My Brother, My Brother And Me - MBMBaM 512: The Jabberjaw Affair

Episode Date: May 25, 2020

When observing this episode from the future, it should serve as a pretty good benchmark for where we’re at, mentally speaking, mid-quarantine. Y’all, we spend a CHUNK of time talking about a cool blanket we had growing up. A BIG chunk.Suggested talking points: Scoob Fever, Choice Bee Cuts, Mono Lisa, Powerful Tiger Blankets, Swordproof Hippo, 3rd Grade Plagiarism

The McElroy brothers are not experts, and their advice should never be followed. Travis insists he's a sexpert, but if there's a degree on his wall, I haven't seen it. Also, this show isn't for kids, which I mentioned only so the babies out there will know how cool they are for listening. What's up, you cool baby? Hello everybody and welcome to my brother. My brother made an advice show for the Modron era. I'm your oldest brother, Justin McElroy. I'm your middlest brother, Travis McElroy. I'm your sweet baby brother in 30 under 30 media luminary, Griffin. Excuse me, everybody. I apologize for that, doing that right into the microphone. I usually

have better technique than that, but can you blame me? I've got scoop fever. These problems don't seem to be real until they affect someone that you care about, and then it's time to really sound the alarm bells and get out there. No sooner had we pretty much wrapped up the coronavirus thing at this point. We're on the tail end of it, aren't we? It's wrapping up. This is like we're in the credit sequence for sure. Right. Just as coronavirus finally gets wrapped up, now our family has been stricken with, well, just one member of our family has been stricken with a case of scoop fever. Oh, it's hitting me hard. Let me tell you the symptoms. One, gotta need to have to

sort of want to watch scoop all day. Number two, I sneeze and it makes me do sound like Scooby-Doo or Scrappy-Doo, depending on the time of day. Number three, an itch, a constant all-body itch, all over, but especially in my button privates. I'll be honest with you, it's mostly the one to watch Scooby-Doo all day 24-7. Travis, you had a question about my condition. Well, more comment, really. Yeah. I would say the bitter irony here is that Griffin has been afflicted with this malady, but I actually, just before we started recording, got my test results back and I seem to be immune. Oh, wow. Yeah. Wow. So you think it's funny? It's very rare that they're going to study me. You think maybe you did have scoop fever and now you do have the

antibodies built up. And I don't know how that would happen. Maybe you saw a preview for it before Detective Pikachu and you were like, I'm going to see though. You may have actually vaccinated yourself with an inert virus. I watched a lot of bodies. I watched a lot of a pup named Scooby-Doo and the vouchers are theorizing that that contained some of the dead Scoob virus. Well, and you fucked Jabberjaw, didn't you, Travis? Well, you fucked Jabberjaw the cartoon shark from the Anabarc era. From Griffin? Hey, Griffin, I made love with Jabberjaw, please. No, you made love to Grape-Ape. I would never. That's terrifying. You made love to Grape-Ape,

fuck kill Mary Jabberjaw, Grape-Ape and Dick Dastardly. I would fuck Jabberjaw. You would fuck Jabberjaw because you have fucked Jabberjaw. We've covered this. I think I'd marry Grape-Ape. It seems like a provider. And you know why? Because I really want to kill Dick Dastardly once and for all. Someone needs to. Um, I can't, we can't really talk about our feelings about the Scoob film because our careers have taken so many twists at this point that I have a not insignificant statistical chance of being in a room with people that worked on this film at this point. So I can't actually talk that much about it. But I will say one thing in the movie that is is that we meet the gang

when they're kids. And when Shaggy adopts Scooby, he gives him a collar with the SD on it. And he says, Scooby says, I'll never take it off. Scooby's talking a lot in this one, by the way. I'm not loving it. Yeah. But he, he says he'll never take it off. There is a plot point, another hour into the film, which is 10 years later, where much is made, much ballyhoo is made of the fact that Scoob is in fact taking off the collar for the first time. Hey, Shaggy, um, I don't think that's okay. Yeah. Just from a hygiene standpoint, I don't think that's great dog maintenance, I would say. You gotta take that off from time. You gotta do a deep sort of grout cleaning under there. Just really get in there. Boys, this is just a, um, let's just discuss the facts of Scoob. I have

not seen it. Okay. You both have. I'm looking at our cast. Is that what you're about to ask? Well, yeah, I am. I am looking at the IMDb cast list now. We'll fortate Mark Wahlberg. Oh, I know. Because my quiz show that was about to do with you, Travis, I ball it up. Sorry. Put in the trash. Fuckin. This is Zach Efron, Gina Rodriguez. You fucking know Justin Loved Mark Wahlberg always. It's his first animated film, according to IMDb, but here is my question. Yeah. Among the stellar cast is the listing for Simon Cowell as Simon Cowell. Yeah. So do they finally, does someone finally do a send up of Simon Cowell and he's whole like, I don't think I'd like your performance, darling.

Travis, if I was to tell you that the action of the film, the impetus of the action of the film, is that Simon Cowell wants to invest in mystery ink, but not if Shaggy and Scooby are attached, then you would think I am kidding you, but no, that is the actual impetus of the action in the film. They are looking to take on investors. Oh boy. Simon Cowell is interested, but does not trust Scooby and Shaggy. I hate to disagree with you, juice, but I would say the driving force behind the film is the fact that Dick Dastardly wants to open a portal to hell so he can kill Satan and become Satan. So these are all real facts about Scoob. Gotta watch this fucking movie, Trav. You're going to catch the Feeve. Can we do a question? Hey, let's talk about,

oh boy. Okay, Travis, one more thing I will say. Okay. Of the mystery ink gang, which one do you think gets trapped in literal hell, sacrificing his soul for all eternity in this film? Who makes the decision to sacrifice their soul for all eternity? You know, it seems to me like Shaggy would be the most sacrificial lamb of the gang. So go on. I'm going to say Shaggy. Interesting. I can't answer that, but here's what I will say. It's not Scooby. And the problem I have with that is, as Sidney, one of the gang does this act of locking themselves in hell forever, so Scooby doesn't have to. And as Sidney pointed out, so astutely as we watch the film, Scooby is 10 years old at this point. Yeah. And a dog.

So it is. And the gang is in there like 18. Yeah. Sure. Yeah. I mean, that's grim, but come on, folks. And he is a larger breed as a great dang 10 is a long life. You hate to talk about that. And it's getting a little real in the studio. You hate to talk about it. All right, let's move on. But you would think, is there a point in the discussion, Justin, when they're maybe debating who will lock themselves in hell? And does anybody, and I'm looking at Daphne here, say he is a dog. He's an old, big breed. Let's, I don't know that maybe his soul is as important as our human soul. It's like a quarter of a human soul, I know, but we can, you know, the devil's not too discerning. Juice, read that first question, maybe.

Hello, brothers. Hello. I've gotten into beekeeping, and I love to spread the word about saving these lovely ladies and what people can do to help. The problem is I'm often patronized and called cute and adorable when I tell my new friends, just seeing what I do as a quirky trait and not taking me or my hobby seriously. How can I make people understand and take my passion of saving the bees seriously or make beekeeping seem cooler and saving the bees? Badass. Thank you for your time, beekeeper blues in Texas. Let's get down to bees-ness. Fuck. I think that it should be, I think that it would be easy to care around like one pamphlet that is like why we needs bees. And hand those out to people when they laugh at you and they're like bees aren't, anybody who says

bees aren't important right now isn't paying attention. Now, I will admit, I don't really know exactly why bees are important, but I think it's because it's something about the circle of life like bears eat honey and we need the bears to keep the coyote population in check. Something, something, something. The coyotes keep the bees in check. That's the cycle. It's more of a triangle of life. It's just bees, bears, and coyote. Man, I feel like I've never looked at somebody covered in bees in a beekeeping suit, like surrounded by these like delightful venomous insects and been like, that's cute. It's always been like, wow, that's, they're doing a scary thing, huh? They're brave. I think it's more, I think it's more of like, if you say like, we need to save

the bees. People see that and like, oh, that's, that's cute, right? But I think that the thing is, I think we can all agree. And we're just on three going to say it. In cinema, the coolest, we need to go save somebody and we're going to prep for it. Seeing in any movie, what's the movie guys? One, two, three, The Matrix. That's right. Sorry, there's lag. The Matrix. I said at the same time as you. They get all those cool shelves of guns. They go flying past them. They get the big bag. It's cool. Maybe more one of those moments, if you meet a new friend, you kick open the door and you come in, you've got one of those things that beekeepers use that like sprays smoke to like make the bee sleepy. And you bust in the door and you flip up your mask and like,

well, it's trying to save the bee. And you make it seem a lot more urgent. That's good. That this is saving the bees is not a passive action that we can take. It is in fact, an active action that somewhere there's a bee in trouble. And you need to go save that one bee, just one bee. Well, you start with one bee, Griffin. Listen, if you could save, if you go out there today and you could save just one bee, I wouldn't probably it's not enough. I know. And listen, I don't want to make it sound like I don't love these bees and value them and hate coyotes and I'm scared of them. So I need these bees. Like I recognize that. But one bee. How many bees do you think you need to save for it to be worth it to be like a good day? How far am I going? Am I

going like out in the street out in the front? Like I don't want to break break that that core. So like if it's just if it's just out my front yard. Yeah, I'd probably do one bee for my front. You do want to be. Yeah, but it's not going to feel like a full day. Would you be like, I'm going to go to bed early today. I wouldn't go to bed. I mean, it's fucking 1154 a.m. I wouldn't go outside save one bee and be like, time, time to call it. No, that's what I was asking. If you but what if you save like 1000 bees in the next 10 minutes? Can I say something though? Yeah, I don't think I want to save 1000 bees either because I love bees and I want to save them and I want them to be like cool and spreading flower juice and all that stuff. But I don't want 1000

bees near near me in uncontain. Like if I was a beekeeper and I had a little hive or a little one of those cool boxes, like cool 1000 bees love it. But like, I don't necessarily know I want 1000 bees in my neighborhood. I want to spread them out. Well, that's do you think that bees smoke or gas would get you fucked up? Oh, yeah. I mean, that's what it does to bees, right? Yeah, smoke some out. Yeah, smoke some out. Do you think that it do you think your friends might get into it if you you you also smoke them out while you smoked your bees out? Yeah, let's get faded with our black and yellow friends here. And we'll listen to some blind melon. Lovingness, Travis. Good. Good, Travis. Good, Travis. Everybody give everybody give Travis

the award now. Travis, there should be a certificate printing out from your computer. And we got and Travis, we got all the listeners to sign it for your. Oh, there's only five names on here. Yeah, they all stopped listening after that joke because they figured that was the series video. Oh, okay. Yeah. Let me ask you guys this. Let me posit something to you. The only ones left are just writing fan fiction extended universe. Someone walks up to you and observing six foot quarantine, of course, and says, Hey, I'm on my way to go kill a thousand bees. Yeah, you let me do that. I'll give you a hundred dollar bill. Would you let them? No, no, no. Okay. No, because I could sell 100 bees on the internet for more or 1000 bees on the internet for more than 100 bucks. You

know what I mean? They're not giving you the 1000 bees, Griffin. They're just telling you somewhere in the world, they knew where 1000 bees were, and they were going to go take them out. Yeah, no, I would ask them where the 1000 bees are. And then I would push them down and run much faster than them to capture the bees myself. And then I could sell them on the internet for more than $100. See, it was a trick. There were no bees. This was like a what would you do kind of situation. Okay, well, well, well, John can you nice, you now know what I would do is I would push them so fiercely over so that I could sell these 1000 bees on the internet. But if you would, if you had just taken the bees and not the money, I was going to give you a thousand dollars.

The fuck am I going to do with 1000 bees? Like in my life, you're not going to have the bees, Griffin. There were no bees. The bees were a ruse to see if you were a good person. Hey, Griff, can I have some of your bees? How many do you want? What? Travis, you're not a part, if you're going to, if this is the energy you're going to bring, Trev, you're not invited to my bee distribution party, my bee Tupperware party. Justin, how many bees do you need, Buck? 17 should cover me just for right now. 17, huh? We talking normalies? We talking drones? I want choice cut. I want choice cut. Okay, but do we want drones or workers or warriors or I'm not giving you my queen? Like that's, I'm not trying to get on your queen. No, no, no, but like,

do you want my drones or my warriors or my? Just, if you could give me three wizards, four druids and the rest just like barbarians or whatever. Now, do you want, if you want, I can do, if you kick that price up a little bit, we haven't talked price, but if you, I know if you kick it up a little bit, you will afford a stud. I do have one stud bee and this one. What's his name? Cause I'm actually kind of superstitious. His, his, his name is Chester Bigsting and he, this dude fucks like it's his job and he can get the, I guess make the queen's eggs grow, grow faster or make more of them. Hey, Griffin, sorry to interrupt. Whatever, Justin offers you for Chester Bigsting. I'll double it. Well, it would feel weird to sell

Chester Bigsting by himself without a, you know, a bunch of other sort of bees that he can really like to hide on. I'll take, I'll take 60 of your bees. 60 and Chester Bigsting? Yeah. Travis, steam your price. That's like 12 bucks, man. Oh shit. Uh, we take 11. Yeah. Yeah. I'll take 11. I can't believe you're letting him salt my deal after he was foolish enough to let these bees get away in the first place. I didn't realize it was a seller's market, Justin. Justin, the joke's on him. I'm just going to send them to him in one big sort of Manila envelope. There's no way these bees are going to survive that trip, man. Do you guys want a yahoo? It was a honey pot. That's funny.

Justin, check your, Justin, check your printer. Everybody's getting certificates, baby. You know what's weird is it actually, my printer is actually functioning right now. It's actually operating and I don't know why because it doesn't, it doesn't really work. It's not plugged in. It's not plugged in. No, it is plugged in. It's just no one ever prints anything, but for some reason there's something printing. Why is my wife printing behind my back? That is what I need to know right now, or have my kids learn to print off YouTube. I think it's going to start printing out YouTube flip books. They're probably just printing out really like rude comments about you. See you later, Cyan. Oh my fucking Cyan, Magenta's gone. How come it's, hey, printer

manufacturers, can we just call it blue and yellow? Thank you. Well, I mean, yellow is the other one and red, yellow is red. I think that's kind of fucked up. That Cyan and Magenta get to be these special, but it's not like end golden rod. So this hasn't been funny for a little while. So let's do a Yahoo. This one was sent in by Mike and it's an anonymous Yahoo Answers user who I'm going to call boom. Asked, why is mono Lisa so popular? My nephew could paint it. Huh. No one's ever talked so much about mono Lisa. Yeah. Just one of them. Just the one not stereo. I prefer stereo Lisa. I got in there before you did. So, that one's going to be tricky to edit that joke.

But it is just a painting of a sort of like somewhat pleased lady, just kind of sitting on a chair. And what's in the background of, without looking, what's in the background of mono Lisa? A field? I want to say it's a field. Justin, I hear you typing. Some houses. No, I'm not typing about that. I'm doing other work. Oh, cool. Then let's stop doing the fucking question. Justin, you unpack what kind of work you're doing right now, bud. You work on that spec script for young Sheldon that you've been talking about for so long? No. One of my kids has diarrhea. You were working on the diarrhea via your computer? You were typing into your science application trying to find a cure for diarrhea finally.

He did and he cracked it. You were punching code into your diarrhea fixing app and it was updating the algorithms. It's like a city, right? We're all guessing, right? I think I feel like I want to say columns on a hill. I want to say it's a garden seen through like an alabaster window. I'm going to look. I'm going to look, yeah. Now let's look and fuck. You know what? It's a map. It's a map? Yeah. Oh, it's a secret map. Hold up. A secret map. Griffin, are you not seeing this? Hold the fucking phone. Travis, what are you seeing in the map? I see there's a pathway. There's a mountain in the back. We've got to cross that river. The, yes. Absolutely. Okay. So you see, and you see the eagle there with the three arrows

in its claws. Absolutely. What those talons? Yeah. Yeah. Griff, what do you see? Travis, what else? Oh, you know, down here in the corner, it does say X equals three. I don't know. X equals three. Griff, are you seeing anything on your map? Oh, yeah, man. Mine is a funny mystery. There's a bridge. No. Fuck. No, I'm not seeing that. You don't see the bridge. No bridge. Travis, you don't see a bridge to you. No, I see a wormhole. No, Griff. Yeah. Okay. I got the wormhole. I got the wormhole. Griff, do you, uh, Griff, are you seeing anything else on there? Yeah, I see a really silly clue. No. No. I don't have that on mine. I have, Travis, I'm seeing your wormhole for sure. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh my God. I'm in it. Okay. I see you. I'm walking down the road.

I'm moving. I see you, Griff. Mona Lisa's a gift. Griffin, do you see yourself? I don't, um, no. You're on there. You're actually very prominent. You're doing jumping jacks and you look really cool doing it. Yeah, so I'm moving. So I'm looking cool. I didn't know that Mona Lisa like had movement. Yeah, it's a gift. Okay. Yeah. Yeah. The one I'm looking at is like moving. That's why it's so famous. You see any other things that could be clues on the map? I want to make sure you have the right, the right map that Travis and I saw. I see a calendar and I know everybody says no, no, no, no, no, no. There's no man. I sure would like to play along in this bit. I have funny jokes too, but, um, I guess I'll, uh, you got to keep good. I just want you to find the

right map because Travis and I are on it. We're finding this map. Oh, I wasn't looking at the right Mona Lisa. I think, okay, now I see all the great shit you guys have been talking about, the eagle, the wormhole, all that stuff. The Kathy cartoon. Yeah. The calendar that says 9-11 on it. Whoa, hold on. I still don't see the calendar. Oh no, actually now I see the calendar, but it does say 9-11, 2002. So, yeah. He was off a bit. That's when Shrek 3 came out. So maybe we've got. Is that true? Oh wait, was Mona Lisa just like native advertising for Shrek 3? It's anything's possible. This, at this painting, I do feel like it's fine. You guys are the only ones with a nephew because of my powerful seed. Um, I do feel like he could take a swing at this

though because it is just a lady can sit in front of this incredible map. And not even a, not even like the full lady and like legs are the hardest part. That's true. Legs and feet are super tough. The hands are like, a chump could draw these hands. The legs are in the sequel. It's hanging below. Yeah. That sounds cool. Yeah, it's funny. It's funny to think about. Yeah, the background is really pretty and it kind of looks like Mona Lisa got in the way of a really cool background he was painting. Can you please move? Please? She was like, no, I just got comfortable. I'm painting this beautiful garden. Or maybe there's like a horse there in the middle and he sucks ass at horses. Yeah. Like I never could do a horse. So if you

could please stand there. Perfect. Yes. Absolutely. Here's another question. At a bonfire at a friend's house last summer, I noticed that one of the beach towels they had laid out on the chairs eerily resembled a beach towel my family used to own. I can't get it out of my head that it's the same towel. Is there any way I can try to reclaim the towel or even ask about the towel without sounding like a towel obsessed creep? Maybe she stole it from me when we were 10 or maybe her mom got it at Costco or whatever. But it's a good towel and I want it back. And if she did steal it, is there an expiration date on towel theft? I think they probably don't mean expiration date. That's not the legal term, I think. Statue of limitation. I was going to arrest you for murder,

but it does say Best Buy 1022 2019. Beach towel burgled in BC, British Columbia. The thing is, is there is a beautiful country up there. A line of questions here that if you went even like one step too far, you're going to seem like a bonkers person. If you're like, I would say one step too far is the literal first step you might take in trying to retrieve this towel that you think your family used to take. That's true because even if you said that's a great towel and they're just like, this is like an old ratty towel that we've had for 10 years. What are you talking about? Yeah, there's lots of great towels out there. And if you hit me up on my Twitter DMs, I'll send you on your way towards Towel City. But maybe this towel has deep emotional

significance. Yeah, that was my fear as well. I remember having this when I saw an old picture from a friend's house and they had this blanket on a couch in the background that was a brown and tannish sort of very intimidating large tiger design. And then I remembered like, hey, that's my fucking blanket. And then I realized that this blanket was actually a very common blanket. I'm hoping I'm sending people down well right now. I did just Google it as the beater lack blanket. They are a company who made all kinds of just sort of big cat designs. We also had a bear, I believe. Yeah, probably from the same company. And I remember seeing that and I had like a full like panic like, what the fuck? Did you steal our incredible tiger blanket

without realizing like, no, there was a period where lots of people thought like, you know, it would go really well with my living room, a very large intimidating jungle cat. So that's possibly what has happened here as well. There's here in our home, all of all of our towels are on some scale of like, white, gray, dark gray, that kind of thing, right? And there's this one towel that is a different size than any other towel we have. And it's a dark blue. And neither Theresa nor I know where it came from. And the only thing that's a problem. Yeah, the only thing I can assume is that somebody came to visit our home and brought their own towel and left it guys. Yes, I can't with these fucking tiger blankets. I'm looking at this, guys. I want you to go on

this trip with me just and it's a visual trip. Maybe we can just sort of like explain it to the squad at home. Just like these are the these are big ass blankets. We're talking to the username one more time. The manufacturer beater lack B I E D E R L A C K. These are blankets that we have multiple of in our house. And I think lots of people did too. And these are the biggest, most noble, most proud, most strong jungle cats that your mind could possibly imagine the most proud and noble jungle cat you could possibly know this big blanket that I guess we would wrap ourselves up into feel the big cat's strength. It was such a common thing. These big powerful, powerful kitties. I'm now torn looking at it. So I want you guys to weigh in. There's two that seem very familiar

to me and one is kind of like tigers. It's like the tiger's head. It's like a bust of the tiger. It's just the bust of the tiger. Yes. That reminds me a lot of like the Cave of Wonders from Aladdin. That's very much the energy he's putting out. And then there's also one where the tiger, it looks like they're kind of walking towards the viewer. Like they're about to fuck you up. Maybe they're really surprised. They look their eyes are wide and they're about to fuck you up. So let's put that on the couch in the den. Their mouth is kind of going. Let's put that in the little boy's bedroom to scare him so terribly. Or maybe that was it. I'm afraid of zombies because we just played a scary video game. Well, get under the tiger blanket.

No undead creep is going to try and get you when this big powerful jungle cat's on you. Is that the one we had though? Which one is the one we had? It doesn't. That part doesn't matter. All that matters is that now all I want is a huge sinewy beast. They did do horse blankets as well, which I also specifically remember. Oh my God. I believe the one of two. Is this the Rosetta Stone for like the entire, our entire sort of deal? It might be. Oh no, that was the one we had. It was a, it looks like a mom and a cult. I'm going to order one of these. I'm going to buy one of these powerfully. These are fucking so inspiring. So anyway,

do you think it was our mom or our dad who saw the blanket with a tiger on it? They're like, Hey honey, this fucking wolf. It kind of really seems like a dad move. It seems like a dad move, but I don't know dad to be like a tiger. Or a blanket, man. Or a blanket, man. But mom's whole style was more like, oh, country kitchen and here's like some red apples. You know what? I got, we got to get him on the, we got to get him on the horn. We got to figure this out. Yeah. Let's call dad about this big blanket. I'm going to call dad real quick. Hold on a sec. I'm going to text dad a picture of the blanket too, because I know his old mind, his old mind is just a little gooey around the edges. Little gooey. Boy, dad's going to be so

confused when I send him this picture of a tiger without contact. Well, what if he sees it? It's like, that's a cool blanket. Oh, that's a, that would be a good test. We wouldn't even need to get him on the call. I just sent it to him and asked him, what's that do for you? Dad. Yes. There's no time. The tiger blanket that we had at our house. Do you remember the tiger blanket? I remember the tiger blanket very well. Yes. How the hell, sorry, Carol, did the tiger blanket get into the house? How did it make its entryway? We have theories that you bought it because you thought, look, Brad, my actual one that I'm going to sneak in there is maybe it was a noni gift. That is actually something that's feeling kind of powerful to me

now that I said it out loud. How did the tiger blanket arrive into our lives? Uh, you are correct about noni. You burned it and then you had to buy a new one because you're afraid she'd find out. No, she got it because I went to Iron High School, which was the fighting tigers. Okay. That was the last clue. That was the last piece of the puzzle. Okay. One time, noni sent us lunch meat coasters. I feel like we've talked about noni gifts before. Scented lunch meat coasters that smelled like the lunch meat itself. Yes. Oh, heinous. Okay. All right. Hey, Dad, thank you so much, bud. Thank you. Bye. Okay, he's gone.

That was, that was fascinating. Yeah. That was like our cereal. That was our cereal, yeah. And we solved it way quicker than they did. It says Daddy has gone away on the call, and that makes me really sad. Oh boy. Okay. Let's, let's share ourselves up with some money. Did you list him as Daddy in the, in the clear feed link? Okay. Could you, so this is fun. We're using a sort of new software to talk to each other. Maybe you've heard a, you know, an incredible, remarkable increase in the quality of the, the, the show since we switched over. But I see you do have me listed as DaGooch here. Like you picked the name DaGooch for me when you added me to the, to this session. I was wondering. When I add people, I can assign them

whatever name I want. Yeah. So I'm wondering what is, like I'm a professional. Yeah. And you, well, I got Travis at his Trump. Yeah. I don't care for that. Trump with an M. Trump. Trump. Okay. And I'm DaGooch. And I do see your listed as Justin McElroy. I don't have anybody to come up with a fun nickname for me. Okay. Well, next time, hit me up and maybe we'll come up with some other fun, garbage words that are insulting to your adulthood. Okay. DaGooch, can you read our first ad? Yeah, sure. You come DaGooch to reach your dad. I love it when he says it. Yeah. The history. Here come DaGooch to tell you about DoorDash. They specifically requested DaGooch to sound off on this one. DoorDash is going to get

you there with food to your door from restaurants, whatever you're craving. Right now, you can get it at your door with DoorDash. It's easy as heck to order. You just open up the DoorDash app. You choose what you want to eat and your food will be left safely outside your door with a contactless delivery drop off setting. A lot of your local restaurants that maybe you're not able to get into right now or you're not going to trying to respect social distancing guidelines. You can still get delivery from them. If you go open your DoorDash app, you pick your favorite local restaurant. Your food will just get dropped off right there at your dang door. And right now, listeners can get five bucks off their first order of $15 or more and zero

delivery fees for the first month when you download the DoorDash app and into the code Brother. That's $5 off your first order and zero delivery fees for a month when you download the DoorDash app in the App Store and enter code Brother. Don't forget that's code Brother for $5 off your first order with DoorDash. Hey, Justin, can I ask you a question? I love that, Trev. In your life, what would you say is the thing you're most proud of? Probably that at least half of my children seem to be decent human beings. Okay. For me, it's a website I made using Squarespace called Buttercup is a very good girl.com. That's a website I made. There's just a lot of pictures of my dog. There's even like

a flash game on there about how great my dog Buttercup is. And I was able to do that through Squarespace. And that's way better than any kind of kid or I don't know, joy you get from family or anything like that. Because Squarespace can showcase your work, sell products and services of all kinds, promote your physical or online business and more. You shouldn't be saying stuff like this. This is fucked up. It says it right there though. I didn't write that in the copy. Listen, I want everybody at home to know that Squarespace didn't write that. Travis is being pretty fucked up right now if you ask me. It says it right there in my copy. Do you not see it? Okay. I'm just saying I got Squarespace website about how much I love my incredible son.

And I know Justin has one also for my incredible son because he's really very powerful. Yeah, it's Griffin's incredible son, duck. Yeah, Justin, you've got to stop wishing that shit into existence. If I have to get it before the show goes out or I just won't do it. And they also have analytics that help you grow in real time, free and secure hosting and nothing to patch or upgrade ever. And it comes with a full gallery of pictures of Griffin's powerful son. He's mighty, guys. He's so fucking strong and he scares me with how powerful his muscles are. And no matter what your website is for, if you include one picture of Griffin's powerful son,

your website traffic will increase exponentially. Just be careful because I did play catch with him and he broke my collarbone. So go to squarespace.com slash my brother for a free trial and when you're ready to launch, use offer code my brother to save 10% of your first purchase of a website or domain. Squarespace, build it beautiful. Hey, I'm Janet Farnie, host of the JV Club podcast. Ah, high school. Was it a time of adventure, romance and discovery? Class of 95, we did it!

Or a time of angst, disappointment and confusion. We're all tied together by four years of trauma at this place, but enjoy adulthood, I guess. The truth is, it was both. So join me on the JV Club podcast where I invite some great friends like Kristen Bell, Angela Kinsey, Oscar Nunez, Neil Patrick Harris and Keegan Michael Key to talk about high school, the good, the bad and everything in between. My teenage mood swings are getting harder to manage. The JV Club, find it on Maximum Fun.

I got a yahoo or yeah, that sub was the other option. Can't make this theme song long enough to cover my hover purchase. Typing in my personal information. God, I can't take the risk that somebody else will get it. Now it's in my cart. I want a munch. Squat. Squat.

While I type in my credit card info. I want a munch. Squat. Good news, it's saved in there. I'm just clicking submit. Welcome to Munch Squad. It's a podcast within a podcast. And now we are headed into Munch Squad flashback, as I call it, which is a podcast within a podcast

within a podcast where we talk about the oldest and greatest in brand eating. I am so excited. Oh boy. I'm really excited about this one. And I have a huge debt to Kyle for sharing this with me because it is, God, what a treat. So the year, I want to take it back a little bit. The year is 2008. Okay.

And it's August, the dog days is summer, August 26th. But as the temperature is rising, so is the tide of rock and roll, which is experiencing a rebirth at Denny's. Denny's Paris with Rockers for new menu. Denny's is rolling out a new all night rock star menu. Top musicians such as, we're going to cover that in a moment, join Denny's to create the new Denny's rock star menu presented by Dr. Pepper. Quote, we teamed up with popular bands in an out of the box way to develop a menu by rock stars

for our rock star guests, says Mark Schmel, chief marketing and innovation officer for Denny's. Music and late night are part of the Denny's DNA. Denny's has been a late night destination for musicians, fans, crews and crowds for 50 years. So it is natural for us to have them create the meal they would most like to eat. Is the late night, the late night diner asked four of bands. That's what it said to cook up something special. Really? It says four of bands.

This is my favorite tarot card to cook up something special for the Denny's. 10 p.m. to 5 a.m. menu. The bands, along with Denny's culinary innovation chef, Andrew Dismore, what a thrill this afternoon must have been for Andrew, invented dishes that are ideal for late night dining with friends and groups. The new menu items created by rock stars include taking back bacon burger fries, created by New York based band taking back Sunday. Oh, it combines two of the artist's favorite foods,

bacon cheeseburger and loaded cheese fries. The plain white shake. By Chicago band of plain white teas, blends whole milk, vanilla ice cream, you know, shake shit. Heart on a Plate by California Rockers Eagles of Death Metal starts with heart shaped pancakes topped with raspberry sauce, heart fudge, strawberry, hot fudge, strawberries, white chocolate chips and whipped cream. The heart themed entree, a tribute to their soon to be released album,

heart on good for you Eagles of Death Metal, is served with crispy bacon and eggs in any style. The All-American SOS brings the timeless classic and hometown favorite dish of still water Oklahoma band, the All-American rejects to life with hamburger, cheese, grilled onions and gravy on top of Texas toast and hash browns. Um, Denny's is striving to appeal to late night crowd with a whole new vibe from 10 p.m. to 5 a.m. And this is pretty like you want to be careful if you're going with kids at 30 this time frame because in 2008 because it was pretty fucking nasty.

Right. They they featured alternative music, alternative rock music playing through the restaurant and servers sporting t-shirts and jeans instead of the usual uniforms. No, no, no, no, no, no, no. Whoa. To the t-shirt to the t-shirts at least say Denny's on them. So I do know I'm still in a Denny's. There's no way of knowing without a time machine.

In keeping with this rock and roll history, Denny's is also help in lending a helping hand to emerging bands through the adopt a band program. Oh boy. Bands can enter to become a Denny's adopted band. So I this site, which is Denny's all nighter.com no longer functions. But I did dip into the archive to just go ahead and see some of the bands like Cash Cash, William Control, The Sleeping, Bring Me the Horizon, Tickle Me Pink, You Me and Everyone We Know.

We're just the Den some of the Denny's sponsor bands. And this website is a blog of these these small bands eating Denny's all around the nation. And they would have like a fan meetup after a show. They just go to the local Denny's and have an after party. And there's pictures documenting people eating at Denny's with their fans. Damn, it's like I can taste the warped tour. I know. It's now here's I have great news for you.

Okay. This promotion was so successful that they went ahead and just did another round of people. They did a whole other round to add to the Rockstar menu. Some 41 made an unnamed French toast sandwich. Huh? They didn't go with Yum? Yum 41.

Yum 41. It's right there. Yum 41. Some 41 stopped by to make a French toast sandwich at the lab, the food lab. And miraculously, and I am so thankful to Internet for this. It did so many things wrong. But somehow the comments from this February 24, 2009 story, Art Still Alive, Rock and Roll Breakfast, Smile, OMG, that actually looks not bad.

I will have to try and make something like that sometime tomorrow. If I get around to it or remember it for that matter. Just go to Denny's. Just go to Denny's. They make it for you at Denny's. Dang. They're creative. That looks superbly good.

Cooking, even cooking looks fun when some 41 is doing it. Oh my God. Justin, are you going to go over the other menu items? Well, let's see. I will, here's the first thing I want to say is that taking back Sunday made another one. Yeah. Like apparently taking back Sunday was so deeply into this that they just like did another one. And it's called the Melty Grilled Chicken and Sausage Quesadilla.

They just kind of given up the conceit of making it be a part of their name also. At that point, taking back Sunday had just bought a couple Denny's franchises, and they were just looking to be successful. They weren't really worried about the tie-in so much as they're like, I think this will be a good meal at a fair price that people will enjoy. Boys like girls introduced a hot prime rib sandwich called the Great Egg Steak. Huh. And I do.

Let me just check and see if... Yes. Huba Stank serves up a burrito with crispy chicken strips, pepper jack cheese, cheese sauce fried onion crispers, and a hint of barbecue sauce. Serve a tortillas and a side of cheese sauce and ranch dressing. And yes, it is called the Huba Rito. Can I, can I say something? Hey, hey guys.

Maybe unpopular opinion? I'd fuck that clean up. Yeah. Hey, who knew? Hey, Huba Stank. You've devised a very clever burrito there. Yeah, who knew instead of polluting the airwaves throughout the 2000s, they should have been just making like drunk food apparently.

I would drink this one dead sober. I mean, eat it. I would drink it too. Hard pressed. If that's the only option available to me. Katy Perry also made a hot and cold cherry chocolate cappuccino. But how can it be hot and cold? Because let's check with Katy who said, quote, it's hot.

It's cold. It's a love affair for your taste buds. Yes, but I'm no scientist. But it says here that the multilayer... But then maybe you should shut your mouth because Katy is... But it's the concoction includes... I'm sorry Griffin, but the concoction includes vanilla ice cream, cold fudge.

Hot. And I think it's right. Like I've literally just shot your whole shit down right there, Dr. Scientist Travis. But and French and vanilla cappuccino seems to me like if you pour hot fudge and French vanilla cappuccino over ice cream, what you end up with is a pretty room temperature drink. I will also say that it would be wild to drink coffee and then encounter cherries.

There's a cherry in my coffee. That's very strange. But I guess Katy made that herself, so I'm not going to get all up on her rant about it. This website, there's not like a linear into it. Maybe if anybody else wants to dig in there to the Denny's All Nighter archive, some of our beloved listeners want to do that and let us know if you find anything else good, we'll be sure to pass that along.

But that is our much squad. I can't... Like everybody's hurting economically for sure. But it is a good way to remember that there was one point when people had, I think we all agree, too much money. Yeah. You know what I mean? Like they just had too much money.

So this kind of fixed that a little bit. Made them have less. You know what I mean? Yeah. Because we did have too much. I think... So less money in this sense is okay. I do think this is what inflation is.

Okay. Okay. Here's just a quick yahoo that several people sent in by one punch man. Thank you. Wait, that's who asked it. I don't want to thank them because they do ask, are hippos stab-proof? I heard the hippos are close to bulletproof.

So they could certainly shrug off a sword attack by a human, right? Now, there's a lot posited there. Yeah. Yeah. How could something be almost bulletproof? I don't want to celebrate the idea of hurting a beautiful hippopotamus. But I do enjoy the fact that they are apparently, they can't be killed with bullets.

There's almost like a... Almost. Almost. How do we measure that? I wonder. That's what I'm saying. How do you quantify? Is it like some bullets will hurt it and some won't?

Or it only hurts it a little bit? I feel like it gets shot a bunch. And then the doctor comes out and it's like, well, it was touch and go there for a while. I did think that it would survive. And then as it turns out, it did not. It was very close though. It was very close.

Or just a very unethical scientist lined up five hippos, shot five of them and two died. And they were like, well, damn, that's... I'm going to call it... That's pretty... That's more bulletproof than us humans are. So a sword attack. Hippos are dangerous, right? Like hippo...

And I don't... Oh, hippos are monsters. Yeah, I don't want to say much. That's why they have them on the Disney Jungle Cruise. Um, yeah, they... Yeah. And so I would argue you're not going to be able to get in there. Like you could have...

You could have a lot of like incredible sword technique. You've been studying the blade and the blockchain while the rest of us were partying. But I do think you get within a certain distance of one of these big, powerful beasts. And like you're just going to... That part of your brain, the sword fighting part of your brain is just going to like be completely overwhelmed by the part that makes you shit your pants and fall down. And I would change beast. The exact opposite would be true for the hippopotamus.

Because I don't believe that the hippopotamus would see you wielding a sword and think, oh no. Oh no, I should stay away. They would... I think in most situations, and maybe this is why hippos are dangerous, is that they just always have the thought in their mind of like, I'm... I got this. I'm so big. I'm a hungry, hungry guy.

I'm gonna munch that, dude. Apparently, hippo skin is very thick and, quote, resistant to puncture. So I guess it does come down to the sort of like sharpness. Uh, how about... Let's see, wait a minute. No, we're going to keep talking about this. Okay. I think we can all agree that the only way to stab a hippo is from the inside out.

Oh, like Ace Ventura. Fuck, I still bust the fuck up whenever I think about that scene. Always a rhinoceros, isn't it? Yeah. He climbs out the rhinos butthole, and, Justin, you've never seen any movie with Jim Carion. Now, he climbs out the rhinos butthole into a hippopotamus butthole. Right.

Forever, back and forth. Justin, I do want you to do this third question before we go, because I love it a lot. Well, we're already running long, aren't you? Oh, they're worth it, Juice. They're worth it. All right, all right, all right, just for you guys, just for our beloved fans. This one's for you, the fans. When I was in third grade, my school hello writing competition,

I submitted a story, and it was one of the winners. I got a $5 McDonald's gift card, and that was the last I thought of it. Until recently, when my old elementary school announced that they'd be releasing a book of all the stories that had won the competition as a way to look fondly on pre-quarantine times. The problem is, I plagiarized my story from an encyclopedia brown book. I changed the names of the characters, but it was still otherwise exactly the same.

The source green was reckless and thought of nothing of the consequences, but now I'm afraid the story will be released and everybody will see what a fraud I am. How do I stop my story from being released without raising suspicion? That's from plagiarist in Pennsylvania. Holy shit. I'm going to see if Donald J. Sobel's still alive. If he's been dead for seven years, technically, I think you can't plagiarize him anymore. Pretty sure that's how copyright law works.

Ah, but you're not thinking about the expiration of the crime, Griffin. Hey, great news. Donald J. Sobel is dead. No, wait, eight years ago. So it's, okay, that's fine. Your money, baby. So that's fine. Legally, you're in the clear.

Let's talk about ethics and morals. Yeah, I think that is actually not great news that Donald J. Sobel is not dead. I'm sorry I phrased it the way. I don't want people to take that out of context. Listen, you're about to have a great shame brought upon your house, and I don't know, like, what else to say. Like, there's no way to get around that. Like, you can't go to the school and hack into the transcript.

Like, you can't, there's, that, that ship has sailed. You fucked up so bad so long ago, and there's no way to put more English on the ball. Could you blame it on Donald J. Sobel and say that he must have gotten a hold of your rough draft and published it? Interesting. Sealing your story. Yeah, you're gonna have to. This isn't great.

Listen, I love Encyclopedia Brown. I love Donald J. Sobel. I hate to, but I'm saying you could pin it on him. Yeah. That would be a real bug-zmini thing to do, though. I think that if you do plant, and God, I really don't want to besmirch this dude's name, but if you do plant the $5 McDonald's gift card in his desk, it's going to be a confusing clue, but the police, I think, any detective worth their assault is going to find that and, you know,

figure out the frame that you're putting together here. You're probably going to have to fake your own death. Yeah, it's over free. Yeah, that's a good note, Trev. It's probably time no matter what you do to start taking stock of your life as it is now, and start sort of wrapping up some of your affairs, because your life won't really resemble what you know right now. It'll be a very different life that you'll be leading,

and I think that it's good to be prepared for that. Yeah, good idea. That excites me on a very personal level. You should email your teacher and be like, oh, that's great. I've actually done a few edits to that draft, and I think honestly- I've been working on it for the last 20 years. Yeah, and I think that you're honestly pretty fucked up for you to put out my first draft of it, and here's a new version of it,

and your new version of it could be a completely different thing. Now, what excites me is I would love to take another pass at Grand Andrews Kid Cop. I've had some ideas about Grand Andrews Kid Cop that I think could really flesh out the lore. I would probably remove all of the references to Jet Moto, a very unsuccessful PlayStation 1-era racing game. That one can probably hit the bricks. This is going to get you out of the scrape, but it's also going to allow you to punch up your work,

although actually your work was stolen, so you will maybe make it worse. Definitely make it worse. There's no question about that. Thank you so much for listening to our podcast. We hope you've enjoyed yourself. We are sure happy that you're with us. We know that podcast listening time is a bit catty-wompous right now, so we very much appreciate that you've carved out the time to experience our program.

We wrote a book with our dad. It's called The Adventure Zone, Pedals to the Metal. It comes out in July and pre-order it now at theadventurezonecomic.com. We have merchandise. We have our summer stickers. If you want to buy some of those, macaroymerch.com. We got some fun stuff there if you want that. I want to thank John Rodgerick in the Long Winters

for the use of our theme song and to departure off the album, Putting the Days to Bed, which you can go listen to at any time and no one can stop you. Also, MaxPunFun. What? MaxPunFun. You know what? I will plug something. Griffin and I make a video series called Monster Factory. If you've never watched it, it's on our YouTube channel. Just search YouTube for it.

I think our new one's really funny. It just came out last week, so if you want to watch it, it's based on Dark Souls 3. It's an adaptation of Dark Souls 3. I enjoyed it. I watched it. I watched it. I also listened to Besties, the video game podcast that Justin and Griffin do,

along with Russ Freshdick and Chris Plant, which is a Spotify original that I enjoy very much. And I listen to it as soon as each episode comes out, though I have many feelings on the Bioshock episode that we will talk about off mic. We'll unpack that later. I also wanted to say, coming up on June 6th at 1 p.m. Eastern Time, I am going to be doing a live stream, Dungeons & Dragons session, along with Will Rowland, Alex Boniello, and Andrew Barth Feldman,

who you may recognize from Dear Evan Hansen on Broadway, as well as Matthew Mercer, Erica Ishii, and Satine Phoenix, who you might recognize from the world of actual play podcasts. We're going to be playing D&D and raising money for the Actors Fund, as well as Feeding America. And I'm going to be DMing. You can watch that. It's going to be on a Twitch channel.

So the whole thing is called Supporting Roles, R-O-L-L-S. And you're going to be able to watch it on our Twitch channel, twitch.tv slash supporting roles. And you can go donate now if you go to bit.ly slash supporting IgG, all lowercase. And that's our Indiegogo. And there are some reward levels there like you can name NPCs, you can name the tavern we meet at,

you can like spring surprise monsters on the players, you can give them magical items, all kinds of stuff. Or you could just like donate if you wanted to. So go check that out. And that's going to once again be June 6th, 1 p.m. Eastern Time. Cool. I would love to read a final Yahoo, but I have just actually found a link to a recipe recreating

the Denny's Huberito experience. I wish that, can I just read that? Like I could take a passage of just reading that. And seeing like, so you need a half cup of chicken breast and you're going to want that to be shredded up. You're going to need some cheese, it's just says cheese sauce. This doesn't seem like a very good recipe. I'll get back to y'all.

We'll come up with our own Huberito recipe and get back to y'all. But here is another, this one's a real Yahoo that was sent in by Paul, thanks Paul. It's from Yahoo Answers user Asep, who asks, Is it true that dogs lick us because we have bones inside of us that they want to eat? My name is Justin McElroy.

I'm Travis McElroy. I'm Griffin McElroy. This has been my brother, my brother, me. Kiss your dad, square on the lips. Hey, girls, do you want to say, hey, I want her? 10 years of production, Judge John Hodgman has finally won. Comedy writer and television personality, John Hodgman settles disputes between friends,

family, coworkers, partners, and more. Is the machine gun a robot? Should a grown adult tell his parents about his tattoos? Should a family be compelled to wear matching outfits on vacation? Listen to Judge John Hodgman to find out the answers to these age-old disputes and more. If you haven't listened to Judge John Hodgman, now is a great time to start.

Judge John Hodgman is available on MaximumFun.org and wherever you get your podcasts.