My Brother, My Brother And Me - MBMBaM 461: All Rise!

Episode Date: May 28, 2019

On today’s episode, we spend a while getting PUMPED for all the GREAT new television shows we’ll get to watch this year, then introduce our backdoor pilot for a food delivery brand that can transform into a bazooka-wielding beast-monster. Hollywood, you know how to reach us. Suggested talking points: Pilot Season 2019, Cool Forklift Stunts, Three-Fight Deal, Beastmates, Dantown, War Gunk, Noise Funk

The McElroy brothers are not experts, and their advice should never be followed. Travis insists he's a sexpert, but if there's a degree on his wall, I haven't seen it. Also, this show isn't for kids, which I mentioned only so the babies out there will know how cool they are for listening. What's up, you cool baby? Hello everybody, and welcome to my brother, my brother, me and advice show for the modern era. I'm Harold, his brother, Justin McElroy. Hi, let me check my notes. I'm your middle is brother, Travis McElroy. And I'm your sweet baby, Griffin. Okay. Sorry guys, there seems to be some sort of lag on the Skype, and I stepped all over Travis's

dick on that one, and I'll own it. Is there a lag on the Skype, or are you just going? I know there's lag on the Skype, man. There's, okay, Griffin. Yeah, because I'm talking and I hear nothing. Okay, but the lag would make you talk soon. When I hear the words, they're after, they have finished by the time I speak. Yeah, lag doesn't work. No, that would mean it's time traveling lag that makes it sooner for you. Guys, I was playing quake when you were still quaking in your fucking diapers, okay? I know all about lag, so don't come to me and tell me about lag. Check your ping. Check your ping, you freaking nerds. This is going to be a tough record if I'm hearing everything you say before you finish saying it. And this is your middle is brother,

Travis McElroy, and welcome to Saba. And this is Griffin McElroy, he's 30 under 30. See, that time it was fucking perfect for me. That one was okay. It's possible I've become unstuck in time. Good one, Juice. Oh God. I didn't do any jokes yet on this one. Maybe just hit shuffle play on this episode and see how that works. Yeah, you know how that's a feature that's on most podcast apps? Well, they'll just play you 10 seconds at a time, just a random little sliver, random little cross section. So I guess it seems like we all had individual bits we were going to do for the opening. I was going to make a joke about wick watchers, just people who watch John Wick. And I was going to talk about what are you guys thinking is in the new John Wick movie because I

haven't seen it and what kind of fun stuff do you think he does? I think he goes to an arcade where he uses those special coins to play giant claw machine. Travis, you should see the new John Wick film is one thing I would tell you. Oh, okay. Well, I do plan. I have joined wick watchers. So my plan is to watch the new John Wick film, Justin. So in your canon, is wick watchers people who have seen it or people who are planning to seeing it? I think it's people who have to sort of ration how much they can see it. Correct. I just watched John Wick 2. That's four points. And I have a budget of six points today. So I can watch half of one if I want. And I think it because we only get like one John Wick a year now. And you don't want to burn out

on it too much. So you get six points a day. If you watch John Wick 1, that's five points. Yeah. And then if you watch the new John Wick, that's all your six. John Wick 2, you can watch that one. That's four points. And then you can watch. I mean, the fucking train knife fight with common alone is three points. That's three points right there. Yeah, that's three of the four points. There's a lot. What was your bit, Justin? Me? I didn't have one. My bit comes later. Oh, okay. I got a new bit. It's a new segment that I'm really excited about. Well, why not just do it now? Do you think? I think the time is right. And I think that it's been a while since we've done any funny stuff. All right. Excuse me, everybody. This is Justin McRoy. I just want to come in over

the radio here to inform you that it is pilot season. That's really good. Welcome to our new bit. My new bit. My new personal bit that we can do once a year. And it's called pilot season. Oh, good. And what it is is, this is an advice show for them. Do we say that? No, no, no. We just jumped right into the time. This is my brother, my brother, me. It's advice show for the modern era. Justin is me. Travis is the middle one. The little squeaky fellas griffin. And we do advice. But right now it's pilot season. And now we're going to just walk you through some of the shows that are coming your way. Did you just eat some salt water? No, that's the pilot voice. Sorry. Sorry. Today,

we're going to be going into some network dramas. And this is an interactive segment. I'm going to tell you the name of the series and sort of the log line, maybe even some of the stars of the film and the TV series, not a film. It's like a film, like short film, like several short films. Well, it's like one big fucking long film that they cut up into a bunch of little parts. It's up to you to decide. Anyway, so I'm going to give you the name of it, the characters, whatever. And I want you guys to tell me if one of three things are happening. One, it was ordered a series. Two, passed over. Three, some form of sent back to the woodshed for the workshop, the proverbial workshop for a little bit of retooling. Okay. Okay. First up is the ABC dramas.

Now, this is not all the ABC dramas that are coming, but it is some of the ABC dramas that were put up for pilot season. First is called Heart of Life. Logline. Logline. Inspired by John Mayer's song, this drama, this drama follows two sets of adult siblings from wildly different worlds who discovered they are related and must reassess everything they thought they knew about their shared father. As they explore the mystery of their separate childhoods, they'll experience the difficulty in overcoming the sins of the past and learn the joys of reuniting with lost family. Yeah. I think that one's a skip a rune. I think that one did not make it. That's an inspired by John Mayer's song. Yeah. I'm going to also guess a big old skip though on that one.

That's being redeveloped. They like some of it. Some of that's pretty good. We like the John Mayer stuff. Yeah, I should have followed my gut there because I liked some of that. Some of that is good. Some of that was real nice for me. It hit the ears in a real pleasing way. So this is the next one from ABC drama, the ABC drama stable. It's called A Hypnotist Love Story. The Hypnotist Love Story. The titles need some help. Maybe that's what needs reworking because Heart of Life. Is that what it was? Heart of Love? It's not. Heart of Life. Okay. Heart of Life. Hard to remember. The Hypnotist Love Story. Logline. After a string of failed romances, successful hypnotherapist Ellen is optimistic about her current boyfriend,

but then he reveals a disturbing truth. A stalker ex-girlfriend played by Heather Graham has been following him for years. Ellen finds herself intrigued and oddly thrilled by the stalker, entirely unaware that they've already met. So this is a drama? I missed the part. It's a drama about a super good hypnotist, the dates a guy who's got a stalker, but the hypnotist loves it until she doesn't. I'm confused as to how that's a series. It's based on a novel, I think. But that seems like less than one episode. How's that going to get six seasons in a movie? You tell me, I don't know. I mean, okay, we got Heather Graham attached, so that's a pickup. That's a pickup day one. Scrappy-Doo. I'm going to say it's a pass. That's a pass, correct Travis? That's a hard pass.

Next, series in the ABC drama stable is NYPD Blue. I shit you not. Wait. It follows Andy Sipwitz's son Theo as he tries to learn his, earn his detective shield and work in the 15th squad while investigating his father's murder. And that's from, and that's NYPD Blue. Now, should they have called it NYPD too? Of course they should have. That's obvious. And obviously anybody, what's happening with this show? They pick it up, baby. It's NYPD Blue. Yeah, I'm gonna say that's an obvious pickup. Obvious pickup. Being redeveloped. It's going to take another pass. It's NYPD Blue too. They're going to do it again. Triangle. Guys, what if the Bermuda Triangle was not a watery grave in the middle of the ocean, but a land lost in time that has trapped travelers over the course

of human history? When a family is shipwrecked in this strange land, they must band together with a group of like-minded inhabitants from throughout history to survive and somehow find a way home. It's series called Triangle. Now, everyone knows that the Bermuda Triangle is in the middle of the ocean, but what my book presupposes is, maybe it isn't. I'm going to say that's a going to series because I would like to watch it. I would watch that very bad. So I know you nasty boys would watch it. It is incontention for mid-season consideration. Haven't made a decision on this one yet, but ABC, you pounce, or I'm going to kickstart it for myself. Hey, big news. The McAvoy brothers have started their own major television network so that we can pick up Triangle.

It's called Bebo, and it's got all the alt-comedy you crave and Triangle poached from ABC this fall. Fuck them. We're going to go over to CBS, and CBS is where the old people play, and that's where they like to get nasty and do their old stuff with none of the young people watching. No cell phones allowed over at CBS. That's what it's called. No cell phones allowed. So we're going to get nasty over there to find the most boring series available. Tommy is the first one. When a former high-ranking NYPD officer played by Ed Falco becomes the first female chief of police for Los Angeles, she uses her unflinching honesty and hardball tactics to navigate the social, political, and national security issues that converge within forcing the law. Yeah, that's a cop show. I've

heard of that. A cop show with the Ed Falco. It's called Tommy, but it was formerly known as Nancy. So I guess they just decided to call it something different on this one. Then I don't think they're done fixing this one up. I think it's back in the woodshed. I'm going to say a pickup. Are you at the absolutely a pickup, Travis? God, your instincts are so good. Of course, Ed Falco. Of course. Hard nose cop. Yeah. Hard nose cop turn judge for the olds. They'll love it. All rise. Formerly courthouse follows the dedicated chaotic. Formerly what? Former all rise is the name of it now. Not Paul Reiser. That's the difference here. All rise. Okay. Formerly courthouse. Are we still talking about the show? Is that the name of the stop? No. Is it

Colin? Formerly courthouse? No. The name of the thing used to be courthouse now. Courthouse, right. Okay. It follows the dedicated chaotic hopeful and sometimes absurd lives of the judges, assistant district attorneys and public defenders as they work with bailiffs, clerks, cops, and jurors to bring justice to the people of Los Angeles. Sexy. I started playing Pokemon Go in the middle of that description. It was so fucking boring. Well, no, that's why they changed it all right. Cause courthouse. Ooh, but all rise makes it sound like boners. It used to be called courthouse. Courthouse, I guess. Oh, that's great. Oh man, we need more shows named after the buildings that they're in. What about all these young, sexy judges and district attorneys and court stenographers?

What's happening with this show? What's happened with this show on CBS drama? I'm going to say that's a pickup, Justin. Now I don't think CBS gives a shit. That's a pickup. That is a pickup. You'll be able to watch that on TV. Damn. Do you understand though that Tommy is about the first female chief of police for Los Angeles and all rise is about the district attorneys and judges and public defenders and clerks and cops in Los Angeles. Like it's literally starting. Yes. Too simultaneous. The sprint takes on the legal system in Los Angeles. This is our LAPD. See you. Yeah, but the macro brothers get six episodes. That's what they get. They get six out of them. I'm not better. I'm just saying there's a lot of TV money flowing around here and then you

maybe kick us some. Okay. So those are CBS shows. I just read you to the most boring things I've ever had to read on this podcast, both ordered a series. The Republic of Sarah, a small New Hampshire town is thrust onto the world stage with the discovery of a valuable resource within its borders compels the residents to declare themselves an independent nation, setting the unlikely young mayor and her cabinet of inexperienced locals on the path to running a brand new country, the Republic of Sarah. What the fuck? Holy shit. Sedition. Yes. But it's fun. Is it a drama? Is this is still a drama? Or is it a comedy? Is it still the drama section in this one? Oh, maybe more of a dramedy. Oh, this is a drama. I mean, it's a short show. The fucking full force

of the military rolls over. I'm just brought down on them. Yeah, it's like that. We decided to cede and keep this for ourselves. No, you didn't. Oh, okay. It's like under the dome, but without the dome. So the military is just like, I guess we'll kill all of you then? Weird. We'll just come and take what we want. What's happened with this series, though, that sounds so cool and fun? I'm going to say it's a pass, Justin. I think they can fix this up. I like some of the stuff in there. It's a hard pass. It's too cool. Oh my god. Why is Travis so fucking good at this? Travis is fucking great at this. Now, here's the one that this was the, I was casually perusing this article on, I don't know, Hollywood reporter, whatever it was. And this is the one that made

me decide that we should probably talk about these. A San Francisco homicide detective is, this is called alive, and I'll tell you what it used to be called after. A San Francisco homicide detective is mysteriously brought back to life after being killed in the line of duty. But as he resumes his own life and he and his wife realize he isn't the same person he used to be, they zero in on the strange man behind his resurrection. What is his name? Travis, what's his name? Lazarus. No, no. What's the name of the strange man behind his resurrection? It's Dr. Victor Frankenstein. It says here, Ryan Philippi stars in alive, formally called fucking Frankenstein, the cop shell. Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. Hold up.

Yeah, hold up. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Cop. Ryan Philippi as Frankenstein's monster. Somebody killed Ryan Philippi, right? Then he, oh no, he's back, but he's different than he used to be and he realizes it, I guess. Oh, who did this? Oh, it was me. Dr. Frankenstein, a real-life doctor. Oh my goodness. Yeah, that's a, wow, that's a big pickup. Wow, holy shit. I'm going to have to see if that's going back to the old woodshed. No, it's a pass because it sounds fucking awesome and it's a pass and they pass on that. They had that. They said, nope, this one's a pass. This one's too good for us. We don't deserve it. That's from the people who brought you elementary. They wanted to get back to the well and they bring you fucking, oh Jesus Christ. All right,

eventually we got to start getting back to our core competencies. That is the end of the ones that I have. That is ABC and CBS. There are many more net, just their dramas. There are many more networks to go over, but those are the two that I have for you right now. They're all buck. I mean, they're all so wild. Yeah. They had a show, Leslie Odom and Katie Segal as priests that are working together. Oh my God. That's a pass. What? That's a pass? That's a pass. I was hooked off that one line. I thought of one line. I wanted it. I know. I know. Oh, sorry. Katie Segal had a separate show, but still, that one's called Nana. That one's called Nana. That might have been the issue. That may have been the problem is it was called Nana. That's it. I've had it with you. Hello,

brothers. Hi. I work as a forklift. Hi. Oh, Travis, they can't. It's just one way. Hello, brothers. I work as a forklift driver in a small warehouse for a local company that sells books on the internet. Good read. Our company is big on safety and urges any employee who deserves unsafe behavior to report it immediately. A few days ago, I observed one of my managers who also happens to be our company's safety officer hauling ass through the warehouse on a forklift and whip around blind corners like there was tomorrow. Was this some sort of test to see if I would report him or did I do the right thing and not being a narc? That's from the forklift and the furious in Utah. Was, I mean, did he crash? Did he crash or hit somebody? It doesn't sound

like it. I mean, presumably that would have been included in the question, but you know how our listeners are. I would have to think that if, like, and the manager killed three people, that would probably be a salient detail. And he's dead today and so am I. I just think that if he didn't crash or run into somebody, he sure did drive pretty safely, I think, and you have nothing to complain about. You know what I mean? Right. The NASCAR guys, they drive freaking fast and they spin around one big track and they bump into each other and it's cool and that's the only race that matters anymore because in horses, if you bump, it's ruined, but they are safe about it. You know what I mean? I feel like maybe he was trying to get really hands on to say, like, in the future,

I want to be able to tell people that this is unsafe with a straight face. I need to know for myself that this is unsafe. Oh, do you think someone to do it and see if I get hurt? I think the manager then, like, finished whatever obstacle course he had set up and was like, oh, wait, I didn't kill anybody. Maybe this is safe. It's, this is safe. I shouldn't. This is safe. It's fine. I didn't want this fine. I've been lying to people this whole time telling me it wasn't safe, but look at me. I'm fine. I, hey guys, come over here and tear ass in these beautiful, beautiful babies. I'm so sorry. Hey, if I get everybody in the break room, I need you all to go out there and tear some fucking ass in the far glass because I was wrong this whole time. I don't think that's the

verbiage of the question. Hey, hey, hey, John, is your, didn't you say your nephew's good at painting flames? I haven't come in here and put some fucking flames on these sons of bitches and let's let's tear some ass and then stop bragging about your son and his skills in the workplace. Or, or, you know what, put up or show up, John. It's time. It's time for your son, wreck it to come in here and paint some flames and then, and then we'll all race. I just think if you don't get her or dead, then the thing you did was safe. I have never broken a bone in my body or been killed. And so everything I've ever done in my life, including lying to a Robert at good point about GameStop's PlayStation three inventory was really safe. Yep. I think

it's perfectly safe. I think you, you always did the right thing and not narking. I would say nobody likes a narc, right? Well, I bet police do. Police probably like narks. Probably judges do. Look, I would say probably anybody in the LAPD extended universe likes narks. CIs, they call them. CIs. I know a little bit of the lingo going in. So I watched courthouse and Tommy. So and all rise and Nancy. So I know a lot. All rise sounds like the name of a show about a boyband that's also judges during the day. That's a good, see, that's a good show. That's a good name for a boyband though. Yeah. All rise for these cute guys. That's what it would say on the poster. A judge themed, a judge themed boyband. A judge themed boyband with the wigs and what? Oh,

they would all be in Bearster's wigs and just tiny shorts. Only one of them though, right? Like we got to set them apart. So there's the Bearster wig one. There's the, there's Judge Lansito is just in it. He is one of them. There's, I mean, there's Judge Reinhold is like their manager. Yeah. He's the manager and he's always trying to get into the group. And they're like, no judge, you're not a real judge. We all went to law school for many, many years. We are judge Nelson's there and he's like, I'm never changing my name ever. I love you boys. I'm never changing this name. I'm never added the gene no matter how many times you ask. Come on, but we could be brothers. No judge. That's not how it works. What if they have a song called I'm going to supremely court you?

Or what about I want to hold you parentheses in contempt in parentheses? That's good. Thank you. I like it. I like a sexy title where the parentheticals make it less. I love that. Objection, get naked. This is a very sexually aggressive boyband. That's typically not their style. They're third album once they're all their four days and try to get the magic. I object to you not liking me. Oh no. That's a cool song. I have a yahoo here. It's illegal for you to not marry me today. Wait, what? Whoa. You're just saying, I mean. That's romantic. Mike sent this in. Thanks, Mike. It's yahoo answers user Carlos who asks, I missed a fight at school and I can't get them to fight again. What do I do? The one day I'm sick

and had to miss school. My friend got in a fight. I tried everything to get them to fight again. I made a fake Facebook account pretending to be the guy he fought and started sending him messages talking. I'm assuming it says shit. I tried bringing up the fight every day at school tried spreading rumors about the other person talking shit. Still, no matter what I do, they won't fight again. It's bullshit. Didn't bleep this one yahoo weird that I didn't get to see it in person. I only got to see the video. What? Wait, what a twist right there at the end. Oh, I like the book is better. I don't get to smell the blood and sweat. They missed the big fight and I only saw one fight and it was in high school

and somebody had to go to the to see the doctor who lives in the hospital because of how bad it was and I didn't I wouldn't say that I love I liked it. I wouldn't say that I would have been sad if I missed it or maybe it's good that I did see it because I was so viscerally horrified by the fight that I have gone out of my way to live a life that is essentially fight free. My first day of high school, the first day I was all stars in my eyes just so young. There was like an eight person fight that like teachers had to break up and wade into in the middle and like it was horrifying and it kind of feels almost like it was so dramatic that if you told me now, hey, big twist, it had been staged by the teachers as like part of a scared straight

kind of thing. I would have believed you. We need to get them fighting again though for this one. Yeah, you got to assign kids to a three fight deal minimum. You want to give them the Chris Evans package. You want them to be fighting whenever and wherever you say for the next decade. You got to lock them in early. Don't just let them go swinging because then they have all the power. Yes. Also, also bring up to your friend. Like you've been going the indirect route. I think you go directly to your friend and say, we need some kind of character arc here. Like whoever lost needs a redemption story. That's act two. And then maybe act three is like once and for all, right? Like you need to go to whoever lost and convince them that they need to have their like Rocky two, right?

Where they come back and fight. And then I think convince them to work together to fight, I don't know, a Russian or something. That seems like Rocky three, if I remember correctly. I think you got to find out what both of them like and then leave a trail of each thing leading each person to one spot and then hope that the fight will kind of just happen once they are with each other. Like if your friends into three musketeers and the other one is into like stocks and bonds. Or yeah, stocks and bonds, camel, cigarettes. You just leave a little line of them and they'll follow it like a hungry ant. So maybe do that. Maybe like steal one of their identities and ruin their credit and blame it on the other one.

Stink bomb. Or stink bomb. One of those two. I would say one of those two things would make me want to punch someone. Stealing a lunch. That would actually, I wouldn't mind. Justin, help us make these kids fight. I don't want to do that. Justin, help us make the kids fight. Play with me. I think you could wear a disguise and dress like one of the kids. See, it's fun when you start playing, isn't it? I'm having a better time. Now that I've said this far, I'm going to say also mustache and sunglasses and go fight the other kid and be like, I'll have, I'll be waiting for my revenge

over on the stairs. I've made myself sad because I thought about an actual, I don't know, helpful answer for Yahoo and I'm worried about that. I don't like it, but you could just start saying, I heard, you know, blank and blank, we're going to fight after school today and just spread that room around until they can't not fight. Now that's some rough playing, Trav. I know I wanted you to play with me, but you're rough house and a little rough. I know this is what I'm saying. I know we do jokes. We do jokes here, Trav. We do jokes. I know. I don't know how I feel about being an effective fixer for this horrible Yahoo Answers person. You do the thing where you stand in between the two of them,

which is going to be some tricky planning to get that to happen. And then you say, you know, it's one of them like, hey, your mama's feet stink. And when they go to punch you in the face, you duck and they punch the other one and then they will keep doing that. This ties in really well with the next regular question. You could do it. I'm not done. You could do a thing where you run up behind one of them and you stick your arms through their armpits and you punch the other person like they're a muppet and then they'll think it's their arms. What about when the, when the kid opens his locker, a bunch of fucking marbles fall out? Nice. Cause you've been slowly putting marbles in there

every day and went behind all the marbles. There's a sign that says this one was Kevin. Then yeah. And a picture of Kevin Klein. And so no, I wouldn't think that I was thinking that maybe the kid is trying to get into a fight with his name, Kevin, not, not beloved actor, a stage and screen Kevin Klein. Maybe the kid is Kevin Klein. I had a friend named Kevin. Maybe Kevin Klein went back to like 23 jump Stephen. Kevin Klein. Kevin Klein. Justin. There was a Kevin Klein in my middle school. Was it really? Yeah. And it, as far as I know, it's not the same person. That's cool. That's really cool. It was cool. That's badass, dude. You've said so much fucking

trash over the years, Travis, and you never said the words, I went to school with a kid named Kevin Klein and you said so much other garbage where you could have been saying that. That's the coolest thing you've ever said. I know it just, it wasn't germane before now. And I didn't want to burn it. I had one chance. That's how you went to school with a kid named germane too. Now I'm freaking out. Holy shit. Was it spelled the same or was it Kevin with a C? Exactly the same. Yeah, dude. Damn. That kicks ass. That's so cool. Yeah. It was cool. Did he like, did he act or do any other cool shit like that? Did he saw a goldfish or what's up? You know, he did. I just remember him living his best life and being a good example. Cool, man. Yeah, dude.

For sure. For sure, for sure, for sure. Don't make the kids fight. Kids shouldn't fight. Okay. And with that, we'll go to the monies. Hey, it can be harder to find the exact right person for your business and that's a confusing path to walk. With lots of dead ends and people along the way, they'll try to sell you watches from a coat, but you don't need to stop with them or any other of the illusions that try to lure you into danger or anything. Uh-oh. Here comes a, it's a, now there's a big spider and he's standing before a branch in the forest path and he's, he can talk. If you go down that path, they're going to confront your shadow self and you'll have to destroy it. Go right and you'll find a guide

hunched under a waterfall and that guide is Zip Recruiter. It's me, Zip Recruiter. Hey, Zip, I heard that you send my job to over a hundred of the web's leading job boards. That's true. Do you stop there? I don't stop there. I have powerful matching technology. Me, Zip Recruiter scans thousands of resumes. Oh, no. Oh, shit. It's me, Gobblegub. I eat resumes. I'll kill you, Gobblegub. I said if you ever showed your goddamn face around here, I'd kill you. No. Fuck you, Gobblegub. The crystalline sword, it's emerging from your chest, Zip Recruiter. I'm taking the sword I'm stabbing, Gobblegub. My jelly. He's dying. Thank you, Zip Recruiter, for your chest sword. Yes, I am unstoppable. In fact, I'm so effective that four out of five

employers who post on Zip Recruiter get a quality candidate through the site within the first day. I'm not yet gone. Gobblegub? Justin, give me just one second. I've got to go murder this fool. Wait, the head of Zip Recruiter? Oh, my brother. Gobblegub, Gobblegub. I see he says his own name like a Pokemon. How can people harness these incredible surfaces, Zip? I already said the link really good as Gobblegub. Yeah, but there's it didn't make any narrative sense for you to fucking say that. I'll tell you, hey, ZipRecruiter.com slash my brother. That's ZipRecruiter.com slash my brother. Zip Recruiter, I'm the smartest way to hire. Hey, guys, it's me, Postmates. Do you need some food or whatever delivered? Call up me, Postmates.

Now you guys do one of them. Sucks ass. Yours sucks. Ours was so cool. Ours had a rage reaction behind it. I've gone beast form. Postmates has a beast form? Postmates has an engaged beast form. Activate. Postmates is a bunch of people that can turn into moped and arm bazookas. Those arm bazookas can shoot red wine to you or sushi or, I don't know, ibuprofen because you ate too much red wine and sushi. Hey guys, it's me. I'm regular Postmates again and I do personal food delivery, grocery, whatever the fuck you want delivered. I can get it there to you 24 seven. You don't have to take any more trips. Hold on, my beast gym is

glowing. Can one of you guys finish? No. Beastmates. You don't have to take trips to the store. You can download the app for iOS or Android for free, browse local restaurants and businesses and track your delivery. I can track it with my powerful wolf nose. They're the largest on-demand network in the known universe with more than 25,000 partner merchants. So for a limited time, I'm giving our listeners $100 of free delivery credit for your first seven days. To start your free deliveries, download the app and use the code mybrother. That's my brother all one word for $100 of free delivery credit for your first seven days when you ping-pong. Oh, come on, I'm so When you download the Postmates app, anything you need, anytime you need it, postmate it.

Download Postmates and save with code mybrother all one way. You know, a lot of shows brag about being ad-free, but not a lot are willing to put in the work it takes to get there to really make that an absolute reality. We are working hard every episode to drive advertisers away. This is the only way we know to go ad-free, and that's to systematically alienate everybody who want to give us money. But do go. Those sponsors. They're great. They're great. We have gotten so nasty with everybody who gives us money and nobody ever gives us shit. So please frequent their businesses because they keep letting us do it. Nobody's ever told us to stop doing it. I don't know. Maybe eventually somebody will get wise. Beastmates flip my chair

and I lost all my settings. To give you those again, ziprecruiter.com slash mybrother and Postmates is the app and then use the code mybrother to save. If you could just do that this week. And don't mention, please don't mention these ads. That'd be great. No, do me. I mean, say these are effective. This is the future of advertising. This is how it should be. Hey, James. Hey, Neke. What are we doing, girl? We are inviting the awesome listeners of Maximum Fun to join us at Minority Corner. Ooh, fun. But you know how we go on Tangent City. We're the joint mayors. We're not going to do that, okay? Stoops focused. Okay, so Minority Corner is where you can all come and get your pop culture takes. Plus, social commentary, news, and TV movie reactions

like Avengers Endgame. No spoilers here. Ooh, snap. Sometimes we dig into the vaults and we review and recap those movies you missed. That's you, Halle Berry's kidnapped. I love how she always gives 1000%. Like Beyonce. Did you see homecoming on Netflix? She was burning it down like the mother of dragons. Have you seen the latest Game of Thrones? So good. Only thing missing, more black people. What do you think about Mayor Pete? Wait a minute, James. We went on a tangent. Yes. I will join us every Friday for more Tangents on Maximum Fun. I was recently invited to a birthday party for a good friend of mine. On the invitation, there was a little note that said, your presence is our present. While this would normally wouldn't

be an issue, as it takes away the burden of wondering what to get them. This particular person's invite poses a problem. The last time I went to a party of theirs, a Christmas party, where they put your presence is our present on the invite, literally everyone but me brought a Christmas gift to the host. What do I do? Should I ignore the note and buy them a gift they might like? Or should I buy by the note and risk being the only person to show up empty-handed and look like a total jackass? Any advice at all would be appreciated. That's from Puzzled Party Goer. Get a gift. People like presents. Next question. I work in an office in downtown Manhattan that's situated between several populous tourist attractions. Wow. Wow. I said populous. Yeah.

They are. I think you also said Dantown, Manhattan. And that's why we call it Dantown. New on CBS. It's Dantown. Downtown Julie Brown is back in Murphy Brown's Dantown. I work in an office in Dantown Manhattan that is situated between several popular tourist attractions, the Stock Exchange, World Trade Center, Federal Hall, etc. Whenever I leave my office for lunch, the area is flooded with tourists taking photos. I feel really guilty when I walk in front of a camera and inadvertently ruin a picture, but it is virtually impossible to avoid doing so. How can I ensure that I don't ruin the photo of a nice family visiting the big city while simply trying to eat my burrito? Is there a way that my unintentional photobombing could improve their vacation?

And that's from Brian. And I will quickly dispel Brian of the last one and that is to say no. That will not improve anything. What if Brian walks around dressed as Iron Man? I was, Travis, I was literally going to say Iron Man. Iron Man was even the one I was going to say, dude. Yeah, dude. Fuck yeah. Yeah. And it doesn't even need to be an especially good Iron Man costume. No, I think if it's a little blurry, maybe the costume is blurry, you know, it's like, oh, he's moving so fast. Iron Man, Pikachu. So many of these folks that people would love to see in their pictures because it's fun to have a picture with them. That's one really good way. I mean, just have a nice smile always when you're walking to get your lunch,

which you should be happy anyway, because it's burrito time. I would say whenever I take a picture in a busy area, my greatest fear in all my life in that moment is that I am impeding someone's progress as they try to walk to their location. So I think I'd prefer the person just truck on three. Right. I'll snap another pic. Don't linger. I have two children under five that I'm trying to simultaneously get to look at the little glass circle on my phone. So statistically speaking, you're not ruining anything. Right. I'm going to delete this picture. No question. Oh, you go back and delete bad ones. Oh, you're doing so much better than I am. If I be fit, I want a pristine camera roll in there, baby. I want him to tuck in to a real,

I want them to say it. Justin had a hidden knack for being a great, great photographer, and we never knew and we never appreciated like so many other great things about him. We did not appreciate this fully while he was with us. I miss him so bad. What's that noise from up in the rafters? Ceiling crashes down. It's me. What? I faked my death. I did. Now you are really dead because you fell from the rafters. I am actually dead this time. No faking. I wake up. It was all a dream. It wasn't. You crashed through the rafters of your own bedroom ceiling. What? Yes. What? I think it's all about making stories. That's why people take photos as for stories. So if you can do something to accentuate the story of their New York adventure,

like do cartwheels the whole way to the burrito, and they'll be like, remember the cartwheels guy? Let me pitch this a little less physically demanding. As you walk by, put your phone to your ear and say, what's that, Mr. Mayor? The asteroid's on its way. I'll be right there. As you walk by and then they're like, whoa, wait, what just happened? Is that person some sort of superhero or scientist or a super scientist or a super saiyan? And you just keep walking. Travis makes a good point. Goku is another character you could just up as. So that would be easy. You could, this would be a fun story. Remember that time we were taking a picture in front of the stock exchange and a person walked by us and just cropped us the heck out of us as

they went? Just ripped a big fart and they kept going. And you could do that to all of them. You just have to really open up down there. Open up all the vents. Yeah. And then blast off. Because I'll tell you, you're not going to have much trouble coming back after you eat one of these Chipotle burritos. I'll tell you what, when I eat one of those, it gives me a lot of stomach distress. So I assume it's the same for you. Yeah, keep going. Hey, do you remember when we went to New York and Iron Man farted on us? We were in Dantown Manhattan and Iron Man farted on me and our children and grandma. Y'all want a yahoo? How about another question? How about a yahoo? Oh, damn. I was about to ask you for that. That's what I meant. A yahoo question. Do you all

want a yahoo? No. Yes, please. Here's one that was sent in by Esther. Thanks Esther. It's from an anonymous yahoo answers user. I'm going to call, uh, Bubby asks, did soldiers in the American Revolution ever take off their shirts slash coats off during battles? They must have gotten all sweaty and hot fighting in the heat all day in those heavy garments. They must have gotten, oh, hot and sweaty, dirty stink. Get the stink of the arms in the butt and the grundle from the hot fighting in the heat all day in those heavy garments, especially the red coats. Or was it against the rules? This fall on CBS, red coats, no coats. Starring. What is the question? These boys have done war so much that they have a

right powerful stink in between their legs and under their arms. I'm going to say, let's see, who's in this? Joshua Jackson's in it. Uh, Josh Jackson's in it. Christopher Jackson's in it. Josh Molina's in it. What's the question? Did they ever take off their shirts and coats during the battles in the American Revolution? Uh, they couldn't figure out how to. There's a lot of buttons. I'll give you that. That's how every, if you've ever, I know it's a different war, but if you've ever seen civil war reactors, the last, the last thing they do at everyone is like the general or whatever it's like, and now men, let's all shower together and they all go, they all go shower together and frog nude in a river. So my kids can't go to those things. Can you imagine,

man? I'm imagining it now and it's pretty good. The worst part of being in war has got to be the fact that you can't take your clothes off even when you get, you know, a gunky stink down any, any witch wear. And I don't know why. Well, because it was, it's dangerous. It's not like it's armor grip impacted. Like you would, you would never hear in like the revolutionary war, like, ah, he would have died if it weren't for that thin layer of material. They don't know if you're a blue one or red one. Yes, exactly. The teams, what if you, imagine you're American Revolutionary, you get caught by a bunch of Brits, right? All you got to do is strip off your shirt and be like, go blimey gents, don't you miss the

teams biscuits? And then they shoot you because it was a bad accident. But still, the idea, you understand, of course. You have a Harley-Davidson tattoo. So they know and they kill you right there. Yeah. What I'm saying is you get around the future. Yes. I want to do one more question, Justin. I've got just the one for you. It's the next one. Okay. My housemate's dad is going to be crashing in our house for a few days while my housemate... Oh, fuck yeah, Phillip! Phillip's got, that dude rules. Philip's dad, Philip's dad is coming. A housemate's dad is going to be crashing in our house for a few days while my housemate is in Mexico. He's visited it a couple of times, so we know him okay. Here's the thing. This man has recently gotten into making DIY music videos

for himself. That's the new sound I make when I get so excited that I can jump up and ask us to get feedback. Literally had us sit down as a house, watch the music video with him, and ask us to go around and be honest about what we thought. Thankfully, the music video wasn't terrible. Nice. But it's clearly DIY, mostly shots of his face at different angles, wearing sunglasses and singing some police guitar. I don't know how you make what you just described not terrible, but I want to see it so bad. It's been about six months, so there's a chance he'll do it again. He's been working on a full-length album, and we won't have his daughter there as a buffer to gauge how much honest feedback to give this man. Brothers, what would you do if your friend's dad, who you didn't know super well,

asked for feedback on his music video? That's from Nervous About Notes in Seattle. There are so many fucking things. Here's the wildest part is that the dad is a truth for you to know. The dad is just coming for this because his daughter, she ain't there. He's not visiting his little schnookums. He's there to see if he's given too much guitar face and if he needs to turn up the trap. To answer your question of like what we would do in this situation, I know this is kind of a cop out. I wouldn't allow myself to get into a situation like this. If I found out one of my friend's dad's makes amateur music videos and has any like desire for human feedback, I would have to just break up with that friend immediately, publicly on Facebook,

just to avoid the exact situation you're in right now. But I appreciate that you're in it. I like that very much. I actually think I might be excited to be a part of this situation because you said it wasn't bad. Maybe this one's better. Maybe the next one's going to be even better. And what if he integrated some of your feedback from last time? He's like, remember when you said my shirt was too short and then it should cover all my torso? Well, good news. This one's down on my knees. Let's go. Remember when you said I should include more claymation? Well, I had my friend Peter Gabriel help me and it gets pretty weird. I put a second mortgage on the house to put more in there. And also, yeah, I am wearing my jeans backwards. That's a new thing. I got this

new thing in this video and it's where I make out with my wife on a big beanbag chair. And we do that for like one of the choruses. So tell me what you think of that. What do you think about that? It's deep kissing. Yeah, it's all real folks. That's all me. I'm still playing the guitar too. I'm still rocking my axe too while I'm tongue deep. And then there's a scene where I'm just throwing a couch top of a cliff. It's weird. It's a little avant-garde. Let me know what you think. There's a scene where I put a bunch of rubber bands around a watermel until it explodes. Pretty fucking cool. Hey, rate my delts in this next shot. Not this one. Not this one. Check out my delts in this next shot. Wait. Hold on. Fuck, I missed it. Hey, rewind it and check out my delts

in that one. I feel like they're looking pretty good. Here. Okay. Question asked her. Here's your get out of jail free card. You're going to say, listen, there's a lot to pros there. There's a lot to examine here. I'm going to need some time with this. I will get back to you. And then just like a couple of days later, email like, I think it's fantastic. Keep up the good work. And then you're out. You're clear. What if he said, I want you guys to watch the next video and you just throw a ball peen hammer through your TV. Yeah. Oh, sorry, man. I dropped all my slime on the VCR. So I can't because I slimed it. I'm sorry. We don't have a VCR. Well, it's not. It's not on video today. What then? How could I watch it? Yeah. How am I supposed to watch it,

Darryl? You snatched your TV and he's like, it's on this thumb drive. And you're like, Goddamn it. I only, my computer only does USB G. That's the new state. It's a new standard. Oh, you know, I've never been able to get my computer to play music videos. That would be my only feedback is, can I be in the next one? Because I feel like I could really smolder and pretend to play drums. Hell yeah. If I could pretend to play a musical instrument, please let me be in that music video. Y'all, his daughter's not even going to be there. That's the thing that keeps fucking me up is his daughter's not going to be there. So Phillip's just like chilling. He's just hanging in Seattle for the grunge scene, I guess. I'm scared because I want to watch it, but I don't want to ask you

to curse it because I don't want to blow up his spot. But I want to see it, not to make fun of it, not to make fun of it. No, it's just like, fill this like, now it's all your blanket thing. It's like sitting, hearing half the chorus of walking on broken glass and you're like, oh my God, please just someone play this song so I can move on with my life. It's all you want to hear. Especially since you are writing into us saying like, you feel awkward about this and you're afraid you're going to have to do it again. But you also described the video as not that bad, which means probably to me, the video will seem amazing because I don't have any caveats to it. So if you are willing to sort of endorse it, then think of how good it will be for me.

I'm imagining going out of town and then our dad goes to stay at one of my friend's houses here in Austin. And then after being there a couple of days and just chilling and playing it cool, he tells my friends, I want you guys to give me some feedback on my parkour and then he starts doing parkour all around the house. God, that'd be awesome. That's essentially what we're dealing with here. Oh, shit, I have a theory. The reason Philip dad is coming while the daughter's out of town is after the last time the daughter said like, Hey, dad, please don't show your music videos to my friends anymore. And Philip dad was like, Oh, okay, yeah, yeah, yeah, you got it. And then daughter was like, Hey, Philip dad, I'm going to Mexico for a few days. Oh, you are, huh? Okay,

have fun. And this is the loophole. Philip dad's going to get on there and show them the new music video that new heat that he's been working on with a really cool producer who also happens to be his manager. Yeah, and this one's too hot for TV. Most definitely. Don't give up on this daddy. Do not give up on this daddy. I watched a star is born. Yes, you could be his Bradley Cooper. And that worked out really great for all of them. Bradley Cooper. Yep. Yeah, I guess. Yep. I mean, you fucking said it. So daddy Gaga. Fuck, man. Should we do something else? Like a different show? Yeah, like a different career. Music. We could do music. Is it too late to do music? Yeah, I got like my foot in the door there,

I feel like we should do music videos. Well, no, no, no, I want to start a real band with you guys. Yeah. Okay, get in some real noise shit. We could start a boy band with all judges. That's not a good call. We can't just do a callback joke because it still feels like we're podcasters when you said that. Okay. And now Travis, I do noise funk with your brother, Justin, and I'm giving you my hand. And I'm saying, do you want to join us on this new ship? Yes. What do you bring to the table? I could do like spoken word of the noise funk. Yeah, you can. Yeah. So I guess this is our last episode. Well, it's our last, we're going to keep the feed going, but we're going to mostly, it's from this point on, it's mostly going to be noise funk.

Okay. All right. Well, this isn't where I saw today headed, but you know, sometimes you just got to let go and let God, which is also going to be the name of our band. It's the new one. It's a Christian. It's a Christian noise funk band. And it's sort of a sound experience that you're going to get on a weekly basis on our RSS feed. And I should also say our goal is to not, is not to make pleasurable music. It's just for it to make honest music. It'll be pleasurable to the ears of our Lord. Well, yeah. Dude loves noise funk. Love that. I think you need to call your housemate and tell her to come home right now. Come protect me from your dad. This is not my problem, Patricia. Get the fuck back here.

Listen, do you remember you called me because like I left the dirty dishes and the sink too long and you asked me to take care of it. Okay, cool. I'm going to do the same thing about your dad. Okay. Thank you very much. You got to call your dad in to come help you. Welcome to daddy's home three, in which John Lithgow makes some music videos, I guess. And we have to call in another dad, let's say Joe Montaigne. Joe Montaigne has got to come and stop John Lithgow from making music videos. Do you think that'll go to series? Daddy's home to series based on the movies. I'm going to take it back to the woodshed. I want to work on it a little bit more. Okay. I don't even think you're, I don't even think this is real trap. I don't

even think you're, I don't even think this is a real show. I thought John Montaigne is sitting right here next to you. You're not a TV producer. So I don't think this is real. Oh, I'm sorry. I'm not, I'm not, I'm not a TV producer. I'm not a TV producer. It feels like a joke. Joe, Joe, I'm sorry. Yeah, you can go. I'm sorry. Justin, he's not even talking to Joe. He is. He's crying. You make Joe Montaigne cry. He can't cry. I can't even follow this bit anymore. Joe Montaigne is in Cincinnati at my house. He and I have been- So Prodigal Son revolves around Malcolm Bright, the son of a notorious serial killer named the surgeon who understands how killers think. The criminal psychologist uses his skills to help the NYPD

solve crimes and stop killers while balancing his manipulative mother and annoyingly normal sister and a homicidal father still looking to bond with his prodigal son. The drama is described as a fresh take on the crime franchise with a darkly comedic tone. Yeah. Yeah, that one's got Lou Diamond Phillips and Michael Sheen in it. Whoa, really? That's a pickup, my dude. Do you think that one's a pickup? Griffin, what do you think? Who cares, man? I don't really watch fucking TV anymore. Okay, well, it was a word of the series. Travis does it again. Travis, you have an incredible hit rate for this bit. I have to say, you are extremely good at that. This is what I should have done. I should have been somebody who'd have guessed at which TV

shows get made. That's what you should have done. I'm the key demographic. I'm the person everybody seems to be making TV shows for. You're a 35-year-old white man, so yeah, you're explicitly that. Yeah, sounds about right. Folks, this has been our podcast with my brother, my brother, me. We're sorry it got weird at the end, but we enjoyed ourselves before that, and we hope you did too. And remember, as we say every week, you're welcome to turn it off whenever you want to and go do other stuff. It's fine. Sometimes the wheels are going to fall off, guys. We're just three brothers. You can always put some of the show into a bag, take it home, put it in the refrigerator, swear you'll eat some more later, but then think like,

hold's been sitting in there for like seven days, then throw it out. That's fine. We also, because we didn't want to give you a bunch of live episodes in a row, managed to record for these bad boys in the course of a week, which was just poor planning on our part. We're sorry about that. We love you very much. Thanks to John. Oh, fuck. Fuck, man. Roderick knows how I feel. Start over. Hi, everybody. Welcome, my brother, my brother, me. Thanks, Max. Well, I'm fun. All these great shows are there. Speaking of live shows, we've got some coming up in Indianapolis and Nashville in the middle of June. Go get your tickets. We have other ones too. You could get some in Atlanta.

There's other, I think like the second half of the year is more or less sold out, but we've got our live shows. And also, when you're hearing this, the Adventure Zone book tour tickets will be on sale and might be sold out already, but you can go to macroi.family, click on tours and get those tickets. And you can also pre-order the Adventure Zone graphic novel book too, Murder on the Rockport Limited. Go to theadventurezonecomic.com that comes out in mid-July. Don't miss it. Be your first person in the world to ever see a comic book. Hey, thanks to John, Roderick, and Max, I'm fun. I already did that. Juice, you got any, Keith? Hey, listen, folks, we just, we have a bunch of

merchandise you can go buy if you go to macroimerch.com. Or on our website, macroi.family, you can find links to merchandise and new episodes of our web series, this one and a lot of others. I have a serial podcast. It's for people with anxiety or people who just want to chill out. It's called The Empty Bowl, and it's about serial, but it's a meditative podcast about serial. And if you want to check that out, it's on my tunes. I'll give that plug this week. That's, that's my plug. You want the final Yahoo? Yes, please. Yeah. This one was sent in by a couple folks. Thanks, everybody who sent this in. It's anonymous Yahoo! Answers user I'm going to call. Nana asks,

How many whoppers can you eat? It was Justin McElroy. I'm Griffin McElroy. This has been my brother, my brother, me, kids, your dad, squir, all the lips. Have you ever watched a movie so bad you just needed to talk to somebody about it? Well, here at the flop house, we watch a bad movie and then talk about it. Yeah, you don't have to do anything. We'll watch it and we'll talk it. We do the hard work. Featuring the beautiful vocal talents of Dan McCoy, Stuart Wellington, and me, America's Rascal, Elliot Kalen, new episodes every other Saturday at maximumfun.org

or wherever you get your podcast, dude. Bye-bye. Bye-bye.