First one to mention bit.ly forward slash mb, mb, am sketch fest. If you want to come see us and JJ go in San Francisco in like less than a month, it's going to be awesome and you won't want to miss it. So go buy those tickets. But Travis, I think we have some other ones to talk about. Well, the big announcement, Justin, is that we're ready to announce what our spring, our April live show tour will be. The

big announcement is that we're ready to announce. We've been using this announcement for so long. We released a microscopic trailer for this announcement, but now it's time for the full thing. Did you find it? If you go onto the mb, mb, am website and click the pupil in Griffin's right eye, then it will open up a code. And if you can decipher that code, where are we doing shows? The story with these live shows is we're announcing them. We're doing it in the Midwest where you'll have to find us. So mb, mb, am Minneapolis on April 3rd. You can go to bit.ly forward slash mb, mb, am, m-i-n-n. That's going to be at the Cedar Cultural Center. Doors open at seven, shows at eight, April 3rd. mb, mb, am Milwaukee on April 4th. And

that's at bit.ly mb, mb, am, m-i-l. So mb, mb, am, mil. Where's that one at? In Milwaukee? Means the good land. I know it means the good land, but what is the venue? Turner Hall, right? Sure, something like that. No, the yeah, Paps Riverside Turner Hall. And then mb, mb, am Chicago on April 5th. And that's at bit.ly forward slash mb, mb, am Chicago. Korea in a row, three cities, three stops. We're gonna be some fucking road dogs out there. Getting some nugs for the road. Sobons will be there. Sobons will be at all three shows. It'll be so tight. It's a family affair. Midwest, we're coming. You guys have been very boring with this live tour announcement. I want to get the data out there.

Okay, you got the data out there. Now it's time to fucking hype it up. Loosen up, Midwest. We're coming to fuck you. We'll be all up in your guts. We're gonna crush your guts, miliwake. Okay. I just like the way you say it. Where's the Chicago show? Oh, Lincoln Hall. Lincoln Hall. Is that right? Sure. That sounds right. It's gonna be in Chicago. That's for sure. Let me say this. I'm going to talk about ghosts and dicks for an hour at Lincoln Hall on that night, so it better be there. All of those tickets, everything goes on sale January 16th, so this Friday at 12 p.m. Central Time. So 1 p.m. Eastern Time. Yes. Get your shit so right. Set your clocks, set your calendars. I don't want to be a dick, but these shows sell out pretty fast a lot of the time.

But tickets are only $20, so make sure you get your tickets before they all sell out. January 16th, 12 p.m. Central Time. And along with when we post this episode on maximumfund.org, we'll put these links in there as well, so you can very easily find them. I will forget to do that, but just remember the links. Okay. Make sure that you listen to all the other great maximumfund shows. Bunker Buddies, Jumps to Mind. That's a show that Travis does with Andy Bolt about surviving different apocalypses. What thing? Is that the right? Apocalypse. Apocalypse. Also, maybe consider checking out Saw Bones. That's your show Justin does with Sydney. It's about medical history. That's a good one. And you should check out the

FOP house. It's a show Griffin does with Elliott Kalen and Stuart Weinstein and Dan McCoy. If they have me, man, I could do whatever. Griffin would just bring them drinks. This is an open invitation. I will do Crazy Beautiful with them. Man, I fucking hated that movie or No Reservations with Catherine Zeta-Jones. I think those are the two worst movies I've probably ever seen. There's also Big Gulp and The Adventure Zone. That's another one we do, but yeah, Jordan Jesse Go, Judge John Hodgman. Oh, no, Ross and Kerry. Oh, no, Ross and Kerry. Yeah. The Goose Down. The Goose Down. There's a lot of really, really good shows. Yeah. So go to maximumfund.org. Listen to all of them. And big thanks to the Long Winters

for the use of our theme song, It's a Departure, off the album Putting the Days to Bed. Well, I don't know what I can say that I haven't already said. Lovely album. Lovely album. A lot of lovely tunes on there. That's it. That's the end of the episode. Well, no, we also want to say thanks to naturebox.com. Don't forget you. Who? Naturebox.com. You can get a free sampler box of great tasting wholesome snacks. There's no reason not to do it. It's free, you fools. Go to naturebox.com slash my brother. There's no reason to wait. Don't wait. I got to find a Yahoo here. It was sent in by two people, actually, Zach Kimball and Zoe Steele Rand. Thank you guys. It's by Yahoo Answers User, Agape Granny Broad. Excellent.

Well, what's your problem? Agape Granny? Yeah, she's like surprised by something and her mouth is Agape. Sure. Okay. It doesn't have to be the other thing. Let's go with that. Let's go with your thing. I like your thing better. Uh, uh, Gaper Granny asks, According to the Bible, is vanity over one's potato salad a sin? I'm Justin McRoy. I'm Travis McRoy. I'm Griffin McRoy. It's been my brother, my brother, my brother. Kiss your dad. Scramble it. Hey, everyone, we're the Flop House, one of the newest additions to the Maximum Fun podcasting network. I'm Dan McCoy. I'm Stuart Wellington. And I'm Elliot Kalen. What is the Flop House? You may very well ask. We watch a bad movie and then we talk about it.

A bad movie podcast? Isn't that like every fifth podcast on the internet? I'd answer that by saying, one, we've been doing this show for over seven years, long before the entire premise of our show was a cliche. And two, shut up, sick bird. I'd say that our show is more of a comedy podcast, a podcast about words that sound like other words, a podcast about me singing long irritating songs like this one, a podcast about pitches for a Ziggy comic book movie, or discussions about sex tarps. Yeah, I mean, mostly it's a show about three friends just hanging out and talking about ding-dongs. That's mostly used too. Wait, what? So if you like any of those things, subscribe in iTunes today or visit

MaximumFun.org to follow the show. The Flop House!