My Brother, My Brother And Me - MBMBaM 503: How to Get Away with Pinkbelly

Episode Date: March 24, 2020

Listen, y’all. There’s only one way that we’re getting through this thing, and I think we all know exactly what way I’m talking about. It is imperative, now more than ever, that we get Richard Gere to be a top-tier YouTuber.Suggested talking points: What’s Funny?!, Lying Ants, Snip Tunes, Roughhousing, Netflix Prophecies, Liminal Chalupa

The McElroy brothers are not experts, and their advice should never be followed. Travis insists he's a sexpert, but if there's a degree on his wall, I haven't seen it. Also, this show isn't for kids, which I mentioned only so the babies out there will know how cool they are for listening. What's up, you cool baby? Hello everybody and welcome to my Brother My Brother Meet Advice Show from the modern era. I'm your oldest brother, Justin McElroy. I'm your middle-est brother, Travis McElroy. I'm your sweet baby brother, Griffin, Andrew McElroy. Guys, what's still funny?

Very little it seems. What's still funny is the thing for me. You know what, Justin? I don't know about funny. I don't know from funny anymore. What's still funny? We're supposed to punch up, not down. Everybody's down. Yeah, we can punch side to side. I can punch you and you can punch Griffin. Let's punch each other. Let's try punching each other. Lateral punches. Let's give that a shot.

Okay, let me go. Travis, the noise of you eating peanut M&Ms when we began was profane. But I did it off mic, Justin. No, you didn't, bud, because I just told you what you were eating. No, sorry, sorry. I did it off audience mic. The audience didn't have to. Just you. Just you, my brother. Yeah, but I got, I mean, I got it. I don't like this. I don't like us punching side to side.

Yeah, no punching sideways. Travis, did you send questions? We going to do those or it feels, it feels, maybe not questions. Is this, I don't know, questions feels. Okay, let's talk about, listen, this is negative for everyone. Let's acknowledge something up front. This situation is negative for everyone to different degrees. Yes.

This is not news to us. We are going to push forward in the best way that we can sort of manage in our sort of twisted sort of view. This is, first of all, can you guys fucking wait for the South Park episode about this? Oh my new shit guys. I have said that fucking phrase out loud. Oh no. But I don't think they're in production.

I think everybody stopped production. See, you can't even get like a little twisted South Park humor joke going on. Hey, can I, can I, can I tell you guys something real from the heart? Yeah, sure. I guess. I had a lot of funny stuff to say about South Park, but go ahead. I know. I'm so happy to be talking to you two boys.

Oh God, I know. Because I, if I'm being honest, even though I spent time with my family, I have spent a little too much time with myself. Yeah. Last time I was last night, I found the entire season of Boy Meets World on Disney Plus. Sorry, watching some episodes of that, which led me to thinking about the Lawrence brothers, which, and this is not an exaggeration for the podcast. I became very worried about the Lawrence brothers.

I hadn't heard from them in a while, and I found myself having real emotional investment in making sure that the Lawrence brothers are doing okay. In the context of the global pandemic. Okay. So you're just saying, you're worried about, you're worried about early 2019 Lawrence brothers. Yeah. I'm just saying like, I've kept up with most brothers in the game. You know, I know what's going on.

But we get the newsletters. Right. But the Lawrence brothers, I realized it's been a solid grip since I heard anything about those fools. And I was worried about them, but they're Wikipedia's. It seems like everything's okay. Good, good, good. I think that's the secret, right?

We're all anxious people. And when I say all, I mean literally every person listening to this. And if you are listening to this and you don't have anxiety, what are you doing, man? Yeah, give me a snoo to that. Yeah, let me have a huff of whatever. You're huffing pal because I would love to ride that Bronco. But you know, it's maybe you can occupy your anxiety with something completely demented like what are the Lawrence brothers up to?

And then it's, and then you can. Griffin, let me be clear. Not what are they up to? Are they okay? Are they good? Are they doing well? Are they? Because here's the thing.

It's three child actors in that family and all three of them seem to be doing okay. But they're in cloaking mode. Yes. Here is here is one bad thing is I will tell you guys out front. I wanted to come hot with a fun segment. Not a lot of innovation in the fast food space right now. Shoot juice. That innovation has ground to a halt.

And I know what you're thinking. It seemed to have been all upside so far with this unpleasantness. But now there's a downside as well. And it is fast food innovation has ground to a halt. When we needed them most. I know. Here's a new innovation. I would like if any of the fast food industry is listening.

Yeah. What if it was like. And what excuse do they have? Yeah, right. What if it was like food? But I went like I went to the store and bought it and then I could make it at home. So no other human hands ever touched it. Oh, that's then groceries.

But that's grocery. Yeah, you make groceries. You know what? I knew it as soon as I said it. I was like that. Yeah, you're right. Okay, what about this? A bigger drive through window.

So like eight people can be getting food all at once. We're very we're veering towards food train, Trav. So yeah, we've also covered food train with. Okay, food train. If you are not aware of the deep lore, food train is an innovation where all the world's food would be art. No, sorry. All the nation's food would be on a single train that would be like a roving food truck

that could move along and expand or attract capacity as needed. Yeah. And and crucially, it was staffed by sexy robots. Right. Because the full surface was so hot. Yeah. His bodies were grills and they all look like Mark Ruffalo. I've watched this recently.

Yeah. I forgot that part. The sexy Ruffalo bots and everybody wanted to get on the train because it looks so sexy and hot. Would we be as a nation in a better or worse scenario if the nation had heeded our warnings about food train some three years ago or however long ago it was when we sort of breathe that into existence. I think one would fix the other. I think one would fix the other.

Which one would fix the other one, Griffin? Yep. Oh. Oh, like Seabiscuit fixed all of us. That kind of thing. But also how we kind of fix Seabiscuit, if you think about it. Thank you. We did.

We did fix Seabiscuit. Because we made a movie about him and without that, he's just another horse. Hey, do you guys think we could get a bunch of podcasters together and make a viral video of us all singing like Wild Honey Pie or? Actually, I think we at Griffin, I hate to sort of tone police you. I think we're switching back to popular. I think we're going to stop calling videos and stuff viral. And I think we're just going to start calling that popular.

I like that. I like that a lot. But we could do like did we get, you know, fucking Joe Rogan and do like Dizzy Miss Lizzie or like Eleanor Rigby or something. That's so close-minded. What about Sex and Candy by Marcy's Playground? That could be super strong. And I would think that, Trav, we would make that video.

Travis. And I think it would do something out there. Well, because here's what I'll say. Here's what I see an opportunity for. Baby boom, right? Everybody was talking before this. Like there's not enough babies. Everyone agreed.

He's not been particularly horny the past month or so, Trav. Well, that's what I'm saying. We're all locked up, but like we don't have the horn. What if we do Sex and Candy and everyone's like, oh, shit. Oh, actually, yeah, let's reproduce. Yeah, right? They hear that. As everyone can agree, Sex and Candy by Marcy's Playground

is the sexiest song on Earth because it's about the two things people like most. Right there on the 10. Right there on the 10. And so you hear Sex and Candy and you're like, well, I really don't feel like it. And I think we were supposed to socially distance each other, even in our own homes. I'm not certain about that part.

But I try to convince my kids that that was the case that they just weren't buying it. Yeah. So let's get Robert Crawl, which on the phone, and we'll get him to drop a verse of Sex and Candy. Justin, do you know? Or just the whole thing. Yeah, that'll be our imagined video. It's just Robert Crawl singing all of Sex and Candy front and back.

Can I tell you guys the traveling thing about some of these ideas that we tend to throw out there? You're too horny. No, it's that I now have this bad part of my brain that's like, what the fuck else are they doing? You know, like we could get I've been thinking like, is this the moment that we should try to get like bag some big celebs? Yeah, like, yeah, you know, business is usual for us. I mean, except if I can find the time to keep coming down here and doing this. But like, I know a lot of Hollywood and TV are sort of in in suspension right now.

We had a couple of projects kind of kind of thrown into disarray by this. So we are speaking from some reasonably educated stance here. Should we try to bag some big ones? I think we could get a richer gear. Like that feels like a reach for not just like scale wise, but also just like demographic wise. I feel like a richer gear is out of our reach in many ways. But maybe a richer gear type. I'm not even saying necessarily richer gear.

We could know the richer gears. Good travel. Let's talk about that for a second because what I like about that is extremely difficult to attain. And I think also my best guess would be a very bad match for the energy this program. Oh, yeah. Between those two, I think that that's an interesting submission. Okay, then we get it. No, it's Richard gear, Justin, because we're going to give Richard gear podcast glow up, baby.

Yes. We're going to turn this motherfucker into a real popular sensation on the Internet. It's really hard to not say that word. And I think that we can make him good at fortnight. I think that we can make him talk about tick tock. I think we can make him whip and nay nay. What up here heads? It's me, Richie boy, coming at you live.

Be sure to smash that like a subscribe button. Gear heads is good. Smash that. Smash them. And here I'm going to open up a box of small toys. This is endless for kids. I'm Richard gear. What's in this box?

It's going to have some marbles and hard candies in there. Hey kids. Smash the like bud. I just got legitimately excited to watch. To watch Richard gear open some blind bags with complete enthusiasm. Maybe I got the new LOL's glow ups season three. Rip them open. This is advertorial content.

Just got to get that out there. And remember guys, if you're not sleeping on Casper, you're not really sleeping. Okay, so let's open these bags. This is how we're going to whip this thing's ass. Is not saying what can Richard gear do for us. Yes. But what can we do for Richard gear? Yes.

And by Richard gear, sometimes I also mean other people who actually need help in the world. But right now, hypothetically, we're going to start with making Richard gear a top tier YouTuber. And if I could just sort of do, maybe I get in touch with Ninja. And I say Ninja, can Richard gear be you for a day? Yeah, that would be getting Ninja gets to live training training spaces with Richard gear and Ninja would be what's up. And Richard gear has to go on and try. If you just try to log on a ninjas computer.

If you can figure out how to start. You can find three 13 year olds that you know, and they can try to make help you. See, he and he's going to fucking get it. I will record it. No, we're released this on Monday. We're probably fine. Listen, I've seen some of our celebrities already. Listen, everybody's saying imagine that was great.

We were we love that. Not asked to get in on that. I got to give a shout out to my man, Sam Neal, who I don't. We have talked about during the subway. Why not segment Sam Neal put out a video of himself. And this is the entirety of the video. Sam Neal says, hey, I'm doing OK. Of course, he looks fucking great.

Yeah, so sexy. Out on his like vineyard, wherever, hold up like, well, I'm in isolation. He's like, I don't know. I didn't know what to do with myself. So I washed all my shoes and then he shows a shot of all his clean shoes. He's like, but I don't have anywhere to wear them. But man, and then he picks one up and just gets a snoop full. He's like, man, do they smell good?

Anyway, hope your family is doing well. Sam Neal, that's the best you got. This is amazing because it's. Man, you've been in isolation for four days and you're already washing your shoes. It sets a bar for us, doesn't it? Because I don't know the decorum. I would love to make the world fucking laugh and share a Pepsi, but I also don't want to be, you know, unrespectful.

But now I have a bottom, a baseline of like what I can put out into the world. And it's me in my own vineyard huffing my clean, expensive shoes. That's that's the bottom of it. Top of it is the imagine video. Now I want to put out a video that's like me and my vineyard and I'm like, I'm in isolation and I didn't know what to do. So I just did a bunch of research on the Lawrence brothers to make sure they were okay. And then I just like huffed some pictures of the Lawrence brothers.

Or like maybe I've printed out their Wikipedia and I say, man, this Wikipedia smells great. And then I just eat the pages. That's good too. Or we could have Richard, Gary and Sam Neal have a grape fight in his vineyard. But from six feet away. From six feet away. You've got to.

Should we do a question just to get our sea legs under us? I want to say one other thing slightly more seriously, but it's on my heart. And I don't know how to like process this otherwise. We have gone at we've for the past like let's call it nine and a half years. We've tried because we've been doing this show for 10. Almost going to be a big anniversary soon. But we've been doing this show for a while. And for the bulk of it and like mainly at most of our professional careers,

we've made it a goal like try to have fun with without hurting people and trying not to like make things worse or make people feel bad really is what I should say. But I feel like everyone is in the same boat in a sense, which should be like easier, make that easier. But everybody's in very different boats because it's going to impact everybody differently. So I'm we're just trying.

We're going to try. I don't know. It's it's a tough time. I'm obviously like again, I don't have to put this like corollary and everything. But like it's it's harder for a lot of people. It's easier for some people. I'm sure who so we're we're we're trying. We're going to try our best.

And it'll be a learning process. And but like we're not going to stop. We can't stop. No, we could. I mean, we yeah, we yeah. But they canceled all our dang tours. So we do have to keep the life on to be fair. I've got nothing else to do.

Nothing else to do. And we did. So please, you know, hang in there with us and we will hang in there with you. And we'll get through this thing together. And it will continue to be like the show. But it'll be different because everything's different now. But we're still here to provide an oasis for you in as much as we can. Drink our cool waters, drink these calm waters, sip of these calm cool waters.

And we're we're going to do our best to make this fun for everybody. Obviously, if you're already struggling, I know a lot of people, especially in like service industries and restaurants, bars, etc. that are already like in pain. And we we love you and hang in there. Justin, that was very nice. Thanks, Travis. You like didn't you barely even let me finish for you said that. So I feel like you have that queued up.

No, it's just so exciting. I really didn't mean it. I thought I could have been better. Oh, well. Wow. OK, well, you can punch it up in editing, maybe add some strings. Sure. Let me add in. Let me add like, let me add like some like.

Oh, let me. Go Justin. Woo, slam dunk. Griffin, you can edit this in wherever. OK, and I'll drop that in. And let me do this one. You the man. That was good.

My son's going to wake up from this. Travis, I have to ask you about these questions real quick. What what epoch of human civilization are they from? Would you say they're from the before time? OK, well, that'll be fun. We have a limited supply of these bad boys. Yeah, this is from all the way back on March 16th. I'm looking I'm looking at currently.

Oh, and they're all titled roommate. Keeps drinking their own pee. Question mark, question mark, question mark. So it's just like 1700 of those. So that'll be a hot topic. I actually have I have a question here. Can't may I? No.

Return to me. Peace, boys. Oh my god. I'd rather drink my own pee. It's the thing that's going to get us out of this fun. Return to me. Peace, Justin. I would argue that the thing that's going to get us out

of the funk is doing a quite like doing the thing. Return to me. Peace, Griffin. OK, but this is good. Actually, I would rather do this now juice where it's at the beginning and then we can recover from it. Instead of having it like hit us in the middle and knock us off balance.

Give me a feast. Give me something I can really sink my fucking teeth into, Trav. This one I find I think it's revolutionary. Are you ready? Let me make a meal of it. There are three ants. The first one is at the front.

Second one in the middle. And third one at the back. The front one says that behind me there are five ants. The middle one says that behind me there are three ants. And the back one says that there are eight ants in front of me. How can this be? Holy Travis, I cannot even visualize what you are saying. Do you need me to read it again?

I mean, I know the version of this riddle where the numbers aren't just fucking number, number pasta just kind of thrown in a bowl and stirred all around. This one was sent to us by Michael. Do you need to hear it again? No, I mean, they're walking in a circle, but why are there more ants? Well, the one in front says behind me there are five.

The middle one says behind me there are three. And the back one says in front of me there are eight. Do you guys give up? Oh, they're walking in front of a mirror. And it's a circle walking in front of a mirror. Good guess, good guess. Justin, any guesses? No Travis, I don't have any guesses.

Well, the answer is simple. They are all liars. You can't do that. This is why I love this because this is revolutionary because this could be like a father and son are in a plane crash and the father dies and the son is rushed to the hospital. When he gets there, the doctor says, I can't operate on this child because he's my son.

How can this be? Answer, he's lying. We could just have all kinds of questions like this. What can you put in a barrel to make it lighter? A fucking lie. A lie? What's red and white and green all over? Nothing, I lied.

You, Travis has lied to you. Okay, here's a question. My friend is getting a vasectomy soon and the doctor said he could choose any music he likes. The doctor warned he would likely associate this music with the procedure forever afterwards. Any recommendations? That's from Sniptune.

I can only imagine. Is that one? Is that anything? Well, Justin, it seemed like you were coming at this from the position of let's put a stinker song in there that you're not going to be poisoned by and I can only imagine. Justin, you seem to quite enjoy your sex. Yeah, that's what I was trying to capture

was the sort of spirit of rejoicing. Oh, I see. A hymn of sorts. I wish I had had this option because my vasectomy, the doctors just talked about a bunch of garbage, a bunch of nonsense. Do you remember? Do you remember any of it?

It was in a sort of twilight state. Wait, they gave you a tight twilight sleep? I did, we did an episode right after I did it. I'm sure there's like more details there but my brain has not held onto them. I should go back and listen to it. If, is it just one song long? It seemed much longer than that.

They're really, what kind, what length of song is this like an American pie sort of deal or is it more of a, I'm going to do In and Gotta DeVita, please. Yeah, right. I want, because I really want you to take your time down there. Yes. Justin has one, I'm assuming one of the things that the doctor said when they were down there was something like,

did you get, you got to check out this dude's nuts? Something like that. Did you see this dude's huge nuts? Something like that. Just, I do remember him saying like, wow, these are so regular. Just the normal kind that everybody has. This, just right in the middle of the median. The whole thing.

It's just so average. You see him from the outside and you're like, whoa, big nuts, but you get in there. Not that big, dude. It's about to go illusion, dude. Can you believe this? Yeah. Look at that.

Now look at it kind of cross your eyes. It's a rhino. It's got a razzle dazzle on his balls. So stupid, dude. Hey, hey, hey, start Amber by 311 over again. It just ran out. Look at the tape. I got distracted.

I just remember I started chanting peer, sit, peer, sit. Like I'm already, it's fine down there. Yeah, you're already there. What's a good song to get of it? I mean, you, Justin, were you hurting for a distraction? Were you like, boy, I wish I had something else to think about to get my mind off what's happening down there. I was high.

I mean, I was high on drugs. Right, right. I didn't, I don't want to clint. I was trying to fall asleep and I couldn't. And they told me I couldn't fall asleep. I didn't want to be around for it. I wanted to step out of the building for a few moments and come back to my, to my ruined penis.

But I couldn't, I couldn't. I was like very present in the moment, but there was just chattering away, just talking, talking, talking. I do remember them saying like, I can't believe this guy's laughing. That's what, that's the one quote I remember, like they couldn't believe that I was like, chuckling it up. What were you laughing about? Can you remember?

No, I really, my memory, I feel like I did have memories at the beginning and whatever they have been replaced by, I guess, like animal crossing strats or something. I don't know. You're probably laughing because at one point, one of the doctors was like, I need that, that clamp right there. And can you hand me these? And then he just kind of waited, just kind of waited.

It's rather, you have to use every time we can't. This is our eighth resect me today. Please, please. I like bro surgeon. Bro surgeon is my new favorite, my new favorite guy. Hey, how about a Yahoo? I do remember this after they had given me the gas, the doctor came in wearing a hooker shell necklace.

And I was too late. I just couldn't, I couldn't stop. At that point it was like, I can't stand up and walk out. They were already gas free. I'm in for the, I'm in for the ride of my life. Here is, here is a Yahoo sent in by Adrian Cowles. Thank you, Adrian. It's an anonymous Yahoo Answers user who I'm going to call.

Famous asks, in college, what's the punishment for rough housing in class? Huh. And then that's the end of the question. And we're not talking about fighting. Yeah, right. When you fight, fight it. In high school, if you fight, you're out of here, mister.

Like not in my school, we're here trying to educate and enrich these young lives and souls so that they get to go to heaven. And I'm talking about rough housing, which is kind of just rough play. Pressing hard in your friend's armpit and they fall over accidentally. Like rough housing.

Like a nookies. Like a nookie. Yeah, like a nookie, right? You wouldn't necessarily say there's ill intent, but if you found out later that that person does not like you, you'd be like, oh, okay, this makes a lot of sense now. Giving up, giving up, giving a friend a pink belly. Say, saying friend, pull up that shirt.

But okay, but I'm in college and I am learning about law because I'm about to be a lawyer. And my friend accidentally lifts up his shirt and I say pink belly and I give him pink belly. Am I gonna, what's the, like what is, what is the lawyer professor gonna fucking do? Huh. It's not how to get away.

It's not how to get away with murder. It's not how to get away with pink belly. Like, they're not gonna. What if it was? What if it was? Welcome to my new show, The Perfect Pink Belly. The Perfect Pink Belly. That would be, wouldn't that be wild if you just

lift up your shirt and be like, hey, okay, this, no one's gonna believe me, but my belly's pink and it's six and I know what if you did it? I know. I'm gonna show me your hands. As one lone student just whistles as they leave out the door and then it's like, I put it all together. The lights go off and there's a scream and a chandelier fall.

Who bumped my belly? Like candles in one person as a pink belly. Somebody pinked Donald. Everybody put your handprint up against the handprint on my belly quickly before it disappears. Don't have much time. I'm already moving past this inconvenience. It couldn't have been me.

I had honey all over my palm from that sandwich I was eating. If I had pinked your belly, there would be honey residue. Yeah. And you were loudly announcing right before the lights went out how you were really enjoying your super sticky sandwich. Yes, so you see, it couldn't be I, Reginald Slap Belly. You're being really quiet over there, Lawrence. Oh, Griffin, you're Lawrence.

Oh, yeah. Yeah, man. Oh yeah, dude. Oh man, pink belly, huh? That's the pits. Lawrence, I heard, though, in the lavatory. Why do you talk like that? Yeah.

I'm a foreign exchange student from the past. I saw a lot of shit in mid school and high school. VISAV. Did you call it mid school? VISAV, yeah. VISAV. That's what the cool kids call it. People doing a big fight or a wrestle or horse play like in class

that got a little out of hand. Once I did a horse playing class that got out of hand, I got detention in middle school. I accidentally knocked the table over. And it did, it grazed a young girl's leg. And I got written up and on the pink slip, the teacher wrote, in an effort to be cute, Griffin flipped a table over and mauled a young woman who then had to go to the hospital.

Like, none of that was true. And I wasn't trying to be cute. I didn't appreciate that. But I got sent a detention. Nothing like that. I don't think I ever saw anybody go, just, let's start here. Does college have detention? It has to, right?

Because if not, like, what are the fucking, you live there? What are the fucking stakes? What, maybe, maybe that's the secret. Well, hold on. If in real life, let's take it one step further. If in real life, I horse play, I could go to jail, right? Yeah, yeah, yeah. They don't call it that.

When you do horse play and you hurt someone in real life, they don't call it horse play anymore. No, they call it assault. They call it assault. And if I do that in high school, I go to detention. Why, Griffin, as you're pointing out, is college this, like, safe uncanny middle valley thing of just, like, horse play here?

You're fine. You're fine. I want to know what dies in us when we graduate high school, where we no longer feel like doing an awful waffle to our friends in the middle of our history class. I don't get it. Too much going on, I guess. I guess beer, right?

Oh. Oh, man. Is that it? And probably beer? Getting laid. Well, I don't, I don't know about that. Yeah, bro. Yeah, bro.

I've gotten laid before and wanted to do an awful waffle immediately after. Really? Which my sexual partner was not into. And so I had to quell those dark urges back inside and write them down in my sex journal. Speaking of sex journal, should we go to the money zone? Let's go.

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Do you think they tried to call the business some money? But then they mistyped it, but they had already spent the dollars at, you know, GoDaddy. That's probably it. Honey works on over 30,000 stores and they add more every day. And with over 100,000 five-star reviews, I mean, they gotta be doing something right, you know?

It is a cool service. You should check it out. Visit joinhoney.com slash brother. It's free and it installs in just two clicks. Give it a whirl. I really think you'll save some cash. It's joinhoney.com slash brother. Welcome back to Fireside Chat on KMAX.

With me in studio to take your calls is the dopest duo on the West Coast, Oliver Wong and Morgan Rhodes. Go ahead, caller. Hey, I'm looking for a music podcast that's insightful and thoughtful, but like also helps me discover artists and albums that I've never heard of.

Yeah, man. Sounds like you need to listen to heat rocks every week myself. And I'm Morgan Rhodes and my co-host here, Oliver Wong, talked to influential guests about a canonical album that has changed their lives. Guests like Moby, Open Mike Eagle, talk about albums by Prince, Joni Mitchell, and so much more. Yo, what's that show called again?

Heat Rocks, Deep Dives, into Hot Records. Every Thursday on Maximum Fun. I have a question for you guys. Okay. And we're definitely gonna like, fault, you know, we're gonna be, like I said, it's gonna be a little mix. Okay, grip it, not me.

Wait, who's first in the grip? Oh, well, I don't care of Travis's. I saved it. Okay. Because I wanted to frame Justin, but then he instantly was like, it wasn't me. Could we go back and pretend it was Justin for a while and do some jacuzzi?

That would be funny. It would be funny, but we've already kind of blown out. Next time, next time. Next time, two of us will grip it and rip it, and we'll be up to the audience to decide who. Why do you keep to Travis? Travis, Travis, yeah. Where does that voice, what part,

where does that voice deep inside? It's Riddle Me Piss Guy and he won't leave. It's like the third time Riddle Me Piss Guy has showed up this episode and I wish he would, here's the door, don't let it hit you. It's me, Riddle M. Pissworth. Yeah, get out of here Riddle M. Pissworth. I don't want you.

I want Travis. But I paid to be here. We love Travis. We love Travis. I hate you. Did you hear that Riddle M. Pissworth? They finally chose me. Right before the unpleasantness began,

the last two big hit shows on Netflix that we got like, I don't know if everybody on this call, I'm pretty sure almost everybody on this call got obsessed with at least one of these, right? The last two big Netflix like Sweep the Globe huge hits was one, The Circle, which imprisoned people in apartments and forced them to only contact each other through social networking, right?

The second big one right after that is Love is Blind, where people were put into isolation and forced to fall in love and marry each other. Yes. So my question is this, did Taco Bell, not Taco Bell. Wait, I don't know why I said Taco Bell. Whoa, Justin.

No, hold on. Well, why did you just confuse Netflix and Taco Bell, son? I was thinking about Taco Bell's response to the unpleasantness. Um, did Netflix get in right under the wire or right before Peak Relevance? That's my question. Oh. Did these show, the timing of these shows is wild.

It is wild. And I hope if this is, if past this prologue, vis-a-vis Netflix's programming, I sure hope we don't hit, I sure hope we don't get a bird box. Oh, yeah, I guess that's true. Now you're hoping that a real bird box doesn't happen. But a terrace house would be fantastic.

No, if terrace house were to really happen, that would be so exciting. Real people would live together and get to know each other by living together. That would be incredible. Instead of a bird box, I would rather we all do it to all the boys I've loved before. Is where I would rather be.

Definitely. That's the world I want to live in. You know what world I want to live in? The Boss Baby World. Justin, can you make them do Boss Baby World? I guess I could try to get the world of Boss Baby going. Okay. You seem to know people, Justin.

I don't know how you're all connected but... Tell them. But I thought you said... Do-loo-loo-loo-loo-lu-lu-lu-lu-la-la-la-la-la-la. I wanna munch. Squad. I want to munch. Squad.

Okay. OK, you know, there's still going to be one up in the mix. Come on, they're not stopping. All of the others will be turned, but rising is still Taco Bell. Now it's a week. OK. I had my suspicions when Justin had his Freudian slip of the tongue. That was like to be a mother. Talk about having open rate to pull the trigger on it.

And I just went too soon. Taco Bell and let me. I want to frame this for you all before I get in the press release. I think that we're going to be talking about the longest shell ever with the triple lupa, the ultimate reinvention of the fan favorite chalupa. It's the triple lupa. And I want I want I guess what I'm thinking is. There had to be someone at Taco Bell in the past couple of weeks.

As bad as things have been, I will tell you that there's so much talk about the past couple of weeks that at some point has had the thought. Man, now nobody's going to talk about the triple lupa. Yeah, three shells, three flavors, the triple lupa, triples the flavor and doubles the beef in Taco Bell's first tear apart menu item, tear apart, tear apart menu item. Terror, terrible. Yeah, tear apart.

I would argue you. I would argue any any item at Taco Bell is tear apart. If you want it, you believe if you need it. Yeah, Taco Bell is no stranger to giving fans more of what they love. And now the latest reinvention of the iconic chalupa gives fans three times the reason to get excited, launching for a limited time in participating restaurants nationwide on March 12th. The stuff the triple lupa serves as a hands on experience

with three mini chalupas featuring three flavors and double the season beef compared to the regular chalupa. Combining three mini chalupas to create the longest shell in Taco Bell history, the triple lupa marks Taco Bell's first ever tear apart menu item. It takes all the elements of the chalupa, the next level with different flavors in each of the mini shells. Nacho, do you see how they've become mini shells solely by the solely by the fact that there's three of them joined together?

Now they're mini. It's like they've made this bite size like they've made a flight of chalupas, but it's like a concentric flight. There's nacho cheese on one end, chipotle on the other, and a combination of the two cheese and chipotle in the third. OK, fuck off. Not three flavors. That's not three flavors.

That's a messy spot in the middle where you can't separate the two. Justin, can I ask you a question? Yeah, I'm not. Is it about the triple lupa? Because it's all I did. I'm not as in touch with the quick service industry as you are. Was there ever a double lupa or did they just skip straight from single lupa to triple lupa?

Because if so, I feel like they have missed a very important milestone. There's a market there for the double lupa for those of us who are scared of the triple lupa. Yes, if we can find a way to fill that niche, fill the South Park niche. We're going to be in the double lupa is not on sale right now. But it's just called the double chalupa. OK, so it's two. It's it's a double wide, basically.

If they double. But that's not the same. If they were going to skip ahead, they should have just gone straight to the quadruple. Oh, well, that's just two of those squished together by a very strong man. That's a good point. The trip. OK, so the triple lupa getting back into the mix here.

Uh, since the introduction in 1999, the beloved menu item has continuously transformed in shape, form and ingredients to become the most reinvented Taco Bell menu item of all time. A weird brag. We just can't seem to get this fucking thing right. All our fans agree we can't get this one right. From flavor innovation, like the Baja lupa in 2000, which wasn't it. We know it wasn't it.

We know we missed on that one. Don't don't tweet at us any more, please. To size innovation with the double chalupa in 2017, we blew it. Quote, at Taco Bell, we recognize and love the fandom that the chalupa is cultivated over the years, a fandom that is devoted to essentially a concept, really a brand name, really, because this thing has been reinvented so many times. But it's why we want to bring our fans implies they're out there,

like people out there like doing cosplay and writing like fan fiction about the fan. Favorite probably there is. And it's an all new flavor and shell experience with the triple lupa. That's from Kristen Fudalan, associate manager of research and development at Taco Bell and lead product developer behind the triple lupa. The triple lupa's nationwide launch gives us the opportunity to celebrate the transformation of this beloved menu item. And we can't wait for everyone to taste this latest innovation

for the triple lupa's nationwide debut. I want to thank Taco Bell, honestly, kidding aside. I haven't thought about anything but the triple lupa for the past three minutes. And it's been pretty incredible. And it's this one is so long and there's no way they could have known. And they made such a long press release for this. Thank you for the triple lupa's nationwide debut. Taco Bell is partnering with a brand known for serving up its own reinventions.

Guess right now, both of you. My God, um, uh, a segway. A segway, Travis, just an invention. Like, oh, wait, Tesla. I take it back, Tesla. Well, it's tick tock. Oh, the short form mobile video platform serves as the framework for the triple lupa's national TV spot.

And is the first time tick knock has partnered with a brand on a national advertising campaign shot in tick tocks full screen vertical video format. The ad spot follows the creative, unexpected and joyful content the tick tock community is celebrated for, which I would assume is much less triple lupa focus now than it would have been two weeks ago. When I look back at our history with social trends, I'm proud of the fact that we are always leading the industry and pushing boundaries. Whether it's being the first on new platforms or breaking records on others.

Taco Bell is constantly at the forefront of online trends, said Tracy LaRocca, senior VP of brand engagement at Taco Bell, who must have a very confusing job at the moment. The most, the most natural step for us would be to partner with a brand like tick tock. Yep. The most natural step for our taco store would be to part how, where, where did it go? How did it get to here? With the most natural step for our taco store is to partner with this small video because

I, we can't say that exact sentence that you just said out loud about how did we get to here because it invites you to open up a door and do a pitch black abyss that I got. I actually got vertigo from like thinking about it and I had to close the door. I can tell you exactly how it happened. Are you ready for this? Having like this picture, like a conference room table full of execs, some young, some not so young. One of them playing on his phone is Bradley. He never pays attention during these meetings.

And Mr. Bell, who is of course the owner of Taco Bell says, Bradley, what do you think? And Bradley without thinking just looks, there was a tick tock and that's how it was born. I tell most business happens. Yeah. Because of fucking Bradley and his fucking Bradley, his malfeasance. And then Bradley said tick tock and everyone lost their shit. I mean, that's probably it.

Yeah. Yeah. Um, oh my God. I'm looking at a triple lupa right now. Taco Bell was tweeting about this stuff. The brand is encouraging fans to jump in on the thought by participating in an upcoming Taco Bell hashtag challenge on tick tock and plans to announce more details about the challenge in the coming weeks.

I doubt it. Taco Bell will also be partnering with select tick tock creators to inspire fans to reinvent something themselves and share it on the platform. So yeah, that one hasn't gotten, I'm looking at Twitter and that one hasn't gotten a lot of the traction you would sort of hope for on that, on that one. That one hasn't gotten a lot of heat. I tell you, I'm looking at this wild taco caterpillar that they have put together for me. And the only, the only one of these that I'm interested in is the, the, the like,

the liminal lupa, the like central eyes, sort of middle of the Venn diagram. Give me that one. I want a service that will rip them, the liminal lupa out of the middle of this to caterpillar and mail it to my house. Now, what if, what if I get one of these when I got two friends and one of the friends is like, I want cheesy and the other friend said, I want Chipotle, but here's the thing guys, I wanted Chipotle. I didn't want you.

Now I'm stuck in the middle with the, are we supposed to get our own? I think you spend as long as you can arguing about that and then find another vine to swing to. Yeah. You just enjoy each other's company for the brief moment you have. I wouldn't call that enjoying company. Having a taco fight Travis is not enjoyable company. I'll tell you Griffin right now, I would love to have a taco fight.

You'd love to have a taco fight. Yes, that wasn't, that wasn't my wife and kid. I love my wife and kids, but we've had plenty of taco fights over the last couple of days. Yeah, it's not even complete. You know who's going to win before you even get started. And it's, it's BB. Yeah. I'm frustrated.

I'm frustrated by another Taco Bell product. They got a new grande burritos. I don't have a price list about this one, but there's two new flavors of the dollar grande burritos. One of the flavor is called loaded taco burrito. Huh. What are you, what are you all doing? Like, what are you doing? That's just two of the things.

What if, what are you doing? What if I talk about this tweet of like, hey, right now we realize no one's looking. So we're just going to rename everything, everything. Cause like none of y'all are paying attention. We're going to completely change our menu by the time you all get back. Listen, we're, we're innovators and we are not afraid to make bold choices. And we're going to move everything just one over to the left. Yep.

And you won't notice. Good luck. Just get, you just open, like you drive, go to the drive through and are like, just give me a bag of sludge and bread. Whatever conflagration of that, whatever, whatever different permutations you have. I'm going to get a meat and bread. Does that say fettuccine alfredo taco bell? What the fuck?

Hey, wait, this is two soft tacos. Yep. You cracked the case. A conflagration, a conflagration is actually a fire, but that actually is a purple, I think. That works here too. In our, our situation. Anyway, this has been my brother, my brother, and me. We hope you've enjoyed yourself.

We hope that we could, and we'll continue to provide a little bit of cheeriness for you. Hopefully we won't spend as much time, like, couching it, I think, next, next week. It's, it would be wild not to sort of talk about it, I guess. Well, just like everybody, we're fucking flying by to see our pants right now. You know, it's, it's, like, things are, we're adjusting. Like, we normally record on Wednesdays and publish on Mondays. Like, it seems like things are so drastically different, even in, like, a four-day time span. But, you know, I really, I think we're going to get through this.

Like, we've been doing this show for almost 10 years. That's like, if we can do this show for 10 years, you know? Yeah. Wait, are you comparing talking to your brothers for an hour every week to a, to a quarantine? You see, it doesn't feel, I was just saying, like, the time shall, the, the time shall pass and we will, we will figure out a new way of feeling. It's so making it sound like, it's what I'm saying.

It's making it sound like once we hit 10 years though, we're, we're out of the worst of it. Finally. I mean, I would hope we're out of the worst of this show. We're passing through the clouds now. I, real quick, just wanted to say, isolate yourself and wash your hands. This is the kind of thing where I still see people, even this far into the whole thing. I hate to be serious for a minute, but I see people saying, well, I'm not worried about it. Well, it's not about you.

It's about everyone. And there are people that are worried about it. And the best thing that we could do right now is to self isolate and social distance and wash the hell out of your hands. Please do that. Yes, do that. That, I guess it's just being a good citizen. Wash your whole body.

A lot of people aren't going to tell you to do that, but wash, wash, wash your, like your feet and your butt, like do your hands whenever you're near a sink, but don't forget about the rest of your body too. I'm worried. And here's what I would, here's one more thing I would say. This is just advice from somebody who's lived with anxiety for basically his whole life. Do your best to accept your scenario as it changes. You know, like do your best to just embrace where you're at and be in that moment and don't

let yourself get too far ahead because there's no way I know one. You know, we got today, so focus on today. And really, you know what? Really seriously, look at, look at your situation and say, how could the MacRoy brothers address this? I need advice about the, the new nuance, the new meaningless things, the new, the new meaningless conflicts in my life. And we, we will continue to address those because this is going to be weird because

a lot of us are going to have a lot of the same meaningless conflicts in our life. The same meaningless challenges, the same easily overcome challenges that, that we can all sort of talk about and work through together. So, you know, let us know how we can help. And we'll, we will continue to be there to advise through these, these challenging days. Or as was the case in this episode, to talk about Richard Gere and Taco Bell a whole lot. Yep. Well, dude, what if Richard Gere worked at Taco Bell?

I think it would go a little something like this, something like this. My name is Justin McGrath. No, wait, no, wait. Griffin didn't say the thing. Thanks to John Rodgerick and the Long Winters for the Use for Our Theme Song. Is it a part you're off the album putting the days to bed? Thank you to Maximum Fun. Thank you to, just thank you to you. Let's do it.

Let's do that final. Yeah. Oh, got a final, you usually don't introduce the final yourself, Griffin. It's a weird transition. So let me, let me do it also for you. Here comes Griffin with the final Yahoo. I'm going to do the final Yahoo now. Here it comes. It's from Graham Roebuck.

Thanks, Graham. It's an anonymous Yahoo Answers user who I am going to call Picard because there's an ad for it. Picard asks, can poems have curse words in them? My name is Justin McGrath. I'm Travis McIlroy. I'm Griffin McIlroy. It's been my brother, my brother, me. Kiss your dad.

We should change that. No, I can't. You shouldn't though, right? But your dad's fine. Everybody can kiss your dad's for a minute. But you might not be, you might not be fine. Yeah, I guess it's true. Do we need a new one?

Kiss your dad from the six feet away. Kiss a. That's impossible. Yell at your dad. You're not a kid. Yell something. Yell at your dad. Yell something affirming at your dad.

Encourage, check on your dad with your phone. Check on your dad. Send your dad the kissy face emoji. We'll just keep it. It'll be weird because in a few months, people have forgotten all about this and I don't want to make it weird for them when they listen to the ending.

Imagine there's quotes around kiss and lips. Yeah, for yourself now. Imagine that. I hate actually putting those quotes there, Traff. Yeah, you know. I want you to take that down and I want you to read it and then think about what your actions and your sayings. I would actually hazard to say that every word of it

is worse with quotes. Like there's not a thing in there you put quotes right on your word. Kiss your dad. Kiss your dad. Yeah, any words are bad. Comedy and culture. Artist owned.

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