My Brother, My Brother And Me - MBMBaM 524: Teen Beans

Episode Date: August 25, 2020

We’re plugged in, okay? Obviously. Like, when young folks see us, they know we know what’s up. We’re cooking beans over roaring campfires like, every weekend, so please don’t pretend that we��re not.Suggested talking points: The Jokering, The NCIS Thinking Hat, The 311 Dragnet, Cowboy Parent Shame, Farewell Food Friends, Good-Feeling Body Juice, Products for Wood EnthusiastsFor more ways to support Black Lives Matter and find anti-racism resources: https://blacklivesmatters.carrd.co/Donate to the Milwaukee Freedom Fund in support of the protesters in Kenosha: https://supportwomenshealth.salsalabs.org/mkefreedomfund/index.htmlSupport the California Wildfire Relief Fund: https://www.calfund.org/wildfire-relief-fund/Register to vote: https://vote.gov/

The McElroy brothers are not experts, and their advice should never be followed. Travis insists he's a sexpert, but if there's a degree on his wall, I haven't seen it. Also, this show isn't for kids, which I mentioned only so the babies out there will know how cool they are for listening. What's up, you cool baby? Hello everybody and welcome to my brother. My brother means advice show for the Madrenera. I'm your oldest brother, Justin McElroy. I'm your middleest brother, Travis McElroy. I'm your sweet baby brother, Griffin McElroy. Exciting news boys. They're finally doing it. They're making a movie about Batman. I have heard about this guy, so he's like a cop, right?

He wears a silly costume and I can't make heads or tails of this fucking thing. He's kind of an amateur detective, right? Because he's not sanctioned. By anyone. So he kind of is taking the law into his own hands, but here's the thing. Now, I thought that's what the law was doing already. It's weird, yeah. It's like confusing. And add on to that, he dresses up as a whimsical character. I assume for merchandising reasons? That's crass. That's cynical, Travis. Mine might just be copyright. I don't know, but they're making a movie about him. There's a guy asking some questions, and the Batman is trying. Can you give me an example of the questions you would ask a Batman?

Well, he's just kind of like, who are you, Batman? And he's like, I can't tell you. That's the whole point. That's why I wear the mask. Hey, it's not fair that you don't use your real name. I agree. You know, he's looking for Harvey Dent. He knows Harvey Dent's name. He knows Harvey Dent's name, but people aren't like, and what's your name? And he's never like John or whatever his name. I don't know the guy's name. Yeah. I also, here's the other thing that is weird. And maybe I'm not, I'm not understanding that. He doesn't use his real name, I guess, to protect those he loves, but he also doesn't seem to love anybody. So what? Just call, then just call yourself John Richards or whatever. I don't know the man's name.

I don't know what he's protected. Do you think that Batman would have the same weight if he were like, why don't you reveal your secret identity? And he actually had to save the straight face to protect my butler. Yeah, right? I don't want to. I have a really nice house. And I do. Oh, he's wealthy. I have a nice house and a cool butler and I don't want either of them to get messed up. I'm worried that people will throw eggs at my house. What's he got? He's got like, strong, strong bones or like hover jets or he's got good brain. Oh, yeah, he's got a real good brain. And he's got some cash on hands. He's got a lot of liquid assets. Don't you think that the guy, do you think criminals would be like, even more intimidated

if they knew that even if they beat the Batman up in a fight, he could still buy their grandma's house and knock it down? Or at the very least, he probably has access to high power lawyers, you know? Yeah. Oh, the Joker beat up the Batman again. And now Batman is suing him. Wait a minute. Wait a minute. And then he's going to put him in jail for damages, for his negligence. Now, hold on. You're telling me this guy knows the Joker from the movie The Joker with Joaquin Phoenix? They know each other in passing. They have a certain familiarity with one another. I wouldn't say they're intimate. I'm real in, man. I'm all in. Now I'm in. You remember in The Joker, remember a couple of times he met the little kid dressed up like a bat? Yeah. Well, he doesn't

grow out of it like everybody in the movie says he's going to. He just sticks with it. He sticks with the whole bit. This is a spin off. Yes. It's a spin off of The Joker. Maybe a, I don't know, spin off a sequel. They're going to make a sequel to The Joker, right? It seems inevitable. They got to and made a billion dollars. Can I give you guys a, I'm going to give you guys a pitch. Okay. Kick. Kick. Jokers. Oh. Huh. And yeah. And so he just makes other ones by biting them. He finds common criminals, bites them, turns them into jokers, creates an army of jokers. Isn't this one of the games? I think this is a Batman Arkham game. Still no Batman. No, no, no. There's no Batman. He just makes more and more jokers and they get more and more powerful.

And then if they, if they, let me ask you a question, Justin. Yeah. And just to like punch it up a little bit and add a little bit of that Griffin's zest and spice to the pilots you're always whipping up is if those, if those jokers bite other people, do they then also become jokers? Uh-huh. Yes. You're getting it. That's a little bit. You're getting into act three. I did want to reserve some of this for, for, you know, the, the, our pitch meetings. But yes, that is, we could do like a, I mean, we may be touching a live wire right here, but it could have a little bit of like coronavirus commentary. Oh yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Hey, can we punch up a little, can I punch up a little bit? Can I just do a little punch up? Wait, wait, wait. I just want

to stick with this carnival. No, no, I'm going with it. No, but I got the mask. The mask has big smiling faces on it. Okay. What if, what if the ending is that now he sees the evil he's created and he turns good to fight the other jokers? No, no, no, no. And the, and okay. So maybe he and Spiderman team up and they fight carnage together. Can you stop saying dumb shit? What if the Joker turns into Batman? Shit, that is good. The Joker turns into Batman at the end of jokers. And it's like, this is where I came from. I have to set right. What was what wrong? And then Alfred turns into Joker in the past. That's what's the hardest is Batman's got a steak outfit. Yeah. But it's a time loop thing. And, and like, it's a whole thing. And the problem is like

you're selling it. Turns out Alfred's biting people. I turned them into butlers, which is peculiar. Hey, can I hold on? Let me just step out of the bit for a second. Who is Zach Snyder? And why should I care so much about this man's cut? I will, I will admit to not watching any of the DC superhero movies since I did see Man of Steel after drinking two mimosas and probably fell asleep for one and one half hours in the theater. I fell asleep after drinking too much booze and Man of Steel too. It's a fantastic experience, bad film. And from what I can tell, the rest of them have been quite bad too. So as I can tell, Zach Snyder is either the writer, director, maker of some of these films. And people really think he got the shaft on his cut, which I guess means the

edit, or there's extra bonus scenes with Superman, but he's bad. I don't know, man. I can explain it to you. Please. But do keep it short. Let me, I feel like a voice box for our audience, and I only barely give a shit about this. Okay, I can explain it in like 30 seconds. Okay. You know how everyone walks out of every movie saying the problem with that movie was it was too short and that's why it wasn't good. And I would like that movie more if it was like an hour and 20 minutes longer. Yeah. That's the Snyder cut. It's almost three hours long. Fuck yeah, baby. That's what I want. Yes. And they added in unfinished scenes that they spent $30 million to finish. Okay. Okay. All right. Why didn't they finish on the first go around Zach? That seems like

you fucked up, pal. Yeah. The assumption with the Zach Snyder cut, and I can sort of boil it down for you. Please. The assumption being made by the fan base of the Snyder cut is that a man who has not made a good film since 2004 is Dawn of the Dead did actually secretly make a good film. Yes. And that and Joss Whedon messed it up. That Joss Whedon. Against all odds, inspirationally, had not managed to make a good film for 15 years, but did do it. And then it was taken away from him for being too good. I understand that the point is that Joss Whedon fucked it up real bad. Fucked up the work of the director of the Legends of the Guardians, the Owls of Gaul. Yes. Is that the visionary behind Sucker Punch would have nailed it. But instead, Joss Whedon, Zach Snyder had to step

down because of, I believe, a death in the family. But then Joss Whedon came in and fucked it up real bad. Right. And so then Zach Snyder came back in and reinjected an hour and 20 minutes about into the movie. And now it's great. Okay. All I needed was that Owls of Gaul. That was really the Codex that unlocked this entire sort of mystery for me. So now I'm fully pumped and I've got my digital reservation ready to go on my Roku. Should we do some questions? I'd love that. This is an advice show. Obviously. Obviously. There is a Snyder cut of this episode. Yeah. Which is a joke that would have been funnier three months ago. Indeed. And not a joke. My boyfriend's birthday is coming up and he has previously requested a specific hat from a TV show he likes.

Just say Jane's hat from Firefly. Just say it. The problem is we live together because of the global pandemic. We're always together. How can I make him a hat without noticing Secret Knitter? Okay, it is Jane's hat. Yes, it is. Absolutely. 100%. Can you guys think of another notable TV hat? Another notable TV hat. Knitted. Especially knit. Another notable knitted TV hat. Except for Castle's Beret from Castle. Obviously. That's obviously out. There's the NCIS thinking hat. Yeah, that's true. And that's the one that they, when they're having a really tough time with the murder mystery or whatever on NCIS, then the one, the lady who wears a sort of gothic aesthetic goes into the box where they keep the NCIS thinking hat and they call it that.

And there's the one that Lucifer wears in Lucifer and it's like a knitted viking helmet that he puts on every time he has sex. And he calls it my sexy time viking hat, which isn't good. It's not a good, but it's like three times an episode it comes up. He's, okay, now Joe Montaigne in the hit series Criminal Mind. Every once in a while he says, bring me the Criminal Mind hat. And that's how he gets into the criminals head. It's a sort of a, how would you, it looks like kind of a beer, one of the beer drinking hats, but it's completely knitted. So that could be the hat they're dealing with. And you know how in The Good Doctor he asks for his hat, but it's just, it's just kind of like a mask that makes him look like the anonymous guy, makes him look like Guy Fox, but it's knitted.

Yeah, that show got really hacker, hacker-y. Yeah, it turned really hacker-y. Yeah, it was weird. Well, there's the justice hat from Night Court. Of course. Of course. How can you knit in private a secret knitting? Wow, you're on the turlet. On the turlet. That's high stakes, isn't it? Knitting is a very... Yeah. The problem with this is if you haven't... What happened? What the fuck just happened to you? Well, I was thinking about knitting on the turlet, and then I thought, flip your microphone upside down. Yeah. Then I thought, what happens if you, if your boyfriend knows that you're kind of a fast bathroomer, right? And now you're in there for like 20 minutes at a time. You're going to have to develop a condition. Whoa, sorry, NBC just

referenced our meme. That's so strange. What? At the NBC Twitter account just tweeted, we are very uncomfortable with the energy we've created in the studio today, which is a TikTok meme from the MbamBam TV show. That's so weird. I'm sorry, everybody. That really derailed us, but like... Well, let's talk about this. Let's speak on this. The other thing we were doing was interesting. Let's speak on this, NBC. Let's speak on it, yeah. Hey, so we've interrupted the knitting question. Do it on the toilet. Travis got it in one. NBC has just tweeted, we are very comfortable with the energy we've created in the studio today, and then a link to a video about office. Right. So they take it and they've turned it.

They're comfortable. So what is it? Does the TikTok mean from the hit series? Now, okay. Here's the weird fucking Thoroboros that I do not even know that NBC knows that they have bit into. They have referenced the TikTok based on a TV show. Uh-huh. That they are unknowingly accidentally made. That they secretly own. They own. They own that meme. Oh, that's good shit. And they have once again bit into the McElroy Apple with our, the work we are doing with them on a Taz animated series on Peacock, which is definitely coloring every word of what I've been saying for the past couple of minutes. And that's why I'm a big fan of this. A big fan of this. I love to see that NBC has, is kind of

one of the weirdest relationships in entertainment, I think, us and the NBC brand. Wouldn't you say that that is true? Yes. You know what? Good in a weird, weird in a good way. When NBC picked back up or picked up Brooklyn Nine-Nine because they were like, Mike sure belongs here. This is Mike sure is home. That's kind of like us, but it's like they keep finding us in the attic. And they're like, I guess this is the McElroy's home. I get it. Did we not get rid of the McElroy? I thought we got, no, they're still okay. Cool. Great. Yeah, we are worthy. We're the salamander under the couch. You saw it run out the front, but was actually in the vent the whole time. They're back. Let's try to make a cartoon of them, I guess. Can you knit

together the hat in small quadrants? You knit a 16th of the hat and he's like, what is that? And you say a coaster, right? And then you can knit those 16 pieces together to make the hat and then you can kind of divide up the work and it's never completely obvious what it is that you're making. Oh, but that takes so much. And also during the interim, in the interim you have so many coasters. But then you got to really line that up. That's going to take a lot of precision because if you do it in like 16 pieces and even the scale is slightly off on some of them, oh boy, it's going to look silly. You've got to do it all sort of separate. Oh, you know what you could do? You know how sometimes businesses will ship things separately from internationally to

try to skirt tariffs. They do like tariff engineering by dismantling something into separate components. We all know those before they're assembled. That's basically what you could do with this hat, just leave different sections of it lying around the house. And oh, that was just like a scrap project I did. And then one furious night, you assemble all of the pre-knitted pieces. I also, for the record, do not know how knitting works. I should have established that earlier. Fish like candy to my soul. Didn't we just do it? Fish you rock and fish you roll. It feels like we just did. Lost for you and I'm so lost for fish. David. And you come fish into me. Did you change the name of the segment, David?

And I fish into you. We fucking get it, Dave Matthews, man. Let's start the quiz. Hi, it's me, your host, the host of Under the Table and Fishing, America's number one game show about Dave Matthews' band and fish. Sorry, right now. Are you Travis or Dave Matthews? No, I'm Travis. Now, you can tell because I sound like Travis and I'm Dave Matthews. I'm the co-host. Oh, thank you for having me again. This is my court ordered community service. No, okay, Foghorn Leghorn Matthews. Where am I from? Nobody knows. Under the table and frying. Very good. You want to tell them about the twist this week? Yes, thank you, Dave. And this week's Under the Table and Fishing, as always, I will be reading you lyrics from Dave Matthews' band and fish,

and you'll be trying to guess who did what. But this week, there will also be one lyric by the band 311 thrown in there. You stinker. And you'll have to identify that. I don't want to make it too easy for you or the folks at home. Let's go. Okay. Don't let it get away. And if we did, we're going to get it back. And in time, you and me, we will, we will, we will, we will be over and again and again. Jesus Christ. Fish. I'm going to say fish. I'm going to, this is a, this is, this will be a wild move on your part, but I'm going to start out guessing 311. No, I'm sorry. That is Dave Matthews' band. How did we both fuck that up? The Dave Matthews experience. Okay. Next,

coconuts and clover form, some liquor and some cork, toxic waste, some purple paste. She hopes was not explosive. Fish. Fish. That is fish. That is Reba. Yeah. By fish. I need to start identifying something as fish or not fish. I think it's the introduction of Dave Matthews' band that is messing me up with my head because I, the fish ones are pretty obvious. I need to just start there and work backwards. Okay. You're, you're there. I'm here. Let's dance, my dear. What's your name? How do you do? What's the game? Hallelujah. Dave Matthews' band? I'm going to say 311. That is Dave Matthews' band. Nice job, Griffin. That girl was you. Yes. This is Dave Matthews again. What I realized helping Travis put together this quiz.

My lyrics are dumb. Now don't say, Dave could be listening. I'm right here. A lot of people like Dave Matthews' band. You're fucking self included. Okay. Tell me you've never looked at ants differently. I do. Man, don't get me wrong. I guess they are marching folks at home. I love Dave Matthews' band. Okay. Okay. Well, I don't, but I bet every time I do get indigestion, Rachel does get very annoyed that I instantly just go, hi, turn back. That's great. Don't you rob yourself of what you're feeling. Don't you rob yourself of all that you could be. Roll hard till midnight. Roll till it's light. Fish. Oh, now hold on. That's interesting. Is that one 311? No, that one is Dave Matthews' band.

They're so right. This is so hard. Griffin is one up. Griffin is one up. Where is the Joker? Have you seen him around with his three coneed crap? Excuse me. His three coneed cap that he wears like a clown. Batman. Well, that's not one of the options, Justin. Weirdly, am I saying Batman? No. Fish. God, it feels like fish, but I think it's one of those trick fish. This is 311 writing in the mode of fish as a pastiche. In their fish period. To fish. It is fish. Two up for Griffin. Or it could be so 311 writing so well. It could be fair. I don't know who wrote these songs for fish. 311 wrote it for fish. Sweetly. This is our cover of the 311 song. We are the band fish. Let us begin our concert.

Sweetly, in every way that you treat me, a fish story, but you know that it's picture perfect. Our morning glory every time that we wake. The morning ride is the longest ride. Take it. Now you said the word fish in there to try and try and catch us up, didn't you? I can't answer that. Fish has written some truly rough lyrics in the past. I do not think that they would do that. I also didn't get a day vibe from that. So I'm going to actually, I'm going to put 311. That is 311. Yes. That is the 311 very well. We got 311 in the fucking dragnet. Okay. I'm building you a pyramid with limestone blocks so large. I drag them from the mountaintop. You'll need a two car garage. That feels Dave Matthew. No, fuck. Fuck. You read

it again. That's really hard. Yes. I'm building you a pyramid with limestone blocks so large. I drag them from the mountaintop. You'll need a two car garage. See, that doesn't feel like Dave to me. There's no more 311, right? You can give me that guarantee. That's fish then. I agree with Griff. That is fish. Okay, one more. Yes. Okay. Oh, hold tight because the road can be a crazy ride and I know we're going to be all right because you are here with me. Dave. Dave. That is Dave Matthews. Well done, boys. Well done. I feel really weird about how good I did. Yeah. I think you won the last time too, Griffin. Yeah, he won the last time as well. I like this bit because I've finally found something I'm good at. Why are you so good at Under the Table and Fisher? I don't

know. I don't really like any of the bands involved. Can I do a Yahoo? Yes. I love that. Thank you. This one was sent in by Aaron. Thank you, Aaron. It's anonymous Yahoo answers user who I'm going to call. Well, somebody responded to it and their name is Deadpool, which is fucking cool and funny. So Deadpool asks. I'm going to kick Deadpool's ass. Do you remember that? One time we were at a hotel and there was a conference going on and someone was on the 10th floor looking out the window and they saw someone cosplaying as Deadpool and just said, half to themselves, I'm going to kick Deadpool's ass. Yeah, it was at Comic-Con and there were so many people there and it's like, we're on the 10th floor of the hotel. How are you going to get down there and

find that Deadpool? And why? That specific Deadpool. There's other Deadpool at a Comic-Con. There's 50,000 fucking Deadpool's here. How are you going to find that? What did that one Deadpool do to you? Is that the real Deadpool and your Deadpool's enemy? Whose name? I don't know. Anyway, where's the Deadpool? The Zack Snyder Deadpool. Deadpool asks. Just when I thought cowboy culture was dead, it only seems to be growing, agree slash disagree. Growing up, my friends were ashamed of their cowboy parents. Hey, son, you want me to come in to career day? No, dad. No, please. I can do some of molesto tricks. No, mom's shit. Come on. Now, growing up, my friends were ashamed of their cowboy parents. They refused to dress cowboy-ish

and made comments like, I hate country music, but now they are older, most of them with families. I noticed now they changed and have accepted the cowboy lifestyle. They now dress in cowboy clothes and listen to country music. Have you noticed this or is this just something that happened in my city? That's from Deadpool. No, it's definitely all over. I've seen that all over. You know, you get these punk kids. Yeah, when they're like 18, you know, they're getting tatted up and pierced all over. But then by 36, it's a bow low ties, maybe. Yeah. Yep. They're wearing Stetson's. They're wearing some some Dan's boots. Getting close. Getting close with the Lord. Getting close with the Lord and enjoying country music. Little Carrie Underwood.

I bet they enjoy. And they do not like it when you take their cows. And they're like, I don't like it when you take their cows. I burned that cow's skin. I put a hot piece of metal on that cow. It's mine, but I see it on your lawn, Dave. I was going to eat that cow later, and you took them. So now I have to get you. And now do you want some of these beans in the meantime that I've been cooking over this open fire? That's huge now. Holy shit. Let's put jokes away for a second. Oh, yeah. Teens are cooking beans on campfires. Yeah, right. Teens on beans. They're called teen beans. Yeah. And they're full of protein and actually really good on the glycemic index. Yeah. So that I love. I saw on Facebook though that it was leading to a lot of

injuries and like kids. So fuck that. I think it fucking sucks that like beans come up organically. And you know what a big part beans play in my life. And I've probably got a lot of good bean material saved up. And the fact that you would just trample me like that is extremely hopeful. He's the beans man. He's the beans man. I'm sorry I trampled your beans. I just have so many great insights about beans. Yeah. Yeah. Okay, see I was taking it on like a tide pod way. It's like eating a thousand tiny loaves of bread. Really? See Travis, let's just sit in it for a second and let Justin sort of dump his beans. I'd love to sit in some beans. Yeah, well maybe that time I told Patch Adams my dream was to sit in a swimming pool full of beans. Yeah. Why did you do

that? Because I'm nasty. You asked us if you should do that. And when you said no you know what's going to happen. He's going to make you sit in beans and then you're going to get in and you're going to instantly realize oh I don't like this and he's going to make you stain it till you're better. I know for a 100% fact two things. Uh-huh. One, our audience has never seen the film Patch Adams. Two, we have definitely talked about the scene at Patch Adams where he allows an old woman her life's goal of sitting in a vat full of noodles. That is true. These two things and I had no third thing. I have a new joke about it. Okay. How long did that old lady, do you think after five minutes she was like I know this probably took a long time to engineer but I'd

like very much to get out of the noodles now. If that would be okay. I think if she made it five minutes that's a triumph of the human spirit because I would get in and be like there's not a lot to do now. Okay. And now what do I do? Yeah. What's next for me? One time I went into like a resale shop to look for furniture for the theaters or can't and they had a bunch of TV set up for sale and like you do at like a lot of electronic stores they had like a movie playing on it and the movie they were playing on it was Patch Adams and it was such an interesting choice to me because they were like you know it's going to get people really hyped to buy these TVs. It's going to really show the top quality of these TVs and get people energized. Patch Adams.

And so there was just a row of 20 televisions all showing Patch Adams. One time I was in the waiting room and while my oil was getting changed and they were showing Hancock. Nice. There's not anything else that I have to say about that. It's a badass flick. I enjoyed it. Superheroes. But he's not good. He's not nice. We've also talked about Hancock before so let's maybe. We've talked about everything before though. We can't just stop. I'm talking about cowboy culture. Thank you. Listen I wasn't ashamed of our cowboy parents. I thought I thought they were I thought they were putting in honest work to raise their family and you know what you know what I appreciated.

Dad's best friend was this horse and like yeah the relationship and people have asked us time and time again what's the deal with you guys and horses and that's really it is you know there was there was Uncle Honey and he was around all the time and we love that guy you know and sometimes dad let him babysit or take the car out when he had big plans and the horse. Yeah we knew growing up and this was fine with us. We knew that if you asked our dad to list his great loves of his life we would be three. Mom would be two. The open prairie at dawn would be number one. Absolutely. That's our dad's heart. Our dad's heart is in that that wide open trail and the promise of fortune and misfortune that is imbued within. And do you guys remember

when dad retired from being a sheriff and moved to that town because he wanted to make some money not in the gold trade but rather selling equipment to people in the gold trade but the town was so lawless that he was forced to take up the badge again and become the law in that town and I respected that. Yeah I did. I understood it too for sure. Yeah. Fucking hated bad mustache man though. You remember when dad had to fight bad mustache man did not like him to keep his city safe and he made six cool friends and they were they were magnificent and that's it and then I've run out of cowboy references. I did yeah. Do you remember when dad played for the Dallas Cowboys. But then he broke his shoulder had to retire. Remember when our dad played cowboy Curtis. Yeah. Do you remember when our

dad was a young male cow. Yeah. Gosh. Okay. So what do we want to do. You guys want to do another question. You want to go to the money. What's what are you all feeling right. That was such a good money zone handoff and you've botched it. You have dropped the ball just like our dad did in Super Bowl 36. Okay. Okay. Remember when our dad got really good at bebop. Shut up. Shut up. Our dad works at a drugstore now. It's a very different lifestyle. Okay. Now we are going to go there. The money zone. It's more important than ever to use the postal service. There I said it. Support the postal

service and you can do that without even leaving your home by using stamps.com. With stamps.com you can print postage on demand and avoid going to the post office. Stamps.com also offers UPS services with discounts up to 62 percent and no residential surcharges. Simply use your computer to print official U.S. postage 24 seven for any letter any package any class of mail anywhere you want to send it. Once your mail is ready just leave it for your mail carrier. Maybe with a little note that says thank you so much we couldn't do this without you schedule pick up or drop it in a mailbox. It's that simple. And with stamps.com you get great discounts to five cents off every stamp and up to 60 percent

off UPS and UPS shipping rates. Right now our listeners get a special offer that includes a four week trial plus free postage and a digital scale without any long-term commitment. Just go to stamps.com click on the microphone at the top of the homepage and type in my brother all one word that stamps.com into my brother all one word. Got a brush and teeth. Yep. They get dirty when you eat food and that's unavoidable. There's no way there's no such thing as clean food. It's all going to get on there. It's all going to stain them and get them filthy filthy like your teeth. And it's not just it's not just when you eat food. You're like on a motorbike and you like have your mouth open or get bugs in there or you trip you trip while you're on a farm

and you lay on a big puddle of hog shit. Yep. Whatever the situation quip has this amazing smart electric toothbrush that can teach you good habits like you know brushing your teeth correctly for the right amount of time and for the right reasons for the correct reasons. I'm just thinking of all these sellouts out there brushing their teeth just to get ads on their shows. I brush my teeth for the right reasons quip. Well quip has another good reason for you to do it. They have this new smart brush for adults and kids and it connects to this quip app on your freaking phone and it measures how good a brush you are how and you get points and you can redeem those points for rewards like free products gift cards and discounts from

quip and partners. I'm sorry. That's the right reason. I'm going to do that now. I've changed my mind. This is the right reason. It's very strong. It's a very strong. It's a powerful idea from quip innovators in the space. Fuck yes. Feel like you're going to Chuck E Cheese every time you brush your teeth. It's amazing. You can get a brush you can get a brush head toothpaste and floss refills delivered from five bucks and you can start getting rewarded for brushing your teeth today by going to getquip.com slash my brother right now to get your first refill free. That's your first refill free at getquip.com slash my brother. That's G E T Q U I P dot com slash my brother quip better oral health made simple and rewarding shmanners noun definition rules of etiquette

designed not to judge others but rather to guide ourselves through everyday social situations. Hello Internet. I'm your husband host Travis McElroy and I'm your wife host Teresa McElroy. Every week on Shmanners we take a look at a topic that has to do with society or manners. We talk about the history of it. We take a look at how it applies to everyday life and we take some of your questions and sometimes we do a biography about a really cool person that had an impact on how we view etiquette. So join us every Friday and listen to Shmanners on MaximumFun.org or wherever podcasts are found. Manor Shmanners. Get it. I want a Munch Squad. Welcome to Munch Squad. It's a somber podcast within a podcast dedicated to

the latest and greatest in brand eating. And today we're saying goodbye to some friends. I have three different stories for you all about saying goodbye. Oh no. And I think in these times it's important to embrace change but it's also also very important to take a look back and say like this is where we were. This is who we were. This is what we were. The first and most notable and this one is going to be kind of a harder Munch Squad because it's not a lot of jokes in this one. We're going to send jokes. Jokes can kind of press the air up against the door in case it hears something really important. But for the most part I just want to take a moment to say goodbye because on August 13th Taco Bell trimmed their menu at stores across the country and we

said goodbye to... Can I... Justin real quick. 12 really great items Trav. Can I make one joke? Well let's see. It's weird to me that Taco Bell would have to cut their items when they are all made from the same five basic ingredients. That's cool. I heard you out though. So they're streamlining as a result of COVID-19. I mean these are today's calamities and casualties are all COVID-19 related. So they're streamlining their menu. A lot of restaurants have done this. You can't get a fucking grilled chicken sandwich at McDonald's to save your life even if you're the kind of boy that just eats the loose breasted chicken to get him through the day. It's not available. It's here anymore. Taco Bell is following suit. We're going to say goodbye to some friends

in the grilled steaks off Taco. No! The seven-layer burrito. What? The quesarito. Which is weirdly still available via the app for order ahead. So I guess it's kind of like if you want a quesarillo you've got to let us know. We got to go into the closet. We got a high shelf. We got to get some stuff out of Nacho's Supreme. Whoa! This is the category. This is where it really starts to hurt for me because the beefy Fritos burrito is like my fucking shit along with the loaded grillers both of which are now gone. Wow! No spicy tostada. No triple-layer nachos. Potatoes? They don't have them anymore. What? Spicy potato soft taco gone. Chips and dips out. Cheesy fiesta potatoes gone. So I just want to say I want to say this one's real this one really

stings. A lot of my road dogs are in that list and I'm going to miss those boys and all the different things they did to my body. So rest rest in peace my friends. You know I hope to see you back again sometime. You never know. Let's take a trip over to Belgium. Let's fly this sad funeral plane over to Belgium where we're going to say goodbye to just basic human dignity. Burger King is offering in Belgium is offering to print customers orders on face masks so they can avoid mask mumbling. So they can avoid mask mumbling. They will print how do they get the orders. 250 of just just ride or die Burger King fans over there are gonna get their order printed on a face mask that they can wear into Burger King at this point. In the biggest boldest steps

we've taken towards the Wally future yet you'll just be able to point at your mask to get your food slurry shaped in whatever form you want. What this what this assumes is that every employee at these it's assuming a lot. I don't know how you're winnowing it down but that every employee at a Belgian at every Belgian Burger King will know about this with only 250 of them being made so that when one person for the first time and maybe only time ever walks into one location and just points at their own face mask they'll be like ah of course of course I know what that means got it. It also assumes that you will get the exact same thing every time you go to Burger King or is it dry erase what's happening? Um the uh the the last one is uh is rough um

Kentucky Fried Chicken uh KFC to its friends is um um it's saying goodbye it's a finger looking good no well because of oh I see um I want to say a huge thank you to Justin not me to different Justin for sending this my way but of course yes KFC has now on today the as we were recording this year of our lord and perhaps the day you're listening to our August 24th year of our lord at a nominee 2020 today KFC was like hey um are we still saying

finger looking good people shouldn't do that wait right I mean I will I will raise the point that if you are eating the chicken yeah the damage is done right and fomite transmission on surfaces does not seem to be a huge vector for infection but that's not a good slogan that's a very long slogan actually so Catherine Tan Gillespie global chief marketing officer at KFC said in the statement we find ourselves in a unique situation huh having an iconic slogan that doesn't quite fit in the current environment this is of course a problem shared by uh a lot of different change you know what a burger uh has their long time slogan jammed that virus inside me and they have had to suspend that of course Mickey Mickey D's had to change their licky D's

but now they're Mickey D's yeah while we are pausing the use of its finger licking good we're pausing it's on hi hi it's just it's just on hiatus until the day that I assume the day the vaccine is made widely available you will know this is the reverse canary in the coal mine you will know that the danger has passed because the kernel will proudly proudly announce that you can once more lick your fingers and there will be a global balloon drop it'll be the first one of its kind while we're pausing the use of its finger licking good rest assured the food craved by so many people around the world isn't changing one bit it would actually be patley insane if they were like this food's too fucking good it's everybody's licking their fingers because it's so damn delicious

we have we have to fix we have to fix it just wash your hands before you eat the chicken oh Steve I see I see you got some kfc for lunch how is it I mean it's good fine I left my fingers silky though uh I washed my hands which is weird um it just said uh uh during a year when the pandemic is upended businesses and lives around the globe use of the slogan quote doesn't feel quite right it is august 20 fucking fourth okay april may june july we're five months and change into this and they've just now been like no one lick your fingers all right that sucks oh well yeah it's tough times all around but um you know you do what you can uh let's let's do another question yeah is there a way to make exercise feel good lots of people claim exercise feels good

but I find it actually feels bad where muscles hurt it's hard to breathe yeah are my endorphins broken am I permanently messed up from being the slowest kid in elementary school gym class or is there some way I can convince myself that exercise for its own sake is it basically a form of punishment and that's from peeved and push-ups impasse if exercise felt good I'd be doing it right right now yep for sure yep this is the exercise does not feel good no this is a lot no if exercise felt good we'd all be carved yes we don't have our beach bodies right 24 hours stay yeah we don't be shredded wheat you know what I mean we'd all be amazing but the thing is I think for it's it feels good I think the idea of it makes you feel good but the actual practice of it hurts your body

it hurts your body to jump up and down uh huh and lift things yes that are heavy for no reason that that one's gonna make the old muscles and body and bones and tissue and organs hurt I I think that exercise felt good uh huh it doesn't feel good though like you know in retrospect you can get to the end of a run and be all sweaty but then the sweat goes away and you're like man that felt good no that's just your body thanking you for not running anymore right and even then it will feel bad again later when you sit down for too long and go to stand up and your legs are like fuck you you've used me all up today check in again tomorrow I I have a friend who did a big run and like with lots of other people and his his nipples were gone and it's like I want to ask him

in that moment as he crosses crosses the finish line they dump milk on him or whatever like how do you how do you feel yeah because I bet you right then actually you know what 10 feet before the finish line how do you feel maybe the middle of the marathon marathon because when you're 10 feet from the finish line you're probably like oh god it's almost over halfway through when you could take or leave it and your nipples are already gone yeah I bet you don't feel good I bet this exercise feels quite bad in there is there's a point in there where your nipples begin to chafe and you think I'm gonna keep going and that for me is where the disconnect occurs because I would be thinking oh my feet are tired and my legs already kind of hurt wait my nipples are hurting

I'm pretty sure they're not doing anything right now this is clearly wrong I'm going to go to a doctor the time when I bet it would feel good is when I was like 18 19 20 yes absolutely that's just more of the good your body when you're young is filled with good juice yes and then if you exercise it triggers your muscles to release more good juice that just makes them feel good and go forever correct you hit a point I believe it's 28 where your body's like that's all the juice I have there's no more good juice production so if you exercise now you're just using up what little juice you have left correct that and I think that's where I'm at now uh I went for a walk with my dogs yesterday and noticed about three hours later my arms hurt and that's when it's like my body was

like I don't know what other signals I can send you my dude that we are not outdoor kids you and me buddy we're chair friends yeah I got gamer hands yeah that's tough that's tough and the problem is people look at me and they think Travis is a big strong boy who can do anything oh no oh no and they'll ask me like hey can you run and run this marathon for charity or like I need a big strong man to like lift his car off of this person who's trapped underneath it and I'm like oh no this is all for show yeah it's decorative meat yeah this is for showing not for going you know what I mean like I can't lift that car off of your loved one I'm sorry but I can take a picture of it and put it on Instagram I I uh I have been having to wear a carpal tunnel brace on my wrist because I messed

my body up because I'm old and I tried to start woodworking in my late 30s and my body's like that's too much you can't squeeze that drill for that long and now my body is so ruined by the carpal tunnel that I can't even game oh that's rough dude can you imagine dude no dude I can't unless I wanted to connect oh that's nice yeah I guess I could do that just dance with the kids you know no I can't dance no my body's riddled with pain I can't it was so this it I it's hard to sleep it it's a large brace and I thought your body it's hard to sleep in my body it ain't easy thank you mr. real appreciate it anyway get an old as bad yesterday I was reading in my woodworking magazine and there was an ad for very small oxygen tanks that let you keep woodworking

you would if you need one of those and I fucking spiraled so bad I had to lay down the floor this is not I'm not in any way joking there's a man with a very tiny oxygen tank fucking doing some carving in his shop um first off I still don't think that's a great idea but secondly I just fucking laid down spiraled I was I was in a bad state um hey can't do yeah wait I forgot that I have a great new segment for you guys okay so I know I already did the one about fast food but that one's over we've all seen it coming for some time we've been sunsetting it is in its twilight I have been getting wood magazine and wood magazine has pack in advertisements all right and I just wanted to share with you guys as a member of the wood magazine target demographic

some of the products that are coming my way okay um first off is uh it's a huge ad for advanced digital hearing aid technology which is now rechargeable it's about how a Chicago doctor shook up hearing aid industry with his newest invention it's a very good um it's very good hearing aid seems great here's one this is good celebrate your team in style and it's a decanter and four small glasses with my favorite football team oh and then the stopper on the decanter is a little glass football helmet Justin when did you retire the the crystal glasses and decanter a rim with gleaming 2012 karat gold for beauty and years of use so this is these advertisements are not necessarily for woodworking supplies for exactly the demographic okay woodworking

magazine holy shit here's a model a let coke refresh you behind the wheel of a daring bell air this is an exclusive Hamilton debut of a small scale model of uh one one uh one to 18 scale 11 inch long uh coca-cola car it's a Chevrolet bell air with coca-cola graphics on it beautiful huh be beautiful and just three payments of 33 33 and then you could own this uh uh fucking bell air with coke logos all over for a hundred dollars Justin does every advertisement begin with you're reading a woodworking magazine so we assume you've got disposable income you we assume you're burning your old and ready to blow it off you don't want to leave anything to your ungrateful kids so check out this decanter with your favorite sports team on it now in that same

price range limited to 95 casting days skillfully handcrafted and painted by a hand this all-new collectible paste tribute to budweiser the king of beers in the classic woody wagon for just a hundred dollars i can have a small car with budweiser wiser written on it and it looks like a wagon and it's 11 inches long and i can buy it for a hundred dollars it's a stutibator woody wagon say that stutibaker you say it funny guy vintage slogans and graphics complete its classic look and you can just buy that and you can own this small you see these things and you're like how do these you see these things second right at secondary places and you're like that's a weird item how did this get what was the primary entrance of this item into the ecosystem you

know what i'm saying somebody must have called budweiser enough times is that like hey do you guys sell like models of your i mean like you see this kind of stuff at a second hand store and you're like that's fucking weird but you don't stop to consider like how it made its primary interest entrance into earth and this is how they're getting in is to the bralford exchange i have one more bralford exchange piece i think can i also just say real quick is a slight tangent but you mentioned budweiser it suddenly clicked for me a really good spokesperson for budweiser would be paul riser and like just say like i'm paul riser for budweiser and that's just making me really happy that kicks ass trap i think that was cool dude spirit of the west express silver edition

huh you can celebrate the 100th anniversary of the indian head nickel with this real working electric train collection what are you fucking kidding me with this here's some things that said oh i did want to tell you by the way on the budweiser thing it has this big uh uh star emblazoned on it and written in there it says officially licensed my anhyzer bush oh thank god it'd be pretty fucking crazy it wasn't huh if they're like just like hey we're just making a budweiser car what do we care with the bralford exchange you can't touch us can't touch us um you know who we are so there's this imagine a person who's like i did want to mark the centennial of this great nickel so i'm gonna buy a silver train to mark this exciting occasion it's an electric train

and you get um some pieces of track need to run your train and it's got one of the it's got a nickel replica on the front and it's made of silver and it's um let's say three easy payments of 26 66 and then you get other cars for more money minted for only 26 years that seems like a lot feel like you can make a lot of nickels in there considering that considering the budweiser car only has 95 casting days i have to say six years seems like a 26 years is a very long time i've never made a nickel before and i think i could make a lot of nickels in 26 years i bet you could um what's great about that is that train sitting on the shelf would be the best way like it's like a prime example of a thing that like a like an adult kid would walk into and see on a parent shelf

and think fuck you dad i remember dad when you told me you wouldn't help me buy my first car because i had to learn to be responsible with money fuck you dad now you're just blowing a hundred out think of all the times in your life you didn't have a hundred dollars and now you have a hundred dollars to buy a budweiser truck that you won't let your grandkids play with because i know you on this silver train on this silver train set it says that um you pay the 26 66 for three easy payments then you keep getting the fucking trains and then it said you could cancel any time what and i i the idea that you would change from a person that would want this to a person that wouldn't want this at this point in your life is unfathomable to me i'm assuming the only cancellations are

usually part of a state settlement i have to imagine that is the only actual cancellation of this product that ever occurs why am i still getting this oh wow thank you so much for listening to our program my brother my brother may we hope you have enjoyed yourself hey uh will you get our podcasting book uh it's right over there can you just hand it to me we i know we make this look easy but um it's actually quite a challenge and we can teach you how we do it it's called uh everybody has a pocket is it everyone or i can never remember i came up with the name i still don't remember everybody has a podcast except you uh and it's coming out in january but you can preorder it now so please do that at wherever uh fine books are sold i wanted to say at the last like 72 hours

have been pretty sort of horrifying nationally speaking and i would encourage everybody to find some way to chip in to help both with the uh the california wildfires there's no shortage of places that you can donate to or uh you know mutual aid funds that you can support for specific communities affected by the wildfires uh and also uh finding ways to support uh black lives matter and the uh the milwaukee freedom fund who's working with protesters over jacob lakes shooting which is uh the fucking infuriating uh in kenosha um yeah we'll have links in the episode description and uh yeah think about helping out with that because it's uh shit is super rough right now along those same lines make sure that you are registered to vote

there are uh there was a lot of like voter registration purging over time and if you change addresses anything like that it's really easy to check don't wait on it uh because we're probably gonna need to do a lot of early uh and mail in and absentee ballots and that is gonna probably a fuck fucking mess fucking shitty yeah fucking sucks so make sure that you're registered now if not get registered and then vote against donald trump yeah also thanks to john rodrick and along winters for these for a theme song instead of partcher off the album putting the days to bed and um thank you for listening thanks max when fun for having us on the network and um let's let's let's take it to the bridge i by which i mean the the conclusion

let's do it this finally i who was sent in by adrian calis thank you adrian is yahoo answers user anonymous deadpool also asks this one very irreverent and very funny and kick he kicks ass and he asks is the t m and t movie from 1990 significant yeah i'm griffin macroi sorry it's that's question has me has me on a journey this has been my brother my brother made kiss your dad's square on the lips you maximum fun dot org comedy and culture artist owned audience supported