My Brother, My Brother And Me - MBMBaM 237: John Turturro Robot Watersports

Episode Date: February 2, 2015

Special guests, musical performances and at-length discussions about Transformers physiology? It's a slam dunk episode this week, and it's all waiting for you at booboonanny.com. Suggested talking points: Dan Jo, Handshake Substitute, Booboonanny, Life in Bedrock, Supergators and Dick Eagles, Cat Barrier, Sexformers

The McElroy brothers are not experts, and their advice should never be followed. Travis insists he's a sexpert, but if there's a degree on his wall, I haven't seen it. Also, this show isn't for kids, which I mentioned only so the babies out there will know how cool they are for listening. What's up, you cool baby? Hello everybody, and welcome to my brother and me, a advice show for the margin area. I'm your baby's brother, Griffin McElroy. I'm your minimalist brother, Travis McElroy. Are you ready for some football? Hey guys, it's me, it's us. Football Bobcat Goldthwaite. No, mine, it's me, it's Bocephus. Hank Williams Jr.

Hank Williams Jr. It's me, Hank Williams Jr. Hank Williams, quote, Bocephus Jr. Bocephus Jr. Henry to my friends. Are you ready for some football? How many names do you have? I'm very worried about you, Mr. Williams. You sound like you are coming down with something, have you been in a hailing software? I am coming down with something, coming down with fever. Are you ready for some football? It's going to be a party. Mr. Williams, could you explain to Justin that he still has to record an hour-long show after this? He shouldn't fry his voice if you weren't doing anything. Listen, it's super old, sonny, let me sing my fucking song. Are you ready for some football?

Bocephus, to put this in terms that you can- Oh, just once, can I get through the fucking song? I just want to warn you that just in football terminology, this is just the beginning of the first inning and you don't want to blow out your treasure. No, that's a great point. Are you ready for some football? Why do you sound like Hannibal? You know, I can stop doing the fucking voice a lot quicker if you let me get through my goddamn song once, just once, once, once, once. Will you get him next time, Gadget? Are you ready for some football? It's going to be a party. Got to toss the grand iron around. Make sure everybody touches it. Because if all of your

players don't touch the ball, then you're never going to win the game. Yeah, everybody get it. What are we doing for this play, Peyton Manning? Well, I think we're just going to pass the ball around and just make sure everybody gets a hand on it or else the score won't count. That would be, I would say that would be an awesome trick play if they all just formed around the ball, right? Everybody had a hand on it and it was just like a wheel extending out from the ball. And as people tried to dive, they're just bouncing off the backs of all the players, like we can't even get to the ball. We can't do it. What's Peyton doing? This is genius. Listen, you guys are having a lot of fun, but I got an embarrassing confession. I do not,

even on a service level, understand the rules of football. Yeah. Well, the party passing. So the answer to, are you ready for some football is because I am not. It's categorical now. I'm not prepared for football whatsoever. You know, here's a fun fact. Can I tell you a fun fact? Please. For about a week while I was writing it, that song had a reference to hitting the net. Because my Banjo player was having some fun with me. His name was Dan Joe. Dan Joe. Dan Joe the Banjo player. Dan Joe player was his name. Was the net in reference attached to the. He was a good man though. When the kicker warms up, I guess he kicks into a net. Is that what it was in reference to? I had to let Dan Joe go in

the mid 2000s. He got the arthritis. Yeah, you can. Sorry. What was your question about the touchdown? I was just wondering how one passes the grid I interrupt. Well, you just, you know, laces out. Yeah. Okay. Bo Sevis. Great. Are you ready? Yeah, man, I wish you had been here last week when we decided that that was going to be our football episode. And that next week we'd have to come up with something clever and original. Well, my agent was supposed to get me on that one. And he dropped the ball so bad. My agent is Dan Joe player. I had to find a place for him in the organization after the arthritis. Did he drop the ball because of the arthritis? He can't type an email worth a goddamn. Man, arthritis has really sort of ravaged your life,

huh? Well, that is that ugly disease has really sort of turned your whole career around. Well, Dan Joe's career and by extension mind, he's such a key player. You know, it's that bank. Hank, Hank, be honest with me. Is Dan Joe player your Chris Gaines? Please, Henry, we're friends. Wait, you want a more formal name because we're friends? Please, my nickname is for business acquaintances. It's Henronikus, please. Henronikus, Bo Cephas, Williams, Jr., the junior, the third. Bo Cephas, thanks for stopping by the show. Sorry that your life is so miserable. Absolutely. Bye, man. This is the highlight of my week. I can't believe we're done already. I just don't think you deserve the plight that the hand you've been dealt. But, you know,

sometimes that's just how it goes. You gotta know when to hold them, know when to fold them, right? Right, Bo Cephas? Is that a football reference? I don't, I don't understand. Is there folding? Yes. Can you fold? If you're hit hard enough. If you're hit hard enough, you almost certainly will. Well, listen, guys, this has been real treat. Want to ask everybody to get out to iTunes and get my new CD, Hank, Hank on Hank, and Hank on Hank. It's a spoken word album, I believe. It's a spoken word album where I just recount, it's just stories from the road. Yeah. Set to music. Arthritic stories, essentially, is what we're dealing with. Listen, I got it all, but you guys have been so awesome. Country boy can survive. South's gonna rise again.

Okay. You're fading away. It sounds like a little bit. Listen, it's been a great run, everybody. Okay. Thank you so much. Thank you. Are you ready for some football? Feel better. And there he goes off into the sunset. He does know the Superbowl's on Sunday, right? Yeah. Travis, will you text Justin and just like make sure that he can stop by for like any part of the episode? I'm really afraid that Hank Williams killed Justin. I'm sorry, guys. Hank Williams had me locked up in his rock and roll trunk, is what he called it. What else was in there? In there? Yeah. Okay. This is gonna sound weird. Yeah. But there was a corpse of a man who looked like an arthritic banjo player,

which sounds weird to me. I don't know how I knew that. Well, maybe I'll tell you all about it when you're older. Okay. I'll be happy to do that. I'm just a macro. I'm the oldest brother. Hi. Did you say it's a show about the modern era and all that stuff? Yeah, I did that shit at the beginning. Are you ready to start recording? Yeah, let's do the count to sync up and we'll just sort of roll from there. Okay. Hey, everybody, it's Justin McRoy. It's my brother, my brother and me. Let's skip the introductions this week. Just get let's, I feel froggy. Let's jump right into the advice. Do you feel froggy because you just spoke like fucking Yoda for like six minutes? Oh, you mean Hank Williams Jr.? No, I'm a different person from him, but how's your

object permanent? It's not good. It's bad. Yeah. I closed the webcam window in Skype and then suddenly the two of you didn't exist anymore. I slipped and fell on the ice a few weeks ago and hurt my wrist ever since then. It hurts to shake hands with people. My banjo career is over. Also, I'm a corpse. I'm a corpse in a box, help. Do you have any recommendations for ways I can avoid shaking hands until it gets better without having to tell them the whole story? That's from shaken up in Philadelphia. Why are you afraid to tell people that story? That's not an embarrassing story. I mean, it's if people saw it, it's embarrassing, but that's not like you weren't, you didn't slip and fall in the ice because you were distracted because you were jerking it. I'm

assuming it wasn't like you hurt your wrist because you wiped your butt at a weird angle. That would actually be a very embarrassing story. What if you did that? What if you were wiping and just snap? No, not again. What do you even do? You can't use the other hand. Could you put on an air cast and wear a vat everywhere so people go to shake your hand just kind of ugh this thing and then point to it with your head like ugh this can't shake this. This is one of many, many social problems that could be fixed if we Americans would just sort of adopt the beautiful practice of of face kissing upon greeting or or just a light bow. Yeah, sure. It's 20 grifteen. It's time to start doing things

in the Japanese style. You know, that's my jam. So I think I think maybe maybe it's time to fold them when you meet somebody. No need. Oh, you gotta know when to hold them and you gotta know when to fold them. You gotta know when to hold the hands. There's a Japanese tradition that you learn if you're in the games industry that when someone hands you a business card or a card of any sort you should accept with two hands and it's a very it's a very big deal. And I know this. Spend 15 minutes reading it and admiring the lettering. And then last week I was I was purchasing some carryout order at a local Japanese establishment and the woman behind the counter took my card with both hands and I felt so angry that I was not able to put my my one area of cultural

literacy to practice. Like, can you imagine how fucking impressed she would have been if I'd handed it to her with two hands? She'd been like, wow. Wow. What did you do? You just sort of like fucking slid it across the table. I know I know I flipped it at her head. No, I just kind of yeah, how you do almost embarrassed that you don't have cash. Yeah, here this I'm sorry. I'm the worst. I'm the worst. Yeah, bow, I think or salute. Yeah, there's there's all kinds of options. Don't feel like your don't feel like your hands are tied because that would no. Okay, I got to say if you if someone reaches their extensor hands for a handshake and then you salute, they are going to have you in prison. What if you do all of this? Could you just say something like I've been sick?

I shouldn't like then you don't have to tell the whole story. You don't just shake their hands. Let me hit you with this. They hold out your hand, their hand, they hold they hold out their hand. And they hold out your hand. Nope, you salute and you bow and while you're down there, you kiss their hand. That's an option. Not like not listen America's a melting pot. Not in like the regal sense where you like take it and you kiss the ring or whatever you just sort of kiss the top of their extended palm. The problem here is the the conversation that follows. I would shake but I fell and hurt my hand and it really hurts to shake. So you broke it? No, I'm just just kind of outcheat it. I kind of outcheat it. I stovet it to use that colloquialism. I stovet it kind of an

ouchy and I can't. Oh, when they reach out to say like no, I shouldn't. I just farted on my hand. No, I don't think that's like 100 times worse. I think I think you'd just be up front and just say that you made a boo-boo nanny while you were walking on the street. I made a Wolfsy Daisy. It's February. Shit's slick out there. People be making boo-boo nannies all the time. 24-7 boo-boo nannies. I made a boom-boom on the street across from here. That's a different thing. Again, another bad thing. Boo-boo nannies. Is a boom-boom bad? Boom-boom means you pooped on the street. He pooped on the street. Why aren't you guys helping me get boo-boo nannies started? Because it sounds like a terrible TLC reality show. I'm trying to fucking pollinate our listeners'

brain fields with boo-boo nanny to try and get it going for when people make a Wolfsy Daisy. I was distracted because I was actually filing the trademark paperwork on a boo-boo nanny to make I was pitching it. I was pitching it to E. It's a good word. Do you guys want to get out here? I need to check boo-boo nanny.com super quick, though. Okay. How are you spelling it? Like phonetically? B-O-O-N-A-N-N-Y. Okay, imagine this. Honey boo-boo, right? She needs a babysitter. You get a super rich woman who's a little bit like she's been tossed out by her parents, so she needs the money because she's never had to get a job before. So she's the boo-boo nanny. Yeah, that young woman's television career is over. Do you guys want to get out here, though?

Yeah, absolutely. Can you do me one favor really quick and just take your game and then recognize this game from Rachel Sperling? Thank you, Rachel Sperling. Oh, I know that game. It's by Yahoo Answers user Steve who asks, If you had the chance to go to bedrock and live in a cartoon world but could not come back, would you do it? Update, and of course you would be an animated cartoon character as well, maybe a friend of the Flintstones, and maybe not. Well, hold on. What kind of world are you pitching where basically you have to go live in a cartoon caveman era, and also you don't know the Flintstones. So you're not really on this show. It just strikes me that there's so many bitter

like animated worlds to want to be a part of. That's why I proposed this question. I mean, let's respect the source material with bedrock. Would I leave my entire life, would I leave my wife behind and my house and my cat and my group of friends here in Austin to go live in fucking bedrock? No. To what end? I will say whenever I see the intro and he gets that like giant ass rack of dinosaur ribs to watch the drive-in movie, I always think like I would actually, I would, oh my god, I would fuck those ribs up, but I don't think that I would love those ribs the way that I love my wife. I think we all agree that those giant ribs are the only plus of living in bedrock. Other than that, you have animals running your sink, your vacuum

cleaner, your lamp. Oh, and also one thing that you forgot Travis is that there's fucking dinosaurs everywhere. Yeah. Including in your home. In your home. You've got to push your car around with your fucking feet. And even if they don't bite you, the smell probably isn't great. That's something that people don't like think about when we watch the New Jurassic World trailer. It's like, oh, Chris Pratt, I love that guy. Oh, and he's running with some velociraptors, but that's fun. Yeah, but think about it. Those things probably smell like shit. Yeah. T-Rex, T-Rex with those arms, he's not cleaning himself. He does not have a good clean, his, his, from the tail to his tummy, that whole region is going to stink horrifically. Have you guys thought about the fact that like

their cars are made out of fucking rocks? And so if you put like four like adults into that car, that car probably weighs like five tons and you're pushing it with your feet. That's the worst. Yeah, no. You might as well walk at that point. Yeah. Like, forget about the dinosaurs. Can you talk about the fact that you're giving up your entire life to a world where like, they can't even treat disease. Yeah, they can. It's like, yeah, but Dava, I have chicken pox, I'm going to die. Goodbye. That's it. And now we all have chicken pox later. PS, we all have chicken pox. What's never made explicitly clear is that on the show, Fred and Wilma. By the way, Christ hasn't come to earth yet, so I'm going to go to hell. Cool. We're in the scenes where

Fred's sacrificing something to their pagan god, Bale. You know what I mean? Yeah, right. And what they don't show is that on the show, Fred and Wilma and Barry, all of them are 12 because the life expectancy is like 15. Quick question before we... It says not applicable. Quick question. Is the world of bedrock... Does anybody know where I'm going with this already? No. Is it part of the extended universe of the dinosaurs television show? I cannot imagine that dinosaurs and humans were coexisting. In either, like, in the dinosaurs fiction where they'd become sentient and flat and flannel wearing, I cannot imagine humans were also in the mix. I'm going to throw something else into the mix. You ready for this? Yeah, sure.

This is canon because this is from the theme song. What if there was an episode, a deleted, lost episode where Fred climbed out of the valley that they lived in to discover it was like the year 1998? Because here's the thing, you guys. They're a modern, they're a modern Stone Age family. A modern Stone Age family. So they're living in this valley of lost time, right? Oh, shit. Now, that's how they have record players. Because they didn't have record players back then. The only way that would work is if that was modern day, they were just all living a fucking village lifestyle where they were all with dinosaurs and everything. Think about it. Are you saying that if you zoomed out of Plumstones, you would see the modern world

surrounding it. They've been in the bubble this whole time. Yeah, they're in the middle of Utah. People with modern technology hover within range of the bubble and they'd see it and try to replicate it out of stone. And then they'd get like, what you don't see in every scene of the Flintstones, like for the record player, they use it and then they get furious because it doesn't work because it might as well be made out of Play-Doh because it's rocks and they smash it on the ground, furious. Oh, I think those shows, it's like a Truman show thing, right? Where they've been given this and it's almost like when they make enclosures for gorillas and they're like, we're going to try to replicate what their real lives would have been like. But these people

don't know what ancient times would have been like. So they would have stone record players. That'd be crazy, right? No, they wouldn't work. They'd have like stone cars. Bam Bam goes to the corner store to buy some rolling papers and he hands the cashier some clams and the cashier's like, thanks. And then Bam Bam leaves and the cashier's like, wait, these are clams. Why is this our currency? Like why have we attached any value to clams? What the fuck? We eat these. But then he's dragged away. He's dragged away by the producers. And there's a there's a finite amount of water in the bubble, of course, for sure. Obviously. So they all know they have about five years. Oh, fuck, Utopia 2, Flintstones, Utopia 2.

What if they could do Utopia with the people in Utopia? Don't know they're in Utopia. Fuck. Fox, we could have saved that shit. So that's a definite no would not leave life behind for Bedrock. Sorry, Wilma. Sorry, Fred. Will say, though, if I get the opportunity to pop into Pokemon town, bye, bye life. See you, Earth. Where did Griffin go? I'm missing. He's my husband. Where did he go? He's been pokey raptured. Let's turn on WB at 9 a.m. on Saturday. Wait a minute. There he is. Kicking it with Charizard. Kicking it with Blastoise. The happiest he's ever been. What a cruel joke. That you can't. I can't. I love you. I love the two of you very dearly, my brothers. And I love this podcast we do together. I think we're helping a lot of people

and changing a lot of lives. And it's brought a tremendous amount of joy in my life. I would leave it forever. In a second. I would do it. I would jump into Pokemon world. If by jumping into Pokemon world, my human, like, fleshy body could only survive for a month. I would trade the rest of my life and all that entails here on Earth for one sweet month in Pallet Town. You buy, you fucks. You go skydive in. Rock about climbing. 2.7 seconds on a hitmonchan. Oh man, I would do it. Because I could knock out that. I could become the very best, like no one ever was in a month, I think. And then I would fade away. You're not going to fade away. You're going to burn bright. Climb the stage. I'll never forget when the mysterious

fleshy stranger ruled into town. It was only weather for a month, but... It's the three-dimensional. His team was so well balanced, though. He was so squidgy and pinchable. Eyebrows and fingernails. And then he died, which was a whole new concept for us. And we were like, how do we bury this? What do we do with this now? We're going to have to form some sort of religion now just to deal with death. No one's ever died before. Is he going to turn into a ghostly? Uh, all right.

Uh, Gryffins fall asleep. Revive, revive, revive. Somebody take this kid to the Pokemon Center. I don't know what the fuck's going on. I don't know. We don't have human doctors. What if in Pokemon World? Oh boy, this is the episode now. Medical care for Pokemon is free, but humans pay out the most. Oh my god, it's crazy. Obamacare only extends to Pokemon. Okay. No, I think we, I think we, I think we got a good four and a half hours out of that. So let's uh...

Brothers, how do I shake an acquaintance who wants to escalate things to the friendship level? It's a girl in my gym who often asked me to hang out. I'm a friendly gal, but I find her a little odd and I'm just not interested in being friends, IRL. I've always made excuses and declined her invitations, but she keeps asking. I run into her a few times a week and I'm running out of pretend stuff to do. Is there any way to give her a more permanent brush off with minimal awkwardness? I can't. I've got a thing in Portland. Oh man, that's tricky, isn't it? This is tough. I think here is, here is, uh, okay. I will say that this situation that this person is in

has not happened to me for like five years. Yeah. So somewhere locked inside the codex that is my existence is the answer to this question. And we just have to, we just have to clue so. Hold on, wait, let me see if I can, let me see if I can crack the code. Is it because you just like stay in your house and play Destiny all day and you never have, yeah. I mean, that's one of the things that helps. I think that this is one of those frustrating things about like everybody wants to think that like they'll get the hint and by saying like, oh, you know, I can't, oh, I got to do this thing. And you do that like 10 times is like, surely, surely they know that like,

if I wanted to, I would have made this thing, except that like people who ask you 10 times and you keep making excuses, aren't those people, aren't the people who get the hint. And so I, one of two ways you either need to say like, listen, my schedule is just really busy and I don't think that like I'm going to have any free time in it. Like I'm working on this new project or whatever and I'm just going to be booked up for like ever or stop going to the gym. Can I bounce this idea off, off you guys and just see how it sticks? Like I, I, the older I get, the more I come to realize that one of the most important characteristics of a good friend, not, not the most important characteristic, right? You have to like get along

on, you know, that, that special level and, you know, be genuinely interested in and care about each other. That's, that's the most important thing. But, but the older I get, like the more important it becomes a trait for like a friend of mine to have is to just not be a complete fucking flake. Is it like, is to actually like want to do stuff, want to spend time with me, want to like, and, and when we make plans, like stick with them, like a fair sort of trade off between who comes up with the plans, but like both of you getting excited about it and doing it. Like all of the friends that I have now are like that. They're, they're, they're really, really good about that actually. But I've definitely like shed some friends that didn't do that,

because it's, I don't know, it's like the, it's the worst. So I mean, this person wanting to spend time with you, I don't know. I think that seems like actually a pretty dope trait. And, and if you, if you're uncomfortable about it, about it, maybe you just need to get to know them better. This could be your, this could be your, we could have like a Kirsten Cohen, Julie Cooper situation on our hands where you don't know that you're supposed to be best friends forever, but then four seasons later, there you are. I'm, but if I can counterpoint that Griffin, like I would say that what's funny about this is if you put it in a different context and put it in like a dating context and you went on like four or five dates with someone and like you just weren't interested

in taking to the next level or somebody was asking you out that you knew, it's way easier to say like, oh no, I don't want to go out with this person because I'm not interested in them. But this has, this has, this situation has none of the baggage associated with what you just described. It's, it's literally a person that you have had, you know, moderate exposure to saying, hey, you seem like a cool person. I'm going to come up with plans for stuff. If you want to, like, I don't know, I would, I would go if you didn't drink with this person to hang out. But if you're not friend-tracked to them, like why do it? Why like give them that false sense of like, oh yeah, now we're buddies. Friend-tracked is not a fucking thing. Like I, I, I have friends, like dear,

dear friends that I didn't like, I, like the, the first few times that we hung out, like I just didn't like get to know them. And I have, I have really good friends that I sort of thought I was sort of, uh, like, characteristically opposed to because they're so different from the people I typically hang out with. And then, uh, you know, I hung out with them a few times and not only did like, we become very dear friends, but I changed like my perception of what people I dig on, like the people that I like to associate with completely changed because this person changed it. Like I, I think the more you can sort of expose yourself to people like that, the better your, your life is going to be. Well, okay. So I'll say this. I think that going out for like a drink

with this person benefits you in two ways. One, maybe Griffin's right. Maybe you do end up like, oh, you know what, we'd only ever talked in like a gym setting in this weird, like public setting. Yeah. And it turns out that like, I actually do like this, or it puts you in the position that since you at least gave it a shot, it's way easier, especially on your conscience and conscience to then say like, okay, um, I, I, you know, I'm really busy. I can't. And you don't have to come up with elaborate things because you already gave it a shot and it wasn't great and you didn't like it. Then why don't you just try it? Just try it. You're not, you're not, unless she's a serial killer, you're probably going to be fine. Obviously, like if it's like a danger situation and

you know what you're doing, but like, I don't know. I, I, I, I can't imagine myself ever being in a position where like, I don't want to make any more friends. And, and I don't know, I don't want to come off like on my high horse saying, you should be friends with everyone. But I definitely think it's like, I think everybody's, you know, worth a shot. You should have a kid. Once you have a kid, you will be shocked at how quickly that mode switches to just like the plane is going down and you're throwing friends off like a weighty cargo, just trying to keep some semblance of a social life afloat. You, you will be surprised how quickly that changes. Well, okay. Well, there you go. Give it a shot. Give it a shot. What could

it hurt? Uh, y'all want to know Yahoo? Uh, sure. Sure. I'll make it a quick one. So we make it a quick one so we can get to that money zone. My favorite part of the show, the money, tasty, tasty money zone. This one was sent in by a game recognize that goddamn game again, Rachel Sperling. Thank you. It's by Yahoo Answers user snuggly duckling who asks, if you could recolor an animal, what would you recolor and to what color? Okay, hold on. Okay, give me one more time. One. If you could recolor an animal and what would you recolor and to what color? Let me hit you guys just because I know you're percolating. I've had some time to percolate already. I would probably. By the way, a quick bit of my brother, my brother made trivia. Okay. When one

of us says, can you read it again just so I can try to, that means we weren't listening. Correct. I was checking my Facebook messages. Oh, terrific. At least it was something like important. Yeah, not something like completely menial. That shit wouldn't wait. Meaningless. I would do alligators, I think, because I've never seen an alligator and been like, perfect. You know what I mean? Every time I see an alligator, it's like your shit looks like kind of modeled and I'm not like super crazy about it. And that goes for like the stark white ones with like the red eyes. Fuck those guys. What would you change it to? What about like bright, like cherry red, like a hot flaming red? Just like that, they're extinct.

Why? Lost their natural camouflage they use in the swamps to hunt. They're bright and obvious. You just killed all the alligators. What's killing alligators? What? Hey, can I ask a question? Other than hippos, which as we all know, can swallow alligators whole. What's killing alligators? The fucking starving. Everything's like, oh, hey, there's a fucking bright red alligator over there. I'm just going to move over here. It's just going to have to work. Oh, it's just going to have to work a little bit harder on it. And honestly, guys, if we're being honest, I think that reducing the population of alligators, I think it's time that somebody took thin down a peg. Just to be clear, you want to thin the alligator herd to a smaller,

more refined crop of bright red superhunters. That's what you want, the corvette of murderers. You're out on the golf course and the keys, right? And you see an alligator and your day's fucking ruined, right? This my solution is to reduce the alligator population by about 90% so you're going to have way less of those encounters. But when you do encounter an alligator, you're dead. Oh, that's one of Griffin's bright red super killer alligators. They're perfect hunters and they will eat fucking anything. Okay. And for those people, I'm sorry. Yeah, I fucked you. I fucked you real good. I fucked you right in that gator's mouth. That's what I did. But he'll prove things. But for the millions of lives that I helped by reducing the number

of alligator sightings on the golf courses in the keys, those people paid a lot of money for tea time. They are going to have themselves a really great day drinking their shandy out on the holes. And then maybe one of them gets eaten by a super gator. But for those other people, a clean, very calm golfing session. And that's my gifts to the world. You're welcome. You know what mine would be? What's that? I would make all spiders really bright glow in the dark. Okay. So sort of the same principle a little bit? Yeah, because I fucking hate spiders. And I'd really like to know if they were on me in the dark. See, for me, ignorance is bliss vis-a-vis spiders. I know they're everywhere. I live in Texas. They're fucking scorpions here.

And them and the spiders are just fighting constantly. A secret war in my yard. I just, I would kind of not, I feel like if that happened, Travis, your room would be iridescent because there's spiders like secretly everywhere. Well, don't tell me that, because I need to sleep again or I'll die. If you don't sleep, you will die. Yeah, sure. I'm just saying that it would also make it hard to sleep if, you know, glowing spiders everywhere would. But they wouldn't be everywhere because I would spend three days, three sleepless days murdering them. Yeah, all of them in the world are just sort of in your house. Because if that's what it took. Okay. Justin, you got any ideas? I'm not gonna sit here and play God. Oh, okay. You think God,

you think God got it in one? Absolutely. I mean, like, over time these, we've evolved a very fragile ecosystem. I think man's done enough damage there without me fucking making pandas green, you know, like I think that it's just fine. No, I think we can all agree. I'm with Justin to a certain extent. I think God got it right for a lot of animals. Pandas wouldn't change a thing actually there. I think that that's optimal cuddliness. A capybara? Perfect. I'm super into like the flavor that they're bringing. I'm just saying like, if let's have fun with it, Justin, we're in the magic sphere now. Okay, what about, what if you change the ball of eagle? Because it's already America's symbol. Oh, I see. It's a little boring. What if you change it to

like jet black with like red neon eyes and maybe like some tracers, like along, it's the bottom, like some neon tracers. And a couple of LEDs on it's like. Well, what about on there? On it's under. A few woofers and tweeters. And on its belly, a bright yellow patch of feathers that looks like a dick. And when he flies over, it's like, ah, I got you. And everybody salutes that dick. That's America's dick. Man, Justin, I thought for sure you were going to say red, white, and blue. Nah. That's like America's like, whole colored scheme. Yeah, that's like, but now instead of me, it sounds like you made it German colors. Red, yellow, but if it's red, white, and blue, you get it in front of a flag and it's like, where did it go? Yeah. Well, that's natural camouflage.

Yeah. It's camouflage. That's how it hunts. Yeah. And it eats NASCAR patrons. It's the sacrifice we got to make to freedom. Listen, listen, Phil, I've told you once, I told you a thousand times about doing any more NASCAR races in Florida, places in pheasant by, by, uh, super super gators and dick eagles. Super gators and dick eagles everywhere. When was the last time you slept, Frank? I can't, the spiders. Yeah. There's glowing spiders everywhere. Okay. Well, you're going to take a short sabbatical, Frank. Super gators, the dick eagles, they're everywhere. They would of course be natural enemies, right? Super gator versus dick eagle this Friday on the sci-fi channel.

This is actually a, it's a funny coincidence. Justin Travis and I all went to high school, the mascot of which was the super gator and our rivals in Cabell Midland, a bunch of dick eagles over there. That's what they were. That's a dick eagles. That mascot was, of course. Not a lot of people liked going to those games. Let's go to the next one. I got a text this morning from my dear friend, Tommy Red. We met, uh, the day before first grade started outside of his dad's house. And I got a text from Tommy this morning, my dear oldest friend in the world, Tommy Red. Well, not my oldest because he's here anyway. Got a text from Tommy Red today that said, got back from Texas today to find my meundies arrived. These things are no joke.

They have lived up to the hype and make my junk look amazing. And he's a big man. He's a big man. He's 12 and a half feet tall. And girthwise. He's got a giant penis. He's huge. And, but Tommy, Tommy Red says that, uh, meundies are no joke. And I'm here to tell you that they are super, super great. The best underwear you will ever wear are meundies. They are, uh, this, that's all they do. That's what they're dedicated to. They want comfortable underwear that fit great. Don't ride up on you and literally pull moisture away from your skin. So you're cool all day long. This morning I woke up, all my meundies were dirty. I put on some, uh, uh, let's just call them off brand underwear. The first thing I did as soon as I, uh, uh, hoisted the waistband up around my navel,

I vomited onto the ground because I hated the sensation. So it was so displeasurable. Yeah, sure. Miserable, miserable. You know, I'm, I'm going to say this. I think they would make excellent Valentine's Day presents. Oh, for sure. Oh my God. Yeah. It's, it's, uh, I guess it's tantamount to sort of like, uh, getting, getting somebody lingerie that you yourself are going to wear. You get some meundies. This is, this is functional, practical lingerie, all day lingerie for whatever genitals you're bringing to the table. It's the lingerie that says, this is actually for you. This isn't like for me to enjoy on you. This is for you. You're welcome.

Well, it's for both of you because you're going to look for you and your genitals. You're going to feel better. You're going to smell better. I don't want to get, I don't want to get, you know, blue, but there, there's an odor problem. If you were to buy underwear of this quality, normally they would cost you twice as much as they cost you at meundies, but they're not going to do that. They've got no middleman, so that's more savings for you. But get this, they're going to get even cheaper. Okay. Go to meundies.com slash my brother and you're going to get 20% off your first order and free shipping. And you can save me for more when you buy a pack of them. So there,

I recently went through my underwear drawer and there was a great reckoning, mostly socks related because my sock game guys, not on point. I had socks that I've had since college and they're not there. That's a true mark of maturity when you look at a grimy, whole plagued sock. I don't have to wear this. These were socks in name only. They were more like sort of like craft materials at this point. And there was, there was a reckoning. There was a purge and now I have freed up more space to fill with beautiful, functional, practical, dare I say sexy, meundies. Say it. Say sexy, sexy, sexy. 20% off. Go to meundies.com slash my brother. Listen folks, Valentine's Day is next week and that means one thing. Or if you're listening to

this in March, Valentine's Day was three weeks ago and you missed it. Yeah. Or if you're listening to this in 2028 Valentine's Day was a fixed point in time. Okay. At some point coming up soon now as you record this. And that means one thing. It's time to bulk up the fiction of your secret Canadian girlfriend or boyfriend. Okay. You've been telling him about this, this man or woman for quite some time. All your coworkers don't believe they exist. Well, now's the time to really, to really support it with some evidence. Have you listened to cereal? That's what this is about, right? So listen, you're going to, how are you going to do that? Well, you're going to get a hundred blooms of love with a free glass vase for just 1999. You can

help bulk up the fiction of your secret Canadian boyfriend or girlfriend. Mike Meyer's got me those. We're dating. Oh, yeah. Did you, did you even see Love Guru? Because that man in that movie got me these flowers. Dude, do you guru at all? That movie was great. You can add gourmet chocolates and a stuffed bear for just 9.99. Do you realize what a deal, I mean all seriousness, that's a deal. Listen, the flowers definitely, the stuffed bear, great. When you get home to that cold lonely apartment and the fiction dissolves around you like so much cotton candy. A fiction that even you bought into, it was so convincing. A fiction that you yourself bought into. Yeah, Mike Myers would love me. You're going to need those chocolates. You're going to say

9.99 well spent. And then you'll realize that Mike Myers doesn't love you or anyone. As you watch Shrek 3 jerk off into a hat. You're Mike Myers hat that folds up the brim and it's like a fold up pop out of Wayne's world. How's our advertisement? These are some weird bullet points. Finally, we're going to read what's written here. This is just a word for word. Sure. Let me see. Let me see. Imagine making a boyfriend. Yeah, jerk off into a hat. Yeah, guys, we're good. Do you want to move on? Yeah, we're so good. Here's how you get it though. Listen,

you're going to go to proflowers.com and you're going to use the code mybrother. There's a blue microphone when you go to proflowers.com. There's a blue microphone in the top right corner. You're going to click on that and type in my brother. We guarantee you're going to feel like an all star as you look at these flowers and jerk off into your Shrek hat. They arrive fresh and they are guaranteed the last seven days or more and they do. They're amazing. They do. I'll joke aside. We actually have some in our house now from proflowers and it's like, I don't know, it's the most beautiful flowers I've ever had in a home that I owned. It's just, I mean, even if you don't want to do it as a romantic gesture,

they are just sort of nice to have around. I didn't think I was a plants guy, but I am genuinely enjoying this flora. Go to proflowers.com, click on the blue microphone and type in my brother. Have you guys heard about commingle.io? Let's assume that I have not and you tell me about it because that's what they paid for. Let me tell you about it, Travis. Holy shit on a race. I want to tell you about their flagship product, the mod. Okay. The mod is, is it like a video game? I feel so lucky. I feel like I need to refund these people's money and pay them more money. They have given us the gift of these wonderful words you're about to hear. I'm just going to read this for bucking vadum. Okay. Did you say for bucking, babe?

Ver, verb, verb, verb. Yeah, we got it. Oh man. Okay, verb, beta. Okay. Let's someone reset, Justin. The mod is a, let me get bocevas in here. He can handle it. Nope. I don't want to hear. The mod is a multi-vibrating open source dildo platform. Yes. It's powerful, pure body, safe, silicone, gender neutral, and you can control it with any kind of sensor you want. For instance, squeezing, thrusting motions, music, cameras, paddles, Geiger counters, head massagers, breathing, and your pulse. I would suggest an EMF ghost detector. Right? A great idea for that. I'm actually going to stick with the inputs. I'm going to stick with the Geiger counter just because I just want to make sure everything's real safe up there.

Can you set it like an alarm to wake you up in the morning? That you can let your toy react to a sexy situation with you or your partner. What about that talk boy that you bought when Home Alone 2 came out and now it controls a dildo? Can you set it that like it reacts to everybody loves Raymond in some way? Yes. Bop it, twist it, ram jam it right up in it. Now twist it. Is the pizza here yet? Oh, there's the doorbell. It's here. Whoa, hold on. I got my dominoes. I got my dominoes. I didn't hear anything. No, it's probably here.

Got my dominoes pizza tracker synced up with my dildo. Just waiting for it to go to quality check. Thank you, Derek. Thank you, Mike Myers. When that garage door opens, so do I. Yeah. Oh, man. What a wonderful product, the mod. What a fucking the best product ever. At commingle.io. So go visit commingle.io and you can contribute to their Indiegogo campaign and purchase your own mod dildo while supplies last.

Now it says mod dildo, but that's a multivariate open source dildo dildo. And I don't think that's what, so the mod is the name of the dildo. The mod. Yeah. Whenever anybody says the word mod from now on, I'll just think it's a open source dildo platform. I got a message for Corey and it's from Andrew. Is it Corey or because it's, they phonetically spelled it Corey. Corey. Okay. I got a message for Corey from Andrew.

That's an exclamation point at the end. Hi and hello. It's me, Andrew. It's been a delightful year getting to know you and young Cooper over whiskey tea, sleepy music and cat puzzles. Here's to another like real humans smooches. I love you a whole bunch. Happy anniversary from this lightning horse and the three brothers to the sweetest cloud banger. He could ask for a pear syrup guys, guys stop with the coded messages.

Just whatever happened to, to predictability. I know. The milk man, the paper boy. Yeah. Yeah. I loved step by step. Our cat puzzles when cats are wrapped around each other and you have to figure out a way to get them untangled. Yeah. I love doing those. A cracker barrel when you wait for your table to open up. And if you're left with three cats, you're an egg new Ramus.

I think it's when a cat traps you. I think egg new rain meows. I think it's when the cat traps you in a deadly game and you have to like prove how, how much you want to be alive by grievously injuring yourself. Yeah. Like Dr. Claw used to do to Inspector Gadget. It has a fucked up show. It was a fucked up show. He was a giant cat, right?

Happy anniversary. Yeah. So happy anniversary code. I always thought that Dr. Claw was like just a bunch of cats in a person's suit. We can talk about it off, Mike. My girlfriend's cat is getting old. That's really the next question. So here it is.

My girlfriend's cat is getting old. And recently she's decided to make my girlfriend's bed her home. This has greatly impacted our love making. Oh, great. The cat does not enjoy being moved from her bed and she scratches at the door if we do. This is distracting during the act and damaging the door. Should we accept that we will have an audience going forward? Or is there another solution that's from Joey?

Joey. Joey. Nice. Shut up, cat. Nice. Joey, you're doing great. Joey, I'm just sitting over here really appreciating what you're doing. Cat, please stop.

Cat, would you please just be cool? Hey, socks. Would you mind keeping it down for like a minute? No, I'm just saying that you're doing great. You're doing great. I don't know how humans do it, but you seem to be crushing it. Good moves, Joey. She seems to be enjoying it as well.

This is like an amazing rarity for our show. I actually have a fucking, I don't want to hear like your sex stories. No, no, not a sex thing. Adjust another Justin's sex capade. I have so many to tell about, but this is not one of those. We had a problem where the cats would always want to get into our room while we were asleep, but I don't like to them rolling around in there because I'm a very light sleeper. So here is the actual solution that we have been using for years,

and it actually works like a charm. I bought a baby gate and I leaned it up against the door. When we go to sleep, I put the baby gate in front of the door of our bedroom, and they can't claw the door. It's amazing, and it's a brilliant solution to your problem. If. Congratulations, it's been fixed. Assuming your cat weighs 65 pounds and can't negotiate a baby gate.

No, it doesn't work out. Amelia doesn't do it either. We're in the clear. You put the baby gate up, the cat's not going to scratch the door. You can sleep. You can don't sleep. I mean, make love, and then when you get older, sleep. No matter what you do in your bedroom.

Make love, make love, make love. You have to do it as much as you can right now because pretty soon. Yeah, that Cecil won't do that. Cecil learned how to scream. Motherfucker, don't meow anymore. He just yells. Hey, that's him outside the door. Hey.

I want to watch you love making. Hey, wait, wait, wait, wait. Hey, I hate, I hate, I love him, but boy, howdy. But boo boo nanny. He makes a boo boo nanny like all the time scratching at the door. And I'm trying to make nanny boo boo in the bedroom. Don't get those twisted. Oh my God, no.

I mean, sometimes you can make a boo boo nanny while you're making nanny boo boo. But do not make nanny boo boo while you're making a boo boo nanny. No, holy shit. How would you even do that? I don't even know. So are you, are you slipping and falling and having an accident on this? Well, we're sexy. Do you guys want a yahoo?

Sure, yeah. This yahoo was sent in by level 5000. Yahdru Shaman, Drew Davenport, thank you, Drew. It's by yahoo answers user Charissa Lozano. Who asks? Is it weird that I'm attracted to Transformers? Yes. Okay, I recently watched Transformers 4 and I started to notice that I find Prime,

the enemy, I don't know what he's called, and especially Bumblebee attractive, even though they are like machines and not ever real, but I just find them sexy. I feel like it's weird, but I can't help it, Bumblebee is hot to me. Bumblebee is hot to me. Listen, I like to be cool with a lot of stuff. And this is no exception. Thank you, Travis. You're right.

It's correct, Travis. You know, there's, here's my question. It's not objective sexuality if they can move around and talk and shit. Is that what you're going to ask? Okay, that's what, well, okay. It's not. Are you attracted to them when they're in car form? Because that's object sexuality.

If you're attracted to them in robot form, that's a whole other thing. I don't know that that's accurate, Justin. No, because they're sentient. Who is the car boy who when he eats spicy food, he turns into a car? Hot rod. Hot rod. Hot rod. If you, if you fuck hot rods, hot rod while he's a hot rod,

is that objective sexuality or are you having sex with the, I think it's a man in the car. It was not hot rod. It was turbo teen, Travis. Turbo teen. I don't know. You're the one who knows about the show. I just answered first.

Then why didn't you, why did you answer wrongly for him? Because I like to buzz in, Griffin. I know you do. That's why you have negative 86,000 jeopardy dollars. But I'll get that. I've been keeping a running total for as long as we've been doing the show. Turbo teen, you fuck him in the car form. I think you just have man sex.

This whole question would be way less weird to me if, okay, imagine we lived in a world in which there really were transformers and people were attracted to them and they were like a real life thing that you could like walk out on the street and see. Okay, but like they're CGI in a movie. That's weird. That's weird to me. Bumblebee's the one that doesn't talk, right? Yeah, Bumblebee has the radio.

Bumblebee just has the radio, right? He doesn't talk. So like the one that you want to fuck the most is the one that is still a special magic robot that can transform into a big robot or into a core, but doesn't have the fucking personality of like a sentient thing. It's just, you're fucking Spotify at that point. You're fucking Robo Spotify. Fellow Maxfun podcast, The Flop House, just did a Transformers Age of Extinction,

which is an excellent episode. And in it, they make an excellent point, which is that there are robots, there are transformers that like have weird chain beards. And I'm like, and it's like, wait, hold on, you can choose whatever form you turn into. Like this is- I don't think that's 100% true though. You don't think so? Like that they can't like, because they choose what vehicle they're going to turn into.

Right. I don't know that they're- I think it's just whatever vehicle is closest when they reach Earth and interact with the Allspark, right? Oh God. Immediately after arriving in a new world, in its transition form, a transformer begins transcanning to choose and generate a new exostructure slash disguise, appropriate to both its size slash body mass and its new locale.

That's fucked up though. So a transition form of a transformer is really basically, it's almost like a comet. It's like a protiform stage transformer that is engineered for travel. So once it lands on Earth, it finds a new exostructure slash disguise, appropriate to both its size slash body mass and its new locale. I don't know why if you could choose to be, like when you land on Earth, if you could choose to be like a Pontiac or maybe an Eagle. Or a fucking 1970 AMC Gremlin.

Like fuck, now I know Gremlin. I'm a fucking Hugo. Awesome. I don't think you get hung up on like, I think you have bigger fish to fry than gender roles. Like I don't think you need to worry about it. I'm sorry, Justin. I hate to throw a wrench into the works, if you will. But Bumblebee does change his car shape in the first movie

because he's an old beat-up car and it's like, oh, there's a nicer car. The movies are not canonical though. And he scans it. There is a lot of evidence to suggest that they're quickly able to adopt new forms. So how permanent a trans-scan's alternate form becomes, as well as how easily a transformer can scan and adopt a new one. Like why is Barry still a fucking debate? Why is Barry still a fucking dodge dart?

Now, okay, now I do have to say, if you want to get into the novels, like if you get a prequel novel yesterday, Bumblebee transforms like really fast. But is anybody, is any human's fucking Bumblebee is the question? We have gotten so wildly spun out into the whole universe. On the flop house, they also theorize, when I really enjoyed, that when a human is driving one of the cars, the transformers in car form, since they are self-propelled and do not need a person,

that they're basically the steering wheel is like their clitoris. And they get huge sexual pleasure on it. You know what, guys? Just go listen to that one. It's way better than us. Yeah. I think I would want to fuck vibrato. Vibrato, the modular dildo bot.

Uh-huh. Well, that's weird. We didn't do a lot as far as like fighting evil, but... Yeah. The rest of us turn into cars, vibrato, and you turn into a modular, top of the line, fully modern, fully Wi-Fi dildo. Gender neutral. You turn into a gender neutral, body safe, silicone, Wi-Fi dildo.

How did you, I didn't even know we could do that. Yeah, I just believed in myself, I guess. I came down and I landed next to the top of the line, modern space. I guess I just had faith in myself and I knew I could do it. I landed next to a modern space dildo while I was in my transition phase. I trans scanned it and said, that looks pretty tight. So yeah, now I turn into a dildo. Wait, but you're way bigger than the dildo,

so like when you transform, like a lot of your stuff shrinks down. I had to cut off my arms. I'm telling you, I don't understand the technology of it. I just sort of compact down and I become this new space age super dildo. And it's... Autobots, roll out. Wait, hold on. Has anyone seen vibrato?

He hasn't been around. Like, has he transformed back in a while? I love this modular dildo I just bought, but god damn, I wish I could turn into a two-story tall robot while I have it plugged deep in my ass. Oh god, here it comes. I'm dead now, of course. And here I do too. I'm dead now, of course, but wow, that was the ultimate orgasm.

My body was torn asunder, but as it rained down, it was orgasming. Now, listen guys, I just want to make something real clear. I'm not going to get into the whole war with the Decepticons and the whatever. I'm not choosing side. Autobots, roll out. I can't really roll. I guess if you put me on like a steep enough hill and I'm in, you know, the proper modular phase, I will roll.

Yo, just turning back into a robot vibrato. I'm actually kind of cool as it is. I'm kind of getting like ram jammed on the regs. So like, I'm actually pretty cool with it. But thank you. Good luck being a fire truck and stuff or whatever it is you guys do out there. And there is a scene in the first movie where Bumblebee pees onto John Turturro. So that would indicate that they do have some corner of genitalia set up.

John Turturro, robot water sports. That's the best Google search string I think I've ever conceived. Yeah, that's somebody's fetish. You see that and it turns you on and you're like, oh no. I can only finish with a two story robot. You're made son of John Turturro and it's going to be different every time. It's just not going to be it. And then you get on the internet like, oh, thank goodness.

There's literally infinite web pages devoted to exactly this. You go to his IRDB page, does a robot piss on John Turturro in Barton Fink? No, God. You might like Barton Fink. You might like. And then it just lists the 10 other John Turturro movies in which he gets urinated by a two story robot. Rounder and jiggler.

Fading jiggler. Mr. Deeds. He does it urinated on Mr. Deeds, but it's more of like a metaphysical urination. I think in Adam Sandler's like movie making contract, it's a law that a robot has to pee on someone. And if a robot's going to pee on someone in your movie, you might as well get the best. Folks, this has been our podcast. We went an hour and I was like, we're not going to get a title for this episode.

And then John Turturro robot water sports popped up and it was like, hey, everything's going to be all right. I'm here. I'm here now. Thanks for listening to our show. So we still, if in case you missed this news, we have expanded the venue for our upcoming live show in Chicago on April 5th, right? April 5th, yeah.

On April 5th, we are in the Athenium Theater. There are some tickets still available for that. We sold a ton. Thank you, Chicago. It's already going to be our biggest show ever. So thank you so much. I'm a barf. I'm thinking about now.

I'm a barf. Yeah. So thank you. If you want to get tickets to that, it's bit.ly4-mbambam-chicago. And we have tickets to our Milwaukee show too. That's selling out fast. I think it's about 80% gone. So if you've been waiting to get tickets, make sure you get them real quick.

That's what is that, Travis? What's the address? I want to say that that's bit.ly4-mbambam-m-i-l. That's right. Okay, cool. We have live shows coming up. We have two live shows this weekend. One in LA, one in San Francisco.

We're very, very excited to see all of our California buddies again. Send in your questions, please, and send in your yahoos. We're getting a lot because we're doing two shows back to back. If I could take... Can I take a minute, you guys? Sure. Do you mind if I have a minute here? Because it's time for the annual.

Mbambam, maybe check those yahoos before you send them in announcement. The courtesy announcement in which I annually just ask people to keep those yahoos civil a little bit. Maybe if you have a really great one about incest, maybe you go ahead and keep that one in the garbage where it belongs. Maybe if you have one about tricking somebody into eating, period, blood, maybe you just put that one right back in the garbage and then you burn that garbage forever. It was a pretty rowdy week in the inbox.

A lot of really upsetting stuff that I was exposed to and am now a different and one would say worse person just sort of across the board. Thank you all for sending in those yahoos. I know it takes time to dig for them. But just like if while you're digging, you hit an incest herd, don't touch it. Leave it there or tell a waste management professional about it. I also want you to know I'm just going to real quick, I'm putting a moratorium for the time being on how do I deal with terrible coworker questions because we have done a ton of those

and we get a ton of them a lot. I understand that coworkers are terrible, but just know that if you submit those questions, it's probably going to be a while before one of them makes it on the show. If you've listened to the show in previous episodes and you hear a question similar to the question you want to ask within the last 40 episodes, chances are it'll probably not make it on the show. We love really unique and specific questions to your situation. So those kinds of things usually have a better shot.

We've been in this fucking game for like 12 years now. So there's not a lot of ground we haven't uncovered. And that's not us chastising, by the way. I mean, it's no skin off our nose. We just want to get as many people to get questions on the show as humanly possible. I want to thank me undies for supporting our podcast. Go to meundies.com slash my brother and you're going to get 20% off your first order. And right now you get free shipping.

So that's a deal. Oh, and one more thing about sending questions. It's probably none of you. But sending questions to mbmbam.com is like the worst way to get a hold of Jesse Thorne. We get a lot of questions that are like, hey, Jesse, we don't like, he doesn't check those. He doesn't work for us. And you should also send those to mbmbamatmaximumfund.org.

What's maximumfund.org, you ask? Well, that's a podcast family with a lot of great shows. We talked about The Flop House this week. We've got our D&D family fantasy adventure epic with our dad, The Adventure Zone, medical history podcast called Sawbones that I do with my wife, Sidney, who's a physician. And then Travis does a show called Bunker Buddies with his buddy, Andy. And they talk about disaster scenarios and how you can survive them.

There's a lot of non-macro related programming there, too. Jordan, Jesse, Go, and Bullseye, a great pop culture show you should be listening to. Judge John Hodgman with our friend, John Hodgman. It's kind of like right there. And a lot of people wonder, how do you get to the maximum, how do you get to maximumfund.org? Well, you just go to boo-boo-nanny.com and that's going to lead you to... You have a child that you have to support financially.

You have to stop spending all your goddamn money on jokie-joke web domains that redirect to maximum to a bin-bin. But don't stop doing it because I love it. And it's my favorite thing about you. Just, okay. I just want to make sure that you do, in fact, love it. You can also access that through farpetrol.com or mysmoothface.com. Oh, my God, you did boo-boo-nanny.

Yeah, I want to go. Can I tell you something though? By registering, by registering, b-o-o, nanny.com. And by registering boo-boo-nanny, Justin, can I say something? What? That was not a boo-boo-nanny. Yeah, thank you. That was a sound decision.

Once that phrase has fully seeded this earth, I can't wait to hear like how it is translated into different languages. That's going to be very exciting for me as its progenitor. I think that that web domain is just going to sort of skyrocket. You can also follow us on Twitter at mbmbam, at the zonecast is our adventure zone Twitter, at trawismacroy, at griffinmacroy, at justamacroy. Subscribe to our videos on YouTube. We put up along with like Easily Shareable, just a little two to five minute video clips.

We also put up some really, really great animated shorts by Tyler Crowley that are just amazing. And then you can also rate and review us on iTunes. It helps bump us up the iTunes charts and kind of gets us just a little bit more attention from people who only listen to the top 10. You know who you are. If you get a second, it would be huge. If you could do us this one last favor, I know that we've been gone for a while. But please go to podcastrewards.com and vote for us in the comedy category,

saw bones in the health category, bunker buddies in the education category, and the adventure zone in the gaming category. And then vote for God. You could put in tons of other great shows, throwing shade for GLBT. It should win. Like don't be silly. Pop rocket or bullseye for culture and arts. There's lots of places they could fit.

You could throw in flop house for entertainment. Yeah. Movies and films. Movies and films. The really important one is that you vote for us. That's the super important thing. But please go do that. Please do that.

And thanks to John Rodger and along with us for the user theme song. It's a departure off the album, Putting the Days to Bed, which I assume everybody owns because we've told you to do that 150 times now. And also thank you to you for listening. Thank you. You guys are the best. Finally got it. For us.

Finally got it. This one was sent by Game Organized Game. Rachel Sperling. Thank you, Rachel. You fucking... Free Pete killed it with the hat trick. It's another football term. Thank you, Rachel.

It's by Yahoo Answers user I who asks, What animal is Sonic the Hedgehog? I'm just a McRoy. I'm Travis McRoy. I'm Griffin McRoy. Are you ready for some football? Get your dad's grand lips. Maximumfun.org.

Comedy and culture. Artist owned. Listener supported. I'm Jesse Thorn. I'm Jordan Morris. The federal government has millions of dollars in programs and opportunities. That you need to seize today. You're a taxpayer, right?

Well, then you've got it coming. Thanks to Uncle Sam. You can get grant programs for veterans. Postage stamps that'll ensure your mail gets there in a timely fashion. Fruit for you and your family. Child care for your children that turns them into super soldiers. Get a million dollars to open your own lake. Useful power tools that are easy on your soft, delicate hands.

Your own personal radioactive brick. More sexual attention from everyone at the used books. Greyhound tickets. Soft, gentle kisses from TV's John Goodman. A real narwhal. Athletic socks. Filled with stew. A valuable pamphlet on Millet.

Your father's approval. Don't wait. Right now. For all of this and more, drop us a line. Jordan Jesse Goh. One, two, three, iTunes Street. Or wherever you download podcasts.