My Brother, My Brother And Me - MBMBaM 256: Face 2 Face: I Made Some Horse Stamps in Potato Class.

Episode Date: June 15, 2015

We're live once again from MaxFunCon 2015 in beautiful Lake Arrowhead! We and the audience enjoyed a nice leisurely Sunday morning show and now, you can too! Suggested Talking Points: Hangover Slot, Jumanji Day, Proposal Business, Condom Cache, Flesh Quilts, Boogalar, Two Stop Market, Justin Did It Again

Okay, please welcome to the stage your friends and mine the McElroy brothers my brother my brother And then if I show for the modern era like Chilean miners we've emerged here on the stage of ex fun con I'm so excited to be here. I'm your oldest brother Justin McElroy. I'm your middle-est brother Travis McElroy. I'm your sweet baby brother Griffin McElroy Shit We can't wait for your pause. We got too many goose to give you. Oh, man We got throw all our entourage material out there I Can't do it. I can't do it. I can't believe Jesse you gave us the hangover slot again

Three times we have dumbass fun con Every year 10 a.m. 10 a.m. We get the hangover slot Sunday at 10 a.m. Nope Yeah, Jesse knows we he throws us into the briar patch much like much like everyone Eminem interacts with in the movie eight mile He knows that adversity is gonna make us strong So this year we just leaned into it. Yeah, this is by the way my brother my brother me Face-to-face live 16 He ain't funny he's my brother This is a PowerPoint presentation that I've prepared to go along with the show just and I will I will tear

It's a special PowerPoint presentation just for the right side of the audience. Sorry left side Man, you're missing some classic shit. Justin wrote some words on some paper So we're doing the hangover slot again. Does anybody had this? Stepping outside the bit here for a minute. Let's get real anybody having ibuprofen In the bottle. I need to see you take it out of the ibuprofen bottle Is it in the ibuprofen if it's a ziplock bag? Like a ziplock bag can be sealed or oh, oh tamper proof that is ideal. Yes Wonderful Griffin has brought us back around to the one of the treacherous parts about doing the hangover slot

Is it is not just the audience that is very? Oh? Very hungover it is also the performers, but that's good. Thank you so much. Yeah, what's your name? Suzie you've saved the show Travis I was wondering I'll stand up and van away for you if you could walk me through the rules of doing the hangover slot You got it This is an advice show by the way in case you couldn't guess yeah, has anybody not listened to the show before now Hold on Justin. Hold on. There's just one person. Okay. Thank God if we ever ask that question and nobody yells Then we just ascend into the Hagrid

Okay, so this is rule number one of the hangover show Be cool I hope one of these hold on I have a pill in my mouth. What am I doing? That's what we do here. We drink champagne. We take drugs. I Hope one of these rules is don't yell or clap Okay, J-town you could file that under being cool. It's not that cool to clap or laugh very loud. Okay rule number two You were yeah, you were doing so good with two hands that you thought Rule number two is come on. Come on. So this one's more of this one's more of a punitive statute

Yeah, and once you forgot rule number one be cool, then you get your owner to come on Come on. We're in the hangover slot. Okay rule number three He's doing it Nice nice This one is of a more congratulatory You've done it at the end you're packing up your bag. You thinking nice nice I really follow those rules those guys gave me and there's an is there more here's the thing To embrace the hangover nature of this show. We didn't pull any email questions. Yes, we're going to do all audience questions

Yeah, so Yeah, and remember Oh No bummer question Why did you still not know don't clap for this don't clap for this you have No, that's like a no with a slap so they're like, oh that there's a no sign Okay, so left side of the audience is a bit like left left side and maybe a few people who can't see because they're listening to a podcast We're sure there may be one or two of them that are in the room physics

It says no bummer questions, but the word now has the strike through no sign around I swear to God if you just sullied the show with bummer questions if you just flooded the field It's iconography now they can look at it and be like, oh, I remember the no Oh my god One thing from this show it's no we have given you guys like 260 hours of free Entertainment content at this point. Can we just have one Jimmy episode where we just sit here in absolute silence Everybody put your heads down. We're gonna turn jumanji on yeah Like in school when the teacher doesn't want to teach that day

It's a jumanji. Nick. Could you put on the first hour of jumanji manji make if you could play just play it Aladdin in Spanish because that's this is Spanish class in the how about instead We jump into things with the yahoo in case you're worried about the show being bad Don't worry. Okay. He has you fail us. We have some bulletproof show savers We will tear in case of mediocrity. These are gonna save the show Can we pivot the fucking board towards the left side of the audience at all? Then the cheese turn it flat, but then nobody gets it You're gonna knock that over you're gonna break a speaker that's show saver five

I Bruin Bruin the stage. How about this yahoo? Yeah, sometimes we read yahoo answers on the show from the internet That mainly two people in the audience And this is not so I'm talking of course about drew Davenport and Rachel Spurling I Drew's the one with the beard. Yeah last last night at the at the purple party I literally saw those two having like a rap battle in but like with a circle around them But they were just reading funny things off their phones

I Got and like screaming at each other like yeah Okay, Griffin. Yes, that question for the yahoo answer service that we will then answer all right I'm gonna go to Drew first drew Davenport sent this one in level 9000 yahoo shaman drew Davenport. Thank you. It's by a Anonymous user who asks Where would parents hide condoms? Recently I've been hearing my parents in the bedroom at night. I want to find their condoms to embarrass them

I've I've searched their room and their bathroom anywhere. I should look or double-check This kid's a real encyclopedia brown. Yeah No precautions. Yeah, it all makes sense when you realize this was their first kid. So yeah, I bet they use a lot of protection Everybody's got everybody's got a hollowed-out book right that they hide all their their Jimmy caps She you got grossed out by the term she was literally handing out a trash bag full of condoms before the show And you all are like hmm slang terms. No, thank you It's right there. There's a giant bag of condoms circling the audience. I like I like though I like the one condom that comes in the gift bag because that's that says to me you're gonna be somebody special

And it's not gonna go great enough that you want to go It's a real one off This is how oh man, how old how how young can you be to do this level of a power move on your parents? Where it's just like because you are the dad here that what's up, Bryce? Yeah now I'm the dad I'll be going to work from now on As hard as you do it too young all you could end up in a blank check situation where you are young to take care of yourself But is that what happened in blank check? Yeah, he's out of his family found his dad's condoms Fucking made him rain on him

I said give me a million dollars or I'll tell everyone You don't want this to get out do you dad you have safe sex With your wife The world will know Why do you where do parents hide where's a cool place for parents to hide things You know the best place to hide anything is the last place someone would expect so I bet they hide their condoms on their penis You think that would be the first place someone would look I Would get I would get rigorous about it. I would like 30 paces from the back door. There's an old oak tree

Turner, oh man. Oh, man. I'm so ready to make love to you Sheila It's gonna be so great and great and hot and sweaty and I need 20 minutes I need to go out to this shed. I just got to go geocache some condoms I Would have a safe a safe with a bread a scanner and those later a painting hanging over as lasers that you have to climb through But you can do it in a sexy way that would hide the mood Wait, hold on stop sir. It's just where you people in the room Justin showed them sexy once more That's some entrapment fans in the audience could you hide it inside of the paint and covering the safe?

Whoa, and you have to enter the painting like it's super mario Condoms are buried in Bob-omb's battlefield Under the chain shop. That's why the ghost is covering its eyes. Yeah Sex is beautiful Justin, can you do the first show saver, please? Do we need it? Oh shit. I thought we were doing all right. I thought it was let's ask the audience No, not for a question to meet you though. I like your spirit Can we wait on a show? I mean, yeah, well, let's see how bad

Let's see if we can come on up. Yeah I need a verbal confirmation that you understand the rules of engagement. Yeah, no bombers. So is it my cot? Yeah, good blow into them. Yeah, that's Mike Mike that was on his podcast glass Always blow into your mic. It's the best quality you can do. Okay, so me and my boyfriend been together for three and Changed years Together for a while to try to figure things out. It's about the next step But neither one of us we cannot find a formula to decide which of us is supposed to propose

This is easy and we would like to be the one that does not propose You get you each get down on one knee opposite knees you tie your legs together Wait, that's a three-legged race This this could be an amazing business opportunity for me. I Am pretty good at proposing. I don't think I did a pretty good job a surrogate proposer For just this situation a third party that will come in. It surprised you at Lowe's And you get all the stuff that you put in a house all the things that you put in a house

You know what driving those doors the windows doors walls and then your partner's like why is it? What are you doing? Why are you low by getting all these things and you're like just feel the house of the life We want to live together and then group and stuff that's a proposal. Did you not understand a fucking question? It's super romantic. You're gonna fill a cart with a house which let's get back to that And then you hand it off to your stunt double griffin You say the thing I say and then you stare silently and call griffin and tell him you're ready Griffin gets dressed or wakes up takes a shower gets dressed and then drives to where you are that doesn't And you have to stand in silence the whole time with just a house in your car

Pay good money for that. I would do a good job. Would anybody here trust me? To propose for them in a way that like felt right for them like we would need to do a pretty thorough interview I want to know like everything. No, no, no, this is jokes. These are jokes. At least I need to do this right now No, no, no No, we can do it if you want that We're not gonna get to another goddamn Milwaukee situation where People waffled on a proposal for 45 minutes and I was trapped in a Hellraiser But yeah, I think that you're welcome. Did we do it good?

You doing one on the record I don't know what these are gonna be Say some shit about those two horses People seem to like that and I want to play the favorites here One time my parents saw Gordon Lightfoot and first thing he says is Why have announced that to make everybody I will not be playing the wreck of the Edmund Fitzgerald and half the audience still open left No, Gordo, that's what we wanted to came to here my friend. What does that have to do with? Oh, I get it Oh, I see

Play the hit you're saying ghosts and horses is our rack of the Edmund Fitzgerald So here's my question. Has anybody experienced any paranormal activities who anything or equestral activity? Or the rare paranormal slash equestral activity Equestrian right damn. No takers. What right there? Yeah. Yeah, did you see a ghost? You made horse stamps in the stamps That's the best sense I've ever heard anybody say ever what was the same stuff it I made some horse stamps in potato class Yes, this is the greatest camp of all time Oh

Shit that's a good. That's a good. Will you just say that out loud again? I don't think we ever had a full sentence to be the title of the episode before this is very exciting for me I made a card with some of the like Secondary impressions, so the first one is like the the brightest and then it gets lighter as the as the potato degrades It's the potato quality the half-washes And so I made one with the secondary impressions looks like ghost horses. I'll get it out of my back for you later Oh terrific. I'm very much looking forward to that one more time. Just stop wait just one more time Can you say that wonderful sentence?

Can you oh? Can you cast that spell on me just one more time say the sentence and then say your name after it like you're quoting yourself I made some potato stamps no shit Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, I'm cool with I made some potato stamps in horse I Made some horse stamps in potato class To do a yahoo oh this this fits in very nicely is another Davenport jam the smooth trans ish I tweeted before the show that I needed more yahoo's and drew to you back. I'll just hand you so

Thank you, it's my yahoo answers user Lane who asks are there any lawyers that deal with spiritual and mental physical crime I know there is no information to be found anywhere, and they don't burn witches anymore, so what's the replacement Obama? Or did we just give up to a decent meal and carnal creature comforts as the best and safest life can be I didn't read that part before it are we not safe enough I feel pretty safe on a day-to-day basis. Have you taken any preparations against mental physical crime? No, the first step in that preparation process would be googling what the fuck that is But but Griffin what if your house gets robbed by a boogler?

How in his spectral hands even grasped my belongings checkmates That's a good point though. They caught him dead-handed It's gonna be a Travis episode I hope Jesse said everything and I did a very good job I did I definitely got the right performers for my convention Did you hear the thing that one said about You're right if you get haunted though If you get car crashed by a dry ghost driver

There's no recourse That's true, there's a special courts or anyone what the lawyer slash judge slash jury also need to be a ghost Yeah, yes for real for sure. I feel like a jury of your peers. It would have to be a ghost Yeah, the jury of your business because near-death experience. Oh, I think is the Wait, and but they all they're all ghosts because the jury was hanged that's nothing Fucking forget it. No, I got jealous of Travis and I It's not fair I was so drunk eight hours Should we get someone else up here to ask a question

Right, right, yes, whoever whoever wants to welcome the stage first person stand up Christmas. Yay God these seats are so close together. We should have thought about this better. Hello First what is your name? I Solomon we need verbal confirmation that you understand the rules. Yeah, no bummers. No bummers So I have a patreon I'd like make comics and art and stuff and so Yeah, yeah, okay, so I have rewards like over $25 Sold so what's like the next year what I need above comics and more comics double comics

Okay, so That's it. That's up to us that more than more than $25. Yeah, that's what it's $25 For $25 you send him some comics for $25 million you make him a blockbuster movie No, you buy him a blockbuster video Can you do for $50 to For $50 they can send you comics The best gift you could give the best thing is you could do is is give a gift that everybody wants But they would never purchase for themselves and ask exact sticker price for the donation

So but by which I mean $25 get you some comics $5297 and I sense it's gonna get you a house like a jet ski You're suggesting that you think that you that you use patreon. Yes to launder sell Speedboats, ooh, okay for $50 you'll give them $30 I Do need the money I lost my cloud two weeks ago. I'm gonna sit in that $50 I don't know what that is

What's the comic about can I ask oh The main comic is a porn comic fantastic We're four minutes into the Russian Not interested Can you include them in your sex comics at a certain like a hundred dollars Including in your sex comics, but make them look 10% sexier than they do in real life Make it then when you are trying to woo someone you say, oh, I've got a comic book in which I'm picked at naked Would you like to see that but the ding-dong is bigger or something or the butt looks bigger in the comic?

And then they think you're ding-dong so big Foolproof you're saying foolproof You're trying to you're trying to make a connection Intimate a skintimate connection with somebody you say I am literature for you And then I need you to sign this NBA I Think we helped I think did we do it does that help? Yeah Do you want to plug your patreon really quick because you didn't give anybody any way to find it

Um, my patreon is just my name Solomon Fletcher and the comic is called Goldie and the Bears like Goldilocks. There it is It was critically reviled Should we do a show saver? Yeah, let's do a show saver Show saver number two Show saver two is ask people to cheer for previous Max funcom performers in the hopes that they will mingle the memories of the shows And we'll look back on your show someone finally Let's hear for super ego

Think about us now don't clap it just think about us. How about the stand-up comedians last night, right? International waters Yeah, let's hear from my brother my brother and no wait fuck. No you fucked it up shit. Did you enjoy your classes? Hey, hey, hey everyone. I'm your brother. You've done more at our show. I made a horse stamp a potato class Well, that was from before we do know that one we did actually do that one so remember that one if you want We're gonna take a quick break to talk about our sponsors this week We're sponsored by me undies friend of the show. They've sponsored us a couple times We love them. Hopefully you know about it by now

Hopefully you've seen all the pictures of me online wearing any time you see a picture of anybody wearing right now You can see a picture of anybody online wearing me and he's that's my butt in my body Me and he's is dedicated to offering the most comfortable underwear, but here's the thing me on these isn't just for guys They just launched their all of me women's collection It's a four-piece line of undies designed specifically for the female body in all of its complex gorgeous as hell glory Yeah, I thought that maybe it would be more comfortable for me to hear you say that the second time But less it actually aged in a peculiar way Next time next time we just need to hire someone to come in and read that part

We're not related to who do you think like Zac Efron? Maybe Zac Efron to get 20% off you can go to me undies.com slash my brother That's me undies.com slash my brother. It's totally worth it. Like you should already be doing this right now I'm ashamed of you that you haven't done it yet Travis if you had a powerful hunger right now What would be an arms reach for you to consume? Oh, that would be me undies. No, well, I mean You've actually got this bowl of four limes here and I want decorative. This is your centerpiece It's a big big bowl just to set the stage a big big big glass bowl with four little lines Well, they gave you an idea Griffin Teresa and I challenged ourselves and we bought a whole like four pound bag of lime

Oh, well that's a lime there But sitting right next to me to my immediate right is nature box from Parmesan garlic pop-pops and some pistachio power clusters Which are my new favorite snack absolutely delicious. They're sponsoring us this week They're made with zero artificial flavors. They're nature rocks. What nature boss They've got zero grams trans fat and no high fructose corn syrup. That's not bad I think you can grab many Belgian waffles strawberry lemonade fruit stars. How many insulting what how many bells Many bells and waffles If you go to nature mountain

If you go to nature box comm slash my brother you can get a free trial box of their favorite snacks That's pretty great. I see them at this point. We're just like preaching everybody's going. Yeah, I know I'm already I've got tight Sexual underwear stuff with pistachio power clusters. Who's this next message for I got a message here for I Have a message here for Joe Zabe do my keyboard is no just kidding. It's RJ Zemudio RJ Zemudio this message is for you pal And it's from Mitch bones who says sorry that this candle night's gift is so late. Yep I debated on this or a miniature adult hippo in a small cage

I was going to blame this being late on the brothers, but I just now got around to it Thanks so much for being my best friend before this no I added that these just said best friend if you didn't know you were my best friend Well, you are now because it's cannon PS shout out to Catland and Travis And then he died It sound like maybe at only one letter to go isn't it ironic We have one more message for M from B just says happy birthday sweet cheese This is so mysterious. Do you know how off the grid you have to be before you're the of the two people in a relationship?

The the only letters you're allowed to slip out are E and M and a B Yeah, that's really these are some double agent. This is some 007 secret agent shit though, right? Yeah. Oh, yeah Yeah, we're gonna get another one from B to M. It's like the crow fly B. Yeah Bm guys before we go back to the show real quick We just wanted to say a quick. Thank you to maximum fun for having us at Max Funk on your show there later Take it back now. Okay. Everybody who came out everybody who made the show possible Like arrowhead for being so incredibly great. And yeah, it's just a fun weekend And thanks for inviting us max fun. Yeah, so when when sales go up for maximum fun 2016

Get your ticket get your tickets never been before you need to go. It's like the most fun thing It sells out instantaneously, so do not sleep Okay, back to the show. Oh man. This is good. Hey max fun listeners I'm Dave Holmes and if you've been missing my show international waters, you've been missing this I am aroused But I have zero idea really Nate a British food lady join a child. I'm afraid I can't accept that. No, it's not really it. No Pretty much. You must know your British food ladies International waters a panel show where us and UK comedians battle for pop culture supremacy

Subscribe right now on itunes or a maximum fun dot org Hey guys, I have a yahoo answer, okay, and it was sent in by Zoe Kansky. Thank you. So you can see I'm not let us ask by yahoo answers user sc-mhm And that chemical compound asks What is a good comeback when somebody tells you to stick your head in gravy That's answer If it's a chick just say oh, I didn't know you were in the food play

Then go stick your little head and gravy and have a good time with her a winky things Why did you decide to read this? This is the fucking worst No, don't read we're not reading the second part next one. It is upsetting It says the word cock in the second one different how about on let's get start over. I'm gonna use my time machine So I'll be the only person who's experienced this part so far What is it could come back with somebody says if you're in gravy, I just look I'm sure the answer which barrel Now the other thing is I have several barrels of gravy Our teams an old barrel aged great

Just like grandpa used to make our gravy sits in barrels where it was 76 years Remember that slow walk out to the Lord or to get some gravy Now you can have that great taste in a cell phone package What it falls remember? What if you say back to them? What's gravy? They're like it's like super dope. It's when you mix like milk in with flour and you add spices to it And then you say I got you I knew what gravy was before Just one of my many pranks

His classic pretend you don't know what gravy is praying get them every time how about can you just say? No, fuck you No, I Would try on and I would hate that I think we had a good drive up here. It took us five hours from Los Angeles Which is not great But we did stop for supplies on the way up the hill I want to tell you guys this fable We stopped at a place called the one stop super mark. I want to okay

I want to interrupt you Justin for the first time ever and say switch We were going to stop at Jensen's. Yeah Yes, I miss you Jensen. Thank you for coming to show And we were like well we should stop before we get on the mountain because God knows how long that will take right and We were going to go to a different supermarket And then we were driving by the one-stop market and Griffin said like oh we can just go there And as we're like pulling in it's like yeah, this is fine. It's fine. It's a super market I go in and the the shelves are just there's just like

Things on the shelves like oh, there's a blanket. Yeah, why is there an unwrapped blanket? Just lying on the shelf, but that didn't deter me my baby needs food I'm a provider so I go in there and I get a basket full baby food Everything a little Tommy could desire and I go up to check out and the gentleman picks up the first container and He stops and he looks at it He says I do have to tell you this is baby food and this is expired Then he sets it down and picks up the next container Sets it down next to the first container

This dude goes through like seven containers of expired baby food Has two that are unexpired and then looks at me as if our purchasing transaction is going to continue Like we have not reached a Off-ramp for this particular transaction was back when you told me some of the baby Like well, how let me check that date. That's that bad boy off. Let's go to town. The best part of the story is the line Now this is baby food. So I'm gonna shoot you straight I'm not gonna screw you over on this one this will kill a baby for sure The other thing is that dude looks straight at the date on the baby food as if to say I'm not going down this road again

I know what we sell here. It's expired baby food And then we had to make a second stop so bad name for your store one stop I don't want to get another person up here. Okay. Yeah, first thing I saw. Yes Awesome haircuts Solid haircuts. Hi What's your name? My name is Amy. Hi, Amy. Amy. Do you understand the rules? No bummers, right? Sorry, what was the question? Okay, so I volunteer with a quilt and textiles museum A lot of quiltsies in the house

And I've been tasked with trying to figure out how to make quilts more hip We got a sex up these quilts I'm on a youth council if that tells you anything about the usual Okay, what's give me an age demo because I like stitch the cast of girls into the Pictures of them See not oh, this is important. Oh my gosh. This is important Do not render the flesh of the cast of girls into quilts and textiles They will hate that

And it is a crime What's the age? What are we shooting for? We're going 20 to 59 20 59. Okay. So the current demographic Yeah, plus that seems intentional like okay. Here's your age range anybody but 60 year We have they have they are fully engrossed in the quilting lifestyle Maybe some clothes from fault my stars So right in there. I don't know. I thought you said quilts from fall. I haven't seen it I assumed it was very quick. We're going down a line of thinking right now

Which is that if you craft this one perfect quilt, it will set the world free I don't you guys got to think you got to think bigger. You got to think like Maybe you get a celebrity Dwayne the Rock Johnson loves Dwayne the Rock Johnson loves to quilt He loves to quilt you get a picture of him on quilt mag Quilt magazine. Yeah. Yeah, that's what it's called Quilt magazine You should see if you can get Johnson he's got a cooler on his shoulders and on the front of the magazine. It says too fast to meticulous

He didn't come into the series until fast five How about just quilt five can we get picnics popping off Are you saying that if we get picnics coming back in a big big way? Yeah, yeah, then quilt fever will fall right behind Yeah, and then your night your night job at the basket factory is gonna also Explode it's an investment in every facet of your career If there was an app where it's like list all the picnics in your area you could go join Yeah, and now we're putting people together. You get to cover a picnics monthly Dwayne the Rock Johnson says too fast to luxurious

I pick things known for the luxury Too fast too so she was okay pickers are the worst and everybody hates them, but we keep still keep doing them What about Sorry, this is a rich vein Can we get an attack line going that's like quilts is like a hundred little blankets in one All sewed up together. I like that. Okay. I did it That museum. Yes. All right quilt Santa's a museum of quilts and textiles We got we got show saver

I Just ever three see if baby is doing any cute baby tricks or stunts Baby is not in the room. Nope. Oh baby by the door everyone. Look at the baby Look at the baby. Oh my god. She way Everybody remember the feeling you feel right now associate with our show Remember this remember this moment remember this one not the other one not where Travis at Boogler remember this Remember this feeling Thanks, thanks, Chuck. I appreciate it. Thanks, baby. You got anything else in the tank. No, just put your hand in your mouth

Oh, yes, so good. That's good. Remember this Sorry, I have my email open and Rachel are you sending in questions during the show Okay, I'm with her and honored I'm flipping through them right now because I want to drop a spiraling joint on the crowd. What's the best one you sent in? Oh For sure, okay, this one's hidden by Rachel Sperling Game recognize that game real quick Oh, oh I see

Oh Holy shit It's by Yahoo Answers user Jasmine who has negative four points this week on the Yahoo Answers service Anyone write a book blurb for me? Ashley every oh fuck Ashley Everett is a valiant a valiant is a creature much like a ghoul who feeds on human flesh and is physically superior to the average human Since some of the valiant feast is on animal flesh on human flesh, you would better be physically superior to the average Hey, what the fuck

I thought you were a ham Since some of the valiant feast on animal flesh also pure blood is a valiant who has only ever feasted the highest quality of human flesh Ash, which I'm assuming is short for Ashley Everett is the descendant of the pure blood and Thea Oh my god, so the plot of the story is Ash was abducted from her home at the age of seven and although she was stronger than any human or valiant being pure blood They injected some serum into her neck and blah blah She was tortured and only escaped about 10 or so years later So basically this organization is trying to get her back and stuff and they decide to announce war on the valiant and stuff

I know it sounds terrible, and I haven't described it very well But I was wondering if someone could write me a description slash blurb ten points to the best one Hey, you ain't got ten points to give out you have negative form So let's write this blurb, let's write this book. Let's write this plot I'd rather write the screenplay adaptation because this is gonna be huge Would this be the first ever screenplay based on a yahoo answer me? Other other than 40 days and 49 days. Oh I'll write a sad lipped for it real quick

Because this was just a big pile of garbage words I think that the what my favorite part of the emails that this person who created this world Then went on to say I haven't described it very well I Do a better job. Yeah, I'm so glad the reins are in your hands for your fiction property I've I'm glad somebody else is describing the world. No, it's just you okay You know what really helps me garner information to write a blurb for somebody blah blah She's a goal who's tortured, you know

What was the blah blah covering I can't write a blurb, but I can Literary agent this shit. Can we change it from valiance to sex zombies? Or perhaps sex mummies and now it's about mummies. I'm taking it in a bit of a different direction a few notes for you Jasmine Mummies are in right now. Let me go to the next thing. Can you write a book about? Nope, I didn't have it To get somebody else up here you right there. Come on up. Yes round of applause I

Hey And how much cool good cool cool cool. What do you even know you've been doing for the past 45 minutes? Yeah, I just been chill nice nice nice. What's your question? What is your name? Well, my name is Matt Matt. Do you understand the rules? No bombers. They're not it All right, so my question So my roommate I got a dog a couple years back

It's the statute of limitations on this question is already far far Okay, so the so the problem is Normally when you get a dog after the first year you normally get them fixed especially if they're girl dogs Yeah, he hasn't done that and it's been probably she's going on four years old at this point I've told her that we should get her fixed because she comes in because she has her like lady periods every time Every you can just say periods There's all the nastiness associated with that am I right ladies?

And so I keep telling him to do this and he doesn't want to because it costs money If you're asking if you should do it yourself the answer is no No, I'm not going to take his dog to the bed and get it fixed that is not what Justin meant Justin was suggesting a budget approach Bottle of white in a scalpel and do it tonight. What are you? This is my new parody of scenes from a diet restaurant. It's all about Fixing a dog at home There are clinics that you can take dogs to

You can Trust me I Make a habit of picking up people's dogs and taking them to clinics and saying fix this dog This dog is broken I may want another one of you. You're a pretty good dog. I'm gonna leave that door open Is it a dog or a cat? It's a dog. Yeah, still a dog from the beginning of the question Same dog Every five minutes to whether this dog has been transmogrified. It's is it a peacock or still a dog cool

As I said, he wasn't getting her fixed at first because he wanted her to have puppies Okay, but we live in an apartment. So he backed out on that. So now it's just specifically budget Terrific. Yeah, maybe Kickstarter What would the reward to be Justin Just one more off the streets for $200 you can keep the leftovers Can you stop it Travis can you one them's good to Gross I can't believe you said they can the Kickstarter be for your new invention. This might not go good

dog tampons We could try it we're right now. We just go with we have we need to try it We have to try right now. We're going right now. We're going with MacGyver dog pads, which are made from old underwear Hold on. Hold on. Hold on. How does the dog feel about this? Have you asked her Look, it's not me doing this. I should hope not no one should be doing If it's any indication they tend to come off quite often Yeah, dog because like that's not where that's supposed to go

You're this is this is fun because this is a is it no there isn't this is fun Commentary on the human condition the idea of like momentum making you just this sounds like it's way more trouble to deal with Then just like spending the money to get the fig but at this point He's already waited four years, and if he does it now, he's just caving He's got to go the whole way now now. He's four years in When the dog dies he will sigh and say I did I did it I did it I kept She kept No, let's talk about the roommate not the dog

Well, hold on. Is it a boy dog just to check? Still a dog too, right? It is still a dog So why would you help did we Also since everybody else has been plugging shit, can I throw something out before I walk? You know what shit why not we'll throw dog tampons in for free That's a next year's goodie bag Condom and a dog tampon Thank you Matthew

Do we need to do we have just a few minutes left you want to do the last show say I don't have any more I only did three. Oh, okay. I don't think that's true Justin. You definitely have one more on there I don't I don't have any more stop Travis stop Travis stop I'm gonna carry it around like a boxing ring like round So if you listen to the Chicago show You'll know Prior to the Chicago live show Justin shit his pants And then the show went so well

And Justin the sign says if I can read it here to the people at home Justin pooped his pants on the way here. It's like it's new like separating the yellow Skittles from the rest of them so he can run. Oh gross so I'm driving to Columbus to catch our flight We got baby in the car and when you have a baby in the car with our baby and promise a lot of babies Once they fall asleep, you just keep going cuz man So you're driving it's like speed you can't stop the baby's asleep

You can't stop the car and as soon as the baby fell asleep by insulin abuse the bathroom. I knew I knew I needed to use the bathroom, but I couldn't stop This lasted for about an hour and we drove past McDonald's and I looked at my thoughts And I remember having the state thought I Drive past that McDonald's and the instant I am past that McDonald's Charlie wakes up. So now there's a screen baby I think I can finally do it and I just kept driving eventually I was gonna die so I pulled off onto a dirt road where I thought that I could do this in peace

I said honey, I need baby wipes Cuz I'm gonna use my feet don't when I pull off the side of the road, and I shit you not I kid you not there was a van sitting there Exactly where I was going to go use the bathroom just sitting there smoking like they were waiting for people To come try to use the bathroom in this exact spot So I drove on down the road and there was a Wendy's eventually Or I saw a speedway rather and I almost stopped there, but then oh hubris friends Because I also needed I was hungry

So I saw Wendy's up the road a little bit and then I had a stop light Oh classic and then I got to the window the door of the Wendy's and as I was going in the Wendy's They it all fell apart and this is where it gets like Werner Herzog levels of trash They didn't have a trash can for anything so that left nothing he was gonna shit in the trash Yeah, I Love them in the corner and Okay, my two options were that or have Dave Thomas's fucking ghost watch you be carrying very underwear through the restaurant I'm not gonna do that and then his walk under the counter. Go. Oh, where would you like me to put this?

Do you have a special receptacle for dirty laundry 30 minutes later Charlie's to eat? Oh, by the way, I did order food at the drive-thru I got a fucking jalapeno chicken sandwich The ghost pepper sauce on it I wasn't even thinking and then a half hour later Charlie had to Had to eat and said he wanted to stop and we passed the wind he should stop there I said I can't do that. What if they put up an old Wendy's bullets I can't get one when he's ever again. I Forgot how long that story was I goaded you into Talon. Well, that's gonna do it for us

We give you one more question. You got another question. How about this one? I was sitting by Jay Don Yes, Jay Don is not here. Wait, is he Jay gone? Okay, I Thought Drew knew whether Jay Don was here or not. No, no, he's back at the office. It's by Yahoo answers user Liz who asks I need to learn how to work at Subway I just got a summer job at Subway and I start my training in three days I really want to know something before I get there so I can pick up everything fast and get to work quicker Stuff like how to work the register how to bake bread, etc.

It would be helpful. Thanks Is this the first person ever who doesn't want to waste time working at Subway like I want to get straight to work I think they want to roll up and they'd be like, alright Here's your here's your mess smock and here's your name tag and I'm gonna show you how you use a provolone slicer And they're like don't even bother. Oh my god, you did it perfect your first time. You're the chosen one You are the chosen you are you are the the focal ascendant That's the bad part about that if you go in there too good, they're gonna think you're the one for prophecy And then you got to find a dragon or something

You gotta fight the salami dragon My favorite death leopard album fight the salami Is there an underground fuck is there a fuck is there an underground Black market subway school that we can run to get people better at their their craft I was I worked next to a subway at the country's best yogurt once and I would go in there basically every day And I get that smell on me Still on me to this day and one time somebody's making my sandwich and they cut their finger and then they but they're wearing a Plastic thing on their hand. So that was aesthetically just bet the worst. There's a very challenging ending to this episode of my brother

But then they tried to fucking one-handed like They tried to like do it with their good clean hand And then the manager came out was like, don't just go in the back. We are so angry at you at this moment I worked at Jimmy John's for a while not germane No, it is because I never learned to make any sandwiches the whole time. I was there because And this is the not a joke They're so obsessed with being fast that they would every time be like Travis hop on the line and make like a number 1400 Sandwich or whatever and I would say, okay, no one's trained me to do that yet

They're like, oh, there's no time for that. Just get on the register every time for six months And I'm like, okay, and then when I went to quit the dude was like, how about instead we make you assistant manager I Was like Austin, I still don't know how to make sandwiches. Yeah, no, you're you would be more big picture I was just there to develop. I'm in the taste and development department. What if we take the bread away? What are we left with it? It's a disaster ball. It's an oops no bread I Love is on the outside the bread's in the middle. How about a thing? Nope, none of it has been a thing yet

You let's stop the show. We've done we've were exhausted. Okay. I'm gonna have any more. We gotta walk down the mountain. Yeah, that's Thank you so much for having us here a maximum fun convention We've had a lot of fun Eat a lot of good food thanks to everybody that Jesse mentioned earlier Yeah, like I know I feel like I know most of the names, but then I'll forget one and that person will feel so shitty I don't want to do that to them. I Will say Jesse didn't think our wives and I want to do Well, it's not our baby careful takes a village Griffin takes a village

Real quick before we end we just want to jump back in to say thank you once more to our sponsors Me on these is dedicated to offering the most comfortable underwear if you go to me on these comm slash my brother You can get 20% off your first order Want to say thank you also to nature box where you can order hundreds of great tasting healthy snacks Go to nature box comm slash my brother to sign up for your free sampler box of great tasting healthy snacks Let go of my shoe. I was thinking like you know TV shows have those things at the end It's like a fun little cartoon. It's like What if we had one of those to the universe show what would that look like just what do you what was the thing about?

What would you let me have this grabby a sip of music good dog? Yeah, but back to the show We just hold on. Hold on. Hold on. Hold on. Can we get Chuck Laurie to write one of his really funny disclaimers? I'll call We released from river to you the listening audience I do I do fire who pins and needles on them the pins and the needles. It's Rachel Sperling everybody Lothar in the hand people who asks Are the hinges on blu-ray box is getting weaker or am I getting a whole lot stronger? I'm Justin McElroy. I'm Travis Matt. I'm Travis McElroy.

My brother loves me. Kiss your tats for wear on the lips My dear for Justin, Travis and Griffin Maximum fun or comedy and culture artist owned listener supported