My Brother, My Brother And Me - MBMBaM 262: Where Everybody Flies a Plane

Episode Date: July 28, 2015

Apologies in advance: We recorded this episode in a hurry, thanks to some chaotic McElroy family travel adventures -- as a result, Travis recorded with the wrong mic. Now, as for the 10 minutes of vamping on the theme song for Wings: We have no excuse for that. Suggested talking points: 10 Year Jump Analysis, Dweezil Zappa's Love Party, Earthquake Sex, Tectosexual, Wings, Muscle Puzzles, Ewok Butt Carriers, Kevin Sorbones, Lice Bryce

The McElroy brothers are not experts, and their advice should never be followed. Travis insists he's a sexpert, but if there's a degree on his wall, I haven't seen it. Also, this show isn't for kids, which I mentioned only so the babies out there will know how cool they are for listening. What's up, you cool baby? Hi everybody, welcome to my brother and my brother meeting, advice show for the modern era. I'm your oldest brother Justin McElroy. I'm your middlest brother Travis McElroy. I'm your sweet, sweet baby brother Griffin McElroy. Now baby brother, you're sitting next to me. That's it, we're sitting next to each other. I'm looking at you, I feel you. I'm looking at you drink this devastating

cocktail I watched you make in the kitchen for yourself. Yeah. It's just since the gross, that's the grossest thing I've maybe ever seen anybody put into. It's mainly milk and also coffee. The sign of a great cocktail is it's mostly milk. It's mostly milk and coffee and liquor. It's called, how's my bathroom today? It's called minority bathroom report. It's called, I just downloaded that new Jurassic World game on my iPhone and I really want to get deep. Here comes a red ball from the Precogs. It says you're going to kill your bath. You're in town for your high school reunion, Griffin, your 10-year reunion. My 10th, yeah, my decade. That's the most important one, as we all know. Here is the question I think on everybody's mind. Were the people there at

the reunion impressed enough by the fact that you had a popular podcast? Oh man, let me tell you. No, not really. Not really. Oh, I mean, what's enough? What would be, what would be, are we looking for? I'm looking like a really, really clear you on your shoulder carry. I was not lifted. I was not, I was not carried. I was not heralded. My buddy Alex tried to get the hype going. He tried to get, he tried to get the, that train of rolling. He was like, this dude had a day named after him last year. I was like, well, that's not entirely accurate. It was, did you buy a round for the bar and say, don't worry, this one's on Totino's? No, my friend, my old buddy Derek bought a round for the bar. And then he got concerned that not

everybody was cashing in on his offer, which I get. Like if you go out and say, hey, everyone, this next one's on me. And then there are people who don't get one on you. Well, some of those people, the big worry is that they're planning on saving it. They'll come back to the bar in a few weeks and say, I think I should have a one. I believe that I owe you for a one on him. I feel the exact opposite of how I imagined Derek must have felt. If I said a round on the bar on me, and like everyone went, oh, that's all right, I would be so relieved because I would have gotten them with the gesture, but like, I like to go when I'd like to say that when I'm the only one in the bar. And, but then it's like, and everybody laughs, but it's just me laughing. And then I get a little

sad. Yeah. What about this move? Next one that the next person ordered is on me. And then you just watch them fight for your love. The 11th caller gets a free drink. And here's my phone number. Everybody just start calling me and friend me on Facebook. I was hoping for like a 10 year review from you guys of how I've been doing since 2005 when I graduated high school. Well, we hit the podcast. We did the podcast last week. You got married, right? I got married. Like, it doesn't just have to be life events. Like how just how has my performance been? How am I? What about my physique? I felt that around year like five. It really started to kind of wane a little bit. He had peaked. Wait, which element of my persona are you even talking about?

Your performance. It's just like, you're like overall like, like, I can't lift as much. I can't lift as much weight. You're lifting your health, your BIM, your vigor, all my stats, all my statistics. I mean, you haven't been getting as many RBIs. Your fielding is weak. Dad used to call those ribbies. And I thought it was just like pretty standard. So I had a few incidents in my mid 20s where I'd be at a bar, people were watching baseball. And I would say like a nice ribby or something. I'm sure that there was something about sports that you didn't get adjusted. Yeah, it's weird. I'm certainly not scoring as many home runs as I once did or home alone as I call them. I'm certain I certainly can I tell you guys in the last decade how many

home alone so I've pulled down? None of them. This is a comedy advice show where we I want you to fucking lay it on me. I want it. I want it. I'm not going to get any better if you guys don't tell me what needs improvement. I want you to beat me into the ground also never become the world's greatest drummer or home run getter or whatever I tell you want me to whiplash. I want you to whiplash me. No, no, that's not my beat. That's not my beat. You're not supposed to say mean things about me while I do drums. And you're not doing a great job. Tear my shit apart. I'm not going to get when I'm when I'm 38 years old. Yeah, I don't want to be the same as I am right now. But that is sort of the direction that you're pushing me. Good job, Griffin. Stay the same. You 10 out of 10.

I wouldn't change your thing. Can I say that, though? Like you if you could stay the same, like if you could aim for that in 10 years, I think you will be far ahead of the curve. Like you could just maintain. I just want to increase my jump height if I'm the same, but I can my increase my vertical leap by seven inches. That's going to be great because you're going to the entire reunion, trying to find a reason not just to jump super high, but to jump super high in a context in which people would need to measure the inches and compare it. See, I that's one problem is I didn't jump right now on the Facebook page of your reunion. In case anybody missed it, I did clock in at six vertical inches. People are posting pictures already in that Facebook group.

I need to hop in and be like, oh, this is right before I jumped 36 inches. No, you've got to improve. You don't want to be 36 inches right now. You want to have good growth. Every day post like a three second video of you jumping next to a ruler and just like every day chart like how much you go up or maybe like there's a day where it's like, oh, that was like a half inch down. What happened? And like you ate a big burrito and we can like charted over the next 10 years. Then we'll end up being 3,650. You are you are like treacherously close to upwardly territory right now. This man measured his vertical leap every day for 10 years and you won't believe what happens next. Nothing. Nothing. It's the same 36 inches. That doesn't seem like

that's three feet. That doesn't seem like very is that good? That would actually be insane. Okay, wait. Stop. Are you telling me if you can leap three feet straight up on the ground? You wouldn't be impressed? Okay, hold on. I want to get some sort of ballpark here. Oh, my legs. Stop. My baby's sleeping. Don't do this anymore. Let's read the first question. We don't need another 259. Okay, it looked like about 18 inches. I just got to double that. Should we get into the advice? Yeah. My birthday is coming up and I'm having a dope party. Uh-oh. Call the cops. Casually seeing a couple of dudes right now and I'm pretty sure they all know of this impending natal anniversary. But I'm not sure who, if any of them, to invite. What do I do?

Too many suitors been there. I kind of feel like you would invite none of them. Because I feel like if you're planning a party like you already are going to have so much to think about, you don't want like a new romance to sort of distract you from just sort of enjoying the party with people. Your soup's comfortable. Now, Justin, may I counterpoint? You invite all of you first. And now this way, what you've done is you've guaranteed an interesting evening. Kind of your Flintstones, like you want to go to the bowling league, but you also have Pebble's birthday. Okay, but Fred didn't do that shit to make it sexy. Like he didn't try and sex his life. How do you know that? His and Barney's relationship had grown a bit stale and

they wanted to like have adventure as friendships. I want to add a little bit of flavor to this equation. Hey, Fred, those things are getting a little stale. Get your dick out. What was the last time you fought me for the Pebbles? For the fruity Pebbles? Here's the question. It's weird, isn't it weird? Wait, hold on. Isn't it weird that Barney? I've never thought of it. Barney was trying to steal a cereal from Fred named after his daughter. I'm going to gobble your Pebbles. Stop it. What are you talking about? You're going to gobble my Pebbles. I want a spoonful of Pebbles. Get out of here, you fucking weirdo. I want to take a big bite of Bam Bam. What are you going to? Yeah. How's that? How's that feel? How's that feel to you? Bambi, I had a cereal.

I think it's like peanut butter, boulders, something. I'd love to have one night with Wilma. For one million clams. One night with Wilma is a lot of it. General Mills made a series called One Night with Wilma. We made a sex tape with a particularly low-quacious velociraptor. He watched us and then he recorded it. It's 11. He'd tear it down and make an audio recording. It's 11. Do all the fellas, along with knowing about your birthday, do they know that you're seeing multiple dudes or are you doing this on the DL? If they were all at the party together, they'd be like, why are you smooching on Steve? It doesn't matter if they're doing it on the

HL or on the DL Hugley. If it's casual, it sounds, it doesn't sound like they give a shit like they meet. Hey, I'm Bryce. Hey, I'm Todd. I'm with Rosanne. Yeah, me too. I'm with Rosanne. Cool. It's casual. I watch Rosanne. Yeah, I also watch Rosanne. I also watch Rosanne. You son of a bitch, that's my thing. Now we're going to fight. Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. What if the party ends with like, listen, me and Bryson got to talking and we're going to give you a birthday present to remember. We're all going to watch Rosanne together. Well, we're going to like just both pleasure you all night long. Oh, thanks for saving this energy until I was in the room with you. But think about it. Yeah, no, no, I think this is fine playback considering on

another podcast we record. I had to listen to our father two inches from my face. Yeah. Fucking R. Kelly Dirty Talks and Plants. Like I think this is an adventure on episode 18. What if they decide, what if they fulfill your fantasy of like, they, one of them dresses like Jacob and one of them dresses like Edward and they fight over your love, a birthday fantasy just for you. Or one of them dresses like Jacob and the other one dresses like the other godlike character from loss and they compete for your soul. One of them dresses like Jacob Marley and the other one dresses like Screech. That's good. That's good. That's good. Go to life. If you can think of other Jacobs, send us a text. Text us right now. Jacob to 414141. One of you is Jacob Marley.

One of you is Ziggy Marley. And one of you is Dweezel Zappa. But you actually are Dweezel Zappa. This question is from Dweezel Zappa. I'm seeing a couple of guys and also Dweezel Zappa. And it's weird like Dweezel knows about it. The others who don't know about Dweezel. And I've got a sack of flour and a chicken and a wolf. I need to get all six of them across the river. But I've only got one raft. And Dweezel Zappa is going to eat all the flour if I leave him alone with it. But the chicken will eat Dweezel Zappa. Also Dweezel Zappa won't get on the raft. So that seems like that seems like it's just sort of going to screw you over. Dweezel Zappa is just like fool me once. No. He won't get on the raft. I've been hurt on raft before. Not full of another raft scheme.

How about a yahoo? Yeah. This yahoo is sent by Zoe Kinski climbing out ladder. It's by yahoo answers user Christina R93 who asks, if people are having sex during an earthquake do they still have to move? My friends and I were joking around and this question popped up. There is no wrong or right answer. There is. I don't know why you got so zen like about it so quickly. Just to see what kind of answers there are. Opinions are greatly encouraged. Well opinions are basically probably always. Opinions as opposed to scientific like study theories. Yeah. You got a control group with placebo effect. You just thought there was an earthquake but you were fucking.

So let me, this might get a little blue. This is the picture that they're painting right. There's two people. They begin love making and then an earthquake starts and then they go. Thank God. And then just relax every muscle simultaneously and let the earth do the work. That's actually the safest thing to do in the Melbourne earthquake. Just relax all your muscles. Just go jelly bones. And let go jelly bones and just let your member jiggle and wiggle and wriggle and wriggle and wriggle and wiggle and wriggle. Just let your bits just go to town all on their own. You know what? You've had a hard day. You put in the work down the office. Now it's time for the earth to make your bits move so that you don't have to.

What if you instantly fetishize it and then it ruins your love life because it's unpredictable when you'll be able to climb that. That was wholly, wholly unpleasant for me. Your foot has got to get back into the DMZ. I'm sitting in the fucking splash zone of justice. You need to move your foot. I've touched it twice now and I hate, I hate, we started, I tell people we started in this podcast because we weren't communicating with each other enough and I missed you guys. That's 100% true. I hate doing this. It's the same room as you. It is miserable. I mean, when I started recording, we still recorded from our separate bedrooms. Like we were in the same apartment, two rooms apart. Because we have to go into some places

that require me to be rather free with my own sort of psyche and sexuality, just like removing all the barriers. Like even as I'm saying that, even as I'm saying that sense, you're looking at me as I'm saying. Say it again. So we just stare straight ahead. That would be excellent. I'm just going to look at this grub-ho bad you had pulled up. I'm just going to stare a whole new that. There are people, there are probably people who are tectonic and sexual, right? Do you think after that New Yorker piece came out, they were like, we have to get up in the Pacific Northwest and get, just stay hard 24 seven, I guess, just waiting for the big one. Oh man, because it's going to be, according to that article,

it's going to be like three uninterrupted minutes. That's going to feel so good. You guys, this explains why we, I went to see San Andreas. There was like one other person in there who just kept winking at me. I get it. That was the rock, that was the rock that Dwayne Johnson. No intacto sexual. He was saying, thanks. Yeah, I made this one for free. This one was for Dwayne. What if the rock did show up at screenings with movies that he just went from person to person. Excuse me. Excuse me. It's me, the rock. How do you enjoy the picture? Is there anything I can prove on next time? Thanks. Here's a coupon for Wendy's. Thanks for taking this brief survey. I got this coupon the last time I went. I'm never going to

use it. The rock is Dave Thomas. Did you know that? Yeah. I read about it on the blogs. He looks really good. I recently went to a wedding in which I bought a few gifts off the registry for the soon to be married couple as you do. Oh, it's a quick sidebar. Do you guys ever have a set amount in mind that you want to spend on a gift registry and the things that are about that price already taken? So you end up buying like five really terrible things just to get to that dollar amount. I got you some napkins and some napkins. And there's four forks you wanted at these cups. I got you one piece of the crystal wear set. I hope somebody else is going to swoop in there. I hope it anyway. The issue being here is that within three months they'd already filed for

divorce and were officially divorced shortly thereafter. Is there a time limit or protocol for returning gifts? Wait, what? I don't believe that a marriage doesn't extend beyond six months or possibly should be able to keep the thousands in cash and gifts they receive. That's from malevolent matrimony in Milwaukee. Like the fuck are you? What the fuck are you talking about? Like how are you? You know that Seinfeld's off the air, right? Right? You don't have to pitch episodes. What are you talking about? Give me my my stem whereabouts. What are you talking about? I have the answer. You didn't know answer required. This isn't a this isn't a thing. I've got the answer. I've got the answer. Please let me give the answer. Please.

Yeah, please. I want it now. The answer is the same amount of time that the government requires that couples stay married in green card cases. I don't know how long that is, mind you. Federal on this. You don't know how long it is. But but however long somebody as many times you've watched the film green card as many times as you spend your life remembering the episodes of wings in which Helen married Antonio Scarpacci for his green card and then they eventually got divorced. But oh no, he didn't actually turn in the paperwork. So then she wasn't able to marry Timothy Daley's character whose name was you remembered so much about you remembered so much about the wing story arc, but not the name of the name. I think his name was Pilotson.

Brian was his brother. I think it was Mark Pilotson. How do I not remember Tim Daley's character? Nobody's going to remember this story arc of my brother, my brother and me because they're going to stop listening, thinking about remembering and talking about the podcast after this. Helen Helen had a sister who was Amy. Yeah, it's back. Okay, you guys check back in with me. Man, I had this whole thing lied about way. I was going to know about green card. And I was going to say like, you always talk about what a big deaf or a dude you are. And then I didn't get to wait. Oh, but wait, oh, but wait, you just did. I just got it in, I guess. If Travis wants to. Anybody else have any things that they wanted to say during the episode, but like somebody else

cut them off and then I'm really enjoying Travis's new bit shitty Wikipedia. Tim Daley played, I don't know, whatever, something. Okay, we're done with the episode. This Yahoo answer that I'm going to read to you now is sent in by Drew Davenport. Thank you. Yeah, Drew drew it. Drew Davenport Joe is his name. Thank you slam dunk three pointer from the half court line. He's a large man. All right, what is at the bottom of my glass? Can you give me that sharpie so I can stir this up a little bit? Is this what it's like for you when like nobody else is or is this the you you are when you're drinking a milk, you're drinking a tall glass of milk booze and you're still in that beach life. Oh, he just sucked that he just sucked the booze off the sharpie. He

just put the sharpie in his mouth and got the five characters from Cheers. Norm Cliff, Frasier, Lilith and Rebecca made appearances on Wings, but no characters from Wings crossed over to any Cheers episodes. Though Thomas Hayden Church, who played Lowell, played an unrelated character on a Cheers episode prior to being cast on Wings. All of this is getting cut out of the show. Let me please, please let's ask him another question. Please. This this yadru answers is by yadru answer user Jackie who asks, I have only been a massage there. What are you doing? I'm reading the yadru answer. Are you drunk? No, are you? All right, let's get this thing back on track guys. This yadru answer is by yadru answers user Jackie who asks, puzzle of the muscles.

Not do you want to read it? What? Do you want to read it? No, I don't want to read it. Why do you think I want to read it? Because you tried to. Well, I just got confused about what we were doing. I'm not I don't usually see them in front of me. If I see a question, I just read it. You just let it read. Travis. Yes. Do you remember the theme song to Wings? I think it was like, boo-doo-boo Wings, Wings, Wings, Wings, Wings, Wings, Wings, Wings. Everybody flies a plane. Brothers, brothers flying planes. I think there's a murder mystery episode this one time. Tony Shalu went on to do the show, Monk. If I remember correctly, I don't have the lyrics in

front of me. Wings, Wings, Wings, Wings. Planes go to China, never flew there before, who cares? Well, I don't know what to do with these thoughts now that I'm scrambled, Wings. Okay, sorry. Sorry. It actually went, boo-doo-boo, boom, boom, boom, boom, Wings, Wings, Wings, Wings, Wings, Wings, Wings, Wings, Wings, Wings, Wings, Wings, Wings, Wings, Wings, Wings, Wings, Wings, Wings, Wings. So, this yad-dhruh was sent in by- it was asked by Jackie, who asks. Puzzle of the muscles? I have only been a massage therapist for five months

and have been receiving guidance from the lead therapist at my work. She says that I should look over the muscles of the body again to see how they run. I joked saying that I should just make a puzzle of the muscles. Well, she really liked that idea and now wants to see me make one. How would I make a puzzle of the muscles? Thanks. You're gonna need to collect some muscles. It's gonna be the tricky part. That's gonna be number one. It's gonna be getting your hands on some legal muscles.

Would you do a three-dimensional puzzle or is it gonna be two-dimensional just like for babies? If you're using human muscle mass, it's gonna be in three-dimension. Here's the thing. I don't think that you could do like a foam, like a human analog, you know, myth-busters style thing. But I feel like the consistency difference of not actual flesh muscles, nobody's coming back to do it a second time. You know what I mean? I'm not. Griff, your read on this is confusing to me. I don't think this this massage therapist guru was instructing this person to create

a Hannibal-esque sculpture made of human muscles that could be disassembled and reassembled. Now who's misunderstanding? You're the misunderstander, sir, because it's not going to be a statue. It's got to be interactive. There's got to be an interactive sort of gameplay element to it because it's a puzzle. And they want you to solve it. It needs to be vaguely human, but you have to work this thing out for yourself. Maybe there's a word search in there. A jumble, a jumble of muscles. A jumble of meat, but there's somewhere in there is the word that's going to unlock the trip.

And Justin, there's a precedent for this. You went to it, I think. Like what was that museum exhibit with all the skin? It was bodies, yeah. It's just like that. It's interactive for kids. You were not encouraged to like disassemble and reassemble those. That's gula. Well, not encouraged, but they also like slip them a fiver and you do whatever you want. No, I mean, you were actively discouraged from disassembling and reassembling the muscle. There's a big person that stands by each exhibit to keep people from touching them, to keep people from reassembling them into, I don't know, a double man.

And they didn't have any kind of like take home version or... Most museums don't actually have a take home version. They do. No, but they have like you go in the gear shop and it's like, here's a tiny Mona Lisa. Here's a little David. They, I mean, they sold operation, but I don't think that's the same thing. Well, it's a start. Thanks. You will get, let's do a different Yahoo. Something with some more meat. But I made that good joke.

This Yahoo is sent in by Ira Ray. Are you Ira Ray? Who wants to know? Thank you, Ira Ray. It's by Yahoo Answers User. Mysterious Griffin. But that's with YPH, so it's not my brand. Serious Griffin asks, homemade, in quotes, homemade, ways to replicate the look of a butt bra? Wait, what? I'm not talking about, I'm not talking about exercise, but about ways to dress.

I've seen butt bras online, but these are expensive. Are there any homemade ways to replicate the look of a butt bra? Update, I should have been more clear. I feel like you're pretty explicit. A butt bra lifts the buttocks. It does not use padding at all. I am not interested in padding, just lifting. I would think padding would be so much easier. Way easier.

Like way wicked easy. Trying to reshape, like someone making a man-made lake, trying to reshape the waters of your buttocks in the sense of fashionable, fashionable visage. May I be vulnerable for a moment? I feel you've been extremely vulnerable this whole episode. Thank you, Griffin. I've seen, you're a raw wound.

How is a butt bra with no padding that just lifts, how is it different from like tight underpants? Because it lifts, it lifts and separates. But is it like suspenders attached? It's really far apart. Is it like suspenders attached to underpants? Like how are you getting the lifting action? I'm assuming it's like, it's like a hammock.

I would imagine it's constructed like a hammock with like, and it swoops over your shoulders and around your neck, sort of like you're hauling, like a villager hauling water from the well. It's that same sort of contraption, like a leather strap. A front to back saddle bag. Exactly, exactly. Well, how do you recreate that? How do you recreate that?

Because they're very, they're imaginary and they're very expensive. Maybe the belt wrapped around your neck. Okay. So I just one problem that I've noticed with your plan so far. Okay. That's not safe. It's not safe. Well, it depends on your butt size.

If your butt's very heavy in a fashion that's going to make it choking, sort of hazard, you don't want to do that. How about a bungee cord with fish hooks on either end? Oh my God. And you're going to get what? No, I'm just saying like you get down the bottom. Okay. Well, maybe instead of instead of fish hooks,

just like a really strong duct tape. Is that better? A little bit, but it's still not good. Can you get little cross, like a crossbeam that goes from your thigh that just sort of holds your butt up, but then no through the pants. It would look like you would have had like an acute triangle in there. You're going to need a flying buttress, like a nice curve, hold that butt up and pun intended.

Was it? Yep. What about a... I didn't emphasize it enough though. Can I try it again? A flying buttress. Can you get a sort of page or servant boy to just sort of hold it up for you that you walk around,

sort of like he's carrying your train? I like that. Is that... You're going to need two, because what you're going to need is like a two by four. I don't think a small boy would be appropriate, because you're getting into some legal issues there. I think you got to get an Ewok,

because they're exactly the right size. You just slap a dress over the Ewok in the back and have the Ewok go around like, yep, yep, just carrying your butt around. Yep. Jeb, Jeb, you know the rules I'm trying to twerk over here, so do the thing you do. Do the thing you do to make me twerk artificially, Jeb, Jeb. If you paid a...

Okay, if you paid an Ewok in walnuts and stuff, to carry your butt around, is there any chance he makes it through the entire night without trying to stick his finger in your butt? Like, guarantee he tries at least one. I'm just thinking about what I know of Ewoks. They're mischievous. Hold on.

That's what you know of Ewoks? Like, when they get a little bit frustrated, because they're not getting enough like acorns and berries or whatever. They're from the forest, they're from the forest moon of Endor. They eat walnuts and berries, and they love to finger blast you in the background. Here's the problem though. Do you give them all the acorns up front?

You give them to me and he blows his way through them. It depends on what you want, because if you want an Ewok to turn you into a meaty puppet, if you want an Ewok to turn you into a puzzle of muscles, then you do give them all up front, and he's like, well, I got paid, so I can... Now this is wicked. Now this is wicked.

You've got to give them half up front and half at the end. Like, you're hired a hit man. Yeah. Hey, Griffin. Yeah. Show me those wings again. Show me those wings. Don't waste another minute on your fly-ins.

A minute on your fly-ins. What was it? Don't waste another minute on your fly-ins. Fly-in, minute on your fly-in. A minute on your fly-in. Because it rhymes with crying. One more time. Don't waste another minute on the wings of Colin.

Frazier. Lowl all over my face. Wings. What was that? Seinfeld. I thought it was actually a little bit of Doug. Wings. Let's go to the money zone.

Now we've earned it. You've probably already pooped your pants and laughed for some of these great Wings-related bits in the show, and you're going to need some new underwear. Luckily, we've got a hookup just for you. It's butt bras. It's wrong for this week. No, it's not.

It's meandys.com. It costs less than one of the upper echelon butt bras. It's about the price of a regular butt bra that you get in stores. It is admittedly slightly more expensive than an entry-level butt bra. It's like a department store butt bra price. Their tagline is department store butt bra price but higher echelon butt bra quality.

meandys.com is committed to making the world's most comfortable underwear, and right now you can get 20% off of your first order when you go to meandys, that's meandys.com, slash my brother. And listen, if you don't love them, your first pair is free. We all wear them, and we all are huge fans, and we've heard from so many listeners who said, these are the most comfortable underwear I've ever worn.

You guys did not steer me wrong, so you should definitely go get some of those. So you're wearing great underwear from meandys. Now what's next? What are you going to do? Go to the... I want to tell you guys about Basecamp. Basecamp is a project management service software solution. That's what they call it, the triple S.

And what it does is it helps you wrangle people that are maybe doing different roles that have different responsibilities and have different objectives, and lets you get them all under one umbrella and lead them towards a common goal, finishing the project, getting it done and in the can. It runs on secure servers up in the cloud,

so you don't have to mess with anything technical. They do all that for you. If you're having a hard time just sort of getting, hey, it's like wrangling ducks. It's like herding ducks in here. It's like being pecked to death by ducks. I would recommend that you go with Basecamp. And if you're a listener of my brother and my brother and me,

which you are, then you can try Basecamp for free for two months at basecamp.com slash my brother. Got a message on the Jumbotron. If you want to give a quick message to your business or something to a friend, you can go to maximumfun.org slash jumbotron. This is, well, let's say about the drunk and ugly. It's a podcast featuring over 400 episodes

of great storylines, hilarious characters, and more indie RPGs than you can shake a wizard's staff at. You'll laugh, you'll cry, you'll critically succeed at being entertained. Come check out the drunk and ugly actual play podcast. Griffin, how can I find this great sounding show with so many episodes?

All you got to do is go to their website at drunkenugly.com or just search for drunk and ugly on iTunes. You'll find it there. 400 episodes is a lot of episodes. I, God, I hope we don't make it to 400. I will consider personal failure if we make 400 episodes of this show. We also have a message for Anna.

Go ahead, Joe. No, go for it. You're good. You have mispronounced the name. I have Anna, like the Frozen character. It's from Liz. I think the Frozen character's named Anna, isn't it? I don't know anymore.

I'm all turned around. Happy birthday, Gebert. Here's a poem for you. Recited by the MacRoy brother, there's currently the closest geographically or emotionally to Angela Lansbury. That's actually correct. Love you.

Your present from me is as late as can be. So I hope you don't think I don't care. I know that it's late, but I think that you're great from your sys with the magical hair. That's lovely. That's lovely. For a second, Travis, I was wondering

why you were reading that in that voice and not in the voice of Angela Lansbury. And then I realized I was thinking of Maya Angelou. And she's too. A lot of people said that's too confused. That's two different people. The more different people. Yeah.

Both powerful women. It's actually strong. Hi, I'm Julie Sabatier, host of Rendered. It's a show about making meaning and breaking rules. We're answering important questions like, can you build a spacesuit in your living room? I went to my brother's place in Beaverton and he has a swimming pool and I pressurized the suit

and sat down there underwater for about 10 minutes. The thing that I built was supporting my life. That felt really good. What does it sound like when you play a polka record through a styrofoam cup? And what happens when an airport carpet gains a cult following? Oh my goodness. The carpet has an Instagram.

Check out Rendered now at MaximumFun.org or wherever you like to listen to podcasts. My fiance and I are in the process of planning our wedding. We're pretty in sync with most of the decisions so far, including trying to get a famous person to attend the wedding. However, we have different strategies. I say we should cast a wide net by inviting multiple big celebrities and hope that one is free that day.

He thinks we should only invite one lesser known but still recognizable celebrity as they'll be flattered and definitely show. Who has the fail-proof plan? That's from RSV, please help. Dear Kevin Sorbet, I'm inviting you to our wedding and it's important that you know that you are the only famous person we've invited.

We are putting all of our eggs in the sorbet basket Are you worried that you'll get a response from Kevin Sorbet? Who's like, I was just talking to friend Stuart and he said you invited him too. What the fuck, Steve? Or they both show up and you don't have enough chicken to go around. I only planned on one of you show ago. Bro, bro, if Sorbet shows up,

there's not going to be enough chicken to go around. That fool will eat all the chicken in the place. He eats up all the chicken that you got on your shelf. So just let him introduce himself. He's Kevin, the chicken boy Sorbet. He loves chicken. You won't even be done with your vows. You'll hear a clatter and a clang in the kitchen.

What is that? It's Kevin Sorbet. What do you mean this is all the chicken you have? Chicken boy. We hadn't even cooked that shit yet. Sorbo. I just imagined I'd want some Kevin Sorbet. I was like, here's my standard contract.

I'll show up two seconds before the vows. I'll listen to one of you do the vows. Then I'm on that chicken. I need at least 30 vows. The worst part is he eats the bones and then calls them Sorbons. That makes it okay. And that's crazy is that he somehow,

and nobody's been able to figure this out, science, religion, nobody's been able to figure this out yet. He eats the bones and he adds them to his skeleton. And don't offer that fool any Sorbet. He will fucking lose his mind. Yeah, I get it. He looks like Doomsday at this point. This chicken bones emitting from his skin.

Like some sort of a kite. Why is Kevin's, here's what I don't get. Where is he putting it all? Because I've seen Kevin Sorbo eat five whole chickens. He goes home and feeds it to his chicks. Wait, that's what? To the baby Sorbos. He creates a pellet in his gullet.

Right? It gets mushed up with the rocks that he's eaten earlier. And then he goes home to the baby Sorbos. Mama birds it in. And mama birds it into his baby Sorbos. If you can't open it. If you cut one of those, if you cut one of those e-bowl this is. Like eolus from Hercules.

Cut one of those open. You can tell how old Kevin Sorbos is. The answer is 615 years old. It's the bones. He looks so young. It's the bones. I heard when the bird flu was going around in China, he didn't leave his house for three weeks.

He was terrified. Yeah. He started stockpiling. Why would you want a famous person? That would be the most uncomfortable thing ever, right? To have just a stranger. You would be constantly worrying about is Kevin Sorbo having a good time? And you're going to neglect every other person at that wedding if Sorbo's there.

You do not need the distraction, trust me on this. There is a better way to go about this and that is contact all of your guests and say, we're so glad that you guys are able to make it great. Do you have any personal connections to a famous person you could bring with you? If it's Kevin Sorbo. So that way, somebody else is responsible for it, but they're there. To answer the question concretely, which we so rarely are able to do, the one of you that is right is the one who says that you should cast a wide net.

Because we are some of the least famous people that you will meet. And we have gotten wedding invitations that we have not executed on. So I think that casting a wide net is probably good. Just like hope Cheech Marin is in the neighborhood. Less famous than us. Less famous than us is what I'm saying. And that's not a big circle of people. No, there's not a lot of people.

It's just us, Cheech Marin and Kevin Sorbo. The new Beatles. The new new monkeys. Justin can attest to this. I was sitting here and I accidentally clicked the refresh button on one of my yahoos. And that's a shame because I lost the name of the person that sent it in. Not only that, it's been deleted while we were sitting here. It's been moderated.

Do you remember the subject? It was John from Durham. Was the person who sent it in? I saw that much. But I didn't see the actual question. Shit birds. Can't believe this. I can't.

Do you remember the subject? Oh, oh, oh. Oh, Griffin is using Google's Spider Crawlers to view a cached version. Wow, you're going deep for this one. I did it. I recovered the data. You're in Alton Silk Road. John Durham.

A bunch of people actually sent this in. But the first, as far as I can tell, is John Durham. There has been, I know- Sorry about using your whole name, by the way, John Durham. Yeah, it's okay. He knows what he was getting into. I neglect people sometimes because I get a lot of multiple submissions of the same question. And I just pick one at random.

And last week I did that to poor Rachel Sperling twice. And I felt so bad about it. And it was just luck of the draw. It's just luck of the draw. Now I'm trying to come up with a more equitable solution, which is first in gets the name treatment. Got it. So John Durham or Dunham?

Fuck. Jeff Dunham. Jeff Dunham sent this one in. Thanks. I love all your racist puppets. It's by Yahoo Answers. Well, I'm not going to know who did it because the question's been deleted. So you should just be happy that I'm going to be able to read the question to you at all.

You selfish prick. Got him. My boyfriend, 2B, keeps on giving me the head lice. About two months ago, I found some head lice in my hair. The morning after someone I'm dating slept at my place. I did the treatment the same day. Two weeks later, slept together again. And I found living lice again.

It happened again yesterday. Then I got the treatment again. And today it was as well. That's four lices. That's four different lice events. What should I do? We're not close enough to talk about that. But I'm pretty sure he's the one giving them to me.

Tired of doing treatments and changing tons of sheets after we're sleeping. I thought about telling him I got them somehow. And in a responsible way, I'm telling him. But I'm afraid he'll be turned off by me. Please help me frowny face. This is turned off by you. He's the lice guy. This is the tale of the time.

We get this question every week where people say I'm sleeping with someone. But at what point is it time to say I know you have lice? You know what I mean? Like, yes, we will engage in intercourse and sleep in the same bed together. But we're not quite at the place where we're comfortable talking about each other's head lice. He's probably very embarrassed about it. Here's what drives me crazy is you've done four of these treatments. If he does one, he's probably good to go.

I don't think he is that embarrassed, Griffin. I'm saying maybe that's what he thinks he's bringing to the table. Listen, I don't have a great personality. I'm not very rich, but you know what I do have? Head full of lice. A billion little fingers to please you. We're going to share this together, baby. You and me in the lice.

My little sexual servant. Hey, baby. Oh, I'm going. My nanobots. I'm going to send out my nanobots to please your every crevice. Hey, baby, have you seen Ant-Man? Here's something way worse than that. Call me Lice Bryce.

Lice Bryce, Ant-Man, shitty brother. Oh, Lice Bryce. I only use web powers for sexual pleasure. Oh, God. Maybe you're maybe you're giving it to each other on alternating days. One of you does the treatment, gives the other one lice. That one doesn't does the treatment. Then you give him back the same lice.

The lice are just bouncing back and forth between your head. Is it weird that what I'm taking away from this question is how many times do you have to sleep together before you transition from boyfriend to be to boyfriend? You know, I think you sound a little judgmental talking about that. I've also never described anyone as my girlfriend to be. Well, Trav, I think if somebody gave me lice four times, I'd probably keep them in the maybe column

and keep them on the bench for a little while. I don't know, mom. He's great. I really have a great time with him. There is a lice thing. Bryce can take me to Pound Town like no other. There's just one issue. Mom?

Mom is he's got little nanobots. The Pound Town is out of control. The nanobots, I could take relief. So, honey, are we ready to take this thing the next level or what? That depends. Did you buy a box of red? Because if so, then yes. But until you treat your sexual army,

I think we're going to have to keep this in limbo. My boys? I'll never. Stop trying to change me, woman. That is true. You know, that's a bad sign. If someone can't accept you just the way you are, head lice small.

It says lice brace on my personalized license plate and lice brace I shall remain. My lice ins plate because you could call it that because the word is in there. No, that was too bad. That was too much. Standing tall on the wings of my dreams. That already had it in it.

That one just works as is. How's this episode been? We left a comment card on your table. If you could fill that out for us, that would be great. You can see a comment card appearing on your Zoom right now or your iPod. Just fill that out for us and mail it back if you don't mind. I thought it was pretty good.

We probably have some listeners with lice that didn't appreciate some of those jokes. Do you know that I have been sitting here for 20 minutes trying to remember the fucking theme song about who's the boss? And I can all keep coming up with this. Who's the boss? Who's the boss? Maybe.

Who's the boss? Who's the boss, baby? And then I would have to do a parody of, like, what? You can count on wings no matter where you fly. Oh, shit. Your baby's sleeping. Not anymore. Another baby nap ruined my way.

What's your earliest memory? I remember my uncle Griffin singing a parody. Well, my parody. I mean, he was singing the song My Two Dads, but he just worked the word wings in there because it's a name of another. Why would he do that? I don't know.

Do you have this shitty podcast? I think it was their last episode. Do you remember podcasts? No, I don't. I don't. I don't. Patent trolls shut them all down. And me and another electric burger.

I do remember when my... Because it's the future. OK, but in the future... OK, electric burgers. I shall grant you. But the psychiatrist just has electric burgers. I didn't realize we were out of psychiatrists. I thought it was the two people.

It was the two people. It's not the electric burger shack. I didn't bring you into the psychiatrist portion of the bit. Sorry. I thought I had to explain that. That was just in my mind's eye. Wouldn't you call them cybergers? Oh, man.

That's the point. No, cybergers is the place across the street that's put an electric burger out of business. They just have a much better name. Yeah. A little, you know, big business is shutting down mom and pop electric burgers stands all over the country. This is the plot of Good Burger 2024,

which is the sci-fi, like, post-apocalyptic remake. Any other ones? I feel like we haven't done family matters step by step, wings by wings. So there's another one to throw it up on the platform. They're brothers, identical brothers, but they're not. They walk alike, they talk alike, so not even if I like, what a crazy wings.

What ever happened to predict the bill of wings? The wings man, the winged boy, even winged wings. And in my opinionation, a wings, wings, wings, wings, wings, wings, wings, wings, wings, wings, wings, wings, wings. It's awesome. Do you guys like my... That's cool, cool, cool. I don't think we should do instrumental anymore.

I think it's harder. You're right. I don't think it reads as well. I just went for coach and I actually, I actually booted up. I booted up the joke coach parody with wings in it and then it didn't load in. The music didn't load in entirely up in my mouth. I keep that in my ram, apparently.

I keep the coach theme just ready to access. I wish that was a scene in Inside Out. Always thinking about the coach theme again. Grab the bobble. Grab it. Oh, shit, we dropped it. That's fine. No one's ever, no one has any reason to need that.

Should we stop doing the show? Did we start? Take us to the bridge. You're just fucking looking at me. Are you turnt on your milk juice? No, I'm trying to think of other sitcom themes. Okay, we're going to wrap it up. But first, before we do that, I want to say thanks again to MeUndies.

We're dedicated to offering the most comfortable underwear. And now he's not alive. That's not Hollywood bullshit. That's real. If you go to meundies.com slash my brother, you get 20% off your first order. You should already be wearing MeUndies now. Go.

So no one told you planes. We're going to fly this way. We could do two twings. You did five. We've got upcoming live shows. That you have to get. Yeah. Seattle and Vancouver.

You still have a chance to come see us at the end of August last weekend. If you go to bit.ly forward slash mb mb a m van or bit.ly forward slash mb. No, sorry. Bit.ly forward slash van mb mb a m or bit.ly forward slash mb mb a m Seattle. And it's not just us.

Saw bones will be there as well. It's going to be a full night of comedy. And if you play your cards right, you might need to see baby Charlie. And she's the city sister Riley. It's going to turn 15 when we're in Vancouver. It's going to get crazy in Canada. She can legally drink.

Legally drink. She can legally smoke weed. We've got another live show coming up in September. We can't give you all the details just yet. What? The details? The details.

We can't give you all the duck tails just yet. But it's going to be awesome. And if you play your cards right, no matter where in the country or the world even you are, you may be able to watch it. So we're working on that. We'll let you know once we have everything squared away. We're going to have a simultaneous iMacs satellite

presentation. Oh, that makes way more sense. I thought we'd just have people acting it out in every city. Wait, what did they say? OK, so hold on. Guys, stick with me here. In my opinionation. Wings.

Do you guys? That's nothing. The bit rate isn't high enough. This doesn't make any sense. Also, we put out our Totino's episode, and I hope to God you've already listened to it. Before the censors make us take it down for being too zesty. Yeah, that was our highest.

Did you guys know that was our highest episode download single episode download day ever? We got the Totino's bump. We got that Totino's bump. Thank you, Totino's. Thank you to John Rodrick and the Long Winters for using our theme song, It's a Departure. Off the album, I'm putting in the days to bed.

It's a terrific album that you should go listen to. And if you live in Seattle, you should look up his platform he's running for city council. I think like eighth district. Go check out his platform and then maybe think about voting for him in this election. You should also go check out all the other amazing Maxfun shows.

They're all incredible. That's going to do it for us. Griffin, do you have a final Yahoo! for us to take us to take us home? Something to talk about over the week. And then we'll answer it next week. Yes. Take this in your craw.

It's from Yadru, Drew Davenport. Thank you, Drew. It's by Yadru Answers user. Smacklyod16 who asks present ideas for someone who likes pizza, butts, and goats. I'm Justin McElroy. I'm Travis McElroy. I'm Griffin McElroy.

This has been My Brother, My Brother, May Kiss Your Dads. Gwear on the lips. You forget? Duck wings. There it is. Thank You My Brother! 멋imumfun.org Comedy and culture artist owned.

listener supported Hello, I'm Taco, the Elephant magician! We're all hot church here. The master of clerical magic! I'm Magnus Burnsides, the fighter! Did you guys like that? Yeah. Did you?

The listener like that? You were just swept up in a world of high fantasy and magic where anything can happen and anything is possible. Hi, I'm Griffin McRoy, Dungeon Master for the Adventure Zone, a new podcast on Maximum Fun, in which magic and mystery intertwine for a very erotically charged role-playing experience. You can catch it every other Thursday here on Maximum Fun.org for our iTunes. It's for Dungeons and Dragons, but with family.